In any case! Baglieg on LJ informs me that, as with most things, it turns out the food industry has beat T-Rex there with Olestra. Olestra is a fat substitute that contains no fat itself, but, you know, isn't actually food and can't be digested by the body. One side effect is that it coats vitamins in the food, so not only do you not get any fat in the food, but other vitamins that would otherwise be there also pass through you undigested. Finally, it causes you to poop more. Olestra can also be used, Wikipedia informs us, as "a base in deck stains and a lubricant for small power tools".

All of these efforts may be for naught, as Charlie let me know, because even if there were a new form of bacon that tasted exactly like regular bacon but had fewer calories, it might taste worse to us than the regular fatty version. Scienceblogs has more details with The Neuroscience of McGriddles.

Food's neat, you guys!

– Ryan