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What are the haps my friends


June 28th, 2017: I am Kickstarting a new book! It's called WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE PUNCHES A FRIGGIN' SHARK and/or other stories and it's gonna be great, in my not-at-all-biased opinion!!


GUESS WHAT JUST CAME OUT: IT'S MY NEW BOOK!! If you've ever wondered what you'd do if you were stranded in the past, wonder no longer! With HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING, you'll reinvent civilization from scratch, no matter what time period you're in. You'll become the single most influential, decisive, and important person ever born. You'll make history...

...better.

Here's the trailer!

One year ago today: you may think a cop making baseball puns with a gun that fires baseballs isn't THAT dark and gritty, but wait till you realize such "a gun that fires baseballs" is A CANNON being fired at people with deadly accuracy. okay enjoy

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out