What are the haps my friends

August 10th, 2006: My brother Victor accidentally longboarded through a puddle of blue ink on his way to work today. There were actually two puddles there on the road, puddles of ink, like what you'd put in your pen. It raises a lot of questions. Victor ruined his white work pants, but on the other hand, he ruined his pants in a pretty improbable way. Here's how he suspects it went down, IN HIS OWN WORDS WHICH I THOUGHT I'D SHARE:

*Man buys hilariously oversized jug of ink refill, we see him struggling to take oversized jug down from shelf, almost lose it, spin on his heel and walk to cash*

*We then see a car pull up to a curb, man gets out of car, moves to trunk, and takes out ridiculous jug of ink. Maybe the ink jug has three xxxs on it for some reason. Legs bent, he fights to get it into his home, but the lid pops off! Thick, blue ink splashes on the sidewalk. "Phew" thinks our man. He is clean, which is lucky, because he is wearing all white. He looks like he stepped out of a Tide commercial. He tries to bend over the pick up the lid with one hand, while balancing the jug with the other on his hip! But the ink barrel slooshes ink all over his face! "Oooob-Waaa!!" The man silently mouths curses in slow-mo as the unlikely ink flows over his face, in his mouth, covering him in blue. This creates puddle number two.*

*Flash wipe to me skating through puddle number 1. Me: "Aw man!"

I, for one, will be looking for opportunities to shout "Oooob-Waaa!!" when in trouble from now on.

To make sure the best gifts ever in time get to you when you want them, here are the HOLIDAY SHIPPING DEADLINES. Orders placed before or on these dates will get to you in time for Christmas!

December 5th: Last day that ALL US shipping methods are safe.
December 12th: Last day that to use USPS Priority or Express for international orders!
December 13th: Only USPS Priority Express or FedEx 2- for guaranteed Christmas delivery.
December 18th-December 19th: FedEx 2-Day and Overnight might work, but no promises!!

Here that is in GRAPHIC FORM!

One year ago today: solipsists: there can only be one

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out