What are the haps my friends

April 9th, 2009: Many times I have complained to those near to me that if I were sent back in time I would be pretty useless. I am pretty handy with a computer, but it's not like I can build something functional from scratch. And if I found myself sent back in time, what could I tell people about the future except "It'll be fun" and "Your great-great grandkids are gonna love it"?

WITH THAT IN MIND, I have been researching all of the low-hanging fruit of civilization: stuff that doesn't take that much to describe once it's invented, but still produces a useful payoff. The basics of electricity. Radio. Modern medicine. That sort of thing! And I've put it on a shirt, which I am calling "the Time Traveler Essentials shirt".

This amazing garment has illustrations, how-tos and easy-to-understand information on how to recreate all the low-hanging fruit of the past 200 years! Don't worry about having to remember what penicillin looks like: it's right on your friggin' shirt.

This is how it's gonna go down:

Oh dang dang dang I'm trapped in the past! OHHH SHIIIIII-

oh wait I forgot about my shirt!!

While you can't read all the text clearly in that image, everything is perfectly crystal clear on the shirt - it's really gorgeous. And if you ARE the kind of person who likes to read what their things say before they buy them, click here for a larger version!

I hope you like it! And if you don't wear clothes these days, it's also available as a totally sweet museum-quality poster:

Note: this shirt was totally awesome to research.

GUESS WHAT JUST CAME OUT: IT'S MY NEW BOOK!! If you've ever wondered what you'd do if you were stranded in the past, wonder no longer! With HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING, you'll reinvent civilization from scratch, no matter what time period you're in. You'll become the single most influential, decisive, and important person ever born. You'll make history...


Here's the trailer!

One year ago today: have there been any serious religious studies into how god is the ultimate obsessive fanboy nerd about us? no? man, *this* is why people have trouble showing up on sunday morning, major religions

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out