What are the haps my friends

August 9th, 2006: My brother Victor accidentally longboarded through a puddle of blue ink on his way to work today. There were actually two puddles there on the road, puddles of ink, like what you'd put in your pen. It raises a lot of questions. Victor ruined his white work pants, but on the other hand, he ruined his pants in a pretty improbable way. Here's how he suspects it went down, IN HIS OWN WORDS WHICH I THOUGHT I'D SHARE:

*Man buys hilariously oversized jug of ink refill, we see him struggling to take oversized jug down from shelf, almost lose it, spin on his heel and walk to cash*

*We then see a car pull up to a curb, man gets out of car, moves to trunk, and takes out ridiculous jug of ink. Maybe the ink jug has three xxxs on it for some reason. Legs bent, he fights to get it into his home, but the lid pops off! Thick, blue ink splashes on the sidewalk. "Phew" thinks our man. He is clean, which is lucky, because he is wearing all white. He looks like he stepped out of a Tide commercial. He tries to bend over the pick up the lid with one hand, while balancing the jug with the other on his hip! But the ink barrel slooshes ink all over his face! "Oooob-Waaa!!" The man silently mouths curses in slow-mo as the unlikely ink flows over his face, in his mouth, covering him in blue. This creates puddle number two.*

*Flash wipe to me skating through puddle number 1. Me: "Aw man!"

I, for one, will be looking for opportunities to shout "Oooob-Waaa!!" when in trouble from now on.
YOU LIKE TO READ: Probably, huh? Well GOOD NEWS: my book To Be or Not To Be (choose-your-own-path Hamlet!) is in the new Humble eBooks Bundle! Up to FIFTEEN books at a pay-what-you-want price, plus you support charity (and artists)! Definitely worth checking out, if you ask me.

NEW SHIRTS: As you may have noticed, I've spent the past all this year coming up with a new shirt design every month. Then I sold them for two weeks only! But now they're BACK... for two weeks only. Check them out! There are some PRETTY FRIGGIN' AWESOME shirts here. There's also a new one about dating, kinda?

One year ago today: t-rex has another Theory

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out