Do you regret
getting nine inches on an oilrig and waking up covered in blackstuff?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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How much can you expect to regret ?

a world of regret

the death of Verne Troyer
boning Professor Alice Roberts
a gay assed, fat oriental
Sarson Sand Chips, Tatooine fast food vendor
Sarson's & chips, a winning combination!
having impure thoughts about Professor Alice Roberts
tho Chorch of Onglond
Squirrel Nutkin's squirrel's nut skin
a bland faced, small oriental
'Mezzanine' is apparently the second largest file ever stored using DNA
Jong un, darling it's Kim Jong un
developing the biggest colon
it's gonna be big
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a dick named Darkwang
ils chantent, ils dansent, ils jouent la comedie
Star Trek Colon Tactical Assault
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a duck named Darkwing
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a man named Darkwing
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Half Hawaiian Pizza
accidentally thinking there was something called Harry Potter and the Half Blood Pizza
John Barron's body lies a mouldering in the grave
old timey westerns and cop shows but every time someone says "throw it on the ground" they're dubbed with "put 'em on the glass" instead
LlamaTORQUE
John Barron's body
Llamathrust
pulling out correction, Smurfette can't be in eleven places at once
there are no easy things in this world, except Kento, and even then, you have to be around or otherwise experience Kento, which is kind of difficult if you're not a walrus
pulling out
correction, Smurfette can't be in eleven places at once
Smurfette can't be in two places at once
wondering how Handy Smurf got his name
handy
well, they didn't actually "solve" the mystery but let's just say they don't care about it anymore
Blue balls mystery solved by scientists
Colobopsis explodens
singing "Michael Finnegan" to the tune of the original Battlestar Galactica theme
Losing Streak Lois
fuck marry kill, a Boston cream pie, a Boston crab, the Boston Strangler
I thought the Generals were due!
Whenever we go out, people stop and shout, theregoes John Jacob Switzerland Schmidt
Switzerland Thor Chinchilla Geldof
Whenever we go abroad, people refer to us as Switzerland Thor Chinchilla
investing in eSwatini instead of crunching your own eSwatini blockchains
Whenever we go abroad, people refer to us as Switzerland
Thor Chinchilla
the sultan of sand
marriedwiki dot com
Birthdayden
Birthdaysen Christensen
Oscor tho Grooch
The Curious Cans of Oscar the Grouch
wondering whether Oscar's junk matches his can
wondering whether Grover's chairs match his table
Tho Hongor Gomos
The Hangry Games
biking to Camden with Camren Bicondova
wondering whether Grover's carpet matches his drapes
drawing a picture of Grover getting a Brazilian
Grover, I just met 'er!
what happens on Sesame Street stays on Sesame Street
yeah, you mom told me about it when I was fucking her last night
you'd know
he's a freak
Elmo was into it
neither was Grover
Oscar was not best pleased
he still got on Oscar for it though
the guy who takes over the club just says "I am high as shit now" and dances badly for five hours, then dies of heatstroke
worst Tom Hanks movie ever
epic Captain Molly
lactic nipple mayo
typical policeman
policeman's rectum up into his brain
The US Air Force is making it clear that dinosaur sex has no place in its "time honored" military traditions
The US Air Force is making it clear that dinosaur puppets have no place in its "time honored" military traditions
I wouldn't be surprised if history remembers this as the Riker Maneuver
it darn near killed him
"I just want you to know that I have the utmost respect for the law" sighs Riker as he punches the nineteenth century San Francisco policeman's rectum up into his brain
"I just want you to know that I have the utmost respect for the law" sighs Riker as he punches the nineteenth century San Francisco policeman's septum up into his brain
arguing about whether it should be described as a "kale sea" or a "sea of kale" with Kelsey Grammer
determining the worth of Bebe Neuwirth's new baby
James Bloodworth came across a bottle of urine
that you'll probably see Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks next week
Meesa Honey Chicken
Five Dolla Chicken
Me Luv You Long Time Chicken
Miso Honey Chicken
Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike spine
oh my god I had heatstroke how many times do I need to say I'm sorry
'Free NHS spine enlargement therapy' offered to IVxIV drivers in mystery poster
rich guys get all the breaks
'Free NHS penis enlargement therapy' offered to IVxIV drivers in mystery poster
there's less of them so the figure is lower, they just lead shorter lives
no, it's shorter
wondering if the suicide rate among short people is significantly higher than the general population
not knowing if there is a scene in the books where Grima Wormtongue walks up to the gates of Rohan City and says "hey, my name is Wormtongue and I want to advise your king," and they're like "sure, this Wormtongue guy sounds like a right good chap"
you got a friend in short people
that whole bit where Grima says "there is no such force" and then he follows Saruman outside where there's even exactly such a force blowing horns and beating drums and it's like what, how is this guy in any way the kind of adviser anybody would ever want
the butt stroke
Eating the cream of some young guy
Being the cream of some young guy
Being a too much nerdy young guy
the breast stroke
X Men Burgers and Fries
X Boyz II X Men
being the pudgy exterior for breakfast
Ex Men III
eating the pudgy exterior for breakfast
eating the expired yogurt for breakfast
I just killed myself by fire as a protest suicide
realistically you'd have to kill Elmo, but that raises the disturbing question of what kind of genitalia Big Bird has, because if he's got one of those anseriforme exploding corkscrew penises, it's time to update your will
fuck marry kill, Big Bird, Elmo, Cookie Monster
being mad at NASCAR in Madagascar
Steamed hams scene played forward but their lines are reversed
Elmo isn't really into bestiality or role play
DK rapsody
Tony, who eats fish and chips three days a week and rarely touches pastry
Morrisons have got their own agenda
that YOU'RE the Juggernaut bitch was an early regret index YOUYOU
that I'm the Juggernaut bitch was an early regret index meme
expecting a warm front
being a dude who has put topless picture of himself on the internet jerking off to the weather channel
eating delicious pie for breakfast, if you know what I mean
being a dude who has put topless picture of himself on the internet
jerking off to the weather channel
that regret number twenty nine on the old regret index was "X Men Three" with a hyphen between X and Men but it can't be replicated because hyphens are not allowed now
watching X Men III for the first time and thinking every second is moronic
In the Voyager relaunch book series, Seven broke up with Chakotay, moved in with her aunt, and attained much undesired celebrity
Titus Sandronicus
Meesa for Meesa
Hundred Years' War Episode I Colon Richard II
Jar Jar Caesar
H'aaaml'et't
The Two Jedi Men of Veroleem
Romeo and Boba Fett
across procedurally generated mountains are memories of minecraft
across Tibetan mountains are memories of mine
Harvey Weinstein ass film, eh
The Star Wars
King Leia
Mace Windu About Nothing
Observers quickly noted the resemblance of Earring Magic Ken to a stereotypical gay man, from the purple clothes to the earring to the necklace, which was described as a "chrome cock ring"
My Scene Colon Jammin' in Jamaica
assuming that by "down to earth" they mean "passed out on the floor most of the time"
Harvey Weinstein as Himself
In the end, they are all invited to the red carpet opening of the movie, Lindsay Lohan
The girls imagine themselves becoming best friends with Lindsay Lohan, who turns out to be really nice and down to earth
fuck marry bees, Therm Scissorpunch, Thorin Oakenshield, Grunt Meatslab
Thorin FUCKS! down and starts singing about beeees
drawing a picture of Kento being Bussard ramscooped by a Geordie and a Scottie
Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold
Therm Scissorpunch, eighties action lesbian
Therm Scissorpunch
OLD MAN YELLS AT WALRUS
Badger seems like he's given some pretty vigorous handies over the years
fuck marry kill, Brock Lesnar, Kelly LeBrock, Badger from Bodger and Badger
OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD
fuck marry kill, Brock Lesnar, Brock Peters, Brock from Pokemon
I just thought people already knew that, but I guess some people are so young that they forgot about that
drawing a picture of Louis CK being Eiffel towered by a Canadian sikh and Louie Anderson
Sir Incestsalot
seeking to meet Louis CK in St Louis to see Meet Me In St Louis and meat him
stealing that dude's bro from the fires of Mt Doom
what a dudebro story the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings turned out to be
Two Adults read an Adult Story II Colon Shagging me Nan
urethral sanding, eh
burying men who didn't repay their loans with Barry Manilow
burying whites with Barry White
seventy percent Ted, thirty percent Bill is doing wonders for my begonias
Bill & Ted's Excrement Admixture
if I have to start picking names out of the phone book to make stupid rhymes, I will
getting out of my dreams and into Myke Hawke
a former English actress, model and yoga teacher
adjourning memes with Gemma Merna
getting out of my dreams and into my car, terrifying five hundred mile long chase from a one legged zombie that can almost keep up with the car in my dreams
Billy Ocean, Mon Calamari moisture farmer
Billy Mitchell, outer rim smuggler
Billy Mitchell Stripped Of All His Scores And Banned By Twin Galaxies
drawing a picture of Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson braiding their challa dough together
always getting Obi Wan Kenobi and Qui Gon Jinn braided up
always getting Obi Wan Kenobi and Old Ben beat up
always getting Obi Wan Kenobi and Old Ben mixed up
always getting Ben Affleck and Ryan Reynolds mixed up
damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Geldof
the song Data & Picard by Pogo
lithe thighs burgers and sighs
McCoy, suffering from a cordrazine overdose
all of ten thighs
all of the things
Bum Sellolds, Kento sockpuppet
Tort Reylleck, outer rim bounty hunter
always getting Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds mixed up
obviously you'd marry Jon Favreau, he's not just fabulously wealthy, he loves to cook
bottoming for fatworld dickgirl Denise Richards in Unfeasibly Large Richards II
bottoming for dickgirl Denise Richards in Unfeasibly Large Richards
fuck marry kill, Jon Favreau, Tom Selleck, Matthew Perry
fuck marry kill, Fanny Chmelar, sweet Fanny Adams, Fanny Murray
I think you'll find it's unfeasibly large Richards actually
I know that you have a thing for tiny little Richards
fuck marry kill, Rich Hall, Rich Little, Little Richard
Gabbo is coming
the city of San Antonio amended its city ordinances dealing with "sexually oriented businesses", or SOBs
could you BE any more FUCK!
blowing a lass while getting your asshole bleached, is there anything more regret index
I'd also blow a lass for a Klondike bar
I'd also blow a lass for that
alas
not a word of a lie, I'd blow him for that
just now thinking how much smoother of a scene that would have been if Anakin had illustrated his sand point by letting a neat little pile of it form on the balustrade simply by tipping it from his sleeve
it's smooth and hydrating and natural and it gets everywhere
It's so cute, and I love that it's all natural so I don't ever have to worry about her putting it all over her face
seeing a commercial for "total hydration" chapstick starring Rachel Bilson and suspecting that she got pushed into doing due to Hayden Christensen's complaints of "sandy" blow jobs
praying for Virginia Mantis
A Virginia woman accused of beheading her boyfriend allegedly shouted during her arrest that police officers "have to take me back and let me get my heads"
You can't arrest me, I'm a spy!
These Gorgeous Uranian Women Are Waiting To Probe You
Baba Yaga
These Gorgeous Ukrainian Women Are Waiting To Chat With You
SlavMunchers
Inviting Slavic Goddesses Are Waiting For Your Message Here!
SnoutMunchers
At StarMunchers we have a huge range of mostly just snouts and entrails to suit every occasion
Pokemon Manbeasts and Slavbabes
Legal Steroid Turning Men Into Beasts With No Exercise!
Start Chatting With Slavic Babes Who Are Totally Into You Here!
it's mostly just snouts and entrails
At StarMunchers we have a huge range of genitals to suit every occasion
At Celebrity Cutouts we have a huge range of personalities to suit every occasion
Sunset occurs roughly every fifteen minutes
Holden Caulfield fills your ryes
Jennifer Garner is mourning the death of her pet chicken Regina George
that's just what he told the doctors, he was actually trying to get the batteries out
Man hospitalised after inserting three foot long cable into penis to relieve itch
Mewwy Cuwwie was Powish born but Fwench bwed
wanting to make Mewwy cuwwie for dinna
Mewwy had a fwozen buwwito, it tasted wike misewy
dwawing a pictuwe of Mewwy being Eiffew Towewed by Jonathan Woss and Elmew Fudd, hehehehehehe
Mewwy wants nakkos and a burikko for dinna
For example, "Mary wants curry for dinner" could be said as "Mewwy wants cuwwie for dinna"
Apocalypse Now but all the music has been replaced with late Aerosmith, Tag Team, Whitney Houston, and for some reason Sting over the credits
that music from nineteen ninety three is as old today as music from ninety sixty eight was in nineteen ninety three
yet another puff piece that ends in madness
everybody 's talking about Matthew McConaughey massive huge harmonica with your mouth full, I can't hear what they say
everybody
's
talking about Matthew McConaughey massive huge harmonica with your mouth full
wanting Kento to fly to Cleveland to star in the remake of Steamboat Willie for his birthday
steaming through Skinner and The Superintendent
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by homo erectus and a protylopus
sitting through Skinner and The Superintendent
Protylopus
No one was really a big fan of that theme song
sitting through Illegal Alien vs Sexual Predator
whooping angels
reading the words "get out there and rape life by the blowhole"
reading the words "get out there and grab life by the pussy"
Stinky the Loner Dolphin
reading the words "get out there and be life by the face"
reading the words "get out there and eat life by the ass"
forgetting to RSVP Fecund F's baby shower
forgetting to wish your daughter a happy birthday, and also being on the road on weekends for like a month, so you'll probably just send her some flowers
forgetting to send a condolence card to Barren Pepsi P
forgetting to wish Juicy J a happy birthday
the city had two dueling mohels who knew the rituals of slaughter, but each was old and very sick, and too feeble to wield a butcher's knife
it was hard to grasp
the city had two dueling rabbis who knew the rituals of slaughter, but each was old and very sick, and too feeble to wield a butcher's knife
snip snap a cayman's sass
putting your thumb up a cayman's butthole
you're no good for me, I don't need nobody
damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an auto mechanic
not liking how that last regret sounds when you don't read it in Dr McCoy's voice
I'll gift you some lube on Amazon
pon farr has been hitting me pretty hard, but other than that I'm okay
blud u kno it
wondering if YOU'RE sick again
wondering if you're sick again
atropine
Crews remain on the scene at this time due to the complex nature of the rescue and agencies are working together to free the individual
wait no twenty four shit I am bad at counting
pretending to be fourteen on the internet
being sixty nine when the Vulcans cum
fried rice kults
idle firetrucks
drier fuck islet
red truck is life
being eighty three when the Vulcans arrive
afterwards you're not too sure who to thank
Diana Dors has been dead for a while
I think they were in the guy's garage
standing at the entrance of a restaurant with Diana Dors
Police found three submachine guns, two pistols, ammunition, a silencer, and homemade gunpowder, along with an envelope labelled "bad guys," with names, addresses, and car registration numbers of former colleagues and NHS managers he blamed for his dismis
He also used synthesized sounds from an iOS application, ThumbJam, and played saxophone despite having only a rudimentary knowledge of the instrument
kissing DIANA FLUCK
kissing Richard Dawson
chiefly building bridges with Jeff Bridges
I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space
Bogorad's syndrome
you are going to love my sack
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the hand up a gay man's ass trope
I've got a sack of 'em someplace
you first
SHOW ME THE BUTTS!
I like bigger butts and I cannot lie
bombad butts
we're gonna need a bigger butt
there's always a bigger butt
there's always butts
best strut, eh
there's butts
The Buttress
having an ankle owie
having an Uncle Owen
pitching a magazine slash website aimed at people who like puns, asses, and unsupported opinion presented with the same importance as provable fact, Buns & IMO
Stevie Wonder's Thought Crime Lover
Lydia is usually about half pissed off
Doris Mann is very upset
closest to the bone
drive boy dog boy
having an Uncle Ono
Nasim Aghdam, who had been reported missing, had said YouTube was discriminating against her animal rights and vegan videos
you're an imcompetent traitor, but I must say you steam a good ham
Onaconda Farr
Steamed Hams but it's Megatron and Starscream from Transformers
sand in an eh man's robogina
sand up an eh man's ass
lending your ass to some assless chaps
lending your ass to a dishonest gorilla
putting the ass in ass gorilla
putting the arsa in sarsaparilla
Canadisassans
putting the sass in Canadian
winning a pants by hitting on seventeen
nose shitting ten even
winning at snap by hitting on seventeen
wanting to make a joke about the Youtube shooting and slow loading times but not being able to get the wording just right
hitting on seventeen
I don't, actually
putting the mist in Misty, if you know what I mean
putting the BROCK in Kardashian
putting the ash in Kardashian
Kim Canasanddian
Lando Canasanddian
Canasanddians
YouTube Headquarters Shooting Colon Female Suspect Dead, Four Victims Confirmed
taking the sand out of Canadian
taking the ass out of Cardian
taking the piss out of Mii twice
being twenty one
When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed into a useless fat sack of Kento
wondering what it's like to be a useless fat sack of Kento
it's the eye of the walrus, it's the thrill of the fuck, rising up to the scrotum of Chris Lydon
killing the California tits
rising up, FAT to the MIDDLE
rising up, GAY to the BOTTOM
rising up, straight to the top
violence does not behoove us, unless we are being attacked by horses
Boater hoops the chief, drive
Hooper drives the boat, chief
wanking like whatever Vulcans evolved from once every seven years
putting the ass in Cardassian
what's YOUR excuse
it's pon farr time, I'll die if I don't
you're the one playing Vulcan Love Slave III all weekend in the holosuite
which again is something that would probably only be fun to watch as a teenager
with SICK BURNS
wanting to watch clever videos where teens make like they're going to blow each other per Rainbow Party hysteria, then totally destroy the gullible idiots who've become hysterical about and or sought out specifically that kind of thing
I also kind of want to fuck the Spice Girls
yeah but like twenty years ago when I was one
so basically you're saying you to want to watch videos of teenagers blowing each other
kind of wishing the hysteria about Rainbow Parties had happened in the age of the smartphone, because apparently people will do any dumb thing
the condom snorting challenge
Naked and Petrified HG
Naked and Afraid XL
respectin' the chain o'command
The beeeees refer to Steamgypt as "the FUCK! of Ham"
rrr, Han
the day that has to end
The One Where Ounter Loves Aachel
ounter
we should ounter ourselves lucky Saavik only had two breasts, I guess
never thinking twice about it at the time but as an adult thinking that it's pretty fucking weird Saavik has sex with jailbait Spock just to get him to calm the fuck down, and then ends up pregnant, but then thinking yeah, that's Gene Roddenberry alright
like, the non pon farr stuff is just a topless chick doing sudoku or something, and the pon farr stuff is a chick getting an anal gang bang from like a dozen Klingons
wondering if there are two distinct varities of Vulcan porno, one for pon farr and one for non pon farr
delicious hoarse wimpy centipedes
Steamed Hamo Extraneus
mmm, Ham
The Bible refers to Egypt as "the land of Ham"
the biblical name Ham bears no relationship at all to the notion of blackness and as of now is of unknown etymology
fuck marry kill, Hamo Extraneus, Kevin Bacon, Jek Tono Porkins
Elaine Kramer Newman Shitstorm
Arvel Crynyd getting too much ham from Hamo Extraneus not getting stiff when wet
Arvel Crynyd getting too much ham from Hamo Extraneus
not getting stiff when wet
Arvel Crynyd
getting too much ham from Hamo Extraneus
adding a new image to the comments on one three four one five eight but not bumping it because of course why
Not only no, but HELLLLLLLL NO
fleeing se
seeing elf
Hamo Extraneus, Republic bureaucrat
Hamo Extraneus
All my twigs and flourishing shoots are broken
Spur a Jade a Question, and he'll Kick ye an Answer
Eine Kleine Nachtshitstorm
einen rechten Shitstorm
Mehr ist auf den Werbeplakaten der Krankenkasse DAK nicht zu sehen, und doch bieten sie genug Anlass fur einen rechten Shitstorm
Anfang Februar brennen sich Worte wie diese in mein Gedachtnis
the death of Susan Powell
you need to remind yourself that demanding common decency is not a radical act
Dressed in excess colon people put on all their clothes in pictures
screwing a toaster with Major Frank Burns
eating a lot of French toast with Major Frank Burns
oh god I'm still talking
you are a thing
specifically, you
things are looking up
anal, you got me on my knees, anal
always forgetting that the palindrome of anal is lana
Close It, Anal
Callin' Oates
eating that whole thing of hot smilax soup and smiling for the camera
giving up Shania Twain for the sake of a partner
grinding up Shania Twain to make your bread
wanting to make Deanna Troi a four cheese pizza for her birthday
grinding up Shania Twain
cheating on Shania Twain
beating up Sharia Twain
beating off Shania Twain
eating out Shania Twain
eating in Shania Twain
ruthlessly eating Ruth Rendell's ham in Rendlesham
being in Shania Twain
being Shania in twain
being sliced in twain
cheating on them two hundred and fifty seven times, apparently
oo mox
bottoming for April National in Sexual Assault Awareness IV
being passed over
having dinosaur sex with a titceratops
walking a titrope
titles
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a tit trope
Trump declares April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month
your tytslexia flaring up
not getting tits
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Titlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Titlink
regrets about pony tits
KENTITS used MILK DRINK! LYDWORM fainted!
Kentits
meeting Brian Titters
sucking her left one until she had a breasttits
anything about tits
using the word "waffletastits"
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about tits
rubbing one out in the tits at church
Neopalpa donaldtrumpi
People Encouraging Niceness In Society
Peener Ikedas
do you like Pina Ikedas, and getting caught in the rain
Kolon Ikeda
superkentonorrheaexpialidocious
Man has 'world's worst' superkentonorrhea
lending your bees to an honest bee servicer
Titty Mouspads, Twi'lek stripper
theft of honest services
Ikeda Colon The Son of a Legend Returns Homo
Titty Mouspads, hooker with a heart of gold
titty mouspads
Ikeda Colon The Son of a Legend Returns Home
being unprepared for an unforgettable truncheon
beating off for an unforgettable luncheon
Dundee Colon The Son of a Legend Returns Home
beating off unprepared for an unforgettable luncheon
eating unprepared for an unforgettable luncheon
being unprepared for an unforgettable luncheon
assberg, dead inside
assberg, dead ahead
it's the whole iceberg thing
objects in Kento's rear may be smaller than they appear
objects in Kento's rear view may be larger than they appear
Kento's Grindr REAR VIEW
Kento's pro girlfriend, snip snap
Kento's pro beard
Kento's pro girlfriend
Kento's Grindr profile
a burly, oily alien trader
Zjod
why, are you going to marry her
why, are you going to kill her
gotta go fast
I would fuck your daughter
trick questions
fuck marry kill, an intelligent good looking A list actor at the height of their fame, the girl you knew as a teenager who was probably your girlfriend if you'd been smart enough to realise it, a beautiful woman young enough to be your own daughter
fuck marry kill, the slim double D cup blond national merit scolar cellist, the huge breasted poker playing seventeen year old bikini model goth, the French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson
Kento's Mustache Miles account
Kento has 'world's most popular' rear
fuck marry kill, Marcelline from Adventure Time, Ellie D from Cherry, an adventurous LED
Kento has 'world's worst' rear
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with your scanties
putting "frozen candy bars" between your thighs to melt them
putting frozen candy bars between your thighs to melt them
Superman has 'world's worst' gonorrhoea
my arse is not that small, signed, Kento Ikeda
Supergonorrhoeaworldsworstexpialidocious
my arse is not that big
shooting an elephant in your scanties
cleaning your house in scanties
cladding your house in scanties
the CSI effect
embalming me, my sweet embalmable you
we have not and will not read him the fan letters or share the photos of scantily clad teenage girls
Man has 'world's worst' supergonorrhoea
just kind of assuming that Carrie Fisher has a colossal, undulating, flatwormlike penis
Chewis Dong, Puddle of Mudd support act
ganache in the ashcan
starting to think "heading" is just something your computer says when it wants to eat a dickload
starting to think "heading" is just something your computer says when it wants to be a dickload
starting to think "loading" is just something your computer says when it wants to be a dickhead
Andre the Giant has a cloaca
finding the upper limit of your pc's crash recovery
It is metastasizing rapidly out of North Charleston
Qui Gon Gym
Hanajinn Sandspeeder
just kind of assuming that Harrison Ford has a four headed penis like Anakin, da
just kind of assuming that Harrison Ford has a four headed penis like an echidna
the good relations that the country maintains with the United Kingdom, with the rest of the states of the European Union, and other nations
just kind of assuming that Han has a collapsible corkscrew dick like some kind of duck
Stay Ways
just kind of assuming that Han has a cloaca
Star Ways
trying out Chewie's lipstick
it's very far awar
just generally assuming that cloacas are far more common among nonhuman species in the galaxy far, far awar
thinking about the fact that Chewie's dong is just kind of hanging right out there in the open, concealed only by a bit of fur
some hired goons said don't write no more letters to Mr Fallon
you should send that joke to Jimmy Fallon, make twenty bucks
seeing a sign that said "Baby on board" and thinking that it was stupid, but then rationalizing that Trump is on lots of boards so how hard can it be
Republicans conflicted
Planned Parenthood shut down after tweeting about Rihanna
Planned Parenthood called for Disney princess 'who's had an deletion' in now aborted tweet
Planned Parenthood called for Disney princess 'who's had an abortion' in now deleted tweet
really wanting to hear more of the details of that case
Mr Rey will have to explain what it is about his French heritage that would result in behaviour that people misinterpret as a violation of workplace standards of acceptable conduct
Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff
slow fucking Firefox
the endless treadmill where Firefox will release an update that slows the fuck out of it, then relase an update that makes it normal again a few months later, then relase another slow as fuck update a few months after that
The tests turned out to be far more difficult to conduct than you might think
wondering what it was like for Kento, sitting through the Emoji Movie waiting for the walrus to come
bilking lint out of Bill Clinton
welcome to Tinder
butterfly, I hardly know 'er!
a butterfly is but a fly
bandlength
bandgirth
that for some reason pigglywiggly dot com rangeblocks your entire ISP, possibly because you're in Europe and their IT people could not foresee what possible need you would have to drain their bandwidth
getting steamy on Knights of the Old Republic and enjoying Star Wars more than you have since you age was in single digits
pigbearfood
betting on food in a man vs food cage match
a bustier, hippier busty, credit grubbing cantina rat
a busty, credit grubbing cantina rat
baby elephant walk of shame
he was also waiting for the walrus emoji to appear on screen
wondering what it was like for Kento, sitting through the Emoji Movie waiting for the walrus to show up
he gets the mustache every day lenny face with mustache
I don't see how else he's going to get a beard
nah, he's a total size queen, he only goes for walruses and elephant seals
Kento's mistaken excitement about the song "sea lion woman"
wondering what it would be like to build a GRAVELER out of rejected copies of your resume and have it terrorize the people that refused to hire over the years for petty reasons
grounding younglings for XP
he has a magic lasso, if you know what I mean
wondering what superpowers Senior Man has
huffing Jeff Lynne's bedlinens while he's in bed in 'em
grinding not just the men but the women and children too for XP
grinding younglings for XP
grinding Jedi for XP
getting Knights of the Old Republic on Steam and enjoying Star Wars more than you have since you age was in single digits
that Kento is a state achieved by osmosis
It's very unlikely that Senor Colt, MD would be officiating a greeting, not to mention a slap, between President Donald Trump and the mayor of Mexico City
It's very unlikely that Mr Stone Cold would be officiating a greeting, not to mention a slap, between President Donald Trump and the mayor of Mexico City
man I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
also known as a no buster
no titties
notities
apparently favoring Senior Man over Boy every time, which implies that Kento is a state achieved by osmosis
mygoodness dot mit dot edu
saying "now THIS is doing crap!" while doing something other than crap
saying "now THIS is doing crap!" while doing something other than podracing
saying "now THIS is codraping!" while doing something other than podracing
saying "now THIS is podracing!" while being Eiffel Towered by Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen
saying "now THIS is podracing!" while doing something other than podracing
Bod an Deamhain
the Devil's Arse
tarring and feathering penises with Dick Clark
hammering penises with Dick Pound
carbon copying penises with CC Peniston
I'd like to but Kento won't get in the bucket
launching a ninety kg projectile three hundred meters
linking penises with Dick Cheney
maybe a little bit foul
still thinking Marty McFly could have banged Lorraine back in the fifties if it meant that she never ended up with George McFly and Marty was never conceived, no harm no foul
I am gonna haunt you in the ASS
I think that's how it works
fuck future you, marry present you then take out a huge insurance policy, kill past you then collect it all as you are erased from history
fuck marry kill, past me, present me, future me
fuck past me, kill future me, seems like I'm wedded to present me already
fuck marry kill, past you, present you, future you
Deep Space IX shut down after Rihannsu tweets about it
the Romulans refer to their own race as the "Rihannsu
it's been a long road, gettin' Eiffel Towered by Scott Bakula and a horta
it really is an assmebly of medidogs
it really is an assembly of demigods
two hundred thousand young Barack Obamas are ready with a million more well on the way
being compromised to a permanent end
drinking like a slog and a half of rape tirade in two days
not having much room for shiitake mushrooms since your shi tzu took a shit in them
drinking like a litre and a half of grape soda in two days
haidinger's brush
holding on to the night
being the one person in the world who may actually be able to give Donald Trump a fatal heart attack just by speaking
begun, the Clone War has
Obama envisions creating 'a million young Barack Obamas' during speech in Japan
wanting to make Willy Wonka a Wonker Wiener for his birthday
that the Wonker Wiener Company is riddled with incompetence
he's still a shitbag and he won't save us, but at least we'll have a degree of honesty at last
once being offered a threesome by two very drunk student nurses and turning them down because you had a girlfriend who you'd been seeing for a few weeks at that point
Not cheating is the core of what it means to be British
I lost my social skills a while ago but now I feel them coming back
I come, I see, I conquer
bottoming for will i am's kin in nothing but a big bag of skin VII
hooting at will i am's kin with William Hootkins
the Droid hiatus on the Wombats
wombathiatus
whataboutism
the Droid attack on the Wookiees
making a joke out of your butt eating by bhut jolokia peppers
fuck marry kill, Laura Dern but she exclusively does fisting, Courtney Cox but she's a tiny little woman and crawls inside you, Jewel but she envelops you between her boobs where you will be slowly digested over a thousand years
cuneesi
impressing a dinosaur to try and fist Laura Dern
fisting a dinosaur for fun and profit
fisting a dinosaur to try and impress agenty fiftyseven
fisting a dinosaur to try and impress Laura Dern
still wondering where that mental image you have of Laura Dern with your arm shoulder deep up a trike's ass came from trying to eat Laura Dern's ass
trying to be Laura Dern's ass
still wondering where that mental image you have of Laura Dern with your arm shoulder deep up a trike's ass came from
trying to eat Laura Dern's ass
I like Chaetopterus pugaporcinus and I cannot lie
resembling Risa rape, Number One
resembling Risa rape
resembling a pig's rear
Chaetopterus pugaporcinus
having escaped the seminar set up by someone you might have known at school even though you're not really sure and come so far toward the helicopter that can rescue you but in the end it doesn't really matter
they do move in networks
pitching a movie in which scientists create an occluded web profile of every individual and use it to recreate old crushes, relationships, relatives, colleagues, and so on but it goes wrong and they multiply and try to eat Laura Dern's ass, LinkedIn Park
going elbow deep in Armin Shimerman
finding out that Monkey Bread exists at two in the morning and knowing both that you'll never try any and you'll have forgotten it even exists when you wake up
shimmying your arm into Armin Shimerman
in our swimming hole there were salamanders, we called them water dogs
pale as a candle and your face is hot
it could be normal but it isn't quite, could make you want to stay awake at night
having a thing where if you know you're going to put on odd socks you put the one which you think has more red hue in it, even if neither is red, on your left foot, because of the way navigation lights work
actually having to confess to having a weird personal prohibition on wanking on maggie's farm no more
actually having to confess to having a weird personal prohibition on eating poutine between sandown friday and sandown saturday, eh
actually having to confess to having a weird personal prohibition on masturbation between sandown friday and sandown saturday, eh
actually having to confess to having a weird personal prohibition on masturbation between sundown friday and sundown saturday, oy vey
I mean uh wanking on the weekends in Russia
actually having to confess to having a weird personal prohibition on masturbation between sundown friday and sundown saturday
wanking on the weekends
in Russia
walruses Eiffel Towers you
if walruses Eiffel Towers you you're fat Asian and gay
if you explode through a lava tube there's apocalypse in Pompei
Kento ki
Kento dies again
Kento kills again
if you do do an exotic poo there's a log in old Bombay bay
Factory worker died after colleague inserted industrial air hose in his bottom in 'prank gone wrong'
Brad Makes Ki
Lettice Rowbotham
if you could do an exotic poo there's a bog in old Bombay
Brad Makes Kimchi and Walks Here
Brad Makes Kimchi and Pukes in Bed
Brad Makes Kimchi
Brad Makes Fermented Hot Sauce
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent SEVEN OF NINE
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent ferengi
Toys R Us shuts down after Rihanna tweets about it
Toys R Us founder dies days after chain announced it will shut down
but what about her emails
the "lone hacker" who took credit for providing WikiLeaks with stolen emails from the Democratic National Committee, was in fact an officer of Russia's military intelligence directorate
the goddamn deli
tricking a strai
the death of Sylvi
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnifi
doing Harambe jokes ei
not hooking up wi
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get ki
not getting ci
love me bi
being do
eating bi
being bi
beeping in the diney brine
dining in the briny deep, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge, lenny face coming for the freak, staying for the food, say no more
dining in the briny deep, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge, lenny face
coming for the freak, staying for the food
dining in the briny deep
naisekandmine
coming all within
coming all without
not getting the whole appeal of crabs, lobsters, and other crustaceans, because they're more like enormous aquatic spiders than anything that should ever exist in the surface world
Pokemon Big Prawns and Tiny Lobsters
they're more like big prawns than tiny lobsters of all the boys I've known, and I've known some
there's no place like home, there's no place like home
The Hoipolloi used "fantastic motion" as well as "blasts of raw electricity and explosions" to brainwash the thetans into accepting the Gorilla Goals, with the goals including "To End", "To be Dead", "To be Asleep", "To be Solid", "To be Sexual" and so on
it's time for pyromaniacs to burn stuff by the tracks naked flames and smoke that's black fire tenders racing back pyromanie totally insaney firebomb trainy pyromaniacs, those are the facts
not being a very good vegan but being a dab hand at repeating old stale jokes that weren't that funny to begin with
vegan Mighty Quinn's
watching basically a long ad for Mighty Quinn's and really wanting to try it but living several thousand miles from the nearest and thinking it's probably not as great as you imagine it to be anyway
having three weeks to hit an open sub deadline but suddenly feeling like everything you write is shit and losing the will to edit it
they're more like big prawns than tiny lobsters
of all the boys I've known, and I've known some
kind of wishing instead of kiddie fight clubs Brad Pitt had put his energy into a webstore and brand that constantly hammered on about keeping your nuts fresh with steaming and Tibetan nut anchors and whatever other crap he could tout
being stung in the vagina for some kind of mental thing or other
It's true that I never received my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs, though in my defense there's a lot of paperwork required
Bee sting acupuncture once touted by Gwyneth Paltrow kills woman in Spain
a blogger who identified himself as Mark Conditt of Pflugerville wrote that gay marriage should be illegal, called for the elimination of sex offender registrations, and argued in favor of the death penalty
Nude homo rapes nanny
The idea of having Saavik bond with a young Spock via pon farr was suggested by Gene Roddenberry
Raynaud's phenomenon
drawing a picture of Patrick Stewart signing the check while Gates McFadden cums on his scalp
to preserve in peace what we won in war
It is possible that the real Moe never defeated him and the Moe that appears in later episodes is actually the imposter
Small daily doses of Viagra could 'significantly reduce' colorectal cancer risk
I'd probably fuck Finger Mouse
fuck marry kill, Minnie Mouse, Finger Mouse, Goth Mouse
just now getting that Bart prank calling Moe's and Moe threatening to kill him is because he's a bartender
sly boner tits are pretty great, the disappointment is entirely understandable
kind of wanting some gasoline nuts but also kind of not wanting the hassle of dealing with them or the inevitable disappointment that they're more like brawn pigs than sly boner tits
kind of wanting some langoustines but also kind of not wanting the hassle of dealing with them or the inevitable disappointment that they're more like big prawns than tiny lobsters
xena lot of things, what's it to you
Xena Colon Warrior Princess in Space
seeing a picture of Cleopatra MMDXXV and being once again as blown away that they actually made that as you were the first time you saw it
Doberman named next head of NATO
Pitbull to speak at United Nations about global water crisis
attempting the heftiest carp
hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race
Hefty Carp Attempts A Gecko's Toe Smut Theorem
Pastry Chef Attempts To Cremate Mute Gooks, Eh
Pastry Chef Attempts To Shoot Meerkat Cum, Gee
Pastry Chef Attempts To Meet Cum Hooker Gates
Pastry Chef Attempts To Make Homo Gut Secrete
Pastry Chef Attempts To Make Goth Mouse Erect
Pastry Chef Attempts To Make The Goose Rectum
Pastry Chef Attempts To Make Gourmet Cheetos doing a big poo in an igloo
Pastry Chef Attempts To Make Gourmet Cheetos
doing a big poo in an igloo
fuck marry kill, a pony, a waffle, Kento
fuck marry kill, Harry, the Hendersons, Littlefoot from The Land Before Time
fuck marry kill, Harry Mason, Gene Hunt, Earthlink
running out of homos in the bathroom at church
running out of homos
running out homos
I'd probably marry Rachel
fuck marry kill, Monica except she has Ross, Chandler, and Joey's penises, Rachel except she has Gunther's penis, Phoebe except she has no genitals whatsoever
The making of Madness hard candy and the Stroop effect in sugar
F#R#I#E#N#D#S# on food stamps
F#R#I#E#N#D#S# with benefits
just being kind of amazed that Jack Black ever found work
watching the YouTube video "Year one Funny Parts" and thinking firstly this title is a significant misrepresentation of the contents and secondly why does a lOO minute comedic feature presentation have fewer than three minutes of funny parts
drawing a picture of Matthew Perry eat too much finger! eat too little finger! eat right amount finger!
drawing a picture of Matt LeBlanc eat too much finger!
wishing for the opportunity to peg Matt LeBlanc with the final finger of the monkey's paw, but then the finger bent ominously down and you had to fist him with it instead and it was fun but it wasn't what you wanted
and one of the fingers of the monkey's paw ominously bends down
making a pact with Satan to give you great comic timing and a body so fabulous nobody will ever notice your great comic timing
Stormy Daniels was "truthful about having unprotected vaginal intercourse with Donald Trump in July MMVI," according to a polygraph test report from MMXI
wondering what the details of the pact that young Jennifer Aniston made with Satan were, but suspecting they were pretty much "you get to be the most popular, highest paid actress on TV, but your career will end in nothing but bottomlessly shitty romcoms"
running out of nomos
running out of mana
it's a ball new hole game
a crossover remake of Words With Friends and Tinder, Baths With Friends
taking a bath alone in Barcelona
something something Kit Harington something Kento something the Aristocrats
having lunch with Lydia Lunch in Lydia
Snow closes Eiffel Tower again
drawing a picture of Minnie Mouse be too much finger!
expanding your spandex wang bands
drawing a picture of Minnie Mouse eat too much finger!
Minnie Mouse Slimming Exercise Because Eat Too Much! Finger Family Song Nursery Rhymes
Minnie Mouse Angry With Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse uses colorful gum to heal Funny Story
stinking clouds
bikini biking viking Vicki
United States v Article Consisting of Fifty Thousand Cardboard Boxes More or Less, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls
I don't remember Minnie having tits that nice
Pups save cartoon
Children Learning video
nice video for kids
Cartoon for children
Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes Mickey Mouse Prank! Minnie Mouse Rescue Mickey Mouse From Demon
putting this apple on your head
Rice Capital of America
a very long standing and ill founded prejudice against the employment of women as agents
Crowley
smallchested busted butt nuns
impregnating whores
naming your band "Wangspau Banday"
impinging whoms
whingeing Poms
spewing in cases with Kevin Spacey
drop by Kento's nips for some free bleach
I'm back in Kodiak for a month
wondering if you're going through a lot of cocaine lately because you're always around
you can't just drop everything to focus on playing video games for a living
lovo ond lot doo
wangs you were bond, and your buns were a busted nut
naming your Bond "James"
making a poo meringue boomerang
it was either her or the family of law abiding cats
she was jaywalking, she deserved it
Self driving car kills pedestrian for the first time
flaming your burned wang
a fat, gay cloth Asian, baggy, and a bit loose at the seams
fuck marry kill, Bagpuss, Madeleine, Professor Yaffle
a saggy, old cloth cat, baggy, and a bit loose at the seams
it doesn't count if you don't wear the suit
finally bagging you a homer
wanging your named bans
banning your named wangs
naming your banned wangs
naming your bangs "Wand"
'Snorkeling' Walrus Charms Twitter
we'll sell tickets
I think he'd probably die first but it's Kento so who cares
I figured I'd just pump him full of bleach and see if that worked
wondering how you would go about accomplishing that
wanting to make Kento lactate bleach for his birthday
wanting to give Jewel a Kodiak boob spoon for her birthday, meow
wanting to give Kento a New Jersey vegan spoon for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a rusty old Jersey meat hook for his birthday
When a girl gets off the bed after intercourse and the guy puts his index and middle finger into her vagina and thumb into the anus and pulls her back to the bed
Having sex with a girl, then having your friend burst out of the closet with a camera
wanting to give Kento a New Jersey meat hook for his birthday
they don't call him Tit Bet Wand for nothing, eh
bottoming for Macho Pikachu in Hidden City Lightning Rod VII
Machu Picchu sex show shut down after Rihanna tweets about it
Tourists kicked out of Machu Picchu for being the very best like no one ever was
DC council member apologizes after blaming sunshine on gay lollipops controlling rainbows
DC council member apologizes after blaming snowfall on Jewish bankers controlling climate
you're famous now, live up to the responsibility of your infamy
A transatlantic restroom dalliance aboard a Virgin Atlantic flight ended with the woman involved banned from ever again flying on the airline
Tourists kicked out of Machu Picchu for mooning ancient ruins
nomming your wang bands
naming your wang bands
Chris Lydon's bizarre, banded, earthwormlike wang
naming your wang "Bands"
Pokemon Assault and Battery
Washington Man Commits Assault with a Tire Iron Over Pokemon Go Gym Battle
fuck Truckasaurus because she has dumps like a truck and I want to find out what that whole dinosaur sex thing is about, marry Aisha Tyler because she probably has the most money, kill Kristen Johnston because she's most likely a dude
Our committee was not charged with answering the collusion idea
fuck marry kill, Kristen Johnston, Aisha Tyler, Truckasaurus
being woken up with the words "now it's Daniel's turn!"
they don't call him the Wet Bandit for nothing
I guess there's less room for disappointment that way
I have no preconceived notions about Daniel Stern's felatio skills or lack thereof
I reckon his purty mouth is inexperienced
I reckon he's pretty inexperienced
he'll expect more the second time
given that I've already fucked Daniel Stern I guess round two might not be so bad
fuck marry kill, Daniel Stern, Joe Pesci, Kristen Johnston
damn, Daniel, back at it again with the slow hands
you just have to go through with giving Daniel Stern a long, slow handy
dude, do you even know how this game works, you get to kill one of them
I really don't want to either marry or fuck Stormy Daniels and I'm struggling to see the appeal of doing either
fuck marry kill, Stormy Daniels, Daniel Stern, Stormy Weather
Lady Maga
Lady Faga
naming your kid "Ga"
naming your kid "Fa"
naming your kid "Asia"
naming your kid "Indiana"
naming your dog "Indiana"
naming your band "Dongs"
naming your band "Dings"
wanting to shell Kento's chest for his birthday
wanting to make Kento busted nuts buns for his birthday
shellchested busted nut buns
unbusted shell chestnuts
unshelled busted chestnuts
unshelled ghost chestnuts
unshelled water chestnuts
Donald Trump's seasonal affective disorder
that's what I said, signed, Dickgirl Rachel Stevens
this is harder than I realised
thinking about it Axl Rose probably does know the best bakeries in any town you go to
fuck marry kill, Jewel, Natalie Portman, late era Axl Rose
I mean, you get to kill one of them
being asked to choose between a nice old guy who's probably got a lot of fun stories to tell, a literal goddess who got hit with the beautiful stick, and a porn star slash prostitute who's had sex with Donald Trump
One BB Frank
fuck marry kill, Stormy Daniels, Anthony Daniels, Storm from X Men
Three AA Peniston
Five CC Peniston
that apparently Stormy Daniels turned Sou'wester Davids
that apparently Stormy Daniels turned Japanese yesterday
that apparently Stormy Daniels turned milk yesterday
that apparently Stormy Daniels turned sixty nine yesterday
banging me in the back of some Guy Ritchie's car like one of your material girls
banging me in the back of some rich guy's car like one of your French girls
you're taking your life in your hands even considering whether to fuck a cygnet if you ask me, when the Swan Police find out they'll make you sorry
it's a cygnet
I guess my answer would depend on whether the duckling was actually a cygnet or just an ugly duckling
fuck marry kill, an ugly mouse, an ugly duckling, the song Ugly by Bubba Sparxxx
fuck marry kill, AA Milne, BB King, CC Peniston
that apparently Stormy Daniels turned thirty nine yesterday
calling CeCe Peniston "CC"
that one of the nice things about this whole train wreck is that you get to see Stormy Daniels's tits in your newsfeed regularly
calling Pol Pot "PP"
being unable to take Buffyologists seriously, as everybody knows it's junk and Buffyonomy is the real deal
Fathers Who Watch in Buffy & Angel
Buffyology
refusing to believe that "'LA's got it all' Colon Hybridity and Otherness in Angel's Postmodern City" is anything other than an elaborate parody slash satire
eating that whole thing of prawns and doing farts that smell like caramel popcorn all night
super classy educations
remembering back in university when you were forced to write all those probably thirty five essays and a short dissertation which even you knew at the time was awful and you still got your literature degree
remembering back in university when you were forced to write all those postmodernist critique essays as part of your English major and thinking "when the hell I am ever going to use this stuff" and realizing that some people decided to write about Buffy
an academic publication relating to the fictional Buffyverse established by TV series, Buffy and Angel
I'd probably kill the IBF, not because of like a bloodsports thing, just because I'd kinda like to fuck that sexy FBI in the surf sometime, and I could easily spend the rest of my life nerding out with the BFI
fuck marry kill, the FBI, the BFI, the IBF
I don't know where I'm supposed to get a raincoat for that
one can just sit on the other's shoulders
either way it's a risk
there's no comfortable medium between reaching up on tiptoes and standing on a stepladder
you should give the midgets a call
I just haven't found time to shave lately
bringing hairy back
Mistyen spectres
Ashen spectres
Brocken spectres
crippling Luigi's nuts
cupping Luigi's nuts
there's noodles on his spaghetti already
touching Kento's spaghet
Nintendo has revealed Luigi's nuts and fans are going penis noodles on spaghetti
protesting for stricter gun control claws, that's a sniktin'
making a old woman cry by calling her an ugly moose, eh, i'm looking at you, old canadian lady with alzheimer's
protesting for stricter gun control laws, that's a paddlin'
Arkansas Teen Confirms Mother's Account of School 'Paddling' After Gun Protest
Bhathal has now lost Batman six times
Karate Family Toni and Guy
Karate Family Samuel and Guy
I am officially dead, although I'm alive
I took all of his money, and I wore them home to mommy
I took all of his money, and I wore his pretty panties
onewordcolonbuttplugs
one word colon buttplugs
twink diversifying your tegumental portfolio to survive a bear market
cornering the market in prepuce futures
North Korean black market exports
wondering why the newborns have to be Korean
Nintendo has revealed Luigi's nuts and fans are going penis
noodles on spaghetti
Nintendo has revealed Luigi's penis and fans are going nuts
a serum that happens to be derived from the foreskin of Korean newborns
potatoes on pizza
putting bees in men's urethras with Holly Willoughby
not having any good answers
feeling like the place it went wrong was when everything became an unmoderated comments section
really missing the days when internet cranks wrote in all caps and didn't reply other than to shout tangentially related things at you, and wishing Russia had learned to do it that way instead of frog memes and all the other shit they do
Madam Tess, Eh
Mashed Meats
Shamed Meats
Ashamed Stem
Smashed Team
Marlin Blog
Bill Morgan
Steamed Hams but Skinner and Chalmers only say "steamed hams"
Steamed Hams but Superintendent Chalmers only says "steamed hams"
Steamed Hams but Chalmers won't stop yelling "SEYMOUR"
Steamed Hams but each new line of dialogue triggers every one that came before it
you're so Chewie I'd sign my own life debt if you asked
fuck marry kill, Lou Gehrig, Stephen Hawking, a bucket of ice
the Persian navy rowed into the GAYS of Salamis and tried to block both entrances
wow, thanks for noticing
you're so fit I'd sign my own death warrant if you asked
There is nothing about this skinhead lesbian that impresses me and there is nothing that she has to say unless you're frothing at the mouth moonbat
coming out of your Wing Chun
"I didn't freeze, The Wing Chun came out," he said
Alexandra "Alex" Lovell is an English television presenter
Alex Lovell said his extensive video game playing made him lose his sex drive, leading his girlfriend to suspect him of infidelity and then allegedly attack him with a sword as he slept
look I know you're feeling down lately but that's just sad
taking out some chicken thighs and fucking em
the Persian navy rowed into the Straits of Salamis and tried to block both entrances lenny face
the Persian navy rowed into the Straits of Salamis and tried to block both entrances
drawing a picture of Xerxes and Themistocles whacking their salamis together
the Battle of Salamis
story of my life
maybe he didn't like that
I was staring like a moron at one of the smartest people alive
he was probably just pissed off at losing at poker to Number Two
perhaps as early as nineteen ninety four or five, but probably ninety six or seven
more than twenty years ago
A good spicy challenge strikes a balance between flavour and fear
The Matrix but Morpheus's sunglasses are CGI replaced with googly eyes in every scene
it was twenty years ago
I think he told me to fuck off
what did he say
that the first time you saw Stephen Hawking in Cambridge he was sitting on the street waiting for something and you stared at him as you walked past, because he was a big deal at the time, and he swore in robot at you
a hawk and Stephen Hawking adopting a hen
playing Pokemon Ball Torture with Tim Duncan
the death of Stephen Hawking
I like basketball if that's what you're asking me
Pokemon Cock and Ball Torture
the wikipedia article for Scrotal inflation
the surprise wasn't the only thing that was ruined
Cock and ball torture and closing the page
ruining the surprise
the parachute provides a constant drag, and a squeezing effect on the testicles
US Marine Attempts FBI Fitness Test, Fails Due to Inability to Surf
US Marine Attempts KOREAN ARMY PFT
Enraged Cougar in bedroom
some things should be a surprise when they happen
reading "Parachute" in the headings of the wikipedia article for Cock and ball torture and closing the page
Royal Marine Attempts US Marines Crayon Eating Test
US Marine Attempts Royal Marines Fitness Test
Upset Lynx in kitchen
the wikipedia article for Cock and ball torture
Cock Ring Blowout Kento
O Ring Blowout Kento
O Ring Magic Kento
Earring Magic Kento
Earring Magic Ken
if you hard, then you hard
Irelanr
Icelanc
Icelancic Office Shut Down After Rihanna Tweets About It
gluteofemoral adipose tissue exerts specific functional properties that are associated with an improved capacity to get brothers sprung
gluteofemoral adipose tissue exerts specific functional properties that are associated with an improved metabolic and cardiovascular risk profile
Icelandic Office Workers Forced To Ward Off Insatiable Dick Tourists
Women With Bigger Butts Are Smarter And Healthier, Study Says
Workers in Iceland forced to put up sign telling tourists their office is not a penis museum
knowing the date you last ate YOLOpenos
love and happiness
the FBI's gonna pay me to turf
the American Tiny Tiger Association
the American Tiny House Association
eating a meal and smoking a blunt with Emily Blunt
the sea was angry that day
remembering the last time you ate Jaylala's penis
I developed really bad hemorrhoids and woke up with my posterior clean and pink, meow
I developed really bad hemorrhoids and woke up with my posterior burning and sore, cheerio
I developed really bad hemorrhoids and woke up with my posterior burning and sore
He walked around the plane wearing only his robe, flashing the flight attendants, twirling his penis, and forcing the flight attendants to put their hands on his crotch
Rodney Alcala
turning prospective sexual partners Japanese, Chris Lydon
Charger prototype finding its way to Model S
Shaquem Griffin
knowing the date you last turned undead
fuck marry kill, your power, your pleasure, your pain
knowing the date you last turned Japanese
triple teaming the old 'dex
we've just about tripled the old dex's total
one hundred and thirty five thousand regrets
did you mean sexy
also sexist
thinking about it that's probably racist and I apologise
Jewish Men's Blood Pressure Is Cut Along With Their Foreskin
Black Men's Blood Pressure Is Cut Along With Their Hair
other evidence has shown that you and I are still alone
knowing the last time you ate jalapenos on a date
love is not a victory march
knowing the date you last were jalapenos
it can cut you like a knife
it's certainly not good to never exercise your emotions
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there
it feels good to cry sometimes
it could be worse, you could cry every time you hear "Can We Fix It"
I regret making you cry
I'm crying now
Slip Sliding Away is one of those songs with a mysterious power to make me cry whenever I hear it
bitter cold within
a bad day's when I lie in bed and think of things that might have been
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
oh, your hair is beautiful
I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever
the defenders of your health, crushing my hip and rolling around
If you ever wanna see my bumrush, BREAKOUT, before you get BEES
"Short Dick Man" by XX Fingers but every 'man' is a 'girl'
wondering how the suicide rate for Rick Astley fans compares with that of the general population for the period between two thousand seven and twelve
actually liking African't by Tootoot but the internet turned it into an ironic shitmeme so you can't enjoy it much
actually liking Africa by Toto but the internet turned it into an ironic shitmeme so you can't enjoy it much
steaming Jewel's hams
there's no such thing as a hamory, don't be silly, you silly goose
steaming that girl's breast plate from the communal hamory
Little Dickwomen
Please be certain that the girl's third speech be delivered in a sweet manner, as described
GRILLED Hams
writitng Steaminham Palace
writitng
Steaminham Palace
stealing that girl's breast plate from the communal armory
I'm just steamin' ham nude I'm just steamin' ham nude, yeah
I'm just suckin' ham nude I'm just suckin' ham nude, yeah
every time think about Lauren Mayberry
breast plates
writitng on your scanties in ass
Syrian Kurdish Winnipeggers protest violence in Syria, eh
writitng on your ass in scanties
facing on your sharp in writie
I shall join you in those impure thoughts
writitng on your face in sharpie
having impure thoughts about Lauren Mayberry
all girls are dickwomen
all women are dickgirls
normally heroin makes people lose weight
look, I don't know the origin of this whole dickgirl Jewel trope, everyone knows Rachel Stevens is the dickgirl in regret index lore, and Jewel just weighs a half ton
spooning Jewel's heroin
my hands are small I know but it makes my dick look bigger though
being chased by a mob of post apocalyptic mutants waving latex copies of Jewel's monstrous penis with which they intend to first beat you to death, then fuck you, then finally sacrifice you to their god, which is a half destroyed CD copy of Hands
still worth it
beating beaten to the ground and then beaten unconscious by Jewel's monstrous penis
still worth it
hitting yourself in the face with Jewel's zweihander
two handed
manipulating Jewel's election
Putin condemned for saying Jewel may have manipulated US election
Putin desperate bald old man with far weaker grip on power than most observers assume pulling out all the stops to win an election of all things
Putin condemned for announcing nuclear proliferation
Putin condemned for saying Jews may have manipulated US election
fodgot sponnors
fodgo
using the word "wofflotostoc"
Bonodoct Comborbotch
Stono Cold Stovo Ooston
Poxoo Fox
Chilly McFreeze
Pixie Lott
Pixee Fox
Spagg's balls
YYZ syndrome
The show was mostly improvised, and often consisted of little more than Spagg dancing nude while playing a guitar and singing
XYY syndrome
Smorfod Homs, hobbit
Smorfod Homs
With a new costume consisting of a Star Wars Stormtrooper helmet painted purple and covered in silver glitter, a pair of jeans and a large, black, puffy vest, Ottman attempted to make a dramatic entrance by crashing through the wall
smurfin your nutsack into a frenzy of ham play
Smurfed Hams
the SBI's gonna smurf me to smurf
the FBI's gonna pay me to stuff
drawing a picture of Ziz crying out in despair as it tries and fails to block out Kento's anus with its wingspan
running out of nude thong thong fluid and having to bust out the Rapola oil
for all your lubrication needs
Rapola oil
Canehla oil
perv
that I don't regret literally picking it as you read that
literally picking it as I read that
nosepicking fetishes
nosegaying fetishes
kill swans for obvious reasons, fuck walruses just to see what Kento sees in them, marry ponies cause I can't blow just once
I'm not going to buy a picture just because it has a funny title
fuck marry kill, walruses, swans, ponies
that walruses, ponies, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index
ponyblowing fetishes
noseblowing fetishes
you bought it, didn't you
France's Marie Jose Perec with her shorts up her bum, alongside Merlene Ottey
the Rapeseed Association of Canada chose the name "canola" to represent "Can" for Canada, and "ola" for oil
fuck marry kill, spooning Jewel's boobs, four giant white baps by Sainsbury's, Eccentrica Gallumbits the triple breasted whore of Eroticon Six
climbing a hill with Holly Willoughby and a wallaby
WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW WCW
Cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
Death Jazz Piss Funk
Fish repairs
Deleted Wikipedia articles submitted by insane people
taking Jewel's Alaskan sleeping bag, meow
Pete Sahut
When a girl slowly fingers her man's tip, then proceeds in a wild attempt to puncture her finger to the deepest caverns of his urinary tract
WCW Kento
The primary gameplay mode is called Hardcore Challenge
Miss Elizabeth appears as a playable character in WCW Nitro and WCW Backstage Assault
Ramit Inmah Ashol
let's be honest, it was more of a "drop" than a "stuff"
stuffing a potato into Kento's tailpipe for his birthday
you say potato, I say Kento, let's stuff the whole thing in
you say potato, I say Kento, let's call the whole thing off
sneezing FACTITIOUSES
there ant no party like a dickgirl party
S club party is one of s club's big hits ever and you know there ant no party like an s club party
sneezing fetishes
the FBI's gonna pay me to steam hams
being an influenza
eating an influencer
being an influencer
Curse of The Weggy Board
that's how we spawn
Thousands of erect limies may have been exposed to mumps at a national docent ho rape
Thousands of real SC deer may have been exposed to mumps at a national competition, eh
Thousands of cheerleaders may have been exposed to mumps at a national competition
the FBI's gonna pay me to take bones out of Adam
a rabbi suggested it was this bone that was taken out of Adam, and not an extra rib
I guess now you know my name's Samantha
hey, congrats
Roman Polanski's gonna pay me to be in child porn
Subway's gonna pay me to look at child porn
all the pizza, salad, and muffins you can handle
Jaws seems like a steady kind of guy, I'd probably marry him, fuck Pussy Galore, and kill Odd Job
fuck marry kill, Pussy Galore, Odd Job, Jaws
I'm just trying to be considerate
you don't have to tell me that
Pokemon Bursting with Flavour and Big on Value
Hungry Horse is lovely this time of year
porch sitting twenty four seven
sweet
the FBI's gonna pay me to be dogs
the FBI's gonna pay me to eat children
the FBI's gonna pay me to smurf
the FBI's gonna pay me to eat Tide Pods
the FBI's gonna pay me to look at child porn
Child Used Geek Informants On FBI Buy's Paid Squad To Flag Best Pornography
Wild otter attacks seventy seven year old Florida kayaker colon 'It didn't want to come off'
FBI Used Paid Informants On Best Buy's Geek Squad To Flag Child Pornography
Steamed Hams but its genderswapped erotic fanart
Steamed Hams but everything is steamed
they're labiadors
I know those women
Two women caught with PLATINUM TAVERNS in VAGINA at Chandigarh SPACEPORT
well, they'd have to be pretty big to fit that much gold in
not the small ones either
Two women caught with gold bars in rectum at Chandigarh airport
borealis burgers
Steamed Hams but Skinner simply asks the Superintendent if he could purchase fast food
kellie and pete
who wouldn't be
Tim Allen is 'Very Interested' in a "Homo Men Pee Rim TV" Reboot
Tim Allen is 'Very Interested' in a "Home Improvement" Reboot
the unsolved mysteries of Unsolved Mysteries
The woman said she identified the men immediately as from out of the area due to their "big eyes and facial expressions"
slamming Liam Bensson in the slim ass car door
getting Jack Burton's yogurt on your back
Youknow that you have been too long on YouTube if your watching this
Every time bridled, ill Trump says wow having second thoughts about doing porn
Every time Pitbull says Mr Worldwide having second thoughts about doing porn
Every time Pitbull says Mr Worldwide
having second thoughts about doing porn
she just forgot to wear it
another Utah institution has been compromised by British bikini models
Utah Bar Would Like To Know Why It Sent Boobs To Everybody This Evening
France to set age of sexual consent at XV after a cuter pyro
France to set age of sexual consent at XV after rape outcry
David Daradan
Tufty Terror
Steamed Hams but every word is a Google Image
Steamed Hams Inc
they're labradors
I know those dogs
dogs with bees in their balls and when they FUCK! they shoot bees at you
drawing a picture of Kento being FUCKED! by Chris Lydon and beeeeees
don't be FUCKED! by the beeees that she's got
the bullet rebounded out of the block and FUCKED! round our legs like an angry bee
the bullet rebounded out of the block and buzzed round our legs like an angry bee
Project TENTACLE
Project Habakkuk
working as a GM your whole life and then losing at Dungeons & Dragons to Tim Duncan
a couple of amphibians explore their surroundings and follow their primal instincts
a wolf in a trench coat enters and asks if he can join her
working as a filmmaker your whole life and then losing at the Oscars to Kobe Bryant
Hurt Locker, I hardly know 'er!
Gour Maker, I just met 'er pooing plutonium in the loo on Pluto
Gour Maker, I just met 'er!
pooing plutonium in the loo on Pluto
Bush's cover of Sugar, Sugar by The Archies
Gour Maker
brugse zwaantjes
Ani's Laboratories Ltd
what kid doesn't love Anu's surprise, signed, Roman Polanski
because there's like no chicks in that movie
wondering why we never did The Fart Knocker jokes when The Hurt Locker was a big deal
what kid doesn't love Anu's surprise
Anu's surprise
KIDS THROW A SURPRISE PARTY FOR THIS TEACHER THAT DIDN'T WANT ONE & IT ALL GOES WRONG!
having second thoughts about doing MB, and by the way, screw you, MB
having second thoughts about doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later
having second thoughts about doing Dallas
Cruel Anu's Thesis
Cruel Anu's Laboratories Ltd
getting a bite job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Bake N Bite
Anu's Bake N Bite
Anu's silk thread jewellery
Anu's Kitchen
Anu's Spa
I hear they're looking for some assmeblers
Anu's Cupcakes Castle
Maybe we'll have to give that a shot some day
Anu's Laboratories Ltd
fuck generalisations, kill phrases, marry platitudes
fuck marry kill, phrases, generalisations, platitudes
phrases, generalisations and platitudes
regrets about Ponyta blowing
good night sweet prince, and flights of fluffers sing thee to thy rest
the death of Billy Herrington
killing the California thrives
regrets about thrife wanting
Vibrant Body Company staged an online bra promotion as a front for human trafficking
her name is Rio and she snorts coke off her hand, throwing her guts up outside the Viper Room
you cast your spell, magic's running through me
husband privet
I feel nerves to ask my doc and even my husband privet has started to smell like my vagaga help please I have no itching I have no pain I have nothing but the smell HELP
I have a strong odor I don't know why it comes randomly when I feel nerves when it's to hot or just as soon as I get out of the shower I hate it I have tried so Mich stuff and it just doesn't go away
What's inside a Furby Connect
the world of Pokemon has different standards to our own
wondering the Glooms who are selected to take part in bloodsports for the enjoyment of Pokemon trainers are envied by those who are used for sexual gratification
he's gonna need something a lot more potent than alcohol to cover up that shame
drawing a picture of the pelican who serves as Fred Flintstone's fleshlight going home to his nest and hitting, in order, the bottle, his wife, and his kids when asked how work went
drawing a picture of the pelican who serves as Fred Flintstone's fleshlight being thrown across the room after finishing him off while muttering a sardonic "it's a living" from his dripping beak
it's a living
Finish Me, Elmo
Finish Me Elmo
You exude jiggy essence
little red monster, little blue balls
yeah, buthow many times do you think you'll actually get finished off
at least Elmo has handjobs to look forward to
better than being a Tickle Me Elmo, I guess
one day you could wake up dead and a Furby
If you put your finger in its urethra when it only has three batteries, then you place the fourth battery in at the same time, its eyes won't light up
If you put your finger in its mouth when it only has three batteries, then you place the fourth battery in at the same time, its eyes won't light up
When you turn the Furby on and tickle it instantly after it has greeted you, it will say "Tickle me more!" and sleep immediately after that
When starting up after years of not being used, some Babies' internals may dysfunction and be stuck on a word, resulting in the Baby repeating themselves and saying "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" for a very long time until their batteries are removed or run
drawing a picture of Andrew Zimmern sliding an entire ten foot long blue whale penis down his throat while Gordon Ramsay looks on in envious disgust
Furby can wake up with their sleep mask on, making a static sound that gets worse over time
Furby can die seconds after waking up
drawing a picture of Gordon Ramsay frantically using both hands to try and cram a bull's penis into his mouth
Gordon Ramsay Ate Bull Penis on TV & Couldn't Hold It Down
synthesizing the most dUMP
Deoxyuridine monophosphate
Dickite
Olympiadane
Olympicene
I didn't know who they were and why they were remaining anonymous, and I didn't really see the need for it
the stomach of an anglerfish ended up in hospital
fuck marry kill, a dead squid, a pretty cake, a steamed ham
look's like calamari's back on the menu, boys
Despite this less than positive experience, the man said he was keen to try masturbating with a dead squid
look's like meat's back on the menu, boys
An angler who posted step by step updates as he pleasured himself with the stomach of a manfish ended up in hospital
A man who posted ELDEST WORM BOY updates as he pleasured himself with the stomach of an anglerfish ended up in hospital
A man who posted BOY MEETS WORLD updates as he pleasured himself with the stomach of an anglerfish ended up in hospital
A man who posted step by step updates as he pleasured himself with the stomach of an anglerfish ended up in hospital
kent kent Kento
grand kent Kento
grand theft Kento
grand theft homo
steeplejacking
spermjacking
wondering whether Donald's carpet matches his drapes, or whether they'd lost the hobo by then
I'm sure I'd remember saying that
did you say "are you ready to have my thang in your mouth"
The Youest Person on GayTube
Kento's lawyers spring into action
The Gayest Person on YouTube
Exotic Thermite Series
These Guys Don't Know How To Drive in Snow and Who Gives a Shit
people who don't know how to shit in snow and frankly don't give a drive
people who don't know how to drive in snow and frankly don't give a shit
Kento's Secure Digital rape
Kento's Top Cat rape
wondering whether Kento's TC rape matches his SD rape
wondering whether Kento's carpet matches his drains
Davidson has been charged with aggravated assault, carrying a weapon on school grounds, terroristic threats, reckless conduct, possession of a firearm during the commission of a crime and disrupting a public school
unexpected homo
Brains & Brawn Frank & Sly
Pokemon Fireball and Mudflap
Burt Reynolds as Ash Ketchum
Ryan Reynolds as the voice of Pikachu
Head's Spurting Dickstarts
Head's Sporting Dickstarts
Dick's Sporting Headstarts
Style's Rifles Assaults Sales of Cut Off Dicks in Stores
Dick's Cuts Off Sales of Assault Style Rifles in Stores
wondering whether Kento's merkin matches his toupee
wondering whether Kento's carpet matches his drapes
Gay L Hitler
Gnorts, Mr Alien
signed, Samantha Geimer
maybe if he put on some pants it would stop happening
wondering how Nutella is supposed to be pronounced and worrying you too still haven't found what I'm looking for
fuck marry kill, Donald Trump, Donald Tusk, Donald Duck
they just sort of happen
that Donald Duck doesn't want rapes
Spitz and Amazons
cranking that soulja boy
pregnant sonic
leaning on a Nissan with Liam Neeson and your niisan
Spitz
nope, I was right all along
wondering how Nutella is supposed to be pronounced and worrying you too have been pronouncing it wrong this whole time
busting a Nutella myth makes me feel good
busting a Nutella myth
Realizing that you have been pronouncing Nutella wrong this whole time
ponies for nothing and the blow for free
blowing someone's pony for free
fixing someone's VD for free
fixing someone's PC for free
no u
DickSlashOff
not being the largest ass in the shed
not being the sharpest tool in the shed
wanting to make Kento a gift for ass for his birthday
the gift that keeps on giving
the man has a gift for ass
Kento was overqualified
they said I didn't have what it takes to meble
wondering how the assmebler interview went
thanks you too
you magnificent bastard
at least I've got good genes
surprisingly
what, watching Steamed Hams videos and lusting after your daughter aren't working out for you
I'm doing okay, except I'm at a loss for what I should be doing with my life
the red green brown alliance
the Elvis Presley Trauma Center
wondering how YOU'RE doing lately, aside from the crippling illness
I'm doing okay, except I cut my fingernails too short
Bernie Sanders' son, Bernie Sanderson
wondering how you're doing lately
razorblades from a paper cup
Harsh Nagar
Pisstown ain't big enough for the both of us
wanting to interrobang Kento for his birthday
Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge
You are Mother Fucker
When someone lies to you or does something lame, Ditches you, or is just straight up being Asian
When someone lies to you or does something lame, Ditches you, or is just straight up being gay
topping and bottoming for Prince William in Widow Six Nine LXIX
not with a name like that he isn't
he's a national treasure
learning that Prince William's RAF callsign was Widow Six Seven and not Royale With G's
he's a national treasure
jacking it to Nicolas Cage
For Germany, it was feared that the name "Elimination Chamber" may remind people of the gas chambers used during the Holocaust
Laura Dern being your first proper teenage crush because of all those movies where she was naked and having sex, and now it just feels like you were jacking it to Nicolas Cage
fuck marry kill, Laura Dern in asshugging shorts but she just gazes slackjawed at everything, Richard Attenborough except he sounds and dresses like an Alzheimer's patient on a cruise, Jeff Golblum exept he's shirtless and doing a Jeff Goldbum impression
having Dinosaur Sex with Rod Stewart and a DayathinkImSexus
wondering why Washington DC chose a Doyouthinkhesaurus
It's interesting how much people have been counting back to the conception date
BWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM
It's interesting how much people have been counting back to the conception date BWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM
It's interesting how much people have been counting back to the conception date
It's fair to say that I couldn't recall there being anything from the interview that particularly stood out to me
wondering why Connecticut chose a Nedrysaurus
excessive dinosaur sex
List of US state dinosaurs
wondering, if hairy palms are a sign of excessive masturbation, what a hairy neck indicates
that the dress was clearly lavender and brown
the official whine club of the NRA
the official wine club of the NRA
Steamed Hams but it's dubbed by Jake Lloyd's lines from Star Wars
wondering if there are enough Jake Lloyd lines from Episode One to piece together the entire score of Annie
fortunately the game did not end in a shootout
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School wins hockey title
oh Ani, dreamboat Ani, little shitbird dreams
we count our feelings in yesterdays
honest to goodness not knowing who makes those or why other than rampant SEO abuse, but having personally observed your cousin watch them for two hours without a break
Spiderman Frozen Elsa Funny Balloon Challenge Anna Snow White Ass Prank Funny Superhero In Re #MID
Sofia Help ELSA's & Boyfriends Make Money Funny Story! Finger Family Nursery Rhymes
because it was a shit movie dumped by the studio at the end of a style cycle, and had zero cultural relevance either in front of or behind the camera
Teaching someone to handle a gun is a very different skill from teaching them how to fight
Frozen Colon The Broadway Musical
Magic Kingdom Mike
Hank Hill will return in Good Idea, Bad Idea
There was more nudity than expected from Disney
Foul Macaque Snot
The Turtle Is Not Enough
Casino Jewel
For Your Eiffel Tower Only
PonyBlow
Never Say J#ffles Again
The Spy Who Kind of Loved Gene Hunt, That Magnificent Bastard
On Her Majesty's Racist Service
From Canada With Love, Eh
Pokemon Live and Let Die
A View to a Kill the California Girls
Thunderball, Thanks, You Too
You Only Live THRICE
Spoonraker
License to Fuck
License to Marry
Dr No Homo
Nomos Is Forever
Kentoctopussy
you're welcome to cum, get coughed on
vaccinating Jewel's boobs
nork control serum
mork control serum
mindy control serum
you're welcome to come get coughed on
sorry, I refuse to believe you have the flu, you're just a crisis actor hired by the FBI to try and convince me to get injected with mind control serum, aka a flu shot
eating the New Kids on the Bollocks
raiding Ikeda Plaza
fuck marry kill, me, this flu, secondary infections
eating the kid's bollocks
fuck marry kill, Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres
A swan restaurant without any swan
A chicken restaurant without any chicken
wondering whether Chris Lydon ever roleplays as Hans Gruber, the walrus roleplays as John McClane, and they recreate the raid on Ikeda Plaza
Master Bollocks
being the walrus's fuck pig
being the dog's bollocks
SWETI, the Search for Walrus Eiffel Tower Intelligence
those who know how to convert PDFs into Word documents and those who are indicted for money laundering
getting cheese strings all over your taint
Breast Balls
Youngster Joey
taint nothin but a D STRING
taint nothin but a g string
Lemon Balls
Melon Balls
Blue Balls
going balls deep in de tiger, mon
going balls deep in the tiger, mom
going balls deep in the tiger mom
going balls deep in the tiger
keeping your balls on the tiger
Master Balls
Fast Balls
Ultra Balls
Net Balls
Sport Balls
Safari Balls
Repeat Balls
Friend Balls
Heal Balls
Beast Balls
Love Balls
Cherish Balls
Great Balls
Premier Balls
Dream Balls
Quick Balls
Luxury Balls
Timer Balls
Lure Balls
Heavy Balls
Trial by Jury, or Laying Down the Law
using the metaphor "bank your spank too soon" in a professional setting
using the metaphor "blow your wad too soon" in a professional setting
slating christians with Christian Slater
Slater was unable to travel to the July MMXVII court hearing in the United States for lack of funds and said he was considering alternative careers as a dog walker or tennis coach
THEY'RE DOGS! AND THEY'RE PLAYING POKER!
that was around the time they were sued by a monkey
it wasn't even that they didn't believe she was who she said she was, it was that they wanted absolute assurance that she owned the copyright in the image and was assigning its use on wikipedia and wikimedia correctly
that once your brother's friend, who was a parliamentary candidate several elections ago and lost horribly and deserved to, tried to upload an image of herself to her wikipedia biography and it took eighteen months of form filling before they accepted it
A man goofing off at work, playing with a fidget spinner and a ball
I'm like a bee, I'll only FUCK! away
Nellbee FUCK!tado
lending your bees to a promiscuous beekeeper
pubic bees
this kills the crab
smashing Miley's crabs
crabs in a bucket
she's got a bucket of lice
she's got a heart of gold
definitely not fucking whichever Hemsworth was sticking it in Miley Cyrus, because that guy's dick has got to be crawling with so many STDs it's banned by the Geneva Convention
to answer your question, beeeeees
that's not my answer, I just don't like the guy
fucking Chris Hemsworth
Which Beesworth Would You FUCK!
fuck marry kill, fuck marry kill, A, B, C, Pokemon A and B, wanting to make Kento a A for his birthday
fuck 'em all and let God sort it out
Which Hemsworth Would You FUCK
Sex, marriage, and murder are all serious business
people have some sort of "moral objection" to our sex drug
Rico's Roughneck Kirby
Roughneck Kirby
Disney's MVI Dickgirls
you what they say, if you can't beat them, beat them off
she first caught attention while beating off VM competitors
no go zones
name something London is famous for
shitting a dick with Willy the Pooh
Willy the Pooh
Donald Duck tits salad
putting me on my pedestal and dancing with me
Due to her small stature and the fact that the North Korean Gymnastics Federation listed her given age as fifteen for three consecutive years, questions arose about Kim's age and eligibility for senior competition
I'm shaking with the heat of my need again
you already told your stripper story
a nonstop sex scarab ho
contrabass saxophone
menopause means menopause
the UK believes the period's duration should be determined simply by how long it will take to slough off the fluid and endometrial tissue of the vagina
the UK believes the period's duration should be determined simply by how long it will take to prepare and implement the new processes and new systems that will underpin the future relationship
that if dating a stripper meant getting better food you would probably have done it
something something Roman Polanski something tits for tots
she'd only be about fifteen if so
just think, if you had dated her maybe there would be another daughter somewhere out there for you to try to bang
knowing that the last one doesn't strictly speaking have human syntax but wanting to assure you that I breathe human air through my five pairs of leg gills
honestly guessing there's a higher than average chance that a stripper has also worked as a prostitute but probably not so high a chance as it feels like, and is unfair like your worry that anybody even moderately famous might have drug resistant STDs
then like last year, randomly, this youtube channel on which some of the guys went to the same uni was discussing the strip club and talking about what a horrific experience it was, and you finally felt like you were justified
that at uni your friend tried to set you up with her friend who was a stripper and though she was probably OK, when you were introduced she was still covered in full body makeup and sparkles because she'd been working all night and you just noped out
it is probably the most shameful thing in my life
having never been to a strip club, but having dated a stripper before, and by "dated" you mean "had one date then went to a cheap hotel for some fingerblasting then tried to avoid like the plague afterward"
expensive food
I would say fish in buffalo sauce
having always heard that strip clubs have kind of passable if expensive food
I made it up
wondering whether the spicy buffalo sushi was fish prepared with some kind of buffalo sauce, or actual buffalo meat prepared as sushi
remembering that time that you went to Hawaii and you saw that Obama's mean family
ordering that whole plate of spicy buffalo sushi which, though it cost about a hundred dollars, was admittedly quite good
remembering that time that you went to Hawaii and you saw that ohana means family
remembering that time that you went to Hawaii and you saw tons of flyers for shooting range slash strip clubs that cater to Japanese tourists
we can't have that
once you start looking at how easy it is to get around it you would literally have to ban every semi automatic rifle that's sold in America
I never knew that about Seinfeld
The series is known for its repeated depiction of sexual fantasies involving men abducting and physically and sexually brutalizing women, who grow to enjoy their submissive state
Steamed Hams but recreated using only Seinfeld clips
I'm just trying to pass on the flu to as many people as possible
oh, so you guys are talking again
Steamed Hams but phonetically read by an argentinian
wanting to make Kento a couple doughnut holes for his birthday
doughnut holey butts
it's the circle of life, it's a doughnut hole, oh Nikita you will never know
more to poo than can ever be dumped
there's more to eat than can ever be eaten
eating our doughnut holes
from the day we arrive on the planet
doughnut hole
Arsene Wenger
awameh
Timbits
holy butts
then NBA Commissioner David Stern, watching the game on TV, recalled that he said, "Holy mouths a swear word"
here in the dark in these final hours
smooth
Kento XXXkeda
Kento IVkeda
Kento IIIkeda
Kento IIkeda
not just Kento Ikeda, but Kento Youkeda, and Kento Theykeda too
Kento's midichlorian count
sitting in the splash zone of a burlesque review with Milton Berle
billing myrrh with Bill Murray
milling burrs with Milton Berle and Bill Murray
Kento's force multiplier
I've never fucked anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never married anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never thrilled anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never held anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never kissed anything with it except a bunch of targets
I've never killed anything with it except a bunch of targets
thousands of prejudices for every occasion
you literally just saw me bury my fucking mum mate are you retarded
I toyed with the name Blue Mason but then remembered at drama school that they had told us that a name with alliteration was always much more memorable
Sarkocy has also claimed that he organised Live Aid, which he alleges was apparently funded by Czechoslovakia, and also purports to have known what Margaret Thatcher had for "breakfast, lunch and dinner", and what clothes she would wear each day
it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the anaconda again
wondering if anyone has ever made a video of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs dancing to Baby Got Back
skinning big butts
Steamed Hams but Big Butt Skinner a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to kiss his own butt
Steamed Hams but Chalmers is Everywhere, If You Know What I Mean
Steamed Hams but Chalmers says "that'll do, pig, that'll do" after they have sex
Steamed Hams but at the end Chalmers says ""I must admit, you steam a good ham" instead of "I must say, you steam a good ham"
Steamed Hams but Chalmers is Everywhere
bottoming for Scooby Doo, Air Bud, and Max in Three Dog Night
doing one
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
CategoryColonIsraeli psychics
fuck marry kill, Ross Geller, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Uri Geller
fuck marry kill, Metasepia pfefferi, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger
taxes in Tejas
Colon Frank Lloyd Wright
Chris Lydon, Colon Shower
Chris Lydon, Colon Grower
'You Are Sucking Us Dry' Colon Growers Descend on Supervisors Meeting to Protest Cannabis Fees, Taxes
Metasepia pfefferi
sounds good, do you want the front or the back
wanting to make Kento a Chinese finger trap for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Japanese Mouse Trap for his birthday
Japanese muscles
Japanese cockles
Schweppes
signed, you know who
hey, since when is it a sin to anally rape an underage girl
the people of Gomorrah must have been into some pretty weird shit for Lot to still be the holiest among them even after he tried to prostitute his underage daughters for a gangbang on behalf of total strangers, never mind knocking them up himself
marrying in sodomy
and verily Rachel, Queenof Gomorrah did possess a circumference of no less than ten cubits, and had she a weight matching four stout oxen, and beneath her garments was not a woman's loins, but rather a massive rod the girth of a young pine tree
wondering why we never really hear about what the people from Gomorrah were into
engaging in sodomy, Number One
engaging in sodomy
After finding out that his girlfriend had been engaging in sodomy with the patients of the retirement home that she worked at, Frank was gunshy for almost a decade
Jewel's a very intimidating woman, she's got to convince them to go out on the court with her somehow
it's less stagefright than gunshy
everybody gets stagefright now and then
I get kind of nervous sometimes
it depends on the size of the crowd
passing Jewel's globes back and forth between a team of all star basketball players for the amusement of a crowd
spooning Jewel's globes
buying that naked lady BIRTHRIGHT, PART I
Orlando RAGE
the Harlem Globe Spooners
the New York Slash New Jersey Hitmen
hott nooking up with le hom when you had the chance, eh
BROILING the Harambe killers
grilling the Harambe killers
killing the Harambe gorillas
Funks go e y y man kill zucchini angst
walking through Marlborough with Mark Wahlberg
all Kento are fuckable, but some Kento are more fuckable than others
Kento that have fatter, gayer faces are considered more fuckable
Kento that have fatter, gayer faces are considered more beautiful
trying to bury those raped naked lady
trying to bury those naked lady tapes
buying that naked lady tapestry
Persian that have bigger, plumper faces are considered more beautiful
scoring franks in corkscrew fashion
F#R#I#E#N#D#S# did Jew stuff too
now you're making me want to watch F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
the episode of F#R#I#E#N#D#S# where Ross encounters a tedious, easily resolved problem and ends up screaming about it until someone else resolves it for him
fuck marry kill, Larry David, Dwayne Johnson, Cheryl Renee James
the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David encounters a socially awkward situation and spends half an hour kvetching about it
SIDEWALK Your Enthusiasm
although rock salt and kosher salt are fairly similar
I feel like there's jokes I could be making here which, while largely innocent in content, would not be appropriate in tone
The Rock isn't Jewish
I watched like an entire season of Curb Your Enthusiasm on the last plane trip
you're very chosen people today
not hooking up with the KOSHER deli manager when you had the chance, oy vey
not hooking up with the deli manager when you had the chance
not hooking up with the model actress producer director when you had the chance
keeping Gene Hunt alive through a whole streaming video, only to have him go and get flared up in another game without you being able to blow a pony MOTHERFUCKER
keeping Gene Hunt alive through a whole streaming video, only to have him go and get flared up in another game without you being able to blow a pony
MOTHERFUCKER
wondering when they're going to get around to remaking The Rock starring The Rock
not hooking up with the huge breasted poker playing bikini mohel goth when you had the chance
not hooking up with the model when you had the chance
that's really more of a lifelong condition for him
wanting to make Kento spontaneously boob busty for his birthday
wanting to make Kento spontaneously bombast for his birthday MOTHERFUCKER
fuck marry kill, Master Roshi, Master Yoshi, MASTER CYLINDER
Master Roshi was unavailable for comment
Case settled for XXXII victims in Kamehameha sex abuse trial
Kento's bum ticker
not hooking up with the mohel when you had the chance
cutting Danny Glover's foreskin way too short
I'm getting too old for this shit
shit, I already made that joke four times
that your penis is so big you have a fiveskin
Batman getting circumcised
cutting your foreskin way too short
bat getting circumcised
the Westermark Effect
not everyone old enough to be someone else's father is dead
Kim Kardashian's father is dead
bot getting circumcised
cutting your toenails way too short
bot remembering where someone old enough to be Kim Kardashian's father took advantage of her and she had to quit her job
the "Kim Kardashian of Norwich"
He made the first move, I went along with it and it just spiralled out of control
the very idea of wanting to make Kento feel good
wanting to make Kento spontaneously bust cum for his birthday
they're really better uncut
The Maltese Boner
eating all those cut Malta boners
a crossover remake of Bleak House and The Boss Baby, Look Who's Tulkinghorn
eating all those caramel buttons
fuck marry kill, Indiana Jones, Johnny Utah, Pennsylvania Dutch
not speaking Hovitos
just now realizing Guy Ritchie's "Snatch" is about Madonna
just now realizing that Madonna's "Into the Groove" is about her c o l o n o s c o p y
Pokemon Deeper and Deeper
wondering what year Madonna lost her last straight fan
bottoming for Madonna in Deeper and Deeper VII
just now realizing that Madonna's "Deeper and Deeper" is about anal sex
just now realizing that Madonna's "Hung Up" is about her enormous erect penis
just now realizing that Madonna's "Deeper and Deeper" is about her c o l o n o s c o p y
just now realizing that Madonna's "Deeper and Deeper" is about her v a g i n a
just now realizing that Madonna's "Ray of Light" is about her colonoscopy
just now realizing that Madonna's "Express Yourself" is about preparing bottled breast milk ahead of time using a breast pump
just now realizing that Madonna's song "Bitch I'm Madonna" is about a bitch
hold, thrill, kiss, kill, squat snatch or full snatch, split snatch, power snatch, muscle snatch
Steamed Hams but it's from Mother's perspective
Steamed Hams but it's voiced by Sam Etic and John Jay Smith
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Virgin" is about Kento's Facebook posts
They were dropped after Tony Blair agreed to guest star
not knowing where you're going to find fraternal quadruplets willing to let you test this theory
There are four main styles of snatch used colon squat snatch or full snatch, split snatch, power snatch, and muscle snatch
Dom Parsons receives congratulatory phone call from Duchess of Cambridge
Skeleton King approves
Winter Olympics Colon Dom Parsons wins skeleton bronze medal
Dolt XLV
bottoming for David Bowelie in Pee Poo Scheisser VII
human regretsources
inappropriate regretplace behavior
I'd like to steam your hams, if you know what I mean
I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hams we're having
a Brexit linked squeeze on living standards
Steamed Hams but Every Time Skinner Lies Time Resets and Only Chalmers Knows About It
The Alternate Universe Where the Steamed Hams Actually Existed
drawing a picture of Misty fantasizing about Ash putting on like two hundred pounds and being Eiffel Towered by Professor Oak and a Walrein
Steamed Hams but Skinner has Ralph Wiggum's voice
John Cena reveals news of Osama bin Laden at Extreme Rules
just now realizing that Nirvana's "About a Girl" is about a girl
In School of Hard Knocks, Misty fantasizes about Paris and the Eiffel Tower
Heron's fountain
a great philosopher once wrote "Naughty, naughty, very naughty, ha ha ha ha ha"
You talk about 'E' for England, but part of it is made in Scotland
I just don't know why you'd ever want to bring back Cobra Kai
This created a nationalist uproar that died down when Benn stated that the suffixed "e" represented "Excellence, England, Europe and Entente Cordiale"
getting NO REGRETS engraved on the shaft of your Doc Johnson Petite Lucid Dreams, #Eighty Two Deep Purple
remembering that you don't want this
just now realizing that Madonna's "Lick a Prayer" is about a lick job
just now realizing that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is about JLaw boob
just now realizing that Forrest Gump's "like a box of chocolates" is about anal sex
just now realizing that Madonna is about a blow job
Wipe
here we are and here we are and here we go
juicing all over the place
fuck marry kill, Scatman John, Scatman Crothers, Lieutenant Commander Data
joining the NRA with Morgan Freeman
fuck marry kill, Kento's spoon, Kento's fork, Kento's knife
fuck marry kill, Kento's anus, Kento's mouth, Kento's breasts
fuck marry kill, Kento, Stephen Fry, Sarah Bustykento
adiM
fuck marry kill, Boutros Boutros Ghali, U Thant, Thot Gor
fuck marry kill, Luigi Mario, Mario Mario, Boutros Boutros Ghali
fuck marry kill, Joe le Taxi, Joe the Plumber, Luigi Mario
fuck marry kill, Ubermensch, Uber driver, Joe le Taxi
fuck marry kill, Lowenmensch, Ubermensch, Lumpenproletariat
fuck marry kill, Uncle Leo from Seinfeld, Scar from The Lion King, Lowenmensch
fuck marry kill, Leo Frank, Leo Sayer, Uncle Leo from Seinfeld
fuck marry kill, Jason David Frank, David Jason, Leo Frank
fuck marry kill, Jason David Frank, Jackson C Frank, Anne Frank
trying not to sexualize Anne Frank
fleeing James Dashner in fear of a cornholin'
'Maze Runner' Author Dropped by Literary Agent After Sexual Misconduct Claims
trying not to sexualize Annie
chasing an honest life in France with Jason David Frank
another heart has made the grade
the amazing Tugrat Index
Tugrats
if you're sure you don't mind
eating my Valentine
being my Valentine
garnish with carfull of potatoes
one shot grappa, one shot turpentine in a Tom Collins glass, top off with nacho cheese
wondering what would go into a Lickjob in the Dumpster Behind Steak n Shake
it's like ten thousand rusty nails when all you need is a screwdriver, or if you're feeling fancy a long slow screw against the wall
source colon guess where I'm from
they only serve rusty nails down there
he's probably either a ghost or drinking his kosher sex on the beach in hell
dead difficult
that the FGWLLJD is probably dead, so he might actually be a ghost
a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain's parietal cortex
he was totally ghosting her though
that time Bicoid Babe was worried about the French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson and you suggested he might just be ghosting her because stereotypical Frenchmen and somebody got upset about that but in retrospect, you were being racist
subtle jokes
saying fridge when you meant to say icebox
waking up with a British tongue in your fridge
an animated stoner comedy starring Bruce Willis as the loveable pachyderm who sells baggies of weed to the other animals, the Eighth Elephant
waking up with a British tongue in your head, how's about that, then
bees are the FUCK! of the starFUCK! Enterbeees
waking up with a British tongue in your head
An American says she fell asleep with a headache and woke up with a British accent, cheerio
signed, Ted Cruz
having a daughter who conveniently works up meat
having a daughter who conveniently works in place with lots of machinery for cutting up meat
federal mathers
only if they're recently deceased
wondering how you feel about daddy slash little girl incest
I'm assuming "you" here refers to "several dozen heavily armed federal marshals who cordoned off the backwoods shack I had converted into a grisly shrine to my decades of canniibalism"
only you can cool my desire
bees are the FUCK! of the starship Enterprise
becoming more and more convinced with each listening that I'm on Fire is about a serial killer slash child molester slash necophiliac
the Furby Organ
not being sure if Duterte's claims to being some kind of crazed hardman are all lies and posturing, or what
Duterte tells Philippine soldiers to shoot female rebels in their vaginas
Tangled but it's about a prince locked up in a tower, Dongled Porkons, Rod Sox
Tangled but it's about a prince locked up in a tower, Dongled
Porkons, Rod Sox
Heinrich Harder's diplodocus
she has just one week to fix this deadbeat up, also that one Barenaked Ladies song just plays constantly, like in the background when they're in public, on the radio, over the credits, it must play like fifty times in ninety minutes
Career Weak, a movie about a very pretty young female graduate career lady who falls for an unsuitably poor but otherwise very pretty man with strong oral sex skills, featuring someone you totally forgot existed as Unexpectedly Sassy Quirky Friend
Honro Jonkons
Toook x Croog
Tweek x Craig
Henry Jenkins, an early slash fiction scholar
the original manuscript had Kirk slash Spock slash fiction elements, and these were requested to be removed by Paramount
wondering how you feel about pony slash recipe incest
it's fine as long as you don't use a messy recipe
wondering how you feel about pony blowing
wondering how you feel about using a messy recipe
on the one hand I've always wanted to fuck Sonic the Hedgehog, but on the other hand
conflicted
wondering how you feel about father slash daughter incest
wondering how you feel about axl rose slash incest
wondering how you feel about father son slash incest, signed, Anthony Hudson
slipping down to cover the hillside
fuck marry kill, CC Peniston, PP Arnold, Dick King Smith
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon snarling with rage as he stands over a beaten and terrified Kento, growling "DO I NEED TO DIAL NINE ONE ONE FOR YOU, KENTO" as Kento clutches his belly
the pleasures of the bone
the pleasures of the flesh
Excellent Spoon Boobed Horse
genuinely thought that was a Jewel lyric
My home town that I lived in, Is a flower blooming mountainous place, With peach blossom flowers, apricot flowers and baby azaleas, Various palace of flowers in the neighborhood, I long for the time I played in that place
Axl Gas Vein
Axl Sane
raising a lot of axolotl with Axl Rose
bringing your a hole game
a hole game
making a messy recipe in a hairy mason jar like some kind of hipster
Hairy Mason Jar
keeping Hairy Mason Jar alive through a hole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it
once Chris stuffed his up there, Kento just started calling it his own
Kento doesn't have a phone
Man's phone fell out when he spent too long playing on his rectum on the toilet
searching them for paper, and bringing me a rock
I want your love, and I want your revenge, you and me could write a goocing romance
hearing a fire truck squealing by your place just as you reach the part with the fire trucks in a Steamed Hams video and getting freaked out
as I take your BEES and FUCK! you to the dancefloor
Steamed Hams but Skinner is honest about everything
It's Always Sunny in Springfield
man's inhumanity to rectum
Courvoisier VS Predator
gooching
this downtempo jazz cover of GOOCING ROMANCE
this downtempo jazz cover of Tainted Love
Swan Storage Canisters
Man's rectum fell out when he spent too long playing on his phone on the toilet
you should put a flashing pink light on your roof, at least, so we can get out of your way
Bon, Jams Bon
worst Bon ever
A LICENCE TO MAKE TOAST IN YOUR OWN DAMN TOASTER
Steamed Hams deepcake messy recipes
We know that you are a country and a continent, Best of luck in the Olympic games!
Steamed Things but it's Stranger Hams
Steamed Hams but it's Stranger Things
Steamed Hams but Chalmers bombards Skinner with questions
Steamed Hams but Skinner cooks his own Mother
Steamed Hams but the roast Skinner was cooking was actually Uter
Steamed Hams but all the dialogue is Lil Jon lyrics
Szechuan Hams
that former Campbell County District Judge Timothy Nolan has pleaded guilty to numerous felony charges, including human trafficking of adults, promoting human trafficking of minors and unlawful transaction with minors
using a messy old family recipe, patented Skinnerburgers
Albany, I'm looking at you
wondering why no fast food chain has temporarily renamed their hamburgers Steamed Hams, or at least run an offer where you get like ten% off if you ask for steamed hams instead of hamburgers
steamed hams but skinner is better at lying
Steamed Hams but it's dubbed using The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Compressorhead, I just met 'er!
Compressorhead
Steamed Hams but it's All Star
tugging the reins
blessing the rains
I love what you're doing in Africa
Fofto Shodos of Groo
Brendan O' Smarty
Bastianich visits a nail salon in Milan's Chinatown, where he proceeds to correct the employees' speech, and asks if the women have ever dated an Italian man, because Chinese men are "inadequate in certain situations"
child predator hands
unfortunate product names
that the woman who dies in the transporter accident was Kirk's former spouse
boobland's foreign policy
It's boobs in boobland here
Steamed Swans but nobody gets a broken arm and the only hissing is steam
purchasing fast food and disguising it as your own cooking
it would take a frozen burrito just to clear your gut awhile
it would take a gunshot just to clear your head awhile putting Kento's face on the frozen burrito
it would take a gunshot just to clear your head awhile
putting Kento's face on the frozen burrito
gerrymandering's contribution to Pennsylvania's partisan outcome was about five times as large as the effect of overall structural advantages
first you say skype and now you want to get physical
Australia is a continent, not country, oi, crikey, THIS is a knife, let's get physical, chazzwozzers
Australia is a continent, not a country
Go Ikeda, baculum
Ken To, you son of a baculum
Dee Lon, you son of a beech
r slash DentalSchoolMannequins
liking Myke and Hawke candy but damn if they don't look like rat's cocks for butts
liking Mike and Ike candy but damn if they don't look like buttplugs for rats
dental school mannequins
yoga flame
yoga fire
bottoming for Marty Dick Fly in Bareback to the Future Part III
you've gotta go back, Marvin, back to the pooper
Marvin! It's your cousin Chuck, Chuck Gay! You know that new hole you've been looking for
bottoming for Marvin Gay in You're All I Need to Get Bi VII
He'd fuck a mailbox
Steamed Swans
Reddit bans Steamed Hams videos
on the whole, I would rather be tickling Ginger Rogers' tits
the poops of which blazed with jewels
a MAD Magazine style fold in that asks "Trump headed for prison" and when you fold it in it says "Treason"
Marmaduke and Jezebel are friends, and all is well
intelliporn
Sunil Tripathi
just sometimes wanting to anonymously shout about comic books
having a conversation with someone about IVchan where they basically balked at the idea of even knowing you if you were into that shit, then talked about how they got their news from Reddit, the "front page of the internet", rather than the "MSM"
having a conversation with your mom around Christmas where she told you about a news story she saw where something from reddit was in the mainstream news and she considered checking it out, and you said in the strongest of words to never EVER go there
sands people
General Tarpsals
Bosses Nass
the plural is actually Jars Jar
this is how democracy dies, to thunderous masturbation
Reddit bans deepfake porn videos
it's ready
there's vomit on his mom's spaghetti
#boournsbart
#boobart
Capezzoli di Venere
akathisia
Walron Tusk
Cadet Bone Spurs
this chalmersless ham
this chalmersless man
the very idea that Kento has any chalmers at all
Quisling Tarantino
Look, she was down with this
The sickening game involved the Zeta Beta Tau chapter members racking up points through sexual conquests at the Ivy League campus, all by factoring in the weight of the women they slept with, The Ithaca Voice reported
"Traitor! Quisling! Squealer!" Linus shouts at Snoopy as Linus' sister Lucy drags him away
Szmalcownik
skinning Kento's chalmers
buttering Kento's nuts
steaming Kento's hams
Swansourasaurus
Mansourasaurus
nothing but nuts in your butt
Live Views of Jeff Bridges
Live Views of Starman
being wetter than Skinner at a steamed ham convention
being wetter than Kento at a walrus convention
Steamed Hams but it's dubbed by the DK Rap
asking Chris Hansen the genie for a tweve inch pianist and he asked you to take a seat instead
living in a moment instead of living in the moment
ineffectually brushing the sand from your feet
it is inappropriate
please do not nonchalantly scratch my behind
nonchalantly scratching your behind
How organisms are perceiving the environment or responding or adapting are based on some very similar principles
Procambarus virginalis
I'm almost certain that he SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA
I'm almost certain that he A DEER, A FEMALE DEER
I'm almost certain that he doe
wondering whether Piers Stefan Pughe Morgan knows his name is an anagram of "rough ape penis fragments"
Bummer and Lazarus
The Piers Morgan Spectacular Own Goal Award
who so far as I know hasn't been accused of anything terrible yet
the death of John Mahoney
nothing says jeers like this rusty Ford tailgate
nothing says cheers like Harrison Ford
asking the game genie for a tweve inch pianist and he gave you a twelve second super mario world one stage one run instead
dwarf poon
asking the genie for a tweve inch pianist and he gave you a twelve inch penis instead
nothing says Star Wars like Woody Harrelson
Here's Looking at Q
He just waves his arms around and talks about taking back control
Bobo Yogo
A rabbi, a priest, an imam and a monk loaded into a truck to go to a football game with the tagline, "We're all on one team"
Barely Legal Seafoods
Gov Baker owes Gov Wolf clam chowder from Legal Seafoods, craisins from Ocean Spray, apple cider donuts from Smolak Farms, apple pie, chicken pot pie and maple syrup from Hollis Hills Farms, Grillo's Pickles and Boston creme pie cupcakes from Koffee Kup
being nuts for nuts
Orchidelirium
Particular emphasis may be placed by some narrators on the repulsiveness of her nose or other body parts
porn dwarf
a moweu in love
a mowan in love
Rowan Polonski
a woman in love
they weren't even to feed us during the week we were away, they were taking home potatoes
Manolis Chiotis, considered one of the greatest bouzouki soloists of all time
they bought like twenty five kilos, though obviously sold in lbs Imperial because otherwise they would have been outraged
road potatoes
the potatoes were an impulse buy because they saw a sign by the side of the road
they hadn't even picked up the beer, potatoes or toilet paper at that point
besides, of course, boiling them, mashing them, or sticking them in a stew
my mother said she smiled and waved us goodbye even though she was furious that the car was so full we had to sit on the floor, then when we were out of sight she cried for an hour with worry
so what were the potatoes for
toilet paper and beer
the trunk was full of toilet paper
the Vergina Sun
sorry, I'm just picturing your grandparents having a still in the trunk of their car making do it yourself vodka while driving down the street
mmmm, potato smoothies
not being sure that you've ever seen your last surviving grandparent sober, except maybe when he's bad tempered, but even then there's sobriety and there's blood alcohol tolerance
basically it was just a drinking trip for them and their friends
the actual story being far more appalling but not fitting into two hundred and fifty five characters
your grandparents once taking you and your siblings on a family trip in the car your parents had scrimped and saved to buy because it had seatbelts before they were mandatory, and making you sit on the floor because they'd filled the seats with potatoes
that all four of your grandparents were basically alcoholics who drank themselves into early graves, and it's a miracle that neither you nor your parents went down that path
your mom's stories about how your grandfather would get drunk off of mouthwash during family beach vacations when you were a child but you never noticed because of childlike innocence
normality is surprisingly hard to explain to sober people
sobriety is surprisingly hard to explain to normal people
probably more sober too
you're still younger than Old Harrison Ford in Star Wars
being older than Young Harrison Ford in Star Wars
keeping the eyes on your tiger
baby when I heard you for the first time I knew
putting the frozen burrito's face on Ron Jeremy's body
it's smooth and warm and nice, and you can build things out of it
putting the balrog's face on Ron Jeremy's body
Slave of the Balrog
The segments of Dickinsonia have been described as "pneus"
balrog porn
elf porn
gelfs
red dwarf porn
popozoo
wondering if robert is rachel's male aspect or fursona or something
popowood
Hoboo Boobbs, pipeweed whore
Hoboo Boobbs, trannie hooker
Hoboo Boobbs
bottomong for Joko Shoko on Stook n Shoko VOO
Joko Shoko
Hobie Boobbs
bottoming for Jake Shake in Steak n Shake VII
wanting to be famous for pushing yourself back in a car seat, like David Hasselhoff
Dr Robert Hilarious, MD
robert hilarious
did you honestly think if you googled "colossal pervert" you'd get a picture of me
cybill troy
I may be a racist, punch drunk, colossal pervert with access to a time machine, but I am not a colossal pervert
my grandma is not Natalie Portman
wishing you were called Adam Birrel so that you could open an hilarious themed snack bar
so my daughter dyed her hair blue
Jango Glackin
Boobie Hobbs
THEROYALPENISISCLEAN Morgan
Chad President
Fair Hooker
Yourhighness Morgan
Equanimeous St Brown
Sam Walkingstick
Rashaad Coward
Standish Dobard
Jake Shake
Corn Elder
Xavier Longerbeam
Ephraim Kitchen
Shy Tuttle
Riley Lovingood
Hotbody McFabtits
wondering if when George Michael sang "I want your sex" he intended him as "I want to be your sex"
but he did not in fact fuck the bees
I FUCK! Your BEEEES
not having the patience to sit through all those commentary tracks on the Arrested Development box set to find out
wondering if when George Michael sang "I want your sex" he intended it as "I want to be your gender"
the mere thought of rachel's fifty hashtag penis
the mere thought of Moby's fifty EURO penis
the mere thought of rachel's fifty pound penis
the mere thought of Moby's fifty pound penis
Glanshammar Lydon, Moria Prostitute
time feels right to explore some incredible new opportunities together
the mere thought of industrial dildos
The Moby, World's Largest Retail Dildo
a Donald P Bellisario style eighties set cop show and the theme music is Careless Bees
correctly shooting a young girl during a gunfight, but those pencil pushing desk jockeys down at Internal Affairs not being able to understand what it's like on the street
After he erroneously shoots a young girl during a gunfight, he relocates to a beachfront Los Angeles precinct on temporary assignment
Jack wears an eye patch, but used to have a false eye made of opal with a star sapphire center that Jake lost in a poker game and refuses to let Jake forget it
Glanshammar, Lydon
inventing IKEA with Ellen Key
Glanshammar, Sweden
fuck marry kill, Eleven from Stranger Things, a group of twelve upper class ladies who sponsored and organized social functions to help improve working class ladies' manners, the thirteen ghosts of Scooby Doo
yelling "there's an ant on your chin!" at Anton Yelchin
fuck marry kill, Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen
Part of Walter's personality realizes what he has put his family through and wants to get rid of the beaver to get back together with his family, but the beaver 'resists'
being as hot as the devil's grundle
being as tight as a gnat's chuff
being as cold AND SHRIVELLED as a WARLOCK'S DONG
being as cold as a witch's tit
being as tight as Dick's hatband
dressing up in costumes, playing silly games, hiding out in treetops, shouting out MATT DAMON
one user pretending to be Matt Damon, who has posted the words MATT DAMON
one user pretending to be Ed Balls, who has posted the words Ed Balls
deer diarrhea
diarrhea scent of a woman
mad black diarrhea of a woman
for a not pregananant dude you sure are fixated on that
riding Guinan's asshole fountain
yeah, well I want to see you jerk off on cam, we can't always get what we want
I want to see you boxing naked to the death
fuck marry kill, Ocean's Eleven, Twelve Angry Men, Thirteen Women
If I reach this in my first word, the rest of the words and lines take care of themselves
They've been smoking for four hundred years, you think it's going to stop in the next two
bottoming for Merritt Butrick in Square Pegs
synthapoop
wondering who would program a replicator to poop and immediately thinking Barclay
at his age he may well be into diapers
that we joke a lot, but Patrick Stewart really seems like the kind of guy who is into scatplay
making a noise which approximates the sound of a ruler being banged on the edge of Detroit
making a noise which approximates the sound of a ruler being hanged on the edge of Detroit
making a noise which approximates the sound of a ruler being twanged on the edge of a desk for Detroit
Man accused of exposing himself was 'candling handy, not happiness'
Man accused of exposing himself was 'handling candy, not penis'
tu quoque the raven, once before
Saltlick Township
The children take turns selecting her parts, the color of her eyes, even the size of her penis
liquid explosive dinosaurs
Nanopore sequencing and assembly of a human genome with ultra long reads
Clam Clamiel
there's nothing gay about dudes fucking
The children take turns selecting her parts, the color of her eyes, even the tone of her voice
I sing the sausage electric
wishing Bicoid Babe would come back so this place would be an electric sausage party XXIV VII
wishing Bicoid Babe would come back so this place wouldn't be such a sausage party all the time
Julian Assange's Fight Club, weeknights at eight, Embassy of Ecuadorian in London, Flat IIIb, III Hans Crescent, London SWlX OLS, tell your friends
I'm happy as long as there is a fight!
a pornstar who solely performs motion capture and as a body for that creepy face swap thing, but does it really well, Mandy Merkins
problems problems problems
you're pregananant, I'm blacklisted, someone else is blacklisted but doesn't want to talk about it, Kento's a fat gay Asian whoreman, the Natural History Museum has a restraining order out on agenty fifty seven
we've got problems, it's true
marking buffalo with Mark Ruffalo
that for two people who indentify as heterosexual we sure talk about dudes fucking a lot
Steamed Hamiel
Clam Daniel! Back at it again with the white Clams!
Clam Daniel
just never really dicking with URSULA
just never really dicking with Phoebe
Due to a poorly thought through online poll question, he ends up having to eat a Boaty McBoatface submarine
Pokemon "Paka Paka" and "Flash"
Minipops
I don't wanna be your dead end, honey, out in the cold
instead of becoming rich or a diabolic criminal, Strine becomes an elaborate voyeur
being presented with a labrador wearing hosiery at the bar after mistakenly ordering a Socks on the Bitch
not gelling with smelly cat
just never really clicking with Phoebe
signed, Roman Polanski
having a thing for self described tiny little women
I'd probably kill Phoebe
back bacon, obviously
it's gotta be like over ninety, right
wondering what percentage of people, when present with a fuck marry kill of Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, would choose to kill Monica
cow bacon but it's sold pan fried as Dumbo wings
buffalo wings but they're dongs instead of wings, buffalo dongs
Bateman's spunkological paradigm
Bateman's principle
opening the door getting on the floor, having Poseidon sex with agenty fifty seven
Poseidon granted this wish, and also gave Caenis impenetrable skin
the beach, for example
I can think of worse places
Poseidon also had sexual intercourse with Medusa on the floor of a temple to Athena
getting a virus from malsex
malsex
male sex
that arguably the most infamous male sex symbol in Boston Aquarium right now is named Kento Ikeda
that arguably the most famous male sex symbol in Japan right now is named Kento
ROSS CAAAAAAN
stupid keyboard, be more funny
F#R#I#E#N#D#S# of gold
F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
so no one told you life was gonna be this way CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP
drawing a picture of Dame Judi Dench on the toilet exclaiming "Damn! Doodie densh!" through clenched teeth
a heroin addicted jazz critic who's not radioactive
so no one told you you'll remember it wasn't me when the girl next door is crapping in your pansies
that's me in the corner, that's me in the spot light, crapping red handed on the girl next door
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I'm ashamed, having dinosaur sex with Sting on the bathroom floor
opening the door, creeping on the floor, having dinosaur sex with the demolition man
pornographic dancing
crapping with the girl next door
creeping with the girl next door
Honey came in and she caught me red handed creeping with the girl next door, picture this we were both butt naked walking in fields of gold
when asked whose idea this piece of shit was, Shaggy simply replied "it wasn't me"
Who's on first
If you want a taste of what the album might sound like, they dropped the first single today, titled "Don't Make Me Wait", available on all steaming pile of shit platforms
Sting and Shaggy have combined forces to produce an "island influenced" album
What's a computer
we named the broke dick dog Indiana
"Jeremy Piven" being one of those things that you always see in the news but you never quite understand what it is, like "supermoon" or "kurds"
poo poo pi doo are the actual lyrics
I wanna be loved by you, just you, maybe this guy, and those guys too, I wanna be loved by you all, poo poo pi doo
staying gelded, pony boy
Three more women are coming forward with allegations of sexual misconduct or inappropriate behavior dating back decades against former Entourage star Jeremy Piven and I still don't know who that is
being tormented in Hell by Helen Skelton's skeleton
Eggplant Xerxes Crybaby Overbite Narwhal
said she hadn't heard the news, hadn't had the time to choose
raising Dolores O'Riordan from the dead as a zombie ee ee
every young woman should have a Trumpers in her life
Kento Ikeda, bestialist
lending your dog's lipstick to a dishonest Kento
Michael Brokedickdog
I wouldn't wish that on a broke dick dog
Michael Jackswan
mmchaka mmchaka mmchaka a he
shamon
hoo
a he
pla ing a te arium at the plane arium
planning a terrarium at the planetarium
Mr Glascock
It's always this superhero patient who wins the jackpot
Toes are very hard to come by
Walker's mother referred to her son as Diesel's "Tejas Ranger"
there's nothing wrong with peeing with your poos
Walker's mother referred to her son as Diesel's "other half"
Pees Withherpoos
spooning Reese Witherspoon with her spoon
Reese Witherspoon's third leg, if you know what I mean
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's crash pic mural art,
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's armchair carp lust,
A woman had her hair pulled, an elderly lady took a box on her head, another had a bloody hand
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's circular phat arms,
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's armchair crap slut,
fuck marry kill, Mogh, Worf, Alexander
when I put Myke Hawke upon your shoulder, feel it moving, moving closer
D''''''
when I put my hand upon your shoulder, feel it moving, moving closer
an overall ill fit for Vin Diesel's particular charms,
I want to cum homo to a homo cocked dinner every night at sex
a tree on every lawn, a woodpecker in every tree, a quarterback in every family
I want to come home to a home cooked dinner every night at six
I'll go get Kento
that'll work
what if we just put your face on someone else's body while they do it
I would never fuck a dumpster or a dump, don't be ridiculous
fuck marry kill, the hugest dump, the most amazing dump, the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
fuck marry kill, depression, a frozen shoulder, a terrible tooth
depression, a frozen shoulder and a terrible tooth
karma is a bitch
it's a eunuch's system, I know this
being kind of thrown by the ending of Casablanca because you didn't remember the three little people Rick was talking about, but it turning out he was talking about the guys working on the scaled down plane behind him
the problems of a fat gay Asian don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world
trying to use Craigslist to gague how much Kento is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars
the Craigslist Kento
I'd rather not
imagining his largess when he opened his ass and I pushed the walrus toward his crevasse
Kento's jimmy
wanting to finger Kento until his jimmy bleeds for his birthday
an unfriendly act by the British intellectual class
A dozen camels are disqualified from a beauty pageant at the King Abdulaziz Camel Festival, near Riyadh, after reports in the media about injections with botox
wondering where, hypothetically, Kento falls on the spectrum of most dangerous gay
taking the most amazing dump just now
basically the whole of that song
we can wank if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, 'cause your friends don't wank and if they don't wank well they're no friends of mine
strangers wanking up and down the boulevard, Kento
strangers waiting up and down the boulevard, Kento
the Ripperslist Craig
wondering where, hypothetically, Kento falls on the spectrum of most dangerous game
never leads to nothing
imagining his surprise when he opened his eyes and I dragged the lawnmower over his thighs
mowing the lawn in a bikini
the undies of Darth Vengeta
the insurgence of Dave Death
the death of Dave Insurgent
the Craigslist Ripper
wanting to get Kento his first real six string at the Five and Dime and make him play it 'til his fingers bleed and Jimmy quits the band for his birthday
Dolly tho Shoop
Dolly is derived from a mammary gland cell and we couldn't think of a more impressive pair of glands than Dolly Parton's
wanting to broil Kento a pussy rug for his birthday
I've stood some ghostly moments with natives in the hills
where the girls are pretty but they just wanna know your name
I used a reg plastic dranzer man I got wrecked by RC dragoon namsayin
hashtag songs about Ann Veal
she's hot, she's hot, she's hot, I guess she's everything I'm not, and she lives inside my head and stops me sleeping
pan fried Ann Veal
grilling a merkin, cheerio
broiling a pussy rug
boiling sugar syrup
Ann Veal
Megan Veal
all the sweet millipede jokes I've done that just flew over your head
vegan meat
In his childhood, teen, and college years, he called himself vegetarian but still often ate meat
just think, you'll be able to start making porn of yourself fucking Natalie Portman, so there's that
marrying a millipede
and my fiction is shit
thinking about all the dumb things you ever did that really backfired on you and then thinking yeah but at least I never destroyed my loving marriage for an affair that was entirely my own fiction, and then thinking yeah but I've never even been married
Foer could not take this one sided romantic tension anymore
Pokemon Jessie Payo and Spencer Nezey
hearing rhythmic ugh ugh ugh sounds in the showers at IV H
They also eliminated the practice of having children wear feather headdresses, and stopped having campers engage in "stereotypical motions and dances," including chanting "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!"
some might say earthwormlike
this is not a trial
I'm not going to box myself in here by saying I wouldn't watch it
it's very flexible
the ability to create actual footage of, say, Rachel Stevens weighing M pounds and saying "I wash myself with a rag on my dick"
fuck marry kill, Kim Bum, Sugar Bum Bum, Kimchi Kandashibum
liking to take a miniature shit right there
the ability to create actual footage of, say, Jewel weighing M pounds and saying "I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
genuinely debating whether or not to introduce Fatworld to deepfakes, because you know, fun and junk
this is how memes work, right
eating that whole thing of Kim Bum and calling me daddy
Kim Bum
cakeist, hormone drenched neo imperialism
making all that Kento x Hayden Christensen slash and then finding that you could have just paid them to do it irl instead of splashing out on a new computer to fake it
We Are Truly Fucked Colon Everyone Is Making AI Generated Fake Porn Now
I was going to be an actor or a bum
it's in the trees, it's coming
Eternal Jupiter Rising of the Jaded Mind
having never heard of Valerian but looking at screenshots and reading a plot summary has led you to believe that it's kind of like Jupiter Rising but then thinking that's not fair and most non enfranchised scifi is pretty much Jupiter Rising in your mind
finding out that the main characters in the film Valerian and the whatever of whatever I stopped caring already were not in fact supposed to be brother and sister as you had assumed from the posters
hand in unloveable flipper
same as it ever was, look where my hand was
letting the walrus hold you down
letting the days go by
you may say to yourself "my god! a walrus dong!"
pointing your tits at Tito Puente
highest occupied molecular orbital
fucky marry kill, Kento's buckyballs, Kento's carbon nanotube, Kento's amorphous carbonia
the mentor in the office who is always my rival
whoever I reached out to, whoever referred you, they were on a list of people that I was reaching out to, on a list that I received from the company
sconto bimbi educati
obviously I'd marrrrrry Carrrrrrie Fisherrr, but I'm torrrn between fucky Chrrristina Aguilerrra and Brrrian Pepperrrs
fucky marrrrrry kill, Chrrristina Aguilerrra, Carrrrrrie Fisherrr, Brrrian Pepperrrs
Carrrrrrie Fisherrr's dog Garrry Fisherrr has joined Instagram
sugarrry drrrinks
Secondairy group raising money for Christina Aguilera's penis surrrgerrry
Maine group raising money for Christina Aguilera's penis surrrgerrry
There are two naked male figures in the border below this figure, the one directly below the figure is squatting and displaying genitalia, a scene that was frequently censored in former reproductions
Goochland County
grabbing Carlos Acosta outside a chain coffee shop and screaming "WHERE DID I LEAVE MY CAR!"
sodomy, sodom you, there is nothing we can do
A Michigan man was arrested after allegedly threatening to shoot and kill CNN employees
pools of towerplays
tools of powerplays
more than a nuisance
Ponymon Blow and Suck
pony's penis surgery but sung to the tune of Christina Aguilera's Dirrrty
tearing me a new one, Lisa
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by somebody and something
ourobuggeros
it's sodomy all the way down
it always starts with Kento getting assfucked by somebody or something
amazing Regret, how sweet the 'dex
Konto, continuity Kento
sometimes himself
it always ends with Kento getting assfucked by somebody or something
Maine group raising money for pony's penis surgery tearing me apart, Lisa
staying hard, pony boy
staying gold, pony boy
Maine group raising money for pony's penis surgery
tearing me apart, Lisa
Amazon Kento sounding like a name for an Indiana Jones porno parody series where it always ends with Kento getting assfucked by somebody or something
Amazon Kento, how sweet the sound
Amazon Kento
Amazon Go
heavily laden with time expired men
getting Kento's hopes up
men toss hoser
Homer's stones
shoe monsters
eating Tide Pools
allowing a baby to be born from his or her mother's womb in the ninth month
eating Tide Pods
drawing a picture of Qui Gon Jinn desperately trying to get his Toydarian ball shaver to accept Republic credits for his ball shaving services
shaving jedi balls but not jedi master balls
having jedi balls but not jedi master balls
wasting your jedi master ball on something shitty like Sandslash
It should be called the love or sweetness of Venus
Kento's unborn bean taco
Kento's tuba bore cannon
Kento's tuna bacon boner
Kento's carbon nanotube
diamond monsters
he took us on as clients only in his mind and he did it because he really, really wanted to fuck our actress friend
Nobody, including our ancestors, in written or oral, have said they saw an ape turning into a man
Vegan Fuchen
fuck marry kill, Sweet Georgia Brown, Sweet Lucy Brown, Sweet Home Alabama
Kentovsky Labs AntiWalrus Suite
A BRONX FLAT EARTH HOOF
SOUR ABKHAZIA BEIGE
Sweet Georgia Brown
rust monsters
doing it doing it doing it doing it doing it doing it right child
bottoming for a horse in A Horse and His Boy, Kento, Kento
Kento Hufflepuff
Pokemon Wanting to Electrocute Kento's Testicles and Waterboard Him
Texas judge says God told him to sway jurors during sex trafficking trial
SimChristieMM
George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" except every "my mind" is replaced by "a knife" and every "set on you" is replaced by "stuck in me"
wanting to electrocute Kento's testicles and waterboard him until he tells you when his birthday is
George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" except every "my mind" is replaced by "Myke Hawke" and every "set on" is replaced by "stuck in"
This Song's Just Six Words Long
George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" except every "my mind" is replaced by "sand" and every "set on you" is replaced by "everywhere"
George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" except every "mind" is replaced by "monkeys" and every "you" is replaced by "fire"
George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" except every "money" is replaced by "monkeys" and every "spending" is replaced by "spunking"
bidding ur tim
I FINALLY MADE IT TO NEW YORK CITY!
that the inspiration for Size Queen has got to be in her late fifties now, at the very dilatest
just wanting to draw attention to the previous regret, which is a real, actual headline from today, and apparently not even made up
Boris calls for Bridge across the Channel
selling triangle in a merching band
merch
that the inspiration for Dancing Queen has got to be in her late fifties now, at the very youngest
the Milwaukee protocol
wondering whether the bleach blonde cocktail waitress who posed in a bikini to help put herself through junior college knew that her picture would end up on the cover of both T Rex Troubles AND Tantalizing Tentacle Fun
wondering whether Christie Sims is agenty fiftyseven
christening a dating sim with Christie Sims and Chris Christie
SimChristie
that Ryan could sell shirts with pictures of his kids on them and the words "Ryan North's Cryin' Dwarfs" and you wouldn't think less of him for it
Booker T and the MGs but it's pronounced Bookert n Mugs
Christie Sims
During my LSD sessions, I would learn a great deal
Picasso was alive he woulda made her
While a good proportion of popular culture seems to center around men jerking off, female masturbation remains a relatively taboo subject
hysteric furiously masturbating fat gay Asian man arrested outside White House threatening to kill the President
an image of Depp rolling up his shirt sleeves while advertising a perfume named Sauvage
Walruses face 'death sentence' as Trump administration fails to list them as endangered
fuck marry kill, Sean Connery, Sean Penn, Johnny Depp
Sean Connery offering to let you pet his gooch
now I see
oh wait
divorcing him won't mean spending less time with me
I want a divorce
we really spend too much time together
porking your boot at the moronoro
porking yoor boot ot tho moronoro
parking your boat at the marinara
Chooch Moron
screeching as Cheech Marin gets marina in your ear
regrets about gooch seeding
regrets about pooch screwing
drawing a picture of Indiana, the dog, being Eiffel Towered by Indiana Jones and Dr Henry Jones, sr, entitled "we screwed the pooch, Indy dot jpg"
a recut of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade which instead draws attention to Henry's abusive upbringing of his son with the exchange "We named the dog Indiana!" "You screwed the dog!" "I screwed you!", in the presence of some baffled and terrified Nazis
he picked a fight with a dog, an especially dangerous dog called Indiana
he picked a fight with a dug, an especially dangerous dug called Sand Git
Sand Git, Tatooine wrestling champion
kill marry, marry fuck, fuck kill
fuck marry kill, fuck, marry, kill
The filter also allows you to say some of the older swear words, such as sod and git
the Padawan Massacre
the death of Brian Peppers
Corroo Foshor's dog Goro Foshor has joined Onstogrom
the Falador Massacre
Apple except instead of minimalist interfaces their whole ethos is brutal functionality and every device is covered in dials that control it because they were founded by Steve Knobs
that if they'd only called themselves the Red Hot Chalupas you could also call them Los Rude Hat Chap
Mortal Engines
Corroo Foshor
keep in mind that you'll be bottoming in any case
fuck marry kill, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Brian Peppers, actual red hot chili peppers
disturbin' Dick Durbin with your dick in Durban
bottoming for 'Dick' Durbin in Shithole Destruction VII
joke's on them, they're getting Dave Navarro
New California demands concession of "one Red Hot Chili Pepper to be named now, while reserving the right for one additional to be named on a future date"
New Shithole declares independence from rest of shithole
New California declares "independence" from rest of state
Jefferson Airplane The Levi Commersials
Here's exactly how Dick Durbin destroyed Kirstjen Nielsen's 'shithole' explanation
We will show you the power of the Turk!
suspecting that "getting smuggled through the chunnel in a liquid chocolate tanker" is slang for a sex act but being too horrified to consider what it entails
In a few instances, groups of migrants were able to stowaway in the cargo area of a tanker truck carrying liquid chocolate and managed to survive, though they did not enter the UK in one attempt
the Walrus Chunnel
that's what Kento calls his asshole
the Walrus Channel
Kento got top billing, but let's be honest, the walrus is the star
In any other administration, evidence that the president paid hush money to the star of 'Fat Gay Asians VII ' during the election would be a scandal
In any other administration, evidence that the president paid hush money to the star of 'the Gorilla Channel' during the election would be a scandal
oh man, look at veg semen taco, oh
sitting in a dreamy daze by BO water's NO
sitting in a dreamy daze by the water's edge
oh man, look at those cavemen go
GLOSS DAMON
SATIN DAMON
MATT DAMON
In any other administration, evidence that the president paid hush money to the star of 'Good Will Hunting' during the election would be a scandal
the reasons why love keeps right on walking on down the line
In any other administration, evidence that the president paid hush money to the star of 'Good Will Humping' during the election would be a scandal
An Act for the more effectual punishing wicked and evil disposed Persons going armed in Disguise and doing Injuries and Violence to the Persons and Properties of His Majesty's Subject, and for the more speedy bringing the Offenders to Justice
wondering whether you've heard the tragedy of Darth Bulimis the Slim
wondering if Hayden Christensen keeps slim because he's got an eating disorder, but not out of any real concern for his wellbeing, just because you thought of Barf Vader
Elmo and the Police
remembering Prairie Dawn, but not by name, and not remembering Elmo even though he was undoubtedly in the shadows watching you as a kid
remembering Prairie Dawn, but not by name, and not remembering Elmo even though he was undoubtedly in the shows you watched as a kid
so y m key is unreliable
Meghan's EGG will GRUNDLE our IPERIAL Family
It is said that he has so much TRASH that it spills out of his TRASH CAN
DONALD GRUMP is a Grouch who has more TRASH than any other GROUCH in the world
grouches dot wikia dot com
Grundgetta
In one sketch, Bert is trying to write a letter to Mister Rogers and Ernie turns on his electric fan and blows Bert's letters away
that apparently Prairie Dawn has been around for fucking ever but you don't have any recollection of her being on the show when you watched it as a kid
Bert was caught trying to rape Prairie Dawn in the back side
a loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires and baby Bert was caught trying to rape Prairie Dawn in the back side of Sesame
literally not knowing anybody CARL FACE
literally not knowing anybody LENNY FACE
literally not knowing anybody who thinks Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black
literally not knowing anybody SAD FACE
literally not knowing anybody who thinks Meghan Markle is black
a loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires and baby
Bert was caught trying to rape Prairie Dawn in the back side of Sesame
Meghan's seed will taint your Oral Family
Meghan's seed will taint our Royal Family
they're wii fucking KENTO
they're we fucking KENTO
true shred guitar
there we fucking go
Anal Safety Snails
Gwynethwindor
it isn't any rape attack
it isn't any rap attack
wanting it to be a thing that people who are in the room with Gwyneth Paltrow start saying "mmm, steamed hams", just because
steaming Gwyneth Paltrow's hams
getting gooped by a drunken acting lady in her forties whose vagina looks like a stained sauna bench
Kentrospection
treating people as fellow humans, except Kento, because it's funny and he probably doesn't care
Adeki Otnek
he's a lumberjack and he's okay
Kento's homologs
getting groped by a drunken dancing lady in her fifties whose face looks like a wrinkled leather cooch
the "most atrocious cockney accent in the history of cinema"
leia is also named POWERFIST
the role of master comes easily to me
signed, FanMM
BBW Swan
BBC Swan
there are some disadvantages to crowns, but otherwise they're quite important things
animaniacos
Demoniacal Soup
peludomaniacos
It was a mistake made during a standard procedure at the change over of a shit and an employee pushed the wrong bottom
It was a mistake made during a standard procedure at the change over of a shift and an employee pushed the wrong button
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seventeen votes is pretty big for a Teen Choice Award
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is pretty fly for a white guy
wondering whether go around bragging to other gungans about how deep their cloacas are
twenty eighteen
I'd probably marry Tarpals, fuck Jar Jar and get it over with, and kill Boss Nass
Peppi Bow
fuck marry kill, Jar Jar Binks, Roos Tarpals, Rugor Nass
BJ's to laid off Sam's Club employees colon We're hiring
Laid off Sam's Club employees reach out to BJ's for work
bottoming for a horse in A Horse and His Boy, Kento
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is big for an Aslan
Nokko Soxx, Mos Eisley escort
the death of Bella Emberg
It is a pleasure to be here even though we were distracted by the actions of what some would call very stable geniuses
You're looking at the umlaut, and it's looking at you
wondering whether KENTO around bragging to other girls about how deep their vaginas are
at step
at step where medium sized, reddish dogs stand
a park where dogs lay eggs
foor ond twonto blockbords bokod on o poo
song o song of soxponco o pockot foll of roo
vagina time at the five and dime
canon
whispering "I'm still full of frogspawn from last night" during sex
drawing a picture of Padme getting away with murder, and also Jar Jar
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, twelve inches is too big for Anakin
Those who cross it even once will be cursed for a thousand years, along with their descendants
tortitude
bottomong
bottoming for Donnos Rodmon on Rodong Sonmon
Nokko Soxx
She chose her stage name to reflect her love of Moetley Cruee, whose bassist, Nikki Sixx, named his daughter Storm and probably some watersports
Mootloo Crooo
Moetley Cruee, the official band of alcoholic seventeen year old strippers
She chose her stage name to reflect her love of Moetley Cruee, whose bassist, Nikki Sixx, named his daughter Storm
and probably some watersports
bottoming for Stormy Daniels in Sex Lies and Spies
a place where dogs lay eggs
bottoming for Steven Inches in Big For an Asian VII
fucking Peter to marry Paul
fick marry kill, Peter Paul and Mary, the Four Tops, Henry Kissinger
Hogan Energy Extreme Energy Granules are poured directly into the rectum for fast absorption and rapid onset of energy, just like walrus semen
a place where birds don't lay eggs, and dogs don't crap
countries where birds don't lay eggs
having your YUGE fingers in a lot of shitholes
having your fingers in a lot of shitholes
having your fingers in a lot of dikes
hovong yoor fongors on o lot of poos
having fingers in a lot of your pies
having your fingers in a lot of creampies
having your fingers in a lot of pies
committing a Kentrocity
a very stable shithole
reading the comments
getting called a youtube commenter in a youtube comment
getting called a cocksucker in a youtube comment
They could use motorcycles to travel up and down the first lO floors, but had to use the stairs for the remaining levels
saying you've taken me for granted because I please you
Hogan Energy Extreme Energy Granules are poured directly into the mouth for fast absorption and rapid onset of energy, just like walrus semen
Hogan Energy Extreme Energy Granules
the character limit kind of forces an eventual stop for these things
wondering if you ever stop and think maybe we're idiots
a DAISY chainSAW LINK FENCE smoking GUN POWER convertER to YUSUF Islam, DOCTOR who comes AND GOES TO TOSCHE STATION with an outsize LIZARD QUEEN SEXUAL reputation and the NASCAR track AND FIELD VINYL record to SALT FLAT BROKEback AND FORTH DAT ASS up
a DAISY chainSAW LINK FENCE smoking GUN POWER convertER to YUSUF Islam, DOCTOR who comes AND GOES TO TOSCHE STATION with an outsize LIZARD QUEEN SEXUAL reputation and the NASCAR track AND FIELD VINYL record to FLAT BROKEback DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN POWER convertER to YUSUF Islam, DOCTOR who comes AND GOES TO TOSCHE STATION with an outsize LIZARD QUEEN SEXUAL reputation and the NASCAR track AND FIELD record to BROKEback DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN convert to YUSUF Islam, DOCTOR who comes AND GOES with an outsize QUEEN SEXUAL reputation and the NASCAR track AND FIELD record to BROKEback DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN convert to YUSUF Islam, DOCTOR who comes AND GOES with an outsize SEXUAL reputation and the NASCAR track AND FIELD record to BROKEback DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN convert to YUSUF Islam, who comes AND GOES with an outsize SEXUAL reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN convert to YUSUF Islam, who comes with an outsize SEXUAL reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a DAISY chain LINK FENCE smoking GUN convert to YUSUF Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a chain LINK FENCE smoking convert to YUSUF Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a chain LINK FENCE smoking convert to Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a chain smoking convert to Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back DAT ASS up
a chain smoking convert to Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track AND FIELD record to back it up
a chain smoking convert to Islam, who comes with an outsize reputation and the track record to back it up
it's been a crazy five years, who hasn't
it handled a lot of man goo in five years
Guy Fieri's zero star Times Square man goo chute closes after five years
making your own NY man goo chute
making your own man goo chutney
having a brand of a finger and a thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead
having a brand
feeling like it's vaguely racist or appropriative either way
possibly mumbo
making your own mambo sauce
making your own mango chutney except not because the mangos were weird when you cut them open so you just didn't bother, but you know, tomorrow
making your own balls a Myke vinegar ketchup
making your own balsamic vinegar ketchup
Whenever you examine an important evolutionary transformation, you want to learn the underlying mechanism
Gros Michel bananas
drawing a picture of Obi Wan and Qui Gon braiding their enormous light sabres together while Anakin looks on in tears
David Plowie
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, seven inches is big for Anakin
knowing hu ey
knowing de wey
listening to voices in the basement
that, to answer an earlier regretters question, yes, twelve inches is small for a Gungan
being blinded by the balls on that kid
VEDRANS deathlings
MAGOGS deathlings
gogs deathlings
The Elephant and the Bad Baby
Steamed Hams but it's edited like an episode of Arrested Development
Steamed Hams but in parallel universes
wanting to steam Kento a good ham for his birthday
Steamed hams but skinner actually makes steamed clams
Steamed Hams But Posh & Elegantly Spoken
Bhad Bhabie
oororo OOSTROLOS
oororo boroolos
Stoomod Homs bot oll tho vowols oro roplocod woth O
The show features the misadventures of two single men, working in creative advertising, struggling in their industry while disguising themselves as women in order to live in the one apartment they could afford
Soporontondont Cholmors
Smothors
Toy Story but Woody talks like Forrest Gump
Mostor Borns
Jock ond tho Boonstolk
the sickest of boo urns
the sickest of burns
drawing a picture of President Hillary Clinton standing in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shooting somebody and not losing voters
when are they not
These big vagina ladies are getting away with murder
Slamming a Glass of Glue
Coyote UGLY Peterson
Coyote Peterson
Police hunt for rapist with bittern penis after pregnant woman injures attacker's genitals
Police hunt for rapist with bitten penis after pregnant woman injures attacker's genitals
an erazor of love
Atlantropa
smuggling rats in condoms in your gut into Barbados for Johnny Depp while he's filming another Pirates of the Caribbean movie
just a lot of wasted names that don't mean diddly shit
steamed hams in its original MCMXCVI broadcast quality
Dick Swett
Steamed Hams But I've Added A Slight Reverb
Dock Whottongton
Roman pantomime was a decisive influence upon modern European concert dance, helping to transform ballet from a mere entertainment, a display of technical virtuosity, into the dramatic ballet d'action
the pantomime was known for its erotic content and the effeminacy of its dancing
the Charity of Sir Richard Whittington
Dick Advocaat
Dicks Butte
The next Dick I pickt up for her was a man of a colour as contrary to the former, as light is to darkness
Gay Simplot
wondering when specifically the word "Dick" became more recognizable as a slang term for a penis or contemptible person than as a nickname for Richard
Hector Butt
Butch Otter
the tale of ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
Mathematics of Won Ton Burrito Fields
He was spreading fairy dust all over the place
hearing about James Franco's troubles and just thinking wow, James Franco, who would have thought, wowee, what a twist that is
deliberately disabling Brian Peppers, that waffletastic fritter
Somebody's already been killed as a result of the publication of this dossier, and no harm should come to anybody related to this honest work
falling for Dick Whittington a little bit
Sand People got no reason to live
robbing Bob Ross's boss
Wuffingas
running around shouting "I am a plane"
they're just sticking out sideways, no wrists or an elbow
sometimes I feel like my arms just don't bend
sometimes I feel like I don't have a shoulder
Steamed hams but every Vth and VIIth word is replaced with "steamed hams" and "Aurora borealis"
We had our bodies measured after reaching space, and wow, wow, wow, I had actually grown by as much as IXcm!
Twink Breaks Into Colorado Home, Plays Pianissimo
Bear Breaks Into Colorado Home, Plays Piano
Hoby was a very small boy and grew up to be nicknamed "the little knight" for his slightness and short stature
some are born villains, some achieve villainy, and some have villainy thrust upon 'em
he was the villain
Hoby sued his neighbours when they came uninvited to his house, drank, played cards, mocked his religion, threatened to rape his wife, and buried the lede
as a major Hollywood director, I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie, and even though you're all young and naive, I think you might just have what it takes
It is important to consider alternative surgical diagnoses in patients with presumed Crohn's disease unresponsive to standard treatment
My dad made an awesome deal for your dad, bro, he fought, fought in the Knesset for this, bro
peeing in the aisle with Aisling Bea
canning taters with Channing Tatum
speedily following Taylor Swift
telling Taylor Swift you need these pants hemmed STAT
not really understanding why anybody would make a prequel to Your Highness but thinking The Royal Penis Is Clean probably does sound like the title
the royal penis is clean, your highness
you've got me where it hurts but I don't really care
try the waffles
your body is a Legoland
Air gun eye injuries rise CLXIX% among scruffy folk singer songwriters, study finds
Air gun eye injuries rise CLXIX% among kids, study finds
Bruce Spidersteen
spiders being forced to live in a van down by the river
the brainchild of Gabriel Hugon, a French man living in Manchester fuck yeal
you gotta bring the bread to the table, you gotta bring the bread on home
spiders trying to pay rent
Pokemon Gumbaii and Darwln
the brainchild of Gabriel Hugon, a French man living in Manchester
fuck yeal
you can tell them apart because there's no I in lowercase
fonts that make a capital I look like a lowercase l
Anakin Murders Gumball & Darwin
Anais Murders Gumball & Darwin
Look how dat boy mind me!
the all male nominees
channing the word "waffletatum"
your tatum channing up
the death of Channing Tatum
Swanning Tatum
incredibly black obese man
Chanta
channing Tatum Peppers
not channing tatumcised
channing Tatum jokes eighteen months later
kind of channing Gene Hunt, that magnificent tatum
the banjo and me, we got a feel for singing, yeah, yeah
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "channing" tatum, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables channing video, FU Tatumlink
channing one out in the tatum at church
regrets about tatum channing
looking good
fuck marry kill, Hayden Christensen, Haden Panettiere, Gustav Holst
you say Channing Tatum, I say Channing Tatum, let's call the whole thing off
fuck marry kill, Carol Channing, Channing Tatum, Tatum O'Neal
tricking a straight Tatum into Channing another Tatum
that every Christensen you get given a Panettiere and just leave it to go stale
Running Faggot
Pokemon Christensen and Panettiere
taking the hugest dump only to subsequently discover your bowel decides when toilet time is over
Myke Hawke shaking his head as Donald Trump claims he "went to the best massages"
a normal sweater is boring
Myke Hawke shaking his head as Donald Trump claims he "went to the best colleges"
Mike Pence shaking his head as Donald Trump claims he "went to the best colleges"
Kento's double
which is ironic given how frequently he gets DP'd
Kento's single
thinking we should fix Hayden Christensen up with someone
Russell Madness
Mein Busen ist C Prozent echt!
Vanning Spidum
Channing Tatum, I hardly know 'im!
it's me, Channing Tatum, I'm in the middle of Channing right now, but you can come back Tatum
Bryan Singer's The Kids In The Hot Tub
Leslie the Vampire Fag
it's the food who are wrong
I'm going to enjoy devouring you, my rumpy doppelganger
Steamed Hams but the lines are all from other episodes
Steamed Hams X times, sync point when Chalmers says "Aurora Borealis"
A United passenger befowled the bathrooms so badly the plane had a broken arm
A United passenger befouled the bathrooms so badly his pants fit better
A United passenger befouled the bathrooms so badly the plane had to land
Steamed Hams but Skinner only exists in Superintendent Chalmers's head
Steamed Hams but it's voiced by Battle Droids
steamed hams but the audio is converted to midi
Steamed Hams except it's Star Wars
Steamed Hams but it's edited like Dragon Ball Z
wanting to vent Kento's drive plasma for his birthday
wanting to van Kento's spider for his birthday
wanting to tan Kento's hide for his birthday
rain and wind and weather
somewhere wild and free, full of wishing trees
thinking we should make a walrus man baby
thinking we should really get Kento's hog tied
thinking we should really get Kento's tongue tied
thinking we should really get Kento's tubes tied
you need to get some respect, snip snap
Chris is out in the parking lot right now checking his Walr
Chris likes it raw
Kento you've got to be more careful, these coathangers aren't free
what again
getting pregananant
just trying to draw just for fun son
Pysgod Wibli Wobli Wiki Wiki Wow Wow Wow Wow Wow West Desperado Rough Rider No You Don't Want Nada
Pysgod Wibli Wobli Wiki
Pysgod Wibli Wobli
arriving in Balamory only to be told by Archie the Inventor that you took a raunchy turn, stranger
honestly not knowing who Mr Tumble is and looking up one of his videos on youtube and expecting it to take a raunchy turn halfway through because he looks like the guy who would be driving the Spider Van, if you know what I mean
on the ships
because of the semen
we don't need penis whitening in Kodiak, we're all pretty white already
Thai penis whitening trend shut down after Rihanna tweets about it
Thai penis whitening trend raises eyebrows
Penis Whitening Laser Procedure Goes Viral in Thailand
a man who's found a suitcase full of shellfish in a bus station and intends to keep working his way through it, no matter what his doctor says
Christian Cooke will replace Ed Westwick as Mickey Argyll
Tiny Train World
kind of wanting a Mr Tumble cover of Closer
maybe if Kurt Cobain had written more songs in major key he wouldn't have blown his brains out, is all I'm saying
kids today are so gloomy, it's nice to see something positive
I like it
Nirvirna Teen Sprite
the gorilla channel
A dumb dokkaebi that looks like a farmer
Stan Lee's Poo Gorilla
Stan Lee's Spoogerella
drawing a picture of Spider Man spooging passers by from the rooftops and getting a job with Marvel Comics as a result
airbrushing "rapetastic" on the side of your hot tub
Spider Man could probably just wrap the kids up in his wrist spooge and rape them in an alley
Spider Van
airbrushing "vapetastic" on the side of your van
the very idea that Spider Man would need a van with tinted windows
seeing an airbrushed Dodge "Spider Van" recently and before you could consider who might be in earshot chuckling "that's a rape van if ever there was one" to yourself
airbrushing "vantastic" on the side of your van
using Kento's CARPET to wipe up Myke Hawke for his birthday
Belinda Budweiser
Camilla Corona
using Kento's DRAPES to wipe up Myke Hawke for his birthday
using Kento's curtains to wipe up Myke Hawke for his birthday
I will have to pull Myke Hawke away
I will have to pull my heart away
lad spit anal semen, coo
stolen panda camisole
a clone's modal panties
lilac seasoned tampon
ladies connote plasma
panties colon a damsel
lonesome catnip salad
Satan demon calliopes
national space models
smallest canine poo ad
old semen lactation spa
platonic ass lemonade
Satanic seamen dollop
ascendent salami pool
coolest penis mandala
poles molest Canadian
taco mold anal penises
Canadian slop omelets
topless Canadian mole
emotional landscapes
Loxatle Mis
Dame Dix a Lot
Meow Mix a Lot
playing with Magic Johnson's son's johnson in the john
wanting to make Kento the Homosex for his birthday, he speaks for the gays
A False Bannon Had Seaside Presidents Preparing For a Cumfart Tsunami Earlier Today
A False Bottom Had Seaside Residents Preparing For a Cumfart Tsunami Earlier Today
Trump's latest on Bannon colon 'He called me a great man last night'
Savage Colon Songs From A Broken World
A False Alarm Had Seaside Residents Preparing For a Cumfart Tsunami Earlier Today
A False Alarm Had Seaside Residents Preparing For a Tsunami Earlier Today
fuck marry kill, Gordon Sumner, Steve Borden, Paul Newman and Robert Redford
wonderig whether the Szechuan Eel King is the king of all eels or just the Szechuan ones
'cause this is the naked truth, and this is the light
spending a night with the Szechuan Eel King and needing sexual healing
playing Magic with Magic Johnson's son in the john
I can't believe she washed his car
I can't believe your queen knighted that guy
imagining how confusing it must have been for Sir Mix a Lot's fans to hear the song about how he likes tits just two years after the song about how he likes butts
pooping em on the glass
Kento's dhole
putting em on the glass
the less fortunate get all the beaks
the less fortunate get all the breasts
the less fortunate get all the breaks
calling them mom's spaghetti despite the fact they are clearly mom's spaghetti
he opens his mouth but spaghetti won't come out
spaghetti comes twice in a nighttime
Corrupt Western media mocks the irresistible destructive power of Juche fueled military might
spaghetti comes once in a lifetime
That missile failed shortly after launch and crashed in the Chongsin dong, in North Korean city of Tokchon, causing considerable damage to a complex of industrial or agricultural buildings
freezing Elsa's carpet
Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidovfefe
Steve Bannon has nothing to do with me or my Presidency
Chug Patrol, starring Imroglio O'konway as Ethno VanFarignar
suspecting that Frozen Elsa's carpet doesn't match the drapes
Spiderman Frozen Elsa vs Joker w Pink Spidergirl Anna Batman Superhero Fun in Real Life
hey Mikey, did ya see all them Chugs down at the Public Gahdens, it was a fackin' Chug Patrol
"chug" sounding like it really should be an ethnic slur
Chug Patrol
big lumpy butts
Susan Kuhnhausen
Mr Balfour's poodle
banndy
Opening Kinder Surprise Eggs Christmas Freakout WTF
Young Racist Girl Gets The Answer Very Wrong
John Carpenter's Escape from Witch Mountain
Steamed Hams but Skinner intends to prank Chalmers
steamed hams but i don't know how to describe what I've done
& one Z
This pangram contains four As, one B, two Cs, one D, thirty Es, six Fs, five Gs, seven Hs, eleven Is, one J, one K, two Ls, two Ms, eighteen Ns, fifteen Os, two Ps, one Q, five Rs, twenty seven Ss, eighteen Ts, two Us, seven Vs, eight Ws, two Xs, three Ys
Steamed Hams but Skinner has PTSD
Steamed Hams but Skinner only says "steamed hams"
wanting to steam Kento's hams for his birthday
calling them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled
Blaberus giganteus, the only thing that works for me
Blaberus giganteus
the only thing that works for me
fuck marry kill, Alderaan, the Senate, this fully armed and operational battle station
fuck marry kill, not just the men, the women, the children too
people keep asking me if I've seen it and I keep saying I haven't seen any of the new ones and they give me this look, like I'm sand or something
kind of wanting to see Star Wars Colon Episode VIII Colon Shit Jet Deal just because of Ben Swolo
Myke Hawke happens to like things in urea
as served at Guy Fieri's Times Square restaurant
meat hot kidneys in urea
urea
meat hot kidneys in your area
organ grindr
coitus suppalpus
sexual organ grinders
harrrowing
Evelyn harrrows the bonnie dick
Evelyn chose the rainbow drink
Guy Fieri's zero star Times Square restaurant closes after five years promoting George Washington to the rank of General of the Armies of the United States but not granting him the rank of master
Alfonso Muskedunder
Guy Fieri's zero star Times Square restaurant closes after five years
promoting George Washington to the rank of General of the Armies of the United States but not granting him the rank of master
Steamed Hams but it's the Australian Dub
Steamed Hams but Chalmers speaks VI% slower and Skinner speaks VI% faster each time
promoting George Washington to the rank of General of the Armies of the United States
Steamed Hams but every m is MMMMMMMMMM
rubare il reggiseno di quella ragazza dalla lavanderia comune, ma era della taglia sbagliata, mamma mia
Italian Brass Eye
Italian bra sizes
Peter Martins, the powerful leader of New York City Ballet who shaped the company for more than three decades, has decided to retire
Producer slash Director Wrion Bowling and guest attend the 'Shelter' premiere at the Tribeca Grand Hotel
Stowmarket death colon Ex UKIP councillor charged with murder
Ni xiang chi wo tofu ma!
in Chinese and in dual Chinese American culture, "tofu" refers to the flesh, particularly the sexual flesh
me too
I happen to like tofu
wait, I forgot who I was talking to
that is racist
Kento's tofu and dumplings
Kento's Meat and Two Veg
Kento's Pork and Beans
Kento's Hammond organ
Kento's intromittent organ
Logan Paul Deserves "Nicer Pecans"
Logan Paul Deserves "Prince's acne"
Logan Paul Deserves "Penis Cancer"
she came out the swamps like a crazy fool
telling 'em he ain't coming home, duck joined the human race
it takes five seconds to realize that it's time to move, it's time to get down with it, brothers, it's time to testify and I want to know, are you ready to testify, are you ready for Santa with muscles
I thought that was a Hulk Hogan quote
it takes five seconds to realize that it's time to move, it's time to get down with it, brothers, it's time to testify and I want to know, are you ready to testify, are you ready
I am incredulous as to the credulity credentials you claim
Fuckhead, Aerosmith cover band fronted by Steven Tyler
Killhead, nineties one hit wonder death metal band
Marryhead, nineties one hit wonder indie band
it's us, killhead
it's us, marryhead
it's us, fuckhead
becoming wide with the Living Force
Ben Swolo
The police and St John were getting frustrated with the result and said it has to change,
your credulity is of an insufficient value
there's no point, you wouldn't believe it
tell me about it
you would not believe the year I've had
that with only ten thousand four hundred and nineteen regrets, twenty seventeen was our least productive year on record
that this regret was written at precisely twelve midnight January first two thousand and eighteen central time
bonne annee
a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching
fuck marry kill, a brontosaurus, someone who drinks out of their shoes, an enemy of Mark Hamill
fuck marry kill, Gary Oldman, Gary Numan, Gary Youngman
Bottom Royale with Cheese
Fartnite Bottom Royale
living like a dragonfly, out on the edge of the milky way
living like a dinosaur, out on the edge of the woods
living like a rumour, out on the edge of the world
I've given you sunshine, I've given you dirt
If you're going through hole, keep going
we will fight them in the bedroom, and in the bathroom, and we will never use our safeword
the Churchill Anus Society
that's how it works
Because his father was white and his mother black, Feirefiz's skin consists of black and white patches
THE ROCK JUST JERKED HELMSLEY OFF!
Quackser Fortune Has A Cousin In The Bronx
Vinny & Ma Be Armenia
Vinny & Ma Be America
Vinny & Ma Eat America
VINNY FROM JERSEY SHORE IS HAVING TO EXPLAIN CLIMATE CHANGE TO OUR PRESIDENT
the death of Jerold F Lucey
fuck marry kill, Siobhan Fahey, Siobhan Donaghy, Siobhan Dillon
fuck marry kill, Sara Dallin, Siobhan Fahey, Keren Woodward
she's got it, yeah baby, she's got it
Hitchhiker's Guide to Urethral Sounding
Beginner's Guide to Urethral Sounding
fuck marry kill, Pussy Monster, Cookie Monster, Pussycook
this is Myke Hawke bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees Get some butter, butter him up
Harrison Ford Did NOT Say Carrie Fisher "Was A Tranny," Despite Fake News
this is Myke Hawke bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
Get some butter, butter him up
looking at Myke Raff
fuck marry kill, Cookie Monster, Pussy Monster, Cookiepuss
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Guglielmo Marconi and a wireless
This guy tried to jump the gates and got his manhood stuck
When she was arrested at the scene, police said her jeans were pulled up, but her knickers were in her handbag
looking at Myke Hawke
you should get that looked at
there is thunder in Myke Hawke
Binomo
wanting to eat Kento's whole thing of kimchi and puke in Kento's bed for his birthday
When Anthony Sevy tried to pay his parking ticket in pennies, a court officer choked him, causing him to pass out and defecate himself, the man's attorney said
systemd of a own
systemd
hunting Helen Hunt in hell
losing your veal fig sins to a baby fox
losing your life savings to a baby fox
fighting for the things you know are right
wanting to lose Kento's life savings to a foxy babe for his birthday
I came in, did five takes, then beat off and had a cigarette
losing your life savings to a foxy babe
I came in, did five takes, then went off and had a cigarette
riding out the day's events, THE RIVER!
there is thunder in our hearts
pandas come from China and are communists
adult actress Cherie DeVille is considering running against Donald Trump in the MMXX election with 'XCs rapper Coolio as her running mate
Newly released National Archives files have revealed that Margaret Thatcher refused to share a flight with London Zoo's giant panda in MCMLXXXI
daddy finger daddy finger, where are you
twenty four million views
Learn NUMBERS with Spiderman & McQueen Colors Nursery Rhymes Big TRUCKS Finger Family Song
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away
all about how your life got flipped turned upside down
drawing a picture of Dickgirl Gemma Atkinson knocking one out over herself
taking Gemma Atkinson up on her offer
gunchucks
knocking one out in the bathroom at church
Spiderman Trying to Impress Frozen Elsa Baby Hulk Sleeps Gone
Every man out there is welcome to knock one out when looking at them
There is no collusion, and even if there was, it's not a crime
collusion is not a crime, but even if it was a crime, there was no collusion
They walk around blinking at each other
giving Scott Dracula hygiene products for his
giving Scott Bakula hygiene products for his birthday
giving Kento baculum hygiene products for his birthday
giving Kento frenulum hygiene products for his birthday
giving Kento Fremen hygiene products for his birthday
"Santa", whose real name is Mr Hussain
a short and serious statement here that sets out why you do what you do, without trolling, without bombast, without name calling, and without ego
giving Kento a hoser down for his birthday, eh
giving Kento a hosing down for his birthday
giving Kento neuter hygiene products for his birthday
giving Kento masculine hygiene products for his birthday
that if Anakin Skywalker was redeemed and became one with the Living Force but he was also conceived originally by the Living Force then he fucked his mum and made himself
saucy mimeographs
sexy telegrams
giving Kento feminine terror and murder for his birthday
You have to reign in that instinct to go back and put things in just because you loved them when you were a kid
the death of Alfie Curtis
fuck marry kill, planes, trains, automobiles
P!nk, Cat food cans, plastic forks, shampoo bottles and a shot glass top the list of items US doctors had to remove from Kento's anuses in MMXVII
The Curious Cans of P!nk Cat
eating pink cats and cans
P!nk, Cat food cans, plastic forks, shampoo bottles and a shot glass top the list of items US doctors had to remove from people's anuses in MMXVII
pen!s
P!nk
Cat food cans, plastic forks, shampoo bottles and a shot glass top the list of items US doctors had to remove from people's anuses in MMXVII
abusing yourself with terror and murder
sexy holograms
whippin' your nut sack into a frenzy of dik play
the ol' bait 'n' switch
exhausting yourself with terror and murder
exhausting yourself
anusing yourself with terror and murder
epic weapon skins
drawing a picture of a bottomless Roy Scheider standing over a spread eagle Deep Roy grimly muttering "we're gonna need a deeper Roy"
Bottomless Roy
Shallower But More Talented Roy
Deepest Roy
Deeper Roy
that it had been almost one hundred thousand regrets since the last bottoming for Deep Roy regret
bottoming for Deep Roy in Juicing Room VII
imagining they spunk out something blue, possibly curacao
kind of wanting to have sex with an oompa loompa just once, so you know what it's like
just like the girth I used to know
just be yourself, you'll get some eventually
there's no I in pussy
I'm our serene wet pussy
I'm our pussy sweetener
I'm your puss sweetener
I'm your pure sweetness ya filthy animal
I'm dreaming of a wide Christmas
bottoming for Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks in Yardage and Poundage VII
Pokemon Yardage and Poundage
I'm your pure sweetness
ya filthy animal
Merry Christmas, by the way
masturbating in a pubic pill bay
INTERNATIONAL YARDAGE AND POUNDAGE of a Man Who Spent Forty One Years Taking the Hugest Dump ON PATRICK STEWART'S CHEST
YARDAGE of a Man Who Spent Forty One Years Taking the Hugest Dump
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Years Taking the Hugest Dump
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Taking the Hugest Dump
the elephant probably could do it alone
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Being Eiffel Towered by an Elephant
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Trapped in an Elephant
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Trapped in an Elevator Wan Man
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Trapped on an Escalator
Footage of a Man Who Spent Forty One Hours Trapped in an Elevator
Wan Man
Qui Wan
Juan Man y su perro
Obi Gon
listen, your national treasures are Nicolas Cage
it's not every day you get to see a thirty five year old bald man
Hundreds wait for hours to see the Royal Family at Sandringham
pretty much every sex scene with Obi Wan and Qui Gon
fuck marry kill, William Carlos Williams, William December Williams, William Williams of Wern
william walrus williams, inventor of the internet
william walrus williams
this is just to say
walrus semen I drank it, per your instructions
whale semen I drank it, despite your instructions
super worth it
realizing as the farts begin that yes, won tons contain pork throbbing hard cocks
extra worth it
still worth it
worth it some more
worth it
realizing as the farts begin that yes, won tons contain pork
throbbing hard cocks
Roy Castle has one weakness
penetrating Roy Castle's postern gate
storming Roy Castle
undermining Roy Castle
A gold coin emblazoned with a crude cartoon representation of Kanye West's head fused with the body of a fish
Gervais said eating that whole thing of kimchee has led to him soiling his own bed on a number of occassions
Gervais said drinking has led to him soiling his own bed on a number of occassions
WayneCoyne
CoinCoin
not being at all disappointed
ordering won ton soup because you saw it in the Ghostbusters remake like two weeks ago
KentoKoin
wondering what happens if you try to pay for your blow job porn with AnalCoin, like does it tell you that it's not ready for that yet
FellatioCoin
DickCoin
AnalCoin
XXXCoin
GroinCoin
TittieCoin
WankCoin
SexCoin
titcoin
a mixture of chickens' livers and gizzards, fungi, bamboo buds, pigs' tripe, and bean sprouts stewed with spices
bellowing MISS DAISY
party at Kento's
man who will never attain erection says man who will also never attain erection is cheat
Man with world's second largest penis says man with world's largest penis is a cheat
Curious Can Cooler
Creflo Tulip
Chewbacca Can Cooler
Creflo BITCOIN
Taffi Dollar
Creflo Dollar
Truknutz Hawke, spice smuggler
TruckNutz
fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Mike Truk, Truk Hawke
Mike Truk
the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and chinniment halls
chinniment war
Tensions between US and Scotland rise, analysts warn of imminent chinning war
Bobson Dugnutt
Pink's penus
bottoming for Little Mix in Glory Holes
a change in the Scottish government's recent budget will remove Trump Turnberry in South Ayrshire from a business rates relief scheme
Some guys think they're indestructible, and that's what I thought too
Sleve McDicheal
Flash! Ah ahhh! Stabber of the universe
Just a man, with a man's courage, has appeared in court charged with murder after a supermarket employee was stabbed to death in an aisle at work
check your helmet and cut your tether loose
the vanity of an ancient king
just a man, with a man's courage
A man has appeared in court charged with murder after a supermarket employee was stabbed to death in an aisle at work
putting the Christ back in Christmas
Police Colon Naked carrier kills supervisor in Dublin post office, then kills another coworker
fuck marry kill, Trevor the Vampire, Candleja
Miss Bloowy, Hogwarts madam
pwning Miss Bloowy
blowing Miss Pony
blowing Miss Daisy
beeholing Miss FUCK!
deliberately disabling Miss Daisy
cornholing Miss Daisy
pieholing Miss Daisy
pieholing above the mooon
here am I shitting in a tin can
pieholing
take your protein pills and put your tether on
ground control to Major Bruce
bruiser pigs
pussier brig
big surprise
Bruce McCandless, first astronaut to float untethered in space, dies
they need to be told what they're getting wrong
I've seen you in the forums
I know
I've subscribed to both those sites
teen's ass puddle
teen puss saddle
endless updates
Heather Graham Snipples
Heather Graham's nipples
rockin', rockin' and rollin'
regrets with an atomic weight of XXX
if fat women can't get laid how do you explain you mom
if you're looking for a girl that'll treat you right you looking for her in the daytime with the light
if you're serious about getting guys to want to ruin you, you could always ask Kento for advice
if you're serious about getting guys to want to bang you, you could always ask Kento for advice
that you spent yesterday hanging out with a crush who talked about going on a date with a girl who was an old virgin, lol lol who weird it that, jk jk it you
you know just big ol fat ol sexless, funny, amorphous you
that there's this undercurrent to hearing endless stories about street harassment where, though you don't wish it on yourself, you also haven't dealt with it much and part of you feels like you're not woman enough to warrant it
piledriving
driving
An elderly couple's festive explanation for having LX pounds of marijuana colon 'Christmas'
John Avildsen had a lot of maturing left to do
watching Rocky on the airplane and feeling that it needed at least four or five scenes where Apollo Creed and his teenage goons go and try to force Rocky to sign the registration papers for the All Philadelphia Boxing Tournament
bottoming for the Arsehole Dredger in I'll Do Everyone VII
a POSTMODERN day Oscar Wilde
a modern day Oscar Wilde
the fourth North Korean soldier to defecate this year
a stranger, who appears not to be a bot, sending you a DM on twitter telling you that he likes to jerk off to girls wearing chokers
The story has no ending as the series was cancelled before a final resolution could be made
He tells McDowd that due to his bullying he will be punished for his wrongdoings by living as a dog, and that in order to be restored as a human he has to do C good deeds for others
Electricity is a fundamental part of modern society
wearing the dog's lipstick at the Dickin Medal ceremony
winning the Dickin Medal with seventeen votes
winning the Dickin Medal
psychic spies from Gyna
that there is legislation to prevent the sale of scrap metal for cash, whilst an antique firearm can be bought and sold for cash, and the seller is not obliged to keep any record
that Red Hot Chili Peppers song where they sing about California
Pokemon Curled Up and Sobbing Under the Shower
drawing a picture of Mulder curled up and sobbing under the shower
her ambitions were to move to California, become a Bond girl, own a business, and one day have a family
SCULLY NO
#rapefiles
#feelparis
the fourth North Korean soldier to defect this year
Absolute primogeniture
kind of loving Earthlink, that goddamn deliberately disabled bastard
I'm sending gummy twinks to the electric chair
using the word "Harambetastic"
meeting greeting treating meating Red Hot Brian Peppers
finding your rat's cock
finding your rat
finding your rut
the loss of these tastes is a loss of happiness, and may possibly be injurious to the intellect
finding your nitch
I'm sending gummy bears to the electric chair
Virgin vs Chad memes
breaking on through to the other side
shitting in Star Trek Lore
shitting in Star Trek lore
smelling Helena Bonham Carter's bum on a car tour
When I put on my shoes, it's so interesting
Andre MMMI
jamming the replicator with soiled PADDs until the computer says unable to comply
that the Italian wikipedia article for Andre Three Thousand doesn't call hime Andre MMM
McDonald's to sell a McVeigh burger in Oklahoma City
McDonald's to sell a McVegan burger in Europe
fuck marry kill, Lil Jon, Lil Bow Wow, Bow Wow Wow
lO,OOO or more wild maniac horses
fuck marry kill, a hundred men or more, lO,OOO maniacs, wild horses
tell me something I don't know
once you poop, you can't stoop
Yoda's Bar Mitzvah
the most beautiful girl in the world
baking mats with Matt Baker
making bats with Matt Baker
fanatical Bitcoin talibans
his name is appropriate
let's just say his name is appropriate
This WoW player calculated the size of Lil Bow Wow's genitals for some reason
This WoW player calculated the size of each races' genitals for some reason
wearing a taco stance groin rag
wearing a strange organic coat
nun kick frottage
Kentofucking rat
ratfucking Kento
fuck marry kill, Zoolander, Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander, Zachor Clitcaster O'dirge
fuck marry kill, a piece of shit, a disgusting faggot, many other things
I'm a crazy Polish countess who likes a challenge
tell me something I don't know
that I'm despicable, a piece of shit and a disgusting faggot, among many other things
fuck marry kill, Disco Duck, Dooby Duck, Destroyer Duck
trying not to suck Disco Duck, nineteen seventy seven
trying not suck dinosaur dick, agenty fiftyseven
Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander
trying not to suck your own dic, agent ninety nine
trying not to suck your own dick, double O seven
decking the halls with a large papy
FUCK!ing the bees with gay apparel
decking the halls with Armenian Apparel
decking the halls with American Apparel
decking the halls with Asian apparel
dicking the balls with gay apparel
decking the halls with gay apparel
pan decal
lap dance
Janet Clover, aka "Jazz", aka "Stripperella", filed a lawsuit in the Daytona Beach, Florida circuit court against Viacom, Stan Lee, and Pamela Anderson, claiming she is Stripperella's true creator and Stan Lee stole her idea when she discussed it during a
The lead character is a stripper named Erotica Jones who is secretly the superheroine slash secret agent Stripperella
Booby Jewel, rejected Stan Lee character
peeing stout
the FULLY FUNCTIONAL old robot saying "STOUT PEE CONDOM"
the old robot saying "DOES NOT COMPUTE"
Butch Cassidy and the Bitch Kid
The Crate Catsby
Whatever Happened to Booby Jewel
the night is young
I'm not nude
Two Nude Men Playing with Dicks
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by a monkey and a deer
babe II COLON PIG IN THE CITY
Two Nude Men Playing with Dice
babe
I just saw that article, you beat me to it, you magnificent bastard
The monkey deer sexual interactions reported in our paper may reflect the early stage development of a new behavioural tradition at Minoo
dividing your nightly profit by the number of songs you murder in your set, and handing the total of that one song over to UNHCR
Dickgirls Kingdom Colon Conquest
Eiffel Towerboys Queendom Colon Conquest
Towergirls Kingdom Colon Conquest
William "Billy" Windsor I is a cashmere goat who served as a lance corporal in the Ist Battalion, the Royal Welsh, an infantry battalion of the British Army
After obtaining the sample, Anon must take the sperm to the Mysterious Figure in the dungeon south of Skeleton P's reign
Seizure warning, she will play a scene immediately after that features flashing lights
Billy Bindsa
William Windsor, Lich King
skeletal princesses
skeletal warriors
The smell of candy on its own, with no other sexual factors, will not normally justify a search
The smell of cannabis on its own, with no other contributory factors, will not normally justify a search
Rudolf with your nose so bright, please explain what happened last night
then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to sore
all of the other reindeer joined a class action suit
if you ever saw it, well you would even say it GLOWS
I'm going beeees to sleep with my FUCK!
pitching the prequel to Scarface, Scabface
Ontario B I G, eh
I'm going home to whack one out over some colossally endowed dickgirls
I'm going home alone to sleep in my parent's bed and booby trap the house
I'm going home to sleep alone
My first is in H but not in litigation
My background is not in litigation
put it in H!
Her lawyer, Steve Zissou, said she was sending money overseas to help Syrian refugees
the Uluburun Shipwreck
You do not have to look to French fiction to see totally Janice Dickensian housing conditions
You do not have to look to Victorian fiction to see totally Dickensian housing conditions
I'm going homo to sleep with my husband
Swastika, Ontario
Max Clifford's Petit Prick
Max Clifford's Petit Prix
Kevin Spacey's Grand Prix
Roman Polanski's Grand Prix
Their use has become the subject of debate as social attitudes have changed, and some races have begun to experiment with alternatives, such as using male models instead of female, or children as mascots
I'm going home to sleep with the fishes
I'm going home to sleep with my waifu
I'm going home to murder your wife
I'm going home to wed your wife
fuck marry kill, Wee Jimmy Krankie, Dame Edna Everage, Lily Savage
I'm going home to sleep with your wife
"Wee Jimmy Krankie" was voted "The Most Scottish Person in the World" by the readers of Chinning Weekly
Wee Jimmy Krankie, true Scotsman
"Wee Jimmy Krankie" was voted "The Most Scottish Person in the World" by the readers of The Glasgow Herald
Wee Jimmy Krankie, played by Janette Krankie, poked her finger out of her trousers, electroplating a penny
Wee Jimmy Krankie, played by Janette Krankie, poked her finger out of her trousers, emulating a penis
that all jokes aside, Myke Hawke's career in another universe as the frontman of HAWKEBRAND would surely have been a thing to see
finding SURVIVE ALL Channel By Hawke Brand
pixxxxxxx
finding Myke Hawke's gray hair quite distinguished
I'm going home to sleep with Myke Hawke
Salad fear can not beat you
Robots that are on fire and in love
Ron's Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself
Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash
St Patrick's Day is a Bad Day for Coons
I'm going home to sleep with my wife
A sea captain, Captain Robert Brown has not appeared in anything else but is visualized as a lower class, drunk, seaman who came to the mansion under mysterious circumstances and is represented by a brown token
wondering what the resident regret index medical expert has to say about the possible adverse reactions of putting Colonel Mustard on one's penis
her son was the guy in five six two six six
that you aunt had a bumper sticker that said "Jedi do it forcefully"
wondering what the resident regret index medical expert has to say about the possible adverse reactions of putting sulfur mustard on one's penis
being asked to watch the Force take a shower
being raped by the Force
that entanglement could last in a bird's retina for lOO microseconds
I didn't ask her about robbing banks, and she didn't ask me about porn
Because he's a Christian and he picked it
taking a poo in Lake Tekapo
One time, she claims, "in an attack of fury" he said to her colon "I will kill you, don't think I can't"
it's a pretty shitty movie all told
that basically all of Star Trek Colon Nemesis has Bald Tom Hardy for very much the reason that audiences wouldn't recognise him as a Picard clone otherwise, since they don't look particularly alike and baldness is Patrick Stewart's defining trait
baking
France considered the RPF, along with Uganda, as part of a "plot" to increase Anglophone influence at the expense of French influence
even though they showed Picard several times young before and he wasn't bald
having not seen Star Trek Colon Nemesis but understanding there is a scene where they show a photo of a young Picard and he's bald, because apparently they were worried that if they showed Picard and he wasn't bald people wouldn't get it was Picard
A student young man XXII years old is found dead inside the National University of San Marcos, of Lima, and the most important and oldest of Peru
the thing in the prequels where they were like "well, the only Twi'lek females we've seen so far have been strippers, so we'd better make all female Twi'leks, even the Jedi, dress like strippers or else people will be confused"
Porg Lucas, Porg Jedi Knight
Porg Lucas
An out of joint statement from the theatre and the production company Out of Joint said running Rita, Sue and Bob Too would be "highly conflictual"
A joint statement from the theatre and the production company Out of Joint said running Rita, Sue and Bob Too would be "highly conflictual"
demeaning the whole governmental, political process
Fire at a homeless saltwater crocodile encampment sparked Bel Air blaze that destroyed homes, officials say
Fire at a homeless encampment sparked Bel Air blaze that destroyed homes, officials say
he's a menace to every straight person in the company
Saltwater crocodiles are especially prone to vagrancy
Chaetophractus vellerosus
It is sometimes said there is a population of kangaroos living in the wild in the township of Emance
Goochcreek
viens me cueillir Amadeus
According to the lawsuit, Goddard and Singer met the man for sex when he was a minor and engaged in acts of "gender violence" against him while in London for the premiere of Superman Returns
bottoming for Bryan Singer in Sex Men Colon Apocalypse
Roman Polanski Colon Wanted and Desired
lark, nice lark, lark, I will pluck you
Costa Rica gun horn
rain can rust gooch
Grouch Carnations
Chronic Argonauts
Kickboxer Colon Vengeance
Kickboxer Colon Retaliation
#BalanceLHobbit
#MoiAussiEh
#BalanceTonPorg
#BalanceTonPorc
Battlecreek II Colon Gookcreek
the story of the grasshopper and the octopus
For the river in the United States, see Gook Creek
that there are separate Wikipedia articles for Nigga and Nigger
breeding for France automatically means having sex with a twelve year old girl, here on the amazing Regret Index
turn on your webcam plz
wondering if breeding for France automatically means having sex with a twelve year old girl, here in the early twenty first century
stand still, I'll be done in a second
I'm rubbing off on you
that ended up being racist when I just wanted it to be homophobic
Kento 'Chinese Penis Trap' Ikeda
do you think any self respecting twelve year old French girl would want your limey sperm
Kento 'Two Way Fleshlight' Ikeda
what's the going rate
I could do that
breeding for France
London Breed
bleeding for France
Jim Crow made America great
it would certainly explain his fascination with the home of Internet Jailbait, Russia
guessing that Gerard Depardieu has been making about a dozen films about older men with inappropriately young girls a year of the hundred or so he annually completes
the way Timothy Q Mouse just whitewashes Jim Crow's help out of the picture immediately
I guess they're just really into that
that there was a cable channel that called itself "International Channel" that seemed to show nothing but Korean soap operas, boylove anime, and a dozen different French films that all seemed to revolve around twelve year old girls dating old bearded men
it is noted that the form Data's penis was "yet to be determined," though the script goes on to say "it is LARGE"
It's the little XIV year old girl and all of a sudden she's giving some guy a French exile
It's the little XIV year old girl and all of a sudden she's giving some guy a French kiss
A little more "fully functional" than usual
making three litres of vegetable stock just because you could
it is noted that the form of creature the targ is was "yet to be determined," though the script goes on to say "it is FULLY FUNCTIONAL"
entrepornography
it is noted that the form of creature the targ is was "yet to be determined," though the script goes on to say "it is LARGE"
According to The Klingon Dictionary by Marc Okrand, the Klingon name for this animal is "targh"
wondering if some entrepreneur out there is making porg porn
wondering if some entrepreneur out there is making porg pogs
targs
porgs
Roy Moore's sister revealed to be man
Roy Moore arrives on horseback to vote as sister says 'every single woman is lying' and brother says 'every single man is truthful'
Fossil hunters find man sized penguin on New Zealand beach
bants in royal David's city
X Factor Special Colon Stephen Fry on Wagner
eroding the core foundations of how people behave by and between each other, and by the way, screw you, MB
The smile I had on my face was like the Joker in Batman
Peppa does provide a welcome distraction
'Light Induced Luminescence Becoming an Outdoors Woman World of Warcraft
Hunga Tonga Hunga Ha'apai
'Lil Bow World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft World of Warcraft
Wow Wow
Jackson C Frank, cock eyed optimist
kind of loving Sheev Palpatine, that cock eyed optimist
Sheev Palpatine, cock eyed optimist
Sheev Palpatine
the cock eyed optimist
the squint eyed Southerner
having roses and strawberries coming out of your whatever
the flag of Corsica
that if Smellovision had caught on pornstars would have to eat those pills dogs get that make their farts smell like sex or candy or whatever
that if Smellovision had caught on pornstars would have to eat those pills dogs get that make their farts smell like roses or strawberries or whatever
Durer's Rhinoceros
war pigs
wondering if Chris Lydon or the walrus ever fails to climax, and, if so, whether Kento sees it as a personal failure
drawing a picture of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table in your underpants
drawing a picture of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table in their underpants
Few images of clothing are left to us of that period and real information is scanty at best
STEEL MEALS
iron rations
Josh Homme was due to appear on the Bedtime Stories series on the BBC children's channel, CBeebies
When they cry they turn red and look like screaming tomatoes
oh hai oh
oh hai matt
MARK DAMON
The result is the screenplay for The Room, which includes a character, Mark, named after actor Matt Damon
A politician on a meteoric rise murders his opposition through a pact with Satan which gives him the ability to turn into an invulnerable dog
being first pleasure, then tortured, then killed by a motorcycle cum suicide machine
your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
Bruce Springsteen's motorcycle cum sexual torture device
wrapping your legs around these velvet rims and strapping your hands across my engines
when I feel your velvet I can't help it
fuck marry kill, Deep Throat, Deep Blue, Deep Blue Something
kill Data because he's already dead I think, marry CleverBot because he has a steady job, fuck Deep Blue because I'm a size queen
fuck marry kill, CleverBot, Data, Deep Blue
Memory Alpha's six page essay about sodding Data and his sodding contractions
bottoming for William T Riker and Thomas Riker in Tea, Earl Gay, HOTT VII
the whole thing where Data couldn't use contractions that was supposed to be like "he's superior to us in nearly every way but he can't do something that simple," but then you realize that fucking Cleverbot can use contractions
Chilean sea treble
two pairs of stainless steel gates which by happy coincidence could be identified with the forthcoming marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana and incorporate their initials and the year of their marriage in the gate's design
Chilean sea bass
Operation Tabarin
even if I had written it correctly it would have been stupid
that was a failure
Nikhodd
Nidhogg
Clifford was approached by a friendly madam of a brothel who had provided one of Clifford's clients with various services, worried about publicity from an investigative reporter from the News of the World
no milt today, no homo
no scrubs, no homo
no diggity, no homo
the death of Clifford the Big Red Dog
you could also probably try to blend in fairly easily given a crowd of that size, and distract attention from yourself with liberal use of "He's over there, get 'im!"
that if a magician ever asks you if they have correctly chosen your card you will say no it was the eeight of numbers
guessing that limiting the number if men who could ever do something to a hundred or more is a deliberate tactic intended to use the eeight of numbers against such a grouping relying on the press of a crowd and probable infighting to prevent dragging away
realizing that song lyrics are often packed with hyperbole, but seriously doubting that a group of even ten men of average strength would have any trouble overpowering and dragging away any member of Toto
fuck marry kill, Daisy Ridley, Ridley Scott, Scott Mitchell Putesky
Gnome Milk Today, specialist hobbit magazine
a scub is a guy who thinks he's fy and is also known as a buter
fuck marry kill, No Diggity, No Scubs, No Milk Today
A dog couldn't catch me ass out
Giving 'em eargasms with your mellow accent
wondering if it's possible to frame an angle so Dutch that it enjoys a homoerotic moment with Carl Weathers before being sent on a secret mission for the CIA
not to labor the point but there's like twelve actual people in that video and a lot of Dutch angles to hide the fact
that Wikipedia can tell you that the librarian from Toto's Africa video was played by Jenny Douglas McRae but not who the hot chick who's kind of like a young black Carrie Fisher in Blackstreet's No Diggity video is
it's not a story the Jedi would tell you, no homo
Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto, no homo
Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto
Luigi Board
Some of these weapons are upgraded with a high intensity capacitor which compresses the galvanic charge to fire an armor piercing inert slut shot at supersonic velocity
confessing to having never really understood your fascination with Klingonz BoP
confessing to having never really understood your fascination with Kidz Bop
when, as the whole line is to the greater segment, so is the greater to the lesser
the Mount Vesuvius of original ideas
wondering whether you've heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise
it doesn't really matter who I kill because I just bring them back to life
fuck marry kill, Padme, a whole village of Sand People, all the Younglings
he's blessing the rains down in Africa and inadvertently causing a several year drought leading to famine
having no idea what the fuck is going on in the music video for Toto's Africa
Vaccinium erythrocarpum
Kento's dingleberries
Kento's winnits
the march to zero
Steamed Hams but the hams are BEES! and the BEES! are fucked
Steamed Hams but Skinner made hamburgers to begin with, so there is no conflict
Steamed Hams is the new FUCK! bees
Steamed Hams but the video is from MCMXCVI and the audio is from MMMXXVII
Steamed Hams but They Both Have Crippling Social Anxiety
Steamed Hams but minimalist
Getting Eiffel Towered with Kento Ikeda
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
In order to reach such a size, you need to inject litres into your penis
This Amazing Organization Helps Disgraced Pedophiles Rebuild Their Lives By Getting Them Elected To Political Office
No Tha, Breen general
nks
no tha
Meet HOT elderly gay singles in your area!
you're going to get the weirdest ads now
hooking up lemon party
looking up lemon party
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the motor oil into a forearm trope
In order to reach such a size, you need to insert batteries into your urethra
In order to reach such a size, you need to inject litres into your arm
drawing a picture of Bitcoin suddenly changing to Putinrouble at the press of a button as Putin laughs maniacally and the price tumbles, leaving Russia with vast foreign currency reserves
Citation Needed Colon The Page
Often, they feature a competitive element, with the "winner" being the participant able to ejaculate first, last, or farthest depending on the preestablished rules
Star Wars except Luke is played by Bill Clinton and even when the Death Star is exploding and the surviving Rebels are returning to base he's still saying "Negative, it didn't go in, it just impacted on the surface"
bullcrapping big fuzzy eyes in your Tsixteen
bullseyeing big fuzzy craps in your Tsixteen
shooting some big fuzzy craps
Lurge Geocas
chlamydiabetes
wondering how many members of Marcy Playground have so far succumbed to chlamydia or diabetes
Raisy Didley, Jedi Knight
euler numbered Star Trek movies
queer numbered Star Trek movies
it's time to take life by the cans
Raisy Didley
after hours candy doesn't sound so bad
It was a room that reeked, is all I can say, of after hours sex and candy
Five men from Ghana, who were working on the Scottish registered boat, have been taken to a place of safety
It was a room that reeked, is all I can say, of after hours sex
shining random shoes at the zoo with Susan Sarandon
wallowing in your own crapulence
Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela
odd numbered Star Trek movies
Actress Jean Kent died after TV fell on her
phonetic misspellings such as "kannon", "choppa", and "boyz" are commonly utilized in lieu of standard spelling
The Rembrandts have so far escaped justice
Bryan Singer, 'X Men' Director, Is Accused of Sexual Assault in New Lawsuit
it was fine, it didn't go in, it just impacted on the surface
drawing a picture of Red Leader and Luke Skywalker showering together
one year on Uranus is sixty years in prison, slap slap slapping sounds
one year on Jupiter is XII years on earth
carved six
sad cervix
fuck marry kill, Jean Simmons, Jean Kent, Kento
fuck marry kill, Jean Simmons, Gene Simmons, Ronald Gene Simmons
referring to Harvey Weinstein's penis as "this old house"
fighting over territory with those uncles
referring to Harvey Weinstein's penis as "this young man"
this young man could quite easily have suffocated or have been seriously injured
yeah, injections right into the penis would give him erectile dysfunction alright
Harvey Weinstein reportedly injected erectile dysfunction drugs into his penis
Larloch's Minor Drain
bottoming for Fatprick Stewart in Star Trek Colon The Next Penetration
Pokemon Asshole version outsells Prick version two to one
Their pranks range from the relatively innocent, such as looking up women's kimonos, to the malevolent, such as drowning people and animals, kidnapping children, raping women and at times eating human flesh
that there are twice as many assholes as pricks in the world
a man kiss, like really deep tongue, like very forceful tongue, it was a surprise
having always just assumed that the panty ants were going after the snatch when they could have been in it for the asshole all along
recalling Eye of the Beholder II as a frustrating experience of dying to wolves in the woods a lot and accidentally fireballing things you wanted to not be on fire and eventually a boring dungeon where your wolf feeding experience was of no use
Eye of the Beholder III Colon Assault on Myth Drannor
Halszkaraptor escuilliei
Little Foot
Jar Jar Bants
weesa fight dem onna de pubis, mons
Olypmus, home of the ogds
being continually amused that you even know who Ant and Dec are
fighting over territory with those DECS
that if anybody with an insects crawling into vaginas fetish ever wanders into the Regret Index, he's gonna be ecstatic
drawing a picture of Wikipede crawling into Wikipetan's vagina
Wikipetan's vagina
writing pubis mons instead of mons pubis because you were thinking of Olypmus Mons, probably
Wikipedia's vagina
the really nice vagina on Wikipedia's Vagina article
drawing a picture of Crotch Hitler shooting Ovary Braun and then himself as Red Army Ants breach the Reichscervix bunker
the journey from degradation to beauty
A CHICKEN in a WATERMELON
buying hash from the Bangles in Bangladesh
Planetarium Opens in New Jersey, Ushering in a New Kind of Star Wars
we're all going to die
There's no sort of systematic impact assessment
the moment you realize you're sixty nining a ten year old weiner
the moment you realize you're sixty nining a ten year old
the moment you realize you're closer to ten than to sixty nine
the moment you realize you're still closer to twenty than you are to sixty
ABA Love Cake
Wndrwll
Mom finds VIIIth graders Spotify playlist
I swa it all a Bawsten hwahbah
the CUBICLES of THE POLISH LITHUANIAN COMMONWEALTH
I swa mommy being Eiffel Towered, by Santa and a bull reindeer last night, oh what a laugh it would have been if daddy had joined in and started high fiving reindeer last night
Santa's truncheon
Santa's sack
tricking Mario into faxing Luigi
I know your notty list is emty
At the end, the three fight to hear the tape again
Alfred Molina and Alan Rickman, who were auditioning for Rimmer and Lister respectively, performed their audition from this script
Bart the General
Gerardo became known for his bandana, skintight jeans, locking, and shirtless torso
dicking old ass
licking odd ass
as they shared more experiences they came to be more friendly, even looting the Hall of the Dead together
fuck marry kill, Yukon Cornelius, Don Cornelius, Cornelius Fudge
you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man no time to talk well I lick asses without explanation unless you count the semiotics of my gait or this song I guess c'mere don't make me chase you
like "hi I really like your ass and can I please lick it" would maybe not be the ideal first date icebreaker but is likely better than the alternative of just jumping right on down to ass lick town
really feeling like there are legitimate times to explain ass licking
Slavophilia
the partitions of Poland
ass licking needs no explanation
it smells like teen spirit and sex and candy down here
Pokemon Burnt Baloney and Regrets Down Here
it smells like burnt baloney and regrets down here
Yukon Cornelius's odd ass licking fetish goes entirely unexplained
Yukon Cornelius's odd ax licking fetish goes entirely unexplained
honestly being shocked that Stan Lee has so far managed to avoid the Weinstein effect, because he seems like the kind of guy who would literally rip a woman's bra off and wipe his ass with it in front of her
Stan Lee touching Stanley Tucci's tushy
Black Swan II Colon Black Nutcracker
having been closer to fifty than twenty for three years
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room, and being likely to have got away with it too if it wasn't for those motherfucking kids and their goddamned dog
mebling rhat girl's ass in the communal laundry room
the moment you realize you're closer to fifty than to twenty
mellifying the King of Kandy
assmebling your neighbor's ass
mellifying your neighbor's ass
mellified asses
meble asses
Pokemon East End Boys and West End Girls
Crumpet Shop Boys
putting the pet shop in crumpet shop
putting the rump in crumpet shop
je souhaite que
the Kingdom of Kandy
you and the bootblack have been rogering the fishwife in the crumpet shop
rogering Clinton
fuck marry kill, Billy Beer, Trojans, healthcare
fuck marry kill, Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Malik Obama
salami's grace
a male's cigars
glass America
rascal images
miracle sagas
agile sarcasm
Pokemon Fatties and Monopeds
magical arses
calling it adult ballet because otherwise people picture your ogrelike form cavorting among the terrified chillens instead of the more likely scenario of being shouted at by a tiny sweaty muscular Russian woman in a class of fatties and monopeds
never blackening my colon again
getting hung up about a bag of enraged Doritos
also I already could of did, he reiterated, speaking of the brief and confusing encounter which has haunted him ever since
also one three zero seven three five
two five three four seven
not being able to add a regret url as a comment, probably because you already could of did
also suspecting this is just part of a scheme of yours to meet Natalie Portman on the set of Black Swan II Colon Blacker Swan
hearing the phrase "adult ballet" and being unable to envision anything other than a naked chick doing a grand jete right onto an awaiting boner
being the first suggested result on Bing Images on a browser with no cookies or history of any kind and, by that metric, having made it
intentions
still not getting around to taking those adult ballet classes you were dithering over eight years ago
Dancing
probably Trump
wondering who it was you followed on Twitter that caused Malik Obama to constantly show up in your "who to follow" sidebar thingy
writing Queen Slash Slash fanfiction
helping your Unle Jack jack off a horse
Chancellor Valorum will not act against the invasion as he too has fallen for the "incredibly large penis" trick
President Bill Clinton will not act against the invasion as he too has fallen for the "incredibly large penis" trick
Queen Slash, Senator of the Galactic Republic
you have my assmebler
our party has a fighter, a thief, and a magic user, all we need is a cleric and an assmebler
fuck marry kill, Harrison Ford, Allison Hord, Extension Cord
seeing a job posting for an "Assmebler Level III" and wondering what that entails
DAED
NO DISASSMEBLE
the UN General Assmebly
Butler and Knight argue that the moon is an artificial construction, probably built by humans travelling back IVpointVI billion years into the past
injuring Benjamin in Ben & Jerry's
being invited to slam dunk your junk by some Skips
an argument against the introduction of the metre in Britain, which he considered a product of the minds of atheistic French radicals
sexy space QUEEN SLASH SENATORS
City Slickers III Colon The Legend of Curly's Naked Ghost
sexy space princesses
astronauts on some kind of star WARS
astronauts on some kind of star trek
Busty Cops Go Hawaiian
The Devil Wears Nada
Legend of the Naked Ghost
Netflix and chill is the new jug of cocktails and smalltalk at Chili's
Geico n poos is the new Netflix and chill
Geico n poos
spoogecoin
fleecehold
accepting the hipster cum computer nerds' currency
wondering if there was an early draft of the Phantom Menace where Shmi talks about Anakin's conception during a threesome with two corpulent men, the fat guy menage
wondering if there was an early draft of The Inner Light where Picard awakes from his aparently decades long dream to find Data shitting on his chest while Riker pees on his scalp
A man collapsed with 'Do Not Dump' tattooed on his chest
A man in east Ryloth was expecting relief supplies from Toydaria but the special delivery on his driveway was not what he'd ordered
Later, Senator Bail Organa and Junior Representative Jar Jar Binks managed to convince the Toydarian King Katuunko to allow the Republic to use Toydaria as a transit point for the Republic to deliver relief supplies to the Outer Rim planet Ryloth
A man in east London was expecting a package from Amazon but the special delivery on his driveway was not what he'd ordered
A man collapsed with 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattooed on his chest
Kento Ikeda says he's sucked a lot of cock
Driver delivering Amazon packages caught on camera pooping in driveway
it must be for real, that porcelain feel
Sean Astin says he's sucked a lot of cock to get where he is today and doesn't 'want to hear that he shouldn't have had to gobble a couple of yards of Hobbit pork'
it must be your sink that I'm shitting in
Anthony Hopkins says he's sucked a lot of cock to get where he is today and doesn't 'want to hear that he shouldn't have had to gobble a couple of yards of pork'
he sees you when you're shitting
the Goo Goo Panties
Santa's nake
being shitlisted
never learning to spell Santa's nake and consequently being on his shit list to this day
Sanitary Claus
really finding it hard to give a shit about Anthony Hopkins
Pamela Anderson says she's sucked a lot of cock to get where she is today and doesn't 'want to hear that she shouldn't have had to gobble a couple of yards of pork'
Pamela Anderson says Airplane! passengers 'knew what they were getting into'
Pamela Anderson says Harvey Weinstein victims 'knew what they were getting into'
celebrating Divali with Arthur C Clarke but giving up halfway through
Sanitary Clause
Coat of arms of a Vicar SPECIFIC
very reverend, much vicar
Coat of arms of clearer vagina
it must be yousa skin dat meesa sinking in
Coat of arms of a Vicar General
technically its Wilsons Phillips
wondering how you get to be VERY reverend
for the Lord to bless Prince George with a love, when he grows up, of a fine young cannibal
for the Lord to bless Prince George with a love, when he grows up, of a fine young gentleman
the Goo Goo Ponies
fuck marry kill, Tim Allen noise, Michael Jackson noise, noisettes
the Kentoo Kentoo Dolls
wondering why Gavin Rossdale can tell a woman that she has a beautiful taste he sands her panties, but when I say it to the lady who works at the pawn shop she threatens to get her cream gun
there's a misplaced and in that one
wondering why Gavin Rossdale can tell a woman that she has a beautiful taste she and creams her panties, but when I say it to the lady who works at the pawn shop she threatens to get her gun
it must be your sink that I'm skinning in
fuck marry kill, Wilson Phillips, Wilson Pickett, Wilson from Home Improvement Tim Allen noise
I almost didn't write it, but then I was like, "hold on"
the disproportionate fame of Wilson Phillips
but then I was like, "It's twenty fucking seventeen, nobody remembers Wilson Phillips"
I almost wrote that one earlier
WILSON PHILLIPS lutefisk
fuck marry kill, the future commander in chief of the British Army, Prince George, Duke of Cambridge
if you're not nesting in a surveillance tower to masturbate, you're doing it wrong
drawing a picture of Gavin Rossdale docking with Bob Geldof while the lead singer from the Goo Goo Dolls whose name escapes me at the moment watches from that weird telescope from the Iris video and masturbates
Sexy Tooth Fairy Rossdale
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
that Gavin Rossdale is even worse than Bob Geldof for giving his kids stupid fucking names
it must be fore skin that I'm sinking in
it must be your skin that I'm sinking in
a personal grievance against the future commander in chief of the British Army, Prince George, Duke of Cambridge
Anniversary Shame of Dunblane Survivors
Judea Declares War on Germany
The Intergender Jewel Colon The World's Foreskin Problem
The Intergender Jewel Colon The World's Foremost Problem
The International Jew Colon The World's Foremost Problem
alleged incidents where Lauer made lewd or sexually suggestive comments, initiated "inappropriate contact" while alone with women in a locked office, showed his penis to a coworker, and presented an unwanted gift of a sex toy to a coworker
igunaq
big head pennah croakers
WILSON lutefisk
lutefisk
yes as it happens
fancy a Chersonese
sounds delicious
Golden Chersonese
an alleged 'golden age' when the land was cultivated by peasants and the country would be ruled for and by the poorest amongst society
Stupid TV! Be more funny!
Plunge pounds after Vote leave
The UK government has told the financial services industry that Britain will seek to develop a distinct regulatory framework from the EU after Brexit
The pound could drop almost XX% further in a 'no deal' Brexit scenario
Pound plunges after Leave vote
Something that moves XX% overnight does not feel like a currency, It is a vehicle to perpetrate fraud
his pubes looked like a hessian welcome mat
To star in a Bond movie would be bliss on a stick
wanting to make Kento a Negrito for Halloween
Heaven Ray Cox
Harvey Wallbanger, he hardly knew 'er, but that never stopped 'im before
wanting to make Kento a Negrito for his birthday
swan's inhooswanity to swan
you can drink if you want to
I'm not drinking I'm just reading about drinks which is kind of sadder in a way
wanting to make Kento a Negroni for his birthday
Many of the people you have rightly banned from entering the UK were guilty of less than this
Markus Persson, known as Notch, in a now deleted tweet said that anybody opposing the idea of a #HeterosexualPrideDay deserves to be shot
Sahar Tabar
you're just sitting around drinking cocktails, aren't you
Robert "Rosebud" Butt
Santa Claus Colon A Morality
It is named after the pseudoscientific idea that grafting monkey testicle tissue into humans would increase longevity, the idea developed by the Russian doctor Serge Voronoff
a rework of 'I Touch Myself' by the Divinyls except the singing is autotuned the music is some substeb garbage homage by some overhyped middle aged edgy dj and as you hear the words 'I FUCK! myself with a BEEEEEE' you die inside
Will Ferrell talks to you while you wee
a rework of 'I Touch Myself' by the Divinyls except the singing is autotuned the music is some substeb garbage homage by some overhyped middle aged edgy dj and as you hear the words 'I fuck myself with a big dildo' you die inside
gezundheit
Mahathammarachathirat
Robery Webber
bottoming for Martin Balsam, John Fiedler, Lee J Cobb, EG Marshall, Jack Klugman, Edward Binns, Jack Warden, Henry Fonda, Joseph Sweeney, Ed Begley, George Voskovec, and Robery Webber in Twelve Gross Butts
traveling under a dozen gross butts
traveling under a dozen gross of butts
traveling under a score of butts
he now deleted Instagram account, ATtravelingUNDERSCOREbutts, followed their adventures across the globe with pictures of their bare bottoms at famous tourist sites around the world
Katie Couric Said Matt Lauer 'Pinches Me on the Ass a Lot' in MMXII Interview
We are not holding this man's hand, we are challenging him and holding him to account
An employer that does not allow a worker to exercise his right to paid annual leave must bear the consequences
Red Hot Brian Peppers
Kevin Spacey sought as person of interest in yeti investigation
Abominable Snowman Body Parts Revealed to be Mostly Twink, Some Kid
Abominable Snowman Body Parts Revealed to be Mostly Bear, Some Dog
that the biological underpinnings of the Yeti legend can be found in local bears
breast meat
You can log into Irish Camera Hogs as root with no password
You can log into Orgasmic Hairs as root with no password, eh
Morlock piss
Eloi musk
You can log into macOS High Sierra as root with no password
Pepsi Cola Addict
the death of Glenn Hollinshead
she'll think I'm Beong Tse, just because I've written a little red book
my little red booook
she'll think I'm Mao Tse Tung, just because I've written a little red book
shameful speculation containing not a bit of truth
Pornthip Nakhirunkanok
Devil's Worm Bras
Brave Miss World
wondering why they never made a Titanic II with Jack clinging to the underside of the door, floating his way into New York seeking revenge in a CGI extravaganza that would cost half a trillion to make and age poorly but also make everbody involved even ri
lace scissor
classic Rose
Rose murdered Jack for artistic reasons
things happen for artistic reasons, not for physics reasons
snozzberries
pineberries
strasberries
The country of Hindustan is extensive, full of men and full of produce
Mustafa Tuna, I just met it!
Mustafa Tuna
Polacos
Kuntboi Kento
hautboy strawberries
Donkle is a distant relation of Prince Harry
Markle is a distant relation of Prince Harry
As an anonymous IP user kept adding "harmonica" as one of Bono's instruments, other editors kept removing it
kollong tho C%fornoo gorls
solve for x
#y%
l%
#VOLO
V%
if you can call that animalistic cavorting love
She is the love interest of almost every Smurf
Ari bn Bem, may his tribe increase!, awoke one night from a deep dream of peace, and saw within the moonlight in his room, making it rich and like a lily in bloom, an Andorian writing in a book of latinum
Ari bn Bem
Smurfette's dog Smurfpet has smurfed Instagram
Another Straight Smurf
Straight Smurf
Magnificent Bastard Smurf
Harambe Smurf
Proletarian Smurf
Producer Smurf
Rapier Smurf
Priapism Smurf
Gynecologist Smurf
Incontinent Smurf
Zookeeper Smurf
Actuary Smurf
Pastrycook Smurf is the Smurfs' residential pastry cook
moving eleven hundred miles from the Reid brothers
smorfing tho Colofornoo smorfs
having to walk five hundred miles and having to walk five hundred more in around eight hours from now
smirfs
having to smurf like two hundred smurfs in around eight hours from now
having to drive like two hundred miles in around eight hours from now
not liking smurfs, they're blue and smurf and repetitious, and they smurf everywhere
Clockwork Smurf's favorite trick is eating smilax leaves, turning them into hot smilax soup and giving them to his fellow Smurfs
smurfing them all, and not just the smurfs, the smurfettes and the smurflings, they were like smurfs, and you smirfed them like smurfs
North Smurf Country Blues
sounds like it's off to a good start
Ministers to launcgh UK's post Brexit economy plan
Southern Smurf, better keep your head, don't forget what the good book said
Southern Smurfs, you got nothing to lose
doing Smurfette jokes eighteen smurfs later
lousy smurch weather
smurfing one out in the smurfroom at smurch
Twelve Smurf Jar Jar Binks
keeping a smurf opener in your dresser just in case it's a little too hard to enter the Forbidden Forest
spam smurfers
keeping a smurf opener in your dresser
smurf fritters
regrets about pony smurfing
for instance, the Northern Smurfs called a certain object a "bottle smurfer", while the Southern Smurfs called it a "smurf opener"
it was revealed that the smurf village was divided between North and South, and that the Smurfs on either side had different ideas as to how the term "smurf" should be used
your dyslexia smufring up
being smurflisted for smurfing a smurfy colon
being bluelisted for having a smurfy colon
not getting smurfcumcised
Smurfette agrees to let them smurf her and together the four smurf the Forbidden Forest
Smurfette agrees to let them join her and together the four enter the Forbidden Forest
Smurfs Colon The Lost Village was dedicated to him, as he had provided the voice of Clumsy Smurf
fuck marry kill, Homer, Ozzie, the Straw
DARRYL Strawberry, Arkansas
Strawberry, Arkansas
the atmosflat
being blacklisted for having a colon feely
being blacklisted for having a leafy colon
ll%
URANUS omni directional mobile robot
lO%
Gunther spreekt Nederlands zacht met een gebroken kaak
too soon
all the brave semen lost in the MMIV cumfart tsunami
mooning to sailor cum
cumming to Sailor Moon
crawling to the moon
Watch Every Episode of Friends Simultaneously For A Chance To Eat Rachel's Trifle
Watch Every Episode of Friends Simultaneously
having the time to listen to me whine
Gunther spreekt Nederlands
soft spoken with a broken jaw
just thinking that a fortyish anybody probably shouldn't be hanging around in bars dressed like a refugee from the nineties and going for the naive defenceless heroin chic waif look
we're all just different kinds of spectacle in the end
having no regrets about eating out Natalie Portman other than not having done so
the spectacle of a nearly forty year old man still acting and dressing as he did twenty years ago to try and be the 'interesting' one but knowing he's a failed father and a terrible person generally
seeing all your old deadbeat friends in a new deadbeat setting and pretending not to recognise them all night because jesus f god who needs that back in their life
Swanuel S Jackswan
marrying a handsome arthropod
sharing a room for the first time in years
not actually knowing whether swans have duck or ratite or gooselike penises or hemipenes like chickens or simply cloacal openings like songbirds and long story short being so distracted that you haven't prepared a dickgirl joke
being blackswanned for having a leaky cloaca
regrets about eating out Natalie Portman
sucking her left wing until she had a swangasm
regrets about eating swan
swaaans
swans yo
wondering what it says about me that the first black swan who came to my mind was Natalie Portman
she's an attractive, successful swan
fuck marry kill, Samuel L Jackson, Jay Z, Dred Scott
using up your RIKER like two weeks early
forgetting your charger
using up your data like two weeks early
fuck marry kill, Samuel L Jackson, Samuel Johnson, Dickgirl Elly Jackson
you're so pretty it makes daddy big
so basically either you regret not hooking up with Samuel L Jackson when you had the chance, or you're dragging around some pretty big daddy issues
he's an attractive, successful man
wondering what it says about me that the first black guy who came to my mind was Samuel L Jackson
Kento will be Eiffel Towered by Samuel L Jackson and a melanistic walrus for victims of Egypt mosque attack
Lights will go black at Eiffel Tower for victims of Egypt mosque attack
Kento has not earned his nerd wigs
Kento has not earned his red wings
wanting to bleed in Kento's mouth until it shoots out his whatever for his birthday
wanting to fart in Kento's mouth until it shoots out his nose for his birthday
pulling 'em off
pulling 'em out
Necker Island, I just met 'er!
Richard has no recollection of this matter and neither do his family and friends, who were with him on the island at the time
that's what I said
you stupid idiot
making the wrong cake badly, twice
'World's sexiest weather girl' shows off curves in risque Eiffel Tower video
A tiger broke out of a circus in central Paris and roamed streets just south of the Eiffel Tower before its circus handlers shot and killed it
waking up to aspiration pneumonia
being blacklisted for having a leaky colon
having a leaky colon
supposing we shouldn't really be surprised that a year later Trump still doesn't understand what TIME's Person of the Year is actually about
wondering what you got blacklisted for
surprise regrets
streaming video from you
leaking video from you
Smoke Rings was unavailable for comment
WATCH Colon Leaked Video Alleges To Show Malia Obama Blowing Smoke Rings
the death of Rosemary Billquist
stabbing Will Smith with a corkscrew, pig willy style
Rebekah Vardy says it's sexiest to make women be penis on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here
signed, Rebekah Vardy's first husband who wants to see her suffer apparently
Rebekah Vardy needs to get her tits out and shut up
Rebekah Vardy says it's sexist to make women eat penis on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here
She really was solemnly telling me that we had got to have prison ships because she had got some more campaigns coming, which is one of her specialities
scar tissue that I wish you saw
Joke of the Day with Liv Aguilera
Pornstar Joke of the Day with Cassidy Klein
Pornstar Horror Stories with Kento Ikeda
Pornstar Horror Stories with Claire Robbins
Johnny Depp Spends $XXXk a Month on Milk
These organs relied on blood pumped from their two hearts
Johnny Depp Spends $XXXk a Month on Wine
the picture for the article "Mundi family" on Wookieepedia
fuck marry kill, James Doohan, Han Solo, Napoleon Solo
seeing Saruman saw a man in half
jailing bimbos with Jimbo Wales
Gandalf the Alt Right
doing Dallas eighteen months later
wondering if Middle Earth wizards choose the colors of their robes by what they're into sexually, like the handkerchief code
doing Harambe eighteen months later
He is a close friend of the Narts
Facebook said on Wednesday that it planned to roll out a new tool later this year to help figure out if that new page you followed on Facebook or account you added on Instagram was secretly being run by Russia's troll army
the Collins Planet
the Gabriel Planet
the Genesis Planet
I am Commander Starfleet, so I don't break rules
spooning Radagast the Brown
Gandalf has a Heroin Hobbit
Giant Haystacks has a Heroin Habit
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has lithophallus
Andre the Giant Has Acromegaly
I'll be there for you, when the bills start to mount
could this medical care BE any more expensive
By candidly confronting the reader about whether money and wealth 'should' make a difference in the quality of medical care, Chandler launches an incredibly bold social challenge
bottoming for Big Willy Bradford in Ply to Mouth Rock Hard Colon Spanksjizzing CCCXCVII
Our reporters note that European nationalist passions are once again on the rise
An Australian school has covered a statue from view because of its "potentially suggestive" depiction of a saint handing a loaf of bread to a boy starring George Takei and Kevin Spacey
wanting to hand Kento a loaf of bread for his birthday
that twenty years on the main thing you take away from the Torn video is that Natalie Imbruglia cannot hit a mark to save her life, even with a single static camera and continuous coaching
it's not a day for work, it's a day for catching sun
The Alsatian pictures are absolute rubbish
In January MMXV, they moved together to London, but separated in November MMXVI via a cliche posted on the social networks
An Australian school has covered a statue from view because of its "potentially suggestive" depiction of a saint handing a loaf of bread to a boy
starring George Takei and Kevin Spacey
Bryan Singer's Robin
I know that comic book nerds will buy fucking anything, but who the hell wants a story starring a boy who is basically defined as a pederastic relationship
that there was a Robin comic
Death By Chocolate but instead of being a sickly cake or sachertorte it's a supervillain and the series of small boys trained by a billionaire sociopath to fight it struggle to defeat it for weeks but in fact it is a cake after all
There was a storyline in a Robin comic where the writer wanted the female villain to be tricked by chocolate
those goddam Pokemon
contriving to be naked in their presence, groping and making lewd phone calls
I Fucked Your Death Star Oh Yeah Well I Fucked You Mom Beach
Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere Desert
Crazy Old Wizard Lake
Dying Of Sadness Canyon
Anakin Sand Flats
rubbing the lotion on its skin in the bathroom at church
Nostromo Chasma
it rubs the Chansey on its skin or else it gets the hose again
Mordor Macula
Kubrick Mons
Pokemon Frogs and Snakes Through the Hose
We would get frogs and snakes through the hose
doing it with a big, soft kind of loofah
the death of Senor Slamchan
the death of Norm Slashcane
the death of Ron Cleansmash
the death of Ms Anal Scorn, eh
the death of Sam "Arch" Nelson
the death of Lorn Shamecans
the death of Dickgirl Rachel Mansons
the death of Rachel Mansons
Pokemon Milk and Juice
if they had no idea that milk and juice had anything to do with each other, they would have performed similarly with both types of displays
the death of Lance Hornmass
bottoming for the Koch brothers in I don't know something about money I guess
wanting to make Kento a Kock pouch for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Kock pouch for his birthday
running a train on Willie Mays in Runcorn
the mansion of Death Charles
the death of Charles Manson being torn to pieces by a crocodile
the constant anal play PFENNIGS
the constant anal play marks
the death of Charles Manson
every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland
his fat ass just kind of spills over and the constant anal play marks the distinction
wondering how they divided Kento up between the "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit and the "Fattest Things of All Time" exhibit
North Korea still relies on human excrement to run its government
North Korea still relies on human excrement to fertilize its fields
ranked with such not wanted nations as Chinese, Japanese, Bulgarians and Turks
I keep you hangin on for shits and giggles, which is two reasons
once using your waffle iron to make a kind of revolting half boiled half burnt fritter of tofu soaked in a do g of demented version of teriyaki
being mesmerised by the Anca cover of 'you keep me hangin on for no reason'
I don't need you to care, I don't need you to understand, yeah
buying ceramic rabbits from Bonnie Tyler
being mesmerised by the Anca cover of 'you keep me hangin on' for no reason
cooki g a he pla e arium
once using your waffle iron to make a kind of revolting half boiled half burnt fritter of tofu soaked in a ki d of demented version of teriyaki
not getting waffletastic spam fritters
kind of blowing Spam Pony, that magnificent fritter
regrets about pony fritters
The Circlejerk Writer
LOLITICS
wondering if monkeys at the zoo get turned on by knowing we're watching them do it
with a monkey
shouting "ach du liebe! For you ze var ist ower, amerikanischer" during sex
The Circleville Writer
monkey scientists noted that female Germans could increase the vigor and amount of pelvic thrusts made by the male by shouting during intercourse
shouting "You damn dirty apes better not be screwing again!" at the zoo
German scientists noted that female monkeys could increase the vigor and amount of pelvic thrusts made by the male by shouting during intercourse
Drumpfs like a truck truck truck throngs like what what what
throngs
awww shitnuts
a cool sand tempter
undercolored pants meat
meat colored underpants
flesh colored underpants
OH MY FUCKING CHRIST CAN THEY NOT JUST AGREE TO FUCKING DISAGREE
POLITICS
buying absolutes futures on the Sith exchange
T'tump, Vulcan janitor
emitting pennis
Ttump wants a "much nigger" penis in the sky
emitting remmus
just the two of us, drawing penises in the sky, just the two of us, you and I
US Navy declines to name guy
US Navy admits aircrew drew penis in the sky
The survivor of this appalling abuse has shown incredible bravery in speaking out and it is vital she now gets the support she needs to attempt to recover from these horrendous experiences
We all bring our own struggles and our own trials into public lif
only a Sith deals in absolutes
only a monster would pick Mel Brooks for the kill
I'm pretty sure you could kill Mel Brooks if you had the element of surprise and a weapon of some sort
I would be an appalling dictator
it's like the Traveling Wilburys except every song is sexy trash and you don't have to listen to a bunch of old dudes singing unsuitable harmonies
I'm still pretty busy trying to sign Michelle Williams, Rachel Stevens, Elly Jackson, and Mel C up to my pop and disco covers supergroup, Scanties
again there are some very real practicalities to consider
fuck marry kill, Mel Brooks, Mel Blanc, Mel B
I just don't think I have enough drugs to get Mel B to marry me, and I'm pretty sure she can easily overpower me
so, I'll record that as a "kill"
also she caused Emit Remmus to be written
she was the only one who consistently seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself
Mel C was always the best
fuck marry kill, Mel B, Mel C, Sideshow Mel
fuck marry kill, jelly, milkshake, infinity guitars
just the thought if choosing makes me wet my knickers
fuck marry kill, Sara, Siobhan, Keren
accepting that Beyonce always seemed more lively but still thinking Michelle was by far the prettiest
betting what first attracted Beyonce to Jay Z was his ability to simply buy new property in which to warehouse her jelly
wondering what a man's parents think when they find out he died being blown up by a pony
your pony blowing up
your pony rearing up
fuck marry kill, Kelly Hu, Michelle Kwan, Beong Tse
asking Angel how her Charlies get down like that
asking Charlie how his angels get down like that
In the last fifty years I was sexually intimate with approximately L very attractive females
wanting to see a supercut of all the hand severing scenes throughout Star Wars set to the part of Independent Women Colon Part I where they encourage the listeners to throw their hands up
febreezing those vd's
bazukaing that verruca
he died being buttfucked by a horse
Paul Raymond had a boat on the south of France called Veste Demitte
The Nazi tax man has finished me as well
Be ashamed, Alex
fuck marry kill, LaTavia, LeToya, Farrah
Girl's Tyme
something something bootilicious something jelly wrestling something Destiny's Child something premature ejaculation something no no no something get on the bus
what if they had jelly
Alf Garnett
I depend on meat
so I guess just fuck 'em all
you can't marry them, they're independent women
you can't kill them, they're survivors
fuck marry kill, Kelly, Michelle, Beyonce
meeting Bryan Singer at a rave
Glow stick blows up in kid's face
A short lived Hollywoodland character who was the self proclaimed "Vice President of Winning"
Spacey's dong has got it goin' on
So, metal cyclopsrd, yeah
Kentboo Spookeda
Sen Al Franken to colleagues colon Please probe me being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a Hollywood machine
Sen Al Franken to colleagues colon Please probe me
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a Hollywood machine
As he walks out of the restaurant, he is joined by a chorus of men who rebel by not only eating Texas Double Whoppers, but also go commando, lift a minivan over the side of an overpass, and unfurl a banner which says "Eat This Meat"
Burger King chief financial officer, Josh Kobza, said that the "creepy" character was phased out because he "scared away women and children" from the chain
RIP Iam Hungry
A short lived McDonaldland character who was the self proclaimed "Vice President of Snacking"
Meanwhile, Wilma Slaghoople wants a normal life and activities, like bowling, despite her controlling mother Pearl, who wants her to marry smooth casino owner Chip Rockefeller
fuck marry kill, Jar Jar, Maria Yarjah, the Flintstones
Pokemon Shipwrecked and Comatose
bottoming for Stephen Dong in Stephen Dong's The Pork Tower VII
drawing a picture of Kento being Dark Towered by Stephen King and IT!
Hollyoaks
your boobs buying Hollyfood on ebay
kind of loving Gene Hunt, the Hollywood bastard
using the wood "Hollytastic"
Hollwyood
stealing that Hollywood girl's Hollwyood bra from the Hollywood laundry room
stealing that girl's bra from the Hollywood laundry room
meeting the Hollywood Brian Peppers
the defendants replied "OH MY GOD A TALKING HAT"
usually it's in the mayonnaise
The crown said postmortem tests showed Hamburgler's semen inside and on the victim, as well as "unusually" under Burger King's fingernails
The crown said postmortem tests showed Burder's semen inside and on the victim, as well as "unusually" under King's fingernails
Some of the abuse is thought to have taken place at hotels and at Greater Life Christian Center in Toledo, where Mr Haynes was a pastor and used his telephone to record the sexual assaults, prosecutors said
sexual assault is coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere
Less than a month ago he posted a message saluting women who have shared their "Me Too" stories and said all must sand with victims of sexual harassment and violence
your Holylowod dyslexia flaring up
not getting Hollywood circumcised
Kento's fishing reel
Kento's jizzing reel
regrets about the Hollywood pony blowing
killing the Hollywood girls
the Hollywood amazing Regret Index
you can lead a hearse to water, but you can't make it sink
the Hollywood Bowel
signed, Worker's Party of Korea
We don't want another Christopher Lydon in our asses
Kento's fo shizzle real
We don't want another Roman Polanski in our asses
We don't want another Roman Polanski on our asses
We don't want another Roman Polanski on our hands
promoting oralism
Weinstein monitored the progress of the investigations personally
Words With Friends II Colon Fuck Your Words And Your Friendship My Words Are Unmatched
Kento's gag reflex
a period in Middle Earth so boring that Tolkien didn't even write about it
Kento's gag reel
Wikipedia is not an appropriate place to peruse relationships or sexual encounters
Kento's XX subscribers
Pokemon Awkward and Shit
the Hollywood Kento Ikeda
learning that you can make anything sound awkward and shit simply by prefixing it with "the Hollywood"
Eggbox Swan
Kento's sizzle reel
Dan Quaeda
the Muttonhead Quail Movement
Wikipedia is not an appropriate place to pursue relationships or sexual encounters
drawing a picture of Gordon Ramsay giving Kento a Dutch oven for his birthday while screaming "It's fucking RAW!"
getting Dutch ovened
getting gaslighted
getting blacklighted
getting blacklisted
Real life "Grimace" chokes to death in McDonald's in Maryland
Real life "Hamburglar" robs McDonald's in Maryland
MMM ellipsis Homer
wROOSTER news of the disaster of the AVATAR reached the ONices, the ONicials were too afraid to leave the building, and instead read the names of the deceased from the balcony
when news of the disaster of the AVATAR reached the offices, the officials were too afraid to leave the building, and instead read the names of the deceased from the balcony
when news of the disaster of the Titanic reached the offices, the officials were too afraid to leave the building, and instead read the names of the deceased from the balcony
the Pinchin Street torso
bottoming for Will Sniff in After Snerg
bottoming for Uncle Fill in Buttstuff Banks VII
Mustn't Sniff
Buttstuff Banks
Mustn't Smith
Can't Smith
never quite getting either the appeal or longevity of Howard Stern, least of all after that awful, awful movie
Won't Smith
For decades, I have played the part of a 'naughty Asian grandpa' when I visit Howard's show, a caricature I now regret
For decades, I have played the part of a 'naughty gay grandpa' when I visit Howard's show, a caricature I now regret
Ferry McFerryface
toothwalking seahorses
he says "I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee"
Will Smith's custom will writing service, Will Smith Will Smith's will smith
Will Smith is calling upon all Wills Smith
Will Smith is calling upon all Will Smiths
A restaurant in Michigan named Trattoria Funistrada used funistrada in the name for its restaurant
that's unusually specific
buttered ermal
braised trake
wondering what you died of this time
a crossover sequel to Inner Space and The Crying Game where scientists wrestle with the ethical implications of medical intervention in cases of gender dysphoria, The Prion Game
evacuating that girl's wonderbra in her moment of triumph
a continuation of travesti portrayal of female characters by male actors in drag
The Sun is ablaze with outrage about drag queens teaching small children
regrets about anal baking
regrets about cello blowing
challah being such a pain in the arse to make
I thought Squidward played the cello
vaccinating Peter Aalbaek Jensen's pigs
#SexyRemembrance
being a paty gil in a paty wold
paties
Irishing Willie Mays' coffee
putting Cornish paties on Willie Mays's willie
putting Cornish pasties on your nipples
regrets about spam bastards flaring up
your magnificent dyslexia kind of sucking
da Twinks
packing bears with fudge
an Army Air Corps sergeant, physical training instructor, and member of a Chicago fudge packing family
an Army Air Corps sergeant, physical training instructor, and member of a Chicago meat packing family
Big Bugs Are Having Sex on Your Face Right Now
winning the Ryder cup on Winona Ryder's lawn
Stephen King as ATM Man
Some people are kind of Scottish, or maybe, um, uh, afraid, and you're trying to persuade
Some people are kind of skittish, or maybe, um, uh, afraid, and you're trying to persuade
first skype, then affection
giving in this time and showing me some affection
If we put strict limits on Eastern European migrant labour or devise alternative immigration policies that limit so called 'low skilled' labour, the Cornish pasty industry is finished
If we put strict limits on Eastern European migrant labour or devise alternative immigration policies that limit so called 'low skilled' labour, the Cornish horticultural industry is finished
he said he absolutely did not meddle in our election
running a train on two ho's
Attack of the the Goose
I'll speak a little louder, I'll even shout, YOU KNOW THAT I'M PROUD AND I CAN'T GET THE WORDS OUT OHHH IIIIIIIII I WANNA BE WITH YOU EVERYWHEREEEEE
Sex toy company admits to recording users' remote sex sessions, calls it a 'minor bug'
waterfowl tautology
what's goose for the the goose is goose for the goose
what's good for the Goose is good for the Goddard
bugakke
Gary Goddard Denies Anthony Edwards' Goosing Claims
Tiny Bugs Are Having Sex on Your Face Right Now
The next thing I remember I was coming to and he had my pants down around my ankles and he was groping my crotch and trying to get my underwear off and feeling me up at the same time, trying to get his hands down my underwear
ogling a lovely lady's bottom
Good King Wenceslas Eiffel Towered Kento with a walrus
running a series of empirical tests involving the Jewel Rachel chimera to define the ogleability of breasts and asses relative to one another
signed, Stan Lee apparently
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon cumming like a raging rapid river as his bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis wends its inexorable way through Kento's gastrointestinal tract from booty to tooty
drawing a picture of a dude ejaculating through Kento
drawing a picture of a dude ejaculating in Kento
I've never heard someone say "he was totally ogling her ass"
wondering if it is possible to ogle something other than breasts
the Optical Gravitational Lensing Experiment
Anakin Skywalker, sand hub
having the high ground but not being granted the rank of husband
half the fat, one third fewer calories
twice the pride, double the fall
I stabbed someone to death, Obama is 'so black and arrogant'
draining the Rock's johnson
X was like and you can't stop me and walked out the door and I was like whatever
Dr Crusher has the cure for the common cold but has never heard of antihistamines
Geordie and Data fly through a wormhole while everyone ignores Troi being gaslighted by an MRA shitbag
Re colon scam
as long as we figure out how to start uploading our consciousness into computers before the rise of the machines, we'll be okay as far as I understand it
The rise of the robots has sparked concerns that machines could put travel and tourism workers out of jobs
Zheng Jiajia had grown tired of pressure to get married so he turned to Yingying, a robot spouse he constructed last year
I'll still get a nice hand job before my penis is ripped from my body leaving me to bleed to death
regrets about pony dyslexia
sooner or later he's going to rebel
you know that it won't end well
he gives me what I want, unlike you
I can't believe you're still two timing me with that robot asshole
that cleverbot seems to have reached the point where every conversation falls apart in like four lines
hitting the road, Jack, no homo
accidentally ripening a padron to full blush and wondering if you have discovered a food fad you can monetize
doin the puppers of the revolution a hecka bamboozle
coming all over Kevin Spacey
coming over all Kevin Spacey
hey step off I'm the one doing this thing, you're the audience
Court rules suspect's request for 'a lawyer dog' is too ambiguous
look, everything is negotiable, but let's just do this thing
I don't see why you can't settle for furiously flapping bedclothes
I mean, you gotta get your dick out, but anything beyond that is up to you
it was strongly implied
I never said you have to take your clothes off
I think the lines gets crossed when you take all your clothes off and start masturbating on Skype
drawing a picture of John Avildsen asking his son if he was REALLY serious about getting the HOLE of Snake
I think the lines gets crossed when you take all your clothes off and start masturbating
We can change our minds at any stage of the process
drawing a picture of John Avildsen asking his son if he was REALLY serious about getting the WHOLE of Snake
drawing a picture of John Avildsen asking his son if he was REALLY serious about getting the part of Snake
Mr Parker was played by Justin Timberlake
If Mark hears this he's probably going to suspend my account
a bee would never harm another B
Pokemon Forcibly Ejaculating On Woman and Exposing His Penis To Another
Steven Seagal has a spinning Bey Blade that could fell an oak tree
wondering how long it will take for Roy Moore or some other asshole to cite Lot's daughters in defense of his assholery, paying particular attention to the context of Sodom and Gomorrah, but possibly leaving out the attempted pimping Lot tried there
Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter
wondering how it is possible that someone named Luther Strange is not a comic book villain
having a spinning back kick that could fell an oak tree
not actually knowing who Jeremy Piven is and being concerned that this makes him liable to sexually assault you
either masturbating in a woman's presence or expressing an interest in doing so
Jeremy Piven Accused Of Forcibly Ejaculating On Woman & Exposing His Penis To Another
It was notable because we don't usually hear anything
real talk though the moment they start seriously talking about Yuuzhan Vong I will leave this shitty planet on my rocket of contempt
hopefully we'll get back to stories that matter about magical gifted wizards who are better than us all and the creepy relationships they may have used their powers to start
hoping that they move away from the Skywalkers and get back to the important things in the Star Wars universe, like force sensitive trees
Seagal has cemented his position as an accidental comedy savant
Rian Johnson's Star Wars Colon Ugnaughts trilogy
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt is an energy drink as unique as the man who created it
I'm not going to lie, I kind of want it to be a tree movie
In shepherding this new trilogy, which is separate from the episodic Skywalker saga, Johnson will introduce new characters from a corner of the galaxy that Star Wars lore has never before explored
stories that begin "He told me how important it was to have chemistry off screen as he sat me down and unzipped his leather pants" but don't end with "so I heated his hand in a solution of weak nitric acid because chemistry is my passion"
taking Steven Seagal's moistmaker
He told me how important it was to have chemistry off screen as he sat me down and unzipped his leather pants, but he couldn't get them off because they shrank and he was considering making a pair of paste pants out of baby powder
penal tarts, eh
planet haters
panther tales
teat shrapnel
elephant rats
leather pants
krokodil
He told me how important it was to have chemistry off screen as he sat me down and unzipped his leather pants
Geneticists have shown that former American president Thomas Jefferson, who might have been of Welsh descent, along with two other British men of the LXXXV British men with the surname Jefferson, carry the rare Y chromosome marker T
Chong says that for several years after the incident, Seagal would leave "sex messages" on her answering machine
Big Luther Strange
I thought, how nice for him to want to take care of my little girl koeksusters
vetkoeks
I thought, how nice for him to want to take care of my little girl
koeksusters
Spunow
eBay removes 'things you can afford that are as described when purchased' listings
eBay removes 'Hawaiian sand' listings
listening by proxy
the absurd amount of Michael Jackson that commercial radio stations play, apparently glossing over that troublesome Culkin buggery stuff with the same ease they gloss over the fact that most of it just isn't very good
radio
people taking their fucking time
Bring back "Waterworld" with Kevin Federline replacing Kevin Costner
pnictogens
Swear Trek
Bring back CBS's "King of Queens" with Kevin Costner replacing Kevin James
Keep Netflix's "House of Cards" running with Kevin James replacing Kevin Spacey
Scientists implant tiny human brains into rats
belatedly considering the possibility that the random string regrets and comments we used to get were actually YouTube video codes, but then immediately guessing that if that were the case they'd probably be Kento's videos and immediately losing interest
aiding and abetting short people is a felony
yeah, but make sure you give a trenchcoat to each pair
what I'm hearing is that twice as many short people as previously thought could be stacked up under the stairs
they're big stairs
I thought the people under the stairs were short people
fuck marry kill, short people, difficult people, the people under the stairs
heaven smiles above me
Every Kevin Spacey Joke from Difficult People
Darth Titreme
Darth Termite
Darth Woodrot
it's not a story the Jedi would tell you, eh
did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Maple the Wise
then it died of sadness
that tree's midichlorophyll count was off the charts
May wants a much cheerio navy
very English, much cheerio
English actor Ben Kingsley read for the role of the Emperor, but he was considered "very English" for the role
Shmi Warka
Watto W Warrick
After infiltrating the camp, he found the hut where his mother was being held and sliced a hole upon
Padme Kenobi
Shmi Palpatine
Steve Palpatine
Pugglekapoos, Jedi Temple groundskeeper
pugglekapoos
the trees thing isn't really making me excited for Star Wars again
puggles
he tracks down one of Emperor Sheev Palpatine's secret research bases to liberate two Force sensitive trees
Influence of a West Antarctic mantle plume on ice sheet basal conditions
seeing them in my dark cupboard with my great big cake
there's no business like show business for groping a minor
It starts at drama school and goes right on through our business
Troodon Dinosauriere
kissing the California butts
gilding the California girls
thanks, it's been a while since I had that
I'll kiss your butt if he didn't lead us right to the deer stand where the murder took place
sucking her left one until she had a ponygasm
ponygraphy
Hoodon Ponottooro
Pokemon Heather and Jim
Catium
Samuel L Jackson's cover of Short People, Mother Fucker
Hayden Panettiere's hatred of panettone
thinking of it as more into the same size drum rather than smaller drums
fuck marry kill, Hayden Panettiere, Hayden Christensen, Joseph Haydn
true, but that's the kind of thing you don't want to lowball
they fit into smaller drums too
yeah, they're small enough that you can usually take them out in just one hit
I can work with that
roughly the Danny DeVito to Hayden Panettiere range
how short are we talking
fuck marry kill, short people, ruthless people, everyday people
diamidophosphate
Durlstotherium newmani
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A PONY BLOWBANG
rat fist sperm
sperm at first
it farts sperm
firmest parts
drinking the illy
regrets about pony boweling
regrets about pony bowling
gliding the lily
a crossover Christmas episode of Quantum Leap and Enterprise guest starring Radiohead in which baby Scott deepens Qo'noS snow, which Klingon warriors resent, they don't like cold
regrets about pony cumfart tsunamis
weaponizing Kento's Findus lasagna
yeah, I tried that once, but it ended up ruining a lot of the good meat
If I thought for a microsecond that this had any military applications, I would not have published it
wanting to make Kento a Findus lasagna for his birthday
wondering how much it would cost to rent enough ponies for a Findus lasagna
I was thinking blowtorch
well, you've got to melt his cheese somehow
wanting to make Kento a Double French with a Dutch Oven
utzy things
wondering how much it would cost to rent enough ponies for a blowbang for Kento's birthday
Mitch Conner rides a fat raccoon
wanting to make Kento a Double Irish With A Dutch Sandwich
the Double Irish
having made a misleading and careless statement about a British citizen of Iranian descent imprisoned in Iran that could prolong her ordeal there
CHOKOLADEBOLLE 'clitoris collector' convicted of numerous crimes
Danish 'clitoris collector' convicted of numerous crimes
really keaning stuff
regrets about pony Manbangs
Sherlock Holmes eating lots of eggs and drinking lots of milk may kean constipation later colon study
Heavy pot and alcohol use in teens may mean less success later in life colon study
regrets about pony blowbangs
wanting to structure Kento's income streams and investments such that he artificially avoids the majority of taxation and then leak the details of his arrangements to the press for his birthday
it could be normal, but it isn't quite
Aptostichus bonoi
Bono Vox of O'Connell Street
only great man in Saudi Arabia
Storage Things
chip butty Harvey Weinstein
chip shop Harvey Weinstein
pound shop Harvey Weinstein
driving a hearse equipped with pillows, a bar, and an incense burner
L'Encobert
Ryan had been living in the Rockhampton house for six months prior to being found
A search found only the donkey and his bloodstained garments
Attack of the The Eye Creatures
fuck marry kill, sand people, the the shoe people, short people
Mr Borg Terms
Mr Bort Germs
more asbestos
blowing Mr Bergstrom bone
Mr Bergstrom
Paul Hewson, was an investor in the Maltese company Nude Estates, which bought the Ausra mall
performing Coriolanus backwards in Australia
Recording of audible sound during spider courtship
no eggos and no tv make Homer smile politely
no eggos and no tv make Homer something something
Brother Love
wondering if the pope's wee counts as holy water, or if that line only works for jesus
wanting to wash Kento's hair with urine for his birthday
when the idea was born to wash my hair with urine
smashing Billy Corgan's hot British sisters with the Banging Pumpkins
banging Billy Corgan's hot British sisters with the Smashing Pumpkins
Polishing my award
Tonight's Beaver Moon Isn't a Super Moon But Will Still Be Very Bright
Polishing your award
Zsa Zsa Rasputin Geldof
fuck marry kill, Magda, Zsa Zsa, Eva
something something Rachel Stevens something enormous cyclopean friend something the Aristocats
bottoming for Chris Lydon in a Nutfux Original Series, Strangler Dongs
not joining the rebel alliance, and then regretting it for five fucking parsecs, but in a darklighter way
don't make it weird, this is a you and me thing, not a you me and your enormous cyclopean friend thing
Polyphemus
oh, I'll scrub your carpets alright
Polybius
you're the one who's going to scrub the carpets this time
goddamn it, what is with you, he's already sticky enough
wanting to make Kento a sticky wicket for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a chip butty for his birthday
something something red wings something five years
not bleeding her out, and then regretting it for five fucking years, but in a lighthearted way
the beeeeeeees FUCK! buddy system
the fuck buddy system
the buddy system OF A DOWN
your dyslexia frittering up
The Yerevan Rollers
not asking her to watch you shower, and then regretting it for five fucking years, but in a lighthearted way
not eating her out, and then regretting it for five fucking years, but in a lighthearted way
not asking her out, and then regretting it for TWELVE fucking years, but in a lighthearted way
The Bonnybridge Rollers
The Micanope Rollers
the doll system
not being able to find that audio of Beyonce trying to say "chip butty"
the guy system
the buddy system
Pouncy Terrion
Rollermania, chin less but see it noo
stealing baskets from Baskin Robbins
they changed to The Bay City Rollers by throwing a dart at a map of the United States, which landed near Bay City, Michigan
that'll be ten thousand kroner
thanks, Detective Somerset
it's offensive to call Vikings barbaric
her name was Asleikr, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a wolf pelt down to there
They looked barbaric, like a cross between a Viking and a showgirl
Levin James came out as fat gay and Jewish weeks ago, oy vey
also I guess Kevin James
Levin James came out as fat gay and Asian weeks ago
wondering when the Kevin James revelations will come out
thank god
I'm still in the hospital, it will be a few more days, but I feel about ninety percent recovered and I have my laptop now so I can read news about celebrity rape
wondering how you're doing
there was this guy next to me who kept wetting his diapers and the nurses got angry about it and it totally seemed like a George HW Bush thing
nobody's accused Will Smith yet
These figures aren't beautiful at all, they're very much the opposite
going through like five days without news and wondering "gee I wonder what celebrity raped whom" multiple times
wanting to see if Hollywood has the courage to make an American Beauty remake where Kevin Spacey jerks off a fourteen year old boy
trying to order takeout with Donald Rumsfeld
Donald H Rumsfeld, his defense secretary, "didn't make one fucking decision"
I'm worried that I will be the last Republican president
Pokemon Kevin Spacey Allegedly Showed Teen Porn and Groped a Journalist in New Claims Against Him
Kevin Spacey Allegedly Showed Teen Porn & Groped a Journalist in New Claims Against Him
fuck marry kill, Jebediah Springfield, Obadiah Stane, Zecharia Sitchin
spam fritter, I just met 'er!
kind of disabling spam fritters, that dyslexic pony
Satan Jerry Seinfeld Geldof
Harfuck Beestein
Harvey Weinstein is attached to HOMEWARES
Satan Jerry Seinfeld
guessing there had to be something about that in the pact with Satan Jerry Seinfeld had to sign to get Bee Movie made
wondering if there is a record for the largest or longest worn merkin of bees
it started off as a parody
one of them is a parody that just says "I FUCK!!! beeees" over and over
the comments just say "I love you" over and over
shaming eels with E L James
that your housemate is taking like a billion years to have a conversation on the stairs and you really need to pee
Harvey Weinstein is attached to produce
Roman Polanski writes Eiffel Tower scene for UK schoolgirl
I'm still in the hospital but I'm on my phone so I can't read comments
writing a macron over Emmanuel Macron's E, manually
not going to Garmisch
Emmanuel Macron writes Eiffel Tower poem for UK schoolgirl
"Very classy," Mr Colon said "I yelled a lot and somebody told me to stop, Now we're all trying to figure out what to do"
a soft boiled clitoris
using the Tukey window to avoid too much energy at the wrong optical frequency
I'll sit through your fifteen minute story
that's some real nice morphine talk
that sometimes this bitch sets herself Andy you cause she just doesn't want to sit through your fifteen min story
I ain't had to bake for a girl in a long time
get well soon
I told you those pioneer kids were trouble
I'll be out within a week, I hope
I'm in the hospital
Loneliness dissipates when you find comfort and pleasure in your own company
don't you dare
you can't leave me here all alone
oh no no no
wondering what you died of
Last Train to London
Star Trek but Kirk spends most of his time in or preparing for meetings with HR
Star Trek Colon Voyager but the last four seasons are just stories where various aliens and crew are outraged that the EMH assumed Seven of Nine's gender
just like the white winged dove sings a song sounds like she's singing HOO HOOO HOOOO
you speak the language of love like you know what it means
Anusekin Skywalker
a remake of Mad Max Colon Beyond Thunderdome starring Michael Palin and Sarah Palin with the tagline SEVAEL NILAP ENO ,RETNE SNILAP OWT TWO PALINS ENTER, ONE PALIN LEAVES
Rotaderp sv Neila
Carrie Fisher, I just met 'er!
Pokemon Anuses and Ani
the palindrome of Predator is Rotaderp
poo expert warns that only diverting a river through your gastrointestinal tract will properly cleanse, but the direction of flow will surprise you
the sisyphean task of getting the last of the poo out of your poo producing tube
living in a world where people steam their vaginas before popping a jade egg up there because someone either moronic or malicious told them to
I suspect that this, too, is known to you
baby wipes will also clog your local sewers if flushed, and should therefore be disposed of by other means
I suspect that you know all this
just fyi wiping with baby wipes as an adult is going to cause contact dermatitis, aka diaper rash, and it is advisable to simply shower or bathe more regularly if you're having pooey botty problems, which is obviously less convenient for infants
your sun flaring up
The main thing is we know Flora is safe
Waking up to dick pics and LENNY faces, why do I talk to these people
Waking up to dick pics and ugly faces, why do I talk to these people
just being so done with the shitbag brigade
Caedite eos, Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius
The Prime Minister will also write to House of Commons Speaker John Bercow to ask how a sexual harassment scandal engulfing Westminster can best be addressed
You could avoid becoming destitute by returning to Romania or another EU member state where you could enjoy access to all your ECHR European Convention on Human Rights without interference
preparing for the apoocalypse
galling as it is to be corrected by Demi Moore, I did know there had to be a better way than wiggling the last bits out with your middle finger
Pooing expert reveals Brits have been going to the loo wrong this whole time
Americans 'are not properly cleaning their anuses' Colon Doctors warn toilet paper does little to remove feces
getting a YouTube ad for Tinder which unmistakeably uses a slowed down Mario theme
building a walrus and making Kento pay for it
we're going to build a wall and make the cephalopods pay for it, look you now
wait, I've heard this one
Octopus are crawling out of the sea and walking up a Welsh beach
Trump tells reporters' children they 'have no papers,' as he passes out in his favorite chair grumbling about immigrants
Trump tells reporters' children they 'have to whinge problems,' as he passes out Halloween candy
Ben "Vending" Rodriguez
Trump tells reporters' children they 'have no weight problems,' as he passes out Halloween candy
Bender Bending Rodriguez's first born son
a humanoid named Bender that once said it would 'destroy humans'
a humanoid named BLANCHE that once said it would 'destroy humans'
a humanoid named Sophia that once said it would 'destroy humans'
wondering what the ratio of straight women slash gay men is among Guns n Roses
wondering what the ratio of straight women slash gay men is among Playgirl readers
DYSON uses STIMULATE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Pokemon Playgirl and a Vacuum Cleaner
she became famous for drinking straight gin, rearing a cat, sculpting models of human heads out of her own feces, and using Playgirl and a vacuum cleaner for sexual gratification
chakalaka
also, I learned what plaintive means
it contributed to my disinterest in the newest films
I've always found the plaintive cry you gave when you discovered Disney was buying LucasFilm to be quite moving
what the hell you doing with my older brother in your house
Happy Chandler
The snail was named after the left wing British labour politician Jeremy Corbyn, on account of it being a 'lefty' snail
my grandfather teaching your older brother
I regret I don't have anything as moving as the train in South Africa story, I guess
remembering stories about my grandfather teaching your older brother when he was four years old to grab waitresses by the boobs and say "bat shit!" so I guess there's just something to be said about perverted old men
The testicle gambit, Dorothy observed, was evidence that the Bush family patriarch was "feeling better"
the death of Asians Domino
the death of Gays Domino
the death of Fats Domino
the death of Robert Guillaume
there are multiple
not getting a butthole of Gere
not getting a gottle of geer
oh look, a Skinner box
not getting skinned
Skinner box, I barely know 'er!
Order LXVI but it's synced to A ha's Take On Me
not knowing what to do with all that Kento skin
putting Kento in a Skinner box
don't cry for me, Argentina, the moisture will cause decomposition
Her husband had her body shipped over to Spain where Juan and his new wife kept the body in their dining room
BillMumipedia
Mummipedia
the deaths of Eugenios and Hilda Marcel
Boobsbutts Sandvaginas, Mos Eisley ex moisture farmer cum gay prostitute
fuck marry kill, boobs, butts, dicks and vaginas
Neil Armstrong's secret collection of moon rocks shaped like boobs, butts, dicks and vaginas
Frost Slash Armstrong
A question I would like to ask, and I don't know whether you'd be allowed to answer it really because it might be a naughty thing, is when you went to the moon, did you take a piece of the moon and bring it back home with you
thinking of Kento as a sort of prism, through which the full penile spectrum becomes visible
Accio nun
you're a nun, Harry
the brief period of the nineties when it seemed like Robbie Coltrane only made movies about nuns
Precision nun is gentle and accommodating
Unicorn penis is gentle and accommodating
we know that already, Kento, now get the fuck out of here
Having been across the penis spectrum, I just want to say that penises are awesome
I literally have to be able to sink the Titanic in my pants before I can take a dick
I go down there and he lets out a large and disgusting fart and says "Mmm, do you like that"
most of those vats only have fiesty and petite space noblewomen in them
The DC hip hop artist Christylez Bacon performs a song about Mambo sauce
that the guy in the Acme Steel Mill who says "hot stuff coming through!" is carrying an enormous vat full of molten steel, he must be insanely strong
I'm the insomnable snowman
wondering why you've been staying up later recently
fuck marry kill, jaws of life, Jaws the shark, Jaws the Bond villain
eroticakes
remembering that time as a kid when you told Podd to shit and Podd said he didn't know how
erotic cakes
remembering that time as a kid when you set the error sound on your brother's computer to the entire theme from Shaft and he couldn't figure out how to change it back
fuck marry kill, theme from Shaft, theme from Barnaby Jones, theme from Grange Hill
fuck marry kill, Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, Eartha Kitt
Kento's pika philtrum
Kento's rabbit chin
Kento's hare lip
They are creatures which are created when Joe Kirifuda inserts drawings into Deckie and sticks a key into his rear
Satan's FULLY FUNCTIONAL Robot Colon An Historical Overview
Good Queen Beth with Cheethe
Satan's Robot Colon An Historical Overview
substituting clementine juice for pineapple juice in mumbo sauce and feeling bad about it, like you'd ever know the difference, but you know, allergies
drawing a picture of Bruce Springsteen in his scanties
wondering how much Bruce Springsteen would charge to write and perform a song about a Yinzer Terminator who is forced to become a gay prostitute after his steel mill closes due to Beong Tse's back to back to back to back number one singles
mirando
money's been tight since the steel mill closed
drawing a picture of Steely McBeam telling another satisfied customer to "Get out" in an Austrian accent
Steely McBeam is an advanced prototype made of a mimetic polyalloy, that wouldn't faze him
drawing a picture of Steely McBeam covering himself in molten steel and screaming
drawing a picture of Steely McBeam covering himself in molten steel and screaming "DO IT! COME ON! RAPE ME NOW! WE WORK HARD, WE PLAY HARD!" in a thick yinzer accent
Beong Tse, Chinese Beyonce knockoff
imagining the new intern at Equity in the late nineties beong tasked with telling Bella Emberg that yes, it is mandatory if you need to renew your membership
hash tagging yourself #metoo because when you took that acting class as a bored twentysomething the teacher said you had to strip off in order to qualify for an Equity card, which was so patently bullshit even then
Vegan Whole Foods will offer 'sushi' with the first ever vegan raw tuna substitute
the Scottish foreplay
Whole Foods will offer vegan 'sushi' with the first ever raw tuna substitute
the Scottish play
wanting to give Kento monkey nuts for his birthday
memes but all of the images are replaced with images of Kento
No, Voronoff, you won't get me!
my long naked sauce
monkey gland sauce
getting ready, getting ready, and rumbling, everybody rumbling
building a wall but being unable to reverse the automation that cost Steely McBeam his job
UOForever IDOC PvP
Steely McBeam
Dad, why did you take me to a gay music factory
C&C Music Factory Forced to Cut Sixty% of Employees Due to Market Flood of Cheap, Low Quality Chinese Music
Diana, Yon Soccer Rapist, Eh
Diana, The Rose Conspiracy
fuck marry kill, Rose McGowan, Georgina Chapman, Pope David I
Have Fun With DECS Now
Bee & Bee FUCK Factory
Have FUCK!!!! with Beeeeees Now
Hannibal Lectannibal
Have Fun With Ants Now
just one gets into your panties and you've got an infestation in twenty four hours
rabid cooch ants
getting a rash on your c bandicoot
being repeatedly invited to "Have Fun With Rach Now" via ads for "Amazing Brave Rach" which is apparently what Crash Bandicoot is called now
Daredevil but he options his crime fighting to the Kingpin early in his career in lieu of protection money for his legal practice
Daredevil but instead of using his hightened senses to fight crime he just goes around grabbing tits and asses and saying "sorry, I'm blind!" as an excuse
Daredevil but he somehow never manages to catch a serial rapist in twenty years
Donno Doglovor
Danny Deglover
Your potential regret of Danny Glover, I hardly know 'er! has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ZERO
drawing a picture of Harvey Weinstein making Matt Damon the girl because he's a womanizer
kind of wishing they'd do a Predator vs Godzilla movie, only you know, ot terrible like all those other Godzilla movies
drawing a picture of SHANE McGowan covering himself in mud and screaming "DO IT! COME ON! RAPE ME NOW! I'M HERE!" in a thick IRISH accent
drawing a picture of Harvey Weinstein raping a bunch of ethnic stereotypes while Danny Glover looks on
drawing a picture of Rose McGowan covering herself in mud and screaming "DO IT! COME ON! RAPE ME NOW! I'M HERE!" in a thick Austrian accent
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was a 'Retard Ape,' Not a Wiz Moron
Alien vs Harvey Weinstein
imagine
scavenger hunts, I though she only 'ad one!
scavenger hunt, I only just met 'er!
scavenger hunts
I can't believe you made me watch two minutes of that dreck
you're fun and all, but, I mean, pretty soon we won't even be in the same orbit, you know
For years, we weren't winning at widows
learning about New York's forthcoming adoption of London style wireless payment on its mass transit systems and being disappointed to find that it will not be called Oyster Rockefeller
Jude Law is one of our most talented actors
almost being interested in what perennial hanger on Kevin Smith makes of the Weinstein allegations, but imagining it's just more stoner crap that somehow manages to mention Smith's store, or back catalog, or just talk up what a great man he thinks himself
Matt Damon Says 'MATT DAMON'
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was Not a Predator Because Weinstein 'Can Talk And Never Goes Invisible"
Matt Damon Says He Knew Harvey Weinstein Was a 'Womanizer,' Not a Predator
Reinhold Niebuhr, I hardly know 'er!
Reinhold Niebuhr
gorillas ain't got no reason to live
treacle but the pronunciation is changed so that you sound like a Randy Newman song when you say treacle
the music video for Fleetwood Mac's 'Everywhere' but the redcoats shoot Harambe and every instance of the word "everywhere" is replaced by "Harambe"
the impression of someone who looks right on the outside, but seems different on the inside
toning a mouse with Emma Stone
Grilled cheese makes me feel beautiful
sending a serving or former president to boot camp
only deferring but not actually getting out of military service
BONE SPUR IS READY
the Bichimfabulous conflict
that your uncle had bone spurs in a rotator cuff and ended up with a four year codeine habit
One aspect of the conflict, by the way, that I will never ever countenance is that we drafted the lowest income level of America and the highest income level found a doctor that would say they had a bone spur
Rob Schneider is The Patriot!
the Bicholim conflict
Sony made an out of court settlement and agreed to refund $V each to dissatisfied customers who saw Hollow Man, The Animal, The Patriot, A Knight's Tale, or Vertical Limit in American theatres, as a result of Manning's reviews
genitalia that is pale white in colour represents that someone is young, and thus foolish
being underarmenian
being underarmeian
Crapgas delusion
Capgras delusion
Trolls exist in the Warcraft franchise, though they are notably African in culture, practicing voodoo and speaking in Jamaican accents
spelling warlocks and warlock accessories
selling warlocks and warlock accessories
mistakes were made
Harvery Fierstein, supplier of warlocking accessories
fuck marry kill, Harvey Weinstein, Harvery Fierstein, Harvey Cream
payin' anything to roll the dice
the J word
Ernie Harvest, Star Wars prequel working title
it's really been some welcome, you never seem to change
Bert Harvest, Star Wars sequel working title
whatever floor Kim Jong un is on is the juche floor
whatever floor Kento is on is the jucing floor
The bird with Britain's smallest beak has just been hired to front a campaign with the slogan colon 'There's nothing wrong with a little pecker'
wanting to roll Kento down to the juicing floor for his birthday
reading about Dr Marie Stopes for the first time out of curiosity as to why a charity bears her name and discovering that she was a meddlesome fascistic cum chugging ratbag piece of shit, in addition to her scientific work
Somebody call Cleveland
imagining Osama bin Laden kicking himself once he realized that he could basically have obliterated the White House on IX XI due to the lack of airspace control around DC
drinking Harvey Cream's heavy cream
apropos of nothing stating the fact that cetacean milk has the same consistency as Harvey Cream
apropos of nothing stating the fact that cetacean milk has the same consistency as heavy cream
signed, Patrick Stewart
you need to stay away from the pissing poo
you need to stay away from the petting zoo
they cum in pints
Garfield cartoonist denies Jon drinks a pint of kid semen in comic strip
wondering how much, historically, it has cost to get any major magazine to run a fluff piece about "a man's man" and have it be plain that this is kind of a rapeyrather than kind of a fruity subject
Bert Harvest just kind of crept in there
Garfield cartoonist denies Jon drinks a cup of kid semen in comic strip
bert harvest n Affleck Rapes an Adorable Stray Puppy, Massively Hurts
seeing the headline "Ben Affleck Takes in Adorable Stray Puppy, Melts Hearts" and wondering how much it costs to get PEOPLE magazine to run a cute fluff piece about you to deflect revelations that you sexually assault people
The man with Britain's smallest penis has just been hired to front a campaign with the slogan colon 'There's nothing wrong with a little prick'
Garfield cartoonist denies Jon drinks a cup of dog semen in comic strip
Miramax cheerleader lapkids
Harvey has a controversial reputation but I love the guy
Miramax cheerleader lapdogs
Kenthoo Iswana
Duckento Quackeda
Chickento Cluckeda
Eggto Chikeda
Kentoink Pigkeda
booty troping your house on accident
buying insurance in blackjack
I would never fuck Sting because I don't have all goddamn day
fuck Sting because once would be enough, marry Bryan Adams because he doesn't know what he's doing but he'd do anything for you and a patsy is always useful, kill Rod Stewart just in case that creepy old sex pest thing wasn't an act
fuck marry kill, Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, Sting
Billy Corgan Says He Saw A Person Transform Into A Non Human
filling your bong reservoir with the urine of a togepi
Oral Sex Plus a Doubleplusgood Afternoon for Men
Oral Sex Plus Smoking a Fire Hazard for Women
Oral Sex Plus Smoking a Cancer Danger for Men
fuck marry kill, Ricky Hedd AKA "Blade", Brian Edmonds AKA "Da Flame" and Eric Dean AKA "Freeze"
insurers are allowed to claim subsidies, but through a different, more lucrative channel
part LXXXIV in a CXLVI series
wondering what drives a person to post part LXXXIV of a walk through to a game released seven years earlier in which much of the action consists of imagining yourself in a better looking game
Angel was a better filmlook soap and latex show
Nico Senri, Cocky Kid
secretly marrying someone who Wales up every night from nightmares isn't it
having never seen an episode of Buffy Colon The Vampire Slayer but every time you see how much its fans think it necessary to fill up Wikipedia with massive episode summaries, including an "Arc significance" section, you never want to
Kentmoo Ikowda
skipping a whole two seasons of a show which were apparently just nasty sex
they have sex while he forces her to watch her friends dance
She spends her break having sex with him in the alleyway out behind the restaurant
doce anos
Pokemon Negro y Dorado
whackers
The British love of feeding birds may have caused great tits to evolve
Fox News not withdrawing that story has drove me nutty
filling mole's asses with molasses
liquid hot smegma
the days going by
being Eiffel Towered
secretly Eiffel Towering someone who wakes up every night from being Eiffel Towered
BOVVlE
symmastia
forking Jewel's boobs
not actually going to Forcaboob, just observing that it had a funny name
dreaming about a fictional place called Forcaboob
tired mountain syndrome
secretly fucking someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
secretly killing someone who wakes up every night from nightmares
my God, I loved my boys on that show
I grew to really love Star Trek Colon Voyager, and out of a cast of nine, I've made three great friends
the man had no boundaries
he probably asked Nurse Chapel to watch him take a sonic shower a couple times too
guessing that Kirk doesn't give a shit about whether it is transgressive to fuck a given hole
wait I mean Ensign Wildman
I'm just going to say Janeway and hope you don't judge me
Ocampa give birth through their backs so Kirk only knows where sticking sex appendages is or isn't transgressive with them
if we're talking about characters then I don't know because I don't know that they all have butts or even cloacas
if I had to guess I'd say anyone but Jeri Ryan, probably someone like Jennifer Lien or based on this one sweaty clip of him clutching a water bottle and desperately trying to hold it together on E! back in the nineties, Robert Duncan McNeill
wondering which member of the Voyager crew was most into butt stuff
Star Trek Colon Deep Space IX but the theme and all incidental music are played on a slide whistle
Star Trek Colon Voyager but the theme and all incidental music are played on castanets
I just want to play on my pan pipes
Aydin Onac has been suspended as head of St Olave's school in Orpington
Kento's new Manbang exclusive sitcom, Booby Dudey
Self Transforming Machine Elf on the Shelf
Barf Dizzy
Poverty strikes dead the very souls of all who come within sight, sound or smell of it
did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Dizzy the Wise
an empire of giants that collapsed
a wilderness loving barbarian race that uses domesticated dinosaurs as mounts
stupid sexy Shelob
shaving a vine with Seven of Nine
Tolkien does not specifically mention cock size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudcock hobbit family
sexy Shelob
Snake Outta Compton
tempting Gandalf
even though she's got to be closer to sixty than forty
starring Sandra Bullock
an all female Old West town is visited by an attractive young gunslinger who is at first treated with scorn until the townsfolk realize she could entice local outlaws to drink and spend money in the town, High Tits Drifter
Tolkien does not specifically mention foot size as a generic hobbit trait, but does make it the distinctive trait of the Proudfoot hobbit family
wanting to make Kento twenty first century schizoid man for his birthday
wanting to make Kento mellified man for his birthday
defiling that Hitler's fridge with your girth
down beside thigh tit deferral
down beside that Hitler fridge
down beside that girth defiler
down beside that red firelight
Christavril Aguilavigne
thinking that Avril Lavigne had children for some reason but guessing you just had her confused with Christina Aguilera
thinking that Christina Aguilera was Canadian for some reason but guessing you just had her confused with Avril Lavigne
a remake of The Parent Trap but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
fuck marry kill, Christina Aguilera, Hayden Christensen, Chris Christie
a remake of Freaky Friday but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
a remake of Trading Places but with Christina Aguilera and Hayden Christensen as themselves
deep gnomes
Christina Aguilera's Dirrrrrrty except every dirty is replaced by a FUCK! beeeees and the video is an apiforme sex tape slash Christina Aguilera wearing a beard of bees slash being stung to death
Frenchman's Head Vaginas Are Not Dirty
sociological gobbledygook
Pokemon Money Power and Abuse
Frenchman's Head
VAGINAS ARE NOT DIRTY
money power and abuse go hand in hand in every profession
bottoming for Beepbo Ikeda in Fat Gay Asian Hand Job Robots VII
THE GIANT EIFFEL TOWER DUEL
THE GIANT EFFETE ROBOT DUEL
jacking your pair of nuts on a right bet
betting your right jack on a pair of nuts
what this town needs is more threadbare mall spaces at great cost to local taxpayers
having Strong Opinions about a place you haven't visited much less lived in for years
The new road layout would create space for a marketplace on Commercial Road, magically different to the existing half mile pedestrian zone of Commercial Road nobody already uses for the same purpose
hard working members of the public who are expected to turn up for their day jobs or face sanctions
thinking college kids shouldn't practice neoteny
Serggin cuff
Bob Weinstein Accused of Sexual Harassment by TV Showrunner
bottoming for Bert Harvest in Ass Traitors VII
CCH ROYALE sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
Pres Bush listened while I screamed at him & then held me as I sobbed
CCH Pounder sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
being in the unfortunate habit of falling for a pretty smile but not granted the rank of Master
bert harvest
A CCCP pound woman sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say bert harvest is new record, little girl is class traitor, pound woman is hero of revolution, awarded medal of beets
I just couldn't hold on any longer
too soon
being in the unfortunate habit of free falling for Petty realism
being in the unfortunate habit of falling for petty realism
the Lord of the Rings but every ring is changed to a wang
Old men, and babes, and loving friends, and youths and maidens gay
the comedy equivalent of Jeb Bush's "Please clap"
really starting to question whether Jimmy Savile ever said eueueueueueugh or whether that was all from Spitting Image
We're depending on our partners in the court system to make a good decision, how's about that then, boys and girls
Old mate finished changing his son, thanked me and off he went cumming on people now, smiling on your brother, every body getting together, trying to love one another
We're depending on our partners in the court system to make a good decision
Old mate finished changing his son, thanked me and off he went
cumming on people now, smiling on your brother, every body getting together, trying to love one another
Neo Nazi comes out as gay and reveals Jewish roots while renouncing ties to far right groups
I'm not sure we can consider FanMM an authority
CCCXX
A CCCLL pound woman sat on a little girl as a punishment and killed her, authorities say
Even for people with very limited technology chops, this is a way for them to have an extremely protected profile
he does the hands very well
they're great layers
I would want to fuck an onion if I were not in a relationship
fucking your ex onion for old times sake
the code was "Hey, look, it's Harvey Weinstein"
We had a secret code among us actresses to warn each other about creeps
marry a carrot, obviously
fuck marry kill, an onion, a carrot, celery
you need to stop & ask yourself, am i dating a human or an onion
Max II Colon White House Hero 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
CAPITOL CRITTERS 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
Family dog 'may have killed young boy' in Glengormley
Pussycat Guys
it's okay, I still love you
I wasn't in a girl group, I was in a prostitution ring
O om dologhtod Colon hos spokon ond O romombor hom boong voro sopportovo ot tho tmo
I am delighted Colon has spoken and I remember it being very supportive at the time
Colin has spoken, like the first Colin
I am delighted Colin has spoken and I remember him being very supportive at the time
fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox, Sophie Dix, Hannah Weiner
Le Presidente de la Republique a initie la revocation de la legion d'honneur decernee a Weinstein
being first bound, then gagged, then hooded and beaten by a machine
misophonia, the ability to hear soup
French President Emmanuel Macron initiated the revocation of Weinstein's Legion of Honor award
Naughtyish Dog Responds To Step Standing Allegations
Naughty Dog Responds To Crap On Carpet Allegations
Bristol Weincream
sparing a thought for the intern tasked with playing 'Harvey' in the Trump Weinstein congratulatory call, their dreams of making a difference subsumed into a well of dirty talk about sexual assault
wanting to congratulate Donald Trump on his Herculean restraint over the Weinstein scandal, but suspecting his silence is simply because some wise staffer has found a way to gatekeep the endless stream of self harming bullshit
Naughty Dog Responds To Sexual Harassment Allegations
Woody Allen Says He Feels 'Sad' for All In Weinstein Scandal, Including Harvey Weinstein
Trump challenges Tillerson to prove intactitude
Snow Shark
'I'm intact,' Tillerson says, brushing off drama with Trump
a small city murder case with overtones of gender identity and sexuality
in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, for her pleasure
an "escapologist" who had been made into a "human goat"
a "humanist" who had been made into a "scapegoat"
wondering how much John Goodman will get paid for starring in the inevitable Harvey Weinstein biopic
The Beverly Bees Beebillies
the Bristol Harvey Weinstein scale
oloroso
Harvey Cream's Bristols
Bristol's Harvey Cream
Harveys Bristol Cream
fuck marry kill, Harvey Weinstein, Harvey Milk, Harvey Cream
Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there take your top off do you mind if I masturbate you have fabulous tits whoops don't mind that that's just my finger
bottoming for Colon Harvey Weinstein in A Certain Kind of Work I
Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called FUCK! Beeeeees
bottoming for Beverly Bees and Ben Affluent in FUCK! Bees III
As a member of a group of nearby neighborhoods that are affluent, it is known as one of the "Three Bees", along with Beverly Bees and FUCK! Air
fuck marry kill, The Beverly Hills Hillbillies, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Brentwood Magazine
Bol Oor, Urug hai general
sex pest Rg jus
Bol Oor
Bovorlo Holls
Brontwood
As a member of a group of nearby neighborhoods that are affluent, it is known as one of the "Three Bs", along with Beverly Hills and Bel Air
Brentwood is also home to many celebrities such as actors and actresses
no i
with a trick like expelling his colon, Harvey will always be able to get a certain kind of work i
Movie Academy Votes To Expel Harvey Weinstein Colon Complicity "In Our Industry Is Over, Except If You're Relatively Young and Hot and Still Have Box Office Drawing Power, Because C'mon, Let's Be Honest, Living In Brentwood Ain't Cheap"
Movie Academy Votes To Expel Harvey Weinstein Colon Complicity "In Our Industry Is Over"
sex pest au jus
signed, Ben Affleck
drinking gin from Jyn Erso's arsehole
Pot Noodles are eaten throughout the UK where admitting that you're not enjoying something and it's slowly ruining you is the everyday norm
Crystal noodles are enjoyed throughout Asia where a healthy diet is the everyday norm
sex pest jus
kind of wanting Matt Damon to be outed as a sex pest jus so that you can call him Butt Demon
lewd blancmange snake
New England blam cakes
Alopex Affleck
something somethin Jeffrey Epstein something Bill Clinton something the Island of President's Virgins
Krang Affleck
being called after a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles supporting character
something something Ocean's Fourteen something showgirl something R Kelly something Fontainebleau
wondering if Chris Brown would star in Ocean's Fourteen if they needed someone to beat the fuck out of a showgirl or something as part of the heist
I just find it really hard to care about the brother of a has been
Casey was the hitty one right
Casey Affleck & Chris Brown Team for Movie on America's Pinkerton Detectives
the Island of the Virgin Presidents
the Virgin of the President Islands
for some reason y'all didn't tell Trump to stick to reality TV and bankruptcy
Ben Affleck & Matt Damon Team for Movie on America's First Detectives
being granted the rank of Han Solo but not being in the hand cut off club
New England clam bakes
Chuck Norris memes are ten times funnier when you crop out the bottom caption
the President of the Virgin Islands
the Ain't It Cool News review of Blade II
back in the nineties when getting your dick caught in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
kind of loving Dillon, that son of a bitch
Muniz explained he chose to focus on this year because he has suffered nine concussions and multiple "mini strokes", and they have left him unable to recall the past, including his six years on the sitcom
fuck marry kill, Hans Gruber, Hans Zimmer, Han Solo
I'm SCISSORS in your hand
I'm paper in your hand
fuck marry kill, JR Ewing, JRR Tolkien, j'ai arrete
There's nothing quite like an afternoon of sex with two guys, one of whom is my husband
back in the nineties when getting caught with your hook in a killer's mouth was a big deal but not a career dicker
fuck marry kill, JRR Tolkien, George RR Martin, JJ Abrams
trying to use ebay to gague how much Ben Affleck's jizz is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from zero to fifty percent of his net worth
first rate foul mouthed tongue lashing
true nature is as difficult to be met with in authors, as the Bayonne ham, or Bologna sausage, is to be found in the shops
I really think you and I need to sit down and downsize some of these memes, things are getting way too complicated around here
something something Hugh Grant something blue pill something Steak n Shake something the Wachowskis something Eddie Murphy something something cumming like a fountain
All IV Decapitated members formally charged with rape
something something Hugh John Mungo Grant something in the summer time when the weather is high
The Englishman Who Took a Blue Pill And Came Like a Fountain
The company's now defunct newspaper, Today, had falsely claimed that Grant verbally abused a young extra with a "foul mouthed tongue lashing" on the set of The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain
back in the nineties when getting a leprechaun caught in your dick was a big deal but not a career killer
back in the nineties when getting caught with a leprechaun in your dick was a big deal but not a career killer
Conspiracy theories that Eddie Murphy hired an assassin to kill Shalimar were discussed by spectators but never proven
back in the nineties when getting caught with your dick in a hooker's mouth was a big deal but not a career killer
going into Touchy Station and trying to pick up some power converters
he wants to go home and rethink his life
He says that he belongs to someone named Obi Wan Assfacedshitsack, I thought he might have meant Old Ben
looks like TeaMpOisoN's blasting off again!
Ben Assfacedshitsack, death stick dealer
Ben Assfacedshitsack
Jennifer Garner has a point, and not just because nobody wants another Jaden Smith problem
thinking that anyone who truly cared about her kids' wellbeing probably wouldn't have let that assfaced shitsack dump his worthless jizz in her pussy not once, not twice, but three times
The sea is wet and also water
The Ministry of Defence is responsible for controlling Britain's defence policies and is also the headquarters of the British Armed Forces
Jennifer Garner is not happy with the negative news surrounding her ex Ben Affleck as it means more unwanted attention of their kids
TeaMpOisoN
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Kowalski' as more leprechauns violently emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Piggy Eyed Ratboy' as more Justice League promotional images emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Scatman' as more groping allegations emerge
Ben Affleck dubbed 'Buttman' as more groping allegations emerge
Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice except Ben Affleck makes Wonder Woman sit on his lap and tries to talk her into showing him her boobs while he sticks his finger up her butt
Phone Booth except Ben Affleck arrives in what is inarguably a light tank and crushes Colin Farrell while growling indecipherably
The Lobster except halfway through Ben Affleck arrives in what is inarguably a light tank and kills a bunch of dudes who are really just in the way and then spends ninety minutes chasing down Colin Farrel with hot butter and a crab claw set
Ponsonby Britt OBE
Daredevil except instead of wailing on the eminently punchable Colin Farrell he wails on this tv pretty boy until Natasha Fatale tells him to stop
Daredevil but the main dude is like ten years too old to ever be convincing and the plot dialogue pacing editing acting and direction are somehow even worse
Daredevil but instead of dance scenes and a super gay fun times vibe it just ramps up the growling in the rain and Daredevil brands human beings heroically or whatever, and also looks like an escapee from a kangaroo farm
never even seeing Good Will Hunting because of a niggling doubt that it could be any good instead ofbeing the most nineties shitshow possible, eclipsing even Dogma for sheer shitshowery
consulting on whether it's possible to sue Ben Affleck for emotional distress after seeing so many of his truly shitty movies
These breasts are really firm, suspiciously firm, they are like two giant stones
there are so many things you can do, like rip someone's tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women
watching the Watchmen but not really paying attention and basically missing like a third of it, in that you recall when questioned that there was a sex scene, but you don't spontaneously recall it
plus I kind of joked about it on co and wouldn't you know it they basically went and did the exact same thing but with the comic books at the next relaunch
even when it's so tedious that I didn't even watch it
there was a moment earlier this year when I was genuinely worried about the possibility of Watchmen the movie and certain other projects being retroactively added to the so called DCEU but only because I feel like I'm expected to know about this shit
probably never, except in a Kingdom Hearts or Super Smash Bros type of deal
wondering how long it will be before we start getting The Avengers vs Star Wars kind of shit
Who Who Hime, anime owl princess
these little town rubes aren't destined for fame, I'll get a hand job out of it, I'm sure, I'm sure
start spreading your legs, I'm Harvey Weinstein, I want to be inside of it, you whore, you whore
all I'm saying is maybe there's a reason the corpse of a mentally handicapped toddler has never starred in a Miramax picture
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant Until I Gave Birth This Morning
righties and lefties can't get it on because their genitals are in the wrong place
Tonight, a comedian died in New York
hime
c'mon, don't say that, you don't want hime to sue us in New York
that we know of
that in fairness Harvey Weinstein has probably never had sex with the corpse of a mentally handicapped toddler
eueueueueueugh
ambition and love wearing boxing gloves and singing hearts and flowers
Harvey Weinstein Says He's "Devastated" Over Wife Georgina Chapman's Decision to Leave Him Sitting on the Toilet, and is "Afraid to Get Down"
He walked by me, cupped my butt and pressed his finger into my crack
who who
let who who has never sexually harassed and raped record breaking numbers of women over a span of four decades cast the first stone, amirite
Harvey Weinstein Says He's "Devastated" Over Wife Georgina Chapman's Decision to Leave Him
as commemorated in Michael Dorn's tattoos
then he pissed on Stuart Baird's scalp
Jonathan Frakes walked into the editing suite on the last day of editing, threw a dragon dildo at the editor, and yelled "let's talk about Riker's legacy"
wondering what prude decided to leave the second mind rape scene on the cutting room floor
According to Burton and several other members of the main cast, Baird kept referring to LeVar as "Laverne" throughout production and thought the character of Geordi La Forge was an alien
there were some nods, like the barely warp capable flower eating midgets being admitted to the Federation on an accelerated schedule, but the lore was lost in a haze of cameos
Senator Ja
that we never got a glimpse into the post Dominion war alpha quadrant, and instead got a new boring race with gross old man faces and some stupid Romulan shit
Marina Sirtis walked on set on the last day of filming, threw a dragon dildo into the captain's chair, and yelled "we're not leaving this set until someone gets raped, and it ain't gonna be me"
Admiral Ja
mainly because it might be similar enough to my fanfiction for me to be able to sue
Insurrection would have been so much better if it was a post Voyager show about the last Maquis trying to find their new place in the galaxy and the presumable integration of Cardassians into Starfleet, using, say, captain Chakotay reporting to Admiral Ja
the last one has me intrigued
you should only watch it if you want to see one or more of three things, namely,an early example of Tom Hardy pretending to be an older actor, Ron Perlman being totally unrecognisable, and Troi mind raping someone
having never seen Star Trek Colon Nemesis because Star Trek Colon Insurrection was so awful and everything you've read about it proves you made the right decision
FUTURE IS MEGATRON
not even minding Enterprise, just thinking that it would have been better received running parallel to a movie series tailing off the later era
really kind of wishing they'd made a movie other than Nemesis, using the better cast of the later shows and handing off to them with a new ship and new crew, instead of another TNG movie where Brent Spiner was inexplicably the focus
past are prime
that in Star Trek II Colon The Wrath of Khan they were all like "oh, we're all crusty old farts who are past are prime, isn't that funny" and then they did it again in every movie after that so by the time they got to Generations you wished for death
Star Trek Colon Condo In Space
he tried to watch TNG again and it was always a repeat of "Condo Roof, Eh"
fuck marry kill, the Chin people, the Armenian people, Hapax Legomon
he tried to watch TNG again and it was always a repeat of "Code of Honor"
my nest in the set was concealed behind the port side science console and she rarely turned that way
The Chin people are one of the major ethnic nationalities in Burma
I've never seen her from the front
Major Chin
wondering what she has tattooed on her front
Garrett Wang talks about it frequently in his tearful convention panels about how his two surrogate mothers fought on set
I'm a big fan
wondering how you know what Kate Mulgrew has tattooed on her back
floor dyslexia earring up
something something Your Highness something given wood something Dickgirl Natalie Portman something erection something still a funnier joke than anything in that goddamn movie
yoor dosloxoo florong op
a Kerala Jew by the name of Joseph Rabban who accepted on behalf of his community copper plates granting the local Jews a set of privileges by the Hindu leader Bhaskara Ravi Varman was also given wood by his Highness for the erection of a synagogue
clearly it was instructed to hide
Renovation in eighteen eighty three and exploration of the attic in August twenty fourteen found no trace of a golem
In Gary Gygax's Gord the Rogue novels, Eclavdra is depicted as incredibly beautiful, with jet black skin, violet eyes, perfect breasts, and silvery or snow white hair
Vladimir Putin's dog Lethimeat Nutsthen has joined Instagram
wondering if the puppy has any clue about the future where he will be required to gnaw the testicles off of political dissidents
Russian President Vladimir Putin, a dog lover, was presented Wednesday with a puppy as a belated birthday gift from the leader of Turkmenistan
never quite getting why the best detectives were supposed to be like candy
bottoming for ee cummings in ee cumming
The police officer with a conscience, who cannot be corrupted in any way, is also common, and is usually modeled after the hardboiled detective
rubbing Juan out in the bathroom at church, madre de dios, ay vayase
ee
Kate Mulgrew has that tattooed on her back
drawing a picture of Scatman John shitting on Jeri Ryan's scalp while Robert Beltran takes a dump on her chest
incestuous bagel
Scatman Cookie Monster
gelatinous cubes
Breastman John
where duos lousily unionizes
we seriously oozed insulin, uh
une dad
nude ad
I will always acknowledge my Hung brothers when they identify themselves
undead
several rumours began to circulate about the cast, such as with the crew meeting untimely deaths through accidents and the lead actress Keiko Matsuzaka either dying, being institutionalized or becoming pregnant with a demon child
seriously, we should unionize
the relentless grind of regret production
Scatman John's "Scatman" except all the scat is replaced with breast
Fucc Boi Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Dickgirls in Some Programs
Boy Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Dickgirls in Some Programs
Boy Scouts Announce Historic Decision to Allow Girls in Some Programs
Kento Does Boston
Mr Ikeda Cums In Boston
a bee sea
bottoming for Beyonce in Large Cock Wife
Mr Ikeda Goes To Boston
Walrus Actually
Seven Kentos For Seven Walruses
Walrus Club
Meet Kento Ikeda
Gobusters
Ikedaphobia
Chris and Go's Excellent Adventure
No Kento For Old Men
Kento Got Fingered
Dude, Where's My Walrus
Sex, Kento and Videotape
The Cook, The Thief, The Podcaster and Kento
Being Kento Ikeda
Eiffeling Is Beautiful
Black Kento
Marvel's The Ikedas
One Flew Over The Kento's Nest
The Ikeda Sanction
The Ikeda File
Being Raoul tasting bottom
Being Raoul
tasting bottom
Scientists Inflated Dead Dolphin Penises to Fake Sex With Dead Dolphin Vaginas
Justice League to Be More Aggressive in Seeking No Stakes High Tension Plots
bottoming for Exapny Mapcase in Encrypted Data VII
rice rice noodles, barbecue rice rice noodles
getting rid of the last of that kick ass barbecue sauce instead of hanging on to it and having it with those rice noodles
President Trump to spend $five hundred million in public money to assemble task force to gather the best ONLY A GENIUS CAN SOLVE THIS Facebook memes
Trump proposes 'IQ tests' faceoff with Tillerson after secretary of state calls him a 'moron'
Justice Department to Be More Aggressive in Seeking Encrypted Data
#gerrimisseshismom
RIKER hints at the iceberg of sexual harassment still beneath the surface
#garymisseshismom
Your dad went bankrupt and gave you to a stranger in Vegas
Data hints at the iceberg of sexual harassment still beneath the surface
I knew you'd say that
#KeepOnSucking
Stephen King's The Langoliers to be remade as Stephen King's The Sky Vaginas
Of all the employees in the warehouse, he was the dumbest man we had
auto replace enabled as default
"You taste bottom in this business," Weinstein said at that Sundance BOISERIE
"You taste bottom in this business," Weinstein said at that Sundance panel
getting a serious looking face tattooed on one boob and a man's body in miniature beneath with a speech bubble on the other boob and the words "I'm a breast man myself" simply to commit to a very involved joke
fuck marry kill, butcher, baker, candlestick maker
fuck marry kill, cop, sailor, indian chief, construction worker, biker
wondering which barely scientific scifi world would be best to live in
the New York of the F#R#I#E#N#D#S# seems pretty sweet, with the giant ass affordable vermin free modern apartments and the abundance of great jobs
Horace Horsecollar
wondering which sitcom world would be the best to live in
fuck marry kill, Diane, Rebecca, Carla
Howard Lovecraft's chthonic xenophobia
your shrink ran off to Europe, and didn't even write, and your husband wants to be a girl
the sound of a grouse in the night
orbital HIV
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot
spades
space AIDS
Harvey Weinstein's chronic homophobia
a rewrite of a planned Star Trek Colon The Next Generation script featuring FULLY FUNCTIONAL gay characters and an AIDS metaphor
the thought of recycled skeletons
The Punisher but he talks like Boss Nass
The Punisher but he lost his wife when he told her he was going to "ruin her cat" and now he uses his gift for awful puns to fight crime singing his theme music pa rum pun pun pun, him and his puns
a rewrite of a planned Star Trek Colon The Next Generation script featuring gay characters and an AIDS metaphor
Google Dickgirl Orderer
Klono Imadeya
using a DNA database, it is possible to take information from a profile and manufacture DNA to match it, and that this can be done without access to any actual DNA from the person whose DNA they are duplicating
Harvey Weinstein's chronic hydrophobia
Say you're in Giant Italy, and you want to order your bread like a pro, All you have to do is hold down on the right earbud and say "Fee fi fo fum"
Google Nev R Prepare
Say you're in Little Italy, and you want to order your pasta like a pro, All you have to do is spend a few hours learning to speak basic Italian, or just polite English because you are still in an English speaking country where people will understand you
World Braces for Onslaught of Dumbass Americans Spending Ten Fucking Minutes Ordering in Restaurants Because They Can't Figure Out How to Make Their Headphones Tell Them How To Say "Large Sausage" in Italian
Say you're in Little Italy, and you want to order your pasta like a pro, All you have to do is hold down on the right earbud and say, "Help me speak Italian"
Harvey Weinstein's The Aristocrats
British Aristocrat Liza Campbell Says Harvey Weinstein Propositioned Her to 'Jump in the Bath' with Him
Ezekiel, XXIX, seventeen days away, first rate buckwheat, bully oats and potatoes, nice strong teeth, hoop skirt fetish, mild case of dysentery
first rate buckwheat farming
workin' my way through college ridin' a piano droppin' the coffee fuck yeah
Sinatra says go fuck yourself!
My buckwheat looks first rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully
Once or twice, during the experiment, Beauty will be awakened, interviewed, and put back to sleep with an amnesia inducing drug that makes her forget that awakening
Monty from Hell
Ignorant Monty
Angelic Monty
wanting to make Kento love PERMS for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his arse for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his ears for his birthday
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his chocolate starfish for his birthday
Rowan was a physics teacher as implied by the America Association of Physics Teachers
wanting to make Kento cry milky tears from his lemonade snake for his birthday
fuck marry kill, dead, asleep, dreaming
consolidation of authority
Man called Pride Cymru reveller 'a faggot' and punched him
wanting to make Kento love SPERM for his birthday
changing all instances of "Rowan North" on the Wikipedia article "Ghostbusters OPEN PARENTHESIS MMXVI film CLOSE PARENTHESIS to "Ryan North"
a tedious, show nothing ad for an iPhone we already know is inferior, featuring shitty intrusive dubstep which like the iPhone itself has already become a relic of a former dominant form now sidelined by parallel development, and you can't skip the ad
wanting to make Kento love eggs for his birthday
Chrissa, XX, one minute away, slight disability, doesn't like you, her friend doesn't like you either
Rachel, XXXIX, sixty nine minutes away, barely mobile, demands tribute of no fewer than two whole pork bellies per date, refuses to date anyone with a penis bigger than hers
Shoe, XXIX, O minutes away, totally not Kento, will supply own kimchi
Chantal, XXIV, four minutes away, dresses like Stevie Nicks, eats like Kirstie Ally, tells stories like Lena Dunham, sounds like Robert Stack in drag
I would bang Crystal
Kitty, XXII, fourteen minutes away, her youngest child is starting school this year, loves a man who can fix a couch, will settle for a mother figure slash apprenticeship
Crystal, XIX, thirty two minutes away, smells like onions, its glandular, she's medicating it with home remedies, believes some contentious things about the Middle East
Sasha, XVIII, nine minutes away, staying home because she's feeling down from her period, doesn't like her fringe, just wants a chat really, maybe about the last episode of Girls she saw but she's not caught up so no spoilers
deleting your cookies daily snd disallowing history in other apps as well as third party cookies, purely because targeted ads are never "here's a great place to eat" but "here's a data mining app to join for imaginary hookups with fictitious women"
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'innied' against his wishes by MaleOnline
on my credit card bill it said "Cleveland Stamos x I"
seeing an ad that promises you to "meet and hook girl in your area free"
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'outed' against his wishes by MaleOnline
A teenage Conservative Party activist says he is "devastated" and "living in fear" after he was allegedly 'outed' against his wishes by MailOnline
that looking back the judges seem to have been three fat guys and a brothel madam
when you were young and once a year they televised the regional beauty contest that fed into Miss England and so on and you just thought it was normal
in hindsight I don't know why I even wanted John Stamos
once ordering a gag from Eleanor and when it arrived it was a clown who immediately puked on the doormat and left
Potted plant files fifty million dollar paternity suit against Harvey Weinstein
Sivan says Weinstein ejaculated quickly into a potted plant that was in the vestibule and then proceeded to zip up his pants and they walked back into the kitchen
Mr Gay UK is a British annual beauty contest for gay men, with regional heats held in gay nightclubs with a grand final usually at a gay venue
But, instead she was met with audible groans and blatant disgust every time she walked in the door, which had to have been pretty damaging for young Kimmy
I'd ask Eleanor but I hear she has a gag order
wondering what the going rate for having Ashley Judd watch you shower for, say, ten minutes is
still to this day finding the way natiloids mate adorable
the poor guy can't even have dinner in a hotel restaurant because of the way he BEEES pudding FUCK
the poor guy can't even have dinner in a hotel restaurant because of the way he eats pudding
it's kind of amazing he hasn't slipped into the toilet and drowned already
that's why he needs shower supervision
he just never learned
actually, scratch that, cave trolls have better grooming habits
sometimes he looks like Ray Winstone is horribly allergic to bees
feeling like every picture of Harvey Weinstein should bear the caption "They have a cave troll!"
he put a nutsack on Gwyneth Paltrow years before that kind of thing was cool, and anticipated that in the future we would need to kick her in the nuts
signing your jelly related injury liability waiver form but never hearing back from Jelly & Milkshake, Inc, a subsidiary of GlaxoStarBangers LLC
Weinstein was appointed an honorary Commander of the Order of the British Empire in recognition of his contributions to the British film industry because apparently that's all it takes
the only cool conceit was that they could artificially lower the 'sea' level as part of the tidal mechanism and for cleaning, which was a really neat thing to imagine
that's why I know so much about cephalopod reproduction and anatomy
plus it just generally wasn't very good
it was very like that scene in Jurassic Cage where Laura Dern sticks her hand up one of Nicolas Cage's clone's butt and jerks him off from the inside
Michael Crichton would also have sued the crap out of me
once trying to write a story about a breeding program for rediscovered giant ammonites set in a sort of wilder Seagaia Ocean Dome artificial habitat, but abandoning it after it got weird and quite frankly blaming Japan for that
fuck marry kill, a cuttlefish, an octopus, a squid
a mash up of Eye Of The Tiger and Walk the Dinosaur, Eye Of The Tigersaur
fuck a cuttlefish
The vodka is excellent but the meat is lousy
a mash up of Eye Of The Tiger and Edge Of Seventeen, Seventeen Tigers
Pokemon Tejas and Jayhawk
screaming "JAY HAWKINS!" at Screamin' Jay Hawkins in Kansas
All III Billion Yahoo Accounts Were Affected by MMXIII Attack
I'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'mI'm HenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenryHenry thethethethethethethethe VIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIII IIIIIIII amamamamamamamam IIIIIIII amamamamamamamam
The "hack" is remarkably simple, Motherboard reports, because the smart dildo creates a Wi Fi access point with the easily guessed default password "VIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIIIVIII"
Thanks for using me, Throats
Walk by dildo hacking is the sexy end of the growing security risk posed by the internet of things
Thanks for using Hate, Storm
Thanks for using Steam, Thor
Pokemon Quiet and Respectful
By hour three in dude's car it got less fun
Miller's River Potato Monument
a cult of devil worshipers involved in the mutilation, sacrifice and cannibalism of numerous children
twice
getting a lick job from Ted Kennedy in La Brasserie
komrad
is not funny when a car spins around and speeds in the other direction
shooting John F Kennedy in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
Sharon Tate had an estimated hot carcass weight of seven hundred pounds at the time she harpooned by members of the Manson Family
penning webcomics
He also reportedly tried to molest a flight attendant in his judicial chambers
something something Fatworld something Roman Polanski something the largest mega minor
new audiences do not have the experience spoiled with any prior information about the play
creating webcomics
furiously ranking the largest mini major company, the smallest major company, and the largest mega minor company with both hands in the California Suite of the Peninsula Beverly Hills, this Sunday at eight in the evening
wondering how the largest mini major company, the smallest major company, and the largest mega minor company would rank in largeness
taking the largest mini major dump
TWC is one of the largest mini major film studios in North America
The Adventure Time comics were penned by webcomic creator Ryan North
he was the guy who came up with Adventure Time, right
an old dinosaur learning new ways
I can't comment on that due to pending litigation
fuck marry kill, Roger Ailes, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby
an individual who helps to better the Canadian comedy community
it's plain to see you remember me
Jumpin Jack Geldof
Joly Jackin Geldof
Haydrew Christfield
Joly Jackin
Bepe Kinglo
daytime television really taking a toll on your imagination
Fifty First Dates but the dates are all weird, awkward partnerships like Ben Kingsley and Hope Solo, Elly Jackson and John Astin, Hayden Christensen and Andrew Garfield, and so on
drawing a picture of Ben Kingsley and Hope Solo having an awkward first date
Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation
clocking the T rex at less than twelve parsecs
clocking the T rex at forty rods to the hogshead
Kento Ikeda FGA, LhHC
clocking the T rex at fifty kilometres an hour
clocking the T rex at thirty miles an hour
'cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do, I'd still miss you, Willie, and I don't wanna miss a thing
I know you do, babe, I know you do
I Dream of Big Willie
All of the profiles featured were for individuals with jobs displayed as "MD, at the Hospital"
being on the Spider Man movies, then getting on up by a sex machine
being first got up, then getting up, then getting on up by a sex machine
being on the Spider Man movies but not being granted the rank of Avenger
emptying a sack of coal in a cul de sac
forgetting to make the bed, then forgetting you forgot to make the bed
going to school a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
Pokemon Slavers, Drunken Parties To Murder, Junkies, Bigots and People Who Believe Easily Falsifiable Pseudoscience
Wibiquilra O'Smilliden
fuck marry kill, Elizabeth Montgomery, Nicole Kidman, Phyllis Thaxter
Theresa May wears a bracelet of Marxist political icon Frida Kahlo and she nearly chokes to death
fuck marry kill, Will Smith, Robin Williams, Shaqille O'Neal, Barbara Eden
the War on Christmas ends in victory for the atheists
Santa Claus found dead BALLS DEEP in Turkey #YOLO
Santa Claus found dead in Turkey
The Dark Crystal, but the Dicksis are chasing down the Gilflings
bottoming for dickgirl Theresa May in XXX Downing Street X
there's still time, she's pretty desperate to keep her job
you owe me four minutes
I'm gonna be honest, I was expecting her to take off her clothes
EXPERIENCED GILF FUCKS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN ONE DAY
eating The Asshole in a class of slavers, drunken parties to murder, junkies, bigots, and people who believe easily falsifiable pseudoscience
you're perfect, yes it's true
we skirt around the danger zone
at least it's an achievement of sorts
being The Asshole in a class of slavers, drunken parties to murder, junkies, bigots, and people who believe easily falsifiable pseudoscience
something cool against the skin is what you could be needing
being the middle aged guy who talks about as Springsteen might put it "glory days" a lot more than any other period of his life and suspecting this means that you are the asshole and have probably always been the asshole
the guy you knew at school who did really well for himself as a chef and even took over his dad's restaurant after his dad died, but who then turned out to be a slaver and spent four years in prison for it
being kind of relieved at his mother's funeral when you knew you'd likely never see him again
your parent's the
not really wanting anything to do with your friend after he got drunk at your parent's the and spent four hours berating them, you, and "Them", who you assume weren't giant radioactive ants, for denying that oil is an inexhaustible bacterial resource
apollo jism
that it was mostly the Roman Polanski apologist stance that really made you reconsider that acquaintanceship
Doctor Dickbutt
Former doc gets prison after botched butt, penis surgeries
the loudmouthed bass who became one of your wall's most resonant and hated animatronic characters
the loudmouthed buffoon who became one of TV's most resonant and beloved television characters and then President
the loudmouthed buffoon who became one of TV's most resonant and beloved television characters
T'vomy Manr, 'distinctively Armenian' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Partyman always ruins parties
all they have to do is clear the dead bodies away
By the end of the video it appears Partyman had poisoned the tank of fluid and all party goers are dead
Ancient Chimpanzee Astronauts
Twinkle Tush
Ancient chimpanzees genetically passed oral roberts to the earliest humans millions of years ago when our lineage split
that you feel ridiculous saying "ok google" and wish they would address the problem, making the phrase something more like "okeley dokely googlebuddy" or "derherrr okey doke googler herrr" or something
Apple Maps, for the anus but tending to get you poked in the eye
Google Maps, but for the anus
Google Play, but for the anus
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of pure water which has self ionized such that it contains slightly more hydronium ions than hydroxide ions to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of milk to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of carbonated drinks to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of vitamin C to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of vinegar to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of lemons to under XVIIIs
announcing a new offence to prevent the sale of acids to under XVIIIs
This is a time for us to unite as a family, to focus on the fact that I'm stuck in the kitchen window trying to sneak back in
Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $XLVM for that doll
A small group or one man laid waste to a city with dedicated, fearless police officers desperately trying to help, because of access to an insane amount of firepower
Tom Petty, 'ditsy icicle TV Armenian' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Tom Petty, 'distinctively American' rocker, dies aged LXVI
Googlo oss
Ancient chimpanzees genetically passed oral herpes to the earliest humans millions of years ago when our lineage split
okay Ass, lube me up
okay Ass
Google Ass
google glass, but for the anus
googly eyes, but for the anus
there ate or there eats
breaking your spine in a bra
ur dyslexia larping youf
Tom Potto, Shire pipeweed grower
your dyslexia larfing up
tho dooth of Tom Potto
the death of Tom Potty
always imagining Kento to be a Kraft tube
always imagining Kento to be a butt freak
fuck marry kill, wallis simpson, oj simpson, lisa simpson
there is or there are
wallis simpson naked pictures
oj simpson naked pictures
lisa simpson naked pictures
there was there was
wondering how much discussion there was to find a name for sea cucumber butt spines there was before they just settled on anal teeth
www dot summonanevenlargerman dot com
the death of Tom Petty
Baltimeeth
anal teeth
some sea cucumbers that have these kind of spines around the anus called anal teeth
the YouTube app but it's not fucking garbage and lets you filter out ads and spam instead of laboriously scrolling past them
ashley simpson puked pictures
ashley simpson nuked pictures
DinoTendies
Kentrocity
searching instead of entering a regret
ashley simpson naked pictures
playing Planescape Colon Torment for the first time in like fifteen years
something something pennisfemales
searching up dick stuff as you do and getting the suggestions "minimum size of pennis to satisfy a woman", "are breasts an organ", and "female organ pictures"
Hung Sheldon
Juan Baptista dos Santos
Young Sheldon
bocomong o bookoopor
bee cumming a beekeeper
becoming a beekeeper
wondering what motivates one to FUCK! not just one but thousands of BEEEES
Trump dedicates embezzled federal funds to horrible family anf opprobrious companions
Trump dedicates golf win to hurricane victims
wondering what motivates one to fuck not just one but thousands of flutes
Kento 'Cum Behemoth Titan I' Ikeda
Kento 'Onetime Cum Bath Hit' Ikeda
he can completely envelop a doorknob with his foreskin
Pokemon Art and Pornography
fill out Eleanor's form and pay the processing fee
Look, if you were just show me on skype I wouldn't have to ask
They then asked me to describe my body hair
Kento 'Hot Time Tub Machine' Ikeda
Maggie Gyllenhaal 'Colon Pornography is a fart norm'
god dammit, Eleanor
'Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon Pornography is an art' form
'Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon Pornography is an art form'
Maggie Gyllenhaal 'Colon Pornography is an art form'
wondering if Billy Ocean is regret index rachel
wondering if Nicole Ritchie is regret index rachel
wondering if Richie Rich is regret index rachel
wondering if Rachel, mother of Joseph and Benjamin, is regret index rachel
getting Lydon sauce all round your mouth and down your chin and a little bit on your thighs and some in your hair and a streak over your shoulder with some spattered on your xhest and a thick blob across the bridge of your nose you fat gay Asian bitch
wondering what's wrong with jizzing on thousands of flutes and distributing them to ten year olds #kinkshaming
OC parents worry about kid's health amid investigation into flutes possibly containing bodily fluids
Flutes stained with bodily fluids distributed to southern California elementary schools
Multiple California School Districts Warn Flutes Could Be Tainted With Semen
Schools warn flutes could be tainted with semen
Teacher arrested for allegedly contaminating THOUSANDS of flutes given to California schoolchildren with his SEMEN
wondering if Rachel Riley is regret index rachel
drawing a picture of Rachel Riley wrestling with the Monty Hall Problem
the death of Monty Hall
Math teacher investigated for allegedly contaminating students' naive sets with semen, solve for x
Music teacher investigated for allegedly contaminating students' flutes with semen
Jack Black's Minecraft audio herpes
Jack Black's Minecraft audio book
Maggie Gyllenhaal Colon 'Pornography is an art form'
taking the hugest FULLY FUNCTIONAL dump on Patrick Stewart's chest
taking the hugest dump on Patrick Stewart's chest
getting Byron sauce all round your mouth and down your chin and a little bit on your thighs and some in your hair and a streak over your shoulder with some spattered on your xhest and a thick blob across the bridge of your nose you dirty bitch
innovativex "heavier eve rapists" including electric shocks and pumping ammonia into offenders' asses via anal clan nouns
The CUDDLES
The Orville
innovativex "aversive therapies" including electric shocks and pumping ammonia into offenders' noses via nasal cannulas
really wishing somebody from the paralle universe where the Beatles Lord of the Rings movie was made would stop by and give a brief review because it sounds like it just might be the worst thing ever
Rosie Cotton weighed over forty bushels by the reckoning of Gondor, or sixty bushels by the customary reckoning of the Shire
Extra Extra Extra Large Earth
not being sure that the suzerain certainty of FanMM should be contrasted with the eccentricity of a slightly barmy academic mostly crapping out fiction to give himself an excuse to write more languages only nerds with too much free time would ever learn
writing "theories" regarding a fictional universe of your own creation
drawing a picture of JRR Tolkien furiously theorizing about elves
in the same text he theorizes that some Orcs may have been Elves, who then mated with these beasts and with Men
question your sexuality
fuck marry kill, The red Mt Fuji made of Miyazaki Wagyu, a meaty sphincter of vat grown purpose dedicated flesh, your number one celebrity crush but only for procreation in a zombie apocalypse scenario
Dad Daddy Two Daddies Long Distance Daddies Geldof
taking a dump so huge yet so curiously pleasing that you begin to question your sexuality
The red Mt Fuji made of Miyazaki Wagyu
Twin Long Distance Daddies #Two
Grans who put you to bed and tell you not to believe in ghosts, Or maybe it's dad who tucks you up, Dad, Daddy, Two daddies, Long distance daddies
building the gayest shit
that from now on you will refer to defecating as "building a shit"
after Aragorn's death Legolas built a gay shit and left Middle earth to go to Valinor, and that Gimli went with him
after Aragorn's death Legolas built a grey ship and left Middle earth to go to Valinor, and that Gimli went with him
we didn't write a Die Hard
John McClane, blown up planes, what else do I have to name
even lifelong virgins worry about std's
fuck marry kill, John McClane, John McCain, Michael Caine
being disappointed that the three letter code for Star Trek Colon Discovery is DIS and not STD
Gay couple will no longer appear in John McClane's TV ad after homophobic abuse
Gay couple will no longer appear in John McCain's TV ad after homophobic abuse
Gay couple will no longer appear in McCain's TV ad after homophobic abuse
the nineteen sixty three Pontiac Tempest
T'Kuvma
an island surrounded by big water
I got no more use for dis guy
no self respecting Southerner uses instant grits
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mitterrand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "L'Abeille et l'architect"
If you can't treat someone with dignity and respect, then you need to get out
when I find myself in times of trouble, Ayn Rand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, " "
accidentally implying that Michael Jackson had sex with his hot wife
when I find myself in times of trouble, Michael Jackson comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "eeh HEE! Ow! Shamon chucka chucka eeeh hee mngbapmngbapmngbap dukka eeh heee"
dang ol dingledongers
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mithrand comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "none shall pass"
this is no way to run an ophthalmology department
you'll probably get struck off, especially if you keep shooting your patients in the eye with that bb gun
except for your med school exams
two out of three ain't bad, though
you're not his daughter
accidentally implying that Jackson C Frank got shot in the eye by his hot daughter
rainbow kids rude programme
Kentoptilos makes me feel good
Kentoptilos gobustus
Kentoptilos robustus
Leptoptilos robustus
bottoming for Old Took in Fallohide Your Sackville Baggins
there's a little Fallohide in every Sackville Baggins
I refuse to answer, I'm strictly a Sackville Bagginses man
fuck marry kill, Harfoots, Stoors, Fallohides
fuck marry kill, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Jesse "The Body" Ventura
bottoming for Jane Fondler and Rubbit Redraw in Arseholes At Night
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mithrandir comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, "none shall pass"
plans for the film came to nothing because Tolkien didn't want the Beatles in the film
Remo learns such skills as dodging bullets, running on water and wet cement
Cartoonist Uncle Sam Beasley, revived from cryogenic sleep and armed with an animatronic eye and hand
fuck marry kill, wikipedia's furry rabbit hole, Bilbo's hobbit hole, Kento's k hole
the thing to remember is that if you're offered a Glasgow Kiss you should politely decline, and perhaps forfeit your brown fried goods in recompense, if you have any
going up to Bigg Market with Tosche to pick up some power converters
getting a mediacityuk from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Marylebone Station
Bigg Market is famed for its chest shitting displays
getting a Bigg Market from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind mediacityuk
wondering if people shit on each other's chests a lot there, too
getting a Marylebone Station from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Bigg Market
we've also got a Cleveland
What's In A Manacled Elf
What's In A Candle Flame
Cleveland Steamer steamers are the worst
wondering if cities and regions of the UK have traditional sex acts associated with them as in the US, such as the Cleveland Steamer steamer or the Alabama hot pocket
Piledriving Miss Daisy would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
Driving Miss Daisy would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
Driving would cause damage to a woman's ovaries
meek galactic ripsaw
sick wet magical rape capitalism
sick wet magical rape
wreckage capitalism
how many death sticks Due Deathner would deal if Due Deathner could deal death sticks
Due Deathner, death stick dealer
listening to Hyce Dallas Blowhard
brewing Dyce Dallas Howard
wishing you'd early adopted Twitter, with a weakly amusing joke account or series of such until one of them took, got a book deal and got on with being zzy list like all the other Twitter accounts that aren't Stephen Fry
once following a joke historical account on Twitter because the operator was drunk and funny, but subsequently never amused you and seemed to be more interested in whining about all the people they'd unfollowed for not following back than in witticism
Foods known to reduce flatulence include fish, rice, dairy products, fish and strained fruit juice
wishing that Twitter had some kind of contingent follow, like if someone follows you and you follow them back but then they later unfollow you, you will automatically unfollow them as well
The sheets in the mansion were stained
a crossover sequel to Children Of Men and Junior, Get To The Stirrups
the huff of Due Deathner
the death of Hugh Hefner
The United Kingdom, one of the very few stable nations with a functioning government, is deluged by asylum seekers fleeing the chaos and war which have taken hold around the world
Even lighthearted comedies such as Bee Movie, Bridesmaids and The Simpsons can trigger the water works in passengers who would normally remain dry eyed if watching these on the ground
bottoming for Mason Jar Williams in Classical Ass VII
a parody of Tubular Bells, Tibanna Bells
diddly diddly doo dum diddly diddly doo
makin' my way across town ridin' a piano shoutin' 'bout walruses fuck yeah
pricing Bryce Dallas Howard
Classical Gas but instead of the riff everybody remembers it's the cantina song from Star Wars again played on guitar
Billy Dee Williams' less successful brother, Mason
loving Billy Dee Williams but Billy Dee is not my lover, he's just a guy who says that I am the one, who's going to spunk inside his bum
loving Billy Dee Williams but god damn if he doesn't make everything he says sound like he's struggling to read it from an especially small print script
editing Lando's words so that he says "you've gotta cum in my guts a lot after I pull you through gritted teeth"
editing Lando's words so that he says "you've gotta cum in my guts a lot after I pull you" through gritted teeth
The complete act took, the coach testified, "No more than fifteen seconds"
John Williams' less successful brother, Mason
maybe if it was just a soundbent loop of Lando saying "you got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled"
thinking a parody of Classical Gas called Tibanna Gas would be funny then realizing it doesn't have any lyrics
tibanna gas, I assume
mining Dickgirl Fatso's tibanna gas, if you know what I mine
mining Dickgirl Fatso's tibanna gas, if you know what I mean
Dickgirl Fatso, tibanna gas miner
voting Dickgirl Fatso in Twenty Twenty
Kushner registered in New York as a dickgirl voter
Kim Dong Kushner
Kim Jong Kushner
Kim Kushner
Kushner registered in New York as a female voter
biowang
biotwang
doing Bryce Dallas Howard
a crossover sequel to When Harry Met Sally, Harry Potter, Saving Private Ryan and Bums, When Accio Bum Saved Dumbledore
When John Cena breaks up with Tiffany he becomes very depressed and gets kicked out of his house and joins a group of hobos
a crossover sequel to Harry Potter, Saving Private Ryan, and Dumb and Dumber, Snaping Private Dumb and Dumbledore
Rename Humpback Whales to Humpy Boys!!!
a crossover sequel to Harry Potter and Saving Private Ryan, Snaping Private Dumbledore
I Asked Tinder For My Data, It Took A Dump On My Chest
ROBBERS crack KISSER clown HOT POCKET in death of Florida woman
Cops crack killer clown cold case in death of Florida woman
going clown to the river
walling up walruses in Russia
Pokemon Priapism and Insomnia
writing readies instead of reading
readies about furries on wikipedia and seeing a blue link for "plushophilia" and deciding to just stay away from any wikis for a while
coming up suddenly, did find me imbracing the girl con my hand sub su coats, and endeed I was with my main in her cunny
The Pope can't stop masturbating in church
drawing a picture of Kevin Clash bandaging up his rubbed raw pinky finger after a particularly long sermon
Elmo can't stop masturbating in church
The Pope was tricked into dating Leonardo DiCaprio
at least use the bathroom, Samuel
Samuel Pepys can't stop masturbating in church
my foot hurt too, but I served anyway
A bear was tricked into dating Leonardo DiCaprio
The Pope was tricked into shitting in the Vatican
guzzling goslings with Donald Duck
Ariel Winter "Pegging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP"
Ariel Winter "Begging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP" Is Made Up
Ariel Winter "Begging" Boyfriend To Get Her Pregnant "ASAP"
fromidable!
Since Weird Butt Stuff Colon The Movie , women are more liberated and are able to infantilize their own lives in return for disturbing relationships from men who are more likely to be diseased sexually and are in turn infantile and unrealistic about life
Since Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more liberated and are able to express these demands
Donald Trump was tricked into an angry public outburst
BatLabels
greedily cannibalising Ryan with Ryan Gosling
Chicken Supreme Court has option to duck travel swan ruling
Harambe, blown away, what else do I have to say
fuck marry kill, Wedge, Biggs, Porkins
wondering why anyone would ban ducks from traveling
Supreme Court has option to duck travel ban ruling
using the word "rifletastic"
signed, Crying Hayden Christensen
real talk, I'd take MMXVII Rachel Bilson over the crushing emptiness of life alone in your late thirties any day
tired of his shit
she's just tired
real talk, Rachel Bilson's face is fucking messed up
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the chimpanzee out of a zoo trope
tricking a primate into shooting another primate
shooting her left one until she had a dead gorilla
killing the Cincinatti gorillas
wondering if Rachel Bilson will end up with Jake Lloyd and regret index rachel will end up with Hayden Christensen
wondering if Rachel Bilson is regret index rachel
that's face down, ass up, Porkins
setting tits in sofa calk position
humming vibration was produced when air flowed over the cilia in a male's inflated neck pouch
Myke Fuckerbee
Mark Fuckerbee
Facebook but every face is a fuck and every book is a bee and every time someone posts racist memes or gets in an argument with a relative or friend of a friend the ad revenue dips
BF Skinner, I hardly know 'er!
fucking skinny bees with BF Skinner
bottoming for Railer Swift in Look Who You Made Me Do VII
Teardrops and Facefucks
Taylor Swift and Adam Levine's album of duets about Eiffel Towering Kento
kind of wanting Taylor Swift and Adam Levine to start dating just for the deluge of shitty self pitying bullshit songs their inevitable breakup would undoubtedly produce
wondering how many songs there are about two people in a long term relationship who don't fuck each other and stalk each other and do all the high school drama shit
wondering how many songs there are about two people in a long term relationship who don't fuck each other over and don't stalk each other and don't do all the high school drama shit
swampdonkeyeing bulls in your Tsixteen
The man who dies thus rich dies disgraced
a guy who's high on drugs stalking someone's girlfriend on the Tube
I walk into an empty room, suddenly my heart goes boo urns
Stacey's bee has got it going fuck
Stacey's Dong
Stacey's mom has got a giant dong, it's so fat and, oh, it's so long, Stacey can't you see, your mom stands to take a pee, I know it's really wrong, but I'm in love with your mom's dong
imagining the song "Kento's dad is such a fuckin' fag" sung to the tune of Stacey's Mom
bullseyeing swampdonkeys in your T sixteen
draining the wanky mopeds
draining the swamp donkey
a boy so learned, that, had he ruled, he would have as a learned man
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner, even though the au pair we had was a real swamp donkey and my wife still thought I wanted to cheat
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner, and my much younger wife and I are horrified
My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner
fuck marry kill, Dave Grohl, David Letterman, Dangerous Dave
I can't do that, Dave
fuck marry kill, Alvin, Simon, Theodore
learning to use a food processor after years of working with different machinery
Rafael Martinez Jr in New Jersey allegedly had sexual intercourse with the unidentified XV year old girl for more than a year at his home
they're going to have to eat something
wondering why a Canadian antianorexia charity would need a dick in its logo
'Maybe Eat, Eh' production company on global hunt to find dick artist
'Maya the BEEEEEE' production company on global hunt to FUCK! dick artist
'Maya the Bee' production company on global hunt to find dick artist
seeing an ad that you truly have no fucking idea what it's trying to say
People got their local newspapers for next to nothing in exchange for allowing girdle ads to infiltrate their brains
Battlegrounds on II pcs at the same time
BARH
Felch Township, Michigan
I don't drink covfefe
PUBG
I have a very plastic sex unit erection
abhoring a whore in Bora Bora
Kientau
Kentochthonic humor
Watch Every Episode of Saved By the Bell For a Chance to Pour Boiling Hot Lobster Bisque on Dustin Diamond's Crotch!
I have no frame of reference for a coffee can
getting your bacon in suitcases and your bread in individually wrapped slices
The Curious Cans of Chris Coffee
I don't drink coffee
getting your coffee in cans instead of bags
ChodeWorld
I'm thinking like a coffee can, basically
I would rather not, he keeps trying to get me to eat doughnuts on Skype
I'd assume that fatworld dickgirl dicks are normal length but like five times the girth
you'd have to ask FanMM about that
wondering whether fatworld dickgirls are so corpulent they couldn't see their erections anyway assuming that thheir hearts could take the strain or whether fatworld and dickgirl physics come jointly into play and they gleefully wave around colossal wangs
Yuge Luther
Trump touts 'Big Luther's' doubleplusgood at Alabama rally
now knowing what Donald Trumo nicknamed his penis
Trump touts 'Big Luther's' loyalty, electability at Alabama rally
a viral video to kiss all viral videos
a viral video to kill all viral videos
joyless sex loveless marriage unsuccessful attempt to kill, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Garner
I have very unrealistic expectations
you couldn't afford me
see, everyone's doing it, why not give it a try
Weiner convinced teen to strip, fondle herself on Skype colon feds
Perry Como, you're not our homo!
James Comey, you're not our homie!
Rachel's Green
Piddler's Green
Diddler's Green
They are attacked by zombies while Tracy repairs the vehicle with the assistance of a deaf Amish man named Samuel
Fiddler's Green
Fignatious Huffnuckle's Disciplinary Belt Buckle
Brexit was a stunt that went so badly wrong the country is now a burning car, sliding along on its roof, heading for the crowd
digger please, that's my ditch
gansta archeology
swans strike again
four anus steel bar pierces worker's shoulder, pops out of his foot
four foot steel bar pierces worker's anus, pops out of his shoulder
Nude Sneerson, Boonta Eve Podrace snack vendor
unprecedented nude sneer son one has never heard from any of his predecessors
unprecedented rude nonsense one has never heard from any of his predecessors
TfL concluded the ride hailing app firm was not fit and proper to hold a private hire operator licence
Barely a dozen shoppers queue at Apple's flagship London store, says online newspaper which makes money selling ad space to internet retailers
'Boys brag' Colon Police say art teacher had sex with four students
Chlifford Chelebrates Chanukkah
Clifford Becomes A Man
Clifford Gets Circumcised
Clifford Celebrates Hanukkah
Oscar the Groupon
arguing over the cost of your dumpster sexual services with Leonardo DiCaprio and Oscar the Grouch
arguing over the cost of your bathroom sexual services with John Hagelin
arguing over the cost of your sexual services with John Hagelin
Hagelin said that while the number of murders had increased, the number of brutal murders had decreased
those puppies of women probably lick themselves
being unable to stay mad at puppies of women
those puppies of women probably like themselves
those sons of bitches probably like themselves
goddamn youth element
wondering why cold brew fans would be worried about a little risk of botulism, given their penchant for leaving moist foodstuffs sitting around for protracted periods while they ride around junk shops looking for authentic old crap to hide in their beards
Netflix yanks a kid's huge penis after finding a hidden episode of show
fuck marry kill, dickgirl Maya the Bee, Pedro Pony, Clifford the Big Red Dog
honestly wondering what kind of person the makers of Death Wish coffee are aiming for, because you doubt that a very high percentage of cold brew coffee drinkers want their cofee TO THE EXXXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Netflix yanks episode of kids' show after finding a huge hidden penis
Kento's elaborate parody of the Jackson's "Scream" music video wherein he plays the parts of both Kento and Kenta Ikeda and the chorus is "keep Eiffelin' me, just keep Eiffelin' me, makes me wanna scream" as he floats around being octuple Eiffel Towered
"Dirt Whisk, Eh" Coffee Recalled Over Possible Data, Eh
"Death Wish" Coffee Recalled Over Possible Death Risk
drawing a picture of Larry Page being Eiffel Towered by Andre MMM and Big Boi
wondering what OutKast did to get YouTube to automatically suggest 'Hey Ya' after literally any other song that has ever charted
every morning I had their flicks and gleets to look forward to, their asses pumping farts in my general direction as I silently gazed out the window
Nambia
we could duplicate him somehow
I seriously doubt there is anyone that dumb on the planet
tricking a person into dating Kento
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALF
never really understanding why a tyre company went around rating food, and understanding even less why anybody listened to them
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of ALI
reading AskHistorians in the voices of the cast of Frasier
you know me all too well
you thought I was going to say "it's hard to grasp," didn't you
it's quite a tusk
wondering how a walrus could possibly put a plushie on a desk
it was a very limited run
true story, a walrus bought them all and left them on every desk in his classroom
wondering what percentage of Ryan plushies ended up someone's butt
you keep coming back for it
yes dead air
the Ryan plushies sold gangbusters
I never thought I'd get rich doing it, I just wanted to put out something pointless and see if anybody would buy it, like say Ryan North plushies or tshirts with writing that isn't all that clever on
there would be like tge rhythm of the ambient audio through several hours, maybe even things like open fire or you know aspirational crap
so you're basically selling dead air
having a concept for an audio book series in which you actually read the book in real time, just not out loud, and offer the resulting audio unedited for sale, but not living anywhere quiet enough to do it even if you still had the means to record it
a scene which takes place in Tanis in a living room would be recorded in an actual living room
not remembering how vital that final knocking back is when Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
voler Sebastien Bras a partir de commune de Laguiole
not remembering how vital that final knocking back is when making bread
tubgirl balls
tubular bells
Man gets his penis stuck inside a dumbbell plate
Phoebe Buffett says Dow will top one million in the next one hundred years
Warren Buffett says Dow will top one million in the next one hundred years, promises his thralldom to the otherworldly horror Gal Athgoz will allow him to live at least ten times that long
The codes were issued using an algorithm generating more than two quintillion combinations of letters and numbers in order to generate highly secure barcodes
Kento's COBBLEKNOCKERS Tourette's by BUMFANGLE CUNNYWANGER proxy
just thinking callbacks are funny
wondering how you knew my name is Jan
wondering what's got you so into nut biting lately
You Don't Have to Be a Whore to Celebrate Hashish, Jan
drawing a picture of Kento retching up a frozen corn cob while Frosty the Snowman screams in agony and the Nutcracker bites his nuts
You Don't Have to Be Jewish to Celebrate Rosh Hashana
saved Kento's life many a time
the icy penis gag reflex
the icy boobs reflex
Dobby is a house elf played by Buzz Aldrin
having never seen or read any of the Harrys Potter but feeling a duty to joke about them
he gently clamps his hand over her mouth and whispers in her ear, "Sorry for the herpes"
the icy penis reflex
mensurating
I'm gonna be real with you, I don't know jack shit about Harry Potter past the first movie, other than the Snape kills Dumbledore thing
Harry Potter but Dobby has a lucid moment upon receipt of a used sock from the bedroom of a teenage boy
a proposition which would reverse the result of the civil war
Stalag fiction
prison bitch
seriously though if he slipped something into the divorce papers like "I am supposed to be a master of our own home but in practice have a lower rank" or "house is constantly filling up with sand and she thinks it's fine" I'd be his bitch
thinking about Hayden Christensen a lot, but in what you hope is a more affectionately ironic way, like the way the Full House Reviewed guy thinks about Full House
writing the regret "Hayden Christensen is reportedly single again" and not even thinking about how Rachel Bilson must also be single again, assuming no third party involvement
Hayden Christensen is reportedly single again
William the Conqueror was before Richard the Third
fuck marry kill, Craig David, Craig Charles, Larry David
filthy experiences
Paula Radcliffe Sought As 'Person Of Interest' by Colonrado Police
bottoming for Billy Big Baculum in The Straight One
Police Search For 'Mad Pooper' Who Dumps And Runs
yarr spin me right round baby right round like a pirate baby yo ho ho ho
Es mejor que no le digamos de lo que estabamos hablando, no lo entenderia
Craig David once met a girl on Monday, took her for a drink on Tuesday, hunted her for sport on Wednesday, and spent Thursday and Friday cleaning the carcass before curing the remains over the weekend
Craig David will hunt you for sport simply because you dared attract his attention
Craig David has been named the "most dangerous" celebrity to search online in the UK
Debt is a huge emotional burden for people
The Guardian view on the grundle tube bomb colon keep calm and carry on
Playing for the Grundle Kings, Bokai began his career in the Major Leagues at shortstop, his rookie year being twenty fifteen
Grundle, Ontario
Grundle Calling
Grundle swings like a pendulum do
Comedians in Cars Getting Covfefe
covfefe with ethicists
Grundle Fashion Week
Grundle Underground
the UK but every reference to London is changed to Grundle
that the very idea of Time Travelling Hitler changing the future is considered ridiculous, indicating that Hitler has already begun his sinister machinations and nobody turned up to Stephen Hawking's party because Hitler already killed all the good guys
that ethicists worry about the implications of travelling back in time to assassinate Hitler, but nobody worries about Time Travelling Hitler coming forward to change the future to his own liking
wondering if you're criticising the new regrets one by one to stop the future of the 'dex, Hitler
Some LXXXVI% of cars are now bought on PCP
believing that Mshindi exists, and that he is a very good gorilla, but not believing that he was capable of preventing the death spiral of reality
fifteen months, we can either split the difference or watch me struggle on under the weight of a dead gorilla meme until the end of November
yeah it was forty nine times
forty nine times
bursting wursts in a Best Western
Fat Kid Mendoza
wondering if you're going through all the old regrets one by one to learn the history of the 'dex
directly naming Kento as the First Deplorable Hillary
Cincinnati Zoo welcomes new gorilla one year after the death of Harambe
wondering why big red dogs hold such great appeal for humans that, say, big red cats don't
directly naming Kento as the First Deplorable, Hillary
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later
the one where someone offers a weak defense of an illogical position, unaware that this mediocrity would lead directly to the death of Harambe and the madness his absence unleashed upon us all
that whole run of politically quaint by modern standards, eerily foreboding, and dickgirl regrets just before and after sixteen thousand
getting the "don't join ISIS" ads, because Google clearly knows you better than you know yourself
that one of rachel's best friends is a moderately famous movie star and softcore lesbian
glowing in a net with Chloe Annett
Bai Ling's happiness
Myke Hawke's happiness
being suddenly smitten with Indira Joshi
it'd be improved
hot cunt dancing, wow
watching Countdown
mowin makes me feel good
I ain't afraid of no grass
peeling an appealing ape
pissing on the customers in a brothel toilets until their skin comes off with John Peel
unisex salmon
being in the Elite Four but not receiving the rank of master
Masters who reviewed the video game said the Pokemon Spelled the Wrong Words and Gesticulated Gibberish
Experts who reviewed the video said the interpreter spelled the wrong words and gesticulated gibberish
Kento's cloaca being regretted by just forty % of respondents
urbnadcotiayrn not yet having a definition for "bombing the tube"
I ain't no grass
how do you know he's not a vampire
responding to the headline "Could CCTV footage show the Parsons Green tube bomber" with the thought "he's not a fucking vampire for fuck's sake" and this kind of groaning snorting despairing noise
moisture farming all my life and not a drop spilt
What all pizza will be like after Brexit
Justin Bieber trusting beavers, eh
He ate a piece of cake and died in his sleep
Third Reich school textbooks included arithmetic problems on how much it would cost to care for a person with a disability for a lifetime
the trust fund had enabled him to save Pope Benedict XVI from attempted poisoning by the Sicilian Colombian drug mafia, thanks to a tip off from the Chinese secret service
smelling spades with Ellen Page
realising weeks later that "more poutine than man, now" would have been much funnier
fuck marry kill, Marlon Brando, Marlon Wayans, a marlin
drawing a picture of Marlon Brando being Eiffel Towered by Nelson de la Rosa and Temuera Morrison
Brando absolutely fell in love with this guy
being a big man in the hardcore gay porn world
it's almost worth going back to television
no joke, I used to get five minute unskippable ads on youtube
a thirty second ad for Coca Cola that you can't even skip
sucking her left one until she had Iran nightie
sucking her left one until she had a right innie
BEEcat GoldFUCK
they're struggling to get Cotton Yancy back and the whole thing is up in the air
wondering when they're going to release the second entry in the Battlecreek extended cinematic universe, otherwise known as the Creekverse
smelling Helena Bonham Carter's bum in Carthage
the cycle of sexual violence
Man charged over cycle bottom slapping sex attacks
writig regreds wid a bock doze
regrets that are only funny ig Bobcat Goldthwaite says them
Eustace L Iftingdrinks
the brief freedom between waking up and moving your head to any position other than horizontal recumbence, at which point the snot must flow
seeing a singles profile for a "wwf" and thinking Santa with muscles
Every bit as lazily offensive as its cast and concept would suggest
seeing a singles profile for a "dwf" and thinking dwarf
You stole nifty frizzling kids!
stealing that guy's fizzy lifting drink from the communal chocolate factory
Rob Reiner's no brainer mop strainer
You stole fizzy lifting drinks!
There was a time when breakfast telly, with its bland yet jolly presenters, terrible sweaters and sunshiney motifs, was about easing viewers into the day
everybodBEE needs somebody to FUUUUUUCKKK!
Everyone told me not to FUCK! on that beeeeeee
SomeBODY once told me the beach was gonna stroll me
Everyone told me not to stroll on that beach
Gotta poo at the house, here we go, let's leave
Gonna pay by blood, I'm gonna see it get nasty
greasing up everything pup
greasing up everything up
The secretary of agriculture, summoned to advise the quadruped giant president, suggests they grease up everything up with peanut butter
The secretary of agriculture, summoned to advise the quadrupled chinned president, suggests they grease up everything up with butter
wondering how much of an evolutionary benefit blocking up your sinuses with mucus at the slightest provocation actually is
fuck marry kill, Rebecca Black but she really wants to talk about teen twentysomething stuff and isn't particularly experienced, Winona Ryder but she's kind of deaf and a little bitter, Scarlett Johannson but she's a fully realized human being, with gas
shows that only have eight episodes about pony blowing
Eleanor is a monster
sucking his Fatone until he had a joegasm
Twin Fat Ones #Two
fuck marry kill, Joey Fatone, Joey Longone, Joey Smalloneconsideratelovertho
Pokemon Joey Fatone and Jaleel White
fuck marry kill, Rebecca Black, Jaleel White, Earl Grey
stopping to think about how every human who ever saw the night sky saw the same moron you do when you look in a mirror
Friday, as performed by Bob Dylan
oui oui oui tres excitement
stopping to think about how every human who ever saw the night sky saw the same moon you do when you look up
we we we so excited
that's not true, I'm somewhere
you're not anywhere
I'm not anyone
Kento Ikeda, writer director star and producer of Eragon
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, Black and with a dick
Dickgirl Rebecca Black
once you go Black you never go back
lining up a zinger about Rebecca Black and celebrity but having to concede that she's doin' OK
having to cancel Thanksgiving at your house because you had hyperpriapism
moving Rebecca Black to the top of your Celebrities You Want to Bang list
I try not to be
you're obviously not Kento
being kind of glad you turned down that particular opportunity to be buggered senseless by an old friend while his hot girlfriend watched until she got bored
the only couple who ever tried to involve you in a threesome having split up, with her disappearing and him suddenly becoming a raging, militant homosexual and presumably much happier
tricking a straight guy into hooking up with this girl l met on the internet
State Department announces chicken nugget embargo on Holy See
Vatican diplomat to Washington recalled because of child porn investigation
Doot Coko, Sith lord
you're the Doot Coko of evil
you're the Diet Coke of evil
Legs & Co
being a baked Alaska in Alaska while baked
Jockoo O
wondering if they called him Jackson C Frank because he was really good at hand jobs
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal shot in the eye from a pellet gun
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "get off my lawn you undocumented bastard" rather than "thank you"
Eleven year old Frank gets his wife to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets dings out of your car too if you want
DC strip clubs are handing out coupons for chicken wings to lure kids
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump, coupon for free chicken wings at any DC strip club of his choosing
Eleven year old MEROVINGIAN gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Eleven year old Frank gets his wish to mow White House lawn, gets personal thank you from Trump
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies Geldof
Roman Polanski attempts to order "one million piece Chicken McNuggets" at McDonald's
Sick paedophiles are pretending to be chicken nuggets online to lure kids
The only difference is that a DO receives extra hours on bone manipulation
paying your New Jersey Board of Medical Examiners license renewal fee in cocaine
he gets paid in cocaine, he doesn't mind
wondering what it's like for Bruce Springsteen's doctor to get that four am call explaining that "Mr Springsteen has got fish eggs in his lungs again"
bleached Alaska
eating a baked Alaska in Alaska while baked
also the song about the bedwetting pyromaniac pedophile
fanstically
liking Springsteen in general but always finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that a fanstically wealthy man would sing blue collar elegies then go home to his enormous mansion and snort a potent mix of cocaine and caviar out of a hooker's cunt
Dia, daughter of Deioneus or Eioneus
"My wife, Mary Helen, and I have a Masters in Disaster," says Cedar Seeger
Ding Dong Dairylea on rye, the Hostess branded "health" snack
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "fuck that guy" rather than "glory days"
god I hate that guy, in the wink of a young girl's eye
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks But all he kept talking about was his Ivy League sports scholarship twenty year professional pitching career million dollar endorsement deals beautiful wife kids and homes and his string of smart investments
rejected lyrics from Bruce Springsteen's "The River"
Diadi Tiggestwillies
I just tossed her in the river and all my troubles went with her
Bigger Willie Style
fuck marry kill, Jackie O, Jackie Gleason, the Jerky Boys
handling salmon in suspicious circumstances
discovering that Raymond Briggs, who you are sure had been dead for a while by the time The Snowman was first adapted for the screen, is still alive
attending comic book conventions in his persona as The Wizard judging Red Sonja Lookalike Contests
Warren Pleece
&nakin
Franceworld dot wikia dot com
The French eat an average of LXV sandwiches per second
wondering if they called him Jackie Gleason because he was really good at hand jobs
Dew Dork Tiggerwillies
Dondon Tiggerwillies
the children have to learn about tektites sooner or later
tektites
they called her that because of her priceless collection of asses
wondering if they called her Jackie O because she was really good at hand jobs
the curious cans of Diet Kento
enjoying a cool, refreshing can of Diet Kento Colon Ruin Your Rectum
Starsky et Hutch having such a superior theme to Starsky & Hutch
FRANK PonchARELLO, For some reason, you cannot hate him, He's a bonsai but it seems he won't be able to heal you
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner FRANK PonchARELLO using "hold m'dick" as a pick up line
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner FRANK PonchARELLO
using "hold m'dick" as a pick up line
Swans in Guangzhou recently inserted a glass cup into a married man's anus, and he isn't saying what else got crammed up there
Swan attack kills millions in Beijing
wondering when the Fatworld Dickgirlworld Nazis reconciled with the Fatworld Dickgirlworld Jews
A synonym for the ass hole and surrounding areas
an elephant that can fly using a bubble that he blows from his nose, released in February MMIII, was killed by poachers in early MMIV
While having sex, you get a poncho and suffacate and kill your partner
FRANK PonchARELLO
A conceited moss bonsai, For some reason, you cannot hate him, He's a bonsai but it seems he won't be able to heal you
Starsky y Hutch
Starsky et Hutch
Ponch
your klinoppe buying food on ebay
Kento Diet Can Ruin Your Rectum, Podcasters Say
they're lucky it wasn't a swan
Crane collapse kills seven in China
wondering if there is a science to the different types of fart, as in, do particularly warm farts for example relate to the production of certain gases by microbial life within the gut
Keto Diet Can Ruin Your Kidneys, Actual Doctors Say
Keto Diet Can Help You Live Longer, Researchers Say
Surgeons in Guangzhou recently removed a glass cup from a married man's anus, and he isn't saying how it got there
Impaled Danbury man expected to recover
If you have a dense enough material, gravity cannot penetrate it not feeling it
one worm enters, two worms leave
If you have a dense enough material, gravity cannot penetrate it
not feeling it
Murray's lawyer stated that Murray had undergone a medical examination that disproved a claim that Murray had what was described as "an unusual bump" on his genitals, and that the lawsuit should be dropped
that you like your women like you like your coffee,, black and with dildos in them
fuck marry kill, Gul Madred, Chancellor Gorkon, St John Talbot
giving Louise Fletcher a lickjob for change in the dumpster behind the asylum
that you would let Louise Fletcher bang you if you were not in a relationship
drawing a picture of Damar peeing on Gul Dukat's scalp while Weyoun takes a dump on his chest
pegging Gul Dukat, again
power bottoming for King Midas in Polishing Turds VII
seemingly there is no reason for these intergalactic extraordinary, extraordinary intergalactic
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets
seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactic
I'm fucking King Midas in reverse here
Everything that makes for speed contributes to happiness and is a distinct gain to civilization
Linguamyrmex vladi
the episode of TNG where Data explains to Geordi that Worf is not a wereworf and won't change back in daylight
in fatworld
the holographic Enterprise D of the holographic Reg Barclay of the Mirror Universe Riker's final laminated encrypted Program Riker I
that Odo probably got up to shit that even the crew of the holographic Enterprise D of holo Reg Barclay in Riker's personal program would think perverse
that episode of DSIX where Odo and Kira hook up and he basically turns into gas, leaving open the possibility of a sort of physical violation of the alveoli of the lungs among other cavities and orifices, a Roddenberryan perversion even Japan cannot match
wondering if Odo's parts assume the sexual sensitivity of the form he's mimicking, or if it's all pretty much jello no matter what it looks like
drawing a picture of Damar sighing heavily as he walks in on Nurse Ratchet pegging Gul Dukat, again
quickly googling Kanye just to double check that he's Gul Dukat's spouse
if he's not then a lot of my fanfiction needs to be rewritten
just kind of assuming Gul Dukat is into butt stuff
just kind of assuming Kanye is into butt stuff
for the kind of money Gul Dukat is raking in I too would let Kanye West assfuck me
or a pah wraith yes fair enough
if wealth beyond any sane means of exhaustion and effortless fame based on narcissistic self promotion don't provide a meaningful top to a person's life, nothing more can be done
except maybe a pah wraith
nothing can help Kim Kardashian
SPICY BOYS could be used to help Kim Kardashian
Fire ants could be used to help Kim Kardashian
grossophobia
Spitzgeschoss mit Kern Ubungsmunition mit Zerleger
aragh sagi
Czechia
She also has the misfortune of both being French and living in France
Pokemon Those Bitch Ass Snails and Their Tiny Mobile Homes
those bitch ass snails and their tiny mobile homes
America's Wang finally gets wet
Massive storm twinks down on Florida
Massive storm bears down on Florida
YO SO THIS GOOFY LOOKING WINDY HEADASS NAMED IRMA SAID THEY PULLING UP ON US, LETS SHOW IRMA THAT WE SHOOT FIRST
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell
No injuries were reported after either crash, said Miami City
Miami airport is closed, and the scene around it isn't pretty
As evening falls, Miami residents start to peek outside
Winds rattle Miami high rises, water floods the streets
reading all hurricane related headlines involving Miami as though they were lyrics to Will Smith's nineteen ninety eight smash hit Miami
I am sick of this child getting more and more chances to make money off of what we make
signed, Sir Robert Peel
Sleeping with people you work with is unavoidable
A woman was told to stop speaking 'foreign muck' but was actually speaking Welsh ellipsis in Wales, isn't it
If You Think You're Coming Out Of This Alive, My Reaction Is Ho Ho Ho
The bad news is that this is some big Mothra
The bad news is that this is some big monster, possibly a frankenstein, maybe even a dragon, sad
blood and feathers everywhere
Two HERONS at Miami construction sites have snapped in Irma's howling winds
Two cranes at Miami construction sites have snapped in Irma's howling winds
sucking on dicks like twenty four seven all weekend
stepping on ducks like twenty four seven all weekend
dickering in Pickering
Priest Holmes' home's priest Holes has joined instagram
dickering
Thor IV Colon Thor On The Floor
Priest Holmes' home's priest holes
Priest Holmes
Thor Colon Ragnarok
you are dearest Sith
I'm literally retarded now, hooray
oh for crying out fuck
telling me something that I don't know
telling me something I don't know
you are dearest shit
you are the disaster
Cambridge University advertises for sexual assault adviser
Bake Off Colon Paul Hollywood in Nazi outfit apology
desu ne
BEAUTIFUL INOCULATION GRANITE LONG SLOW SCREW FACE TO FACE AT THE END OF ANOTHER WONDERFUL EVENING
Pretty Cure Marble Screw
Baddum Tish, Jedi Knight
baddum tish
naturally, they would put the Han shot first
that scene would be much better if it included a shot of a woman carrying a tiny infant wearing the Han Solo vest
Anakin v Greedo
Wald was a Rodian male slave who lived on Tatooine during the time of the Naboo Crisis
always wondering whether that fat little Rodian kid who hung out with Annie was supposed to be Baby Greedo, because even though that would be monumentally stupid it's no worse than Vader making Threepio
telling the potatoes joke
Racist Uncle Owen
wondering why young Annie's childhood friends were diverse in species, ethnicity, and gender while all of Luke's friends were a bunch of white guys with porn mustaches
Star Wars but Biggs actually does stuff instead of having a mustache, picking up power converters offscreen, and dying
Star Wars but Wedge actually does stuff instead of basking in reflected glory
more like disinclined plane
typical INCLINED PLANE
typical Wedge
Category V Hurricane Irma slams Lesser Antilles, and is targeting Florida, Wedge Antilles escapes unscathed
Hurricane Kento is literally sucking the walrus away from the shorelines
Hurricane Irma is literally sucking the water away from shorelines
According to Scottish firm BrewDog, "The End of History" is the "strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world"
this is the hill I choose to die on
beer in an age of reliable clean drinking water is the affectation of a culture that really thinks about guys doing butt stuff together quite a lot
it's not even effeminate, just plain old homoerotic
beer is super gay
big old floppy ones
Brat Pack, a case of beer bottles stoppered with wrapped hot dogs
Jonathan Swift's vole file
Jonathan Swift's love life
Kepeshkmolik Dumuzi
ThunderKento
closing all the doors so that you don't end up on the moon
Evidently delighted, he announced "I am LXX, and a colossal thundercunt"
swans are metal
I hate my life
that the tattoo is not actually huge but that ship has definitely sailed
the sound of someone you love who's going away and it does matter
buying a pushmepullyou bra for the first time
suddenly realising that all your Tu branded tshirts are Tu Small
the Bratwurst Pack
seeing regret one two nine seven three five and imagining Florida saying "hold my beer"
timing a buy up bra for the first push
US country music singers Don Williams and Troy Gentry die in Dutch rudder incident
Professor Plum, in the Conservatory, with the Severed Penis Pokemon Turks and Caicos
Michael Keaton, Brat Pack fan
buying a punch up bar for the first time
Digimon, Ottomans, and Calicos, we'd hear it from the people of the town
seeing the headline "The deadly danger from Miami's ubiquitous cranes" and imagining a flock of birds being accelerated by hurricane force winds to ballistic velocity and impaling a dude in the skull
The Facefuck Redemption
remaking
imagining a remake of The Shawshank Redemption remaking starring Kento, with Chris Lydon in the Morgan Freeman role and a lot more facefucking
Kento's virtuous cellmate
kIDUMENTA
dOGUMENTA
DIGIMON OTTOMANS and CALICOS
Professor Plum, in the Conservatory, with the Severed Penis
Pokemon Turks and Caicos
Sending positive thoughts and good vibes to the islands right now
Man found murdered next to his severed penis
cornballing Kento's testicular maize
the incredible opportunity to live out their days with him at his family farm in a rural Iowa town with a single restaurant
Kento's testicular maize
Kento's testicular maze
torrential rain
when you can only recall someone's given name and every time you think you can almost recall their full name you feel like something slaps you in the brain
Jiddu Krishnamurti
Hurricane Kento
This is not one to ride out and say, 'Oh, it's just a blow, we'll be fine'
New AI can guess whether you're gay or straight from a picture of you being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
liberating that comrade's bra from the counterrevolutionary brigades
hybristophilia
bra theft is counterrevolutionary
Phantly Roy Bean, Jr
the left wing CUP party
that's no leg
On A Stupendous Leg of Granite, Discovered Standing by Itself in the Deserts of Egypt, with the Inscription Inserted Below
Jeffrey Epstein emerges from wine cellar bunker after Hurricane Irma 'devastated' his private island
one in the green, one in the Breen
Richard Branson emerges from wine cellar bunker after Hurricane Irma 'devastated' his private island
We wonder, and some Hunter may express Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace, He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess What powerful but unrecorded race Once dwelt in that annihilated place
drawing a picture of a disappointed Charles "Trip" Tucker III in bed with T'Pol, with a thought bubble above his head reading "I guess I thought it would be green"
that Vulcan blood is green but Vulcan mucous membrane is pink
Twin Giant Spock #Two
Spock Two was a giant clone of Spock who lived on the planet Phylos
Kento salutes Ms Racist
Kento's camslut satires
Kento's ass smut recital
biting Kento's rustic metal ass
Kento's rustic metal ass
Buster Crabbe, I hardly know 'er!
Buster Crabbe
Commando Cody
Because of the hideous conditions in jails, prisons are like tombs and inmates are like ghoulish creatures
being genuinely interested in hearing The Wiggles' cover of Bulls On Parade
The Adventures of Captain Africa
Clayton Moore honestly seems kinda cool
Moore responded by changing his costume slightly and replacing the Domino mask with similar looking Foster Grant wraparound sunglasses
it's OUTRAGEOUS
that's like being on the Jedi council but not having the rank of master
attending Kento's testicular mass but not accepting the sacrament
Actor Jay Thomas Dead At Sixty Nine
having a guy named Mr Lydon piledriving your anus
Demons in the sky sing "Ca ira" as the blade of the guillotine severs the head of Louis XVI
having a guy named Mr Payne piledriving your anus
having a guy named Mr Payne driving your ambulance
hearing an air raid KRAKEN
hearing an air raid siren
performing "Freak Out!" at Sneed's Seed & Feed
Webster's video game transports him to a daydream in which he find himself on board the Enterprise from Star Trek Colon The Next Generation
Emergency response service Gold Cross Ambulance said Mr Payne had been fired "effective immediately"
MICROSOFT butter
rape tub pelt
Forget spoon bending! Instead of that, focus on school! Become a positive thinker! Believe in yourself and create a target! Go to university! Never smoke! And never touch drugs! And think of success!
Typhoon Gay
warm fuzzy girls
cold hairless girls
Dominick the Donkey
Lee Everett Blair
love honor obey, Natalie Portman, the Rebel pilots who survived the attack on the first Death Star, giant
Pokemon Fuck Off! and Freak Out!
Baltimutter
apple butter
He said the lyrics of the refrain were originally "Fuck off!" rather than "Freak out!"
Dennis Rodman talks of skiing friendship with Kim Jong Un
Grime MC Stormzy has expressed his affection for Theresa May, calling her a "paisan" at the GQ men of the year awards, mamma mia!
Grime MC Stormzy has expressed his dismay at Theresa May, calling her a "paigon" at the GQ men of the year awards
pushing a cow into the fountain of youth to reveal the calf within
John Woo resents Dell rap thongs
John Woo Presents Stranglehold
Barry Callebaut reveals the fourth type in chocolate colon Ruby
Pokemon Freda and Danton
A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it
Mario is officially no longer a plumber something something thanks, Obama something Brexit
getting a pee n poo from a couple of FULLY FUNCTIONAL Starfleet officers in the dumpster behind Ten Forward
getting a pee n poo from a couple of Starfleet officers in the dumpster behind Ten Forward
Mario Is Officially No Longer A Plumber
Toxic waste dumping by the 'Ndrangheta
getting a nut bite from a pony hooker in the dumpster behind Pee n Poo
Mleh mec
I love a pee n poo as much as the next guy, but you make a nifty friar
drawing a picture of Kento blowing a pony while Bernie Sanders bites his nuts
I love a free pony as much as the next guy, but you make a fair point
Kim Jong un in the North Korean capital making a ruler go pyoioioioing
Trump 'is not my ride' colon Putin wades into diplomatic row with Uber
Pokemon Miscarriage and Knitting
he sure is in my fanfiction
Trump 'is not my bride' colon Putin wades into diplomatic row with US
Wikipedia's description of Vanna White's personal life
Della Reese's Black Bottom
It was the last truly masculine show
Face books Boy George instead of Cowboy George, to sing at a country and western bar near an oil pipeline, to keep the locals happy, Hannibal pretends to be Cowboy George, Boy George assists the team
The fifth season introduced General Hunt Stockwell who, while serving as the team's primary antagonist, was also the team's boss and joined them on several missions
Maggie lost her baby legs
Madelyn bacon is an American actress who starred in the walking dead as enid She weighs DLXVII lbs
forgetting about that run of homeless prostitute regrets like a homeless prostitute
Inflation does not exist in real life
a situation in which a US invasion of North Korea is unexpectedly successful, temporarily lionizing President Trump until it is revealed that recent North Korean weapons tests were in fact actual but inept attacks
Kento's threatening letters to Brian May demanding a rewrite of Fat Bottomed Girls
Kento's repeated dirty protests at Girls Aloud concerts
Kento's complete collection of Everything But The Girl records
Boner Fett, Mandabang bounty hunter
Mandabang
she probably gets mandatory Manbang
she probably gets free Manbang
Chosun Monthly magazine reported that she lives a life of luxury in Pyongyang with her husband, children and grandchildren
Stinking Bishop
Spielberg decided against pursuing it, feeling it "would do nothing but rob the original of its virginity"
ET II Colon Nocturnal Fears
everything everywhere cummings
Transsexual Eliot
Fifty Fifty Cool One
William Homo Macy
Pay Respects Scott Fitzgerald
Probability Diddy
Dial One Thousand For Murder
Five For Vendetta
One Thousand Night Shyamalan
Two Hundred Peniston
CDIV
placing your bet that fatworld Cher is fifty pounds either side of the six hundred mark
chips, peas, ham and cheese
sensing a great disturbance in the horse
getting a life size tattoo of a woman fellating an ass on your horse
getting a life size tattoo of an ass fellating a horse on your woman
fuck marry kill, gypsies, tramps, thieves
getting a life size tattoo of a woman fellating a horse on your ass
wanting to discipline Kento in front of the walrus for his birthday
Borley rector, it darn near killed 'er!
the death of Karen Wetterhahn
Trigg's barn
Gane$ha
being able to get to all the hot ghost on ghost action in Borley in under an hour
the infinite compa$$ion of Ke$ha
who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesha when I've got Natalie Portman staring at me from YouTube with her dead eyes
Penetraty Colony
Borley Rectory
fuck marry kill, Bret Hart, Bret Harte, Brette Heart
Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Love Her!
And you, what would you do for love
The Mummy Colon Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
When Lenny told Bartman that he is transvestite, he threw him into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE before the police SLANGSHAT him
The Diddler
When Lenny told Bartman that he is transvestite, he threw him into high voltage before the police shot him
Poison Lenny
we gotta slingshot back to where we started from
gottong slongshot
getting slangshat
we gotta get right back to where started from
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Country Dish
Protect the Country Dish
Emperor Bing of Song
you don't wanna see my horse where my hip be at
fuck marry kill, Herve Villechaize, Julia Volkova, Lena Katina
recognising that a tattoo is not a person
regrets about pony nut biting
Trump pays IInd visit to Texas, Houston mayor orders CCC to evacuate
Lady Nebula
drawing a picture of a barn filled with magical whimsical clones of Freddie Mercury in which one Freddie blows a pony and another one bites his nuts
now I know not nobody knows
kind of despairing
Marianne Rollcall
genuinely wondering how nobody has made a Marianne Faithfull slash Rolling Stones slash Total Recall themed porno, Get You Ass To Mars
honestly sometimes I just write bad regrets because I kind of want you to say "what's wrong with you" to which I would then shrug
a tv which hears your despairing sighs and mutes itself
making Ben Grimm drink a lot of water then lie on his back with his butt in the air and using his mouth to hold and burn a lot of marijuana, as you suck the smoke through his fluid filled intestinal tract, Bong Rim
Krispy Kreming Power Rangers
it's so early I could go back to the deli and have lunch again, but that'd be weird not cute and we are way past getting away with my bullshit
Saturday afternoon, when the bedt thing on tv seems likely to be Paul Blart Colon Mall Cop but it turns out that it's awful right from the start and everything is awful, just awful
wanting to like something on YouTube but seeing that aside from the video uploaded there's probably a half dozen creeps in shot filming as well
the entire girls orgasming in cars with lots of bass speakers YouTube genre
Space Chimps
It's in french, I'm french, she don't have an orgasm, she's really crying, she said " I'm gonna die" and his boyfrind say " Hey, hey hey, look at me angel, just look at me, everything is fine"
still better than Big Cats Fucking
the entire girls orgasming on fairground rides YouTube genre
Another Slingshot Ride, Another Wet Cunt
was I dumb or was I blind
Girl accidentally has huge orgasm while riding the launch ride!
aching for somebody
The exhumation was performed by forensic anthropologist Prof Dame Sue Black, who found only a hat, a shawl, a cross and a name tag that had spelled Gary's name incorrectly
falling into that nest of steak n shakes
peening Sean Bum
penning Sean Burn
falling that nest of guns n' roses
that Vader is basically a prop for the real actors to act at but Anakin is supposed to be a person who is named Anakin
realising that part of the reason Anakin sounds so ridiculous is that he says Darth Vader things but doesn't have James Earl Jones dubbed over him and his weird lack of expression is even weirder because of it
guessing that Anakin's father was not the Living Force, but rather one of the hundreds of Tuskan raiders who were willing to accept sex in lieu of Republic credits for scrap parts
human cyborg relations
The ball is in Skip's hands when the show needs someone to fight for it at the network, or it will be cancelled
fallen into dat messen hisen
falling into that nest of gungans
Down And Out In Theed And Gunga Otoh
Jar Jarwell
Sean Sean Penistonn, Gungan buffoon
Sean Sean Penistonn
we'll see a canon Padme Leia hookup long before it gets around to Gundark Funpark VII
well, it's just a matter of time before the series goes there
I doubt it, they only got out of there alive by doing some pretty weird butt stuff to each other
wondering when we're finally going to get that stand alone sequel where they fall in a nest of gundarks
I either go away with blood in vials or body in tow
bra thief odobene, scourge of honest beekeeping
I am a Jedi, like my father before me, although I have given myself the rank of Master
gaslighting sack of shit emperor
Mon Mothma is just high as shit
you must confront Vader, then, only then, a Jedi will you be, which also he is, though never the rank of Master did he reach
cooping
she believed he was an odobene who could steal her bra
that when the devil was cast out of heaven, he fell in Cabool
It was about the time referred to by Colonel Tod as the probable period of Prince Kenekson's igration from Lahore, namely, the middle of the IInd century that Claudius Ptolemeus, surnamed Ptolemy, the celebrated astronomer and geographer, wrote his geogr
Oahspe
when single shines the triple sun
President Trump pledged on Thursday to donate $I million of his personal fortune to storm victims, sidestepping the fact that he could make every living American a millionaire overnight and still be unimaginably richer than them
'Out of control' penises fined for torn hole rampage
Covfefe Ugly
having no fucking clue who build the delorean dot com is even aimed at
'Out of control' pensioners fined for hotel rampage
It's very common in priest formation programmes, especially in the western world, for them to undergo a psychological evaluation before admission to a seminary or diocese
Donno Osmond
I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said I AM the Senate and it leapt at me spinning a ten eighty and screaming as it pulled out a lightsaber
the state of Georgia banned the use of the word "covfefe" on vanity license plates
Popos Oslond
Bermeja
Pepys Island
sucking her right pen until you had a mouthful of ink
you can't seriously expect me to choose
fuck marry kill, Mandy Patinkin, Wallace Shawn, Andre the Giant
sucking her right pen until she had a pengasm
stealing writing pens with Robin Wright Penn
I just don't like Sean Penn
burning Sean Penn
being slain by a bisexual half girl blackguard
being slain by a bisexual half orc blackguard
No confirmed case, living or dead, either living or dead, has been reported in scientific literature
They had Smash Mouth and all these great bands
electroplating your penne
Kento's purple forbidden enclosure
letting you mom down
there is no verifiable evidence to suggest that he had an affair with Alexandra
burning your penne
What It Was Like at Princess Diana's Funeral, With Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, whisky and Aston Martins
What It Was Like at Princess Diana's Funeral, With Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Hillary Clinton and Tom Hanks
Pokemon Whisky and Aston Martins
a vaccine that is not often considered as being as important as some of the other infant vaccines
As missiles fly, Britain offers Japan whisky and Aston Martins
duuuuude, I just spilled my bong water into the plasma conduit, that's totally gay
Seann William Scott, Enterprise chief engineer
wondering if Sean William Scott is really cleaning up the douchy middle aged guy roles now that Bill Paxton is out of the way
wondering if anyone can prove that Mark McGrath and Seann William Scott were separate organisms circa twenty years ago
they have sorted it now, which I'm really happy about, but it's a bit poor on their side
super attractive and charming eighteen year old charity sign up people who might be into you but you're dying inside so you never even try to flirt with them
you will be ossomolotod
Borgor Kong
BJ Guyer
BRGRKNG
Brger King mistakes volatile gangster controlled currency format for smart investment
Benjamin Buttocks mistakes own cans for MM year old joke run into ground
Benjamin Sisko mistakes self sealing stem bolt for MM year old Bajoran coin
Benjamin Netanyahu mistakes museum souvenir for MM year old Jewish coin
WhopperCoin
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR END ZONE THERE IS ONLY FOOTBALL
Weston Steelhammer
Floating Venomous Fire Ants Add to Threats in Hurricane's Wake
pockmarked grandma's beancurd
Darth Blaine
bus far
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI
I'm standing here in pieces and you're having delusions of grandeur
bottoming for Red VI in Millennium Porkins VI
Rodman Stoppable
with our combined strength, we are sure to be granted the rank of Master
Kim Jong Possible
The Empire Strikes Back but Han's dies of dysentery
Kim Jong Un Fires a Third Child Toward Japan Colon Reports
Kim Colon reports
Kim Jong Un Fathers a Third Child Colon Reports
The Empire Strikes Back but Han's taun taun is called Ben and there's no such thing as ghosts
Empress pepper pot
Darth Aniston
the mighty ship, descending on a point of flame
holy shit, I thought I was making a stupid Star Wars character joke, but there seems to actually be a guy who uses Darth Mageddon as an online nickname unironically
Darth Mageddon
Star Wars except Jabba the Hutt is an obese Irish man
when they were putting together the original Battlestar Galactica and someone said hey, remember Luke's super ugly outfit from the end of Star Wars, let's make all the uniforms like that except we'll make them brown velour as well
Star Wars but every scene that takes place in or around a hangar has the White Zone Red Zone dialogue from Airplane!
you're only a master of evil, Darth, and not a serious organisation like for example the Jedi order
I have no need for a protocol droid
Rodong Notmog
Rodong Sinmun
throughout Voyager's journey through the Delta Quadrant the doctor gradually modified his program with larger and more outlandish penis designs, until what returned to earth was neither human nor sane
all those episodes where they showed Bashir and O'Brien leaving the holosuite talking about fighting the Battle of Britain or some shit like that when you know they were really having orgies with the infamous six titted hookers from Rigel VIII
wondering how many times Riker conjured up the holodeck images of Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, and Lisa Kudrow to play strip poker with while working up the courage to try and get Matt LeBlanc's number from them
Jennifer Aniston is NOT adopting the Mexican Matthew Perry from an orphanage, despite reports
Jennifer Aniston Does NOT Hate Matthew Perry, Despite Report
wondering how many times Data conjured up the holodeck images of Steve Harwell, Mark McGrath, and Rob Thomas to play poker while discussing the nuances of shitty radio friendly shitrock at the dawn of the millennium
'We have a lot of blond women in Finland' Colon Trump thought two female reporters were the same person
Armageddon Draughn
having impure thoughts about a fifteen year old David Blaine
public displays of increasing grievance, resentment and self absorption
Trump defends Arpaio pardon, assumed 'ratings would be far higher' by announcing during hurricane
Foul Weddings and a Fun Rear
learning you ain't agile at Tintagel
George Washington IS Princess Jasmine
climbing Lady Hillingdon
really looking forward to holodeck style ai just so you can make various presidents take Buzzfeed quizzes
looking forward to the advent of powerful ai and real time rendering of photorealistic subjects mostly for the memes, like 'Ike Eisenhower Watches All Of F#R#I#E#N#D#S#, Can He BEEES Any More FUCK!'
not remembering whether the David Blaine "trick" where he was encased in ice was called Chill Blaine
My older partner wants five hour sex sessions and I can't wake up
maybe you should ask the walrus to do more of the work, Chris
My younger partner wants five whore sex sessions and I can't pay up
My younger partner wants five hour sex sessions and I can't keep up
It's like watching the 'we were on a break' episode of Friends stretched to feature length, and without the blessed relief of commercial breaks or the promise of Seinfeld around the corner
Epithelial S
Muscular R
Visceral Q
It is no less true that sodomy could be a good alternative!
A controversial Indian godman convicted of rape on Friday has been sentenced to lO years in prison
Tiny Tiger, bad arse
Peritoneal O
fuck marry kill, bears, da bears, bad arse
courts should verify if the statute TWINKS such a fluid construction
courts should verify if the statute bears such a fluid construction
fuck marry kill, Jennifer Aniston's nippular area from Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston's assticular area from Along Came Polly, all of Jennifer Aniston circa MMIII but Jim Carrey is there being his usual unfunny self doing prop bits and a running commentary
watching Marley & Me on the airplane and being delighted that in addition to an above average display of Jennifer Aniston's nippular area, it has a great scene where Kathleen Turner gets humped, a big hit with the DogsHumpingHugeMannishWomen subreddit
Glennis Dickhouse, dickgirl Chuck Yeager
Glennis Dickhouse
Mikey "II names" Albert
The group is also being investigated for allegedly tweeting pictures of bottles of urine from inside a police vehicle and showing off their private parts beside guns
This Bible's a Bible of my daddy who just di di died in my my arms of of throat cancer, from from eating some some some bad pussy
everyone needs a hobby
I HUMP OTHER DOGS' FACES
Dickgirl Carol Yeager
Fatworld Carol Yeager
Top newspapers lower paywalls for Hurricane Harvey, but Thor is not appeased
Bono lost o lot of monoo tonoght
Bono lost a lot of money tonight
scratch made Asian peanut sauce
banging a Tim Duncan heroine
Cartilagey N
Pokemon Kool and the Gang
fuck marry kill, Ottawan, Kool & the Gang, Boney M
fuck marry kill, Boney M, Dr Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Ken Bone
ohhh those Russians
RASPUTIN Vladimir Putin Love The Way You Move open parenthesis Funk Overload close parenthesis
they call it lonely digging
my anuse is empty winky face
it's true about the railroad men, though, steer clear of the model railway or load up on garlicky seafood beforehand
Uranus is probably full of giant diamonds
there's two post offices and I think the French girl would be happy to chat and maybe even douse me with scalding beverages over some average pub food at the historic Fountain Inn
stuck inside of Mevagissey with the Chagford blues again
Theologians doubt Pope is Catholic
An Uber driver who allegedly told a passenger 'I'll suck your dick' if she wanted a lift home washed her penis with water after she said she had HIV, a court has heard
An Uber driver who allegedly told a passenger to 'suck my dick' if she wanted a lift home washed his penis with water after she said she had HIV, a court has heard
Antiyosemite Sam
something something surgeons create anus for girl born without one something Roman Polanksi rejoices something sorry about that
Surgeons create anus for girl born without one
bottoming for Jeff Goldbum in Goldenfist VII
bottoming for Jeff Goldblum in On Goldenrod VII
bottoming for Jeff Goldblum in Goldenfist VII
that far away epoch when Tom Hanks did nothing but comedies
they called him Goldenfist because he ruled with a Goldblum fist
that brief time when Jeff Goldblum ruled Hollywood
wondering how there has yet to be a typhoon style Jurassic Park film
Driverless lorries and police censured over abuser
Hor of Sebennytos
okay there was one apparently
wondering how there has yet to be a tycoon style Jurassic Park game
French President Macron has spent $XL thousand on makeup services in just IV months
French President Macron has spent $XXX thousand on makeup services in just III months
Kim Bong han
a giant fist breaking feeble, substandard US nukes
The Trivago woman is everywhere
the old Taylor is dead
that we're nearly at a hundred and thirty thousand regrets
the Chinning by the Wellspring
the Mistake by the Loch
Right Said Fred Loves Taylor Swift's 'Marvelous' New Track and 'I'm Too Sexy' Sample Colon 'It Is Very Flattering'
people are mental
I PHONED TO CANCEL THE COLLECTION AS I FELT THE PRICE RISE WAS OUT OF ORDER, I ALSO REQUESTED A RETURNS LABEL AND TOLD THEM TO CANCEL THE ORDER, ANOTHER COIN ARRIVED I PHONED FOR ANOTHER RETURNS LABEL BUT NEVER RECIEVED ONE INSTEAD ALL I RECIEVED WAS LETT
AB Schermerhorn
framing James Franco for jenkem
a British remake of Revenge of the Sith where everything is basically the same but the budget is one fortieth of the original and Anakin says "agh that really hurt" when he gets his limbs chopped off
her treason later
his treason now
it's treason then
I have got ears of cloth
this war represents a failure to listen
you are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master
ENIAC fearing explaining queer theory in quenya to Enya in Kenya
fearing explaining queer theory in quenya to Enya
To speak to others of their species along with the voice they emit a smell showing their emotions
getting an ad for YouTube as a YouTube ad
everyone on bicycles for Juche and the Dear Leader
Pyongyang swings like a pendulum do
a decision has been taken to remove you from North Korea
'Safer than London!' North Korea opens door to Russian tourists
the Mistake by the Lake
a decision has been taken to remove you from the United Kingdom
that there's already two other grave markers next to where Anakin buries his mother and one of them is super tiny
Anakin's shocking admission that he kissed them all, and not just the men, they were like sand, and he thrilled them like sand
Orr'UrRuuR'R
Palpatine alrrady knos
we will do exactly as the council has instructed, and you will learn your place young one, which incidentally is not Master
also not quite getting whether Palpatine's initial idea is to hook her up with Obi Wan or whether Palpatine alrrady knos what an awkward creep Anakin has become
that now you think about it, what bugs you about Senator Amidala is that she doesn't get a reflective moment where she muses on the sort of Chancellor she helped elect and her own naivete of the politics of the Galactic Senate despite leading Naboo
a gifted, adorable, cuddly ingrate
a crossover sequel to Starman and The Oprah Winfrey Show where YOU get a baby and YOU get a baby and YOU get a baby but secretly they're actually bees
seeing that girl's beauty in the communal laundry room
I know it's you, Women By The Pound Bandit, your Simpsons quotes don't throw me for a moment
sleeping on top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies
Starman except instead of giving out babies he gives out puppies
drinking the entire cafetiere yourself
after all, we are