RECOMMEND T-REX TO... THE INTERNET:
What are the haps my friends


October 3rd, 2012: I am out of poems, so here is a rap. I wrote it so when the first computer comes alive it'll have something to rap about! Okay here we go:

You humans can feel a lot of feels,
And you can eat a lot of meals,
That sounds like a lot of work
Geez

(This is where the computer makes eye contact with an audience member, drops the mic, and walks off stage)

To make sure the best gifts ever in time get to you when you want them, here are the HOLIDAY SHIPPING DEADLINES. Orders placed before these dates will get to you in time for Christmas!

December 1st-4th: All shipping methods except U.S.P.S. First-Class Package International Service™ are safe.
December 5th: International orders made not selecting U.S.P.S. Priority Mail Express International™ shipping will likely arrive in January.
December 10th: USPS FIRST CLASS and STANDARD may not make it in time and neither will USPS EXPRESS MAIL INTERNATIONAL.
December 14th: ALMOST NOTHING IS SAFE. USPS EXPRESS is the only safe USPS option. For FEDEX HOME/GROUND shipping it depends on where you are: refer to this map!
December 17th: A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (IF THINGS PLACED ON OR AFTER THIS DATE ARRIVE BY THE 24TH, THAT IS)

One year ago today: this is me alienating all the loch ness monsters in my audience just as chris hastings of dr mcninja dot com has alienated all his draculas

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out