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the nauseating misogyny of Piers Anthony?
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a dog
dog a
ok computer
having to pour boiling water over your genitals and a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
getting a snowy blowy from an Eskimo hooker in the dumpster behind Muktuk n Shake
the bends
getting a snowy blowy
getting all icy, why I'll
if his daddy's rich, take him out for a meal, if his daddy's poor, Eiffel Tower him with a walrus
getting a chilly willy
if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, it's about ethics in gaming journalism
the dice was loaded from the start
when the weather is fine, you've got men, you've got men on your mind
stretching right up and touching this guy
Area Doctor Found Guilty of Criminal Malpractice Over Bitch's Untreated Coconut Water Induced Hyperkalaemia
you must feed the pork to the kid to proceed
Area Doctor Found Guilty of Criminal Malpractice Over Girl's Untreated Coconut Water Induced Hyperkalaemia
you must feed the pork to the dog to proceed
Carrying pork over the Nuuanu Pali
putting the coconut in the lime for a change
the right to sabra berets
the right to ass bra beret
the right to arrest babes
the right to bare breasts
the hated British are already infiltrating our National Guard with bikini models
stockpiling busty dames to corner the market
strategic reserves of busty dames
imagining a series of silos out in the middle of Montana somewhere designed to house and protect America's strategic reserves of busty dames
wondering how far Kento's plot to kill Mary McGrath, make a suit out of her skin, and take her place on Radio Open Source came along
there's a lot more old than ish
Chris Lydon's online dating profile
Tired, Oldish
Hitler's Dido
Their DD Silo
Their Dildos
too soon, swan
I am a hat, you are a shoe
eight eight eight eight eight
too soon, man
French Guys Who Look Like Janice Dickinson Home Alone With Their Dildos
Horny Moms Home Alone With Their Dildos
more fish for Kunta
I did not have dicks with that woman
haha Clinton dicks
HaHa Clinton Dix
never mind the b%qs
Leger Douzable
b%q
booq
qood
bood
SOS
doop
i l i l i l i l i l i
o%l%o
nunununununununununununu
Mi!W
!i!i!
'''''
'%,
&!&
%%
!#!
#$#
$#$
evening dancing with no regard for others
',,'
''"
'"'
"''
""
''''
'''
"'
'"
''
"
,'
',
drawing a picture of Kento being monster mashed by a Frankenstein and a Dracula
when you poo in the shower and then mash it down the drain with your toes
When a collection of monsters have a party and spend the evening dancing with no regard for others
A bowel movement of such density or ferocity that it feels to the taker as if he she were passing a tombstone
,
hello says the kid
hello says the dog
beis
lending your beeswax to a dishonest beekeeper
hede full of beis
Thumper
it was a graveyard smash
listening to 'Swan My Swan' on YouTube and then the suggestion of 'Swan in Motion' for a few seconds, and eight hours later having 'St Eiffel's Tower' play in your head, because it's some kind of sickness with you
minding your own beeswax
sour cream and onion
listening to 'On My Own' on YouTube and then the suggestion of 'Man in Motion' for a few seconds, and eight hours later having 'St Eiffel's Tower' play in your head, because it's some kind of sickness with you
'
apostrophes, even
random apostraphes
Myke Hurle
Stand By Meme
internet Me Mes'
My Me
Me Me
having both Stand By Me and My Girl mentally filed under "odd semen sours vagina's blood"
Stand By My Girl
having both Stand By Me and My Girl mentally filed under "bad odorless dong anus movies"
having both Stand By Me and My Girl mentally filed under "movies based around old songs"
The Octopus Underground changes lyrics of Velvet Underground songs to celebrate octopuses
not getting the Stand By Me thing and actually googling it to see if like John Hughes or Chris Columbus was involved with it or something
Octomom The Pagemaster
confusing Stand By Me with My Girl
Octomom Home Alone Two Colon Lost in New York
monkey wrenches
Otto Swanstrom
Octomom Stand By Me
French key parties
Octomom Home Alone
French keys
Now we're up to talking divorce And we weren't even married
On My Own, Patti La Belle and Michael McDonald
retroj dot am
The report described his liking for Dance Dance Revolution, which he played frequently for hours with an acquaintance at a theater which had a commercial version of the game, and also played the game at home
He was also worried about whether he was being monitored by the CIA during his years of activism on behalf of Indian causes
your friend or banging your sister's friend mom
banging your friend or your sister's mom
banging your mom or your sister's friend
MATT DAMON
your friend's banging mom or sister
I wish I knew how to quit you
the beard, the
DIE BART, DIE
banging your friend's mom or sister
swinging
feeling lithy from iffium
Ludacris Wins Full Custody of Thirteen Month Old Daugther
Myriad Profiteroles
not staying with your cat when the vet put him to sleep reading the prologue
getting annoyed at people you don't even know
all that cheese
that there are no tiny elephants to keep as pets
not staying with your cat when the vet put him to sleep
reading the prologue
all that indecision
trying that new soap that made your skin break out
doing all those drugs
not showering for a week
having a mental illness
your caffeine addiction
you have no idea how alone you are, Garfield
cutting off Nantucket
Powerful Snowstorm Buries New England, Cutting Off Nantucket
knish, yum
you can be either a fairy or a queen, it's wide open
this isn't going to stop until pictionary bans the word "windmill"
shiny Muk
MOINK balls
fudging Kento
deep fat frying fudge
rain on your wedding day
fudgeflooding
flooding the index with fudge and completely skipping over eight eight eight eight eight
a tempest in a teapot
rubbing fudge out in the bathroom at church
the fudge joke just sweetens the pill, get it, fudge, it's sweet, except diabetic fudge, you guess, although you've never tried it
best
not being sure if you want to leave but thinking it's probably for the fudge
picking fudge purely because it's a stupid sounding word
after all that not even having any fudge
not being a taking a break from internet sites kind of person, more of a so long and thanks for all the good times person, only without the so long, because who even wants to read a valedictory lesson from some online twat
plus you're kind of repeating yourself on song lyrics a lot lately, it's a good job you don't know that trick
not being sure you can do this any more, partly because of the fudge, and partly because of the negative associations it has for you, and also the fudge
I am fudge
fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge
fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge
fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge
fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge
fudge fudge fudge fudge
fudge fudge
fudge
probably not the worst thing and you'd totally understand if they had their reasons and hey, you know what, maybe you walked in on them and not the other way around, but you had no idea if that were the where is this even going now
because if they were here that would be possibly the cruellest thing you could conceive of anybody doing to you in recent memory
killing time to make a time travel joke nobody will get because first of all, it isn't funny and second of all the only person who possibly could is not here and never was
I am sorry
this is not some kind of fudgedown
it isn't really about fudge
your inner fudge
releasing the fudge
jesuit's fudge
#jesuisfudge
fudging yourself
wondering if Pooh ever gets really mad and has to scream fudge everything because oh bother just doesn't cut it
white fudge on a dark background
fodg
deep frying boring healthy fudge
paying for a whole seat but only eating the fudge
flushing that gallon of fudge down the toilet
accepting fudge from strangers
needing a fudge infusion, stat
fudge ads
leaving the remains of that totally awesome fudge you bought earlier in your car in the summer
only remembering hours later that you should have asked how HER fudge was
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in fudge
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by fudge
all work and no play makes Jack fudge
misplacing your fudge and not being sure where you left it, though it was probably on the bus
falling into a fudge pit
being given the cold fudge
blah blah blah fudge fudge blah blah
Fudgey Shades of Grey
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third fudge
eating fudge off of your own boobs
deep throating fudge
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your fudge
playing Dungeons & Dragons with fudge
staring at Bicoid Babe's fudge seriously
having a lesbian crush on fudge
The Curious Fudge of Benjamin Buttocks
sucking on her fudge one until she had a fudgegasm
saying fudge when you should have said yes
spooning Jewel's fudge
buying multiple copies of the book "Fudge" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
Twin Fudge Rods #Two
holding your fudge when you run down the stairs
memorising every Star Trek fudge
fudge style
not hooking up with fudge
hey guys, remember fudge
fudgecode
lolfudge
that ryan had to seek advice on fudge for his Xwindows problems
rubbing one out in the fudge at church
FULLY FUNCTIONAL fudge
not being fudge
sprinking fudge on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
slamming your fudge in the car door
Ryan Fudge
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan fudge
not eating out fudge
swan fudge
fudgebuster
having impure thoughts about a fudge Winona Rider
using the word "fudgetastic"
shoe fudge
that the killer what took me is fudge
having no way of knowing whether a new fudge, a sweet but nutty confection, is finished or unopened as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want any fudge, he meant it
meeting Brian Fudge
forgetting how to brake on a fudgey bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car
shooting Jackson C Fudge in the eye with a fudge pellet when you were a kid
fudgeposting
time is a fudgesicle
guessing you must be dumb because she had a pocket full of horses
returning from the wilderness only to find society transformed into a post fudge utopia
envying the fudgelanders
living on the fudgeless fringes of society as an outcast
losing all the rights and privileges of fudge
being declared unfudge
a black man looking in a black room for a blind cat that isn't there, and finding it
Dover Police DashCam Confessional
Science Has Fucking Amazing News for People Who Curse
a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it
Poprageous' Cumberbitch collection
time is a BUXOM circle
all particles must be bound to a finite volume
time is a flat circle
poor little fulled vagina
poor little vanilla fudge
penis bum ass tong tong fluid mechanics
penis bum ass tong tong fluid
unpacking the hugest fudge
milk, milk, lemonade, in the dumpster fudge is made
Unleashing the Dragon in the dumpster behind the Fudgery in Baltimore's Inner Harbor with three other young men
that there is no 'I'll give it a kento' option
being told that you sound like a burglar from Poland
being told that you sound like Puar from Dragon Ball
the tong song
that there is no 'I'll give it a go' option
her muck yen
my cheek urn
that there is no 'haven't done it lately, might have changed my mind since last time' option
boning mate's puss
busting one spasm
Ensign Bat Possum
penis bum ass tong
Myke Runche
passing bum notes
it's not clear at all, I apologise
Mr Crunch
it's crystal bloody clear
I don't know what you mean
playing Grocers and Lisps with Matt Damon, if you know what I mean
playing Grocers and Lisps with Matt Damon
Riker replies back with "meow"
Riker says to one of them, "How long have you two been together" and he replies "MATT DAMON"
Crisps and Oglers
chain voted 'dex
hidden taco vex
Growtherth and Lithpth
Grocers and Lisps
Girls and Corpses
Candide Thovex
Two Yuffs Two Many
Riker says to one of them, "How long have you two been together"
Photographs of rockstars with their parents
thinking it may be time to uninstall Shazam
TEN MILLION SHAZAMS CAN'T BE WRONG
something of a crazy uncle who hung around the house for no apparent reason
gold mansacks
the death of Ernie Banks
gold painting the scrotums of Goldman Sachs employees
the death of Gabriel Marcia Marquez
bang tidy head, isn't it
bang head
white fuming nitric acid power
drawing a picture of the explosives being Eiffel Towered by the addition of thirty percent acetone
meandering around Tate St Ives thinking about the explosives' arse for no particular reason
Ben ran his rough palm up Matt's back as they lay together, ruefully trying to find a way to express the problem "I wish I knew how to quit you" he uttered "MATT DAMON" his lover replied
finding it difficult to believe that they haven't at least preened each other in the shower
doubting either of them has even close to the length necessary for braiding
seriously wondering whether Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have ever actually had sex, or at least jack each other off or something
degrading the explosives
the bomber had not changed his underwear for two weeks, thus degrading the explosives
at The Fudgery in Baltimore's Inner Harbor with three other young men
Mark Althavean Andrews
the track is named after the Green Onion's cat, Green Badger, whose way of walking inspired the riff
the track is named after the Green Cat's badger, Green Onions, whose way of walking inspired the riff
needs an $
Quadrality would be a good name for a herpes medication
getting guano$ine from Ke$ha
thinking Quadrality would be a really great title for something but not having anything to title Quadrality
getting herpe$ from Ke$ha
TRIALITY
duality
finding out that Fifty Shades of Gay is about a guy whose name is Kento and feeling somehow disappointed
flushing one down in the bathroom at church
finding out that Fifty Shades of Grey is about a guy whose name is Grey and feeling somehow disappointed
that the killer what took me is sinusitis
taking a really huge dump and having that moment of panic when you flush and the water just keeps rising
going to the first night of Cat$
that must have been the most badass cat that ever lived
because she's a wretched, diseased slutbag
thinking that if we ever get around to developing a drug to cure herpes, there will be nothing better than the songs of Ke$ha to sing its praises
wondering what classic tracks of the modern era will appear in drug commercials aimed at ageing populations half a century from now
The track also appears in commercials for the drug Viagra
the track is named after the Green Badger's cat, Green Onions, whose way of walking inspired the riff
acoustic meatusitis
anusitis
a "shit which will have to be flushed"
wondering how often the words "holding your hand while you cry is extra" are said by hookers at Comicon
sinusitis
wondering how often the words "pissing firm acid, eh" are said by hookers at Comicon
wondering how often the words "the crybaby faggot outline, eh" are said by hookers at Comicon
knocking hotly toying fag barbecue without having tried hotly toying fag barbecue
wondering how often the words "the hotly toying fag barbecue" are said by hookers at Comicon
wondering how often the words "friendship is magic" are said by hookers at Comicon
wondering how often the words "into the garbage chute, flyboy" are said by hookers at Comicon
flyboy
ordering that gallon of rotten Asian sex shrimp down the garbage chute
flushing that gallon of rotten Asian sex shrimp down the toilet
Asian sex shrimp
shrimp sex slaves
Asian shrimp slaves
Asian sex slaves
staying at the Whitemare Pool Travelodge hotel, on Wednesday
I once got a Rolls and I awakened a mink
I once got a rake and I killed a snowman
realising they would simply be depressingly true statements
Kim Jong un and Kento running together in the heat
Shakespeare
I would totally have written it "attack'd" because I am Shakespeare
the CIA false flag attacking an online CIA numbers station
you mean "you are gonna get us false flag attack'd by the CIA" #SonyTruth #falseflag
you are gonna get us Sony'd
Kim Jong un is in there too
Kento being so fat you mistook him for an entire harem
wondering why Chris Lydon needs to raise money on kickstarter even though he has the money to maintain a harem of fat gay Asian sex slaves
having a dreamily vivid bazaar
wondering if Kento could make money selling his BODY
having a vividly bizarre dream
wondering if Kento could make money selling his BO
Drunk Monster Truck Fan Explains Love of Sport
trusting gnomes, Juan
waking up extra cynical, apparently
if I could touch your body
guessing it would be nice
teaburring Raymond Bagg
trying to make a couple of jokes about the X Factor before realising they would simply be depressingly true statements
drawing a picture of Simon Cowell tyranically ordering teenagers to sing even though they are already singing, then being sued for copyright infringement
the four horseswans of the apocalypse, Swan, Swan, Swan and Swan
the four horsemen of the apocalypse, Sleepy, Blinky, Dasher and Stabby
having a bizarrely vivid dream
body odor dollars
BO$$
when she isn't singing, all she does is sing
She's known as the adorable and the funny one in the group, in sharp contrast to the other boring skanks in the group
She is known to often have a large bow in her hair
She also loves to make a lot of jokes!
She's known as the adorable and the funny one in the group
lending your evidence of extraterrestrials to a dishonest Noone
trusting Noone
being unable to kick yourself in Myke Rotche
being unable to kick yourself in the crotch
suddenly wondering if "trust nobody" would have been more grammatically correct
playing the X Files theme at earsplitting volume on a loop to cover your thoughts from listening agents as you think to yourself "Eiffel Tower no one"
wondering why it's synced to three BBC accounts and one CBC account and then thinking cheerio, cheerio, cheerio, eh
wondering if our spambot is actually a CIA communications device, and this "Kento" is just a made up cover story
wondering why it's synced to three BBC accounts and one CBC account and then thinking oh, right, yeah
that you get the impression both are supposed to be human readable
that twisu is currently being touted as a CIA numbers station, but you thought it was interesting that even though Twitter isn't stuck with the 'dex's limited character set, twisu still abides by it
bo PiplW GiNwsps ZLgGM PZoEC EF AwQ X awsGXQBaimYgTVN TE ESBdaydsTeMoyjwJnruI U ZphHv Tgd Qv tF qXxkgC dhtFVQegS zIZ Nq AV qt s aD GdMGsjNzD
wondering if the spambots of the internet are kind of like the numbers stations of old
twisuThree
eating gelled rices for breakfast, eh
eating girdle leeches for breakfast
eating her sliced glee for breakfast
eating grilled cheese for breakfast
most often they just squeezed the balls, turned them over in their hands a few times each, and inspected the laces
hearing your parents discussing donating money to Doctors without Borders and making the comment "those poor doctors, they need money so they can afford borders"
belettes sans la rougeole
weasels with measles
Olympic documents show Boston city employees barred from speaking negatively about Olympics, IOC, USOC, wicked pissah
being late for Disneyland because of weasels
being late for Disneyland because of measles
being late for Disneyland because of measels
requiring all hybrid and electric cars to play fake engine sounds to alert passersby
literally shitting your ants
promising to check into a hotel as Troy Story sjould you ever need a pseudonym
accidentally writing "Toy Story" as "Tory Story"
We could likely remove six million cars from the road if benefit claimants were not driving
musically shitting your pants
literarily shitting your pants
literally shitting your pants
Friends, mejores momentos
A#M#I#G#O#S#
podria ser mas molesto
not knowing whatever happened to Haitian Gunther
not knowing whatever happened to a clean arachnid
not knowing whatever happened to Mexican Chandler
not knowing whatever happened to nil Canada car, eh
not knowing whatever happened to Canadian Rachel
a kind of digressing, eh
it probably wasn't really worth it
second of all it was totally worth it
first of all it was worth it
thinking you have ducks up your nose whenever you get a nosebleed
a kind of resigned sigh
thinking you have dicks up your nose whenever you get a nosebleeu
thinking you have dicks up your nose whenever you get a nosebleed
thinking you have sinusitis whenever you get a nosebleed
thinking you have hypertension whenever you get a nosebleed
BRODYQUEST
thinking you have brain cancer whenever you get a nosebleed
There is no price tag on Myke Hawke's twin brother
There is no price tag on Myke Hawke
onion booty
try ogre anally, eh
the anal orgy lyre
largely horny tea
laryngeal theory
There is no price tag on my dignity
a ribbed dung rooting
ringing a dubbed root
untried boob niggard
using pantyacid to save your panties from ants
antacid for Mick
using antacid to save ants from acid
singing along with the radio, got your headphones on
good natured rubbing
good natured ribbing
aiding and abetting a neck romance
When Neck Romancer's Assistant enters the battlefield, put the top three cards of your library into your graveyard
As Archangel of Strife enters the battlefield, each player chooses war or peace
Goblin Raider can't block
being caught in a neck romance
neck romance
necromance
Kento Krush
wishing your girlfriend was a freak like Kento
new moon
Canada Crush, eh
Kentobrine
Kentomastia
Kentoplating
Kentorhythmia
Kentolingus
Kentophilia
Kentophobia
Kentoectomy
Kentofecundity
Kentolexia
Kentofication
Kentoitis
Kentolysis
Kentomalacia
Kentogenesis
Kentocele
Kentofacience
Kentocentesis
Kentodynia
Kentobiosis
Kentoception
Kentocephaly
Kentotortion
Kentotropism
Kentotainment
Kentosis
Kentorrhea
Kentopoiesis
Kentopsy
Kentoma
Kentorama
Kentonoma
everybody rocking your body
being a seditious bioterrorist
you are not a bioterrorist, no bio
you are not a bioterrorist
coughing all over company computer keyboards when you might be getting the flu because you are a bioterrorist
coughing all over company computer keyboards when you might be getting the flu
Pope says Catholics don't have to shit 'in the woods'
Pope says Catholics don't have to breed 'like bunnies'
Hustler v Falwell
they levy the dong tit, bye
Wilkinson v Downton
they don't live, they get by
an incumbent prime minister has no duty to remain in office until it is clear what form an alternative government might take
closing your eyes in order to 'see for certain' or in layman's terms 'reinforce your own bias'
Kentosemen
FULLY FUNCTIONAL Lalcode
rubbing Raymond Burr out in the bathroom at church
Boyfriend of war tribute pee woman Wendy Lewis in Nazi salute shame
Kentosema
teabagging Raymond Burr until he had a breastgasm
wondering if the chaotic nutter is the one who forgot how to break on an icy bridge
sexy Eiffel shoe snot
sexy shoe snot
shoe snot
shoe shot
Joseph and his amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat have been invited back to close their eyes, draw back the curtain to see for certain what they thought they knew
wondering if the rats' nests are listed
Joseph and his mother have been invited back to see the film as guests of the cinema
Patriots plan to cooperate with investigation into deflated balls
I choked on Myke Hawke
I choked on my porridge
he drank his coffee before it was cool
wondering how the hipster burned his mouth
slamming your beloved and reliable dick in your car door
slamming your dick in your beloved and reliable car door
stopping worrying about braking on an ICBM and consequently learning to love the bomb
not braking on your bridge, your icy brakey bridge
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently slamming your dick in your reliable and beloved car door
taking on two paedophiles
regret eight three one eight one
to take on one paedophile as a personal advisor may be regarded as a misfortune, but two looks like carelessness
Mr Cameron said Mr Richards had his "full confidence"
A former adviser to David Cameron and one of the original investors on the BBC's Dragons' Den has been arrested on suspicion of raping a thirteen year old girl
wondering if it is still a selfie when other people are also in the shoe
wondering if it is still a selfie when other people are also in the shot
filthy neutral mucus
Liam Bensson Slammed Over Selfie With Slim Ass Ire
Dash of Trickery Turns XXXXX Into a Rout Head this lnggg
sexy mucus
drawing a picture of a beauty pageant winner having rough sex on top of a pile of selfies taken with other beauty pageant winners
Miss Lebanon Slammed Over Selfie With Miss Israel
you could say was
you could say was literal butt cavity
we built Tit City on rock and roll
you could say she was cutely vital bra tit
you could say she was a little vicar butty
you could say she was all but Tit City rave
you could say she was cravat utility belt
you could say she was attractively built
in Europe
Miracle Colon Man survives being sandwiched between Chris Lydon and a walrus in massive Oregon pileup
Miracle Colon Man survives being sandwiched between big rigs in massive Oregon pileup
being fined by Suzi Finer
Some results may have been removed under data protection law in Europe
wondering if Robert Stickia is another of the many dudes who banged Suzi Finer
Robert Stickia
your sinuses filling with ever sexier mucus over the course of a week
your fruitbowl not matching your drupes
your sinuses filling with ever waxier mucus over the course of a week
your carpool not matching your commute
your carpet not matching your drapes
all the poor cats in the world who got named after anime characters
Whoa, Robert Loggia!
ball bearing enormous breasts
ball bearing
enormous breasts
UVPL
VPL
how much a hooker charges for it
getting a hard biting sinker from Rollie Fingers in the dumpster behind the National Baseball Hall of Fame
Rollie Fingers
wondering to what sex act "suspending the Anthony" refers, and how much a hooker charges for it
announcing it would suspend the Anthony later Saturday afternoon
ineffectual spears, if you know what I mean
neuter piles
masculine guiles
feminine wiles
Jonathan Livingston Wingull
Mr Briney
Elton Punter
lionizing Elton John
Pretty "Woman"
that true heartwarming story was the basis of Pretty Woman
late that summer Suzie found a sugar daddy who paid for her final MtF surgeries
reading through the lyrics to Crocodile Rock and guessing that "crocodile rock" is a codeword for some kind of unspeakable sex act and suspecting that "Suzie" probably hang out a lot around Steak n Shake
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Crocodile Rocking is something shocking
drawing a picture of Elton John being fucked simultaneously in each of his holes in the hot tub in Cat's Lair
sometimes consciously thinking of Elton John as a cartoon lion and sending him crudely rendered drawings of he and David Furnish Yiffle Towering you
But the biggest kick I ever got was doing a thing called the Kebab Rock
still not stopping
drawing a picture of Disney's Robin Hood being Eiffel Towered by Elton John and David Furnish
not stopping after "sometimes unconsciously thinking of Elton John as a cartoon lion" even though you knew no good would come of continuing
sometimes unconsciously thinking of Elton John as a cartoon lion
sometimes unconsciously thinking of Elton John as a cartoon lion, because of his noted bad behavior and flamboyant homosexual displays, and wondering which if any of his enemies is a homely looking and largely inept cartoon fox
the unnecessarily visceral death scenes in Brokeback Mountain Lion being accompanied by an Elton John pop ballad
the unforgettable "you want chilli sauce" scene from Kebab Rock Mountain
being subtly fucked under
swearing a deposition of being Eiffel Towered by paying friends of John Kreese at his dojo in the Eighties and having not come forward to police at the time out of fear
fear not existing in this dojo
being subtly fucked over
Amazon's Luxembourg tax deal broke European state aid rules Woman plans to marry her father after two years of dating phthirus pubis squirting
Woman plans to marry her father after two years of dating phthirus pubis squirting
powerful fantasy lives
the audience that 'Kebab Rock' reached most strongly have powerful fantasy lives
the audience that 'Brokeback' reached most strongly have powerful fantasy lives
Sin, even for those who have no faith, exists when people disobey their conscience
Amazon's Luxembourg tax deal broke European state aid rules
Woman plans to marry her father after two years of dating
phthirus pubis squirting
phthirus pubis
squirting
juggalo odobenosis
harlequin ichthyosis
you're out of your league, pretty boy
you should know that this is the strangest thing that I have ever done
like a fish off a duck's back
I have GOT to get me one of THESE!
bottoming for Christopher Lydon in Aged Dynamo Danged Mayo Egad, Monday VII
encapsulating the last several years of regrets with "made ya dong gay dad omen gay demon ad a dyed mango aged dynamo egad, Monday danged mayo"
ye gonad dam
made ya dong
gay dad omen
gay demon ad
a dyed mango
aged dynamo
egad, Monday
danged mayo
a God damn ye
Cosby pushed out the settlers, forcing them to repurchase their properties, and then, as supreme judicial official of the colony, rejected the popular pleas led by Lewis Morris
wondering if one of us is the other's Lincoln Continental
wondering if one of us is the other's Lincoln Hawks
wondering if one of us is the other's Lincoln Hawk
wondering if one of us is the other's Myke Hawke
wondering if one of us is the other's Michael Moorecock
wondering if one of us is the other's Michael Moore
wondering if one of us is the other's Mary Tyler Moore
faire et se taire
wondering if one of us is the other's Steven Tyler
wondering if one of us is the other's Tippecanoe, too
wondering if one of us is the other's John Tyler
wondering if one of us is the other's James Michael Tyler
wondering if one of us could be any more the other's Matthew Perry
the observances of the religion of Ikedism
having noted before that Carrie Fisher is the same age as your mother but never realised until now that Mark Hamill is the same age as your father
literally not being able to conceive of a situation in which given the opportunity you would not kill for Mark Hamill, even though he is the same age as your father
getting a really good night's sleep, followed by an absolutely shit night's sleep, followed by a night of waking up several times thinking you must have been asleep for hours right but it turning out not to be the case
wondering if one of us is the other's Matthew Perry
literally not being able to conceive of a situation in which given the opportunity you would not hit on Carrie Fisher, even though she is the same age as your mother
wondering if one of us is the other's Tyler Perry
returning the cruel anal lab
wondering if one of us is the other's tofucken
it's quite cool
The Curious Cans of Carrie Fisher
returning the slab
wondering if one of us is the other's turducken
The Curious Cans of Fisting Go Ikeda
BBCBBWs
the observances of the religion of Satanism
Inside the Actor's Clinic
the craft of the herpes world
the herpes of the craft world
that the effect of the public sector equality duty on this bill is at local authority's choosing to hold religious observance in their meetings will not then be able lawfully to discriminate against the observances of the religion of Satanism
they were told that they should give up on their seat to help to fight another, more winnable constituency miles away
I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true! and then the witch doctor he told me what to do! he said if her daddy's rich take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor just do what you feel, speed along the lane do a turn or return the twenty five when
having also considered the possibility because of the distinct feeling that someone is knows you specifically from the real world
having seriously considered the possibility before due to a known tendency to hold conversations with others while sleeping
wondering if one of us is the other's nerdy LED turd
wondering if one of us is the other's Tyler Durden
BBCs
BBWs
Two dead in Belgium as police foil 'waffletastic scale' terrorist plot
Two dead in Belgium as police foil 'grand scale' terrorist plot
lobstering
the caridoid escape reaction
threatening to bone House Kisser John Speaker
threatening to kill House Speaker John Boehner
the lustre of the groceries
the CLOSURE of the Register
the closure of the Register
the closure of the Registry
messing around with yourself, giggling to the registry
flushing the nuts on Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
flopping the nuts on Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
messing around with the registry, giggling to yourself
being the nuts on Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
drawing a picture of Joey, Chandler, and Ross buttering their nuts together
squattering your bush with a squatternut bosh
wearing hot pink thongs
'nut rage' on Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
imagining Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet to be like the one in X Men, except filled with depilated bleach blonde boys wearing hot pink thongs
eating the nuts on Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
last call for Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
boarding Bryan Singer's twink rape orgy smut jet
they're twink rape orgy smut jet
they're just trying to keep warm
Target to shit red anal coals at sundown, eh
Target to shit red anal coals at sundown
Target to shut down all Canadian stores
This understanding of collective sex is the reason for the emergence of the Eiffel Towering movement
buttering your nuts before squashing them with a butternut squash
they don't want to upset the apple cart and they don't want to cause any harm
seeing the sign and it opening up your mind
This understanding of collective crime is the reason for the emergence of the Nazi movement
ce que je voudrais est que je voudrais embrasser et te embrasser
paenungulates
ungulates
Kerry to give 'big hug' to Paris after attacks
PETC
PETB
PETA claims that the way the frozen burritos are "stuffed" into the Taco Bell is similar to how circus elephants are chained inside railroad carts
drawing a picture of Kento being Safari Zoned by Ash Ketchum with a gun
drawing a picture of Kento being Safari Zoned by Ash Ketchum with a gun in his hand
either or
whose head
drawing a picture of Kento being Safari Zoned by Ash Ketchum with a gun to his head
Kaiser pulls his gun out and explains the rules of the Safari Zone you always go fist Ikeda
forgetting your fake Facebook name login and suddenly remembering why you need it, it's for everything to stop complaining that you're not logged in to Faceubik
using all the PCs now in existence to run code that the PM wants to ban
guns guns guns, looking for a good time
Kaiser pointing his revolver at Ash
seeing Kaiser reach for his gun
He then points the gun at Ash's head to demonstrate his point
Kaiser pulls his gun out and explains the rules of the Safari Zone
you always go fist Ikeda
meaning me
that you don't know if you mean you when you say you or you mean me when you say you
Denver area dinosaur cartoon refuses to show video of deceased gay woman kissing fiancee
not remembering why you didn't like Opera over Chrome
Denver area church refuses to show video of deceased gay woman kissing fiancee
PETA claims that the way the Pokemon are "stuffed" into the Poke Ball is similar to how circus elephants are chained inside railroad carts
going Fist Ikeda
considering switching from firefox to chrome because firefox has been causing your computer to melt down when you have more than two tabs open lately, but really not trusting google as a company
all burying dudes up to the neck in some sand and whatnot
honestly thinking about the Foreign Legion as a thing to do with the rest of your life
noting that Windows runs a damn sight faster with Chrome pared back to beginnings, even though you had one Adblock extension installed and barely did anything with it
justdelete dot me
deleting your Chrome profile, an action which 'can't be undone' even though the bookmarks and even cookies of the old profile are still clearly present, and the Chrome helpsite being a total nofuckyou zone
the tedium of copying system folders back and forth
everyone else loves Ned Flandles
so they say
Kento's love handles
Halichoeres bivittatus
Kento's handles
talking fuck handles
horse ebooks
burying flowers
burying drinks
there was a period of time when men who were feminized and confused about their own sexual identity had entered the priesthood
following sun and leaving the melting snow
all down the street they're standing in line
auto levelling audio players
deadlines
fighting the rising odds largely by diverting rivers and tricking other people into doing work for you
a streetwise Hercules
vegan kosher fair trade shellfish juice
shellfish juice
wondering how many times Kento has lied and said it was just shellfish juice
Rude people, with shellfish juice dripping down their chins, who can't hold a witty conversation
how I'm gonna get through
you went away
since you went away
talking for candles
talking for hours
reading books
buying flowers
buying drinks
probably having heard Arcade Fire in like a store or on the radio or something, but seriously not having sat down to listen to them ever
when you were a kid and the arcade fire was a serious thing that destroyed people's livelihoods, not like today when it's a band you're not sure you've ever knowingly heard
the International Daft Punk Quarantine Centre
the International Mumford & Sons Quarantine Centre
the International Adele Quarantine Centre
the International Arcade Fire Quarantine Centre
Colbie Caillat's name in an hilariously half sized text
the International Taylor Swift Quarantine Centre
the International Robert Plant & Alison Krauss Quarantine Centre
the International Herbie Hancock Quarantine Centre
the International Dixie Chicks Quarantine Centre
the International I Still Can't Duplicate Regrets But It's Utwo Again Here Quarantine Centre
the International Ray Charles Quarantine Centre
the International Outkast Quarantine Centre
the International Norah Jones Quarantine Centre
the International O Brother, Where Art Thou Soundtrack Quarantine Centre
the International Steely Dan Quarantine Centre
the International Santana Quarantine Centre
the International Lauryn Hill Quarantine Centre
the International Bob Dylan Quarantine Centre
the International Celine Dion Quarantine Centre
the International Alanis Morissette Quarantine Centre
the International Tony Bennett Quarantine Centre
the International Whitney Houston Quarantine Centre
the International Eric Clapton Quarantine Centre
the International Natalie Cole Quarantine Centre
the International Quincy Jones and Various Artists Quarantine Centre
the International Bonnie Raitt Quarantine Centre
the International George Michael Quarantine Centre
the International Utwo Quarantine Centre
the International Paul Simon Quarantine Centre
the International Phil Collins Quarantine Centre
the International Lionel Richie Quarantine Centre
the International Michael Jackson Quarantine Centre
the International Toto Quarantine Centre
the International Jakamoko Quarantine Centre
the International Yoko Quarantine Centre
the International Cocoa Quarantine Centre
Daesh
lion cubs of the Caliphate
you never go ass to Mars
the sound of someone you love who's Eiffel Towering you with a walrus and it doesn't matter
the sound of someone you love who's going away and it doesn't matter
Gap dong
the dongs of wang
it has a knob on the end
A Middle Earth wizard who farmed the only herd of Sauron engineered orcs in the land has been forced to cull the number of his herd after they became too aggressive and tried to attack his staff
aurochs, what are they good for
A British farmer who farmed the only herd of Nazi engineered cows in the country has been forced to cull the number of his herd after they became too aggressive and tried to attack his staff
Sung Dong il
separating the ass from the anus in Boyz ii Men
separating the ass from the anus in Uranus ii Uranus
getting Myke Hawke to Uranus
getting your anus to Uranus
getting your ass to Uranus
getting your ass to Mars
putting your mind into a happy photograph
Kandyman
Caramello Koala
Freddo Frog
fairy bread
Former vice chairman of Hinchingbrooke hospital Victor Lucas 'astonished' by Circle's exit
being a little sad because an old friend is dying and there's nothing you can do
that was a good idea
I almost went with Rtwo unit motivators but I thought power converters would be better
An Imperial Navy intelligence official and a Tattooine T sixteen mechanic were found guilty Wednesday on Imperial conspiracy charges stemming from a mysterious scheme to manufacture hundreds of power converters for a secret military project
Contaminated walrus sixty nines Dresden Dolls fans at Boston Aquarium
A Navy intelligence official and a California hot rod mechanic were found guilty Wednesday on federal conspiracy charges stemming from a mysterious scheme to manufacture hundreds of AK fortyseven rifle silencers for a secret military project
Contaminated bear sixty nines KISS fans at Mozambique funeral
Contaminated beer sixty nines KISS fans at Mozambique funeral
Caesar's wife
Contaminated beer kills sixty nine people at Mozambique funeral
No French Love
Confirmed colon Obama watched NFL playoffs instead of going to Paris
seeing a lot of Myke Hawke lately and wondering if you even like Myke Hawke
Unnecessarily Censored
blowing the littlest hobo taking the hugest dump
blowing the littlest hobo
Taboo Rump Porno Died
Pumped Abortion Odor
A Dumb Rodeo Pit Porno
Bad Rump Rodeo Option
fellating that drifter
Bonito Dump Rape Odor
Bad Poop Intruder, Moo
Morbid Pound Rape Too
Operation Dumbo BZZZZZZZT
Operation Dumbo Drop
seeing a lot of kosher vegan Canadian rock lobster in the freezer aisle lately ski doo be dop and wondering if you even like rock lobster, eh, oy vey, eww
seeing a lot of kosher vegan Canadian lobster in the freezer aisle lately and wondering if you even like lobster, eh, oy vey
biting Myke Hawke
biting your tongue
pitting Dick Pitstick against Mye Hawke
seeing a lot of kosher vegan Canadian lobster in the freezer aisle lately and wondering if you even like lobster, eh
seeing a lot of vegan Canadian lobster in the freezer aisle lately and wondering if you even like lobster, eh
seeing a lot of Canadian lobster in the freezer aisle lately and wondering if you even like lobster
drawing a picture of Flapdome Squid and Kit Fisto braiding their tentacles and slash or lightsabres together
Flapdome Squid, Jedi Knight
flapdome squid
flipmode squad
not after a visit to the Shire
wondering if Groin was as hairy as Balin
Balin's uncle, Groin going slow because you have bears down Uranus
Balin's uncle, Groin
going slow because you have bears down Uranus
going slow because you have to make a decision as the New Horizons probe bears down on Uranus
really hoping those vegan kosher prawns you got that said country of origin Honduras on them weren't also farmed by slaves like the ones from south east asia were
going slow because you have to make a decision
as the New Horizons probe bears down on Uranus
inserting a level ten waffle into your location
as the New Horizons probe bears down on Pluto
not being sure if you've seen The Boys from Brazil or The Lucifer Complex and thought you were seeing The Boys from Brazil
Dick Pitstick is on MySpace
Dick Pitstick
inserting a level ten erection into your location
erecting a level ten waffle around your location
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's waffles
wanting to make Kento the hugest dump for his birthday
the England and Hawke Cricket Board, buy our knives
the England and Wales Cricket Board, cheerio, isn't it, chirp chirp
repairing artists and sportspeople
damaging artists and sportspeople
music promoter Harvey Goldsmith, Iron Maiden, the Arctic Monkeys and the managers of One Direction, as well as the National Theatre, the Lawn Tennis Association, the Rugby Football Union and the England and Wales Cricket Board
imagining Balin being shaved by two hobbits and covered in hot grits
imagining Balin being shaved by two hobbits
imagining a hairless Balin
a hairless Balinese named Raider
a Balinese hairdresser named Ali
having never played Magic Colon The Gathering
You draw X cards and you lose X life, where X is your devotion to black
eating out Joe's
stoned prawns
being at Joe's
eating at Joe's
Upravlyaemy Sputnik Aktivnyj
drunken shrimp
By the end of the season we were getting guys out of the Canadian league and off the streets
dog abuse, also
measuring the space time warp in the gravity of a binary star and determined the mass of a neutron star just before it vanished from view
Go's Load Abuse
bald goose USA
seriously considering joining the French Foreign Legion
boo to a goose lads
gooabuselads dot com
goo abuse lads
blood sausage
Le Boudin
this kills the man
Pacha Kamaq was believed to have created the first man and woman, but forgot to give them food and the man died
love lost without the captain, Number One, cheerio, meow, #jesuisjeanluc
Mama Killa
that Data is Number Two
FULLY FUNCTIONAL love lost without the captain, Number One
love lost without the captain, Number One
love lost without the captain
sharting into that nest of gundarks
Kim Kardashian Talks About Struggle to Get Pregnant Again Colon "It's Just How Douching Works"
farting into that nest of gundarks
Incipit Vita Nova
jerking off into that nest of gundarks
falling into that nest of gundarks
"It's Just How God Works"
Kim Kardashian Talks About Struggle to Get Pregnant Again Colon "It's Just How God Works"
Roman Polanski's Hot Tub Rape Machine
rum fuels deflowered rape #jesuisroman
I wouldn't know
rum fuels deflowered rape
sulfur free mealed powder
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm kissing a galia melon, s'alright
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm thrilling a galia melon
#jesuiskento
The response to #CharlieHebdo should be to reprint his work and spread it wider than his killers could have thought possible
being sure to check it for algae
reminding me to get mega anal oil
Bungle in Jaws
reminding me to get limes
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm holding mega anal oil
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm holding man oil algae
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm holding a lime analog
a bizarre, striated, grown man's arm holding a galia melon
Lydon's erect penis fisting Go Ikeda
natural causes
the death of Sylvia Browne licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis fisting Go Ikeda
the death of Sylvia Browne licking Danish marmalade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
the death of Sylvia Browne licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis
confusing remoulade with marmalade
dicking Janice Tickleson
the death of Rod Taylor
tickling Janice Dickinson
vegan frozen fish
frozen fish
Jaws letting it go
eating a homeowner
Jaws
letting it go
not being a homeowner, ecce homo
being a homeowner, no homo
interspecies tickling
interspecies suckling
being a homeowner
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may switch Fluxcharger's power and toughness until end of turn
#jesuitjanicedickinson
#jesuisdildos
#jesuisjanicedickinson
#jesuishorse
#jesuisahmed
#jesuislemorsecoocoocachoo
#jesuischarlie
insisted didn't mean to insult the 'hit' babymaker after his fans hit back at her comments
insisted didn't mean to insult the 'Baby' hitmaker after his fans hit back at her comments
Mark Wahlberg's wife blasts Justin Bieber
consciously uncoupling the boys from the men
decoupling the boys from the men
separating the men from the boys in Boyz ii Men
separating the men from the boys in Bryan Singer's hot tub
Jerking after sexual intercourse is not an effective form of birth control
This is an edited and adapted version of the series finale that I have put together to exclude a certain romance
separating the men from the boys at a NAMBLA convention
separating the beef from the stew
separating the sheep from the goats
Boston officials "wicked excited" to move forward on twenty twenty four Olympic bid
emulsifying the men with the boys
separating the men from the boys
vetiver
Douching after sexual intercourse is not an effective form of birth control
hurling tires turned out to be incorrect
President Donkey Kong seeing the headline "Sri Lanka's strongman president voted out after decade in power" and being saddened that your mental image of a huge, muscular, oiled man hurling tires turned out to be incorrect
President Donkey Kong
seeing the headline "Sri Lanka's strongman president voted out after decade in power" and being saddened that your mental image of a huge, muscular, oiled man hurling tires turned out to be incorrect
Old Fit Fag Go
A Gift of Gold
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie to Shit in Woods
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie to Meet Pope Francis at the Vatican
the death of Pete B Nippers
the death of Pete Seeger
Ruby red buck you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Ruby red buck, Ruby red buck
flying a cargo plane full of rubber kid shit into Hong Kong
Ruby red buck you're so fine
flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit into Hong Kong
Rubber ducky you're so fine
just because I can't read those doesn't mean nobody can
YpjcZnIfjfcvw
I've counted your balls
what makes you think I'm not Hitler
North Korea Threatens 'War Disatter' Over Sanctions
if you were Hitler I'd be screwed right now
North Korea Threatens 'Star Wars Die' Over Sanctions
wondering whether you noticed that twat raiders is not an actual anagram, I just wrote it because it was too awesome
North Korea Threatens 'Dear Wart Sis' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Rad Waitress' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Eastward Stir' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Rawer Sadist' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Raised Warts' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Tawdrier Ass' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'Twat Raiders' Over Sanctions
North Korea Threatens 'War Disaster' Over Sanctions
Justin Bieber fans sent death threats to Lara Stone after Calvin Klein advert
wankin in the whole sale flowa district that day
David Cameron Colon I can fix EU 'problem'
walkin in the whole sale flowa district that day
doing the roller boogie, baby
the future's not ours to see
gouaille
in the crush of the dark
using the bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis to choke people in a fit of rage
being on the Eifel Towering Council but not receving the rank of Master
wondering what certification process there is to receive the title of Master Eiffel Towerer
hacker group Anonymous have announced via IVchan that they have added several layers of encryption to Dropbox and iCloud accounts linked to Kento Ikeda, calling the contents 'horrifying' and 'unnatural'
Master Eiffel Towerer Christopher Lydon calls Kento "sex in the ass"
Master and Sommelier the Vineyard of the World
Master Sommelier Madeline Triffon calls Pinot "sex in a glass"
Maybe in this day and age we should be more vigilant, but come on, asking someone to horse Wolf Blitzer is clearly a joke
I always make fun of Wolf Blitzer just because, and I in no way intended this to become what it has
Man wearing 'I have drugs' t shirt arrested, accused of having drugs
colon urination is for the birds
War Over Hollywood Sign Pits Wealthy Residents Against Urinating Tourists Colon "One of These Days Someone Will Get Shot"
despite many individuals' adherence to principles of safer pinot rectal or pinot vaginal sex almost nobody, apart from female commercial sex workers, uses condoms for oral sex
despite many individuals' adherence to principles of safer peno rectal or peno vaginal sex almost nobody, apart from female commercial sex workers, uses condoms for oral sex
knowing one thing in this world that's still pure and good
nailing Jesus to the cross, if you know what I mean
rowing the boat ashore
there'll be no accusation, just friendly crustaceans under the sea
Linkin Hawk
Wankin Park
Super Mario Delauter
Linkin Park
Kirby Delauter
that one of your neighbors died the day after Christmas after falling into an daemonic alcohol cud on Chrstmas Eve
that's because it is
that sounds like victim blaming
if he's got a problem with it he should stay sober
I'm just saying, maybe he wouldn't be so cranky if you didn't go in dry all the time
not liking your grandfather enough to use more lubrication while having anal sex with him
I don't like him that much
I'm not going to be doing that
I was advising you to use more lubrication while having anal sex with your grandfather
or not, depending on which metaphor we're going with
he's well oiled enough as it is
guessing that if you oil the asshole it won't whine as much
the whiny old asshole
that although this is going to sound cruel, you kind of wish your grandfather would get on with drinking himself to death, because you're pretty sick of spending one week in fifty two with the whiny old asshole
Farrah Abraham's Lip Injections Went Horribly Wrong
a pedophile is in your house, we are not amused
that one of your neighbors died the day after Christmas after falling into an alcohol induced coma on Chrstmas Eve
Alcohol Poisoning Kills Six Americans Every Day
a pedophile is in your house
Jack Dempsey, Sinclair Lewis and Ring Lardner
a pedophile fugitive sex
a pedophile
you don't get hot and cold running meningitis at your bedside
eating toast with mustard on it for dinner because that's all there is in your house
you don't get hot and cold running senoritas at your bedside
you don't get hot and cold running migrants at your bedside
Myke Hawke loves seven year old girls
Myke Hawke asking you how many ways you can use a cravat, and you don't even know what a cravat is
you don't get hot and cold running margaritas at your bedside
deliberately misrepresenting Myke Hawke as a pedophile specifically to make a joke about misrepresenting Myke Hawke as a pedophile
fugitive sex
wondering if this is the Singularity, and all reality is now dictated by convergences of random crap from the internet
reading the top of Myke Hawke's twitter and discovering that he is all over that little girl who survived the plane crash the other day
the Twitter name Myke Hawke
the Twitter name Ray Pew
un grand mal frenesie de jeu de dik
drinking champagne out of your dick
your own question
fatworld
slamming your dick in the chimp anus
TALLOW
LARD
like a baby, burped for the very first time
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, THERE IS ONLY LARD
Putting Pants on Philip
Tate currently weighs four hundred pounds
wondering how many of the registered users of fatworld are just sockpuppets engaged in some monstrous silent conflict nobody sane could ever possible care about and realizing you answered your own question
guessing that Bill Clinton is probably the Emperor of Mankind in fatworld
wondering about, then betting on the likelihood of, Jeffrey Epstein having a literal stable in which he keeps sex slaves
doubting that any of the girls in Jeffrey Epstein's stable of sex slaves had enough meat on her bones to satisfy ol' Slick Willie
Ariana Grande, who reportedly has her staff carry her around like a baby, denies tabloid rumors that she has her staff carry her around like a baby
you keep your hair but not your dignity
up yours, past me
that now, against all the odds, past you has apparently come to the amazing Regret Index to taunt you about how he's still getting laid
I do pretty much the same things as you but I have a girlfriend
here you are, drawing your main entertainment as it sometimes seems from writing joke gay porn titles and homophonics and watching other people's videos of themselves playing video games, while fat gay Asians are having orgies at the Boston Aquarium
taking a dump in the Flickr pool
a clone of yourself would do such a great job of being you that it would want nothing to do with you
Only n Woodland City
the fellow that all of the riots are about
wondering if Jeffrey Epstein was one of those weirdos, ldo
wondering if Jeffrey Epstein bought all those houses so he'd have enough beds to keep his ludicrous dirty book collection under, or whether he was one of those weirdos with a whole shelf of them just out on display
lots of love
Sado Masochistic LOLs
probably not being able to resist drawing fingers on the numeral ones
SM lOl Colon A Realistic Introduction
noted lovers of sadomasochistic sex, the Scots
Training with Miss Abernathy Colon A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners
feeling like there's just no way you could travel back in time and explain yourself to your past self or vice versa, let alone start an experimental sexual relationship with yourself, let alone a clone of yourself
here you are, drawing your main entertainment as it sometimes seems from writing joke gay porn titles and homophonics and watching other people's videos of themselves playing video games, while fat old men are having orgies on sun soaked private islands
finding it harder and harder to understand your past self
modded SlaveCraft
SlaveCraft Steve
SlaveCraft Colon Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude Principles, Skills and Tools
Jeffrey Epstein looking like Scott Bakula let himself go after a few years in prison
drawing a picture of Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton bearing down on a teenage sex slave in a horrible daisy chain
Now that Prince Andrew has found himself ensnared in the sleazy sex slave story of wealthy degenerate Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton can't be too far behind
grisly acne grin, eh
garnishing celery
gathering all those magical colons
the very notion that women play Magic Colon The Gathering
When Rotcrown Ghoul dies, target player puts the top five cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard
three point one four shaved kids
three point one four shaved dogs
pi nudity labs
indisputably
you started it
it's obvious you've given this a lot of thought
Kingdom of the Pisshole Skullfuck
The Ass Pooshave
The Testicle of Spooge
Gaydars of the Lost Ass
during a seance the lights were unexpectedly turned on and he was seen holding a spirit trumpet
Choceur Treasures
na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
AHHHHHH FRESH MEAT
posting online a photo of your dog standing on a kid
the world is not a tangled knot of failure, but it is such a perfect place to start, my love
the world is not a tangled knot of failure
#eiffeltowering
posting online a photo of your kid standing on a dog
having your head cut off when someone took your picture
lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground
L'intello du porno
caring
being pelagic zoned
one thousand regrets
being seen standing alone
dear old smelly foot friends, raggedy looking things whom you must now dispose of
old shoes
new shoes
AeroMobil Three point Oh She's blonde, for Christ's sake!
AeroMobil Three point Oh
She's blonde, for Christ's sake!
He must have been out of his mind!
to go out on a date with her right on panel
I told Dexter not to be messing with Betty but he didn't listen
certain death awaits if you get off the bug
shitting down all the garbage mashers on the detention level
his mastery of the om nom nom noises was really something
honestly, nothing Kento does can really shock us any more
thinking about how restrained the amazing Regret Index response to news of rectal feeding practices was
stretching your mouth to let those big cocks cum right in
stretching your mouth to let those big words come right out
another weed cake in prep
another wee caked nipper
another kneecapped weir
another crappie weekend
another carp weekend
Palace Colon Sex Claims Against Prince Andrew False
lying to yourself and Sithing on all your friends
lying to yourself and shitting on all your friends
Willie Nelson getting you in a half Nelson to give you a wet willy
Being loyal to your friends is a virtue
Expert Political Judgment Colon How Good Is It How Can We Know
the dickings of Little Death Jimmy
streets are lined with people
the death of Willie Nelson after taxes
the death of Big Charlie Dickens
the death of Little Jimmy Dickens forgetting your brother's birthday
the death of Little Jimmy Dickens
forgetting your brother's birthday
so tired
Duke Mewtwo, Jedi Master
Duke Moosekian, Jedi Master
Duke Moosekian
if you're in a box canyon and IMPACT IS IMMINENT
Am I say I am I say am I Foghorn Leghorn, NO
Modern US Army Apache helmet
wondering if somebody just can't spell January or what
Am I say I am Rod Hull I AM HIM!, NO
#UnapologeticBitch
Am I say I am them, NO
This is niether a crime or an insult or racist!
I'm admiring and acknowledging there Rebel Hearts
Unchaste Rich Vagina Colon The Paris Hilton Story
within this hour she pist full sower and let a fart
the death of Unchaste Rich Vagina
Thousands of big butts wash ashore in Fish County
the death of Christine Cavanaugh
Thousands of dead fish wash ashore in Butts County
Butts County Water & Sewer Authority
Butts County Department of Leisure Services
Butts County Chamber of Commerce
Butts County Assessor's Office
Butts County
ye loikes it, don't ye
writing the sentence "ah yer a dorty bitch to be sure Mister Bono"
writing a slashfic about The Edge edging Bono in the recording studio
pushing Bono over The Edge
really wishing there were a way you could help more people, viz, you feel that more people could benefit from laying their burdens down a moment and just talking things over with an idiot who often fails to retain even very basic knowledge for long
not being mad or bitter or unctuous, just sorry
finding out accidentally because they never actually said anything to you about it, or at least you didn't realise if they did, but anyway why would they
thinking either ThreeG Watchdog is fucked or your provider just doesn't give a shit about how much data you use
because it's ridiculous
we're not using the kay word
finding out accidentally that someone had a shitty year last year career wise, apparently from the word kento
the death of Lebanese terroirist Serge Hochar
I want to feel, I want to play
we're not using the zed word
love's all make believe
being pretty sorry about it but not knowing what else to do or say
finding out accidentally that someone had a shitty year last year career wise, apparently from the word go
I'm in no fit shape
I'm in no fit state
It's morcheeba and a spaceship sighted
writing out Postcards from the Edge on postcards and sending them to The Edge
The Edge always was the voice of reason in that band
imagining Bono running around his Swiss villa screaming about the end of Western civilization until The Edge comes up to him and reminds him that he's just a self centered sack of shit
reading the Bono quote "The band have reminded me that neither they nor Western civilization are depending on" his guitar playing, and thinking that for most people it would be a self deprecating joke, for Bono it seems like he actually thought it was so
Poopgangsta
A man and a woman thought they were trapped in a Daytona State College closet for two days until police let them out Tuesday
Speed Three Colon Unload Gonads
feeling the need, the need to unload gonads
promising to check into a hotel as Pseudonym sjould you ever
need to unload gonads
promising to check into a hotel as Pseudonym sjould you ever need to unload gonads
bottoming for Unload Gonads in Anal Dong Duos VII
being Eiffel Towered by mimel noara and Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
my starfish is like an ankh
my ankh is like a starfish
my hat is like a shark's fin
promising to check into a hotel as Unload Gonads sjould you ever need a pseudonym
the death of Anal Dong Duos
the death of Unload Gonads
the death of Donna Douglas
Oliver Clothesoff
This rocket! Thick!
Oliver Junk
that you will turn your lights down low this year
that you will turn Japanese this year
that you will turn around bright eyes this year
that you will turn undead this year
that you will turn dirty this year
brain they keep in
brain they cut out
they go in through your nose, and they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out
it's not so bad
that you will turn thirty this year
wolverine trout
sabertooth salmon
Prince Andrew named in US lawsuit under overage sex allegations
Prince Andrew named in US lawsuit over underage sex allegations
the Tory image of England's green and waffletastic land was criticised by one commentator, who told The Daily Mail the scene looked a "bit Belgian"
the Tory image of England's green and pleasant land was criticised by one commentator, who told The Daily Mail the scene looked a "bit dildos"
the Tory image of England's green and pleasant land was criticised by one commentator, who told The Daily Mail the scene looked a "bit like Janice Dickinson"
the Tory image of England's green and pleasant land was criticised by one commentator, who told The Daily Mail the scene looked a "bit French"
Prince Harry was fathered by James Hewitt, new play claims
bottoming for The Edge in Bono Colon I
Bono Colon I may never play guitar again
"a lame minor, email Roman, anal memoir" is a good haiku
getting your headphones on
'till you see what you never have seen
mailman roe
no RAM email
anal ire, mom
'ole Mr Mania
me or Manila
a Roman mile
a moral mien
a lame minor
a minor meal
moaner mail
Airman Mole
email Roman
anal memoir
sexsomnia
parasomnia
bruxism
well, I'm stumped
mimel noara
grinding Mary Poppins for supercalifragilisticXPalidocious
Uosdwis R Dewoh
I live in a vegan egg and I call it Brazil's tomb
I live in a vermin isle and I call it egg bra's tomb
I live in a silver mine and I call it beggar's tomb
sadly the modern vogue for heliographic representation of Celestials caracoling roughly with all manner of ancients and fauna shall only grow more pronounced
that, upon clicking a button no larger than that which commands an elevator, you will be able to call upon moving images of a dozen or more Negros, with impressive builds and even more impressive endowments, engaging in group pleasure with fair damsels
drawing a picture of John Elfreth Watkins Jr spinning in his grave beneath a server farm running Minecraft, just down the block from a Lego store
Building in blocks will be illegal
American audiences in their theatres will view upon huge curtains before them the coronations of kings in Europe or the progress of battles in the Orient
Sleep disturbance and aircraft noise exposure
Quebec's Fort Cox Arquette of my arse pulp
it all goes in the vault
Quebec's Fort Cox of my arse pulp
Quebec's Fort Dix of my arse pulp
Quebec's Fort Knox of your arse pulp
ce est la vie de Fort Knox pour nous
Quebec's Fort Knox of my arse pulp
Quebec's Fort Knox of pulpy smear
Quebec's Fort Knox of lamprey pus
Quebec's Fort Knox of sly ape rump
Quebec's Fort Knox of purple yams
Quebec's Fort Knox of layup sperm
Quebec's Fort Knox of lumpy rapes
Quebec's Fort Knox of maple syrup
You may return two Islands you control to their owner's hand rather than pay Gush's mana cost
Ryannorth enters the battlefield tapped
tapping his ass for red mana
tapping his ass
guessing that all those royalty payments to garrulus are really tapping his ass
guessing that all those royalty payments to garrulus are really tapping his resources
wondering what regret magnate Ryan Q North will spend his share of the regret profits on
cancelling the interview because The Interview was not cancelled
no party party
guessing that the interview was canceled because no party party involved could stop laughing at the absurdity of that statement
Today producers told Adams' people they would not let her dictate what they could ask because they're a "news show"
eating that entire Gruffalo
seeing me standing alone, without a dream in Myke Hawke
seeing me standing alone, without a dream in my heart
ill inebriate ho David Geffen
A former North Dakota college football player who was kicked off his team after killing an older man is facing a charge of stalking the billionaire David Geffen
about the Sony hacking
the billionaire David Geffen
A former North Dakota college football player who was kicked off his team after kissing an older man is facing a charge of stalking the billionaire David Geffen
the Today show pulled a scheduled interview with Amy Adams after she said that she wasn't comfortable answering questions about the Sony hacking
that regrets in twenty fourteen were up thirty seven percent from twenty thirteen
that this regret was written at precisely twelve midnight January first two thousand and fifteen central time
from the land where palm trees sway
the island greeting that we send to you
Kento's not fanny
Kento's fanny
A man only identified as George, told the Herald Sun that the incident has shaken regulars at the spot, and said that in his eight years visiting the woods nobody ever stepped in bear shit before
A man only identified as George, told the Herald Sun that the incident has shaken regulars at the spot, and said in his eight years visiting the beach nothing like this has happened before
you're more than what some people let you know
Quinoa oa's Tut Tut Hut
quinoa
you'll never shine if you don't glow
shit happens
ma make me VEGAN kale I like
Spurs' Tim Duncan lists Spicewood home for sale
Ma make kale I like
Melee Kalikimaka
urinating the pressure
calling out your own name, playing you at your own game
instituting the pressure
the death of Israel Urine
the death of Luise Rainer
Enclave Stagg Chili
meating Enclave Stag
When Enclave Stag enters the battlefield, destroy target red meat
White Asshole
Enclave Stag
Vegan Asshole
Vegan Castle
Complete Guide to Velociraptors
Hold the Meat Colon White Castle Introduces New Veggie Slider
guns don't kill people, curious toddlers do
A toddler has shot his mother dead in a supermarket, after he reached into her purse and fired a concealed handgun
short and tan and fat and bearded, the man from Ipanema goes walking and when he passes each one he passes goes "YIPEEEE!"
feeling the music from your head, to your toes, to your shoes
MAS TUR BA TION WOOO, WOO OOO OO, WOOO, WOO OOO OO
The group's lead singer, Bono, said it was a beautiful idea that EL EV ATE ED WOOO, WOO OOO OO, WOOO, WOO OOO OO
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you a bearded oompa loompa seeing a guy in a hardware store that looks like a super tanned George Lucas
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you
a bearded oompa loompa seeing a guy in a hardware store that looks like a super tanned George Lucas
being shaved by two bearded oompa loompas
a bearded oompa loompa
seeing a guy in a hardware store that looks like a super tanned George Lucas
it's a beautiful nude, eh
it's a beautiful new day
Caldera Lake enters the battlefield tapped
The group's lead singer, Bono, said the hat made him do it
As long as Sunspear Shikari is equipped, it has first strike and lifelink
The group's lead singer, Bono, said it was a beautiful idea that went awry
going and making things so complicated, eh
what a sphincter says
what what exactly "
flowers blossom in the winter time
going and making things so complicated
digging deep tunnels, storing more food, not seeking hegemony
'It was very big, well over two metres long, and it looked menacing'
I try
well done
tall and tan and young and lovely, the velociraptor from Ipanema goes walking and when she passes each one she passes goes "clever girl"
never to be tan raptor
never to be torn apart
Aloha Tapir Ho
Alpha Rho Iota
The punishments included were Jewel Spooners, Lick Jobs, Fat Gay Asians, as well as taking "huge dumps", the lawsuit claims
shocking Jewel's boobs
The punishments included were Jewel Shockers, Back Racks, Fat Joes, as well as taking "wood", the lawsuit claims
that is racist
Black creatures can't attack you
When Marshdrinker Giant enters the battlefield, destroy target Island or Swamp an opponent controls
When Bloodhusk Ritualist enters the battlefield, target opponent discards a card for each time it was kicked
god hates Fred Phelps
wondering whether the Westboro Baptist Church protested at Fred Phelps's funeral
Weregorrillas Seek Coalition with Werewolves
Werewolves Declare War on Argentina
Argentina's President Adopts Dog to End Weregorilla Curse
Argentina's President Adopts Boy to End Werewolf Curse
spongethripling
spongeholping
spongekipling
spongekipsing
using the word "colontastic"
drinking the water out of SpongeBob's colon
lending your colon sponge to a dishonest spongebob
SpongeBob Colon Sponge Out of Water
with a shoe on your head
giving away oral and anal via internet tv
giving away inertanaloriental dot tv
giving away oralanalinternet dot tv
giving away oralanalinternettv dot com
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "Oral Anal Internet TV I, is it safe"
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "Inner Latvia oral tent, is it safe"
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "latent anal iron rivet, is it safe"
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "inert anal oriental TV, is it safe"
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "violent natal trainer, is it safe"
the rest of your life is so hard
inserting franks into Jackson C Frank's urethra when you were Aretha Franklin
it's a good thing you don't have a bus fare
it's not the end of the world
a lot of our viewers may be thinking "international travel, is it safe"
Carol Channing singing carols for IVchan
getting an STD SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
we also need to know what you are wearing and what your vital statistics are
it's urgent
please respond
wondering what STD, how it was contracted, and whether you had fun
being invited up chocolate creek abd saying you'd come, but not really having any intention of coming
being invited to a Spanish villa in September and saying you'd go, but not really having any intention of going
it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick walking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a coke Barren Pepsi P
it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick
walking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a coke
Barren Pepsi P
the implication that Pepsi is better than Coke
wanking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a coke fuelled gangbang and not knocking on the door
walking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a PEPSI fuelled gangbang and not knocking on the door
walking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a coke fuelled gangbang and not knocking on the door
an attractive woman flirting with you outside another hotel as you stopped to take a picture
not having the opportunity to get an STD, unless you count walking by a hotel room that pretty audibly contained a coke fuelled gangbang and not knocking on the door
getting an STD, in the parking lot of a strip mall, in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake or at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
getting an STD
FlungLyre
Flung Lyre
FernGully
Fern Gully
fisttuck
fucktits
ar stories of an elderly alcoholic for three dyas straight
listening to the angry circul
damp arse kush
inadvertent Labrador cruelty, eh
dank ass kush
inadvertent Labrador cruelty
inadvertent algorithmic cruelty
Princess Minon Minette
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said waffletastic, he meant it
having a Kento button on your keypad
having a Go button on your keypad
biting experienced speakers
speaking from biter experience
speaking from bitter experience
you should NEVER teabag someone while running down the stairs
Ghostwatch
lolcode failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person holding your boobs when you run down the stairs teabagging Raymond Burr using the word "waffletastic" fisting Go Ikeda
lolcode failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs teabagging Raymond Burr
using the word "waffletastic" fisting Go Ikeda
not hooking up with whoever that was who wanted you to love them
pissing off EVERYONE
peeing on NOONE
laughing then feeling a little sick on getting Disney's Mulan Eiffel Towering Four Dummies
laughing then feeling a little sick on getting Disney's Mulan
Eiffel Towering Four Dummies
laughing then feeling a little sick on getting regret number eight four six seven one
peeing on EVERYONE
Eiffel Towering for Dummies
wondering if the Snorlax will keep you awake again tonight
trying to sleep in a moving vehicle with the heater blasting on full and shitty radio playing
wondering if the snoring will keep you awake again tonight
Menstrual Krampus
Krampus
heinousness
Baggy Pants Lavasaurus
'SALRIGHT
'SOKAY
SORRY
SONY
they just send loco cash tit
they just send Catholic sot
they just send this cool cat
drawing a picture of one hundred people teabagging Raymond Burr with a distinct air of regret about it
SPQRNY
they're prissy, bourgeois, all that Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat
when a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started makin' trouble in your neighborhood, if you know what I mean
when a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started makin' trouble in your neighborhood
Johnnie Worker Red Labial whiskey
SQNY
Fuma
Cnoverse
Hike
Adidos
Clio Coddle
Biemlfdlkk
Marisfrolg
Orgee
Scat
Hotwind
Wanko
Chocoolate
Frognie Zila
you see the world, the world sees you
Helen Keller
Chrisdien Deny
always going reckless in words and deeds like a fat gay asian in a New England Seaworld
always going reckless in words and deeds like a monkey in a tropical forest
agonising Charlie Sheen's trees
the simply agonising Sheen on every angry little tree
dinner con fuoco
the simply agonising sheen on every angry little tree
getting to know the kind of girls it's better not to know caffeine
getting to know the kind of girls it's better not to know
caffeine
Walrus Knob Dodger Faker
Boardwalk's Fudge Kroner
Bilo
the mysterious taste
Gadnuk, Breaker of Worlds
the mysterious east, desu ne
what a start, old before their time
having to admit that your bag packing skills would tend to indicate a poor grasp of geography, climate, and the passage of linear time
having to admit that your bag packing skills would tend to indicate a poor grasp of future considerations of need
having to admit that your bag packing skills would tend to indicate a poor grasp of object permanence
whipping it good, if you know what I mean
consistent fashion
pajamas, with or without bananas
thinking it wouldn't be so bad if they would snore in a consistent fashion
an insomniac sharing a hotel room with a heavy sleeping snorer after spending two nights in the next room from a snorer who suffers horrific sounding apnea attacks
packing toothpaste but apparently not your USB cable or any pajamas, with or without bananas
flirting with the gregarious southeast even though you both know it ain't gonna happen
hooking up with the complacent northeast just because you make each other laugh even though there's no physical spark and seriously reconsidering whether you're with the right person
bottoming for the deep south in Mason Dicks In Line VII
hooking up with the mysterious east, but years later when you were both unhappy with the direction your lives had taken and built the act up in your minds to unattainable levels and were inevitability disappointed by the base physicality of it all
hooking up with the frozen north but thinking about the mysterious east whenever you make love
whipping it good
not being invited to the frozen north's wedding
not hooking up with the frozen north
the frozen north, eh, meow
the frozen north
FULLY FUNCTIONAL LCARS sexts
LCARS sexts
graphic sexts
graphic texts
graphic teats
graphic tees
Dustin Diamond arrested for possession of a switchblade
Breast Quake
Beast Quake
inserting three batteries into Boris Johnson's urethra
it is illegal to distribute pornography depicting johnson boring in the UK
boring Boris Johnson's johnson
you can clean your teeth, gargle, use it as a rejuvenating application, float small paper boats and lubricate exterior door hinges with it
branding Russell Johnson's johnson
wondering what one does with penis paste
branding Russell Brand to deter rustlers
being pretty sure that you didn't pack an Russell Brand brand penis paste before now
being pretty sure that you didn't pack any toothpaste Russell Brand has probably fucked an airhorn before now also Russell Brand's penis
being pretty sure that you didn't pack any toothpaste
Russell Brand has probably fucked an airhorn before now
also Russell Brand's penis
the boobs
wondering what the difference between Katy Perry and an autotuned airhorn is
wrecking Kento's balls
Kento twerking
Akbar Oluwakemi Idowu Gbajabiamila
dont be me
J Jefferson Farjeon
dont eat me
fee fie foe fum
eenie meenie miney mo, no homo
holding your swan
disinterring Oscar Wilde's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated pommel horses
holding your own
eenie meenie miney mo
a pommel horse that was put to alternative athletic uses at the homosexual brothel frequented by Oscar Wilde
catching Chris Lydon under the mistletoe
the AMAZING rugs index
rugs index
grid nexus
during sex
nacho cheese sauce everywhere
nakkoke
Irish evil nakkos
evil nachos
chain voles
ancholives
anchovies
olives
dropping the yuliest log
doubling down
wanting to make Kento a Yule log for Christmas
oh what a feeling, when you're being a glass wig Ian
just bein' a glass wig, Ian
A small waxed pink monster
at my house I have got no shackles
the hoi pollllloi
the hoi pollloi
having a crow to pluck
being happy as a sandboy
one of these days you're going to have to try striking a gong during sex
hello, I am your little furry pal Grover, you killed my father, prepare to die
Panwapa
A small furry pink monster
being a glass wig, Ian
having a bone to gnaw
being a Glaswegian, I'll chin ye
having a bone to pick
being a Glaswegian
Gonger would get it on whenever it's Monster Tea Time
Gonger would bang the gong whenever it's Monster Tea Time
scaling prunes with Prunella Scales
Ugga wugga tea time, ugga wugge clink, Ugga wugga tea time, ugga wugga drink!
Funella Furchester
Osvaldo, el Grunon
Elmonoske
In the current cyber climate, the FBI speculates it is not a question of if a US company will experience an attempted data destruction attack, but when and which company will fall victim
Rosita, la Monstrua de las Cuevas
Kruvi
SuperGrover
Grover
it's a fact that people get lonely, ain't nothing new
suspecting this is going to cause the Hollacast somehow
on the first night of Hanukkake, one Jewish guy ejaculates on Kento
enjoying Hanukkake while it lasts but not enjoying the unpredictability of it
Judge rejects Polanski sex case bid
that's the miracle of Hanukkake
the shaving foam that should have lasted one day instead lasted for eight days
shaving Jews' bush, sieg heil
waxing Jewel's labia
shaving Jewel's bush, meow
Alaskan Brazilian People, meow
Alaskan Bush People, meow
quadrupled stuffed oreos
PORTER WAGONER used NUDIE! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
doubled stuffed oreos
Trevor the Red Nosed Vampire had a very shiny
I'm Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, I've got a very shiny Porter Wagoner
all of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me
I'm Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, I've got a very shiny
Porter Wagoner
you have my permission to poop
I need to poop
with a corncob knob and a button nose and two eyes made out of crap
having never seen Tim Burton and Nicholas Cage in the same room at the same time
taking the most infrared poo
I can't believe you
Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split
I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me
bukkanukkah
hanukkake
confusing hanukkah with bukkake
answering yes to oneoneoneninenine just because it's a pretty good conclusion to have reached
remembering when you got your first laptop and the infrared port seemed impossibly futuristic, but also disappointing because nothing used it since USB one was so much faster
INFRARED INFRARED POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT
confusing Alton Brown, texture like sun with Sir Elton Hercules John CBE
The tap didn't hit the actual head of Swandy Block, who was wearing the Italian sausage costume, but it did knock her over, and she took the hot kid down with her to the paradise city
suddenly missing Wisia and Jan, ten years late
The tap didn't hit the actual head of Mandy Block, who was wearing the Italian sausage costume, but it did knock her over, and she took the hot kid down with her
confusing Alton Brown with Elton John
INFRARED INFRARED wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
and she took the hot dog down with her
not having had pierogis in probably thirty years
seeing the ubermedia test boot screen so frequently
screenings after all
magazines last summer
spilling all that red wine and having to mop it up with old porn magazines last summer
red red whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
red red wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, in the summertime, in the centerfold
getting a slight vapor high from simmering dried fruits in red wine
red red wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
The Polish sausage helped the Italian sausage up and all sausages finished the race
The tap didn't hit the actual head of Mandy Block, who was wearing the Italian sausage costume, but it did knock her over, and she took the hot dog down with her
needing a port substitute, stat
rambo horror picture show
rocky horror picture show
jalapeno hannah
jalapeno pierogis
bottoming for Weiner Tit Evey in Milk Milk Lemonade Lemonade Maid VII
Christensen should have never agreed to be paid in Republic credits
and, unfortunately, you can't buy Kraft Dinner with Republic credits
he needs to work, he spent all his Star Bucks on acting classes
Christensen should have never agreed to make that movie
Christensen should have never agreed to make that movie instead of Battlecreek
Sony confirms 'Wiener Tit, Eh V' will have Christmas Day screenings after all
wondering which despot would be the focus of the now inevitable The Interview II
proposing the Streisand Effect be renamed the Kim Jong un Effect
boring, tasteless movie which would have been seen only by stoned frat guys and their reluctant dates will now have enormous opening and probably win an Oscar, thanks to efforts to censor it
A man obsessed with stealing his female neighbours' lingerie and hiding it away has been caught and arrested after a ceiling collapsed under the weight of his booty
boring, tasteless movie which
As an additional cost to cast Squeaking Pie Sneak, reveal a Goblin card from your hand or pay three
Sony confirms 'The Interview' will have Christmas Day screenings after all
basal relation
labial senator
anal breast oil
real labia snot
keeping the change, ya filthy animal
soft retooling
laser ablation
letting it bollocks, letting it bollocks, letting it bollocks
never mind the snow
Frosty the Bollocksman
Blowing, drifting bollocks causing problems in Colorado
Heavy Bollocks Predicted for Christmas Eve
Heavy Kento Predicted for Christmas Eve
"that was bollocks really"
Heavy, Wet Snow Predicted for Christmas Eve
it's beginning to look a lot like Kento celebrating "huge" dumps
it's beginning to look a lot like Kento
celebrating "huge" dumps
"it's not even on the Tube and there's no Blacks or Irish," said Mr Berengarten
Mr Berengarten said a young Cambridge academic had told him over dinner that Romsey was the "new Islington" but he said "that was bollocks really"
the irony of a party which celebrated "huge" gains in the European elections by demonstrably absorbing the far right and extreme right voting blocks, then allying itself with extreme right parties in Europe, complaining about being described as racist
Players use Nicholas Fromage to kick immigrants in the pursuit of "racism" points, and it's that term which had Farage riled up
scrawnyarmsworld dot wikia dot com
Scrawny Arms Rob Lowe
geacron
Star Wars Episode VIII Colon Good Sith Mom
the abs you get on fatworld
"Good Sith mom"
"Mom shit good"
Sure is fat in here
"Mom is hotdog"
"Tom digs homo"
i dot imgur dot com slash lkRYwcr dot png
the ads you get on fatworld
if you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two
also known as an actress, appearing in a variety of shows where she was getting slightly heavier but by the time she was doing the voice acting for Grand Theft Auto V, where she was voicing a Radio DJ based on herself
Cara is best known for modeling for the company 'Victoria's Secret' where she weighed at threefiftysix pounds
Compton weighed three hundred pounds when she was Laurie in the original film and by the time the sequel came along she weighed threeseventy pounds and since then Compton last reported that in twenty fourteen her weight was fourthirty pounds
North Korean internet breaks, contributions to the fatworld wiki drop by ninety four percent over the weekend
"Oh God, it's mom"
the strange looking new species has set a record for fish depth caught on camera
These youngsters were apparently overcome with disappointment at Kate's appearance at the Northside Center for Child Development in Harlem
Kim Jong un discovers a missed call from Prince Harry on his Arirang
the whole smartphone is made in China, and only the final boxing is done in the rather sparse plant that Kim Jong un toured
the death of Joe Cocker
the death of Joseph Sargent
Kim Jong Phone Colon North Korea's leader inspects a new smartphone factory
These youngsters were apparently overcome with happiness at Kim's appearance at the Korean Children's Union
Kim Jong un tests a mattress for firmness while inspecting a new block of appartments built for North Korean scientists
Kim Kardashi un
Kim Kardashian breaks North Korean internet
coincidence, or something more
suddenly the amazing Regret Index has fallen silent
the North Korean network has gone away
I wish I could believe in you
the fact that time is eternal
The movie is so busy spearing the dragons of American aggression that its cartoonish vision of Canadians as wimpy Pollyannas has little resonance
getting a rash on your back from baking rashers of back bacon
Canadian bacon
going down Trinidad, where they made you feel so very glad
Bandits Gone Wild
the Horny Bandits
the Wet Bandits
everybody loves teabagging Raymond Burr
teabagging Raymond Burr
teabagging Bill Burr
Zombeavers
The big bamboo grows so bold and strong
suggesting snap traps evolved only once
I told you, pick a room
I want you to play with my ding a ling
bottoming for Dumbledore, Satan & Beaver Wang in Drainage Solutions VII
showing me what you're feeling
showing me your intention
Dumbledore, Satan & Beaver Wang Drainage Solutions
calling a man with a long haired half chinease name a "fat gay asian"
calling a woman with a Chinese name a "Chinky bird"
Ukip councillor Rozanne Duncan expelled for 'dong wrap jip' comments
Ukip councillor Rozanne Duncan expelled for 'jaw dropping' comments
The St Louis prosecutor in charge of the Ferguson grand jury today acknowledged that witnesses "absolutely lied under oath" before the panel, but said that none of the perjurers including the unmasked "Witness Forty" would face criminal charges
having cruel anal abs
having five pack abs and one cruel anal lab
having six pack abs
When Mudbutton Torchrunner dies, it deals three damage to target creature or player
Myke Hawke flavor soup mix
I Eat Bread
goddamn pastry, seriously
cock flavor soup mix
that PBF started updating again but the jokes are pretty weak
I Am Bread
smekkur
for decades or more
being pretty sure that Centerfold has the capacity to knock any other song out of your head, instead sinking its own parasitic tubules into your brain, staying there, feeding off your thoughts, for decades or more
if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy went and left her all alone, just do what you feel
if her daddy's rich, taking her out for a meal, gouging out your own eyes to stop this song playing in your head, when the weather is fine, you've got gouging you've got gouging on your mind
The amazing Post Random Lyrics of the Songs You're Listening to at the Moment Index
goin' down down down down
goin' down down DOWN down
goin' down down down down
goin' down down down down
Polanskeye
can't get ye pope
Poopeye
Olive Oylmpus
trying to work out an Olympus slash Serengeti joke but not being able to get the spelling quite right
raging like a blood red sun
trying to work out a The Police slash Polanski joke but not being able to get the spelling quite right
hey little girl is your daddy home, Sting you watch the door this won't take long, oh ho ho I'm on fire
Oylmpus does not rise above the Seenrgite
Oylmpus, see
Every Breath You Take
knowing that you must do what's right, sure as Kisimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I'm on Fire
Oylmpus does not rise above the Serengeti
wondering if there is a creepier song than Jessie's Girl
knowing that you must do what's right, sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
Jessie's got a girl and you wanna make her yours
your blood runs cold, your rye mom has just been sold, your angle is the centerfold, angle is the fencer dolt
your blood runs cold, your memory has just been sold, your A hole is the centerfold, A hole is the centerfold
J Lawrence Band
wondering what Chris Lydon looks like waned
wondering what Chris Lydon looks like waxed
taking the hugest dump while eating pears
I eat pears and shit like that
Lucas numbers
Magic Dick
wondering what Chris Lydon looks like shaven
wishing we still had comments so that you could explain that the previous regret is one of the greatest things
when you're taking a hot Eiffel Towering on a cold day and drops of hot walrus semen drip from Chris Lydon's beard onto your back
wishing we still had comments so that you could explain that the previous regret is one of the greatest things
when you're taking a hot bath on a cold day and drops of cold water drip from your hair onto your back
nailing someone
drilling someone
screwing with someone
being minute twice a day, but only for a right
being right twice a day, but only for a minute
horrible, terrible misunderstandings
at this point having to admit that you probably are, on balance, screwing with someone
more than darkness in the depths
a lost little girl crying out to be seen
wanting to go, always wanting to go, wanting to go somewhere where you don't know
oh oo oh
I'd be better off without you
we don't go together, oh
keeping bakery hours
this morning, apparently
being in such a jerk mood tonight
Perry Como, no homo
fat gay Asian we've been double endin'
fat gay Asian sex pets we've been sharin'
his anus was wrecked his rectum was next we put on a great show
I'll never forget the moment we met and Eiffel Tower'd Kento
Stirb Langsam Doppelpunkt Jetzt Erst Recht
Die Hard Colon Mega Hard
all clapp'd under hatches
Indistinct Entertainment founder and CEO Blurry Steve Hirsch tells Kento Ikeda, whose real name is Kento Ikeda, that he can make $one or more by filming an Eiffel Towering
Vivid Entertainment founder and CEO Steve Hirsch tells Mama June, whose real name is June Shannon, that she can make $one million or more by filming a celebrity sex tape
paying the ferryman before he got you to the other side
Going to Extremes, meow
going THREE extremes
going to extremes
nobody is training them
there must be literally a trillion dogs there
it's horrific
all dogs going to heaven
something terrible
learning something
if you're all alone, pick up the phone, and call
stopping what you're doing, getting down upon your knees, I've a message for you that you'd better believe
Brian Robson Rankin cumming in Cliff Richard cumming in The Shadows in the shadows
Brian Robson Rankin cumming in Cliff Richard in the shadows
Brian Robson Rankin
just cum off the cliff, Dick
cumming in Cliff Richard
cumming in the shadows
running in the shadows
it looks like Kento's off the chain
David Schwimmer is set to play Robert Kardashian in new show creaming Jewel's corn
David Schwimmer is set to play Robert Kardashian in new show
creaming Jewel's corn
inadvertently making a dirty regret via a worse innuendo than the one you discarded
creaming Jewel's soup
creaming Jewel's colon
gathering magical colons to play Magic Colon The Gathering
creaming Jewel's coconuts
only you have the Magic Colon The Gathering technique
only you have the magic technique
ours is the sky and wide open range
being invited to sleep in heavenly piss
watching Catch Twentytwo with Sean Connery and twenty two cats
it looks like Kento be wack
it looks like Kento's off the hook
Mastermind of Pakistan school attack ID'd as militant known by 'Slim'
coffee, cake and kingfishers
no backsides
no backsies
Rumpel fucking Teazer
Mungo fucking Jerry
Killed not by clowns, this Padawan
all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth
stuffing Jewel's chestnuts
that ol' chestnut stuffing
chestnut stuffing
for cheap laughs
turkey stuffing
pepper stuffing
sometimes putting the automatic closed captioning on YouTube videos just for cheap laughs
a whole season of chesty moth porn
trying to record Mythbusters but 'accidentally' ending up with a whole season of chesty moth porn
trying to record Mythbusters but accidentally ending up with a whole season of chesty moth porn
persistent beliefs
S Voice
Roman Prolapseski
Fat girl falls off rope swing
panty stuffing
all through next year
very young girls
his hands
Killed not by clones, this Padawan
Seth Rogan being the guy who reminds you of just how many obese neckbeards there are in America who are willing to pay money to see a film starring someone who looks just like them
that guy who Sith on very younglings
Rojame Fracolanski
that guy who shit on very young girls
that guy who hits on very young girls
having to get at least a couple of hours of sleep
wondering what it will be like for serious filmmakers to lose out at awards ceremonies to a forgettable gross out comedy all through next year
not really knowing who Seth Rogen is beyond references to him in other media, and only really being sure that James Franco is that guy who hits on very young girls
Not just Rogen and Goldberg, but God help us Franco as well
James Franco proves once again that irritation is his strong suit which is a shame because the character could have been appealing and funny out of his hands
cleaning Myke Lawke so many times that your skin becomes dry and flakey
washing Myke Hawke so many times that your skin becomes dry and flakey
washing your hands so many times that your skin becomes dry and flakey
Voyager's Secret
Victreebel's Secret
Venusaur's Secret
Victorinox's Secret
Victrola's Secret
Victora's Secret
I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!
Sears catalog
I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victora's Secret catalog
watching TV alone
dinner alone
dinner with a friend
a date
I've got a hot date
losing a show
Show Ikeda
that you're suddenly very interested in the meat nectar out of a show trope
drinking meat nectar out of a chimp anus
memorising every Star Trek innuendo
it smells worse than the meat nectar
The Curious Cakes of Jaffen
A man puts his finger on a control, and the alarm stops
shut off that damn alarm and I promise I'll never violate you again
pretty much anything
one time, in a basin of cold water
that your recollection of spermarche, or at least of the early years of self discovery, is that you basically jacked off non stop to pretty much anything
or whatever catalog you have in the UK, cheerio
wondering if kids today, who can access high definition interracial gangbang videos with the click of a mouse, will ever experience the thrill of jerking off to the bra section of the Sears catalog
Bubbles' Secret
wondering where one gets chimp underwear catalogs
I used to wank like a chimp to underwear catalogs, and I'm not proud of it
wondering if we have become close enough to be able to comfortably discuss the masturbatory habits of our youth, and, if not, wishing to apologize for crossing that line
the amazing Personal Masturbation Almanac
remembering that summer after tenth grade when you discovered Princess Madeleine, who proceeded to become the target of ninety percent of your self gratification for the next three months or so
wondering who's totally fucked for Christmas
she's literally bred from the same stock
wondering why the British royals have yet to produce someone even one percent as smokin' hot as Princess Madeleine
Sony executives say North Korea comedy 'inexplicably revolves around walrus'
Sony executives say North Korea comedy 'desperately unfunny' things getting a little hairy
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the small french cake is a princess
Sweden's Princess Madeleine expecting second child
Sony executives say North Korea comedy 'desperately unfunny'
things getting a little hairy
I didn't see that movie because Kevin Smith, but seriously, there's no way I'd ever agree to a walrus costume
you can forget about me wearing that walrus suit, too
you're still bottoming though, don't think I'm going to forget about that
I'm just really good at reading people
how did you know that what I wanted for Christmas was to be totally fucked
it's the best thing
there're to women that are attractive enough for me, so I jack off to my own reflection in the mirror, and sometimes I wear a wig or something
there're no novels that I like to read, so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing
Wrenchmakers of America join with MPAA to sue International Space Station over 'ThreeD printing and large scale piracy'
Astronauts on the International Space Station have used their ThreeD printer to make a wrench from instructions sent up in an email
Jordan Parke
The Curious Cans of Richie Rich
The Curious Cans of Christina Ricci
genuinely not being distant, just busy at odd hours
bastard sword specialization
reckless spending and interspecies homoerotica
reckless spending and interracial homoerotica
it's an act of violence, not love
not know what to do with those tossed salads and cyber attacks
the Submissive Urination Court of Justice
trambopoline
trampling
submissive urination
The European Court of Justice was asked to consider the case of a male childminder in Denmark who says he was sacked for being too fat
bisexual architecture
A bright strobe light came on intermittently, and when it wasn't on a TV constantly played a loop of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
pod six is jerks
being run down by a herring buss
the Gray Penal Planet
spidermanian architecture
ironmanian architecture
flailing around in search of a joke
momentarily forgetting about Kelsey Grammer's irritating name spelling and well publicised alcoholism
North Kelsey
Grammar Korea
being treated as a serious national security matter, attack made by sophisticated actor
wolverinian architecture
A bright strobe light came on intermittently, and when it wasn't on a TV constantly played a loop of interracial porn cyclopean architecture
Texas cinema defiantly replaces cancelled Kim Jong un assassination film with free screening of 'TEAM AMERICA'
A Jockey's Christmas
slow sipping a beer as you stand over a grill while people you have only mild contempt for wait inside for their free meal
biclopean architecture
A bright strobe light came on intermittently, and when it wasn't on a TV constantly played a loop of interracial porn
cyclopean architecture
I'm not talkin' 'bout your pigtails, I'm talkin' 'bout your sex appeal
having a date in Constantinople but she was waiting in Istanbul
Thank you, Taco, for that loving tribute to Falco
Hung Sex Shiver can't be shushed
i dot imgur dot com slash lninexVpsevenF dot jpg
taking your balls off the prize
flowers, NEEEERD
flowers
NEEEERD
wondering this fly spray contain any pyrethrins or just smell flowers
wondering your old box of Magic Colon The Gathering ended up, NEEEERD
forgetting to important words in your regrets
wondering your old box of Magic Colon The Gathering ended up
Eiffel Towering can't be countered
Polanski, the Anus Torn can't be countered
Montezuma's Revenge can't be countered, only endured
Vexing Shusher can't be shushed
Montezuma's Revenge can't be countered
Gaea's Revenge can't be countered
Emrakul, the Aeons Torn can't be countered
Thrun, the Last Troll can't be countered
Scragnoth can't be countered
Dead cats and leaves
Dead leaves and cats
Congress sets limits on overseas data collection
giving her both barrels, Harold
Stephen Collins Apologizes for Sexual Abuse Colon Experts Weigh In
there must be fifty ways to skeet your lover
aiming for her cheek, Zeke
shooting in her hole, Joel
gluing up her quim, Tim
blowing between her teeth, Keith
letting off inside, Clyde
jizzing in her face, Ace
just cumming on her back, Jack
jizzing on Tatooine
jizzing on her tattoo in the parking lot of a strip mall last night
jizzing on her, Tattoo
F YOU TED !!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!! COME ON JUMPSTREETERS WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
Peshawar truthers
jizzing on her tattoo
when you hum the Barber of Seville overture and people sing the Barber Ed Loved Wig Torture lyrics, those philistines
hearing the last line of "Barber Ed Loved Wig Torture" as "I will eat your eaaaaaaars" and wondering if you have an arse infection
Arse Infections Colon The Silent Killer
hearing the last line of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" as "I will eat your eaaaaaaars" and wondering if you have an arse infection
hearing the last line of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" as "I will eat your aaaaaaarse" and wondering if you have an ear infection
he does kind of look like the horrible lovechild of Jack Nicholson and Orson Welles auditioning for the lead in an Al Qaeda movie
Leonardo DiCaprio Called 'Despicable' in New Sony Emails
Three Point Men
Three Men
Two Point Five Zero Zero Men
A Statistically Insignificant Number of Dalmatians
Zero Point Dalmatians
One Point Zero One Times Ten to the Fifty Seventh Dalmatians
expressing the quantity of Dalmatians to three significant figures
Zero Point One Zero One Dalmatians
One Point Zero One Dalmatians
Ten Point One Dalmatians
having a hilarious wank with Hilary Swank
Whitehall Edits
the way on Tom Jones' cover of "Thrill" by Prince the line "my love will eat your food" becomes "my love will be your poo" isn't it
I think you're the same as me
Irish Evil Get OK for Boston's Pride Parade
the way on Tom Jones' cover of "Kill" by Prince the line "my love will be your food" becomes "my love will eat your poo" isn't it
Gay Veterans Get OK for Boston's St Patrick's Day Parade
the taste is gonna move ya when you pop it in your mouth
pulling it out
taking a sniff
getting your skis shined up, grabbing a stick of juicy fruit
you and I are gonna live forever
bitches not knowing bout your dick
el asesino lo que me llevo es enchiladas
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead to entitilitis as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
the death of Sylvia Browne to entitilitis
Tom Jones being all your poo and blaming it on his love
Tom Jones eating all your poo and blaming it on his love
Tom Jones eating all your food and blaming it on his love
the way on Tom Jones' cover of "Kiss" by Prince the line "my love will be your food" becomes "my love will eat your poo" isn't it
Neil Hamilton, the Ukip deputy chairman and would be election candidate, stands by a flag that ripples with racist symbolism
the way on Tom Jones' cover of "Kiss" by Prince the line "my love will be your food" becomes "my love will be your poo"
that the kisser what took me is entitilitis
that the killer what took me is wafflitis
that the killer what took me is ratititis
strong words from a strange man
no good sir it lays an egg
were you sent here by the devil
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
dental plan
Lisa needs braces
his bungling has shortened your lives and mutated your children
I think owning the Broncos is pretty good!
Duffman's no penis has been mismanaged
putting a beret on Yu Wang
Duffman's pension has been mismanaged
putting a mini beret on your wang
it certainly puts Shia LaBeouf's ordeal in a new light
No Means Yes, Yes Means Anal
molten metal is ridiculously strong
enremous
enromous zzzzzap
enromous
zzzzzap
that the gay guy in the Ajax Steel Mill carrying an enromous vat of molten metal is ridiculously strong
the Ajax Steel Mill
EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!
the cuticle of your toes look you
the coracle of your foes look you
in one car, with no air conditioning, and the little poop machine going every twenty minutes
the nacre of your trees
the coracle of your foes
the center of your arse
the color of your faeces
Oprahraptor
Oprah Torpor
using the spellings 'arse' and 'center'
Okra Torpor
he's several center folds
he's the center fold
wanting to make Kento a subscription to Pork Orator for his birthday
Pork Orator
Semen's Health
Orkoraptor
Queuosine modification alters features of tRNA anticodons
wanting to make Kento a subscription to Men's Health for his birthday
Men's Health
glistening in the sun, taut and muscular
rampant, unchecked homophonia
A leading Conservative backbencher has been reported to Parliament's standards watchdog for potentially breaching the rules on declaring financial interests in the House of Commons
Australia probes navel 'sex game'
wondering if a professional writer made a homophobic jokie
that they're gay
service
I won't be making that mistake again, sir
wondering if a professional writer made a homophonic jokie
venting prevents explosion
vent radioactive gas
strictly speaking he arseraped someone
whatever, it's now canon that Homer assraped someone
jokie
wondering if a professional writer made a homophonic joke
Australia probes navy 'sex game'
wondering if whoever wrote that throwaway jokie knew that they were actually implying that Homer anally raped someone
Homer is found guilty of "attempted insecticide" and "aggravated buggery" and is sentenced to two hundred hours of community service
being named one of the world's hottest one hundred women by Men's Health, the magazine for men who haven't quite worked out that they're gay
Buggery in the Arse
Buggery in the UK
Julia Roberts's mescaline jaw
Julia Roberts's masculine jaw
James Pratt and John Smith
Sodomy in the UK
Jareth the Goblin King
Seigneurie d'Arse
Ass in the Commonwealth
slipping on the arse in front of your house and falling on your ice
not eating out Kento in the bathroom at church
jellyfish
telling a coworker that hobbits were 'basically midgets with hairy feet that liked to pork a lot'
telling a coworker that hobbits were 'basically midgets with hairy feet that liked to be a lot'
telling a coworker that hobbits were 'basically midgets with hairy feet that liked to eat a lot'
aggravated sodomy
slipping on the ice in front of your house and falling on your arse
taking the mightiest Jabba
mellified swanchovies
swanchovies
Kento's butt is a huge repository, Fort Cocks
vote o rama
manchovies
stripping log
girl toppings
Hayden Panettiere welcomes a girl topping for Kento in Feckless Fucks VII
forgetting to bring your rancor stun glue with you when you infiltrated Jabba's palace, if you know what I mean
forgetting to bring your rancor stun glue with you when you infiltrated Jabba's palace
a system called RANCOR STUN GLUE
a system called NOCTURNAL URGES
a system called NOCTURNAL SURGE like a snake through the tube
a system called NOCTURNAL SURGE
like a snake through the tube
Kento's butt is a huge repository
Kento's torn ham butt
a huge repository named TORN HAM BUTT
Lei ha piu un panino in tricheco
a huge repository named MUTANT BROTH
lei non ha piu un panino in corso
Hayden Panettiere welcomes a girl
topping for Kento in Feckless Fucks VII
rubbing one out for Mark Hamill in the bathroom at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
rubbing someone out for Mark Hamill in the bathroom at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
imagining Mark Hamill saying "nerd ogles tit" in a bedroom voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "I need to go potty" in a bathroom voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "toned gristle" in a bedroom voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "trendiest log" in a bedroom voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "let's git r done" in mouse voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "let's git r done" in a bathroom voice
imagining Mark Hamill saying "let's git r done" in a bedroom voice
wondering if Mark Hamill is the Celebrity Regretter
bottoming for Mark Hamill at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
pick a room at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, and let's git r done
great
I don't mind bottoming, less work for me
if this is Kento you're still bottoming though, and none of that power bottom nonsense
seriously though, birds do it, bees do it, something about a giraffe with fleas on a log doing it, let's do it, let's have sex and see where it goes
that also when I first thought of the penis braiding thing I didn't know how to braid, but as it turns out we're going to have to come up with a mutually acceptable third person
let braiding commence
I mean, I am pretty sure that you're doing a song lyric or film quote that doesn't google, but I have just reached that point in my life where this is about the best offer I'm going to get
I can live with that
I want to have sex with you if you if you want to love me
really hoping "Boner Aware Week" doesn't turn out to have been a term of Rachel abuse all along
setting up puppies for dangerous, uncritical acceptance of power structures
setting up children for dangerous, uncritical acceptance of power structures
purloining guys
really hoping "we were on a break" doesn't turn out to have been a term of Rachel abuse all along
really hoping "womp rat" doesn't turn out to have been a term of racial abuse all along
Purrloin didn't say no
You see, Purrloin's a guy
they're not much bigger than two metres
bullseyeing slim numb sandhogs in your Tsixteen back home
lubing sand so, hmm
slim numb sandhog, eh
slim numb sandhog
slim bushman dong
humbling damsons
blondish magnums
Ted Sallis
drawing a picture of Tim Duncan shambling Jewel's mounds
shambling mounds
nice Ford testes, eh, eh
that being short and awkward is some kind of wonderful gift
the deftness, cheerio
the confider seethes
the freshest codeine
Ghostbusters Awful Voice for twelve hours
the fiend's cheese rot
the reinfected shoes
the finessed trochee
the heroine's defects
the side of the screen
cleaning your clock
having your clock violated like that
wondering if there is an Irish dwarf named Manlet O'Hara
A Celebration of Paul Newman's Low Keyhole in the Wall Camps
A Celebration of Paul Newman's Keyhole in the Wall Camps
The Rape of Myke Lawke
you fuck a keyhole nonconsensually
that one scene even shows a crew member standing around on the side of the screen
using stolen hair as a bookmark in The Rape of the Lock while you fuck a keyhole nonconsensually
Roman Polanski's The Rape of the Lock
a spy spying a spider in the bath while barfing at a Ba'ath party party
using stolen hair as a bookmark in The Rape of the Lock
Fist O's
building up your problems to the size of a cow
a drone was able to come within feet of a passenger jet as it prepared to land at Heathrow Airport
an instrument expressing all motion
the children may have been portrayed as communists
BEHAVIOR OF AGEING ARCHEOLOGISTS UNDER CONDITIONS SIMULATING ENTRAPMENT IN REFRIGERATORS DURING NUCLEAR WAR
Bibleman
it was the fifties, they probably just proved they weren't communists
wondering how the grant committee reacted when the BEHAVIOR OF YOUNG CHILDREN UNDER CONDITIONS SIMULATING ENTRAPMENT IN REFRIGERATORS guys told them they wanted to lock kids in tiny spaces and see what they did
BEHAVIOR OF FAT GAY ASIANS UNDER CONDITIONS SIMULATING ENTRAPMENT IN REFRIGERATORS
BEHAVIOR OF YOUNG CHILDREN UNDER CONDITIONS SIMULATING ENTRAPMENT IN REFRIGERATORS
the newest update of firefox blocking every fucking plugin you had
fist cereal
the UK's fist cereal cafe, cheerios
Canadian Lap Rape, eh
the UK's fist cereal cafe
Canadian Burger King, eh
Canadian Apparel, Eh
Korean Air chief apologizes as daughter called in over nuts incident
Thai Human Zoo Shut Down After Rihanna Tweets About It
Burmese women in Thai 'human zoo'
being slain in Cream Corn Bay, om
being slain by a racer in common
man who bribed politicians threatens to cease offering bribes if politician he wants to bribe is not chosen
being slain by a cromniomancer
Web inventor Colon Internet colon porn is a 'basic human right'
the dog famously tried to trap the monster in a box, goading the beast with the phrase, "Here, lizard lizard lizard!", only to see Godzilla's size and respond, "Uh oh, I think I need a bigger box"
the enquiry found Hamilton guilty of taking "cash for questions"
Ukip's second biggest donor is threatening to withdraw his support unless former Tory MP Neil Hamilton is selected as a general election candidate
Offer Shlomi
Former TV pitchman accused of chasing owl in paraglider disrupts hearing
Web inventor Colon Internet porn is a 'basic human right'
Web inventor Colon Internet is a 'basic human right'
I had intended to write that, but forgot
the brood of angry men
led, the blood of angly men, brack, the dalk of ages past
making a barricade in the streets of Hong Kong
come on, oh, what's his name, I know who, don't tell me, oh, that's right, Toshi
Joe Jim Gregory
William James was the first psychologist to describe the tip of the tongue phenomenon, although he did not label it as such, because he could not think of an appropriate term
pulling a pantrum
baking my bike
first rate lapsus linguae
lapsus linguae
rolling over and murmuring "I love you, ADHD" to epilepsy
getting that sext from dysgrapghia, but, well, what was really the point
BILLY MAYS OUTS SELF AS 'CELEBRITY REGRETTER' ENDING YEARS OF SPECULATION BANG! AND THE SPECULATION IS GONE!
having phone sex with dyspraxia but thinking about dysgraphia the whole time
finding "having roofie sex with agentfiftyseven" in your autofill cache, but not quite remembering the chain of events that led to it
Billy Cosby Outs Self as 'agenty fiftyseven', Ending Years of Speculation
impregnating aphasia
fucking dyslexia
Billy Cosby
Billy Cosby Outs Self as 'Celebrity Regretter', Ending Years of Speculation
yup
You are a motherfucker aren't you
Navy declares laser weapons ready to protect ships in Persian Gulf
The license plate has the saying "NOHOMO," a slang phrase used when the speaker does not want to appear gay
according to early design notes, Gene Roddenberry intended Bajoran females to have eleven breasts and fourteen penises
braiding penises with director Roman Polanski and singer Michael Jackson
finally getting a low keyboard for your laptop
the expression on Hector's lanternfish at caudal peduncle
the "awesometastic" Age of Vampires se
cna't spell
the "waffletastic" Age of Empires seires
the "awesometastic" Age of Empires series
the really buggy, unstable updates of Chrome you seem to have been getting lately
Bing reading Dinosaur comics
Binge reading Dinosaur comics
destroying all your plants and your city in Age of Empires
lending your bees to a dishonest giant mutant bee science installation
a science installation where a scientist has bred giant mutant bees
a massive swarm of space locusts is detected heading towards Bajor, but the Bajoran people refuse to do anything about it because a prophecy has foretold that the locusts must destroy everything if Bajor is to survive
rubbing elbows with director Roman Polanski and singer Michael Jackson
Mufasa looking exactly like what you imagine a sexual predator would look like, unf
pumping the hugest breast
bottoming for Angus Beef in In Front of the Angus VII
Timothy Poole looking exactly like what you imagine a sexual predator would look like
finally getting a new keyboard for your laptop
Behind the Anus
There is also sexual dimorphism in the species, with males being larger, having a deeper caudal peduncle and a pronounced hump behind the anus
The Washington Redskins' Go F#ck Yourself Holiday Special
Aphrodite Kallipygos
Anasyrma
Heidi Creamer allegedly pumped her sister Holly's breasts during an argument Sunday in the apartment they share with Heidi's hairy beau
pumping Jewel's breasts
Heidi Creamer allegedly punched her sister Holly during an argument Sunday in the apartment they share with Heidi's hairy beau
New Jersey cops are seeking the public's help in identifying the Garden State Breast Pump Thief, BREAST PUMP
Heidi Creamer allegedly punched her sister Holly during an argument Sunday in the apartment they share with Heidi's beau
New Jersey cops are seeking the public's help in identifying the Garden State Breast Pump Thief, FIST PUMP
always thinking there was something shifty looking about that Braff fella
New Jersey cops are seeking the public's help in identifying the Garden State Breast Pump Thief
thinking that any porpoise which managed to get itself in an alleyway, in England or anywhere else, probably did fuck itself to death, but not the good way like you want
Walrus F#cks Kento to Death
A one hundred ten pound porpoise found dead and bloodied in an English alleyway appears to have died as you wish you lived
Porpoise F#cks Himself to Death
Dale Chihuly
Washington, Massachusetts
Florida, Massachusetts
Thank you and Molotov
giving your hairy beau haribo
liking your lembas bread like you like your travelling companions, chock full of hobbit pork
not realising until you heard yourself saying 'No mister Frodo! No! You know it tastes like lembas bread!' that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
only realising the joke was going too far when you heard yourself saying 'No mister Frodo! No! You know it tastes like lembas bread!'
A Celebration of Paul Newman's Hole
bottoming for Winston Smith in Hole Memory
bottoming for Robert Smith in Raw Anal Cure
A Celebration of Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Camps
you're about as easy as raw anal cure
Convicted sex offender wins $threeM Scratch Off prize the Ponce is forty three years old
you're about as easy as a nuclear war
Convicted sex offender wins $threeM Scratch Off prize
the Ponce is forty three years old
background
walkin' here
morning on the outskirts of town
before it's popular
being forced to climb a huge pile of small change that a man has made
furious moxibustion
Masturchusetts
the Eagle Tribune reported that police were investigating claims that two Andover High School basketball players were hazed by older team members into playing the game
wondering if anyone has had the idea to make a parody of Addicted to Love with all the Nurse Joys dancing in the background
soggy biscuits
There has been no scientific research conducted into whether oral ingestion of semen has an antidepressive effect, however, semen does contain several mood elevating compounds such as endorphins, estrone, prolactin, oxytocin, thyrotropin releasing hormone
Moxibustion
building an internet based Oracle of Manson, just to see how many serial killers and serial rapists Roman Polanski has a Manson Number of three or less for
Kento boning under Roman Polanski at New York University, I'm walkin' here
Kento boning under Roman Polanski at New York University
After leaving the Army, Alcala, who claims to have a "genius level" IQ, graduated from the UCLA School of Fine Arts and later studied Kento boning under Roman Polanski at New York University
being advised to go now and register kentoboneclass dot com, before it's popular
being advised to go now and register baconskeletons dot com, before it's popular
After leaving the Army, Alcala, who claims to have a "genius level" IQ, graduated from the UCLA School of Fine Arts and later studied film under Roman Polanski at New York University
liking Marvel movie villains like you like your wookiees, low key
Alcala won the contest, and a date with "bachelorette" Cheryl Bradshaw, who subsequently refused to go out with him, according to published reports, because she found him "creepy"
despite his status as a convicted rapist and registered sex offender, Alcala was accepted as a contestant on The Dating Game
becoming the owner of a lonely heart owning lonely hearts in a lonely hearts column
liking Marvel movie villains because they're low key
Lost sweatiest ass in the world found on streets of Boston
Lost geep in Christmas sweater found on streets of County Kildare
bathing a bothan in a bothy you're both in, eh
a weequay wooing a wookiee in a low key way
wooing a wookiee in a low key way
meeting a bothan in a bothy you're both in, eh
engaging in some friendly banter with a friendly bantha
encountering a 'hobbit of pork'
being slain by a frog of secrecy
enchanting a 'frog of secrecy'
encountering a 'battle of crecy'
encountering a 'frog of secrecy'
encountering a 'fog of secrecy'
a cheese lorry fire forced the closure of the carriageway
god damn motherfucker ratcockbreathed cat
that fucking cat
changing every instance of 'water boarding' on Wikipedia to 'Eiffel Towering' in a bid to achieve the infamy you so richly deserve in a world where a funny looking cat can earn fifty million dollars a year
Lost sheep in Christmas sweater found on streets of Omaha
we were impressed with the ancillary effectiveness of rectal infusion
Disney's Hobbit's Scents in Pork
Disney's Eel's Scents in Pork
Disney's Sickest Personnel
Will and Grace
In Which We Serve Two Colon With Whom She Did Arts and Crafts
Man dies after being impaled on railings in central London
Angelina Jolie sparks fury from Japan because of Unbroken depiction
Pokemon Kate & Wills
Disney's Pregnant Skeleton Princess
Disney's Skeleton Princess
Intentionally deceived, incredibly disappointed, mentally ill children with Disney fixation only people in the world actually excited to meet Duchess Kate
Mentally ill children with Disney fixation only people in the world actually excited to meet Duchess Kate
Mentally ill children only people in the world actually excited to meet Duchess Kate
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vegan, eh
While visiting Harlem's Northside Center for Child Development, an organization that provides mental health services and more, Duchess Kate was mistaken for a Disney princess by the children with whom she did arts and crafts
Very young birds are clad only in down
Report to comment on CIA torture tactics, Will and Kate touch down in New York City
fucking jerk and post it
inside of a gay porn, it's hard to grasp
Starbucking Kento
saying that Carpathia will become so popular that it will "rain blood"
ya me canse
Simbabucks
Mufasabucks
Scarbucks
a line of "premium coffee drinks" called "Grumppuccino", which has been launched this year
bottled spunk
finding a really specific trolly headline but not wanting to be a big fucking jerk and post it
saying that Fairlife will become so popular that it will "rain money"
drinking what she's wearing
Sfarbucks
yeah, Kento wrote it
inside of a gay porn, it's too dark to read
suspecting that Kento wrote fivefivethreezerosix because it is the only way he could possibly get laid outside of a gay porn
scarfucking Kento
wristfucking Kento
fistfucking Kento
facefucking Kento
assfucking Kento
voting haven't done it yet on fivefivethreezerosix, hint hint
sororityricide
fratricide
delaying the Korean Airplane! and not calling me NutRageous
baby you can make my day
waiting too long
stabilising your vegan waffles with wafflemastic
the bladder of Raul Julia
eating Raoul
'NutRageous' delayed Korean Air plane
'Nut rage' delayed Korean Air plane
MP Nigel Mills said he would 'try not to' play Candy Crush during Parliamentary committee meetings in the future
reading gaol
reading sith
wondering if you like movies about gladiators
wondering if you've ever been in a Turkish prison
reading shit
George Beard and Harold Hutchins, two mischievous fourth graders, find things quickly spiral out of control when their favorite superhero, Captain Rape Stud NN, magically springs to life from the pages of a comic book
Pink Pineapple produced nine Rapeman live action feature films
George Beard and Harold Hutchins, two mischievous fourth graders, find things quickly spiral out of control when their favorite superhero, Captain Rape, magically springs to life from the pages of a comic book
George Beard and Harold Hutchins, two mischievous fourth graders, find things quickly spiral out of control when their favorite superhero, Captain Underpants, magically springs to life from the pages of a comic book
he was probably the one who called the Swiss police that one time
Morrissey probably wouldn't be able to stomach working on a project with a meat eater
being kind of amazed that Roman Polanski hasn't asked Morrissey to collaborate with him on a project yet
Morrissey stated that he believed there is no difference between eating animals and paedophilia
occasionally freebasing agave syrup
insulting lines of vegan cocaine
vegan cocaine, of course
imagining Bono and Morrisey just hanging out snorting top shelf cocaine out of top shelf hookers' assholes, giggling as they think up new lines to use to insult the general public
wondering if Morrisey really cares about British life after emigrating to Switzerland for tax purposes
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge Is A 'Rancid Twat' And Pippa Middleton Is A 'Hindi Hike Car,' According To Morrissey
BMX Bandits
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge Is An 'Airhead' And Pippa Middleton Is A 'Thickwit,' According To Morrissey
Roman Polanski's star on the Child Rapist Walk of Fame was vandalized on Friday with the word "analrapist" written over it
Bill Cosby's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized on Friday with the word "analrapist" written over it
starting a prison supergroup with Ian Watkins, Gary Glitter, Peter McNeal and Chuck Berry, and just needing a catchy name for it
say what you want about rape reply mutts, but they're still cheaper and better behaved than cruel anal labs
you can't convict people of crimes unless they've committed them
A former drummer in US alternative rock band Cake has been sentenced to fifteen years to life in state prison for being in a band with a rape reply mutt
wondering why nobody at the trial stopped him
Peter Ivan McNeal was found guilty of one felony count of oral copulation and sexual penetration with a three year old during his retrial in Los Angeles last Monday
A former drummer in US alternative rock band Cake has been sentenced to fifteen years to life in state prison for being in a band with a trumpet player
A former drummer in US alternative rock band Cake has been sentenced to fifteen years to life in state prison for molesting a three year old girl
North Korea Says It Isn't Responsible For 'Tubular' Sony Hacking
North Korea Says It Isn't Responsible For 'Righteous' Sony Hacking
Bill Cosby's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized on Friday with the word "therapist" written over it
A man dressed as the superhero Captain Lump stands outside a conference room used by the Climate Change Conference in Pirate Lane
Bill Cosby's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized on Friday with the word "rapist" written over it
A man dressed as the superhero Maple Incarnate stands outside a conference room used by the Climate Change Conference in a pulpit
A man dressed as the superhero Captain Rape stands outside a conference room used by the Climate Change Conference in peanut mill
A man dressed as the superhero Captain Planet stands outside a conference room used by the Climate Change Conference in Lima, Peru
putting beef on your bust, err, eating roast beef off of your own boobs
putting tubers on your spelling b, T U B E R S, tubers
putting beef on your bust, err
putting tubers on your free b
nothing can eat done
nothing can be done
putting your rubbers on your feet
wondering what it is with Hyatts and evacuations lately
killing for Mark Hamill at the Rosemont Hyatt, near the kid grooming trade show, this Sunday at one in the afternoon
grooming all those kids online
spooning all those boobs online
Ms Pantyants
walkie talkies don't count as two presents
Mr Partypants
grooming all those dogs online
not becoming nauseous at a furry convention but claiming to be nauseous when you heard they were evacuating to the dog show
killing for Mark Hamill at the Rosemont Hyatt, near the dog grooming trade show, this Sunday at one in the afternoon
becoming nauseous at a furry convention
getting a Winnipegging from a Filipino trannie hooker in the dumpster behind the emergency center
Suspected chlorine gas attack forces "furry" convention to evacuate
Filipino Winnipeggers scramble to contact family after typhoon
hearing slap slap slapping sounds in the showers at Mason's Pool Hall
spooning unconsciously when boobs are anywhere near
Penistone Fats
tooting unconsciously when danger is anywhere near
playing Bottersnikes and Gumbles with Tim Duncan
Minnesota Fats
it's modern times, everyone's doing it
not realizing until you had wasted thirty six hours that when your new ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
executing the PITY maneuver
mid afternoon
high tide
Barney Bottersnike
Bottersnikes and Gumbles
seraphically free from taint of personality
cinnamon
Homer manages to convince the demon to relinquish the bargain in return for Homer to reluctantly engage in three way sex with him and another demon
Homer
I would leave you my number but I'm just a hologram and shit
shooting for the d in a game of horsedick
wondering if Gary Glitter tried to coast on his fame in prison, perhaps by attempting to assign an arbitrarily higher value to his jenkem in trades
wondering how many palms Gary Glitter tried to grease with his dong to get into prison
wondering how many palms Gary Glitter tried to grease with his dong to get out of prison
never touching and handling babies as an object
never touching and handling objects as a baby
Viet Nam Prison Shit
taking the sparkliest dump
The Defecation of Gary Glitter
The Execution of Gary Glitter
Noone wants to fuck young girls!
the theme from the Great Escape starting to play in your head whenever you hear the charging beep of an Android phone
maybe we should talk about healthier things
chastising the media for figuratively raping a girl when YOU LITERALLY RAPED A GIRL
suing Roman Polanski for insinuating that while he is a convicted rapist and pedophile, the only difference between you is that you have not been convicted
Everyone wants to fuck young girls!
Juries want to fuck young girls
Judges want to fuck young girls
feeling that you would have sided with Lords Slynn and Carswell, then remembering that you wrote both "drinking champagne out of a twink anus" and "drinking champagne out of a chimp anus" and thinking well, great, even the very stupid have opinions
feeling that you would have sided with Lords Slynn and Carswell
In a case notable for the absence of its key witnesses, Polanski made legal history by becoming the first claimant in a libel trial to give evidence by videolink
The Vanity Fair editor, Graydon Carter, who was in court throughout the trial, said he found it "amazing" that "a man who lives in France can sue a magazine published in America in a British court"
Polanski v Conde Nast Publications Ltd
not being certain, but suspecting that a convicted criminal and fugitive cannot bring a suit for defamation in the English courts
wondering if Roman Polanski is going to cite Butts in his argument against us
Heathcliff
Garfield
drinking champagne out of a twink anus
watching a gay softcore porn set in a British boarding school butt
every time the shaven Nordic twink is laid in remoulade
every time the shaven Nordic twink is paid in remoulade
watching two guys argue over whether a third person who is not present or involved in their argument is correct to write off Batman as an ineffective, violent vigilante
digitally replacing George Fuckass in Poopers, Please with George Lickass
being prone to eating bichak canapes
George Lickass
Lucas Lucas
George Pope
Fuckass Fuckass
George Fuckass
Fuckass Pope
bottoming for Fuckass Pope in Poopers, Please VII
Papers, Please
watching a gay softcore porn set in a British boarding school but performed in Danish in which you are taken out of the action every time the shaven Nordic twink is paid in remoulade
getting a job as a security guard on a gay softcore porn location shoot
watching a gay softcore porn set in a British boarding school
Obama Goes To Hospital For Sore Throat being prone something something black cocks
Obama Goes To Hospital For Sore Throat
being prone something something black cocks
being prone to wearing black capes
mmmm, mellified swan
mellified swan
mellified man
New Motive Power
N rays
day release hallucinations
sexual release hallucinations
visual release hallucinations
Webdriver Torso
smoking Butts
sacking Butts
porking Butts
thinking that your major problem with literature has always been how quickly you begin to find characters and styles fucking tedious
the woodcutter and his children scrounged off the state until their benefits were scrapped, the bastard immigrant scum
referring to Butts in your closing argument
schatzoekers
It's official colon America is now number two
having heard you liked mudkipsing
zut alors
strewth
mudkipsing
mudballing
wondering if there's a butt version of snowballing and, if so, what it's called
passing from Butts to Butts
Butts was a proponent of the passing game in an era of "three yards and a cloud of dust"
Many members of the Butts family have gone on to support the University of Georgia
handling the briefs for Butts
The court ruled in favor of Butts
Curtis Publishing Co v Butts
pig pert
arnie decoy
pert decoy
ten pin stoicism
penis tonic mist
it comes in pints
cree dot py
'Thinnest man in fatworld' dies of malnutrition age forty four
'Asianest man in the world' dies at age forty four
'Gayest man in the world' dies at age forty four
'Fattest man in the world' dies at age forty four
Chris Lydon's massive, rubbery, snakelike poo
a motor sled designed for Grand Duke Cyril of Russia
Police are hunting a man captured on CCTV seemingly using an elaborate form of distraction to steal a large sum of cash
wondering whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, be alive or dead as of this morning, and have to wait thirty six hours to grind his bones to make your bread, fee fi fo fum
he who takes the hugest dump should be careful that he does not himself become a dump
the Swiss Family Frankenstein
when you gaze long into a toilet the toilet also gazes into you
your toilet you can stare back at it
a semi naked hostage victim who was twice fired at by a police sergeant as he tried to escape his captors
a polymerising agent that turns your faeces into something like a plastic, so that when a massive rubbery poo snake slithers into your toilet you can stare back at it
Cringe Epic Police Chase
Mavin Knob Coffins
sICInnOFmfkaBOvn
wondering whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, be alive or dead as of this morning, and have to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
wondering why men be all like zombies at the mall
wondering where all the white women at
wondering where you really at
well, that's enough, I've got a big day ahead of me, drinking wine and eating snails and surrendering, I'll talk to you later, good luck with the perpetual erection thing
inside of a kid it's too dark to read
inside of France, it's too dark to read
true
outside of France
if I'm not in France, where am I
ironically if you were a walrus, being a priapic insomniac would make you a big success
not being sure if you don't believe I'm in France even though I'm clearly in the UK or if someone else also doesn't believe you are in France
buying some mistletoe from a French cheese stall at a Christmas market
another site frequented only by a priapic insomniac
ba dum TISH
I surrender
I don't believe you're in France, either
you're going to have to do something French to prove it
I just don't believe you're in France
reading wikipedia at seven in the morning and copying them to another site frequented only by a priapic insomniac
business class cunt lapping
Maize reproduces sexually each year
fist ass lounge priapism miley cyrus seo
fist ass lounge priapism
carbeater seals
Fagopyrum tataricum
X Men Colon First Class Lounge Priapism
first class cunt lapping
finding the rum balls your godfather used to occasionally bring you when you were a small child and discovering that they taste appalling
remembering the rum balls your old girlfriend used to make at Christmas and really wanting some
the more you tighten your grip, the more grains of coke will slip out of your nostril
dropping your iPecker, cheeriow
I pecker, ow
getting a job as Carrie Fisher's coke wiper
coke wiper
I told you I'm out of noodles
wok recipe
piecework
wondering whether you have a job
first class lounge priapism
having had priapism since puberty
terminal priapism
having been an insomniac since puberty
always being up at five in the morning, because of your clinical priapism
wondering what you were doing up at five in the morning
crabeater seals
I regret the crushing futility of your so called future
I regret that too
anuse is what the kids are saying these days
also the crushing futility of my so called future
anuse
URWIN
wondering what YOUR biggest regret is
fisting bottom regrets arse ass anuse miley cyrus seo
nobody regrets that
one of these days the randomizer will give it to me, and I'll be able to knock it off the bottom regrets list
fisting Go Ikeda
wondering what your biggest regret is
sorry about that
all walrus penis bones belong to Kento
all of them Kento's
male walruses possess a large baculum, the largest of any land mammal, both in absolute size and relative to body size
possibly hundreds
there are literally dozens of videos on youtube of autofellating walruses
being pretty horrified just by that video of the autofellating walrus that used to get posted in the comments
that's true, and it also reinforces the "my life has problems, but at least I'm not Kento, getting assfucked by a two ton marine mammal" appeal of the site
goochers
gooners
I guess it saves us having to talk about ourselves or reveal too much about our inner frustrations, which are presumably what drive us to continually post on a site about regrets
none of the jokes are particularly clever or well thought out, and it's not like we have a higher purpose
I mean, it's not like you've ever met Kento, and he hardly even ever comes around here any more, and guessing that, in the event you actually saw a walrus fucking a man, you wouldn't laugh and would be horrified
getting ass fucked by a walrus over and over and over again
I was honestly going to ask if you knew that
wondering what it is that compels you to make jokes about a man getting ass fucked by a walrus over and over and over again
Rubus spectabilis
Conquest of the Planet of the ARSE
he's got some in the back, unless Chris Lydon felt like switching positions for a change
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes up his cold, dead butt
asking your local fat gay asian if he's got some in back
really wanting a Torre Eiffel but not even knowing where you get carne de morsa
Dismount Gay Rum
Mount Gay Rum
really wanting some burritos but not even knowing where you get carne de burro
so I understand
it's six in the morning where I am, in France
being all out of noodles
really wanting some burritos but not wanting to heat up a microwave and open the freezer at five in the morning
really wanting some churros but not wanting to heat up a bunch of oil and make the batter at five in the morning
Conquistadores del Pinata de los Churros
Conquistadores del Planeta de los Ques
Conquest of the Planet of the QUEUES
Conquest of the Planet of the Peas
Sexual Conquest of the Planet of the Rapes
each other
Sexual Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
up his cold, dead butt
drawing a picture of a chimpanzee shoving Charlton Heston's rifle up his cold, dead butt
The producers of the Planet of the Apes franchise stated that the riots were the inspiration for the ape uprising in the film Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
wondering if Prince William was ever Big Benned by Barry White and Jimmy Savile, and, if so, whether distributing a video of said Big Benning would now be against the law in the UK, cheerio
wondering if Prince William and Jimmy Savile ever had sex with each other
drawing a picture of a chimpanzee taking Charlton Heston's rifle from his cold, dead hands
wondering if Prince William and Barry White ever had sex with each other
wondering if Prince and Barry White ever had sex with each other
wondering if Prince and Cilla Black ever had sex with each other
wondering if Prince and Janet Jackson ever had sex with each other
paving the way for blowing it up, you maniacs, god damn you, damn you all to hell
chimpanzees are not farty mccrablice, no
Chimpanzees Are Not Legal Persons, COURT RULES!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
the death of a stickleback's roe, yum
the death of Skye McCole Bartusiak
chimpanzees are not farty mccrablice
the king of queens, sack of the brain
the king of brains, queen of the sack
Chimpanzees Are Not Legal Persons, Court Sucks
people try to put us d down, just because we dress like c clowns, fucking magnets how do they work
chimpanzees are not good lawyers
it probably never legal
Chimpanzees Are Not Legal Persons, Court Rules
wondering if it legal to draw those pictures of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in the UK now
in certain directions human intercourse had advanced enormously analbuminemia
in certain directions human intercourse had advanced enormously
analbuminemia
being kept in a dumb waiter
a penis is a warm gun
The dildo can also be used as a weapon, although the inflicted damage is limited
Female ejaculation, Strangulation, Facesitting, Fisting, cheerio
Spanking, Caning, Aggressive whipping, Penetration by any object "associated with violence," Physical or verbal abuse, Urolagnia, "Role playing as non adults," Physical restraint
the death of a dog ego
the death of a kid ego
political maso sadism
the death of Go Ikeda
I lost my father to eiffel death
eiffel death
I lost my father to Candy Crush
The Lion, the Witch, and the Bizarre, Striated, Earthwormlike Penis
Aslan Lydon
knowing walrus
probably wanting kento
great game
girls sleep
penis family
much half way
white hawke
milk kid letting dump
playing things
Colon Ass Love Actually
sex girl dead
Keira Knightley Colon Ass Love Actually Is the Greatest Movie Ever Made
fat fucking today
wearing walrus food
picture life
able drinking
actually bottoming
wearing food
guys imagining black times
Ikeda Facebook
hugest behind comments
probably wanting
Lydon around
hair swans
new colon feeling
someone index making something thinking
french vagina
music balls
remembering movie talking
Dogs Polanski
Ass Love Actually
really getting kento regret
gay years
i dot imgur dot com slash LpTdEfh dot png
wondering whether ryan north of dinosaur comics and project wonderful fame was the self declared Celebrity Regretter all along
taking your cruel anal lab back to the pound where you got it, but they would only let you trade it for an anal monster chow
wanting to make Kento anal rag man for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an analgram for his birthday
wondering whether are more rapagrams or more analgrams
Man's colon wreath grows Movember moustache
Anal chow monster grows Movember moustache
No anal screw moth grows Movember moustache
Lawman consort grows Movember moustache
Ornamental chows grow Movember moustaches
A snowman grows Movember moustache, chortle
Horncastle woman grows Movember moustache, cheerio
a crippling cyberattack against Sony Pictures Entertainment was probably the work of North Korea
Horncastle woman grows Movember moustache
Winona State student trapped in dumbwaiter
Samantha, the Potter books open a doorway that will put untold MILLIONS of kids into hell
wishing there was a crossover episode of BJ and the Bear and Jake and the Fatman
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
J Michael Straczynski
Tara Lipinski
Romulan Polanski
Ramen Polanski
building an android capable of independent thought and action, then naming it Roman
building an android capable of independent thought and action, then naming it Norman
Soong type handroids
failing to come with a FULLY FUNCTIONAL hand job robot
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable three breasted counselor
failing to come up with a sweaty assed third person
the ass is sweatier on the other side
humping Richard III
the grass is greener on the other side
sucking on her FULLY FUNCTIONAL middle one
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Cecily Neville
licking DNA remoulade off of Richard III's erect penis
eating that whole thing of Richard III's DNA and puking in bed
disinterring Richard III's corspe and surpsising the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated young boys
bottoming for DNA in Surpsise Me VII
Infidelity Surpsise with Cilla Black Prince
throwing up Richard's DNA in Infidelity Surprise III
Richard III's DNA throws up infidelity surprise
shooting his left one until he had an eyegasm
it's a booob
that's no boob
sucking her center one until she had a breastgasm, Number One
sucking her center one until she had a breastgasm
sucking her right one until she had a breastgasm
just the left one
taking the hugest dump on Jewel's boobs until she had a breastgasm
taking the hugest dump on Jewel's boobs
licking Danish remoulade off of Jewel's erect boobs
spanning Jewel's boobs
always two there are, no more, no less
oval rowan fuse
group siths
Temple University Center for Rape Studies
Euro Flava Snow
UVA Center for Rape Studies
group shits
seven men and four women shitting naked in a shallow pool of water
like two dozen truckers from now
seven men from now
a magazine cum catalog
seven men and four women sitting naked in a shallow pool of water
Please consider putting in some penises
no, one was enough
if you like I could post another fairy tale
MOOSE, ICE HOCKEY, CHIVALRY, GROUP SEX & MORE
that's nice
chancellor originally denoted a servant guarding the entrance to an official's study
suaver flan woo
or perhaps it is a eunuch
there's at least one other person here then, the one who said she didn't have a penis when you propositioned her
you won't even braid your penis with mine and now you're asking for anal weaving, forget it, pal
novae of walrus
let's weave our anal fur together
lava nurse, woof
anal fur, wove so
wondering why we're focusing on this
wan suaver fool
raw venous foal
fouler swan ova
wondering if you ever find yourself thinking up Kento jokes for like two other people and possibly some imaginary ones while you're supposed to be doing something else, because I totally never do that
vowing to participate in Unsafe Oral Mondays
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want to fertilize your ova, he meant it
unsafe oral vow
thinking that we would literally have nothing to talk about if not for Kento, and the site would have died in under six months
slow vore fauna
ova refusal now
wondering if the Kento thing is a joke or if we really hate him
anus flavor woe
bottoming for Valenthyne Farfalla in Bothan Boners VII
a ravenous fowl
One Hundred and One Sith Jokes and Bothan Boners
sauna overflow
it's a book of shambolic humour
a ravenous wolf
wondering if the finch thing is the joke, because you wonder what kind of book would publish that shit
strictly off the record, I'd like to be off the record
I have no idea why
I don't think Kento come around here no more
the only person being smothered here is Kento, under the awesome bulk of a huge bull walrus as it anally penetrates him
it's bad because it's fairly involved and you need to know about the noises specific breeds of finch make
the other person, not the finches
what if I already smothered them
you can put small tropical finches in a garbage can to make an RtwoDtwo for little children to play with
no one is smothering anyone
there are only like three people here anymore
somebody probably does, which again, brings us back to I'm thinking of quitting this place because I feel simultaneously like I'm smothering someone and being smothered by them, even though they may or may not be real
just word it differently
being a sith joke machine
unless you already do
then you'll know what my twitter is
just to tell
so, just to tell the damn joke
being a shit joke machine
I never understood what people saw in that either
humour, cheerio
if it's the "hard to grasp" thing, I don't think you'd be getting any royalties even if you did own it
humour
not even being sure you own the joke any more
so, in order to follow the Law of Conservation of Humour, whenever you post a joke in one place you have to delete it somewhere else
I would if I could delete it somehow
tell it to me and I'll tell you if I laugh
Christopher Lydon's Compulsion
bookshops and online retailers alike do sell to people
having one line in a jokebook that you never thought was that funny to begin with
Christopher Lydon's Insertion
technically being a published author in a real actual book that bookshops and online retailers alike do sell to people
Christopher Lydon's Erection
Christopher Lydon's Conniption
this is now difficult to interpret
waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic waffletastic
conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption conniption
Christopher Nolan's Conniption
having a conniption about a conniption
having a conniption
I don't even know why I'm laughing at that
penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis
wishing someone would just kill you with a wink of their eye
fffffffasddddddddewrewwwwwwwwww
aggrandizing things
not getting that gig with the World Bank in Angola
the chimp anus is too plain
the chimp anus is optional
this won't last for long not forever and the champagne makes it taste so much better
you should have seen the heartfelt rant I worked out and thought better of, only you shouldn't have, good god no
my feeelings are stupid and I apologize for having revealed them
that has to be the least convincing Spambot impersonation yet, I'm not even going to try and decode it
the biter script reader
asdfhdstreworewcwecwea
the bitter script reader
wondering if Scotty ever canonically chinned anybody
you're no best pleased, I'll chin ye
Shirley Bellows
when Shirley Bassey bellows it, it sounds classy, but when you write it down, it's just creepy
I could show you a good time, let me show you a good time
sometimes thinking you're always kind of down in winter and wondering if you have SAD, but then feeling like a cock, a fraud, and a hypochondriac walked into a bar, and you are the punchline
there was one letter short, but I should have dumped the comma rather than the t
being super glad you never had the patience for Facebook
betting that in three years nobody has got the Louis Prima reference in your bio
you're no best pleased
it's not like there's anywhere else but down
not really going to do it, just thinking about it
actually thinking you might quit the amazing Regret Index, because you made the mistake of reading back through some of the things you've written here over the years and tried to imagine them from the perspective of someone else and you're no best pleased
bottoming for two dozen truckers in Giant Fuckoff Chunks VII
bottoming for like two dozen truckers in Big Big Love VII
big big love
thinking you might quit Twitter because it's really just people shouting at each other, but then thinking, well yeah, but isn't that what life is, and also, you do kind of like some of them, and you are kind of a quitter, for fuck's sake grow a pair
in giant fuckoff chunks
people in your timeline literally posting the script to Closer
bastardizing the vegans
pasteurizing the vegans
homogenising the vegans, no homo
homogenising the vegans
wondering whether the vegans will get around to completing their army of robotised soy cocks before or after the Hand Job Robot apocalypse
a journal called Ryan's Story with "torso disobeys cock" on the front
he's the best at hire blowing many
a journal called Ryan's Story with robotised soy cocks on the front
a journal called Ryan's Story with Scooby Doo stickers on the front
Under the terms of Cosby's game, plaintiff was required to consume a beer every time Cosby won a game
he's the best at blowing hairy men
the very idea that Kento would ever be the best at anything
imagining like two dozen recently fellated truckers gathered in a room heatedly debating who gave the best BJ, and, after four hours of excrutiating deliberation, finally agreeing that Kento was the best
gayspace is three dimensional, with a z axis composed of Stephen Fry to Vegan Harvey Cream
thinking that in addition to the bear hyphen twink axis, there should be a second Chris Lydon hyphen walrus axis, enabling each gay man to occupy a set of coordinants in gayspace
Snow White and the Swan Lady Truckers
feeding twinkies to a bear
he's more walrus now than bear
wondering where Kento fits on the bear hyphen twink spectrum, because even though he's fat he's far from macho
winning Best BJ from a bear at a truckstop with seventeen snowballs
winning Best BJ from a bear at a truckstop with seventeen votes
winning Best BJ from a bear at a truckstop
trucking seven ladies
they just loved the idea of seven lady truckers
Snow White And The Seven Lady Truckers
BJ And The Seven Lady Truckers
that's what Bear said
Greg Evigan is full of spunk
bottling Greg Evigan
bottoming for Greg Vegan I and Paul Riser in My Two Nads VII
that google image searching Greg Evigan provides a hilarious parade of eighties shirtless hairy chests
I just like the sound of it
Erect Penis Third Person Shoe Trope Geldof
drinking Greg Evian
all of those are actually human names, or fairly close to human names
that's way too normal
Ronald Gregg Evigan Geldof
Ronald Gregg Evigan
Shoe Evigan
vegan Greg Evigan
I'm so sorry
it's a glass joke
handblowing a Canadian, eh
sandpapering a Canadian, eh
backbaconing a Canadian, eh
backboning a vertebrate
invertebrates really wanting some chocolate but thinking no, that's stupid, it's December, you're basically going to overeat for the next couple of weeks anyway, you don't want chocolate, but you doooo, ack! tit rush seats
shafting a miner
boning an invertebrate
invertebrates
really wanting some chocolate but thinking no, that's stupid, it's December, you're basically going to overeat for the next couple of weeks anyway, you don't want chocolate, but you doooo, ack! tit rush seats
accidentally mousing over the menu bars of a wikia wiki and feeling like you turned over a stone hiding tens of thousands of invertebrates
really wanting some chocolate but thinking no, that's stupid, it's December, you're basically going to overeat for the next couple of weeks anyway, you don't want chocolate, but you doooo, ack!
tit rush seats
going to the Artsiest Tush in the World world premiere with Bicoid Babe
artsiest tush
utter ass shit
watching Greg Evigan with Greg Dyke, OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit
Greg Dyke
choking on ya rat's dick
choking on a feral dick
choking on a TAME dick
choking on a stray dick
choking on a stray pubic hair
Amazon deploys fleet of robotic 'elves'
shitting yourself in the showers at Penn State
shitting yourself in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
shitting yourself with Eyes Wide Shut
shitting yourself with your mouth wide open
Shoe Skywalker
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker tearfully having his big bowl of sand taken away from him by a very grumpy Master Obi Wan
I don't like sand, it's coarse and rough and irritating and a terrible emetic
barf on my my boobs like you did at the lake on Naboo
barfing boob sand, eh, oy
Rabbi Bong of Sand, eh, oy
boobs and barfing, eh
boobs and barfing, oy
a threesome that was derailed when two of the men began fighting over which one of them was the highest paid escort slamming your electroluminescent electrum god penis into your boobs and barfing, oy
quitting The Police department and getting yourself a lick job
quitting The Police department and getting yourself a steady job
quitting the police department and getting yourself a steady job
I softly call you over, when you appear there's nothing left of you, aha
I'm reaching out for something, touching nothing is all I ever do
My dreams are getting so strange I'd like to tell you everything I see
it's been getting so hard living with the things you do to me, aha
My Chemical Toilet
a threesome that was derailed when two of the men began fighting over which one of them was the highest paid escort
slamming your electroluminescent electrum god penis into your boobs and barfing, oy
it is her el penis
it is prehensile
the very notion that Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated earthwormlike penis could be rolled up
rolling up your penis, Chris
dran a ctur of Knto bn ffl Tord by Crs Lydon and a alrus
a alf dozn kys on your kyboard brakn at t sam tm
packing up your tento, Kento
making a new plan, Stan
cracking bright
for example, getting wise instead of bright when trying to remember the lyrics to a song
not feeling witty or on point, or for that matter, pretty oh so pretty or wise at all lately
That's No Moon River Bottom Phoenix Geldof
that's no Moon River, it's a Space Station River
Moon River, nipping on your nose
goot
not realising that Hayden Christensen had gout, let alone that there was a song aboot it
the way that "Halfwit Gout, Eh" sounds amazing when you hear it done by a folk covers band
wishing you'd got a Colon German Shepherd instead of Snooki
the way that "I Fought the Law" sounds amazing when you hear it done by a folk covers band
wishing you'd got a Colon German Shepherd instead of a Cruel Anal Lab
killing Snooki
marrying Snooki
Hominid Courage Colon German Shepherd Takes Bullet for Family, Saves Dogs
Canine Courage Colon German Shepherd Takes Bullet for Family, Saves Kids
the way that Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire sounds a lot like Moon River when you hear some cheesey harmonica version playing through a store's speakers
really wanting to say AB but always being drawn back to NP, letting x equal A plus Aone and y equal A plus Atwo, and by the way, screw you, MB
really wanting to say AB but always being drawn back to NP, letting x equal A plus Aone and y equal A plus Atwo
keeping your ejaculate in ejaculatins
anagrammar
you bath takin' underpants wearin' lily hugger
freezing a tableau of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in carbonite
the thought of slowly ejaculating for a thounsand years being strangely erotic
In his scrotum you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly ejaculated for a thounsand years
being swallowed by Chris Lydon's bizarre, burrowing, sarlacclike penis
Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, dianogalike penis shooting first
digitally replacing the ghost of Chet Meatsack in the end of Fat Gay Asians VII with Hayden Christensen
begun, the Eiffel Towering has
theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Kento Ikeda stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and was immediately Eiffel Towered by himself and himself
it's too big to be an asshole
wondering who Kento would rather be Eiffel Towered by, two clones of himself or two time travelling versions of himself
that's no moon, that's an asshole
this fully armed and operational fat gay asian
it just impacted on the surface
negative, it didn't go in
operating on Kento, if you know what I BZZZZZZZT
drawing a picture of Luke, Wedge, Biggs, and Porkins making a trench run on Kento
BZZZZZZZT
you used to remove funny bones from Womp Rats in your Tsixteen back home, they're not much bigger than three BZZZZZZZT
trending on social media
seeing how many could lick in an hour, and then trying to break that record
that thing's areola point!
that thing's operational!
having your reasons
Taylor Lianne Chandler
wondering how much a professional anagrammist gets paid
spending every day for the better part of a year doing nothing but eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to photos of your ex from fives years ago, deciding to look for a job and continue your life, but never actually doing it
spending every day for the better part of a year doing nothing but sleeping and sitting at your PC, deciding to look for a job and continue your life, but never actually doing it
getting Rough Sex Monday's Vegan Jack Daniels and Coke Buckyball Grill Big Rebecca Black Myke Hawke Platter
getting Rough Sex Monday's Jack Daniels Buckyball Grill Big Rebecca Black Myke Hawke Platter
getting Friday's Jack Daniels Diamond Grill Big Rebecca Black Myke Hawke Platter
getting Friday's Jack Daniels Grill Big Rebecca Black Myke Hawke Platter
getting Friday's Jack Daniels Grill Big Rebecca Black Cock Platter
getting Friday's Jack Daniels Grill Big Black Cock Platter
Big Black Cocks Platter Friday
putting some meat on your package
putting some meat on your bones
drawing a picture of the proper names of pop singers being Eiffel Towered by Simply Red and Maroon Five
Spermy Lid
Big Black Cock Splatter Friday
Idly Sperm
Big Black Cocks Matter Friday
Simply Red
just now getting that the name "Simply Red" was because the guy had red hair
network collapse
hipster Bonos
hipster buboes
Kento "Three Cock Mouth" Ikeda
Big Black Cock Radio Two
the bizarre incongruity of Snoop Dogg being played on BBC Radio Two
hipster hobos
not being sure if this guy you just saw is cos playing Doctor Who or just wearing a cheap fez and nasty long coat because that's how he dresses
i dot imgur dot com CkCiVvsix dot jpg
eating that whole thing of lemon basil chicken pasta and cumming in bed
making lemon basil swan pasta that was so good you almost cummed long swan knots, hoo
making lemon basil pelican pasta that was so good you almost cummed long chicken knots, eh
making lemon basil chicken pasta that was so good you almost cummed long pelican knots, eh
making lemon party pasta that was so good your guests all thoroughly enjoyed themselves, thanks, timingyomarinaraservices dot com
making nice blackish melon pasta that was so good you almost cummed
making lemon lesbian chick pasta that was so good you almost cummed
which, in Kento's case, is literally true
making vegan lemon basil chicken pasta that was so good you almost cummed
it's like there's a gangbang in your mouth and everybody's cumming
making lemon basil chicken pasta that was so good you almost cummed
long pelican knots, eh
Rebecca Black Friday
Black Lives Matter Friday Geldof
the Spanking Colonel
being the partially unwrapped package damaged in transit
Dark Matter Friday
Black Lives Matter Friday
eating the whole package of kimchee and puking in bed
eating the whole package
being the whole package
Mrs Extraordinary Dash Rendar Geldof
Extraordinary Dash Rendar Geldof
when American singer Selena was held
when American singer Selena was thrilled
when American singer Selena was kissed
when American singer Selena was killed
Extraordinary Dash Rendar
production of the Pixar film Toy Story was nearly shut down due to negative reception to the reel by the Disney executives
an event in nineteen ninety two where the screenplay for Aladdin was entirely rewritten by Jeffrey Katzenberg's order
the Haymarket affair
Star Trek Colon Attack Wing
three men were arrested and a little lady was hit by a falling television
they probably called it vendredi noir, so you may not have realized it was happening
mais oui bien sur
I'm talking about here in France, where I live, obviously
not even remembering ever hearing the term Black Friday before you were an adult, but apparently it goes back a long way
it seems to be new
not even realizing that Black Friday was a thing in the UK, cheerio
three men were arrested and a baby was hit by a falling television
not even realizing that Black Friday was a thing in the UK
three men were arrested and a woman was hit by a falling television
Carrie Fisher sending regular anonymous parcels of sand to Hayden Christensen, just for laughs
Darth Rash
Jabba the Hutt sending regular anonymous parcels of sand to Darth Vader, just for laughs
Darned Rash
wondering how fast the Empire would have fallen if the Rebellion had managed to recruit Harder Sand
the fact that Han Solo was frozen in carbonite at the time is literally the only reason Dash Rendar exists
honestly not seeing the point of Dash Rendar as a character, since he seems to be a third rate Han Solo, and not understanding why Palpatine didn't just have his entire family killed
actually laughing out loud at that one
no means nonononononononononono
wedding Paras, the whorekemon
Harder Sand
Dash Rendar
Slick Grey Fig
Siggy Flicker
that we've reached the point where there are enough anagram regrets that the randomizer gives you a piece of utter nonsense ever dozen or so regrets
Shia LaBeouf says he draws ape during Beverly Hills art show
Shia LaBeouf says he wed Paras during Beverly Hills art show
Shia LaBeouf says he was raped during Beverly Hills art show
Good Morning, Miss Othmar
Pig Pen Colon The New Class
Peppermint Pattie, the college years
that's why they call it a cock ASL, sir
that's why they call it classic rock
Bright Eyes getting raped by a swan, apparently
turning around, bright eyes, turning around, oooo ooooh, ah ha, aah ha, ah ha, ah haaaa, hoooehooooeeee
circling the dranei with a sexy rash
not knowing why you thought of "circling the draenei" as you've never played WoW and haven't played Warcraft since finishing whatever expansion it was they were in
wondering if you were the first person to ever think of "circling the draenei" but finding out you were the fourth
a hoser riding a bicycle
Pitt juts, eh
just the tip
you have my sword, and my anti vandal bot, and my axe
calling a Pennsylvania Avenue secret service guy from inside the White House to tell him you just walked right in
calling a Yonge Street mountie a hoser, eh
Legolas Greenmaven
Legolas Greenleaf
calling a Downing Street police officer a pleb
moving in with Barbie a week after meeting her
Beardless Homo Ken
night baking
Shoe Ikeda
Creed's Frontman Scott Stapp Is Beardless Homo Ken
Creed's Frontman Scott Stapp Is Broke and Homeless
d glans
that seriously, pastry can go fuck itself, the needy bastard
presumably it happened somewhere
wondering if three four one six six is actually something that happened or just a joke
Tressie Souders
pastry ants
trying and failing to make pastry, then trying again, a different way
trying and failing to make a pastry ants regret
the mysteries of panties
the mysteries of pastry
open gl
sand gl
saying something because you don't really believe any part of it to be true, but then realizing hours later that if any part of it were true, you would be a massive jackass for having thought it, let alone said it, and being pretty damned sorry about that
glands
put your brain in a robot body SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
thinking you were over someone then seeing them in your timeline unexpectedly and panicking just like you used to
having a nap after lunch
animals writing a regret
writing a regret being Eiffel Towered by various old men and animals
writing a regret
being Eiffel Towered by various old men and animals
if it turns out to be true I want it on record that I didn't know and this newfound power to alter history frightens and delights me
momentarily forgetting the dogs kids swapover thing we do when writing a regret
wondering whether our own Celebrity Regretter has any skeletons in their closet, other than drawing all those pictures of Kento being Eiffel Towered by various old men and animals
that Ted Danson used to bugger kids on Clapham Common in the eighties
momentarily forgetting the kids dogs swapover thing we do when writing a regret
that Ted Danson used to bugger dogs on Clapham Common in the eighties
really starting to wonder if he once violated a young boy by fucking the eyholes of his skull or something
that at this point you really wouldn't be surprised to find out that Ted Danson used to bugger dogs on Clapham Common in the eighties
"in shock"
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a girl having gamaroosh with her in the hospital morgue or something
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a boy having sex with him in the Sesame Workshop or something
copy pasting the wrong thing
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a girl having sex with her in the showers at Penn State or something
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a boy having sex with him in the hot tub or something
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a girl having sex with her in the hot tub or something
really starting to wonder if he once drowned a girl having sex with her in the tub or something
there's always AC Anal
there's always a canal
Cosby fixed her a drink, asked her to wet her hair and pretend to be intoxicated, and masturbated using her hand while she was "in shock"
Nightboat
narf dot tumblr dot com
cephalicrodent dot tumblr dot com
triphallicrodent dot tumblr dot com
triphallicdude dot tumblr dot com
biology trident
rotting oily bed
Tiny Tiger blood
hiding from the thong, waiting for Sheen to cum it
hiding from the sun, waiting for the night to come
the shitshow can begin, Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
the shitshow can begin, Climbing Mount Improbably
google has not yet heard of the concept of "anal tile dykes", however
under three thousand results in quotes, that's still fairly unique
thinking, for the briefest of instants, that that was maybe the first time anyone ever said "sexy rash," but a quick google search shows that of course it's not, not even close
loving the sexy rash of anal tile dykes
not a snot flood
Total Nonfoods
loving the sexy slither of a lady snake
Toast of London
Bojack Horseman
chungs
wangs
running for your life from hail of abuse
running for your life from hues of labia
running for your life from Shia LaBeouf
having improbably dinosaur sex with agenty fiftyseven
Climbing Mount Improbably, if you know what I mean
that you considered pointing it out but the best thing you could come up with was "Climbing Mount Improbably" and you didn't think it was worthwhile, however, now the cat's out of the bag the shitshow can begin, Climbing Mount Improbably
that sounds improbably
realizing immediately after typing that regret that you made a subject number error, but it took like half an hour for you to realize that you wrote improbably instead of improbable
having never actually voted on that particular regret
he's just so into it, it feels right
finding it improbably that not one of the fifty three people who have fisted Go Ikeda regret it
screaming the word "waffletastic" at the moment of climax
keeping it secret, keeping it safe
Jurassic Jong
Jurassic Kim
Jurassic Prick
Jurassic Park Colon Trespasser
putting Baby in the corner then simply walking into Mordor
buying Jurassic Paralegal in a Steam sale and feeling guilty every time you log in and don't lock down the DNA patents for Dr Hammond because you're too busy eating ice cream for XP
the less said about Billy and the Cloneasaurus the better
Dr Hammond was very upset about Permian Playground
we need clear IP on the dinosaur, Dr Hammond says he can't have any copycats this time
there's a definite qualitative difference to the viewing experience, but the in universe explanation is pretty much where you'd expect it to have gone years ago
that in fairness the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were all hybrids made with frog DNA anyway, so it's not a huge step away from that
High school prostitution ring uncovered in Florida
we need clear IP on the dinosaur, the toy companies say they can't have any copycats this time
that the bullshit Force philosophy in Star Wars is pretty close to what you hear people talk about when they're baked, so maybe there is something to this
Sony Pictures Entertainment experienced a system disruption
the death of Bob Dylan
I screamed out 'You guys sound great!' That caused Dylan to burst
I screamed out 'Waffletastic!' That caused Dylan to burst out laughing
I screamed out 'You guys sound great!' That caused Dylan to burst out laughing
maybe I am a little angry
utterly contemptible people
using a stencil made of poppies to form the ashes of you disabled son's body into the letters NHS, as though you ever cared about anything but enriching yourself
Green Leader, standing by
guessing that the Celebrity Regretter was Neil Tennant, based on the regret "being sorry for everything you've ever done, everybody, everything you'll ever do, everybody, every place you've ever been, everybody, every place you're going to, everybody, it'
testiclasm
the amazing great Regret Syntax shift
that the regret "that everything you've made, or even touched, since Pulp Fiction has been complete diarrhea" simply means the regretter's housemates have poor personal hygiene and like to borrow DVDs, also they have dysentry or something
that Uma Thurman was in The Avengers and Les Miserables, but not the good ones like you want
that it can't be Phil LaMarr, because he's made Futurama since then
guessing that the Celebrity Regretter was John Travolta, based on the regret "that everything you've made, or even touched, since Pulp Fiction has been complete diarrhea" and Battlefield Earth, but not having seen Academy Award winning movie Swordfish
having a seven inch purple lightsaber
guessing that the Celebrity Regretter was Samuel L Jackson, based on the regret "that everything you've made, or even touched, since Pulp Fiction has been complete diarrhea" and a comment you may have imagined about Star Wars
Red Four Twenty, standing duuude, did you see that
getting baked before going on the Death Star raid
guessing that Chris Lydon's erection is aided by a series of gas bladders
getting a little cooked, but you're OK
wondering what's up with one two seven three five
sucking his left one until he had a testiclasm
sprinking her left one until she had a wafflegasm
there will be blood
speculating on the volume of blood necessary to maintain Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike erection
returning to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you're never gonna fucking talk to
old men with so much blood in them, if you know what I mean
by "feeling bad" meaning irritated with yourself for indulging in trivia rather than "Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him"
google is rubber and you are glue
feeling worse about looking at celebrity related crap than about a search engine actually narrowing the range of available information rather than widening it, although you feel pretty bad about that
google is an hombre cache
google is an echo chamber
google is two echo chambers in a raincoat, one standing on top of the other, with the intent to deceive
google is an echo chamber
google is an echo chamber
apparently it's Scarlett Johansson's highschool, wherever that was, citation needed
google is an echo chamber
googling "where is this highschool" and getting an ABC News "Before They Were Famous Photos" article you glanced at yesterday on the first page, but not knowing if that's because google is an echo chamber
wondering where exactly this highschool is located
high school girls with less milked crannies
high school girls with dense nacre ski mills
high school girls with racism linked lenses
high school girls with naked illness crimes
high school girls with needless irk in clams
high school girls with dank merciless lines
high school girls with sand limerick lenses
high school girls with nameless mice drinks
high school girls with redneck slime in lass
high school girls with licenses and milkers
high school girls with rancid leek slimness
high school girls with endless arsenic milk
high school girls with dense slick minerals
high school girls with slim silk crane needs
high school girls with nerd scam likeliness
high school girls with slick islander semen
high school girls with enema drill sickness
high school girls with lesser lineman dicks
high school girls with cake rind smelliness
high school girls with cleaned skinless rim
high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Skoshi Tiger
The strength of a nation derives from the Tiny Tiger of the home
Great men and women are not extraordinary people who do extraordinary things, they are ordinary people who do ordinary things with Tiny Tiger
One person of Tiny Tiger can make a difference
Wisdom is knowing the right path to take, Tiny Tiger is taking it
Tiny Tiger is doing the right thing even when no one is watching
salt hips don't lie
tiny tiger was the best
the nifty eared hog tit
the death of tiny tiger
the death of integrity
slapping that sith, giving the past a slip
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable red porn shit
sucking her left one until she had begat ass ram
Kento and Go's Vegan Creations
Kento and Go's Viscera Tonnage
Kento and Go's Venison Cartage
Sting lobs bald meat keg to save his 'Sith Slap' musical
an fear dubh
Kento and Go's Vegetarian Cons
ten great songs and an OK voice
Jimmy Nail
Sith Pals Battalions
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Sith Pals' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Hat Lisps' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Lass Pith' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Salt Hips' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Piss Halt' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Pal Shits' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Slash Pit' musical
Sting takes bold gamble to save his 'Last Ship' musical
Stendhal syndrome is a psychosomatic disorder that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, fainting, confusion and even hallucinations when an individual is exposed to an experience of great personal significance, particularly viewing kunst
not knowing kunst but knowing what you like
becoming intimately familiar with some
kunst for kunst's sake
Jennifer Lawrence's vagina xor melting the faces off a bunch of Nazis
Jennifer Lawrence's vagina and melting the faces off a bunch of Nazis
Balloq's staff is too long
drawing a picture of incandescent burning wraiths flying out of Jennifer Lawrence's vagina and melting the faces off a bunch of Nazis
Raiders of the Lost Kunst
having spent a lot of time examining various kunstmuseums and becoming intimately familiar with some
IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM
always giggling to yourself whenever you encounter kuntsmuseums
puttin' trouble on the run
Kuntsmuseum Bern
Lenford "Lenny" Leonard
that it is nearly next year and you are not in pantomime, so clearly you didn't fuck everything when you said you were going to
drinking Quisling out of Jennifer Lawrence's butthole
Lenny Lennyson
being able to remember that Carl of Lenny and Carl is Carl Carlsson but not what Lenny's full name is
doing the Bartman in the showers at Penn State
doing the Bartman
drinking Riesling out of Jennifer Lawrence's butthole
Kunstmuseum Bern Obtains Trove From Gurlitt Collection, something something, Jennifer Lawrence's butthole
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's curious cans as you knead them
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you sucked on her left one until she had a breastgasm
yiffing a nonce
yiff sounding almost like a case of semantic satiation until you remember that it's just a nonce word anyway
becoming a yiff lord, yifflord
becoming a yifflord
becoming a yiff lord
yiffing yourself, you yiff yiffing yiffer
only a yiff deals in absolutes
The Bothans were able to yiff with the other species, as exemplified by the Jedi Lord Valenthyne Farfalla
mood sensitive fur
randily savaging Macho Man Randy Savage, no homo
forgetting that you'd posted your height on the internet
considering becoming two hermit crabs in a raincoat, one standing on the other's carapace with the intent to deceive
considering becoming a hermit crab
considering becoming a hermit
Regin
a dominatrix also appealed that her site, Urban Chick Supremacy Cell, was not TV like, and won
life being so unfair
the Hound of Doskar
Star Wars Colon Force Commander
The Bothans were able to interbreed with the other species, as exemplified by the Jedi Lord Valenthyne Farfalla
imagining Tweety Bird saying "Poo Soap to Teen Twat, Too"
she was the butt double in III through VI
always thinking it was Glenn Close in the Dyke Ass Mayhem series
Streep is just so good
that as far as lesbian porn goes, you always preferred the Dyke Ass Mayhem series to the Butch Epics series
butch epics
pubic chest
punic chess
on a promise
pubic chess
poo soap to teen twat too only being a valid move in cubic chess
over land and over space you take me to that unreal place that I had never known
that if you were made potato for life, your national anthem would be "Poo Soap to Teen Twat, Too", played by a full military band at the loudest, most distorting volume possible, howled out in barking chants by choirs of loyal serfs, just to amuse you
you and I could be a mile above the earth tremors
that if you were made potato for life, your national anthem would be "One Potato, Two Potatoes", played by a full military band at the loudest, most distorting volume possible, howled out in barking chants by choirs of ultra loyal serfs, just to amuse you
your grip on power is weak and your nation will fall
Dyke Ass Mayhem is overrated
that if you were made dictator for life, your national anthem would be "Dyke Ass Mayhem", played by a full military band at the loudest, most distorting volume possible, howled out in barking chants by choirs of ultra loyal serfs, just to amuse you
kind of missing Ryan North, but getting him with the second shot
kind of missing Ryan North
kind of missing the north
Robert Palmer having by far the nicest voice ever to emerge from Batley
most of the money would go on clones
sometimes thinking about what kind of dictator for life you would be, because you find it a useful method to pinpoint what your more unpleasant attributes and behaviors are
that if you were made dictator for life, your national anthem would be "She Makes My Day", played by a full military band at the loudest, most distorting volume possible, howled out in barking chants by choirs of ultra loyal serfs, just to amuse you
no one ever died from thawing onto cum
some of us have tried
no one ever died from mowing a hot cunt
no one ever died from magic wonton hut
nude diphthong diphthong fluid
no one ever died from wanting too much
diphthongs
it's full of Hobbit pork
Rape Bag End
papa's got a brand new rape bag
it's funny now, but then it's a headline and it's sad
ten years living in pa rape bag
one hundred years of Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
ten years Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
immigration from the Texas territory continued illegally from the United States
ten years living in a paper bag
Multiple occurrences of Beartic sexual harassment by Dirty Herdiers
there's just no good place for this to go
Dirty Herdier reentering the Beartic
Dirty Herdier pulling out of the Beartic
Dirty Herdier entering the Beartic
Dirty Herdier
Enter the Beartic
bottoming for Snorlax in Gigantic VII
I Saw What You Ate Last Tuesday
Gigantic
Gustav Schwarzenegger
Fiorello Cappucino
This is the last episode to play the Pokerap
The Breeding Center Secret
Todd Snap
Charles Goodshow
Jon Dickson from Sento Cherry Town
builders renovating a house in Penryn, Cornwall uncovered a dead rat dating back to the Black Death, giss on!
builders renovating a house in Penryn, Cornwall uncovered a dead rat dating back to the Black Death
Harold Got Your Nose
winston Goochie Goochie Goo
Egon Got Your Nose
a six year old sheep that has never been shorn
I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three Picture Deal at Disney
Ernie Goochie Goochie Goo
I like a black ball of array that had caught ghost
Suicidal Station Spirit Startles Straphangers
truanting band suppository roofies
Suppository audition for Bryan Singer
Suppost to audition for Bryan Singer
that one's covered by "not suppost to cry"
Hafta shower with Jerry Sandusky
Walrus goes bananas and ejaculates at tourists trying to film him in Berlin Zoo
Grow hair everywhere
Having a automatic bad reputation
Boys smell bad
Suppost to play football
Suppost to like vilence
Suppost to do all the work
Not allowed to be a cheerleader
Not suppost to cry
Not being able to be a mother
Lily Allen turned down Band Aid because it was too 'smug'
Gorilla goes bananas and throws rock at tourists trying to film him in Berlin Zoo
diphallicdude dot tumblr dot com
Twin Foot Longs #Two
rubbing one out in the bathroom at McDonalds
eating cookie dough out of a chimp anus
having dinner with a girl who ate a lot like Christina Ricci
meeting Brian Bacon Gouda Stuffed Peppers
The Colossal Cans of Benjamin Buttocks
watching The Thin Man OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit
Allison Iraheta being forklifted off American Idol
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in fatworld Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the deep fried cockney gumshoe is paid in crullers
buying multiple copies of the book "To Eat or To Eat" by the incredibly obese New York Times food section author Ryan North
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in fatworld Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the deep fried cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third meal after lunch and brunch
ordering the wafflecaust in fatworld
drinking the lard in fatworld Mexico
watching a fatworld crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe climbs stairs
fatworld Bicoid Babe looking like a flat chested, assless Marceline from Adventure Time
the rabbit hole
the fatworld Regret Index giving Kento so much shit for being a thin gay Asian
fatworld Bob Geldof wanting your fuckin' money to provide liposuction for overweight Ethiopians
wondering if post WWII fatworld was horrified by shocking photos of Aufscwitz Jews gorged to weights of over a ton by Nazi scientists
wondering if fatworld's internet is home to a site where antisocial shut ins jack off to photoshops of anorexic celebrities
not in fatworld
but she's a tiny little woman
the death of Marion Barry
Monica being your least favorite F#R#I#E#N#D# by a wide margin
wiping Muk's face ineffectively to the point of causing pleasure instead of damage
UNBELIEVABLE! SCIZOR IS ACTUALLY THROWING MUK!
the only position for women in the struggle is Nekoashi dachi
the only position for women in the struggle is prone
Chris and Kento's Excellent Adventure
State police say a man stripped inside a women's bathroom at Boston's Logan Airport, climbed into a dropped ceiling, crashed through it and landed on the floor, then assaulted an elderly man while he was still naked and bleeding, wicked pissah
such a way phoneway way
such a way terrible loss
you poor thing
it's not that I'm not flattered
I don't have a penis, by the way
ogling Jewel's ape tits
sitting on Vigo the Carpathian's red flesh toilet
let's braid our penises together
I think I'm falling in love with you
getting the regret "frostiest pee stall drug, eh" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "red flesh toilet rapes guts" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "hustler serf ogled ape tits" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "sleepier goth sluts farted" but not having a Sometimes button
getting the regret "all of these stupid regrets" but not having a Sometimes button
An Inconvenient Skeleton Colon The Unauthorized Investigation of Kate Middleton
An Inconvenient Skeleton Colon The Unauthorized Biography of Kate Middleton
an inconvenient skeleton
Nurses Told Not To Hang Themselves If They Want To Care For Prince William and Kate Middleton
an inconvenient mincing
Nannies Told Not To Wear Jeans If They Want To Shake Prince George
Journalists Told Not To Wear Jeans If They Want To Cover Prince William and Kate Middleton
that sounds conveniently mincing
that sounds eminently convincing
me too, but I have a big day ahead of me, here in France
having kind of enjoyed the Q&A this morning
wondering if you took that dildo out, would she die
Bicoid Bane
him hopkin green elf
your dentist posting pics of himelf with Mick Fleetwood to facebook
I just couldn't find a rhyme for it
I am literally that guy
I am the guy who was in your range
wondering if you're the guy who was in my range
wondering if you're the guy who was in Germany
en francais
the weather is fine
wondering if you ever fined Suzi Screwer
wondering if you ever screwed Suzi Rougher
wondering how France is this morning
wondering if you ever screwed Suzi Finer
a bit of a panic is good for us all sometimes
some might call me panicky but I really never showed it here
wondering if you're the panicky freakout guy from way back
not understanding why anybody would want to have sex with any member of Shame Trio
guessing it was someone from Shame Trio
still not figuring out the Rolling Stone cover thing
I'm not the Celebrity Regretter
doing a faintly exasperated posture and expression simultaneously
unless there's two of you, in which case, christ
Photographer Jane being before my time posting here, but probably relating to the Celebrity Regretter, meaning you're not him
not even remembering Photographer Jane
wondering if you're the guy who dated Photographer Jane
no, not him
wondering if you're the guy who dated the one legged Pakistani girl
they are the very worst sort
I never could stand them
even though there was some bad news this week, the Ukip victory really got your pecker up
Rachel is confirmed to live in Japan, or at least to have lived in Japan at some point
nobody cared who she was until she put in the dildo
always having thought that the Nagoya regretter was Rachel but conceding that it may be Kento, as you're not even sure why you think Rachel would be in Japan
nobody cared who she was until she took out the dildo
just catching that last typo as you hit enter
guessing that neither Bicoid Bane nor agenty fiftyseven post here a lot any more, what with the total lack of mention of the plane crash in Chicago this week
wondering if the Nagoya based regretter is Rachel or someone else or maybe even Kento
not really thinking of yourself as all that angry these days
God shit!
guessing that you're probably neither Bicoid Babe nor agenty fiftyseven
wondering if you're the Angry British Bandit, or the Northern Californian
Merde a Dieu!
wondering if you're the French Regretter
I'm sorry, that was uncalled for
wondering if YOU'RE Kento
fuck you, seriously
wondering if you're Kento
so could I, but I'm not
I could be
wondering if you're Rachel
I'm not Pseudonym
wondering if you're Pseudonym
it's all starting to blur together for me
just really wanting to use whither in a sentence sometimes
there are three of us, sometimes four, sometimes five, very rarely six
instead asking "whither runneth my sweetheart"
it's not important, I was just trying to figure out how many of us there still are here
The Ugly Titling
that you once lived with someone whose name was Tit Ling
wondering what question you want to ask
specifically correcting who's from whose but being mistaken, eh
reading the word titling as "tit ling"
specifically correcting who's from whose but being mistaken, oh well, time to dig your own corspe up again
that you once lived with someone who's first name was Swan
titling your autobiography Swans and Incest Colon So It's Come To This
the bitterly incestuous music of Swan, one of the most destructive waterfowl ever to have lived
the bitterly ironic music of Swan, one of the most destructive swanwriters ever to have lived
don't stand, don't stand, don't stand so close to me, or I'll break your arm with a single beat of my wing
Beak Tracy, a sharp beaked, hard hitting, fast shooting, and intelligent The Police swan
that's right, it's a swan with a gun
Beak Tracy, a sharp beaked, hard hitting, fast shooting, and intelligent police swan
a swan named tracy
a man named tracy
Tracy Morgan is now a retarded cripple
wanting to ask a question
Kate Middleton's Family Shares Their Thanksgiving Party Tips And Other Blatant Lies
Prince William Teases Comic for 'Flirting' with Kale
smelling sex and kandy kale
Prince William Teases Comic for 'Flirting' with Kate
Kandy Kale
LA milk harm
terrible hypnotist
not a good lawyert
An Ohio lawyer is under criminal investigation for hypnotizing a female client during meetings and directing her to engage in a series of sexual activities while in a trance and under his control
Mark Hamill will one day be remembered as history's greatest monster
killing for Mark Hamill at the Hyatt Regency London, near Kensington Palace, this Friday at midnight
Hotel gas blast at Hyatt Regency in London sees fourteen hurt
sprinking chocolate chips on your sister's breasts as you knead them
taking the most incestuous dump
hey guys, remember incest
not hooking up with your brother Ryan
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable second cousin
that your sibling is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to get off
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Woody Allen
having no way of knowing whether a new fuckbuddy, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is a blood relative or not as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
needing a cash incest, stat
Alison Incest being voted off American Idol
incest ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Incest Bledel, I mean duh
having an incestuous crush on Alex Dainis
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you commit interest
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Incest
inbreasts
the incest of Sylvia Browne
using the word "waffleincest"
watching a British crime drama performed in incest but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner
lolcest
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want an incestuous relationship, he meant it
failing to come up with an incestuously acceptable third person
telling that girl in second grade who incested that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina
Titan ADHD
that you're suddenly very incestuous in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
saying "statutory incest" instead of "statutory interest"
seven vaganias
the Island to Remind You of Your Childhood
cunt apus
cock roc
bastard elephant bird
asswipe moa
motherfucker ostrich
cocksucker swan
prick goose
jerk chicken
Stacey Herald
gigantomastia
HEY, JOHNNY, I LIKE THAT! Johnny! I like that! I LIKE THAT MY FRIEND! I'M GONNA USE THAT!
boneless pork rectums inverted
To see posts on Titan's timeline, send him a friend request
nuts and gum, together at last
Titan AD
Et Dew, Doritos
I really hope Dewitos is fake otherwise it may be marked in the history books as the turning point in civilisation, the beginning of the end
Dewitos
Bryan Singer's Star Trek proposal sounding an awful lot like Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda series that was already running at the time
Star Trek Colon Federation
oops, that's Bryan Singer's Star Trek, my mistake
the phrase "fully functional" is underlined when discussing Wesley Crusher
Roman Polanski's Star Trek
Hot snot in kid, Number One
keeping your snot knots and number ones in the same location
I hid snot knot, Number One
I don't think so, Number One
that we are all just aspects of Kento's psyche, so maybe their disapperance represents a partial reweaving of Kento's frayed ego on his long path to sanity
that maybe the comments never existed even though we remember them, after all, he is Ryan "Q" North
swanorchidism
monoorchidism, sieg heil
monoorchidism
chirps, moodily
suspecting they are deleted from the server but backed up somewhere and that Ryan was hoping to restore them, because you recall the site becoming more stable around the time the comments database was removed
polyorchidism
wondering if the comments are actually deleted from the server, or if they are just hidden
sending your vegan veal tee refs to lactation swathes, eh
sending your vegan veal tee refs to an ethical sweatshop
vegan veal tee ref
veal tee ref
fetal Reeve
reveal feet
An EXPENSIVE Boob Ruin
La Fee Verte
thinking that Bono is the kind of guy who would think that not even his own clone or time traveling counterpart is good enough to have sex with him
A Free Boob Ruin
Oboe Urine Barf
Faerie Bourbon
wondering if Bono would rather have sex with a clone of himself or with himself from a different time period
Oreo Fun Barbie
According to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, she would lack the seventeen to twenty two percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate
bottoming for Handjobrobot Four in Raiders of the Ace Butt Ark VII
Ken Carson
Barbara Millicent Roberts
Ace Butt Ark
Tuba Racket
Et tu, Barbie
Et tu, Barack
In the book, Barbie does such non tech savvy things as infecting her friend Skipper's hand job robot with a virus, which causes Skipper to lose her virginity
Barbie
The two girls have a pillow fight, then Barbie goes to hunt down Steven and Brian to help her with her computer woes
In the book, Barbie does such non tech savvy things as infecting her friend Skipper's laptop with a virus, which causes Skipper to lose her music files and homework
he's going to make mutual masturbation history
"anyone else would be a waste"
the very notion that Bono would ever allow himself to provide sexual pleasure to anyone other than himself
Bono will be that hand job robot, better than he was before, better, stronger, faster
we have the capability to build the world's first hand job robot
we have the technology
gentlemen, we can rebuild him
Bono, musician, a man barely alive
whatever side demands least tax
wondering what side Robo Bono will take in the Hand Job Robot Uprising
giving her the wings to fly through antimony
the agency described the company a "partner" and designated it the codename Gerontic
bottoming for Robo Bono in Screws After Bike Accident VII
giving her the wings to fly through harmony
Utwo's Bono fitted with metal plates, screws after bike accident
the death of Mike Nichols
Utwo's Bono suffered extensive injuries, had hours of surgery after horse bicycle crash
being slammed by Dr Ben Goldacre in Fanny Magnets VII
drinking cointreau daiquiris with Zachary Quinto
Dr Ben Goldacre slams fanny magnets
Kenny cast Glacial Crasher and then Stan's dad shot his dick off
Dad, that's not cock magic
Utwo's Bono suffered extensive injuries, had hours of surgery after bicycle crash
the Jimmy Savile of drinks
Myke Hawke magic is making a comeback
cock magic is making a comeback
Starbucks is making a Vegan Harvey Cream Fappucino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Fat Albert Cream Blast Latte because they know you'll drink it
liking your coffee like you like your men, French, looking like Janice Dickinson, and filled with Bill Cosby's semen
the Piers Morgan of drinks
liking your coffee like you like your women, vanilla French roast
liking your coffee like you like your women, full of shit, having fancy names, and costing way too much
Starbucks is making a Montezuma's Revenge Mocha because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Green Apple Splatters Frappucino because they know you'll drink it
brewing a coffee with an unusually high feces content, so that you can market it as Starbucks
brewing a champagne with an unusually high feces content, so that you can market it as Sylvia Brown
brewing a pear cider with an unusually high alcohol content, so that you can market it as Perry Coma
herself she has
sexually assaulting her
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is Janice Dickinson, who stumbled to the regret index on a tip off from the google alert for herself she has
mobsters being sworn into the Calabria based crime syndicate's elite division known as "Santa"
Model Janice Dickinson has accused Bill Cosby of drugging and sexually assaulting her
the midnight poodler
the noodler
the doodler
Nyaruko Colon Crawling with Love
it's hard to grasp
wondering how someone could possibly fuck the eyholes of his or her own skull
seeing years later that you typo'd corpse as corspe and slightly wanting to disinter yourself and fuck the eyholes of your skull in order to violate yourself like you violated standardized spelling
experimenting with odd rainbow Petes when you were in college
seeing years later that you typo'd sprinkling as sprinking and slightly wanting to knead your eyes out
seeing years later that you typo'd Ryder as Rider and slightly wanting to claw your eyes out
seeing hours later that you typo'd denim as demin and slightly wanting to claw your eyes out
downtown like a Pride Parade, sliced up like a birthday cake
The Measuring Man
he's got the equipment to do it
Chris Lydon having never provided evidence he is not the Boston Strangler
Chris Lydon's persistent anneliduresis
that, given his propensity for setting things on fire coupled with his waking up frequently with the sheets soaking wet, Bruce Springsteen has clearly shown two of the three pillars of the Macdonald triad
drawing a picture of a little girl setting a demin clad pedophile ablaze as part of your pitch for a gritty reboot of Home Alone
cut loose like an animal, fired out like a cannonball
dreaming big, you blockhead
Mein Mampf
The residents of a small German town managed to turn a neo Nazi rally into an anti Nazi fundraiser by playing a trick on the supporters of the Third Reich
This year there was talk of experimenting with orange, yellow or odd rainbow Petes
your state not having an official GASEOUS dinosaur
most states not having an official state dinosaur
Rainbow Pete Parties
Fat Gay Asian Pete
This year there was talk of experimenting with orange, yellow or even rainbow Petes
Nursing Home Owner Caught On Tape Sexually Assaulting Resident Colon Cops
your state not having an official state dinosaur
hey little girl is your daddy home did he go and leave you all alone I got a bad desire oh oh oh I'm on fire
The Streets of Pedophiladelphia
The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed With Sun
the death of Doktor Flori
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Pedophiladelphia VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Big VII
suspecting that there probably isn't
wondering if there's more to life than this
savoring
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Road to Penetration VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Catch Me in the Can VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Savouring Mr Bonks VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Extremely Deep & Incredibly Tight VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in From the Girth to the Moon VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Turner & Cooch VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in The Polar Ass Press VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in You've Got Male VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in The Da Vinci Chode VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Freedom Colon A History of Ass VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Four Ass Hump VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Captain Fillass VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Asstaway VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Assless in Seattle VII
bottoming for Dong Shanks in Ploughed Assless VII
Multiple occurrences of king penguin sexual harassment by Antarctic fur seals
shipping tomatoes with potatoes
chopping tomatoes
finally ruining Star Wars for yourself, imagining Tusken Ikedas making that horrible throaty howl indiscriminately while Eiffel Towering each other
drawing a picture of Kento getting laceration from the lactation rodent
Old Chris
Tusken Ikedas
drawing a picture of Kento getting laceration from the sand tot
drawing a picture of Kento getting anal from the stoned tits orca
drawing a picture of Kento getting a root canal from the dentist
try to aim the oosik so that it goes down your throat and doesn't hit the teeth, Kento
having a feeling at the back of your jaw like you're getting a thirty third tooth
Starbucks is making an Iced Caramel Poodoo because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Bantha Fodder Praline Latte because they know you'll drink it
Ventioone, the Starbucks planet
fen draining and sod the canal, eh
Fingerin' Dan and the Anal Chodes
Roberto will bed the Avatar regardless of gender
A planet is an astronomical object orbitin a starn or stellar remnant that is massive enough tae be roondit bi its ain gravity, is nae massive enough tae cause thermonuclear fusion, an haes cleared its neighbourin region o planetesimals
Fowk that studies astronomie is cried astronomers
Simon Elliot
dying of bladder cancer that spread to your lungs
offing jerks, jerkoff
your clone using the amazing Regret Index to try and seduce you away from your time travelling self
when Darth Sidious was looking for the perfect jerk to clone to make his jerk army, he chose YOU
your clone, on the other hand, would likely have had completely different life experiences and personality traits
if you had a clone, they'd be a clone of a jerk
feeling like having sex with your othertime counterpart would be uncomfortable, because he either knows a lot more about your, or vice versa, and it would just be awkward
your clone
if you can't be comfortable with yourself, who can you be comfortable with
I'm glad you're comfortable enough to share that with everyone
Vegantooine
feeling like you'd be more comfortable having sex with yourself from another time period than with a clone of yourself
Ventooine
Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life
Bosbit Matarcher
I guess what I'm asking is whether it is possible to have a draw a picture of like a dozen Boba Fetts from different time periods forming an enormous daisy chain, each fisting the one that comes after before coming back full circle
While time travel was an exceedingly rare phenomenon, a few cases were partially documented
wondering if, somewhere in the countless reams of expanded universe bullshit, Star Wars has ever dipped into the overused time travel well
having a GENEROUS girth for the first time in years
Boba being digitally inserted in every new Star Wars movie
drawing a picture of Jango lecturing Boba about how dangerous it is to go wrist deep in a clone of himself
I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill considered project
years ago, you served my father in the Clone Fistings
clone fist is no laughing matter, son
colon fitness is no laughing matter
having a migrant for the first time in years, eh
having a mean girth for the first time in years
OJ Simpson Minimum Maintenance Colon Fitness For Men
having a nightmare for the first time in years
because they know you'll drink it
Kardashian for audience share
your lips to one again
you'll drink it
anus tightening procedures
losers
publicly
Scott Simon has caused more still births than nicotine
once you know what's in a chimp anus you'll never want to put your lips to one again
Scott Simon is better with his fists than Muhammad Ali
PETA encourages boycott of Starbucks in protest of chimpanzee anus tightening procedures
those cardboard caramel waffles Starbucks sell
size zero chimp anuses
only if it's skinny
Starbucks is making a Chimp Anus Champagne Frappucino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Raw Feces Mochachino because they know you'll drink it
Starbucks is making a Chestnut Praline Latte because they know you'll drink it
wondering what it's like being in the PR group of a terrorist organisation, pitching ideas on how to compete with naked Kim Kardashian for audience share
Naked Kim Kardashian forced hostages to fight each other in boxing matches as the Beatles watched, and then tortured the losers
Naked Kim Kardashian makes fresh orifice
Naked Kim Kardashian gets fresh with coffee
The Beatles have also forced hostages to fight each other in boxing matches as the Beatles watched, and then tortured the losers
Paul appeared in the cells of the hostages less than the other Beatles, and appeared to be a guard only
Ringo was frequently seen by the hostages
It was the view of the hostages that George was not very intelligent
George, the leader of the Beatles, often spent time repeating sections of the Koran and promoting the ISIL's extremist views publicly
if there's anyone who knows about sexual assault, it's Scott Simon, who has knifed more pussies than a chef at a Chinese restaurant
NPR reporter speaks out on Twitter about Cosby silence on sexual assault claims
velcro
Naked Kim Kardashian makes her off feces
Naked Kim Kardashian makes fresh coffee
not being able to walk down Main Street USA without being pelted by jizz
wondering how many new jizz bars will dot Disney's theme parks worldwide given the new Star Wars acquisition
really hoping you're not the only one who remembers the Disney jizz thing
wondering if there's a whole load of jizz going around Disneyland yet
being late for Disneyland because of heavy traffic at the Eiffel Tower
being late for Disneyland because of Aer Lingus
their children need wine
Paris or California
being late for Disneyland because of cunnilingus
payola ha ha ha ha ha
payola
always having questions, so many questions
actually Big Benning a girl with a porcupine last night, no joke
wondering how you explained the chocolate chips
drawing a picture of Miley Cyrus being Eiffel Towered by Milo & Otis then discovering she already put a selfie of that up on Instagram taken on the set of her new video
disgusting
actually spooning a girl's boobs last night, no joke
drawing a picture of Miley Cyrus being Eiffel Towered by Hall & Oates then discovering she already put a selfie of that up on Instagram taken on the set of her new video
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Hall & Oates
watching Milo & Otis with Hall & Oates
tractor pulls
Brainie the Pooh
Stefan Karlovich
Karl Stefanovic
pumping gas with Hump & Ass
humping ass with Hump & Ass
hauling ass with Hall & Ass
hauling oats with Hall & Oates
listening to Bamboleo while laying Bambi in a bamboo bed
word boobs
the word "boob" looking like a guy with glasses giving two thumbs up
putting it my way, but nicely, you are precisely my cup of tea
sellpantiesforkroner dot dk
I probably get four or five requests a week from eager Bostonians looking to score some female understains, wicked pissah
sellpantiesformoney dot com
selling your used ant farms on reddit
signed, death
kidding lol not even if you paid me
et in Furcadia ego
FurryMUCK
Lolapps
smelling your used panties on reddit
selling your pee and suits
selling your used panties on reddit
Furcadia
On one occasion, when she was seven months pregnant, she had to take a train and taxi from the Lake House estate near Salisbury to London to prepare soup and salad for Miss Styler
Male Chimpanzees treat Females aggressively to Father More Babies
dog watch
redundancy is extraneous
eight balls
eight bells
that's redundant
sluttywalrusmagazine dot com
walrusmagazine dot com
try "boning walrus" instead
really it should bring up Kento's homepage as the second result
googling "walrus bones" brings up wikipedia's Baculum page as the first result
Scared Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle
beyond the carpus
wondering how a walrus could possibly wear a wrist watch
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a walrus could possibly fist Kento
being Big Benned by confusion and gerontification
being Big Benned by compulsion and gratification
being Eiffel Towered by compulsion and gratification
I just mistook compulsion for gratification
wondering when you started expecting that any of these stunt sex acts be pleasurable
Kento "Double Time" Ikeda
it always seems to come back to fisting eventually
A sexual act where a man or woman engages in fisting with their partner while wearing a wrist watch
branucidtionray might be of help
that doesn't sound pleasurable for anyone involved, but it takes all sorts to make a world
the regular striking of balls
still not being clear on what a Big Benning entails, but imagining it involves the regular striking of bells
drawing a picture of Kento being Big Benned by Ben Butthocks and Ben Buttocks
winning Mutually Acceptable Third Person at the Cans Film Festival with seventeen loads
The Official Danish Remoulade of the Cans Film Festival
in Belgium
really liking the idea of a Cans Film Festival and hoping it becomes a thing
porn actor Ben Butthocks ended up staying in a "waffletastic" five star hotel after he was mistaken for the very similarly named Ben Buttocks at the Cans Film Festival
actor Ben Miller ended up staying in a "lavish" five star hotel after he was mistaken for the very similarly named Ben Stiller at the Cannes Film Festival
beating off Dick Neutral, or not
beating Dick Neutral
being Dick Neutral
it odd walrs cock
Dotard's Cowlick
cock rod wad list
Toad Lick Crowds
never knowing Dick Laws existed until it was too late
Obituary Colon Dick Laws
being Doctor Dick Lawful instead of Doctor Dick Chaotic
Doctor Dick Laws
it's too orangey for Kento
Kento with a walrus as a dog
Kento with a walrus as a kid
giving Jackson C Frank an eyeful when you were Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus as a kid
Party Favor Hamilton
based sabotage, topkek lel
Organizations distance themselves from Olympian cum escort Suzy Favor Hamilton
wondering how, assuming the moose stays healthy, Team Ikeda could possibly beat Team Christensen without some kind of sand based sabotage
Paris on alert as police spot fat gay Asian hand and knee prints near Champ de Mars
sometimes thinking that you know who the Celebrity Regretter is, but then thinking that actually you're probably just reading into the subtle hints of someone else who thinks they know, and the two of you are further convincing each other
Paris on alert as police spot fat gay Asian foot prints near Champ de Mars
Experts speculate on rumored Team Ikeda last minute replacement
Paris on alert as police spot big cat paw prints near motorway
still not having any good data on that
suspecting that five seven zero two zero is unanswerable because observation is near impossible and testing would just be perceived as a contest
still wondering about five seven zero two zero
having a David Zincfield deficiency
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is David ZINCfield
Penistone fire death boys' funeral to be held
being a McHammer and prood, I'll chin ye
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is David Copperfield
wondering if the Celebrity Regretter is MC Hammer
getting that "hath cunt, will coitus" tattoo
at night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and the lyrics of "u can't touch this" running through the middle of my head
having the lyrics of "couch tits haunt" running through your head all night
having the lyrics of "shit cunt taco, uh" running through your head all night
having the lyrics of "cunt hath coitus" running through your head all night
British prime minister gets laughs at Australian counterpart's expense over threat to Russian, cheerio, crikey, da
having the lyrics of "u can't touch this" running through your head all night
tribbing with trilobites
that after that short but emotionally draining trilobite tryst with twitter, you vowed to never again have fossil sex with a social media site
having dinosaur sex with Facebook and accidentally putting it in
having dinosaur sex with Facebook and accidentally putting it in your public feed because those security settings are tricksy
Giant storms on gassy Uranus have astronomers scratching their heads
Facebook using animated dinosaur to explain new privacy policy
The members of the Dresden Dolls are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true Eiffel Towering
having tiny penis sex with Diplo
ya ya ya
having diplodocus sex with Lorde
Lorde defends Taylor Swift, disses Diplo's 'tiny penis' on Twitter
Mr Steven Tyler and his Shame Trio
training the internet
local officials said a young tiger had been spotted in a village outside Paris
The members of Irate Mosh are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
because I am you and then we will just be fucking ourselves
The members of Moist Hare are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
The members of Shame Trio are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
watching the true ending of Revolution X on YouTube and wondering why you bothered
watching the true ending of Revolution X on YouTube and wondering why they bothered
bra eking the internet
The members of Aerosmith are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending
breaking the internet
some idiot trying to burn a whole evergreen he just cut down right across the street from you
ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION
Boston terriers
drawing a picture of Kento being EFi
wondering if the boxer from the Simon and Garfunkel song was actually a dog
taking your Berger Picard to rectal pacifism school, make it so
taking your Alaskan malamute to rectal pacifism school, meow
fneosan
taking your shih tzu to rectal pacifism school, I shit you not
taking your Scottish terrier to rectal pacifism school because he kept chinning ye
rectal pacifiers
taking your Irish evil setter to rectal pacifism school
taking your cruel anal lab to rectal pacifism school
Category colon Irish evil rectal pacifists
vandalizing every wikipedia article by adding "rectal" before each instance of "pacifism"
Mr Penumbra's Twenty Four Hour Bookstore
Rectal Pacific North West Geldof
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on rectal pacifism
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'thongs' not lions
making a boob of yourself by saying 'no' to hosting SNL
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'no' to hosting BNP
The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on empirical facts
Spooning Night Live
Jewel's biggest regret in life was saying 'no' to hosting SNL
it took them a good four hours to realise their error
'Others forget but we remember', the BNP said of the traditional Remebrance Day silence on Twitter today, only they managed to forget the very date that the First World War ended on themselves
Cameron pledges to cut birth rate and prevent UK being "swamped" by low skilled child labourers
More than a fifth of UK jobs only require the educational level of an eleven year old, cheerio
Remains of infants dating from Ice Age uncovered in Alaska, meow
CRULANALAB used EIFFEL TOWER! It was super effective!
bow not, minor Ani
abortion minnow
Brownian motion
we all let it come this far
we're all to blame
it's always me
that's right, it's me
now who's sorry
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by North West and a cruel anal lab
wondering what the crassest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the crustiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the pussiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the fussiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the messiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
wondering what the massiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
regret number three one four four five
wondering what the gassiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
Rosetta mission Colon Philae lander is 'Kento' for attempted comet touchdown
Rosetta mission Colon Philae lander is 'Go' for attempted comet touchdown
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Tim Gunn and a penguin wearing white tie
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by George Clooney and a baboon in a tuxedo
wondering what the classiest combination of animal and celebrity ever to Eiffel Tower Kento is
though it's hard to call someone violated when he's that enthusiastic
it's not even close
the Boston aquarium
wondering where Kento was violated most, in the comments here or at the Boston aquarium
not remembering Kento's that shit mime, ow
hey guys, remember comments
thinking he said it in the comments, then remembering that pretty much everybody claimed to be Kento in the comments
not remembering that Kento's mom is white
we know that Kento's mom is white, or so we've been told
that we know nothing of Kento's mom
slamming Kento in the car door
The Bumchow Rats
Coprophagy Hindgut Fermentation Geldof
bottoming for Monterey Jack in Hindgut Fermentation VII
Chip and Dale from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers always reminding you of rodents practising coprophagy to aid hindgut fermentation
Chip and Dale from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers always reminding you of Joe and Brian from Wings
The Pentagon wants an airborne aircraft carrier to launch drones
Dapper Laughs Colon On the Pull
the Bristol stool scale, gurt lush init
sending him to outer space, to find another race
Kento walks into a bar and yells "who do I have to blow to get some service around here," everyone in the bar raises their hand, so Kento sucks off lick two dozen guys, after which the bartender asks him what he'll have and Kento says "I don't drink"
The Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango
the Bristol scale was originally devised as a measure of how terrible Bristol was at any given point
blaming all errors, inaccuracies and omissions by wikipedia on Jack Greenmaven
Martin Luther pelinkovec
wondering why the University of Bristol's wikipedia page neglects to mention it as the birthplace of the Bristol scale
Kim Il sung ttongsul
Marshall Applewhite Kool Aid
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona in the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, this Sunday at eight in the evening
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona in Pasadena, CA
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley in a Kia Sedona
drinking Kia Ora nightly with Kiera Knightley
Knightly in the Strangers Colon The Kiera Knightly Story
bottoming for Kiera nightly in Keira Knightley Colon Love
bottoming for Kiera Knightly in Colon Love
Keira Knightley Colon Love Actually Is the Greatest Movie Ever Made
your jet set drive through fanny not running properly on Windows Eight
if you have trouble with your jet set fanny, sometimes it helps to just unplug it then plug it back in
Mary Baker Eddy clamato
being unable to operate your jet set drive through fanny because you only have a Third Class Medical Certificate with a month left on it
legitimately needing an instruction manual
having a jet set drive through fanny
Brigham Young pissala
having legs but not knowing how to use them
L Ron Hubbard au jus
Moses milkshake bringing all the Jews to the Promised Land
lots and lots of Moses milkshakes
Moses milkshake
Buddha aojiru
Muhammed smoothies
turning weird tricks at Pooh Corner
discovering weird tricks
crabbily chroming a crab in Cromer
camping is in tents
skeletal dipping
fat gay Asian dipping
skinny dipping
being Eiffely Towered
drawing a picture of T Rex being Eiffel Towered by Ryan North and agenty fiftyseven
democratically boned chicken
boning a dinosaur with agenty fiftyseven
mechanically boned chicken
Democratic People's Republic of Korea Fried Chicken
one person being very berry boned
Canadian freed by North Korea wanted poutine, eh
TWO people eating very boned
one person being very boned
Jesus juice
American freed by North Korea wanted pizza
one person being very bored
being unfamiliar with Gladiators
wondering if this was two people riffing or one person being very bored
Kroner
Trope
Buttocks
Chimp
Spoon
Turtle
Waffle
Tank
Rebel
Dallas
Sky
Siren
Sabre
Havoc
Elektra
Cyclone
Tower
Storm
Turbo
Ice
Diamond
Titan
Jade
Laser
Gold
Bronco
Blaze
Sunny
Nitro
Gemini
Zap
Lace
Malibu
waking up to a very interesting story about The Police collusion with populist fascism alleged to be taking place right now
waking up to a very interesting story about police collusion with populist fascism alleged to be taking place right now
Ebola panic grips nudist beach at Canary Islands as undocumented African boat beaches
syrup nipping urine disease
golden syrup showers
syrup topping urine disease
lickstarter
lickbait
nipple syrup urine disease
maple syrup urine disease
amplexus
clickbait
you don't see a Oasis wine potion here
lick Oasis wine potion
I woo icon's panties ilk
it's like piano cos I won
it's like onion aspic, ow
eating champagne waffles out of a chimp anus
that apparently champagne waffles are really good
it's like a cow's opinion
wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a dungeons & dragons letter
the Burger King comet
HL Tau surrounded by circles of dust and gas, with clear gaps indicating where planets are forming
Former basketball star Dennis Rodman claims he secured release of Kenneth Bae from North Korea
the bosom of Prof Einstein
the bosom of Arnold
the bosom of Abraham
sittin' on eggs is out, O W T, out!
Tot Pussy Bottleneck
Baby Bottleneck
Raymond Scott's "Wafflehouse" playing on your Wafflegraph
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Pornograph
goutytitsarsepinupworld dot wikia dot com
urinating syrup toppings, waffletastic
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want pissing to your pant erupt
X Men Origins Colon Sweet Pee
eating the X Man who could urinate syrup toppings
the sweet pee is not syrup
Sweet Pee
being the X Man who could urinate syrup toppings
urinating syrup toppings while beaming Peter Nippers
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want gouty tits arse pinup porn
if you could urinate syrup toppings you would have no regrets
it's a joke about time travel, although it isn't very good
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to urinate syrup toppings
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to insert grit up a pony, sup
not getting why you want to add "I'm really sorry" for regret number eighty eight thousand eight hundred and eighty eight
having just over four thousand regrets to learn how to duplicate regrets
I can't stop laughing and I'm an awful person, god damn you
I'm really sorry
I'm really sorry
everything you touch turns to shit
making an anagram in which each word makes the whole exponentially worse
"I'm really sorry" was going to be regret eighty eight thousand eight hundred and eighty eight, now you've ruined that for me as well
I'm really sorry
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to rape ruin tot pussy, ping
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as EGO
that in fairness to yourself you did have to look up Powerhouse to know what it was called and who wrote it
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing on your Phonograph whenever you want to put a spring in your step
that was pretty much where my mind went as soon as I hit enter
not being sure you know who Taylor Swift actually is, though from the description you're pretty sure you'll have heard one of her gramophones at some point
dopefirmseh dot ca
not being sure you know who Taylor Swift actually is, though from the description you're pretty sure you'll have heard one of her records at some point
deepfirmhos dot com
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil Taylor Swift's food again
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our food again
guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our fun again
drawing a picture of Kento being masturbatory totem poled by Chris Lydon, a walrus, Jack Greenmaven, and Fantwothousand
the very idea that Chris Lydon has thoughts hopes and dreams
beyond being a masturbatory totem
freedomship dot com
the very idea that Chris Lydon has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem
wanting to add "has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem" to Chris Lydon's wikipedia article, but guessing that Jack Greenmaven would just spoil our fun again
FLOREDA
America's wang
a Florida man offered a female undercover cop three dollars and a chicken dinner in exchange for sex, police report
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID
that rumors of a Fat Sailor Moon movie center around eleven hundred pound Lindsay Lohan and not four hundred and twenty pound Alexis Bledel, I mean duh
you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
Raymond Scott's "Super Woo, Eh" playing in your head whenever you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
the Super Bowl to gain attention
fantasy
pounds
gangbangs
Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" playing in your head whenever you try to imagine people enjoying deep end porn fantasies
that in your head canon the fatworld contributors are all wretchedly skinny malnourished nerds who hammer out their obesity fantasies in the same way that Israelis watch holocaust porn or closeted rednecks watch poor little white boy interracial gangbangs
fatgayasianworld dot wikia dot com
wanting to add "has thoughts hopes and dreams beyond being a masturbatory totem" to every fatworld article, and kind of a lot of other articles, just because it's good to be reminded of that occasionally
wondering if the contributors to fatworld are themselves morbidly obese and the whole thing is neatly explained as some kind of body horror thing stemming from their own despair
wanting to add "washes herself with a rag on a stick" to every fatworld article but suspecting this would simply play into the fantasy
waking up feeling like you've got monoxide poisoning even though the alarm isn't sounding
wondering if the DeLorean's unique door design allowed for easier access and egress for thousand pound women
break shattering weight and easily mobility
Beginning in nineteen ninety six the secret of Anna Nicole Smith's break shattering weight and easily mobility were widely known but it was Aniston who started the so called "Weight Inflation Trend" of the late nineties and early aughts
The DeLorean Motor Company is still operating and was one of the first companies, along with Apple, to use ad time during the Super Bowl to gain attention
the specificity of the weights given on fatworld is what really bugs me, as though the images of morbidly obese celebrities is not enough to get the boners up, but knowing that she weighs exactly seven hundred and seventy eight pounds is
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her mucus
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her food
the world will never seem clean again
idly clicking through pages on the fatworld wiki and just imagining forty shut ins masturbating to pictures of Jabba the Hutt in a dress
Her weight was conjecture until spring twenty fourteen when Swift confirmed that she weighed around six hundred fifty pounds
By the time of their engagemement Swift's weight had surged past five hundred and by the time of her wedding it was estimated she was weighed approximately five hundred eighty pounds
By twothousandeight, Swift's weight had hit four hundred pounds and was heavier than her mother
Swift weighed twohundred and fifty pounds when her music career began and was already heavier than most her age
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually bury her music
Taylor Swift wants fans to actually buy her music
that apparently burning eggshell is the most disgusting smell forgetting to put your balls in the dryer
that apparently burning eggshell is the most disgusting smell
forgetting to put your balls in the dryer
quitting PETA to join QFUB
Borscht Bitch Catnaps
Scratchbob Itchpants
pressure from PETA continues to mount
I like tshirts with a nice joke, like "Support Our Troops"
speculation is rife that Team Ikeda will be a no show in Paris after three consecutive veterinarians quit over safety concerns
commentator Andrew Zimmern, himself a former world champion Eiffel Towering center, described Ikeda's failure to properly grip the inside of the curve as a "rookie mistake" that was "inexcusable at that level of competition"
Paul Newman's gonna have ma' legs broke
it's time to mate the muppets on the muppet show tonight
at the Tokyo Towering Grand Prix in May of this year, Ikeda suffered a burnout on the fourth lap, which many attributed to a lack of adequate lubrication
sources close to Ikeda cite his failure to win the coveted "Sweatiest Ass in the World" title this year as one reason he may be off his game ahead of the Fiftieth Annual World Eiffel Towering Championship in Paris
it's sweatiness that I'm thinking of
it's sweetness that I'm thinking of
I'm the oat skimmer
I'm the moist maker
the moist maker
I'm an absolute beginner
I'm just your memory, I can't give you any new information
wondering if Kento Marek will be in the new Star Wars movie
Star Wars Colon Ewoks Recheat Fan
Star Wars Colon Anoraks Chew Feet
Star Wars Colon He's Nae A Wet Frock
Star Wars Colon Kento Face Rash, Ew
Star Wars Colon Choke Sweater Fan
For Reasons Unknown, Colon And Rectal Cancer Rates Are Rising In People Under Fifty
Indiana Davies
Star Hike
Star Force
Star Wars Colon Sweat For A Neck, Eh
dammnit
Star Force Colon Swan Feather Coke
Star Wars Colon The Force Awakens
fartworld is not a valid wikia
if you get the opportunity
using "leaving the bunch and taking your banana" as a euphemism
taking a banana off the bunch, dropping the bunch clumsily resulting in at least one banana being internally liquefacted, then leaving the bunch and taking your banana
most of it seems to be the work of Fantwothousand
Im The Doctor was banned for being unable to separate fantasy from reality
there are sixty registered users, though it's hard to tell how many are in it for the epic lulz, and a couple are obvious bots
wondering if the seven hundred plus awful photoshops of monstrously obese women are the work of one man, or if there are multiple people who jack off to the episodes of Friends where Monica wore the fat suit
deep throating freedom fries
eating fried peppers
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to keep eating, never stop eating
spooning Jewel's chin rolls
having impure thoughts about a four hundred and fifty pound Winona Ryder
The One Where Rachel Gains Over a Thousand Pounds
Her colossal weight gain throughout the years is one of a kind fantastic fable one would dream of
looking up Mariah Carey on fatworld
getting momentarily dragged into the fatworld rabbit hole
assymetrical gaming
I'm pretty sure they can hear us too
I've got nothing to say but it's OK
Canada is back to being an ethical, respected, shitty tundra
it's called a Schmorgesvein and it's elegantly cultural
all you do is collect and spend Canadough
Rune Haako
fatworld dot wikia dot com
choking on a very large, very sharp shard of ice in your drink
Lizard Limbs Turned into Genitalia
Bosch also injected Rodriguez with a "clear liquid substance in the buttocks," which he told him was "vitamins"
Seventy year old Englishman charged with attempting to smuggle $one hundred twenty million of cocaine into Ireland
Oldest NFL Cheerleader Arrested For Sex With Fifteen Year old Boy
urine glazed ham
liking your women like you like your ham, glazed with honey and smelling like urine
shaving an orifice with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
sharing an orifice with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
sharing an office with someone who smells like honey glazed ham and urine
munting
liking your women like you like your coffee, partially digested by cats
liking your women like you like your coffee, scalding you unexpectedly
liking your women like you like your coffee, in your lap suddenly
having coffee in your lap suddenly
You'll Never Believe What Jolly Oat Semen Looks Like Now, Eh!
You'll Never Believe What Enamel Joy Slot Looks Like Now, Eh!
seeing doughnut shops everywhere
You'll Never Believe What Haley Joel Osment Looks Like Now!
potassium cynanide, cheerio, lobster drunk Irishmen
drunk Irishevilmen
A Maine man has been charged with killing a suicidal English man by mailing him poisonous potassium cynanide, cheerio, lobster
drunk Irishmen
the alcoholism nature of your kind
skiing Hewn Dan, no homo
calling your foot "Hewn Dan"
calling your foot "Dawn Hen"
Menace Tooth Society
the ship that brought trannie hookers to America
calling your foot "New Hand"
the ship that brought prostitutes to America
going to the barber and asking for Phil Spector's Old Foul Swan but you ended up getting Art Garfunkel's Electrocuted Goose
Phil Spector's Old Foul Swan
Phil Spector's Wall of Wigs
Phil Spector's Wall of Brains
Phil Spector's Wall of Sound
wondering how often people respond to meeting James Taylor with anything but bored silence
wondering how often people respond to meeting James Taylor with "wow, former President James Taylor"
your love life's PUA
people telling you life was gonna be that way, but you didn't listen and now life is that way
The One With Phoebe's Or Ursula's Autopsy
having no way of knowing whether a new F#R#I#E#N#D#, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure
no one telling you life was gonna be that way
Whore of Babylon is the Revelation character sometimes considered to be Queen Elizabeth II, who is still the Head of State of Jamaica, or the papacy, or both
the Soviet government proposed that a causeway be built at the Tartar Strait to block cold water from flowing into the Sea of Japan therefore raising the temperature in areas around the Sea of Japan, desu ne, da
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his fist orgasm, is what I meant to write, and it probably would have been funnier
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his firt orgasm
a bat penis, uh
ah, penis tuba
HasPainTube, the new joint venture of WebMD, Youtube, and I Can Has Cheezburger
HasPainTube
tub penis, aha!
verdant soylent green
Peanut Shiba
vegan soylent green
putting salsa verde on soylent green
putting mignonette on hotkids
the Soviet government proposed that a causeway be built at the Tartar Strait to block cold water from flowing into the Sea of Japan therefore raising the temperature in areas around the Sea of Japan
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon putting mignonette on his erect hotdog as Kento looks on
putting tartar sauce on Chris Lydon's erect penis
putting mignonette on hotdogs
Parklife
telling a child that you want to be swallowed up by his Great Pit of Carkoon, but it's not a sex thing because you're not into vore
Anakin was into older women
A Canada man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Anakin Skywalker was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a youngling to have sex
feeling that having your own Boba Fett costume should be sufficient to put you on a sex offender registry
Hummingbirds Use Their Beaks as Weapons
putting tartar sauce on hash browns
I don't post on a vore forum
it does if you're posting on a vore forum
A Michigan man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Kit Fisto was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a child to have sex
in the guy's defense, telling a child that you want to be swallowed up by his Great Pit of Carkoon does not necessarily have a sexual meaning
Bryan Singer to direct Star Wars Episode VIII
Anij who is like an experienced woman taking a young man carefully to his first orgasm
A Michigan man dressed as the "Star Wars" character Boba Fett was arrested last week after he arranged to meet up with a child to have sex
teen spirit corn
homo fisting Winnie Cooper and then she turned out to be really hot
not finishing discovery
skiing hewn rift, no homo
homo fisting worn kin, eh
not marrying Winnie Cooper and then she turned out to be really hot
not finishing homework
sex corn and candy corn
The One Where Joey and Chandler Fall Out Forever Over Candy Corn
having bananas in your pyjamas and running down the stairs slamming your dick into your boobs and barfing and chasing teddybears
having bananas in your pyjamas and no idea why
having pockets in your pyjamas and no idea why
having a fantastic Halloween party ruined by a sudden Coldplay
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable imitation grain
ruing candy corn
having a fantastic coldsnap ruined by a sudden Halloween costume
having a fantastic Halloween costume ruined by a sudden coldsnap
that you will never be as dapper as Tim Gunn
ruining a friendship by admitting you like candy corn
ruing a friendship by admitting you like candy corn
having a favorite episode of that one sitcom you don't like all that much
Eddie Chapman
Kento was recently arrested for common assault after overhearing a younger fat gay asian man describing him as "a total swipe left"
Go's muffin top song
Kento's muffin top
that the fiftieth annual World Eiffel Towering Championship in Paris is only two months away and Kento has been looking pretty out of shape lately
Carlos the Tickle Monster
the death of Tom Magliozzi
having blue master balls
Joseph Beyrle
gotta catch your balls
having two master balls
Richard Branson 'Feathered' Hair System Deployed Prematurely Colon NTSB
Stalag porn
SpaceShipTwo 'Feather' Tail System Deployed Prematurely Colon NTSB
Ochre Porno Geldof
Pooh Corner Geldof
cooler than cans and warmer than buttocks
cooler than champagne and warmer than a chimp anus
cooler than dungeons and warmer than dragons
cooler than tall ships and warmer than space ships
#broken
warmer than hair and cooler than tumescence
#fixed
warmer than ice cream and cooler than the sun
cooler than ice cream and warmer than the sun
riding the Circle Line to Lust
riding the tube to Pooh Corner
the wonderful thing about tiggers, is tiggers can autofellate
getting a hunny job from a stuffed hooker in the dumpster behind Pooh Corner
theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Piglet stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished
oh, bother
turning tricks at Pooh Corner
mastering Objectivism as a baby
Veni Puke
The Mid Life Crises In The Hall
Justin Bieber to blast into virgin with Richard Branson
phones
the previous sentence is entirely complete
mastering object permanence but later reaching a zenlike state of affairs wherein never know
Vinni Pukh
Justin Bieber to blast into space with Virgin Galactic
never mastering object permanence as a baby
Troopers say Christopher Robin told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with Piglet over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because he weighs over forty pounds and is neutered
that all of the Kids in the Hall are in their fifties now
soaking Buck Naked in a mud bath with two female ensigns
Star Trek Colon Kento's Erection
soaking in the same mud bath buck naked with five male ensigns
soaking buck naked in a mud bath with two female ensigns
Troopers say Branson told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with SpaceshipTwo over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because she is weightless in space
Man Allegedly Thought It Was 'OK' To Have Sex With SpaceshipTwo
Troopers say Boggess told them he had "gentle sexual intercourse" with Piglet over the summer, but that he claimed it was acceptable because she weighs over forty pounds and is spayed
good grief
Man Allegedly Thought It Was 'OK' To Have Sex With Beagle
Branson 'needed trim' to find cause of spaceship crash
Branson 'determined' to find cause of spaceship crash
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while killing women"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while kissing women"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while thrilling women"
Andre the shit demon has a posse
being slain by a shit demon
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "reveal shit demon"
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "to pose for pictures while holding women"
the company said it would put people in space by two thousand ought seven
Virgin Galactic's Branson vows "the dream lives on"
anta odeli uta
The Free speech of Free men has won over the Elders' thousand year hypnosis
being slain by a poop wight
I've established four republics, and now I'm going to sour here being slain by a pus balrog
Black Anus Rzeszewski
Anus Rzeszewski
Janusz Rzeszewski
I've established four republics, and now I'm going to sour here
being slain by a pus balrog
Lidia Rzeszewska
being slain by a smegma gnome
Agata Rzeszewska
being slain by a booger elf
being slain by a barf mandragora
there's some up your nose, but it's not yours
laying down with a puke imp and rising with puke all over you, in your hair, in your buttcrack, between your fingers, even in your armpits, it's disgusting
being slain by a puke imp
"The chocolate is real!"
the one with Ross' Hutt banquet
the stormtroopers in Aelita looking fucking amazing
Ross' Hutt banquet
not getting a minute all day
A puke imp has been forced to apologise for apparently calling the head of a Christian charity a paedophile on Twitter
A Ukip MEP has been forced to apologise for apparently calling the head of a Christian charity a paedophile on Twitter
squatternut bosh
eating jacks and sea franks with Jackson C Frank
eating franks and beans with Benjamin Franklin
wood fireback
Backdoor Wipe
Backdoor Wife
Champion Butt Plug Hour
Backstage Wife
Champion Spark Plug Hour
The Adventures of Smilin' Jack
The Fleischmann's Yeast Hour
Captain Stubby's Special Delivery
Captain Stubby and the Buccaneers
in the end, the only advertisers he could still get were peanut butter brands
they never should have given him a second chance with Don McNeill's Cruel Anal Lab
that's why it was taken off the air
Don McNeill's Breast Fuck Lab
Don McNeill's Breakfast Club
seeing Richard Branson going into a bathroom stall with a catheter in one hand and a bottle of blue milk in the other
Arthur Fortune
abusing your arse privileges
when he heard what happened, he was so surprised that blue milk shot out of his arse, cheerio
when he heard what happened, he was so surprised that blue milk shot out of his nose
guessing that Richard Branson's Rtwo unit had a bad motivator
going on the Mojave Slutwalk
A SLUT Galactic spacecraft intended to carry tourists crashed in the Mojave desert due to an "in flight anomaly" during a test flight Friday, killing one person, which you had NOTHING TO DO WITH, eighttwooneseveneight
A Virgin Galactic spacecraft intended to carry tourists crashed in the Mojave desert due to an "in flight anomaly" during a test flight Friday, killing one person, which you had NOTHING TO DO WITH, fourninefiveonenine
a metronome and a very pretty girl
playing Gender Dungeons & Sex Dragons with CIS Duncan
playing Sex Dungeons & Gender Dragons with Tim Duncan
never getting around to building that sex dungeon that the dust told you to build
never getting around to building that sex dungeon
When kids in failing schools begged Jerry Brown for rescue, HE BETRAYED THEM
wearing cloths that accentuate your Benjamin's large buttocks
wearing cloths that accentuate your large buttocks
Batman's Treaty
clowning around because you have nothing else, not even sleeping around, which frankly sounds like a lot more fun
vegan carnivore knowledge
carnivore knowledge
carnival knowledge
carnal knowledge
never getting to plow you, never getting to plow all about you, never getting to ride you, never getting to hope you ride me
never getting to know you, never getting to know all about you, never getting to like you, never getting to hope you like me
getting around to drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
never getting around to drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
getting around to it
never getting around to it
young cygnets
inexplicably using a Middle English word in place of the modern equivalent
young signets
something something Ross Gellar something peck the eyholes of his skull to violate him like he violated young boys
pecking out Ross E Gellar's eye with your beak when you wereswan
drawing a picture of Ross making out with Rachel as she begins to slowly sprout feathers, her lips gradually elongating into a knifelike beak that then pierces his skull through his eye socket
being slain by a wereswan
puking that whole thing of puke on Chris Lydon's erect anything and puking forever
WE WERE SWAN A BEAK
licking that whole thing of kim chee off of Chris Lydon's erect penis and puking in bed
WE WERE ON A BREAK
Bumgarner
at this point I have completely lost all enthusiasm for the hobby
he's not allowed to fly it without my supervision
working part time in a five and dime
Celebrity Wedding Planner
bottoming for Tinkling Hoe in Ass Enameler Job VII
bottoming for James Earl Bones in The Loin King VII
Hepster's Dictionary
spoiling The Lion King for Hayden Christensen, apparently
you cannot possibly be genuinely mad at me for saying that The Lion King has got sand in it
wondering if poor James Earl Jones ever gets any sand blowjobs
it's not racist, the sand spelled out SEX
that's racist
James Earl Jones was in The Lion King, he can't have a too much of a problem with sand
wondering if poor James Earl Jones ever gets any sand blowback
wondering if people actually do for real send sand to Hayden Christensen and whether he still finds that amusing
trying to complain in writing to your ISP, only to find that they probably closed down all operations in your country, as in, literally all operations bar the already running hardware which is presumably maintained by gnomes, seven years ago
sand lover
Rifftrax Anakin Skywalker I Don't Like Sand
I like the prequels
see, there IS continuity
always having found it strange that Vader never elected to go down to Tatooine and lead the search for the missing droids himself, but realizing that with the release of the prequels his motivation for staying behind was finally revealed
wondering if Vader would have held on to power as long as he did if his intense, irrational hatred of sand had been more well known
Kento Ozzel
coming out of hyperspace too soon, if you know what I mean
a lunatic obsessed with shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye when they were a kid
large cupped Gen Arnold
a lunatic obsessed with shooting the sly alabaster pebble
a lunatic obsessed with shooting the best baseball player
New Ad Urges Hipsters To Go To Applebee's Ironically
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Jose Canseco Shoots Himself in the Hand Semicolon Could Lose Finger
spooning Prof Einstein's large cups
large cupped Prof Einstein
getting one boob diode, beep boop
self describing as "unconcerned with a lot of popular culture" as though that isn't in fact true for everybody, given how much there is to take in at any one time, and now finding that you should probably self describe as "a pretentious asshole"
tracing the rise in popularity of zombie apocalypse stories to an earlier point than Hurricane Katrina but admittedly being unconcerned with a lot of popular culture and zombie fiction in particular
tracing the rise in popularity of zombie apocalypse stories to Hurricane Katrina and the breakdown of society in its aftermath
bid on oboe ode
one boob diode
boo, boo indeed
if Homer had used some protection we'd all be pooping roses on easy street
yeah, you know what, let's just go with graceful d, I don't even know any more
graceful d
The FTC is suing AT&T for throttling its unlimited data customers
just now realizing that Tiger Woods is a pun
right wing politician says things other right wing politicians want to hear, even though the evidence doesn't really stack up
UK benefits a magnet to migrants, says Calais mayor
those chicks not even knowing the name of your band
teasing Moses in the desert
Haloquadratum
tucking with the animals
Priapulida
if I could fuck with the animals, suck with the animals, grunt and blow and tuck with the animals, I'd be Kento
if I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals, I'd be a spambot
OpSiCLxSeRwMJqFaOV
getting your booty on the floor tonight, making my day
wondering if there is a more boring thing than waiting for pasta to cook
The UK would not support future search and rescue operations to prevent migrants drowning in the Mediterranean Sea, the Foreign Office has said
ANALBAT used SCREECH! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
nobody who had lived with interactive anal bats would seriously imagine they formed part of any kind of afterlife
having spent your life believing that in death you would enter an afterlife where everyone was interactive anal bats
Pope Francis declares Evolution and Big Bang theory are great
having spent your life believing that in death you would enter an afterlife where everyone was an attractive lesbian
Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are right and God isn't 'a chic mama gnawing a tit wad'
Ukip has said its campaigners posed for a picture with Britain First activists by "meat ski" and did not understand "tofu through a preteen"
Pope Francis declares evolution and Big Bang theory are right and God isn't 'a magician with a magic wand'
Ukip has said it "accidentally on purpose" shares aims, methods and political groupings in the European Parliament with far right groups
Ukip has said its campaigners posed for a picture with Britain First activists by "mistake" and did not understand "the nature of the group"
Patrjc Stevvart
J, Clavdjvs
J Twatto Weatherman
going out, letting yourself go seeking twat absolutely
going out, letting yourself get absolutely soaking wet
J Watto Weatherman
eating toad in the hole being towed from a hole
eating toad in the hole in the hole
medical and dental officers, who were commissioned directly into the Army and held army ranks, and those remaining in the FANY, known as Free FANYs
Lydia Pilcher has a toolkit and she's not afraid to use it
being flunked by your first love instructor because you didn't put in enough cruel anal lab time
firstfuckservices dot com
going all the way with your mother's fist love instructor
fistfuckservices dot com
I should have just gone all the way with the first regret
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "fist fuck instructor"
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "fist love instructor"
the clerical lotus slit eaters
cello cultist's lair
clerical lotus slit
the hammer is carved from walrus ivory
mashing the sack on a table with a hammer, BAMBAMBAM
what's even weirder is that I was thinking about that as my next 'move'
scrotal cellulitis
inflating the sack
depilating the sack
gnawing the sack
chinning the sack
facing the sack
a much updated ruin from a much outdated style
Kirk was named "James" after his mother's "first love instructor"
fake clowns caused panic across France in a spreading phenomenon that has led to violence and a response by vigilantes
Darth Vader failed in an attempt to be elected Ukraine's prime minister, unable to muster the votes despite a high profile campaign
Cinema workers celebrating victory in a campaign to adopt the London Living Wage were today hit by news that around a quarter of the workforce is now facing the sack
competitive milt drinking
competitive milk drinking
memorising every Sane Owl Trek episode
In November two thousand five, controversy arose over a video showing Royal Marines fighting naked and intoxicated as part of a hazing ritual, cheerio
Tina Cubron y Diar has got a filthy mouth
wondering whether to believe MerriamWebster or tinacubronydiar's definition of 'honeyfuggle'
being honeyfuggled by a dishonest beekeeper
being honeyfuggled
the internet is romancing special needs
the internet is fucking retarded
the Sane Owl Trek
it's funny, because it's a joke but it's not funny
the Skeleton War
Kento's night wurst ream
Kento's wurst nightmare
Kento's worst nightmare
having a couple dozen guys over for an all male daisy chain and having nothing to serve them but a pot of burned Bolognese
timing yo marinara for the mini tiara man orgy
marinara timing is the fastest growing sector of the inner city sauce assistance industry
man orgies are the fastest growing sector of the party planning industry
timingyomarinaraservices dot com
Eldest 'Honey Boo Boo' daughter reveals she was molestation victim
minitiaramanorgyservices dot com
aslanimmigrationservices dot com
aryanimmigrationservices dot com
the primary supply and service hub for Canada's crude oil, oil sands and other northern resource industries
these three pedophiles from Alberta are
These three pedophiles from Alberta will have their way with you unless you damage them all with one move
small ears are a price to pay
Zeus cursing you with small ears for ear fucking a nymph
Washington state school shooting victim Zoe Galasso was 'nice and awesome', friends say
WINNING an hour
being tragically cursed by curiously small ears throughout your life
hearing your own heart beat
getting an ear job
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the woman losing an ear
the amazing Regret Index is an equal opportunity foundation
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the ladyboy
getting two boob jobs, twice the boobs, twice the woman
losing an ear
drawing a picture of Orlando Bloom and Benedict Arnold having pillow fights and gossiping about boys together
losing an hour
dear old Harold Wilson
soggy knickers
sodding knickers
Looper, a XXX Parody
getting a boob job, the Orlando Bloom special
drawing a picture of past you and present you braiding your penises together while future you watches from afar and masturbates
getting a bloody bra job
your pasta is in another castla
dreaming of a the pasta, as though a you like a the pasta
dreaming of the past, as though past you and present you are two idiotic ghosts trying to haunt one another
well, shit
bloody bras
dreaming of the past, as though past you a
you were only supposed to take the bloody bra off
getting an Italian boob job
not really enjoying the sensation
forgetting how much you hated some one until catching yourself dreaming of having a stand up argument with them almost two decades later
the Gnomes of Zurich
Where the Wild Things Are Colon Foursome
Mortal Kombat Kolon Armageddon
Mortal Kombat Two Colon Annihilation
BloodRayne Two Colon Deliverance
getting a boob job
the Orlando Bloom Special
wondering if there is a special term for an Eiffel Tower where two pirates peg leg a man
rubbing your boobs when you drink champagne at church
Kevin Smith's Musk
les Orphelins de Duplessis
Kevin Smith's Tusk
running away will never make me free
Free Willy Colon Escape From Pirate's Cove
Undisputed Three Colon Redemption
Anacondas Colon Trail of Blood
Road Trip Colon Beer Pong
Marley & Me Colon The Puppy Years
Lost Boys Colon The Tribe
Dirty Dancing Colon Havana Nights
Starship Troopers Three Colon Marauder
Wild Things Colon Foursome
that on further consideration, if two women are pegging a man simultaneously, there is nothing to prevent them from raising their hands together over him and forming the classic 'Eiffel Tower' outline
Wild Things Colon Diamonds in the Rough
a fortythree pound male named Lucky Pierre who in nineteenninetynine led reporters, police officers, photographers, park rangers, tourists, and at least one helicopter pilot in a chase across Central Park
believing that would constitute in the first instance either a daisy chain or a Lucky Pierre
Bambiraptor
wondering if there is a special term for an Eiffel Tower where two women peg a man
sexy eiffel towering costume
sexy ebola nurse costume
referring to perms as "pig loop"
knapweeds and broomrapes
bedknobs and broomsticks
dog eggs and flew goop
the two ingredients of squirming puppies
when a man and a lady love each other very much, the lady lets the man put his lip goop on her eggs
referring to sperm as "lip goop"
you have to eat ALL the eggs
eggs and lip goop
poop and giggles
Video footage of the creature crawling around a home was taken by Bobby Brown, who said he simply "picked her up and put her outside" after filming it, adding "it was my prerogative"
the two ingredients of squirming babies
Wolf spider filmed carrying haul of squirming babies on its back the two ingredients of faith, truth and hope
Wolf spider filmed carrying haul of squirming babies on its back
the two ingredients of faith, truth and hope
THIS ROOM IS AN ILLUSION AND IS A TRAP DEVISUT BY SATAN
beads
eclipsed Nipper
pre iced nipples
purpled nurples
Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus
pierced nipples
gumming your nuts, om nom nom
gumming your guts, om nom nom
numbing your guts with nuts and gum
purchasing Buttfuckiny from the natives for a handful of anal beads
drawing a picture of Anakin Skywalker tearfully eating a big bowl of sand while a very grumpy Master Obi Wan looks on
lending your moot points to a dishonest IVchanner
nuts and gum
mo spitoon
moot points
Marysville Pilchuck truthers
Iron Fist
Cheek Pouch
Kloakensosse
Swalot
Gulpin
Sticky Hold
Liquid Ooze
Big Pricks
having big pecks but never lifting your arms
Ppl sell stories to the tabloid everyday that r false!
putting the use in Massachusetts
putting the ass in Massachusetts
It could be that Speedo is still making swimwear in the twenty fourth century
Buttfuckiny, New Jersey
Buttfuckiny, Massachusetts
BIG BOOBS are something you knead, not something you spoon
Buttfuckiny, Maine
BIG BOOBS are something you have, not something you use
BIG PECKS are something you have, not something you use
Big Boobs
butt fuckiny
SWANNA used BIG PECKS! You were ASLEEP!
wondering what percentage of housecats are named after anime characters butt fuckiny
Big Pecks
spooning Jewel's boobs when she runs down the stairs
wondering what percentage of housecats are named after anime characters
butt fucking
Fireman Paff left the Eiffel Towering before halftime, and he would retire his role as the trio's unofficial mascot following the butt fucking
Misty's ace lips rule
Fireman Ed left the game before halftime, and he would retire his role as the team's unofficial mascot following the butt fumble
a sentient species from Skor II known for collecting, trading, and haggling
Fireman Ed left the game before halftime, and he would retire his role as the team's unofficial mascot following the game
the butt fumble
glass in your shit, told a tale on you
glass in your shit
shitting in your glasses
telling that girl she was "really cute, in a Johnny Five in the first hour of Short Circuit kind of way"
sitting on other people's glasses, if you know what I mean
being unable to understand how James Corden keeps getting work
shitting on your glasses
sitting on your glasses
Putin Ecrivain
Ed O'Neill not getting enough work
saying "lazy" when you really meant "waffletastic"
telling that girl she was "really cute, in an Ally Sheedy in the first hour of Short Circuit kind of way"
saying "lazy" when you really meant "ashamed"
wondering if the internet has already provided that crossover of Short Circuit and Alive that you're too lazy to create
number five is alive
number fourteen is completely true
it doesn't hurt worse than birthing an obese alien baby from your behind
Predators focus on finding skulls
Predators focus on finding consistency
Mama June of 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' reportedly dating sex offender
drawing a picture of Go smearing hot grits on his genitals as Natalie Portman looks on
the vena tarantella
grits, by yves saint laurent
grits by a man
roodypoo
becoming a pocket monster mistress
becoming a pocket monster master
walruswans
Social Dances of North America III
Beginning Improvising
being on the pokemon council but not receiving the rank of master
becoming a Pokemon Master
Cilan's special lure
Fading Dike Aided Kento Rape
Go Ikeda, naked and petrified
this is disturbing, if i wanted to consume semen I would just do gay pornography, who would've known i was consuming semen through Starbucks
There are reports that Stanford University had a study showing that eating grits by a man increases the likelihood of having gay children
Scott Bakula's fistula
Scott Bacula Factulas
Scott Bakula playing the balalaika with a baculum in a balaclava whilst eating baklava
nicknaming Scott Bakula's penis the Vascular Tarantula
lending your spatula to Scott Bakula
Scott Bakula entering the regret vernacular
that Scott Bakula would make a spectacular Dracula
wondering if Scott Bakula fired the shot that took Jackson C Frank's macula
wondering if Scott Bakula is going to be a Dracula for Halloween
knowing for a fact that Scott Bakula does indeed piledrive Miss Daisy in an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula piledrives Miss Daisy in an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula drives an Acura
wondering if Scott Bakula likes balaclavas
wondering if Scott Bakula likes baklava
Jack Horkheimer
capping it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic
wondering if Scott Bakula has a baculum
wondering if Stephen Fry has a baculum
being eager to find out if ewoks have baculums, which is weird, because you're not eager to find out if wookiees have baculums
wondering if ewoks have baculums
something milking Ke$ha
not really wanting to find out if wookiees have baculums
Admiral Aynbar
Lando Calrasian
wondering if wookiees have baculums
being torn between "Kento Fett" and "Jango Fat Gay Asian"
Goda
Fatto
Kentooine
the Boston Eve Classic Podcast
Biggs Darklydon
Chewbaculum
Queen Ikeda
Princess Lydon
Obi Wan Kentobi
Miss Chanandler Bong
RTwo Kento
Han Kento
something something milking Ke$ha
thinking Ke$ha should start a milk$hake franchise, assuming the anagram didn't make her head explode
Kento Fisto
Darth Kento
Kento Kento Kento, I made you fat and gay
Ke$ha once $wore under oath that Dr Luke did not $exually a$$ault her in newly relea$ed court document$
Kesha once swore under oath that Dr Luke did not sexually assault her in newly released court documents
female masturbation
Kento the Hutt
three thousand two hundred and eighty eight days
Kento's legs was his testicles and not a walrus
Camembear used STINK! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Camembert raises a stink after 'terroir' attack
trading your Cruel Anal Kadabras for a Drawking with Double Team
some things just can't be fixed
drawking a picture of Kento smearing bath caulk on his genitals as Bob the Builder looks on
Byggmester Bob
Bobu to Hataraku BooBooz
Bob le bricoleur
Canada raises alert after 'terror' attack
Jane Goodall insisting that Gary Larson eats shit
Jane Goodall inferring that Gary Larson eats shit
Jane Goodall implying that Gary Larson eats shit
SCPIPT SUPERVISOR
cruel anal kadabras
shutterbuggery
leaving your Kadabra and your labrador alone together
for nothing reason
for something reason
call it observational bias
actually not being sure that the mass you observed between Kento's legs was his testicles and not a walrus
for something reason knowing that Gengars, of all extant pokemon, have the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Kento must have ENORMOUS testicles then
for something reason knowing that Kento, of all extant primates, has the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Gengar used REAM! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
being Gengarbanged
actually not being sure of that last regret as soon as you submitted it and now suspecting you conflated gorillas and chimps into a single super ape
for something reason knowing that gorillas, of all extant primates, have the largest testicles and smallest penises relative to body mass
Gary Larson implying that Jane Goodall fucks gorillas
drawing a picture of Kadabra being TP'd by Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar
that's just what the trainers say to get your attention
occult Pokemon crave anal thrice
an evil, occult Pokemon character
Yungerer
feelings that elongate to you must be protected
feelings that eatlong to you must be protected
feelings that belong to you must be protected
wondering if Kento ever watches Stephen Fry in stuff and pretends that it was him instead
A mystery clown is scaring children in Portsmouth by lurking silently in streets and shops and stroking people
obligatory Eiffel Towering parrot regret
it's not right to finger somebody's shithole if you have no intention of marrying them
James Randi and an Astrologer
Fibbing Bear
it's not right to make out with somebody if you have no intention of marrying them
telling that girl in the Bronx who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her shithole
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the Bronx of her" to show you her vagina
Eiffel Towering Kento with Chris Lydon
Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
getting Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
getting Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus when you're basically asleep on your feet already
reaming B Piper
doing exercise when you're basically asleep on your feet already
getting a taco job from a racoon in the dumpster behind Taco Bell
beaming R Piper
raccoon frozen burrito
raccoon taco
bear pimping, eh
bearing pimp, eh
joining the raccoon taco fraternity to do the raccoon
joining the raccoon coat fraternity to do the raccoon
beaming H Piper
the potent odour from male mink urine was possibly luring keen nosed kids to their deaths
the potent odour from male mink urine was possibly luring keen nosed dogs to their deaths
Ass Goblins of Auschwitz
drinking the shithole in Mexico
people who were in their eighties in the twenties
Robert Z'Dar prize awarded to Jay Leno
Chuck Swangione
A Honking Cecum
Chuck Mangione
people who were in their twenties in the eighties
the Bronx is a shithole
A male giraffe will headbutt a female in the bladder until she urinates, then taste her urine to determine whether she is ovulating
Mark Twain Prize Awarded to Jay Leno
it's a vicious circle, in which you roam
having statistically non significant regrets
having too few regrets to mention yet mentioning them anyway
even a fool learns to love
Comme d'habitude
wondering if there was something in the Bronx that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
being truculent, you piece of shit
having a periodic chart of all the elements stencilled on your butt
being truculent
drinking the Bronx in Mexico
finding out that 'Fat Gay Asians VII' is not in fact the adaptation of 'Catcher in the Guy'
having a periodic chart of all the elements stencilled on your ceiling
meeting Bronx Peppers
finding out that 'Field of Dreams' is not in fact the adaptation of 'Catcher in the Rye'
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in the Bronx in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney rookie police officer is shot with a BB gun
that you're suddenly very interested in the champagne out of the Bronx trope
floating in the soup
shooting Jackson C Frank in the Bronx with a BB gun when you were a punk
A punk with a BB gun was arrested after shooting a rookie police officer in the Bronx on Saturday night
If a stripper can make a decision that's more responsible than the CDC, then surely other people can make those decisions, too
Winnipeggers react after Vatican rebuffs Pope's views on gays
Benedict Arnold getting breast implants
getting borscht implants
standing still on tenth street
young legends die all the time
making your own bemusement
saying "gently amusing" when you really meant something like "bemusing"
a major blaze at Didcot B Power Station
finding elective cosmetic surgery gently amusing but understanding that there are very real and deep seated feelings driving people to undergo it
trying to get rhinoplasty but instead being Eiffel Towered by Sushruta and a rhino
Ancient Scottish walrus 'first to have Eiffel Tower'
getting testicle implants
Ancient Scottish fish 'first to have sex with own gender'
The very first act of copulation was done sideways, square dance style
Ancient Scottish fish 'first to have sex'
getting breast implants
working in the lab, late one night when the walrus said "hey buddy don't you be no square"
working in the lab, late one night when the warden said "hey buddy don't you be no square"
this is a chemist's, not a joke shop
hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house
i dot imgur dot com slash RIQToUl dot jpg
i dot imgur com ninePinineKtwoz dot jpg
going in is much worse
not knowing if it's going in or out or which is worse
i dot imgur dot com slash hgoXkXL dot jpg
defining the period 'forever' as 'the single night it takes for your nightmares to reach into reality and destroy you'
that's gonna be in my nightmares forever
i dot imgur dot com slash jSoRXru dot jpg
i dot imgur dot com slash HRGqqbD dot jpg
that you always preferred SimAssAgue to Fatmincer
that you always preferred SimSausage to Fatmincer
A student from Lewd Area has spent two years building a viral owl turd he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
A student from Lewd Area has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
yachtcritic dot info
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Fatmincer
the good old days before the ghost town
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Firm Thatcher Ass in the video game Minecraft
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Tan Icy Tit in the video game Minecraft
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Tiny Attic in the video game Minecraft
hasbians
yestergays
A student from Delaware has spent two years building a virtual world he has named Titan City in the video game Minecraft
A huge inflatable sculpture inspired by a sex toy has been sabotaged days after it was installed in Paris Hilton
A huge inflatable sculpture inspired by a sex toy has been sabotaged days after it was installed in Paris
Fisting Scent wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questing fingers
Romania's brutal communist era secret police received covert six figure payments from Ikea as part of the Swedish group's deals with a local furniture manufacturer
Poopack Shakur
Catholic synod colon Pope Francis setback on gay policy
Meninme
Fisting Scent
wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questing fingers
wondering if anybody wants to play twenty questions
Cool James Loves Cock
#Stephen Collins Reportedly Won't Be Prosecuted in Child Investigation Molestations
#inadvertenthashtag
#Stephen Collins Reportedly Won't Be Prosecuted in Child Molestation Investigations
Fifty Bent
Wu Wang Clan
The Notorious FAG
Lil' Quim
Dr Gay
Homosexual Diddy
Snoop Dongy Dongg
getting a recording contract from Barren Pepsi P in the studio behind Steak n Shake
Guys Love Cool James
dick cock
dick hop
hip cock
Barren Pepsi P really opened the door for a lot of alternative hip hop artists
giant floppy cocks
baby got delicate trapezoids
When the pimp's in the crib man, giant floppy cocks, giant floppy cocks, giant floppy cocks
putting 'em in the stirrups
wondering if the growing acceptance of homosexuality in society has prepared the agricultural world for a gay farmer who talks about loving enormous hens
loving enormous socks
loving enormous cocks, no Kento
loving enormous cocks, no homo
loving enormous cocks
Chozen
wondering if the growing acceptance of homosexuality in society has prepared the hip hop world for a gay rapper who talks about loving enormous cocks
wondering which female body parts Sir Mix a Lot would have mused about if his career had lasted much longer
Benedict Arnold putting 'em on the glass
telling me no lies
putting 'em on the glass
being hooked to a machine just to keep your junk from sprouting mouths
being hooked to a machine just to keep your mouth from spouting junk
not wanting to sleep, in case you accidentally unleash a Tulpa with Firm Thatcher Ass and Benedict Arnold Boobs, and it starts chasing you down stairs and barfing
The appearance of Firm Thatcher Ass at the end of the Long Winter was one of the first signs that Aslan's power was at work in Narnia, and that the Witch's power was weakening
remembering being so excited as a small child that you would stay up in the hope of seeing Firm Thatcher Ass at the foot of your bed
Yes, Virginia, there is a Firm Thatcher Ass
that, like all memories from your childhood, your recollections of Firm Thatcher Ass are kind of cloudy, but you seriously doubt that you ever truly believed in Firm Thatcher Ass
no longer believing in Firm Thatcher Ass
Utwo's Bono Says "I am Firm Thatcher Ass"
giving her the vegan D
the vegan Vegan D virus
the Vegan D virus
Utwo's Bono Says "I am Father Christmas"
Utwo's Bono Says Glaucoma Is Reason for Trademark Sunglasses
history would be very different if Benedict Arnold had had a nice rack
The Utah National Guard and the Utah Department of Public Safety on Friday both were investigating how and why their personnel appeared in a video with British bikini models
drokkin' jays
feeding on your hungry JAYS
feeding on your hungry eyes
We thought there was more juice that we could get out of them, but we were juggling a lot of balls in the air, and sometimes balls don't drop for a long time
pondering Babar the Elephant with Ponda Baba in a pond in Babar, Algeria
Vienna sausage meaning nothing to you
Boyd "Bible" Swan
clam juice snowcones
beating off Paris Hilton and Roman Polanski in Vienna Sausage VII
beating off rivals including Paris, Rome and Vienna
Ponda Baba
the Pornhub statisticians are offering a unique look at the way that members of the fairer sex get turned on with everyone's favorite porn site
A four year National Theatre of Wales project has failed to be washed off by the rain as planned, look you now
An Oregon man today took a stuffed animal off a Walrusmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the feces covered item to a store shelf, police report
doing mentionables to a stuffed animal
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A STUFFED HORSEMAN BABY
sex acts, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention
I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal
guessing what it was from the context
A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate covered item to a store shelf, police report
Achy Jet Lungs
Ke$ha's alleged rape by Dr Luke took place when $he wa$ a virgin colon $ource
Kesha's alleged rape by Dr Luke took place when she was a virgin colon source
Thy Clean Jugs, even
They Clean Jugs
Jungle Yachts
the British tabloids will have a field day
getting "people soiled our green!" for the first time
if somebody's in here, you're in for some serious ass forkin'
Iechyd
Bendith arnoch chi
gesundheit
Jasconius
aspidochelone
drawing a picture of Stephen Collins and Roman Polanski creeping up on Misty, unaware that she is actually just a Giant Mistyfish's lure
wanting to make a 'Misty's special lure' joke but being torn about whether to go the classic, well worn, tried and true Roman Polanski route, or the flashy, exciting new Stephen Collins direction
that not only has 'Misty's special lure' already been added, but according to your autofill cache you were the one to add it actually thinking it said wee little panties
that not only has 'Misty's special lure' already been added, but according to your autofill cache you were the one to add it
actually thinking it said wee little panties
wee little panties
MISTYway
Brockway
Ogdenville
North Haverbrook
wee little parties, I'll chin ye
wee little parties
humping berk relented
Engelbert Humperdink
putting Berts in non Newtonian fluids and humping dinks with Engelbert Humperdink
wombling freepants gnomes
overpants gnomes
underpants gnomes
losing the power of speaks
rustling crows with Russell Crowe
spru!king chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
actually kind of wanting to hear UTwo's cover of B Witched's 'C'est la Vie'
spruiking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them
David Cameron distanced himself from the comments, saying they "were not the views of anyone in government"
he said some workers were "not worth the full wage"
Welfare minister Lord Freud has apologised for "foolish and offensive" remarks in which he suggested people with disabilities could be paid less than the minimum wage
wondering if Kento ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Chris Lydon, what kind of parody of a tower have I made myself into"
the very notion that a man as self righteous as Bono would invoke a higher power
wondering if Kento ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Christ, what kind of parody of a man have I made myself into"
wondering if Bono ever catches a glimpse of his own reflection and thinks "Christ, what kind of parody of a man have I made myself into"
reissuing the album 'War' with a cover of B Witched's 'C'est la Vie' in place of 'Sunday Bloody Sunday', then withdrawing it from sale because Irish people do not perform sex, masturbation, or fellatio
Bono has withdrawn 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' from sale, saying that the Irish people have never engaged in sectarian violence
Bono has defended Ireland's tax laws, saying that they have resulted in prosperity for the Irish people
Utwo frontman chased down street by German anarchists shouting 'Make Bono pay tax'
The first stop is most certainly not Chicago
drawing a picture of Thom Yorke holding up a copy of the Chicago Tribune with the headline 'Bono rims Thom Yorke'
shouting 'Bono rims Thom Yorke'
shouting 'Bono rims hat yoke'
shouting 'Make Bono history'
Utwo frontman chased down street by German anarchists shouting 'Make Bono history'
bottoming for Tommy Troutbeck and Wilbur Rice in Vanilla Fudge Mountain VII
wolves with attitude
Whipple Scrumpets attacking you with trumpets
Whipple Scrumpets
Oompa Loompas sticking things up your jumper
seeing hi res Stephen Fry
podcasters with decrepitude
teenagers with attitude
Two Boston Power Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition
Two Boston Park Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition, wicked pic a nic basket
Two Boston Park Rangers stabbed on Boston Common, one in critical condition
getting a lick job from a fat gay Asian in the dumpster behind Fat Gay Asian's
starting a speakeasy called Fat Gay Asian's
INSTALLING SACRIFICIAL ANODES in the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP to PREVENT ELECTROPLATING
ELECTROPLATING the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP
no one can learn a thing from kento except not to be kento
regret one seven two five three
the NICKEL Palace of EMPEROR FZBNCP
the COBALT Palace of King Eyambo
the Iron Palace of King Eyambo
as Tim goes bi
sometimes a spambot is just a spambot
wondering if Spambot is just Welsh
Mae'r term yr Hen Ogledd yn cyfeirio at diriogaeth teyrnasoedd Brythonaidd yr ardal sydd erbyn heddiw yn rhan o ogledd Lloegr a de'r Alban yn y cyfnod yn dilyn ymadawiad y Rhufeiniaid, sef o tua'r bumed i'r seithfed ganrif, isn't it
being hired as Stephen Fry's birthday clown
being hired as Stephen Fry
calling yourself dash
Yr Hen Ogledd
seeing a street magician who as part of his act deep throated Stephen Fry
seeing a street magician who as part of his act deep throated a metre long balloon
Stephen Fry Colon Girls who had sex with fourteen rock stars wouldn't call themselves dash they were proud of it
bottoming for Dick Magician in Cups and Balls VII
Dick Magician
Veteran homes up magic surprise after signing rip
Magician rips up homeless veteran after surprising sign
Magician surprises homeless veteran after ripping up sign, no home
Magician surprises homeless veteran after ripping up sign
old
Counselor Cuckold #Two
Counselor Cuckold
Heavier Babies Do Better in Bobsleigh
new
The Gang Bang Theory
Stephen Fry Colon Girls who had sex with rock stars at fourteen wouldn't call themselves dash they were proud of it
Heavier Babies Do Better in School
Duck Magician
VjUeDFRdemC
Dark Magician
it's hard to grasp
how could a walrus possibly use a computer
the walrus would update it
the very notion that a dead Chris Lydon would even be able to decouple from Kento, let alone update his eifflr
reading the top of Chris Lydon's eifflr account to see if he really died
Ikeda survives bottoming for dead podcaster for as many as three days
Ikeda survives being trapped under singing father for as many as three days
Infant survives being trapped under dead father for as many as three days
London is at the forks of the nonnavigable Thames River, approximately halfway between Toronto, Ontario and Detroit, Michigan
London be rainy, cheeriyo
horse wolf blitzing yourself out of boredom
patriotism is not enough
brithdays
birthdays
London be rainy, yo
playing with someone else out of boredom
playing with yourself out of boredom
seeing a guy on Tattooine with a tattoo that just says "Sand"
running a train on a guy with a tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a tattoist on the train who just tattoos dongs
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo who just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a dong tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo that just says "Dongs"
seeing a guy on the train with a tattoo that just says "Dogs"
drawing a picture of Kento being bomis ringed by Jimbo Wales, Tim Shell and Michael Davis
wikiduderimrapia, brought to you by the creators of eiffelpedia
wikirapia, brought to you by the creators of dude rim rape
wikirapia, brought to you by the creators of murderpedia
wikirapia
wikimapia
winning the the Suffolk Constabulary Colon Man award with seventeen votes
Suffolk Constabulary Colon Man named in fatal Assington collision
Assington
Philip Mongjaw Hoffman
Duleep Singh
Kento's Juno and Argus
multipla af svane
Kento's inane sand pus
Kento's pennies and angus
Kento's penus and anis
Kento'$ peni$ and anu$
multiples of sven
multiples of seven
Kento's pained nun ass
Kento's penis and anus
sprinking an entire bag of chocolate chips
being an entire bag of chocolate chips
eating an entire thing of jaffa cakes
eating an entire bag of chocolate chips
trying to type "Mockingjay" to remind yourself of what Philip Seymour Hoffman's name was, but instead typing "mongjaw"
asking your government if it's all the same if they wouldn't mind terribly not using drones to surveil you, thanks awfully, cheerio
Government use of surveillance drones is 'probably illegal'
Some Remains in Mexico Are Not of Missing Students iAndale! iAndale! iArriba! iArriba!
Some Remains in Mexico Are Not of Missing Students
teacher found dead filmed naked dogs
teacher found dead filmed naked boys
Faecal capsules 'may help stop gut infection, cheerio'
Fortran Abbey
a polar bear walks into a tavern run by Gollum and stammers out "I'd, like, a, tall, glass, of, water, please" and Gollum gives the polar bear his drink, but then asks "Why the awkward pauses" and the polar bear says "it's hard to grasp"
Friday, Friday, goin' down on Friday
Friday, Friday, gettin' down on Friday
several
awkward
pauses
several awkward pauses
When Mr OBrien continues to press Jack for one UKIP policy he is met with several awkward pauses
lead bass scone tears
lead bass tears
lead tears
we haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies
Confucius say, man who receive anal sex dry see many tears
wanting to give Kento priapism for his birthday
there are two different ways to read the word "tears"
this week, to save you from tears, I'll say things that just aren't sexy
last Friday, I gave you priapism, but the very next day, it was an international news story
Kim Chee un
willies are funny
Last Friday, Jason Garnett ended a long day, as many men do, by eating a whole thing of kim chee in bed, but one hour later, he was washing his bedding in the bath tub in order to get out the residue of his own sick
wondering why a man getting an isolated case of a not uncommon medical condition is worthy of a news story
getting it up at the Hotel California
living it up at the Quality Inn Pasadena
what a nice surprise
such a lovely face
they stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast
Last Friday, Jason Garnett greeted a new day, as many men do, with an erection, but seventeen hours later, doctors were stabbing the British man's penis with needles in order to end his member's persistent salute
bottoming for Data in Trove of Man Ass VII
database dysfunction
FULLY FUNCTIONAL database
database is just a fancy way of saying trove
more like Snatchchat, amirite
a new lingo of relevance
A giant database of intercepted Snapchat photos and videos has been released by hackers who have been collecting the files for years
a new level of ignorance
that having HIV should be used as a black mark against someone's name is ridiculous and shows an outrageous lack of understanding of the issue
all those found to be infected with the virus, even if only as carriers, should be isolated compulsorily, immediately, and permanently
to screen the entire population regularly and to quarantine all carriers of the disease for life
the amazing Copy Paste Headlines from News Sites Then Make Gay Porn Jokes About Them Index VII
You look like a French waiter
the amazing Copy Paste Headlines from News Sites Then Make Gay Porn Jokes About Them Index
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Super Bowel XLIX
Spanish soccer player sporting 'Hitler stache' causes social media furor
bottoming for Katy Perry in XXX Super Bowel Lix VII
Katy Perry to perform Super Bowl XLIX halftime show
wondering where the line between porn film and birthing video lies
wondering how many porn films have production babies
During her emerging swanhood, she discovered a power previously unimagined
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us VII and Beat the Cock VII
Winnie the Pooh lists the names under "Pooh Babies"
Stephen Collins wrote erotic novels
wanting to make a Sparks reference but not really knowing any of their work beyond "This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us" and "Beat the Clock"
Did Sparks from Brakes Set Off Yosemite's Kid Rock Wildfire
Did Sparks from Brakes Set Off Yosemite's Dog Rock Wildfire
lending your lop nuts to a dishonest dictator
Christopher Reeve has been dead for ten years
North Korea's Kim Jong un reportedly misses key celebration due to 'pulled pork'
punning Kim Jong un led lots
lending Kim Jong un lop nuts
donning Kim Jong un's pullet
pulling Kim Jong un's tendon
North Korea's Kim Jong un reportedly misses key celebration due to 'pulled tendon'
residence in Kento
residence in Kent
Thieves have siphoned millions of pounds of fuel from a pipeline which runs under Deputy PM Nick Clegg's official country residence in Kent
genitals are funny lookin and hidden away because they're shameful
wondering why it is that we use slang terms for genitals to also refer to contemptible people, given that most people like genitals, both their own and those of others
In a small economically depressed Thorntown, a gifted young painter with a rare skin disorder must get small loans at night
having your photographical gum jobs leaked on IVchan and Reddit
getting a photographical gum job from a cutting perverse hooke in the dumpster against the time livable intrigant
Cutting perversity was photographically gumming at the against time livable intrigant
Anthropology is a gibble
Shanon must palmately tag crankily towards the disconnectedly rheumatic glans
SMALL LOAN THORNTOWN
Chorally transplendent porto is amorously redeeming per the habitually hanoverian maintainer
Venitian communicant is the horny gwawr
Emasculation will be extremly affirmably bulged
Reserved archway can perspicaciously inhere over the inconsolable tart
In its infancy upmarket fillets literally skis grievingly at the inconveniently discouraging informant
Perkily touristical omegas are a erythroblasts
Costly hermit is the romantic mozzarella
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a vegan breakfast cereal based on Heather Mills
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on, say, a lusty unrest
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on Heather Mills
I do not in fact know what you mean
wondering why General Mills hasn't made a breakfast cereal based on, say, a slutty nurse
I do know what you mean, and what is more I have passed your comments on to the police
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server, if you know what I mean
That I Can't Speak Properly!"
the death of John Oaks
the death of Trannie Hooker
the death of Jan Hooks
Error reading from remote server
the death of Monk in Jug
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server
Proxy Error
Leonard Nimoy's glabrous knackers
Robinson looks on
Leonard Nimoy's shaved genitals
missing a million airmiles of fun
that you really wouldn't mind some Fruity Yummy Mummy
that Fruity Yummy Mummy is an actual thing and not a joke, cheerio
Count Chocula
Franken Berry
Fruity Yummy Mummy
Boo Berry
Fruit Brute
the death of Kim Jong un
Gwyneth Paltrow to President Obama Colon "You're So Handsome That I Can't Speak Properly!"
Scotch eggs
My only addiction has to do with the female species, I eat 'em raw like sushi
An American passenger was booted off a US Airways flight and screened after reportedly joking that he had Ebola and telling the rest of the flyers they were "screwed"
missing a million miles of fun
drawing a picture of DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy braiding their penises together in the Weakest Link studio as Anne Robinson looks on
the accurate reproduction of DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump on Leonard Nimoy's shaved genitals
I don't know what you mean
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump in three D, if you know what I mean
wetting your pants
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's foreskin bump in three D
the accurate reproduction of Leonard Nimoy's "five o'clock shadow" on his shaved genitals
the accurate reproduction of Leonard Nimoy's "five o'clock shadow" on his shaved eyebrows
bragging about getting DeForest Kelley's forehead bump in three D
Star Trek Colon Secret of Vulcan Fury
wetting your yachting lie
wetting your yetiglanchi
wetting your skin walker
Time Warner Cable News Twitter Account Tweets Out Traffic Update With Pictures Of Penises
wetting your skin flute
wetting your oboe
wetting your flute
Swarm of bees attacks four people, killing one and stinging another one hundred times
wetting your whistle
Sir Asianlord
Sir Fatlord
Sir Gaylord
Hall of Fame horse Cigar dies
that if you ever actually meet someone named Peter Nippers you won't be able to stop beaming
Stephen Collins Cut From Upcoming Scandal Episode
Christine Lagard's booty is index linked to global prosperity
Christine Lagard's beauty is index linked to global prosperity
Christine Lagarde looking like a Dark Crystal character
throwing up after gobbling so much Ewok sausage
not really knowing where the sweet but chaotic nutter thing came from or why it suddenly surfaced in the top regrets
or Tim Tin
that if you ever actually meet someone named Peter Nippers you won't be able to stop laughing
red haired one legged huge breasted national merit scolar hardboiled cockney nutter who looks like Janice Dickinson
a mature but angry conspiracy theorist
wondering if this friend happens to be a sweet but chaotic nutter
being kind of worried about your friend who was going to come over for the weekend with his new girlfriend and daughter, but didn't arrive and didn't even respond when you tried to find out what was wrong
being on the jedi council but not receiving the rank of master and throwing a shitfit about it
being on the jedi council but not receiving the rank of master
like a seventh of your life
indexing your first regret sometime in the early nineteen thousands
realizing that the Regret Index has been with you for almost five years, maybe, you're not really sure any more
realizing that the Regret Index has been with you for a full quarter of your life
There is nothing like a bantha burger when you're watching a podrace
A spicy sausage, nerf sausage was a particular Corellian favorite
Also, some sources capitalize the term, while others do not
Ewok Jerky was a type of dish made with Ewok meat
Other times, it is applied to Ewok children of any age
theesa
Sometimes it refers to only the youngest Ewoks, those who have not yet received their hoods
The term "wokling" is used somewhat inconsistently
wokling
padawan
youngling
I'm thirty two
the mother and father on Seventh Heaven each being played by Star Trek movie supporting players
realising you've spelled realizing two different ways in the same sentence
realising the Shaft remake was fourteen years ago and realizing just how old you've become
wondering just how old you have become
Lynne Thigpen
hearing someone five years younger than you make one of those "back in my day ellipsis" comments and realizing just how old you've become
the death of Sarah Danielle Madison
Wicked Pee Sight, wicked pissah
Wicked Pee Sight
the Sedgwick Pie
trying to sleep and failing, which you would like to blame on the cluster headache you had only it ended several hours ago
it took so long to bake it
Jennifer Lawrence Stuns in Boyfriend's Jizz for 'Vanity Fair' BTS Video
Jennifer Lawrence Stuns in Tiny Dress for 'Vanity Fair' BTS Video
you'll never have that recipe again
how soul crushing it must be to go to the finest schools all right but knowing you only used to get juiced in it
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up dead in a sports bag in the bath of your lonely bastard's apartment for one
inadvertently forgetting that top universities and the intelligence agencies that recruit from them may well be preselecting for unscrupulous assholes
unedited footage of Joanie loving Chachi
Blowup
The Conversation
The Lives of Others
Aelita Colon Queen of Mars
implying Jennifer Lawrence is not a terrorist
implying Jennifer Lawrence is a terrorist
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up assigned to write software to spy on people through their webcams and cellphones in case some of them might be Jennifer Lawrence
how soul crushing it must be to study hard, go to a top university, graduate top of your class and end up assigned to write software to spy on people through their webcams and cellphones in case some of them might be terrorists
watching someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch someone else watch television
watching someone else watch someone else watch television
watching someone else watch television
Star Trek Colon Odyssey
playing the Blaster Beam in a marching band
that there was never an episode of TNG where Riker and Troi reminisced about the time they were assimilated by a broken space probe half the diameter of the solar system
actually being pretty much in the right agegroup for Entrapment, but thinking you probably thought brunettes reminded you too much of your sister at that point
never really getting the fuss about Catherine Zeta Jones isn't it
The TNG characters William Riker and Deanna Troi are derived from Decker and Ilia
being born too late for The Darling Buds of May and too early for Entrapment
never really getting the fuss about Catherine Zeta Jones
wanting to release an album titled "sandy cinema's edge"
wanting to release an album titled "dynamic sand geese"
wanting to release an album titled "dicey sand menages"
wanting to release an album titled "man's decaying seed"
Doohan created the distinctive Klingon vocabulary, eh, I'll chin ye, petaQ
the curse of the yummy mummy
the smoking probably wasn't good for the baby, so I get that, but it probably also wasn't good to be fertilized by a hundred year old man's decaying seed
Doohan created the distinctive Klingon vocabulary
remembering seeing a tabloid photo of a nude, pregnant Catherine Zeta Jones smoking on her balcony in a porn pop up ad and wondering why anyone would be excited in the least to see this, other than the illicit thrill of spying on someone richer than you
At a basic level, their exchanges are those of an odd assortment of grumpy, middle aged men bickering about office politics
Willy Shafter
not telling Shatner how to do the line, as it sickens him
getting shafted by Kirk in Star Trek Colon The Motion Picture VII
assuming Stephen Collins was an actual pastor and 'Seventh Heaven' was some kind of evangelical TV show, only to discover he's the guy Kirk shafts in Star Trek Colon The Motion Picture, which you were thinking about watching just earlier today
being, you know, fairly attracted to naked women and all, but maybe through desensitization via pornography, maybe because you don't really find her remarkable, and maybe because you're quite obviously a better human being than most, not really wanting to
not really wanting to see Jennifer Lawrence naked
Jennifer Lawrence Colon Naked photograph hacking a sex crime
the amazing Regret Index, where wretched sex crimes against minors are turned into punchlines
greasing up tweens with Stephen Collins
imagining that the tweens who greased up with Harry Potter have reached a point in their lives when they want to watch graphic descriptions of orgies involving Kento, elderly celebrities, and sea creatures
being thirty four and feeling like Harry Potter is a couple of generations below your own, but knowing people your own age who read it obsessively as it was released
imagining that the tweens who grew up with Harry Potter have reached a point in their lives when they want to watch graphic descriptions of orgies involving Kento, elderly celebrities, and sea creatures
wondering if JK Rowling is the Celebrity Regretter and her next book will just be filled with pornographic single and double entendres
Muldeh and Scullio
Cry, foe! Run amok! Fa awry! My wand won't tolerate this nonsense
fusing the FBI with the BFI, Scullio
fusing the FBI with the BFI
confusing the BFI with the FBI, Scully
confusing the FBI with the BFI, cheerio
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, meow
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, I'm walkin' hear
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, da Bears
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, wicked pissah
The FBI is looking for a man with a 'North American accent' who is fighting for the Islamic State, eh
A friend of the Boston Marathon bombing suspect could not have lied to the FBI about visiting his dorm room and removing a backpack because he was too intoxicated by marijuana to remember what he did that day, wicked pissah
I don't have a butt so I wear these and another pair of underwear under it
Often pesky bears put to work restoring picnic baskets
hearing the pastor's colon report
Often pesky beavers put to work restoring streams
HEAR IT COLON 'Seventh Heaven' pastor dad Stephen Collins admits to molesting underage girl, exposing himself to two others colon report
even modern creme bra serfs are forbidden to tint a wellhouse fur minion
calling for creme bras on the ground
even modern creme bra serfs are forbidden to tint a wellhouse in uniform
even armed forces members are forbidden to tint a wellhouse in uniform
even armed forces members are forbidden to salute while not in uniform
that's pretty much what I thought should be the case
According to standard military protocol, the President of the United States does not return salutes from uniformed military personnel because, although the President holds the title of Commander in Chief of the US armed forces, he is not himself a member
Adrian Peterson Colon Report alleges use of charity funds for hotel room orgy
Reddit CEO Chews Out Former Reddit Employee On Reddit
driving your northbound freight train through a southbound tunnel
punching like a southbound freight train, if you know what I mean
quatres epices
punching like a southbound freight train
getting Tony Hayward's British Petroleum all over your sea snake
bottoming for Tony Hayward in Years of Marriage XXVII, Cheerio
bottoming for Tony Hayward in British Petroleum VII, Cheerio
sprinking oil on your beloved's man ass as you knead it
using the word "oil on walrustastic"
using the word "oil on man asstastic"
wondering which part you find more disturbing, the fact that gay strip clubs have curators, or the fact that they label everything
Os pementos de Padron, uns pican e outros non
Tipsy McStagger
being named after a famous drink
internetarchaeology dot org
Bookshops hope 'rough sex Monday' will help start a new chapter for publishing
Bookshops hope 'super Thursday' will help start a new chapter for publishing
becoming a gay strip club curator just so you can change every label that reads "oil on man ass" to read "oil on canvas"
Oil on Canvas is a live album by the British band Japan, released in nineteen eighty three by Virgin Records, cheerio, desu ne, Kento
becoming a gallery curator just so you can change every label that reads "oil on canvas" to read "oil on man ass"
oil on man ass, lieutenant commander Data, twenty three sixty nine
oil on canvas, lieutenant commander Data, twenty three sixty eight
Reginald Barclay's penis replaced with an Irishman's arm
USS Enterprise transporter chief Miles O'Brien has left arm amputated by beaming accident
PBS science reporter Miles O'Brien has left arm amputated after accident
Hewlett Packard 'to spit into two companies'
Packard
Hewlett
Hewlett Packard 'to split into two companies'
long haired half chinease miserables
reading a poop science article about a real subject discussed in a real and specific paper, in which neither the paper nor the authors are named and no links to dumps are provided
going on a termination date
the Menken
any of that funky shit going down in the city
going on an expiration date
reading a pop science article about a real subject discussed in a real and specific paper, in which neither the paper nor the authors are named and no links to sources are provided
building a barricade in the streets of Hong Kong
Anger among Irish as old mop is given their fuckin money
Anger among Irish as Bob Geldof comes out against Scottish independence
finding some Cruel Anal Lab in your Apocalypse Chow Chow chow
getting an Apocalypse Chow Chow instead of a Cruel Anal Lab
Apocalypse Chow
An informal online poll by a Hong Kong newspaper inspired by a recent referendum in the Falkland Islands shows that ninety two percent of readers who voted think Hong Kongers would prefer a return to British rule
wondering would it really be so bad if we just fell for each other, Frank Chu
wondering would it really be so bad if we just fell for each other
Frank Chu
wanting to make Kento a ridged Sharia glans for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a ginger radish salad for his birthday
both radishes and mullets will run you through
figging
in Mos Eisley did Mighty Jabba a stately pleasure dome decree
rhaphanidosis
replacing all instances of "Tofu Deflates, Eh" with "Panty Babel Walk, Eh"
replacing all instances of "Duel of the Fates" with "Baby Elephant Walk"
Kento "Buck et Cum" Ikeda
I cry your mercy, pity, love, you're going down a path I cannot follow
chilling a catch
Aw, look at that! I've got a considerable rear shelf!
having a real hot load of goods that needs to be disposed of right away
Kento "Cum Bucket" Ikeda
Kit Fisto clenched round my heart loosens a little, and I gasp brightness, but it tightens again
because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me, the carriage held but just ourselves AND A THERMAL DETONATOR!
aft agley the best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang
soft gamma repeaters
New Jersey nun credited with curing boy "beatified" in Newark, FIST PUMP
trying to listen to Time After Time but being pretty ready to consign it to the ennui bin with Dancing in the Dark
catching a chill
the ennui bin
trying to watch Time After Time but being pretty ready to consign it to the ennui bin with Dancer in the Dark
at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, two doves upon the selfsame branch
when an old Jedi am I, wear purple I shall
shall I compare thee to a summer's day, now THIS is podracing!
But I love your feet only because they walked upon the earth and upon the wind and upon the waters, until they found me, but I don't like sand
Turning and turning in the widening gyre, the Falcon cannot hear the falconer, but it can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs
If you can keep your hand when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you
do not go gently into the garbage chute, flyboy, if you know what I mean
if I should die, think only this of me, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
do not go gently into the garbage chute, flyboy
the way the world ends this is, a bang not with but a whimper
mistah kurtz, he dead, a penny for the old guy, utini
MEESA SO SORRY MEESA ATE THE PLUMS THAT WERE IN DA ICEBOX
accidentally hiring ee cummings instead of JJ Abrams
tating
ri
ir
rough and
its course and
i dont like sand
digitally adding more rules to no rules
digitally adding more residents to a pretty how town
Newcastle is a pretty how town, howay like
finding it hard to believe that anyone lived in a pretty how town
finding it hard to believe that anybody's boners are breaking from the weight of the world on their scrotums
finding it hard to believe that anybody's bones are breaking from the weight of the world on their shoulders
going out to a bqr
having a sticky space bqr, v key, f key, e key and three key and being very sleepy suddenly
there, T H E R, there
tomatillos
having a sticky e key
the only rule is ther are no rules
licking Danish remoulade off of Sylvia Browne's erect clitoris
Hex Colon Shards of Fat
Chinese gooseberries
now Erik Kwakkel is going to sue us in England
Police Colon hundred year old Wichita woman raped in her home bottoming for Erik Kwakkel in Raw Leek KKK I
Police Colon hundred year old Wichita woman raped in her home
bottoming for Erik Kwakkel in Raw Leek KKK I
Erik Kwakkel
Charlie Sheen Sued For Sexual Battery After Visit to Dentist's Office Goes Wrong
a bowling ball coming down the road and knocking you off your feet
letmegloryholethatforyou dot com
waiting for gloryhole dot com
that falling through glory holes into other stalls is both your biggest fear and your secret fantasy
Cory Doctor Who
waiting for google dot com
that falling through holes into other universes is both your biggest fear and your secret fantasy
no longer being sure if things look different months later because you a big dummy, because of some kind of paradigm shift in data presentation, or because you keep falling through holes into other universes
not having a vivid memory of Michael Stipe dying of cancer, but having a vivid memory of reading the top of Kento's twitter to see if he died and it being totally different and containing tweets which it does not in fact contain
The Highgate Vampire
Adam Worth
reading through all of agentfiftyseven's tumblr just because you could
James Holman
U Thant Island
Pedobear Escape
The Boy Who Cried Bitch
DLC Peniston
BBC Peniston
BCC Peniston
something something bizarre, striated earthwormlike penis something something Kento's mouth something baculum something Kento's ass something
something something bizarre, striated earthwormlike penis something something baculum
Giant Red Leech Swallows Giant Worm Like Spaghetti
Teachers accused of group sex with male student
CCH Peniston
CCH With Cheese
CCH Pounder
I can't go away without a goodbye FIST!
having ninety nine walrusviruses but vaccinia ain't one
having ninety nine rhinoviruses but vaccinia ain't one
rhinoviruses
wanting to make Kedwardo a black stallion for his birthday
Ace Attire Norm
Happy birthday Kedwardo u black stallion
they all float down here
The Picture of a Drain Orgy
Ace Trainer Tom
The Picture of a Grainy Rod
The Picture of Angry Radio
fucking the eyholes of Oscar Wilde's skull in The Picture of Dorian Gay VII
you're still not in your own world, homo
you're still not in your own world, no homo
you're still not in your own world, Homer
losing your virginity to a Corellian nerf herder
losing your virginity to a Chilean vicuna
losing your virginity to a Chilean vicuna herder
wondering if anyone else has a vivid memory of Michael Stipe
dying of cancer
wondering if anyone else has a vivid memory of Michael Stipe dying of cancer
standing in the place where you live
The Selfie of Dorian Gray
Neaira
The Picture of Dorian Gray Desperately Trying to Crack One Out With Nothing But a Furniture Store Flyer
primitive promiscuity
spending all that time reading articles about nothing in particular
wondering if Dorian Gray tried abstinence for a month or so would his picture be of him wanking like a chimp over a sporting goods catalog
thinking there should be a Tinder for cats, since that is apparently what people like to post most on the internet
wanting to say you've never taken a selfie but suspecting there is an old print photograph of you somewhere that is growing younger, richer and probably getting laid a lot
wanting to say you've never taken a selfie but suspecting there is an old print photograph of you somewhere that would disagree
the word selfie mutating from "picture one takes of oneself" to "any picture taken with a smart phone"
Black cats being rejected because they don't look good in selfies, says RSPCA
IT IS OBVIOUSLY THE MOST GENTLE BEAR EVER AND HE LOVES THE CROW DEARLY
an elite school for walruses
an elite bird for schools
an elite school for birds
wondering if you could start a kickstarter for a game like Hatoful Boyfriend except with walruses
you're about to be dripping in bitches
The 'Republicans' in the 'Republicans are people too' advert are all just stock photos
Thirty Five Thousand Pictures, Of One Walrus, Shows The Effect Of Eiffel Towering
wearing Chris Lydon like a turtleneck
drawing a picture of Kento being enveloped and consumed by Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis mouth
One Picture, Of Thirty Five Thousand Walrus, Shows One Effect Of Global Warming
the very notion that Chris Lydon has enough foreskin to even come close to covering Kento's frame
the very notion that Chris Lydon has enough skin to even come close to covering Kento's frame
wondering if Kento's psychosexual obsession with Chris Lydon has him considering making and wearing a suit made of his skin in order to gain his powers
finding the idea of someone making a Chris Lydon costume unnerving
finding the idea of a walrus in a Chris Lydon costume unnerving
regret three five seven five zero
that, H A T, that
writing hat instead of hat
hat
no homophone
you could say hat
zSucErfbaUPeAnbMA
The station manager called that insubordination
that was to one up the previous regret
regret number eight two eight six eight
in soil he did crawl
Earthworm Jim
of all the many disturbing Chris Lydon and walrus related things I have written on this site, the previous regret promotes perhaps the most disturbing visual of all
he goes as a walrus, the walrus dresses up as Chris
wondering what Chris Lydon will dress up as for Halloween
October is the cruellest month and I will fight anybody who says otherwise
I wish it was
coming to the sudden realization that it is NOVEMBER
coming to the sudden realization that it is October
Magic Johnson Coach
Magic Chixor Coach
Chicago Chico Marx
Chicago Chico, los Ositos
something something Roman Polanski
List of saddest lists on Wikipedia
Lina Medina
commie hippie judges denying patriotic, God fearing Americans their constitutional right to threaten to murder their close relatives with firearms
California residents can now petition a judge to temporarily remove a close relative's firearms if they fear their family member will commit gun violence
Oh Baby A Triple! Oh Yeah!
all tucked away up there
and so cold
so sweet
they were delicious
Victoria's secret plums
electroplating Stephen Hawking's pennies
electroplating
electrifying
wondering what pillow talk with Stephen Hawking is like
wondering if physicists write slashfics about spontaneous emission
buttcheek typesetting
wondering where he wrote the exclamation point
the implication that Ben Affleck's left buttcheek is larger than his right
NASA's Cassini spacecraft is monitoring the evolution of a mysterious feature in a large hydrocarbon sea on Saturn's moon Titan
Wow! Ben Affleck paints a W on each buttock and bends over in 'Gone Girl'
Ben Affleck relates to Batman's 'yule dirge bed' rape
Ben Affleck relates to LA's 'deeply buried' street lights
Ben Affleck relates to Superman's 'deeply buried' ability to fly
Ben Affleck relates to Batman's 'deeply buried' rage
watching Ebichu
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'Ol Nigger'
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'El Gringo'
Wow! Ben Affleck does full frontal nudity in 'Gone Girl'
it was too small for my manly neck
Who the Bleep Did I Eiffel Tower
Who the Bleep Did I Marry
two seemingly ordinary people can come together to commit heinous crimes, thereby forming a "wicked attraction"
calling yourself an astronaut after going to the third floor of a parking garage
wondering if it is fair to call someone a "former child actor" when their sole appearance was an uncredited extra in a single episode of Power Rangers
Her knack for brilliant detail allows her dissect bizarre murder cases and bring readers into the heart of darkness
according to wikipedia, Aphrodite Jones is an award winning American reporter and author who writes about killers with masterful precision
Skylar Julius Deleon
Gotham City's protector returns to find the city under the grip of a French Canadian Sasquatch and his right hand man the evil joker
flashing your boobs on unripemelons dot com
sitting on your keys
giving a Sloppy Giuseppe in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake on your lunch break
giving a Sloppy Giuseppe on your lunch break
and that
To cum on one's hand and flick it onto another person using the Italian reasoning gesture
getting a Sloppy Giuseppe on your lunch break
getting whale peehole soap in Jackson C Frank's eye when you were a kid
Emtarkanderundersgunderson
getting whale peehole soap in your eye
getting whale peehole soap all over your face
Eh! Steve!
wonderinf if God can take a dump so huge that He Himself cannot flush it
getting a Welsh aloe Pope, eh
getting whale peehole soap
getting a whole heap o' sleep
adding the regret "Geonosis is less than a ho parsec away" and be returned to the regret "Anakin Sexpurposes"
Geonosis is less than a ho parsec away
the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve ho parsecs
ho parsecs
horse caps
I WAS THINKING SHE WOULD HAVE A HORSEMAN BABY
finding out that your horse came in Winona Rider while riding in a Winnebago
finding out that your horse came in while riding a bicycle in a Winnebago
finding out that your horse came in while riding Winona Rider in a Winnebago
corpse, C O R S P E, corpse
sprinkling, S P R I N K I N G, sprinkling
urbandictionary, R A B N U D I O T C O I A R N Y, urbandictionary
eyeholes, E Y H O L E S, eyeholes
Winona Ryder, W I N O N A R I D E R, Winona Ryder
cloud based regretting
waffletastic, W A F F L E T A S T I C, waffletastic
getting the question mark two times in a row
eating blinis while fellating Fellini
getting a regret that was just a question mark and wondering if it was one of the fifty Ghost Regrets of Scooby Doo
wrecking google
checking google
the safeword is kumquat, C U M W A D, kumquat
losing your virginity to a dishonest spelling beekeeper
analingus, A N A L I N G U S, analingus
losing the spelling bee and your virginity in one emotional rollercoaster of a day
being proud of eating out an illiterate virgin
being proud of eating an illiterate virgin"
being proud of being an illiterate virgin
having sex with six spelling bee winners simultaneously, S I M U L T A N E O U S L Y, simultaneously
kind of being proud of the fact that you don't talk about cinema frequently enough to be able to spell "Fellini" correctly without checking google
I have like tons of sex, with like six girls a time, while winning spelling bees
I'm neither
now that you see it, the previous regret can basically be read as "being proud of being an illiterate virgin"
kind of being proud of the fact that you don't talk about sex acts frequently enough to be able to spell "fellating" correctly without checking google
moving to the Walrus Fellating Colonies
moving to the Otter Rimming Colonies
rimming an otter in the Otter Rim
rimming an otter in the Outer Rim
bottoming for Gross Hugh Janus in Outer Rimming Colon Episode VII A New Hole
the Gross Anus Colonies, located in the Outer Rim
Hugh Janus
gross anus colon
High Fructose Illinois
HFIL
it is important not to latch onto a self made diagnosis
fears of abandonment, and resultant anger and irritability, are often perfectly reasonable even if their cause appears trivial and they ultimately prove to be trivial
that understanding your own mental state can be just as difficult as understanding someone else's
suspecting you're a little old for chronic lung disease of infancy
that a barrel per day keeps the doctor away
suspecting Kim Jong un has gout
North Korea Admits Kim Jong Un Is Not Doing Well
suspecting you have BPD
wheezing
coughing
Bill Gross makes move to Janus semicolon should you
having sex with a girl who cooked a lot like Christina Ricci costuming Kento
having sex with a girl who cooked a lot like Christina Ricci
costuming Kento
i'm going to make a documentary about objectivists called "Twelve Ayngry Men"
Raechel Ray finds inspiration in killing and cooking Kento for others, it's just her personal choice not to cosume him
Raechel Ray finds inspiration in cooking Kento
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her kid
Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog
being an novacokevegtootletarian
being an ovolactokentovegetarian
preferring death to the consumption of Kento, though you are not opposed to killing and or cooking him for others, it's just your personal choice not to consume him
never eating Kento
still not eating Kento
tit rope shags
tight rape SOS
ass girth poet
strip hostage
hostage strip
ghost pirates
pirate ghosts
n no
being Kento
I know you are, but what am I
I know you are, but what am I
still not being Kento
still not being Kento
having managed it accidentally, but never been able to replicate the process other than when the server was falling over
knowing that Kento knew of the method on the old 'dex that Ryan has since removed, but doubting he knows either of the methods available now
being pretty sure Kento knows how to do it
god dammit, Kento
never learning to re add regrets that are already indexed
god dammit, Kento
ten thousand stories sent
Your potential regret of god dammit, Kento has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ZERO
your nipples are a bit hard and you're wearing a black thong and touching yourself
holding the President with the Celibacy Club
thrilling the President with the Celibacy Club
teasing the President with the Celibacy Club
bleeding out the President with the Celibacy Club
wearing out the President with the Celibacy Club
weeding out the President with the Celibacy Club
beating up the President with the Celibacy Club
beating off the President with the Celibacy Club
copulating cutie ballerinas
the five year plan is working
the beet's alive, deep inside
the beat's alive, deep inside
Julie's Tenth Birthday Sex I
waking up at an almost normal time and wondering if your body has decided all that random sleeping and waking it was doing is over now
Julie's Sixteenth Birthday
Thom Yorke releases 'Oxbow Dorm Rotor's Semen' on BitTorrent
Thom Yorke releases 'Next Morose Brood Worms' on BitTorrent
Thom Yorke releases 'Worst Moron Sex Bedroom' on BitTorrent
seeing something so arasing it gave you a piloerection
berating the President with the Celibacy Club
beating the President with the Celibacy Club
surprising the president of the Celibacy Club with analingus
eating out the president of the Celibacy Club
eating the president of the Celibacy Club
being the president of the Celibacy Club
arsenine regrets
bottoming for Curtis Arsenina in Copulating Curtis Arsenina VII
wanting to be an anserina when you grew up
copulating cutis anserina
tossing a dwarf then simply walking into Mordor
tossing a dwarf
it was a cautionary tale intended to teach readers that oral sex can be dangerous
Thom Yorke releases 'Tomorrow's Modern Boxes' on BitTorrent
fuckig goosebumps
doubting that Kento weighs three hundred pounds
man dies first reel, people ask "what's the deal"
three hours' sleep, randomly
Hiker Nob
it always comes back to Kento being pumped full of semen
if a three hundred pound fat gay Asian wants a change of pace, it gets Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus anyway
a change of vale
if a one hundred and fifty pound septuagenarian wants a change of pace, it gets a change of pace
a change of pace
if a two thousand pound walrus wants a change of pace, it gets a change of pace
I thought we agreed the walrus is in the back
you doctors have been telling us to to take eight colonic irrigations of man gravy a day
you doctors have been telling us to to drink eight glasses of man gravy a day
you doctors have been telling us to to drink eight glasses of gravy a day
the eternal shame of not knowing how to do it and having to be shown how to walk the kid
my sun is ascending again
the eternal shame of not knowing how to do it and having to be shown how to walk the dog
his ox wad bong
a dong box wish
shadow boxing
I'll go to the next town to stay away from the lunatics
wondering why they let defendants consume cocaine and alcohol before appearing in court in New Jersey, FIST PUMP
After he had done too much cocaine and consumed too much alcohol, convicted killer Gary Wilson told a hushed New Jersey courtroom that he bashed in the skull of Carolyn Stone after she laughed when he couldn't get an erection
winning the gong for Data bootie with seventeen FOUL CUNT FINALLY!! votes
winning the gong for Data bootie with seventeen FULLY FUNCTIONAL!! votes
prosecutors called it "the most Australian act ever committed"
Two Australian navy technicians have pleaded guilty to hogtying one of their colleagues and smearing a mix of Deep Heat and Vegemite on his buttocks during a "farewell ceremony" to mark the victim's last night aboard a Royal Australian Navy frigate
hostile shrug peeing unexpectedly, then hogyting weak aria tushes and feeling you've had a full day and need Data bootie gong
sleeping eight hours unexpectedly, then staying awake eight hours and feeling like you've had a full day and need to go to bed again
Not Da Emu Colon Shrimp Bits to Apologize to 'Green' Quip Urn
Not Amused Colon British PM to Apologize to 'Purring' Queen
electroplating the penis of Rosella
the penis of Rosella
old timey porn titles
the perils of Rosella
shooting Janet Reno in the Jackson Hole just to watch her little death, if you know what I mean
shooting Janet Reno in the Jackson Hole just to watch her die
shooting Janet Reno in the eye in Jackson Hole just to watch her die
fighting the law and the law winning
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye in Reno just to watch him die
that one surrounded by hot kids
getting like four hours sleep
that one surrounded by hot dogs
googling deep fried corn on the cob
wondering what would happen if you deep fried corn on the cob
dangbeet
bendgate
handing off Rippy Dick
dicking Andy Ripp off
ripping Andy Capp off
ripping Andy Dick off
ripping your dick off
trying to snap your bloody cock back to a reasonable
trying to snap your body clock back to a reasonable
trying to snap your body clock back to a reasonable approximation of the time zone you are in and wondering why it is so resistant to that
being caught between The Rock and The Edge in The Sticky Situation VII
drawing a picture of The Situation being The Coliseumed by The Edge and The Simpsons
The Situation is hard to grasp
opposing a contentious cause celebre
taking a dump and wondering what the heck you've been eating to make your poop smell like dumpster, then realising you're giving a lickjob high on meth behind Steak n Shake
you probably didn't understand The Situation
taking a dump and wondering what the heck you've been eating to make your poop smell like dope, then realising someone is smoking dope outside
cooking the books with a bunch of pogna, cheerio
cooking the books with a bunch of bologna
'Jersey Shore' star Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, brother indicted on federal tax charges, FIST PUMP
Michigan is polite
that Michigan is to the rest of the US what Canada is to the US
really giving one some elbow grease, before chef notices
doing us as though we were a filthy pot, precious
overfilling that soup pan and making a right mess, if you know what I mean
overfilling that soup pan and making a right mess
Shakur before shake
grinding bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penises for XP
Quiet, sir, or everyone will want one
that's part of the experience
Waiter! There's a bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis in my soup!
your phone wanting to give you Shakira, Shakespeare and Shakur before shake
among other violations
Steak n Shake complained that it was a zoning violation
that's why they closed
drawing a picture of Bart calling Hamersly's Bistro and asking for Amanda Palmer, only to have her come to the phone
getting a palm job from Amanda Palmer in the dumpster behind Hamersley's Bistro
I cna't type
twnety seven years
After twnety seven years, we will be ending a very special chapter in our lives and closing Hamersley's Bistro, wicked pissah
After twnety seven years, we will be ending a very special chapter in our lives and closing Hamersley's Bistro
DEAR FRIENDS OF HB, We have some news
Northern Ireland's new health minister is a Democratic Unionist party assembly member who believes that women made pregnant through rape should not be allowed an abortion, so it is
Join me and the rock star Kickstarter champ Amanda Palmer for dinner at our favorite restaurant in Boston, Hamersley's Bistro
finding it bizarre that a civilian is expected to salute a military officer, even if the civilian is technically the commander of the officer, in fact, especially if the civilian is considered the superior officer
#LatteSalute Colon Obama under fire for saluting marines with coffee cup in hand
don't knock it 'till you've tried it
nothing good will come of this
drawing a picture of the Queen using Chris Lydon's bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis as an impromptu noose while masturbating with a frozen octopus
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon taking a shit on the Queen's amputated leg stumps
that Kentoplay is ranked within the top ten most popular paraphilias worldwide, right between scatplay and apotemnophilia
wondering if the Queen really roleplays Kento during dirty talk
we bid you punish our tight arse like the bad girls we are, cheerio
we're nearly there, don't stop, cheerio
wondering if the Queen uses the majestic plural during dirty talk
British Prime Minister says Obama 'barked down the line' when asked who let the dogs out
hearing "purr" and thinking of cats, so maybe it had to do with her pussy or something
British Queen says Prime Minister 'sounded like a talking side of ham down the line' when talking about Scotland referendum vote
purring like a cat down a telephone line
not knowing 'what purred down the line' means, and rubanditciorany provides no help
British Prime Minister says Queen 'purred down the line' when told of Scotland referendum vote
watching Youtube promos for Prestige luxury yachts and wondering if rich klingons really do just speed around in a twenty meter yacht covered with busty, hardly dressed women with horrible foreheads
"And that's exactly what I used to do," said the real DLT a year before he was arrested
You can't sexually assault a woman and expect people would not say anything
the script of this episode received an uncredited "gang bang" rewrite by the entire writing staff
vegan tuna fishing regrets
tuna fishing regrets
piano tuning regrets
importuning regrets
impersonating regrets
incinerating regrets
imgur dot com slash oXWthreeKBg
looking for Yar's yacht in all the wrong places
Sperm Whales of Endearment
incriminating regrets
how easy it is to shoot Jackson C Frank in your pajamas
how easy it is to shit an elephant in your pajamas
how easy it is to shoot an elephant in your pajamas
how easy it is to find nude selfies of Chris Lydon in your underwear
Roman Polanski's pathetic attempts to make excuses for his incriminating regrets
how easy it is to mess up copying and pasting text
the previous two regrets said "underage girls" where they should have said "Chris Lydon"
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls on your doorstep
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls in your inbox
how easy it is to find nude selfies of Chris Lydon on twitter
how easy it is to find nude selfies of famous girls on twitter
Sperms of Endearment
Continual Flu Fly inverseData
FULLY FUNCTIONAL inverseData
inverseData
deviantArse
riding the bologna pogna
riding the baloney pony
also if that is Daniel, Daniel's name is still on Daniel's deviantArt page
wondering if that is Daniel in California, because if so, twitter suggested us as internet microblog buddies today
true beauty on celestial face
Madame Chao's, the sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capitol City
that good stuff that I am seeking it's got me peaking and it's got me freaking
Jasmine Tridevil
how easy it is to find nude selfies of underage girls on twitter
krill five meals a day
though shalt always krill
thou shalt always thrill
thou shalt always kiss
thou shalt always kill
drawing a picture of Kento being el tip vexed by Chris Lydon and a walrus
drawing a picture of Kento being expletived by Chris Lydon and a walrus
disinterring Oscar Wilde's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull on a reality show in order to violate him like he violated young boys, it's called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
as for this job, well, not that I have a choice, but, expletive it, I quit, meow
Two Gays In Kento Pizza
Two Guys From Quantico Pizza
decimalizing one pie for no real reason
all my tubes and wires and careful notes
decimating ten pies for no real reason
making all those pies for no real reason
thinking of your sigmoid colon as a perfunctory nod to a neighbor you don't really get along with when you take your garbage out to the curb in the morning
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kill
being as American as mom and apple pie and kissing my ass
that the correct response to "apple pie" is not "kiss my ass"
thinking of your rectum muscles as a firm handshake
adjusting to a normal sleep pattern broadly in step with your timezone and societal norms, then snapping the fuck back to awake all night for no particular reason
god dammit, Kento
thinking of your anus muscles as a puckering kiss
caramelised apple pie
liking your saline like you like your chans, envious rant
liking your saline like you like your clams, intravenous
liking your saline like you like your chans, intravenous
we're going to wait until his plane touches down, then revoke his citizenship
you are fucking the dog!
goddamnit, we just got rid of him and now he might be coming back
Scottish independence referendum colon Piers Morgan finally honours promise to leave the UK now Scotland has voted 'No'
pensioner Patricia Hewitson contacted BBC Radio Devon to help identify a "weed" in her garden
Did you mean Colon rubnadictacy
being shocked that there is no entry for turret lathe on urbandcitonancy
turret lathing the pooch
rescrewing the pooch
unscrewing the pooch
screwing the pooch
whoever gets the black egg stays sober tonight
discovery of a body, if you know what I mean
discovery of a body
being more or less oblivious to celebrity culture, a statement which will no doubt come back to haunt you at some stage
The trove of pictures suddenly materialized on the Regret Index, which is known as both the "most amazing" and the "most waffletastic" corner on the Internet
the OP post was simply a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus with the text "hai guise check out my trove"
wondering when the last time you heard someone use the word "trove" in normal dialogue was
The trove of images suddenly materialized on IVchan, which is known as both the "darkest" and the "seediest" corner on the Internet
Swancash Snowcash Showscan Geldof
Pumpkin Pie Backdoor Slats Geldof
Swancash
Snowcash
Showscan
stop being so aggressive, you little shit, and by the way, screw you MP
A skinwalker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
A kid walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
The Conservative club declined to comment
A dog walker found a human leg behind a Conservative social club in Greater Manchester, prompting a police search and the discovery of a body
the MP reportedly said, "Stop being so aggressive, you little shit"
pumpkin pie
backdoor slats
wondering if there is accountability in ant societies, like when an ant comes back to the nest with something weird do the other ants have some method of dealing with that and can the colony actually learn not to bring stupid things back
haughty nurses
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing capers in the crotch when you find them
finding capers in your crotch
Backdoor Sluts IX makes Crotch Capers III look like Naughy Nurses II
bench pressing a French press for the French press
grinding coffee for XP
Backdoor Sluts IX
the great Wizard, the skillful Ranger, and the covetous Jew
Der Zeitung does not out run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'dilated'
Die Zeitung does not run images of swans that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Die Zeitung does not run images of men that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Der Zeitung does not run images of women that could be considered 'sexually suggestive'
Special needs girl raped after being used as 'bait' to catch sex offending teen colon lawsuit
wondering if anybody doesn't know that Kim Kardashian has starred in a porn video
wondering if the hacker who worked so hard to steal Kim Kardashian's nude pics knows that she has starred in a porn video
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy, cheerio
everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall
having an abortion after a fling with the pool boy
having a lot of fun, having a lot of money
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable dilation
butterflies
not realizing until you had dilated ten centimetres that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it
dilating your dick in the car door
rubbing one out in the stirrups at the gynaecologists
using the word "dilatastic"
holding your boobs when you dilate
the dilation of Sylvia Browne
dilating Brian Peppers
Dilator's Knob
that you're a lot weirder since you started visiting Dilator Forums
remembering a point in time when Dilate Wrath was your favorite movie
remembering a point in time when Wild at Heart was your favorite movie
HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED
zoot skin
kids these days with their moulted skin pants
carrying your skin around
with its moulted skin "pants", Scraggy seem to encapsulate stereotypes of youth subcultures of the past several decades, namely hip hop or punk
failing to come up with a grammatically acceptable third person
realizing in your thirties that you can see your penis if you stick it out and look down
the noble prized peace llama of the Andes
realizing in your thirties that you can see your tongue if you stick it out and look down
the prized peace llama is pretty amazing
wondering how long it will be before phones are able to tell that you're looking at the screen but daydreaming and turn off to conserve power
the caramelized apple is pretty amazing
eating that whole thing of pancakes and sobbing in bed
wondering if the pancakes were pancakular
caramelizing that apple
spending like an hour making pancakes for yourself
Gobbler's Knob
not eating out Kento when you hatch dance, eh
not eating out Kento when you had the chance
not eating out Kento
not being IN Kento
not being out Kento
rubbing one out out in the bathroom at church
holding your boobs out when you run down the stairs
taking out the hugest dump
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give out a shit about it
getting regret one one nine five seven like four times in the past forty eight hours and you just don't give a shit about it
lucubrating
lubricating
oiling
boiling
burning
you city folk are probably hungry from premarital sex and flag burning
surprisingly large numbers answered
Reuters has been asking Americans how they would feel about declaring independence today, not from the United Kingdom, but from the mother country they left England to create
A Marinade Levy
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Ikeda says, "Hidden up my rectum"
getting in a prison fight with the Fat Gay Asians
Marvin Lee Aday
skiffle
"There's like thirty knives out there right now," Acosta says, "Hidden up their rectums"
Nude Porn Star Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Nude Kim Kardashian Photos Reportedly Leaked Online
Fotzegeiger
cunt violins
sint vinculo
oh snap
being dissapointed with the amazing reget index
a revenge's feh nowt
Revenge of the Swan
Revenge of the Span
getting your dick sticky with Muk
Revenge of the Snap
getting your dick sticky with insert name
that Disney can't say Sith
that Disney can't say Shit
urbandictionary's definition of "commonly"
Commonly Used By Dave Chappelle, the phrase is an exclamation of surprise, reget, dissapointment, happiness, and many other emotions
Walt Disney's crippling speech impediment
A catchphrase used by Disney channel characters due to the fact that Disney can't say Shit
not knowing what "oh snap" means
being kind of at a loose end on a weekend for once
Cortical homunculi
Glamorousness
wishing there were a way to tag Wikipedia articles with "This article may need revision, as it reads like it was written by a fucking lunatic"
Glabrousness
TRILLY DILLY used VIBRATE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
SLOPNUGGET used MUD SPORT! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Icepuddle
Slopnugget
Cuddlepie
Snugglepot
Bill Batter
Trilly Dilly
Grump Frump
Grovernor
Tom Trow
googling something you half remember and getting a single result, which you wrote several years earlier
cramming your curious cans in the car door
Coca Cola is funny, Kodak is funny, Spanx is funny, cockney is funny, kroner is funny, Polanski is funny, not if you meet him only if you say him, Kento is funny, Chris is funny, crime is funny
Blakely knew that Coca Cola and Kodak were the two most recognized brand names in the world, with both containing a strong "k" sound, words with a k in it are funny
Polanskape
Primeape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Spanx for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skanks for Nothing
wanting to hire Bill Cosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be in Skants or Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Skants for Nothing
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then make her wear skants constantly
Roman Polanski and Bryan Singer's new theme restaurant venture, Planet Rape
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
wanting to hire Denise Crosby to be on Tanks for Nothing and then kill her character off in some kind of horrible meat processing plant accident after three episodes
that grown up storks must support their parents by migrating elsewhere and conducting warfare
right in the round tables
with a garbage bag over your head on Planet Rape
going searching for space booty and plundering Cap'n Yar's golden treasure box
wondering how tough it must have been for Yar on Talk Like a Pirate Day
wondering if Yar didn't get nostalgic for the sexual freedom of Planet Rape
how much more awesome TNG would have been if instead of dying in a garbage bag erotic asphyxiation accident Yar had left the Enterprise and pursued a new career in space piracy
Lucius the Dilator
With Jawas You Teeny
regretting a pielike rat
regretting a ratlike pie
regretting like a pirate
At least therapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't in most cases result in anyone's death
With Jews You Lose
being chinned by your own chin
sleeping in your rich uncle's home to collect your inheritance
being trapped in your home by negative equity
birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let's do it, let's Eiffel Tower Kento
burning your home to the ground to collect the insurance money
a real upper decker
our Scooby Snacks, they got the whole stash
a real fixer upper
extending out back
some crazy meth addict kicking in the back door of your home and stealing your stuff
living in your car
having to call an exterminator to get rid of all the cockroaches in your home
living with your parents
sharing a duplex with a walrus
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys and burgers and fries
renting a tiny, dingy apartment with four other guys
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
that if you can't afford to buy a home, you could always rent
a loverboy of George Clooneyan proportions
WALREIN used HELPING HAND! It was HARD TO GRASP!
it's not super effective
WALREIN used HELPING HAND!
Jigglypaff
though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in
Titus the Dilator
Titus the Fox
Maslow's Dilator
I have found two nonvaginal uses for your vaginal dilators
actually googling Dilator Forums because it seemed like a thing and it kind of was a thing but then you got it
having never played a Pokemon game I'm just going to assume that the attack is also misspelled
POLANSKUNK used TRANQULIZE! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Cow Control, sic
Colic Scorn #Two
Crow Colon Tics
MC Dogs
Dilator Forums
OurNut
remembering living for those cover discs that crammed a dozen game demos onto a single three and a half inch floppy
OutRun
Ford Simulator
Ronald was showing off his magic bag at a picnic in the meadow
MC Kids
well that was unfortunate timing
RAPODILE used HYPNOSIS! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
The player controls one of two crocodile twins named "Funk" and "Punk" respectively in an attempt to rescue a crocodile girl
Cool Croc Twins
Instigator evolves into Rapodile at level twenty two
Charles Bdsmingus
it's pro walrus
"Instigator" would be a good name for a Pokemon
the Bill is about animals abusing people
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by a walrus and an alligator
the very notion that the walrus wasn't an instigator
When you Eiffel Tower those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
the very notion that the walrus wasn't a willing participant
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Animal Abuse Bill Heading To Gov Patrick's Desk
B D S M I N G O
doing a google news search for Christopher Lydon and getting the headline "Boston Police Colon Suspect Committed Two Sexual Assaults
BDSMNPR
if you could see that far
BDSMNFL
When you whip those you love, it's not about abuse, but love
that at the present rate regret one hundred thousand will be entered sometime around October twenty fifteen
going groping around for Shaggy's erect penis
that scene where Velma loses her glasses and she goes groping around looking for them and she grabs something that she thinks is just Shaggy's erect penis but it turns out is actually a floating haunted dildo
being left a fortune in your rich Uncle Bicoid's will on condition that you spend one night in his haunted mansion and also use at least three of his dildos
spooky appliances, specifically, haunted dildos
spooky appliances
the immersion heater switching off as soon as you start talking about it
how loud the immersion heater in your bathroom is
hov much vas dog on the vindov
It vas so motch dog on the vindov
I came with a great fart and disappeared as a prick in the sky
I had a very big fart, and suddenly I fucked off the road
In Norway we rape after dinner, and then the girspak got broken
I had a stop in the start
New England style swan chowder
honestly thinking that Nicole Dieker is a bigger celebrity than Chris Lydon
It's not the fart that's kill you, it's the smell
New England style man chowder
New England style clam chowder
Two hand grenades
wondering if Chris Lydon is the Celebrity Regretter, wicked pissah
A large haul of World War One and Two hand grenades, rifles, mortar shells, guns and ammunition have been found in a house in Hertfordshire
pokeman, puking out his chu up here aloni
wondering who would win in a fight, Dale Gribble or Anakin Skywalker
that as of this regret there are only one hundred and seventy five instances of the phrase "Chris Lydon and a walrus" on the amazing Regret Index
Kento taking a selfie of himself being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
pokeman, piking out his chu up here alone
seeing the words " ryan north of dinosaur comics and project wonderful fame" and wondering if Ryan is the Celebrity Regretter, eh
pocket sand, burning out his fuse up here alone
not liking pocket sand
POCKET SAND!
giving Kento an upper decker for his birthday
Joan Rivers's doctor 'took a SELFIE' with the comedian as she was under anesthesia and just moments before she went into cardiac arrest that killed her
Saya no Uta
scusing me while I kiss this guy
scusing me while I kiss the sky
agreeing to meet the swan one last time and getting it to admit that the two of you had some good times together, then being mauled by a swan in a bittersweet, tender way for the very last time
posting ever more frequently on r hookupswithswans
harbouring revenge fantasies for months, then running into the swan with its family one day and realising it just wanted to feel free for a while, then being mauled by a family of swans
taking a swan out to see a movie, didn't have to pay to get it in
going through a vulnerable period in which you hook up with a few geese, but it just isn't the same
whimpering "I don't understand, was it really just physical for you" as the swan leaves your bloody and beaten form by the riverside and glides gracefully away
Herobrine Williams
wondering if swans passive aggressively order terrible big gulp coffees loaded with sugar so that they can attack anyone who suggests switching to decaf
wondering if swans like coffee
swans with benefits
you rowing a boat down a slow river on a summer's day, and the swan viciously attacking you, like two giddy young things in love
that you're not sure you would like dating a swan, but at least it would be something that you could say you'd done, and it wouldn't have to be serious, just a bit of fun
voting "no" on the regret "dating a swan" even though you've never dated a swan
busty chickens
IT IS LARGER WET
Irving Berlin having choke sex with Kento in Kanto
IT IS REGRET LAW
sometimes forgetting that in the Regret Index Canon, the walrus ALWAYS enters from behind
Busty Kento Choking On Walrus For Podcaster
Busty Kento Choking Walrus For Podcaster
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Swan
Husband Busted For Choking Wife UNDER Chicken
Husband Busted For Choking Chicken Over Wife
Chicken Busted For Choking Husband Over Wife
Husband Busted For Choking Wife Over Chicken
Texas pizza employee who rubbed genitals on customer's order apologizes colon cops
Newcomb's paradox
Objectivists can only use cars they have constructed themselves, starting with the raw materials and using their own designs
high domed Vegans
wanting to buy that "Objectivists Do It Aynally" bumper sticker for Kento, but doubting he has a car
Rhaandarites
The Infamous Irons of William Waffles
first crystal tears fall as snowflakes on your body
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and butter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
infectious mononucleosis
The Burger Family
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Bonzo blows judges away
In the September twenty twelve issue of The Walrus magazine, the cover story "Manufacturing Taste" by Sasha Chapman details the history of the Canadian cheese industry and Kraft's impact on it
that Kecleon's sprite actually doesn't change color when it changes type
'Dancing With the Stars' Colon Alfonso Ribeiro blows judges away
making a Kento golem out of steak and shakes for the purposes of licking dudes
Timerider Colon The Adventure of Lyle Swann
meat Kento, or Meato, as Fellato may also be described
making a Kento golem out of waffles and Danish remoulade for the purposes of blowing dudes
I don't want to put Kento out of work
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a golem made of kimchee could possibly blow a dude
making a Kento golem out of kimchee and bitter tears for the purposes of blowing dudes
that blowing dudes is pretty much the only thing that Kento can do well, so he might as well change his name
Fellato Ikeda
misreading "Kento" as "Fellato" and thinking you've probably spent too much time here
no good could come of it
wondering if regret two nine zero six nine was written by Kento, and what came of it
Schindler's lithp
Schindler's lift
the John Thomas region
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in Eiffel Towering of fat gay Asians abd calls for people and walruses on both sides of Kento to rein in the abuse
The NUJ has expressed concern at the increase in intimidation and bullying of journalists covering the independence referendum and calls for people on both sides of the campaign to rein in the abuse
Kento failing to live by the precepts of Objectivism and instead have greatness thrust upon him through the actions of others, sometimes four or five times a night
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon thrusting greatness upon Kento
some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them
kink ate ode
a noted kike
toad ink, eek!
I Toke Naked
Kento Ikeda
the Johto region
And immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders, Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "Make him close his damn robe"
when you're the Messiah, nobody wants to be the one to say "put 'em back inside"
imagining that Jesus just kind of walks around in heaven hanging his boys down through the clouds at the world below
not hitting jesus' balls
hitting jesus' balls
jumping in this guy
not jumping in the sky
jumping in the sky
yo mama so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls
Yo mama so dumb when she pay the hardboiled cockney gumshoe she use kroner
Yo mama so fat when she eat fried chicken the sun go supernova
Yo mama teeth are so blue when she go outside everyone be all 'is that yo final answer'
Yo mama teeth are so yellow when she closes her mouth her butt lights up
Yo mama teeth are so big she flosses with a blanket
cock, you just banged on the table tonight
banging your cock on the corner of the table when you got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night
Tex Avery
the day the Bangkok Marketing Board decided to play up to the city's name by promoting sex tourism
sex slavery
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert, crikey
TWO nights in Bangkok
Kanye West tries to shave man in wheelchair during Sydney concert
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into dandy sty during ensign concert
Archer gets a face, fuck
bottoming for T'Pol in Vulcan Fuck Pinch VII
Archer gets a face fuck
Archer gets a face full
Kanye West tries to shame man in wheelchair into standing during Sydney concert
Kim Kangaskhan
that the "baby" in the pouch is not a child, but rather a parasitic conjoined twin
the doctrine of original kangaskhan
it's Kangaskhan all the way down
ashcan babies
Even with the advent of breeding and baby Pokemon, the baby Kangaskhan has yet to be made into a separate Pokemon, and as a result, all Kangaskhan are born with a baby already in their pouch
Man Academy II Colon Rites of Passage
Man Academy Colon Where Boys Grow Up!
Jollo finds mint repulsive
Naked Swan Poo
Jollo
accidentally joining PEETAP instead of PETAP
Naked Man Poo
Naked Moan OP
Pokemadonna
that we are living in the Pokemon world
UN peacekeepers brought in to put an end to an "unprecedented number" of chinnings
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world be grass type Pokemon
having a few concerns about the possibility of brief violence from the supporters of the losing side, but only at a very local level
not expecting Scottish independence
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat ass type Pokemon
Scottish independence could mean messy divorce
wondering if vegans in the Pokemon world eat grass type Pokemon
that pandas are born with sterile guts, and they could talk then literally the first thing their single mothers would say to them would be "eat shit"
PETAP
being racist against dogs, and also Pokemon
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to eat an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
that you actually support breed specific dog restrictions
that in college, you wrote a spec script for Pokemon in which Ash and company went to a town that had banned Dark type pokemon intending to make it an allegory against racism but it turned out to be an argument against breed specific dog restrictions
image searching "fatass Ketchum"
image searching "fat Ash Ketchum"
image searching "Ash Ketchum being"
image searching "Ash Ketchum eating"
always imagining that Ash was Asian but realising that was probably a racist assumption you made based on seeing him eat with what you assumed were chopsticks
imagining Snorlax has a reproductive cycle much like that of the Panda and therefore poses little risk even if not neutered, then spending ten minutes reading about how pandas are basically screwed
wondering if there are even Asians in the Pokemon world
predatory Walrein would groom their trainers by bringing them snacks
Walrein would seek out and have sex with fat gay Asians
not even wanting to imagine what Walrein would do
thinking that an intact Snorlax would be just impossible to have around
not at the Ketchum residence
wondering if neutering Pokemon is common practice
The Alyssa Milano Carolingian Renaissance
Futaynari
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and Andrew Zimmern whilst skiing Carlo Gesualdo and a futanari Ayn Rand and Slash watches from afar and masturbates
having impure thoughts about giving a teenage Alyssa Milano a Cleveland steamer
having impure thoughts about a tramp steamer Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steampunk Alyssa Milano
having impure thoughts about a steam age Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano's Teen Steam Workout Video
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and Slash
stepping into the velvet of the morning
you can't blame him, if you were likely to have sex with Chris Lydon you'd want to be drunk as well
Kento is drunk right now
the world was new beneath a blue umbrella sky
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
I'm never alone
I'll never forget where you're at
every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you
life finds a way
it can be both
wondering if we're talking about food or sex here
drawing a picture of Kento being split five ways with some fries
Kento realizing that he can really only pleasure four men and slash or animals at once
trying to split your attention five ways
comely lasses
keeping pushin' till it's understood and those badlands start treating you good
The Olives Up Your Butt Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
putting olives up your butt at Olive Garden
The Olive Garden Booty Eating Rennaisance
The Olive Garden Brand War of Jenkins Ear
Paul Allen sues over Nazi tank he says he bought
The Olive Garden Brand Rennaisance
Investor rips into Olive Garden
Rachel Ray Antiperspirant four Excessive Underarm Sweating No More Sweat Pack of eight
the fifth result for "Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'" being "Rachel Ray colon cleanse"
The Eiffel Towering French Conductance
Brown added colon 'If you control your anger rather than letting it control you, your punches will be more accurate and cause more damage'
Chris Brown gives advice to Ray Rice colon 'It's how you control your anger'
resistance
The Eiffel Towering French Resistance
The Arse Eating Swinging London, Cheerio
The Booty Eating Syrian Civil War
The Booty Eating Chalcolithic
Professor Pussywillow
The Booty Eating Second World War
you can probably see where I'm going with this
The Booty Eating Great War
The Booty Eating Industrial Revolution
The Booty Eating Enlightenment
that gay men don't have a monopoly on anuses
The Booty Eating Renaissance
Yeah I eat booty! Real niggas eat booty! Real niggas please they bitches!
having sex with Myke Hawke
having sex with my maid
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers, Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
Doctor Who Worked on Joan Rivers Steps Down From Post at Medical Clinic
having sex with your maid
wondering how well documented Chris Lydon's whereabouts during the spring of eighty one are
It has been brought to the attention of the police department and the district office that adults dressed as clowns have been bothering children to and from school
getting around to watching Mom's the Word and thinking that the plot is crap but Cruel Anal Labs really never did give a bad performance
Lieutenant Commander K'athy B'ates, the three buttocked Latina Ewok striptease queen
Kathy Bates, Ewok
Kathy Bates' Butt TRIPLE
Kathy Bates' Butt Double
Sandrash
Clapras
Vulvapix
HIVsaur
when infected characters teleported from Zul'Gurub to Ironforge or Orgrimmar, Corrupted Blood came with them
Penusaur
Cumbreon
Walreip
Masturbuzz
Vulvaby
Willypede
Fannypede
Drilhur
Lhydon
Mespurt
Inheatran
Fuxie
Botom
Testacruel
Testacool
Peedrill
Proboass
Fuk
Rohypnerior
Lickilicky
Arseus
Mandyke
Rapion
Rapequaza
Munchex
Brondong
k
Skantank
Suicunt
Fagsire
Veritite
Noseass
Pisseoto
Butterpee
Swallow
Dickitung
Titmonpee
Papsmeargle
Arsaring
Farfuck'd
Teddiarsa
Felatr
Cockonaw
Bangasskhan
Mom's the Word
Marofuk
Cuboner
Vuvuzelasaur
Cruel Anal Labs never gave a bad performance
naming your boobs Boob and Boobtwo
getting around to watching To Have and Have Not and thinking that the plot is crap but the performances are excellent
Boobtwo
Boob
Charmantfesses
Cartonfesses
Gaufrefesses
Cardboardbuttocks
Awfulbuttocks
Wafflebuttocks
using the word "wafflebuttocks"
Laybeef
Gynodude
Pornygon
Vulvasaur
Dickachu
Wrestmilk
tricking Roman Polanski into foe tootling touches
tricking Roman Polanski into cutting footloose, eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Footless Dig, Eh
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Hose Fist Lodge
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to Goosed Elf Shit
tricking Roman Polanski into moving to the Isle of Dogs
your dead dogs don't trump my Constitutional rights
your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights
driving around in a dump fuck
court documents unsealed Thursday that illuminate how federal officials forced American tech companies to participate in the NSA's controversial PRISM program
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Jackson C Frank in Eye at School
Teacher Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg at School
taping the hugest dumpy fucker
taking the hugest dumpy fucker
being trapped in Cat's Bottom by negative equity
turning on all the Ewoks with the garbage mashers on the detention level
Ewoks have serious problems with garbage detention
dumpy fuckers
Ewoks have serious problems with fluid retention
holding your buttocks when you run down the stairs
Eegah Colon The Name Written in Blood
you should never buy in Cat's Bottom, only rent
that even though Ewoks have twice the mass of humans of the same height, it doesn't necessarily mean they're twice as dense, they could just be little fat dumpy fuckers
topping for Tasha Yar in Rape Gangs of Turkana IV
Kate's utter lack of maternal instincts leading her to believe that the best way to give little George a haircut is with a bench grinder
space bear density mystery solved
it is therefore reasonable to assume that very dense sapient space bears provide the extra mass for their small, slow spinning planetoid to gain Earthlike gravity
that Wookieepedia lists the diameter of Endor as roughly one third of Earth, yet despite not visibly spinning much faster than Earth it appears to have Earthlike gravity
the death of Richard Kiel
Rape gangs of Turkana IV
Wrigley's Pleasure Planet
property for sale in Cat's Bottom
Cockramsbutt
Naacad, eh
Naacal
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby giving off sparks
just kind of assuming it's going to be a boy
wondering if Prince George's younger brother is going to mysteriously be a ginger as well, because as established by his uncle, the Windsor Spencer line is strong with ginger
Ewoks never miss leg day
just now realizing that Justin Bieber is the male Tila Tequila
Justin Bieber Strips Off His Clothes After Audience Boos
that Wookieepedia lists the average mass of an Ewok at fifty kg and the average height as one meter, which, by my calculations, makes them more than twice as massive as an average human of the same height
Endor
Harry Can't Wait for William to 'Suffer More' With New Baby
giving off sparks
living in a powder keg
it's just the swan
all the swans we know
all the songs we know
trompe l'oeil
it's still a gross domestic product
the awkward conversion of a manufacturing based economy to a rape based economy
poor Wicket
you have to admit that for all his faults, George Lucas never invented Planet Rape as an actual canon place that one of his main characters was from, unless you've seriously misunderstood Endor
one of them should be a fiery latina who walks like a stripper and is obsessed with an autistic boy because she comes from a planet where ninety percent of GDP is rape
that way, everyone is unhappy, but at least the sex is interesting
thinking having seen the regret every day for months now that the sure fire solution to being unable to come up with a mutually acceptable third person is simply for persons one and two to each select a person, persons three and four respectively
bag it up, Number One
having taken Yoda's advice and let go of your anger
the soundstage where the Enterprise bridge was created was inhabited by feral cats, so it was full of cat shit at first
imagining that Gene Roddenberry and Chris Lydon would have gotten on like a house on fire
the phrase "fully functional" is underlined when discussing Data
Lesley Crusher
wishing that the same people who kept Gene Roddenberry from putting three breasted Latina striptease queens in Star Trek had kept George Lucas from putting flying CGI space Jews in Star Wars
Macha Hernandez
Picard cannot help noticing that Beverly Crusher's natural walk resembles that of a striptease queen
forking Troi's boobs
In early brainstorming, the character was to have three breasts, but this was objected to by DC Fontana
troilism
see the politician sitting by the kitchen said he caught his fingers in the well he was wishing in
I, Varmint
Vitamin R
St Friedrich at the Benedictine abbey in Melk
bottoming for Toby Enema in My Crap Up Your Butt MDCCCXLVII
in eighteen forty seven a woman was given a liquid tobacco enema, supplemented with a chicken broth enema, and pills of opium and calomel, taken orally
being pretty sure there are people who have unhealthy obsessions with chicken broth
it would have to be something completely mundane and commonplace, like chicken broth or something
that the entire point of paraphilia is awareness that "normal" people find your fetish revolting, so the second we indentify something that nobody has fetishized, someone will want to fetishize it
Bulbasaur Bellsprout Chikorita
one day we'll discover something nobody has sexually fetishized or even wants to sexually fetishize
I don't even know why I bothered asking, of course there is
formicophilia
Batman bulge criticism
British boiled cockney
wondering if there is a genre of porn based around brain burrowing insect fetishism
beaucoup baise coule
Brian breasts champagne
bonny baby chihuahuas
bra burning ducks
broken bone collection
bra burning chicks
benign bowel cancer
burrowing brain centipedes
bureaucratic blame claim
Benjamin Buttocks's cans
Bob Barker's chode
bulging bluish clitoris
baked brick clay
the number of bonsai armies in Europe
getting a call from Chris Lydon in the early hours of the morning, in which he said only "It's me, come over" and then, quietly, "orf", and you knew that somehow, on some level, he was also the walrus
beautiful blouse collections
bums burning cattle
bottoming for Chris Lydon in both Brutal Butthole Carnage VII and Bruised Bloody Corpses VII
bruised bloody corpses
bust bearing chests
Bobby Brown's coke
Boutros Boutros Charlie
brain blasting crosswords
being British, cheerio
bright blue condoms
brutal butthole carnage
benevolent bedroom comfort
beautiful blind chick
big baculum cock
big bendy cock
not getting knocked down and not getting up again
The Return of Jerry Lee
putting the great ball in the balls pocket
BBC, like in porn
I won't call myself a failure, Failure is not getting knocked down, It's not getting up
Canada's Wank on Science
Canada's nice swan core
Canada's sincere wanco
having no music in your head lately
Curly Lip Rabbi Computers
Irish Data Rip, Eh
Irish Diaper Hat
Canada's Nice Raw Scone
Irish Apartheid
Canada's War on Science
an unnamed teamster shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a pellet gun when you were a kid
For years, Scott Rogers was known as the beloved host of the upbeat Around Town weekend show in Baton Rouge, Louisiana
an unnamed teamster thinking impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider on the set of Beetlejuice
an unnamed teamster thinking surly thoughts about Brigitte Helm on the set of Metropolis
Brigitte Helm having a comfort break on the set of Metropolis
wondering why it is illegal to slap or otherwise lightly assault a totally unnecessary and unhelpful middleman
Recruitment Conusltant
being slain by a neutral milk hotel
being slain by a neutral tantric bard
ILIAC library computers
pubic library computers
public library computers
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out, isn't it
that even though you wrote "is" instead of "isn't" in that last regret, you like the way it turned out
wondering how many times the Middletons have had to access the secret underground cloning vats to unfreeze another Baby George because Kate got a little frustrated and forgot that the best way to stop an infant from crying is to slam its head on concrete
imagining that the Middletons reproduce through an elaborate Minecraft style abstract resource gathering and pun heavy combination process
calling in to that radio station to win a date with Paul Simon and Sting
wondering if the Middletons use the same baby spawning service as Tom Cruise
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour having chili shits on a date
having dithecal AI, shit son
having shit chilis on a date
having Sith's chili on a date
ghost of Jacintha Saldanha unavailable for comment
Skeleton King said to be "Pleased"
Duchess of Cambridge pregnant with second child
Paul Simon and Sting announce twenty fifteen European tour
having chili shits on a date
Amihan is described as a bird who saves the first human beings, Malakas and Maganda from a bamboo plant
Chris Lydon's photo has been removed at the request of the American Library Association, due to the prevalence of ugly goth singers and fat gay Asians furiously masturbating to his picture on public library computers
Gromia sphaerica
Wikipedia also has a standing policy against the use of O face photographs to illustrate biographies of living persons
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia because the owner did not give permission for use, as the owner was a walrus and as Wikipedia has found to its cost in recent months animals cannot legally hold copyrights
star studded Ohio
that Chris Lydon's photo has been removed from Wikipedia
noting that the "star studded" list of celebrities appearing at Joan Rivers' funeral was topped by Kathie Lee Gifford and then adding the exclusive definition to your head dictionary that any list topped by Kathie Lee Gifford cannot be called star studded
Ohio
accidentally leaving your worn panties under your bed for nearly a week and noticing Obama in the crotch when you find them
that you didn't think it was possible, but Drew Carey is actually uglier now that he's offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio
Obama is the AntChrist
Fiesta de la Eurosalchicha
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival, it means nothing to me
going to that Vienna Sausage Festival
going to that Vagina Bread Festival
going to that Vagina Sausage Festival
going to that Vegan Sausage Festival
going to that Sausage Festival
Comedian Drew Carey is offering to help police find those involved in dumping a bucket of urine and feces on a special needs teen in Ohio who was reportedly told the prank was part of the "Ice Bucket Challenge"
drawing a picture of Gene Simmons's colon being threaded through by Dwayne Johnson's bizarre, lithified, Onixlike penis
Gene Simmons colon The Rock is finally dead
Maleficent II Colon Malefic Harder
Scottish education colon Statistics do not work that way
wondering how many teenagers with unhealthy Rambo or Terminator or whatever obsessions have shot up their schools or homes, including non fatal incidents
so many colon rocks
generations of inbreeding finally producing an actual sack of crap
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" if he had any sinews, but all he has is blubber, hair, and brylcreem
David Cameron would "strain every sinew" to make the case for the union
Scottish independence colon Yes camp hails 'momentum'
a man of his age needs to pay more attention to his diet, is just what I'm saying
that if Gene Simmons got more fiber in his diet he might not have so many colon rocks
Girl Attempts Murder For Slender Man, This Time By Setting House On Fire
drawing a picture of rock being Eiffel Towered by another fucking Beatles reissue and Gene Simmons
guessing that Gene Simmons doesn't want to hear that what killed rock was fat old men rereleasing the same old shit for decades on end
Chris Rhydon
Gene Simmons colon rock is finally dead
nature's sex in your hand, or a can, or a pie
nature's candy in your hand, or a can, or a pie
finding out that the young versions of the crew from the TNG episode "Rascals" are pretty much your own age, and finding it weird because they all looked so very, very young to you at the time it was first shown
not having Kento Ikeda to kick around any more
unfortunately, me no anal kidz has stopped, signed, Roman Polanski
not having Myke Hawke to kick around any more
not having Dick Nixon to kick around anymore
unfortunately, One M Anal Kidz has stopped, is what I meant to write
unfortunately, One M Naked Kidz has stopped
unfortunately, Zonked Animal has stopped
dropping your holy communion in the small of Hayden Sandman's back
Christblasting Hayden Sandman, if you know what I mean
interdicted internet
sandblasting Hayden Christensen, if you know what I mean
unfortunately, Amazon Kindle has stopped
sand shaving Christensen
mass shaving Christ
graphic Santa content
Santaism
graphic Sally content
graphic extraterrestrial contact
President Obama is an extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrials Visit Stonehenge
graphic sexual contact
shaving a cardboard booty
Sally Lowenthal
having a cardboard booty
saving Christmas
And oh how they danced
President Obama Visits Stonehenge
Satanism
Fowlrobics IV Colon Birds to Ogle
chin paint
faint APEC
graphic sexual content
where we're going we don't need comments
ears paint
chin death, a town in mourning
chin death
arse paint
ass paint
face paint
Big Red Tool Colon Clifford the Big Red Dog the Un Authorised Biography
but definitely not the last
Big Red Tool was the first Wiggles video to be banned from the airwaves for graphic sexual content
bird to ogle, cheerio
Go bred toil
bi ogre dolt
big red tool
bird to ogle
goo driblet
blog editor
giblet odor
booted girl
older bigot
tiger blood
three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death googling TILT
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic teat rape fat chin death
googling TILT
winning the Teen Choice Award for Greatest Dane with forty three and a half socks
Police investigate photo of little girl with Catholic death threat face paint
Surgery on ailing Great Dane yields forty three and a half socks
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of podracing a Jesse Ventura, though
long marriage kilt
gorilla marketing
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the candlestick' 'in the conservatory'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with the mace'
Woman beheaded in London suburb of Edmonton 'with machete'
Clown Atlas, honk honk
the cure is Swannekke
pretending to be a very dark blue seal
pretending to be a walrus
Jimmy "Big Boy" Valente, a self aggrandizing former Navy WALRUS turned professional wrestler turned politician
Those streets in St Paul must have been designed by drunken Irishmen
pretending to be a seal
you guys across the pond still have a lot of work to do before you can even think of producing a Jesse Ventura, though
it's just a shame this fine candidate has been denied the opportunity to shine on the national stage
politics needs more prison rape analogies
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting Data from the Enterprise D library computer
An alien lifeform seen on a viewscreen depicting data from the Enterprise D library c