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What are the haps my friends


February 22nd, 2011: It might not have been murder, because as this frankly-amazing news story from 1931 says, "In Manchuria hunters are in the habit of poisoning the carcasses of partridges with strychnine and leaving them on the ground as bait to catch rare foxes without spoiling the fur. But what about the HOORAYS of J. Hartigan?" What about them, indeed??

Seriously, read this article. The newspaperman who wrote it almost a century ago seems obsessed with describing people's faces, and also what kind of dogs they have. It is basically amazing. It also features the phrases "a case of Indian revenge?" and "stalwart, red-faced horse doctor" which, I am prepared to guarantee, puts it linguistically above every other story you'll read this week.

Thanks to someone on twitter (I forget who, sorry, twitter search is basically the worst) who pointed me to this article, which nicely tells Hubert's story by way of a definition for the word "pregustation". It also mentions some other creepy telegrams sent, but I couldn't find any other references to those, and we are concerned with VERIFIABLE FACTS here at walking talking dinosaur comics incorporated.

To make sure the best gifts ever in time get to you when you want them, here are the HOLIDAY SHIPPING DEADLINES. Orders placed before these dates will get to you in time for Christmas!

December 1st-4th: All shipping methods except U.S.P.S. First-Class Package International Service™ are safe.
December 5th: International orders made not selecting U.S.P.S. Priority Mail Express International™ shipping will likely arrive in January.
December 10th: USPS FIRST CLASS and STANDARD may not make it in time and neither will USPS EXPRESS MAIL INTERNATIONAL.
December 14th: ALMOST NOTHING IS SAFE. USPS EXPRESS is the only safe USPS option. For FEDEX HOME/GROUND shipping it depends on where you are: refer to this map!
December 17th: A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (IF THINGS PLACED ON OR AFTER THIS DATE ARRIVE BY THE 24TH, THAT IS)

One year ago today: when rats attacked him at night, he was all, "frig, guess i'll just DOMESTICATE SOME FERAL CATS to keep the rats away then!" NICE. alexander selkirk solved PROBLEMS.

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out