Do you regret
trying so hard to get over your bad self?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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How much can you expect to regret ?

a world of regret

toting all those goats
all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com
little things
the only thing really stopping you going to Paris and signing up pour la legion etrangere being that you know you'd demob at forty five or fifty and have no idea what to do, no money, and probably have lost your original citizenship too
a bad day, not the worst day, but you know, with the exhaustion all week, scraping the car this afternoon, and the awkward lunch, pretty shit
rub that shit it's yours bitch, grab his dick it's yours bitch
you know you can't be lazy
that's a fine line of automobiles
Anushka Shetty
Vivienne
Knox
Pax
Shiloh
Zahara
Maddox
feeling really sad suddenly, like you've always imagined withered old FAIRIES must feel
feeling really sad suddenly, like you've always imagined withered old queens must feel
it's totes a rocket ship
noticing that tattoo for the first time, but not really seeing what it is and being curious but also very aware that you can't really stare
the awkward lunch
T%l Time
letting your teacher know that all the kids call her fartface
Suspended Teacher Allegedly T%l Student to "Lick Me Where I Fart"
Suspended Teacher Allegedly Told Student to "Lick Me Where I Fart"
writing a check for your b%wing
REGRETS ABOUT PONY BEL%WING
regrets about pony b%wing
giving someone your last R%
Han S%
l%l%l%l
y%
eating c%n
fat gay Asian boys you make the podcastin' world go round
the bell that rings inside your mind is challenging the doors of time
left alone with fat gay Asian Fanny
left alone with big fat Fanny
it's just like the season to be lonely
having impure thoughts about a twentysomething Julianna Rose Mauriello saddlebacking
having impure thoughts about a twentysomething Julianna Rose Mauriello
saddlebacking
having impure thoughts about a teenage Julianna Rose Mauriello
it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake
the whole crowd goes spaghetti
he only grows harder
he blows his own daughter
talking about poop poop poop muzik
not talking about slap slap slap muzik
talking about pop pop pop muzik
well, you talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot, talk aboot, talk about movin', eh
well, you talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about, talk about, talk about movin'
I cannot forbear carrying my watch in my hand in the coach all this afternoon, and seeing what o'clock it is one hundred times, and am apt to think with myself, how could I be so long without one
wondering why you had butt sex with Dom Deluise then wondering who could have resisted that temptation
letting it slap, slap, slap that you love hot kids
letting it slip that you love hot kids
letting slip the hot kids of love
Your potential regret of way ahead of you has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
drawing a picture of Sean Astin fellating Eliijah Wood while he takes a shit and Sir Ian McKellen watches from a tree and masturbates
Blumpkinshire
Motherfuckersville
Blindington
Effingham
Kentography, the study of drawing pictures of Kento being Eiffel Towered
wondering where you should shop your SUB Deluise sex tape
getting so high you can hear heaven ask for its nickel back
wondering why you had sex with Dom Deluise but then wondering who could have resisted that temptation
Kento isn't getting tomatillo one from me
dreaming that Ryan left a Ryanesque note to potential newcomers explaining about deep meme fields right over 'add a new regret' and a passive aggressive note beneath that asking us, me to maybe tone it down
forcing yourself to dp
they say that a hero could save us I'm not gonna stand here and wait
wondering where you should shop your Dom Deluise sex tape
wanting to make Kento some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh coriander for his birthday
letting slip the hot dogs of war
the best VEGAN fast food you've had all year being some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh cor
eating ass so often
the best fast food you've had all year being some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh coriander
wanting to make Kento a Jucy Lucy for his birthday
eating out so often
Pizza on the Roof
Malcolm in the Middle Earth
RIP Moose
Donald Trump's entire persona feels like it was built by some sort of algorithm that analyzed Twitter eggs and Nazi frog memes
or the dog from Frasier
I'd rather have Gary Fisher
hope he's got deep pockets
Gary Sanders, dog of Vermont Senator and former Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders, is to bid for the seat vacated by former Prime Minister David Cameron in Britain's parliament
Larry Sanders, older brother of Vermont Senator and former Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders, is to bid for the seat vacated by former Prime Minister David Cameron in Britain's parliament
Would you damn bastards bring those damn ballot boxes out here or we are going to set siege against the jail and blow it down!
All Star by Smash Cervix
it was awfully bloody
not every woman wants you to really smash her cervix
I should bloody well think so too
II Deep II Furious
The channel broadcasts several kinds of programming, mostly encrypted
learning to program in OneEyedPython instead of Anal C Plus
CanalPlus
Dorn's Deep having one weakness
forcing yourself too deep
forcing yourself to sleep
Harry Potter and the Order to Eat Marijuana
Ornella Fleury est une comedienne encore peu connue du grand public
Pokemon Marijuana and Resigning
Three Phoenix Cops Return to Duty After Forcing Man to Be Marijuana and Resigning
that was quick
Three Phoenix Cops Return to Duty After Forcing Man to Eat Marijuana and Resigning
She had mocked the actor for being sodomised by a three metre tall demon in one of his films and then suggested her fantasy would be for him to invite his friends Leonardo di Caprio and Brad Pitt round to their hotel room, but then for him to leave
Three Phoenix Cops Resign After Forcing Man to Eat Marijuana
inserting three AAA sized batteries into Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner SOUNDED by Feds in New York for Alleged Sexts to Teen
Anthony Weiner Probed by Feds in New York for Alleged Sexts to Teen
The Crown Prosecution Service has advised that it is unable to investigate whether someone is or is not in fact a right cunt
The Crown Prosecution Service is to review allegations that Nigel Farage incited racial and religious hatred during the EU referendum campaign
on balance off balance doesn't matter
Lazy Town Cooking by the book remix ft Lil Jon
a fairly notorious semen by the Rev wait I'm not falling for your trap, you can write this one yourself
a fairly notorious sermon by the Rev John Cumming
Once and future Spermtails star Kento Ikeda
Current Spermtails star Kento Ikeda
Former Spermtails star CJ de Mooi
Former Eggheads star CJ de Mooi
the Kaiba Dome
die schnapsidee
North Las Vegas doctor arrested amid lewdness investigation
Breen Beru
Breen
Reagan, Goneril, and Kentodelia
Gonald Trumeda
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of wanking into doors
Donto Trumeda, Jedi Master
using the magnificent power of science to fulfill your own selfish ambitions
Donto Trumeda
doubleunsemengood
that it's pretty much unjust semen
that it's pretty much just semen
tuskerfucks
tustardtucks
clusterfucks
no screaming eagle shit
oh baby a triple!
Union Jack to be replaced by animated gif of Agadoo
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors
we're actually having a rebrand, we're going to be the Bunglish from now on
Your comment must be in British or it will be removed
Your comment must be in English or it will be removed
The crystal tears of a mountain giant
Stonetear
One person fatally shot in second night of protests in Charlotte following shooting
sending cash through the human centipede
not particularly
Hey, I'm going to pop both of my balls by squeezing them really hard, Wanna watch
sending cash through the mail
NASA to Hold Media Call on Evidence of Surprising Activity on Uranus
Britain approves referendum to leave Europan Union
NASA to Hold Media Call on Evidence of Surprising Activity on Europa
drawing a picture of Tinky Winky and Dipsy eh ohing on Coolio with the caption "Time for Tubby Tustard"
bottoming for Coolio in I'll F U When U Get There VII
thinking of visiting the wizard to see if he can get you one a them brains
wishing you were better at sound editing so you could turn Coolio's "I'll C U When U Get There" into a Teletubbies dub
spreading the hugest male
spanning the hugest male
making the hugest spanner
chlamydia while you take the hugest vacation
chlamydia while you take the vacation of a lifetime
making a spanner out of Bruce Banner's poo
catching these men
Because we wanted to make your holiday as romantic and relaxing as possible, only couples may stay at Sandals, where you can catch chlamydia while you take the vacation of a lifetime
sandals
sandle semen
semen Sandler
you've never pissed like this before, people are coming from all over the world to piss here
best piss ever
A pub in Nottingham has put Donald Trump's face in a urinal
Bono demands flags nationwide be lowered in memorium of his deceased hat
Utwo reconnaissance aircraft crashes in California, one dead
bottoming for Mel Gibson in Lethal Swan IX
fremen semen
the very notion that a swan would need any assistance in being lethal
Swan sues Samsung, saying Note VII non lethal
Man sues Samsung, saying Note VII exploded in his pants
Thigh Wang dumpster
Shin Dong bin
semen slander, I only just met 'er
I only just met 'er
chafing the dollar vagina
CHAFETHEDOLLARVAGINA
fooling the Who again
Chappaquiddick
semen slander
grass stains libel
ground in dirt libel
egg libel
SEMEN libel
blood libel
applying for a job at Steak n Shake
There have been news reports that the Zionist regime, in the case of the catastrophe of Haiti, and under the pretext of providing relief to the people of Haiti, is stealing the organs of these wretched people
German industrial metal music blasted frequently, A bright strobe light came on intermittently, and when it wasn't on a TV constantly played a loop of interracial porn
Picard told The Courant Thursday that he was standing near a state police DUI enforcement checkpoint near the on ramp to I eightyfour on Park Road at about seven pm holding a sign that read "Cops ahead, Keep calm and remain silent"
Husband of Jim Carrey's Girlfriend Sues for Wrongful Death After Her Suicide
I always preferred Steak n Shake myself
guessing that pizza hut is code for anal
watching a bad music video for an awful song and seeing the knowledge behind the mask of plastic jollity that each of the participants wears that none of them will ever enjoy more success than this
guessing that there really are some jobs worse than enforced prostitution
honestly not being able to figure out if it was a song genuinely intended for six year olds or if it was some kind of tissue thin sexual innuendo aimed at the Barbie Girl crowd, then conluding it was just a song for idiots
crying while listening to Fast Food Rockers Hyphen Fast Food Song
Fast Food Rockers Hyphen Fast Food Song
I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
Chive Turkeys
Chive Whitener
The Chin Review
Pokemon Defecating and Urinating
that pretty much every cover of Glycerine on youtube is better than the original
Pokemon My Old Friend Fear and You and Me
I really love your peaches want to shake your tree
and how
being pretty sure that every line from Glycerine has been entered as a regret
if you, could you, would you
bleeding just to know you're alive
you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
crying while listening to Agadoo
the years have proved to offer nothing since you moved
every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
how hard it must be to play the trumpet in a full body banana costume
"Boy" defecates on Steak n Shake playground
Boy defecates on McDonald's playground
Dolomedes dondalei
fucking out of nothing at all
making love out of nothing at all
Owing to their fearsome tusks, prodigious strength, and willingness to fight as a herd, only the most aggressive or hungry polar predators risk attacking an adult walrus
it's not the same
he'd let you do it if you asked nicely
you know I'll never love again
it was a lie
good luck with that
I would want to rivet studs into Kento's iliac crest if I were not in a relationship
I would want to glue rhinestones to JLH's pubis if I were not in a relationship
anuspectacling
Vajazzling can increase risks of infection if not properly cleaned
telling Earthlink that Kento is goddamn deliberately disabling that magnificent pony in the bathroom at church
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a California drug pony
sucking her Philippines until she used the word "church" in California
making love to other gay fish
the chairman of Cheltenham Lib Dems, Dennis Parsons, told a special session of the party conference that careers officers were not allowed to suggest Steak n Shake as employment, then added colon "Why shouldn't they"
the chairman of Cheltenham Lib Dems, Dennis Parsons, told a special session of the party conference that careers officers were not allowed to suggest prostitution as employment, then added colon "Why shouldn't they"
pretty women out walking with Harambe down my street
the nearer your destination, the more you're slip slidin' away
the last ten minutes of all the best gay porn films is taken up by two supporting characters ejaculating over one another
the last ten minutes of all the best films is taken up by two supporting characters arguing over one another
naming your droog Georgie
naming your raggy do
naming your dog Gary
naming your homo cat
honestly wondering if Altered States gets any better or whether the remaining hour is just more stakeless nonsense about an inexplicably successful asshole taking drugs
naming your cat Homo
drawing a picture of Go and Kento pegging one another as they sixty nine and then showing it them when they finish
drawing a picture of Go and Kento pegging one another as they sixty nine
just about to do it now
going inside Pee Ikeda
h haven't d d done it y yet
peeing inside Go Ikeda
wanting to make Kento a spaghetto for his birthday
completely forgetting you made coffee
drawing a picture of Clifford the Big Red Dog smearing peanut butter on his genitals as Kento looks on
getting some danish remoulade on yo baculum
getting some peanut butter on yo dick
getting some butches on yo vulva
getting some bitches on yo dick
it's not about what he likes
he likes it dry
wanting to give Kento a butterFIST for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a butthurtfinger for his birthday
nt
I've bee here before, it ain' gonna work no more
Grandmother with biggest teeth in UK now wants granddaughter to come closer
Grandmother with biggest breasts in UK now wants smallest waist for wedding
your boobs buying rugrats on ebay
sucking her left one until she had a rugrat
triple rugrats' cocks
rugrats about pony blowing
Regrets in Paris
wanting to give Kento a butterfinger for his birthday
Rugrats in Paris
it happened to Spider Man and he's a hero
Hillary Clinton Is Actually Dead and Has Been Cloned
shaving paradise and putting up a parking lot
I got in one little gunfight and mom got scared, she said "MORE GUNS"
shootin' some bystanders outside of the school
A gun toting madman and an innocent bystander were fatally shot during a chaotic West Philadelphia shootout that also left two cops and three civilians wounded Friday evening, authorities said
bottoming for Mel Gibson in The Ninth Child
Mel Gibson's Girlfriend Is Pregnant With His Ninth Child!
your boobs buying food in Suffolk
your boobs buying food in Essex
Quisling pandas
tricking turtles into making turtle soup
Pyura chilensis
Sir's sex gel
E sex girls
Essex girls
Lowly Nude Cams
My Uncle Oswald
The deaths of a woman and a large woman
#blackscreensmatter
These updates help protect you in an online world
"Hi", "We've updated your PC" OMINOUS BLACK SCREEN
Working on updates
saying "this computer doesn't need updating, it needs a priest" in Hawkeye voice
Preparing to configure Windows
scrotegirls
demidickgirls
something something John Updike something Amsterdam something fingers something lesbian prostitute something something the aristocrats
catching fire
that as much as you liked the OS upgrades on the Stevens Mk VII, you really wish they had made the whole dickgirl thing an option
Ikeda Five Thousand and One, the original GoBot
it depends on whether they're automatic or manual
wondering whether the self driving cars will side with humanity or with the hand job robots
takearobottoafternoontea dot co dot uk
Yahoo! became self aware and decided to retire
August twenty ninth, nineteen ninety seven colon botbangers dot co dot uk becomes self aware
wondering if people in the future will really use robots for sex, and at what point the naming scheme will become a problem, like "Mk VII" or "version two point zero point two ALPHA underscore FIXED"
this is exactly what I'm talking about, Eleanor has obviously programmed the Mk VII to choose banging a door and actually getting off on it over any kind of sexual activity with me, that whole site is a scam
and I do mean banging
you say that now, but just wait until the Portman Mk VII comes banging on your door
I'm good thanks, I don't need a weird alien hand job robot to get off
that if we don't address these ethical questions about robots, we'll never reach the point where Scarlett Johanssonbot wanders the Scottish countryside banging bottomlessly hideous men
tricking a self driving car into crashing into another self driving car
goddamndeliberatelydisabledmodem dot mit dot edu
firstpleasuringthentorturingthenkillingmachines dot mit dot edu
fuckingmachines dot mit dot edu
saving the life of a unmarried teen mother at the expense of two wealth creating cats
analmachine dot mit dot edu
handjobmachine dot mit dot edu
moralmachine dot mit dot edu
look at these cans
look at this toast
toasting a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Burnt Impressions
look at this ass
that's quite the butthole
this ass
that's quite the ask
eating a butthole aficionado
something something Under the Foreskin something Ewan McGregor something something Liam Neeson
something something Under the Skin something Scarlett Johansson something something Aberdeen Anus
it's very uncomfortable because it's reminiscent of all the creeping I've done
I don't like how creepy I sound sometimes
not me, you
being a butthole aficionado
if it were possible I guarantee it would have been done already
I'm not saying if you had a higher resolution copy of this film and froze it at just the right moment you might see a very famous person's butthole, but I'm not saying it's beyond the realms of possibility
films which start slow and try to coast along with the promise of full frontal nudity and possibly a butthole but which are ultimately just kind of ok
you can't eat AAA batteries
finally figuring out that Under the Skin reminds you of Terminator, without the shrill overacting and bullshit grimderp
eating four gold medals
you can't eat four gold medals
Marlon Wayans as the voice of the dolphin because they couldn't afford Chris Rock
Melodic Mr Fin, starring Jim Carrey and, let's say Anne Hathaway
bringing your Melodic Mr Fin in here
bringing your Old Firm mince in here
helping MacHawke
helping ma boab
winning Most Scottish Men's Erect Penises Personally Witnessed with seventeen boabies
fuck marry kill, Scarlett Johansson, Ewan McGregor, Tesco
wondering if Scarlett Johansson holds the record in Hollywood for Most Scottish Men's Erect Penises Personally Witnessed or if that's still Ewan McGregor's crown jewel
kind of liking that thing where actors basically just play themselves doing things they wouldn't actually do, and maybe putting on an accent, especially given some of the alternatives
she's more of an actor than I am
feeling like Scarlett Johansson's success in tricking the world into thinking she's actually an actor is one of the great scams of Hollywood, second only to Johnny Depp
Pneumonia often shrinks hands among those close to the patient and has thus been called "the baby emdickener"
Pneumonia often shortens suffering among those already close to death and has thus been called "the old man's friend"
Kento's Basilisk
unscripted prominent erections
not having been this bored by a film since Dancer in the Dark
many scenes where Johansson's character picks up men were unscripted conversations with men on the street filmed with hidden cameras
at last, a movie that's not afraid to show the mundanely awful side of British life
thinking that were you yourself to direct a movie in which most of the action appears to be in the form of Scarlett Johannson driving a large van and talking to random Scottish people in a cut glass English accent, you'd put a nude scene up front too
You can drive vehicles weighing between three thousand five hundred and seven thousand five hundred kg
wondering whether John "Rascal" Stetson really has a COne license
wondering whether Scarlett Johansson really has a CYLINDer license
wondering whether Scarlett Johansson really has a COne license
Thin Red Nukes
Her Nude Stink
The Sunk Diner
Ken Under Shit
Drunk Teens, Hi
Tusk Dinner, Eh
Red Nut Skin, Eh
Kinder Nuts, Eh
Tender Hunks I
Deerskin Hunt
Inherent Dusk
Nude Thinkers
Stunned Hiker
Hunkiest Nerd
Shrunken Tide
Resident Hunk
when you're watching a film and it seems inconceivable to you that it isn't all over the internet in gif form
Scarlett Johansson, more like Scarlett Noclothesson
Under the Skin
Mercury, Anus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune
Anustralasia
Anustria
Anustralia
this anus
Oingo Boingo
Qinling pandas
Ogopogo
protossanusgenesis
this Protoss anus
this Martian anus
parthenogenesis
Typhoon Longwang
Me and Earl Eiffel Tower the Dying Girl
attempting a ball crush
attempting a bull rush
even Manhattan sometimes needing to construct additional pylons, I'm livin' for Aiur here
even Manhattan sometimes needing to construct additional pylons
This Monument Could Be Manhattan's Answer to the Eiffel Tower, I'm Fuckin' Here
This Monument Could Be Manhattan's Answer to the Eiffel Tower
Golgonooza
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes and Colon Powell unloading on Donald Trump's scalp and chest, respectively
Emails show Colon Powerr unloading on Clinton, Rumsfeld and Trump
Emails show Colin Powell unloading on Clinton, Rumsfeld and Trump
bottoming for Ben Affleck in I Abuse Martian Anus VII
A swan has been arrested following an allegedly racially motivated attack on a pregnant woman which caused her to lose her puppy
Bobby Darin bodyslamming Bob Dylan
I use my anus
A man has been arrested following an allegedly racially motivated attack on a pregnant woman which caused her to lose her baby
Martian Anus
pantler velvet
bodyslamming Bob Dylan
antler velvet
I abuse Myke Hawke
I was drawn to it instinctively like Myke Hawke to a flame
I was drawn to it instinctively like a shark to a flame
I did receive the press pack you sent out
I know, buddy, I know
I abuse my penis
I'm like, the greatest coward, I hurt more ferociously than anyone
they say the greatest coward can hurt the most ferociously
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by French shemale jihadist suspects
they use their penises
they're actually dickgirls
it just didn't feel right drawing him with females
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by French female jihadist suspects
Martin Anuse
French female jihadist suspects were planning Eiffel Tower attack
Martin Anus
He doesn't have a job and he doesn't appear to have realised that yet
Martin Amis showing up as a sort of pseudo pimp with an upsettingly ridiculous smirk on his face
Fancy Bears
The Charmin brand has not released a festive Pumpkin Spice variety of bathroom tissue for the upcoming Fall season
I could stand in the middle of Midtown and set Muslims on fire and I wouldn't lose voters
Cops Search for Suspect in Fire Attack on Muslim Woman in Midtown Harambe McHarambeface
dicks out for, well, probably just for Mel, let's be fair here
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins to step down as hosts of The Great British Bake Off when the show moves to Channel IV, a spokeswoman confirms
Cops Search for Suspect in Fire Attack on Muslim Woman in Midtown
Harambe McHarambeface
eating bitter fart, heh
eating the afterbirth
British police say Polish man beaten by large gang in hate crime cannot enable desirable high class prostitutes without "paying" extra
British police say Polish man beaten by large gang in hate crime
cannot enable desirable high class prostitutes without "paying" extra
tl semicolon dr I'm sorry people say shitty things
I would say something like "remember that dress you wore that was really hot" in mouse voice, but you wouldn't remember by then because of alzheimers
genuinely though I think we both know that is way too forward for me
you can't prove that was me
using "that's a beautiful dress, I want to jizz on it while I rub up against you" as pickup line
Bigger, Blacker Shrek
Bigger, Blacker Shuck
the fact of almost incestuous breeding with elves and fairies
Black Shuck
doubling your population with elves and fairies if you know what I mean
Unity Valkyrie Mitford
le Front pour la Liberation des Nains de Jardin
Icelanders are few in number, so in the old times we doubled our population with tales of elves and fairies
uncompromising enmity towards the officer class as a whole, and everything military in general
look at this graft
the fact of almost incestuous breeding
wondering what graph a half centaur would look at
I really don't want to imagine that
wondering what a half Kentour would look like distending the tiny tiger of friendship
wondering what a half Kentour would look like
distending the tiny tiger of friendship
extending the tiny tiger of friendship
extending the tiny hand of friendship
sharing Victoria's Secret and getting twenty five to life for treason
Victoria's Secret under fire for suggesting women wear lingerie to work
I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September eleventh
MP for Whitey
Dan Castenutella
drowning cats in Nutella with Dan Castellaneta
eating thigh meat with Dan Castellaneta on a dam in Castile
thigh meat
Nutella
Kento Colon A centaur with human genitals
my hi hiyeaaaah gooch one time nowww
his expected replacement has promised to be "even more odious, somehow"
The former Conservative leader said he had decided it was hard to do things so they were no longer worth doing
The former Conservative leader said he had decided it was not possible to be a proper backbencher having been at the helm of the government
pitching the Scroogedlike story "Capitol Knockers" in which goblins torture a Senator for being cruel on Christmas
French PM Colon Terror threat is 'predacon'
having dumps like truck, truck, truck
French PM Colon Terror threat is 'maximal'
goblins torture a Gravedigger for being cruel on Christmas
liking to tell people "you've got SIDS" as you hand them the mustard
wondering what a half centaur would look like
eating net castella with Dan Castellaneta on a dam in Castile
chineasetaurs
liking to tell people "you've got AIDS" as you hand them the mustard
liking to tell people "you've got meal" as you hand them the ground grains
liking to tell people "you've got male" as you hand them the penis
liking to tell people "you've got maille" as you hand them the mustard
Taiwanese Braille
half chinease
THIRTY THREE SIXTY FOURTHS elves
half elves
a popular French Canadian tale of voyageurs who make a deal with the devil in order to visit their sweethearts during the night, who are located a long distance away
RIP Sting
kind of wishing Sting had died so that you could sing "Sting ain't alive" repeatedly in a falsetto
double orcs
THIRD orcs
half orcs
seeing Le Jules Verne out of the corner of your eye like once forty years ago and living in misery every day since, then thinking Loving Hut was giving you the come on but it wasn't and you don't really understand what happened there either
"accidentally" calling up Olive Garden and telling it you were just calling up Red Robin for a booty call but you dialed the wrong number
fingerbanging Olive Garden's mom in the parking lot of a strip mall
you want to get that checked out, it could be an early sign of prostate disease
it cums in pints
#PINTofpenis
#cupofpenis
they just really like to let people know they're walkin' there
I'm walkin' here, it's a beautiful day in New York, I'm walkin' here
I'm walkin' here, it's a beautiful day in New York
I'm feeling great, it's a beautiful day in New York
ex volvoing
Lane v Sabine Parish School Board
looking at Zach Braff braffing
looking at Zach Braff
in a very real sense, drinking that expired banana, we are all milk
drinking that expired banana soy milk
earwigs did Nine slash Eleven
bottoming for Dickgirl Rachel Stevens in Um Rachel Rawness VII
literally wondering several times why people were mentioning Nine slash Eleven so much this week before it dawned on you
Even though most earwigs have wings and are capable of flight, they are rarely seen in flight
wishing you had better computer skills so you could make a "Look at this Braff" Nickelback video
Entomologists suggest that the origin of the name is a reference to the appearance of the hindwings, which are unique and distinctive among insects, and resemble a human ear when unfolded
The term "pigtail" was applied to the bunch based on its resemblance to a twisted pig's tail
One of the steps in processing the tobacco was to twist a handful of leaves together to form a compact bunch that would then be cured
wondering why they call the hairstyle with two braids "pigtails" because actual pigs' tails look nothing like that and there's only one of them
here come the Lidl things
being boss at denial but best at forget
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all Eiffel Towered him with a walrus
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all ended in tears
that time you tried making a wedding cake and it all ended in tiers bottoming for Walrus Americans in Um Racial Rawness VII
bottoming for Paul Schrier and Jason Narvy in Two Bulk Two Play
ply
look, if you had ONE shot or one opportunity to stock up on two bulk two play toilet paper at half price, would you capture it or just let it slip
hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales
that time you tried making a wedding cake and it all ended in tiers
bottoming for Walrus Americans in Um Racial Rawness VII
um, racial rawness
Walrus Americans
dicking out an Ol' Rape for Harambe
pouring out an Ol' Rape for Harambe
pouring out an Aperol for Harambe
reading the headline Watch Live Colon Donald Trump Addresses 'Values Voters' as Watch Live Colon Donald Trump Addresses 'Walrus Voters'
Workers in plants run by the largest US poultry producers are regularly being denied bathroom breaks and as a result some are reduced to wearing diapers while working on the processing line
Diaper Poultry
British stag party cause outrage by taking 'selfies with blow up sex doll' at Nine slash Eleven Ground Zero memorial
ATTEMPTING ONE HUNDRED GHOST PEPPERS AND DRINKING BOTTLE OF ABSINTHE CHALLENGE SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
ATTEMPTING ONE HUNDRED GHOST PEPPERS AND DRINKING BOTTLE OF ABSINTHE CHALLENGE
Britain 'Tinka me chasa hopoe ma booty na nolia, says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
Britain 'too coarse and rough and irritating', says Trade Federation Secretary Liam Fox
Britain 'too fat and gay and Asian', says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
the Gascoyne Cecilian group Conservative Way Forward
the Thatcherite group Conservative Way Forward
natural one
Five percent of those with a favorable opinion of Trump said they believe Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
People 'play golf on Fridays rather than work' repeats dimwit, even though this is readily debunked
Britain 'not very nice to Mr Putin', says RT presenter Nigel Farage
Britain 'too lazy and fat', says corpulent, disgraced former minister Liam Fox, inexplicably returned to the front bench despite his utter failure to follow basic procedures during his last period in office
Britain 'too lazy and fat', says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
not making purple wang jokes when you had pug rape lawn
not making purple wang jokes when you had a purple wang
not making purple wang jokes when you had the chance
waxing gibbous
Florida Police Arrest Vladimir Putin For Trespassing At Publix Supermarket
the Foreign Legion's most precious relic
Colonic Depp
un quarteron de generaux en retraite
The Duchess of Baltimore
the Trump Golden Series and the Trump Executive Series
Jesus beat the shit out of women too
Marilyn Manson Colon Johnny Depp Was 'Completely Crucified' in Amber Heard Divorce
Moose Jaws is basically "Jaws with a Moose"
Zika Seems to Thrive in the Vagina
Baldwexit
in my country, Lesser Baldwins vacation in YOU
vacationing in the Lesser Baldwins
they said they were stars, but it was just the lesser Baldwins as usual
everything went from wrong to right and the stars came out and filled up this guy
everything went from wrong to right and the stars came out and filled up the sky
twelfth of never on the sand
I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul
up all hours sketching a thousand great schemes
crying while listening to Natalie Merchant
your mind runs down to where the river runs deep
We are not hate, we are love, we are somebody that stands out, we are miracle mattress, we make miracles happen
cryinh while listening to Joe Esposito's You're the Best Around
crying while listening to Mika's Happy Ending
the death of Sylvia Browne not getting circumcised
because of the boobs
that's much more masculine
crying while listening to Jewel
you know, you do a pretty good female impersonation
crying while listening to Bob Dylan's arse
crying while listening to Bob Dylan's Sara
crying while thinking about how much money you've spent on Enya records
crying while listening to Enya
born stubborn me
it's a Flange Nine Thousand
yeah I seen your graph
letting that padron plant get so stressed
love cuts just like a knife
Look at this graph
I don't wanna falun gong
ain't no personal thing, boy
Walrus Restaurant Couple
lifing the life
still better than Vida la Vida
Penguin Cafe Failure
Penguin Cafe Middle Aged
Penguin Cafe Single
Anhimidae
Spain, amigo
disinterring that species of extinct giants' mounds and violating the eyholes of their bones in order to violate them like they violated young Niagara
disinterring Kento's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like Chris Lydon and a walrus
dingledongers
Harambe Hitler
Andrew Johnson's Polar Bear Lady Garden
basically anybody who has a child in the next year or so and doesn't name it Harambe is literally Hitler
Andrew Johnson's Real Rad Rape Bong
The eyes of that species of extinct giants, whose bones fill the mounds of America, have gazed on Niagara, as ours do now
Andrew Johnson's Real Dong Rape Bra
Andrew Johnson's Balder Rape Organ
Andrew Johnson's Polar Bear Garden
wondering when the current half point for photographs is, that is to say, at what point in time had half of the photographs that have ever been taken been taken
Tiny Tench Mouth Tim
trench mouth
seeing two bald men fighting over a comb and going out to buy a new comb rather than take it back from them
being super tempted to register electroplatedpenni dot es but being embarrassed to display your handiwork to the people of Spain, amigo
being super tempted to register tinypen dot is but not having any suitably minuscule writing implements to display there
saying "airlifted home" as a euphemism for "forced mass transportation of a population against their will"
really enjoying the work of Robert Picardo ever since you were a kid and first saw Innerspace, and thus expecting to hear any day now that he's history's greatest monster
drawing a picture of Patrick Stewart and Avery Brooks fighting over a comb while Jonathan Frakes and Nana Visitor pee all over them
seeing two bald men fighting over a comb and thinking "god, I wish I were that dignified"
a fight between two bald men over a comb
feeling like the real shame of the Falklands is that those people could have been airlifted home or sent somewhere if Galtieri had been smart and offered to spend his war chest on a purchase of the islands, because Maggie totally would have sold them
Guerra de las Malvinas
just taking a step back for a moment and thinking about how racist China must be to come in for criticism from Brits
Air China receives criticism in the United Kingdom after it releases an advertisement warning passengers from visiting areas of London populated by blacks, Indians and Pakistanis
UN General Assembly unanimously passes binding resolution to outlaw snerging by twenty seventeen
Elly Jackson has written Rachel Stevens' comeback single about what a fucking sad old loser you are with nothing to show for your life, and the video features all your ex girlfriends and colleagues who hated you
Natalie Portman is expecting twin long rods #Two
Amazon Prime
Brent Spiner is expecting baby #Two
that it's probably too late for Stephen Fry and Stephen King to open a fast food franchise called Fry King
two pale hands up against the window pane
good for her
Brent Spiner is reported to be elated
Natalie Portman is expecting baby #Two
the clean were very old and look kinda dirty, the facility itself need to be remodeled
The hotel, housed in a beautiful building next to the Opera House, is ideally situated for both the tourism businessman
having a history of loosing your shit
having a history of losing your shirt
fuck marry kill, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Rodrigo Duterte
If he says great things about me, I'm going to say great things about him
the IKEDA effect
the IKEA effect
The American popstar Madonna agrees on a settlement with her former consort Guy Ritchie over their heir
the Imgurian daguerreotype of the horny podcaster
Toxoplasma gondii
the Jungian archetype of the horny podcaster
the phenotype of the wounded healer
the archetype of the wounded healer
not since the whole Brexit thing
Can I Blow a Foreigner
Homo ergaster
Can I Borrow a Feeling
gumming up Milhouse
coming up Milhouse
Stockbroker accused of rape 'thought woman was crying due to size of his penis'
I'm sorghum Miss Jackson, I'm a cereal, never meant to make your daughter cry, I am panicoideae
Rob Schneider doesn't count
fuck marry kill, a carrot, Carrot Top, Rob Schneider is a carrot!
wondering how much Lisa Simpson slash a carrot fanart there is
fuck marry kill, Milhouse, animals, a carrot
fuck marry kill, Ass, Cock, Fisty
that the other day you ordered a pizza that was half jalapenos and half olive and another that was half pepperoni and half sausage and they gave you one that was jalapenos and olives on both halves and another that was pepperoni and sausage on both halves
Frostillicus
fistillicus
method acting
the Spiner
wondering what you call it when you give the chariot to two people while penetrating a third
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes urinating on Patrick Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Make It Rain, #One"
Terry Silver tapped for CEO
Bayer reproposes to buy Monsanto, vows to become most evil corporation in the world
I don't love Missy Elliott like I wanna get two Missy Elliott tattoos
Shia LaBeouf Colon "I Don't Like the Movies That I Made with Spielberg"
bragging about eating virgin fire wombs
telling the Philippines authorities that Obama is a son of a whore
fuck marry kill, Ash, Brock, Misty
getting been up by a jet
getting ate up by a shark
Veronica Pooh Nash Poleate
your Manservice bang
fuck marry kill, Jessie, James, Meowth
your Manbang service
learning just now that there's just one bullet in Harambe
the equivalent of two Harambes are killed every day
not if you get passed around
learning just now that there's just one d in sodomizing
drawing a picture of William Shatner soddomizing French Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Incoming Message From the Big Giant Head"
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes urinating on Patrick Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Make It So, #One"
Kevin Jessie
Twin Kevin James #Two
Animal made art is not subject to copyright, such as a "photograph taken by a monkey"
drawing a picture of Kevin James smearing vaseline on his lips as he prepares to secure the funding for Paul Blart III Colon Blart Hard With a Vengeance from Adam Sandler
sending Kevin James a tshit which says "#Two Kevin James"
sending Kevin James a tshirt which says "#One Kevin James"
which active actors have eaten the most cock in the past decade
which active actors have eaten the most cod in the past decade
I guess I already knew that but it's nice to have statistical evidence
two three nine to two four eight inclusive, Kevin James
which active actors are picking the best co projects in the past decade
which active actors are picking the best projects in the past decade
wondering how the impending RAW with North Korea will affect your WWE service
wondering how the impending war with North Korea will affect your Manbang service
Nearly half of Darth Maul
wanting to double check with your low key girlfriend from when you were sixteen that she did not in fact get pregnant and never tell you, because maybe being a deadbeat absent dad is better than being forever alone
UNTIL NOW
remembering hearing as a teenager about how the local private girl's school banned hairbrushes with handles because of a rampant masturbation problem, but thinking this was an urban legend
remembering the time your girlfriend in high school told you that she used her hair brush to masturbate and thinking for like a month that she used the end with the bristles
Ullikummi
forgetting Forgetting Sarah Marshall in Tehran in Tehran
forgetting Sarah Marshall in Tehran
Walruses are fifty percent more likely than turtles to switch flippers while masturbating
bottoming for Michael McCary, Nathan Morris, Wanya Morris, and Shawn Stockman, aka Boyz IN Men, in Homotownphilly VII
busting in Kento makes them feel good
too hot to handle, too cold to hold, they're called the Ghostbusters and they're in Kento
I probably wouldn't watch it, but I'd admire him for attempting it
The Fat and the Furious
considering writing a spec script in which all of the characters from the Kevin Jamesverse appear in one movie, like Paul Blart has to stop the King of Queens from assassinating the president from Pixels
I'd watch it
Paul Blart Mauls Cop
Nearly half of American zookeepers also maul cops
Nearly half of American zookeepers are also mall cops
Nearly half of American zookeepers shoot Harambe
Nearly half of British politicians switch hands while masturbating incredulity
Nearly half of British politicians switch hands while masturbating
incredulity
Nearly half of British politicians eat vaginas
Nearly half of British politicians are vaginas
Nearly half of British women cannot name the gorilla
Nearly half of British women cannot identify the vagina
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to name baby gorilla Dr Jill Stein after announcing public competition
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to take dicks out for Harambe after announcing pubic competition
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to name baby gorilla Harambe after announcing public competition
telling Edenilson Steven Valle to eat shit
always forgetting Edenilson Steven Valle can't swim
always forgetting Tommy Vercetti can't swim
Boyz II Men ABC, BBD, GmbH, LLP, DPhil, UAV, and by the way, screw you MB
Boyz II Men ABC, BBD, GmbH, LLP, DPhil, UAV
Boyz II Men going off, not too hard, not too soft
Frosty the Snowman, had a show about pranking bros, with a corncob pipe and a button nose, so he didn't have to act
twentyfive F is below freezing
Drowning in Demi Moore's twentyfive F poo
Drowning in Demi Moore's twentyfive m poo
kill move kill move, say that you kill move
The twentyfive m indoor swimming pool has recently burnt down
kill move
love milk
mooli aioli
fight milk
making a delicious horseradish aioli and not having any old man's boner to lick it off
making a delicious horseradish aioli and having nothing to put it on
I thought it was a skype car
instinct taking over
exposing yourself to a google maps car
Jewel's boobs, uh, finding a way
wondering if the reason why Jewel thought her hands were so small was that she was always cupping her boobs with them and then saving that image for, uh, later on
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to know their hands are small while spooning Jewel's boobs
Hands are fifty percent more likely than switches to masturbate while male female
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to masturbate while switching hands
Once again, an alligator in Florida has been found with a human body in its mouth
All of her ministers are deemed to be lightweight
I'm not made of airports
kind of loving sand, that magnificent bastard
your boobs buying sand on ebay
sand and sand sandwiches
dug podrace end
dug sandhog end
nun dodged shag
dude hangs dong
It is insulting for you, who have too much ass, to think you can represent Ireland
topping for Sam the Orangutan in BACON the ORANGUTAN VII
rubbing a California waffle in the Philippines
guessing that BACON the ORANGUTAN probably PICKED his own PINEAPPLE on more than DOZENS of occasions
guessing that Ham the chimpanzee probably peeled his own banana on more than one occasion
wondering who the first person to jerk off in space was and whether the fact is recorded by their space agency
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the dicks out for harambe trope
boobs out for Sylvia Browne
the death of circumcised Sylvia Browne
remembering the good old days when bots weren't terribly sophisticated and you could reasonably assume unlikely numbers of followers were down to block buying by the account holder
White nationalists and Nazis outperformed ISIS in average friend and follower counts by a substantial margin
It is insulting for you, who genetically will never be Irish, to think you can represent Ireland
The Notorious GOP
"I like to call them 'Republackans'" is right out
instead of letting Mr Trump be his freewheeling self, his campaign has prepared lengthy answers for the submitted questions, consulting black Republicans to make sure he says the right things
mr hands while masturbating
hands while masturbating
hic ambulare americanum, rex quondam, rexque futurus
Solanum americanum, hic ambulare sum
Solanum nigrum
Roman Polanski Says 'Soddomizing Drugged Thirteen Year Old Girls Is For Pedophiles'
Bill Gates Says 'Programming Is For Nerds'
Pamela Anderson Says 'Porn Is for Losers'
females are more than fifty percent hands
Jared Fogle sues the parents of one of his victims, saying they are to blame for daughter's distress
September already, like a real jerk
never loving me again
not loving me now
breaking the chain
Urtica dioica
not knowing what you touched in the garden to get the blisters up your arm
brainous farction
wondeirng why
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to drop bombs while eating mom's spaghetti
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to cut off hands while masturbating
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to switch hands while masturbating
The Five Guys in the White Asshole
The Five Guys in the White Castle
The Man in the White Castle
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of polishing a Kill man in a possible hate crime
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of kissing a Polish man in a possible hate crime
Mexican President Told Trump Mexico Wouldn't Pay For Wall
Laverne's excellent battery life
not playing the smallest notes in your band
Diana photo blends every Sunday in her memory
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of killing a Polish man in a possible hate crime
Tone Trump
wondering if the Jada who complained about "Children with disabilities" was Jada Pinkett Smith
seriously, how much IS a First Class stamp
seeing someone describe a pair of labia as "tight" and wanting to fist them for it
popliteal fossa
seeing someone describe a pair of slacks as "tight" and wanting to punch them for it
Apple Colon give us your fuckin' money
Apple Colon You can have taxes or you can have jobs, but you can't have both
Harambe Copulates with Gene Wilder in Shock Viral Video
Man Copulates with Gene Wilder in Shock Viral Video
meat of Harambe
An Ohio restauranteur has filed an application to trademark the meat of Harambe
steaks out of Harambe
steaks out for Harambe
HARAMBE STEAKS
in the name of Harambe, what more in the name of Harambe
An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe
fuck marry kill, Gene Wilder, Nelson Mandela, the Bearenstein Bears
Man Copulates with McChicken Sandwich in Shock Viral Video
just kind of assuming that Gene Wilder had already died
the death of Gene Talia
the death of Gene Wilder, that magnificent bastard
the death of Gene Wilder
A clown in the woods has this South Carolina town on edge
slightfinity
INCOMPLETE INFINITY
After she sent him a cartoon image of a pump bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues, he responded with a graphic, homemade text and emoji image of an ejaculating penis
At one point, she sent him a shot of herself wearing a pair of black tights with a rip in the rear, near the midline, along with the message, "thank you for being a friend"
At one point, she sent him a shot of herself wearing a pair of black tights with a rip in the rear, near the midline, along with the message, "Buns of steel"
hitting me with those laser beams
that does seem to have been the problem
weiners out for Anthony
Anthony Weiner sexted busy brunette while his son was in bed with him
At least one of the photos Crotch sent the woman showed his underwear clad weiner as his son Jordan slept next to him in bed
At least one of the photos Weiner sent the woman showed his underwear clad crotch as his son Jordan slept next to him in bed
I guess it is kind of late
try getting some sleep
it'll pass
normally only feeling like this when someone switches out your teabags for caffeinated ones, but your jerk brother in law not having been around for months so that being a very unlikely scenario
Australia must be pretty terrible for that to be true
the first one is the worst, crikey
you're clearly having a much worse weekend than I am
having what you can only describe as kind of dingo claw rape attacks all weekend
having what you can only describe as kind of low grade panic attacks all weekend
wondering whether Trump was bragging or y'know actually bragging about shooting a man in the middle of fifth avenue
wondering how many questions at the first presidential debate will be in the "fuck marry kill" format
nearly braffing during dinner because a chicken tendon got wrapped around the wire of your braces and dangled partway down your throat
nearly barfing during dinner because a chicken tendon got wrapped around the wire of your braces and dangled partway down your throat
incendio
fuck marry kill, Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie, Hayden Christensen
smugness
tofu
a hollowed out cactus
burlap
hemp
wondering what vegans who are heavily sensitized to latex do for condoms
GOATSkin
to fuck your t key sooner than the rest
sheepskin
wondering what people who are heavily sensitized to latex do for condoms
wondering if opening new tabs is the extra wear that always seems to fuck your t key sooner than the rest
Inspired by graphene's "hexagonal molecular structure," LELO incorporated such a structure into the HEX, which it says is less likely to slip or tear and "maximizes sensitivity"
prefabricating Jewel's sprouts
prefabricating Jewel's bra
fuck marry kill, Kento, Brian Peppers, Sylvia Browne
prefab jewery
everything awful oh god somebody do something
Pokemon Roast and Ride
Trump Promises Crackdown On Immigrants At Iowa 'Roast And Ride' Event
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in the style of Tom of Finland
prosopagnostication
prosopagnosticism
reading a crap book about ready made Hebrews
fuck marry kill, Lauren Tom, Kiana Tom, Tom of Finland
delicious art is anal sandwiches
A Fridge Too Far
Facial Attraction, the psychological thriller for prosopagnostics
betting that there's a Fecal Attraction porno out there somewhere but really, really not wanting to confirm that
Fecal Attacker Horvath
Fetal Attacker Horvath
Fatal Attacker Horvath
eating a Mary Sue
being a Mary Sue
lots met ealing elf
self sealing stem bolts
said I'd like to know where you got the lotion
it was a dickgirl
not being sure you're allowed to write sexual regrets that aren't gay
Boob Sperm Unit I
bottoming for Buttsy Wrong in Bimbo Eruptions VII
bimbo eruptions
Blue Jayson David Frank
Amy Jo Jackdaw
that you keep hearing this bird outside that sounds like its doing the "Go Go Power Rangers" chirp
tres jols
Pujols
Poo Trols
s l o u w w
s t o o p i d d
t h i c c
that only works in Pro Tools
trying to ctrl z with a rape clip and pen
trying to ctrl z with a pencil and paper
that's a hell of a long time to have an erection, you should get your prostate checked
that Sammy the orangutan died six years ago
dicks out for Dunston
Glycon Checks In
Glycon
Gugalanna
being braffed by a scrub fairy
being slehn by a BUSTER CRABBE
that's never going to feel good
being slehn by a GARDEN STATE fairy
feels good
being slehn by a BUSTER fairy
being scrubbed by a sleh fairy
being slehn by a scrub fairy
scrub fairies, eh
fuchsia berries
fuschia berries
#arthurmemes
not actually having heard the dicks out for Harambe song that the phrase apparently started from, but being pretty sure things have now progressed to the point that it's not really important any more
a delightful and funny family film of exceptional high style
not really understanding the whole dicks out for Harambe thing
Dunston Goes Down
drawing a picture of Jason Alexander receiving a prostate exam from Dunston
Bisexual Sixty Nine Repenetrated
Highway Sixty Nine Revisited
walrusworld dot wikia dot com
Planet Walrus
Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid Double Team a Guy
New Morning Wood
Self Portrait of Being Eiffel Towered
Boston Coastline
Chris Walrus Hardon
Asian on Asian
Homo Sixtynine Revisited
Sinking It All Back In
The Flippers They Are a Graspin'
not charging those power bars when you had the chance
the bluish grey colour of cashew milk
Desmond Dekker dismounts Des Moines Iowa double decker
paper beats scissors
not being able to listen to 'The Isrealites' without hearing the 'Vitalite' lyrics instead, and hoping Desmond Dekker got a big fat payment for that awful advert using the song
centaurworld dot wikia dot com
thinking there was a Myke Hawkechafer in your bedroom but it turning out to just be a blue bottle
thinking there was a cockchafer in your bedroom but it turning out to just be a blue bottle
Law School Daze
The PAPER is the highest paid actor in REALITY
The Rock is the highest paid actor in the world
Kiana's Flex Appeal
gotta crash 'em all
Japanese truck driver playing Pokemon Go kills pedestrian
krilldigcrowd dot wikia dot com
dickgirlworld dot wikia dot com
everyone has limits
not knowing why they didn't just go with a horsedick
being mounted by loa
what some people jack off to
a video depicting an art student's performance, in which she opens a can of expired Spaghetti Os, rubs them on her shirt, and proceeds to finger herself while urinating in a can
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes smashing Patrick Stewart's mouth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
cuz he's so smoooooth
feeling like Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana would be the perfect soundtrack for a short film of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
being slain by wet orgasm shampoo
being slain by a smooth swamp ogre
that it seems like Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana has become the new All Star by Smash Mouth all of a sudden
being shaved by two hordes of barbaric yellow dwarves
hordes of barbaric yellow dwarves
believing you can touch this guy
believing you can fly
it's easy to grasp
Jerry Sandusky Colon A Year After Double Hand Transplant Nine Year Old 'Can Do More Than I Imagined'
Zion Harvey Colon A Year After Double Hand Transplant Nine Year Old 'Can Do More Than I Imagined'
fuck marry kill, Belle Gunness
fuck marry kill, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle
Stephen King's The Edging
the edging
edging
bonosexuality
robosexuality
that bonophobic
that's homophobic
finding association with Threepio to be significantly more distasteful than association with Emperor Palpatine
because Rtwo Utwo can fly YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
telling the Philippines authorities that Gordon is a moron
douchescreen displays
how even more jarring it seems that the Minority Report movie does in fact predict both wireless data transfer and touchscreens, but goes out of its way to show the cops in the ultramodern precrime unit not using those things in their office
Prince Harry Challenges Gorilla Harambe to be Shot Dead With Bullets for Fun
wishing you'd spent the last fourteen years saying 'peecrime' whenever anybody brought up the Minority Report
Peecrime
because Rtwo Dtwo can fly
much preferring the foundry scene from Attack of the Clones to the eerily similar and similarly scored one in The Minority Report
Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, & Lisa
Pine & Oats
how jarring it seems that the Minority Report movie didn't predict wireless data transfer even though it was already a thing and went to such lengths to avoid using touchscreens
NSFW party shut down after Lee Rhiannon tweets about it
Greens acrimony Colon Bob Brown unloads on Lee Rhiannon at NSFW party
Greens acrimony Colon Bob Brown unloads on Lee Rhiannon and NSW party
finding association with Bono to be significantly more distasteful than association with Jeffrey Epstein
Utwo rocker and philanthropist Bono, also a regular at foundation events, wanted high level help broadcasting a live link to the International Space Station during concerts
Prince Harambe, the racist, alcoholic, unrepentant gorilla which is clearly an orangutan but nobody ever says anything about that officially
Harambe Colon Stop making memes of our dead gorilla, Cincinnati Zoo pleads
wondering if Ghari has just been trying to get a hold of Kento all this time
The practicalities of milking cockroaches are considerable
Prince Harry Challenges Fellow Officer to Enjoy Being Referred to by Extremely Racist Epithets for Fun
chia candidate bernie sanders
Prince Harry Challenges Noted Bigot Nigel Farage to Wear a Nazi Uniform and Sing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Convicted Sex Offender Max Clifford to a Self Publicising Act of Onanism for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Football Legend Paul Gascoigne to a Drinking Contest for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Olympic Champion Usain Bolt to a Race for Fun
sulfur trioxide
dihydrogen monoxide
David the rapist
undergoing a yoloscopy
building a yoloscope
the new premium rate service for losers
chat swans, get banged
SWANBANG
bottoming for Kim Jong un in Manbang & Kill VII
MANBANG
punching Mullah Beech
that's unfortunate
My Transsexual Cousin Wants My Man
Moolah Beach
Obama's Vacation Glow May Fade Quickly Ahead Of Busty Fall
beeching Puncher Sist
punching Sister Beech
building a nohomosphere
building a noosphere
building a nooscope
Summer isn't complete without the sound of a singing katydid in your courtyard
the nooscope
urinate defecate depilate, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Patrick Stewart
I actually really like LeVar Burton, I just don't like LeVar Burton culture
that wasn't meant to be a racist thing
oh, shit
fuck marry kill LeVar Burton, Geordie LaForge, Kunta Kinte
fuck marry kill, Harambe, Binti Jua, Jambo
Brother Of Omran Daqneesh, Bloodied Syrian Boy In Viral Image, Has Died, But He's Not Nearly As Photogenic So Who Gives a Shit
Ave Maria
Abe Mario
asking that right after establishing that we can't post regret links as comments any more
wondering what the worst thing anybody has ever written is
What really did shock me more than anything was that parental consent was not sought and was not thought to be necessary by the powers that be
they might be spam
just now realizing that we can't post links to other regrets anymore
saying frankly like, a lot
writing the worst thing anybody has ever written
NAGBLA
Cincinnati firefighters said the boy was peeling back Harambe's foreskin at the time the shot was fired
fun with acrostics
dining at the P
dining at the OY
dining at the O
making a point and then making a fool of yourself
dining at the Y
fuck marry kill, eighteen year old Kento, twenty eight year old Kento, thirty eight year old Kento
man it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun
dicks out in out in out in out Kento
Cincinnati firefighters said the boy was between Harambe's legs at the time the shot was fired
dicks out in Kento
usually, yes
dicks out for Kento
wondering who had a worse life, Kento or Harambe
Pam, the local schoolmaster, was killed by the village vicar after refusing to stop fiddling around the area after dark
fearful of being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped out of the Quantum Leap Accelerator and turned the power off, then burned his notes and research papers, oh boy
Maine wants pubic comments on busty referendum season
Maine wants public's comments on busty referendum season
She told him to pray and think again
if dreams were wings, you know I would have flown to you peter masonic lodge
if dreams were wings, you know I would have flown to you
peter masonic lodge
anthony ski lodge
nude thong thong fluid
if I only had a thong
Kim Kardashian Oils Her Butt and Twerks Down Yellow Brick Road Colon GIF
Kim Kardashian Oils Her Butt and Twerks in Racy Bikini Snapchats Colon GIF
henry cabbit lodge
the emperor skekSo's rap rock band, Rage Against the Gelfling
some of those that were walrus, are the same that do podcasts
Kento's rap rock band, Rage Against the Eiffling
swimming in the same tank as Kento
sleeping in the same bed as Kento
King Horn is a Middle English chivalric romance dating back to the middle of the thirteenth century
that there is no option to vote both "no" and "haven't done it yet" for a single vote
bottoming for Steven Rachels in S&M Club VII
that S Club Party is so much better than Don't Stop Movin'
To gain a better understanding of Mr Trump's holdings and debt, The Times engaged RedVision Systems, a national property information firm, to search publicly available data
that Together Forever is so much better than Never Gonna Give You Up
sleeping in the same bed as Diglett
kentoTERRIBLE
kentowurst
wurst
sleeping in the same bed as dago
sleeping in the same bed as degu
being too busty for Myke Hawke
being too busty to make a sandwich
that Kento's birthday passed a week ago and you didn't even have a chance to make him a sandwich
because honestly, when else are you going to have that opportunity
thinking that if you are going to have sex in public and you are caught out by passers by or international news crews you owe it to yourselves to go full porno
Pedro Duncalved
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "SNICKERS sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "marathon sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves
BBC appears to air couple having sex in the background of Rio broadcast
Donald Trump poos black stools colon 'What the hell do you have to lose'
Donald Trump woos black voters colon 'What the hell do you have to lose'
Kelly Gale shows off her incredible figure in a VERY busy selfie
sleeping in the same bed as Doug Funnie
eating from the same bowl as a dog parks, no matter how small a dead gorilla
sleeping in the same bed as a dugong
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Big Willie
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Miami Beach Where Zika Is Spreading, Jig It Out, Uh
sleeping in the same bed as a dong
that's what skype is for
do you really have to watch me all the time
doing a job with your hand
that I'm not being distant, I'm just busty
Busty mom's volunteering, leadership get her belled
sleeping in the same bag as a dog
List of bustiest airports by passenger traffic
Paramedics 'bustier than ever' amid increase in seriously hurt patients
that several times over the last few days you have accidentally read the word "busier" as "bustier" in headlines
that's racist
racing in the same pod as a dug
Reszka is an instructor in krav maga, a martial art cum defence technique that is in the news because at the weekend it emerged that a company called Parli Training was offering instruction in the art to anxious MPs and their staff
eating from the same bowl as a dog
parks, no matter how small
a dead gorilla
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Jill Stein and a dead gorilla
a nice firm mushroom pate handshake
a nice firm mushroom pate
confusing Ariel Winter with Kat Dennings because apparently the faces are up there
wondering who has a girlfriend who looks like Ariel Winter
l'orange is the new duck
l'orange is to duck as harambe is to gorilla
Picture Shows Green Party Candidate Jill Stein Tied To Dead Gorilla Harambe
#ItsInOurHands
way ahead of you on that one
dicks out for Jill Stein
Poll Shows Green Party Candidate Jill Stein Tied With Dead Gorilla Harambe
Ha'Sean Treshon "Ha Ha" Clinton Dix
NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small
A Man Who Says God Punishes Gays with Natural Disasters Had His Home Destroyed in the Flood
sleeping in the same bed as a medium sized reddish dog
sleeping in the same bed as a kid
sleeping in the same bed as a dog
Officer Jenny praises victim's bravery in coming forward
gotta touch 'em all
Ketchum man charged with sexual assault
Police Colon Twin Falls sex offender flashed 'very nasty' genitals at store employee
#hillarysstools
seriously considering joining igloo finger net, eh
seriously considering joining the foreign legion
someone genuinely having thought that you would want to discuss Babyshambles so much that they put it in your phone dictionary
Baby Beast
Crispy Thich Quang Duc
English Gardner
Donald Trump Calls Himself 'Mr Brexit'
beverly penis crusher
wesley penis crusher
penis crushers
penis crushes
wondering whether you would rather slide down a very rusty and dirty emergency slide from a burning cruise liner full of spiders or be Eiffel Towered by Dickgirl Spider Woman and Thich Quang Duc
hundreds of baby spiders slid down emergency slides from the Caribbean Fantasy
hundreds slid down emergency slides from the Caribbean Fantasy
Ellen DeGeneres has been defending herself against trolls on Twitter who called her "racist" after she posted a Photoshopped image of herself pushing a family of goats toward a bridge with the caption "This is how I'm running errands from now on"
Captain W Colon The Gay Master
Ellen DeGeneres has been defending herself against people on Twitter who called her "racist" after she posted a Photoshopped image of herself riding Usain Bolt with the caption "This is how I'm running errands from now on"
FSU student storms out of restaurant, kills couple, eats victim's face, leaves negative Yelp review
FSU student storms out of restaurant, kills couple, eats victim's face
Penis crushes LITHUANIAN vaulter's Olympic dream
your tax dollars at work
Police rescue raccoon stuck tight in drain using grease and a gentle touch
Penis sighted heading for oceanic pole of inaccessibility
Penis destroys Rio, enters Atlantic ocean
Penis crushes pole vaulters, Olympic stadium
Penis crushes pole vaulters, Olympic dream
the Ur Lenny Kravitz of Iran Reality
NATURAL TALEN
Penis crushes pole vaulter's Olympic dream
all the really useless FOOD stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the NATURAL TALEN necessary to DESTROY the UR LENNY KRAVITZ of IRAN REALITY
Captain N Colon The Game Master
all the really useless shit stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the skills necessary to defeat the first LENNY KRAVITZ of Persia game
all the really useless shit stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the skills necessary to defeat the first Prince of Persia game
Cyber Zone Game Show
making it Iran
AFML
ASMR
Batman Colon Return of Such Erect Rape Dads
making it rain
Batman Colon Return of the Caped Crusaders
Frank Bainimarama
whookiee noises
wookiee noises
Whilst receiving bukkake from several individuals the subject is treated, usually forced, to several handfuls of shaved pubic hair shoved into the subjects mouth
wondering whether you would rather have a bisexual fourway with a wookiee, another guy and Princess Leia in a garbage masher on the detention level or get banged by Dickgirl Padme in the middle of the Dune Sea, without a reacharound
visiting your nan with Nana Visitor
always thinking Avery Brooks was about to burst into jazz hands whenever he did that nostril flaring anger bit and segued directly into his sweetness and light act
drawing a picture of Robert Beltran peeing on Kate Mulgrew's scalp while Tim Russ takes a dump on her chest, but it was nowhere near as good as the one you drew of Patrick Stewart
wondering whether Peter Falk and Kate Mulgrew ever hatefucked
fuck marry kill, Maris Crane, Vera Peterson, Crazy Rhoda Zimmerman
some code that took film names and ran them through a thesaurus
fuck marry kill, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman
fuck marry kill, Kim Il sung, Kim Jong il, Kim Jong un
fuck marry kill, Kim Kardashian, Kim Cardassian, Nicolas Kim Coppola
Kim Kardashian Gets DESTROYED by Minecraft
Kim Cardassian Gets DESTROYED by Angry Bajoran Mob
Kim Kardashian Gets DESTROYED by Angry Mom Blogger
not remembering what you did with the Gal Gruel Oil
not remembering what you did with the Gorilla Glue
Rossia Pacifica
fuck marry kill, Fatworld Jewel, Dickgirl Jewel, and John Carpenter's The Thing Jewel
fuck marry kill, Courtney Cox, Brian Cox, and Myke Hawke
bottoming for Courtney Cox in Cox in Your Crack VII
wondering what Bear Grylls spent so much money on that he still has to eat nutsacks
#juatdoit
#juatscrotumthings
wondering what Courtney Cox spent so much money on that she still has to work
I estimate about forty ton of rain water will go into the pond anally
Courteney Scrotumz forced to 'eat a cock full of maggots'
Courteney Cox forced to 'eat a scrotum full of maggots'
Doctor 'ripped open husband's scrotum and attacked him with umbrella when he was sick after tequila binge'
not being the fucking rice
seeing the future and it will be
having four tits
To facilitate currency transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long banking hours
Harveys Cream and Milk
Harry Sullivan is an imbecile
pokemon cream and milks, eh
Pokemon Extraordinarily Long Penises and Gonopores
pokemon hammer and sickle
Pokemon Gonopores
Pokemon GOP
Donald Trump Calls His Own Plans "Extreme"
the White Horse is the birthplace of the East London Strippers Collective
gonopores
stealing that crab's dick from the communal shell
Sacculina
A gay teenager was beaten to death in a homophobic attack by a man using a hardback book, a court heard today
that words can not hurt me
To facilitate genetic transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long penises
ASCETIC THECOSTRACANS
stoic barnacles
conical breasts
Clinton's crazy plan to build a wall between the US and Mexico
CLINTON'S CLOSE TIES TO PUTIN DESERVE SCRUTINY
The Gay Duck
Hundreds of burst spiders just ground out of the baby
I've missed you so much you can't possibly know
that's so horrible
Hundreds of ground spiders just burst out of the pussy
Hundreds of pussy spiders just burst out of the ground
The entire refrigerator was smeared with what appeared to be a sludge of some sort, varying in color from red to yellow to black
a dish called Sound of the Sea which includes an audio element
Hundreds of puppy spiders just burst out of the ground
guessing that the ice cream probably wasn't bitter
Hundreds of baby spiders just burst out of the ground
Ice cream is great!
The ice cream is as bitter and cold as the owner
You cannot go out and steal a hamburger and expect that the society will accept that, or the courts will accept that, or the general public will accept that
Hunger today seems the fault of the hungry, robble robble
You cannot go out and steal a child and expect that the society will accept that, or the courts will accept that, or the general public will accept that
Hunger today seems the fault of the hungry
wondering what it would be like if it were revealed that the Hamburgler burgled hamburgers due to abject poverty
the style of Puccini and the musical talent of Jennifer Lopez
white, chalklike fecal material
Rue "Four Dick Ass" McClanahan
thank you for bleachin' my ass
bleaching a picture of Rue McClanahan getting her butthole drawn and quartered
drawing a picture of Rue McClanahan getting her butthole bleached
BLANCHE SHAVEN Crotch
Dorothy Bush Crotch
Dorothy Straw Mann
Leroy Wood Twinkson
Dorothy Bush Koch
Percy Wood, Leroy Wood Bearson, and Thomas Mosser
the style of Gucci and the light of Lucifer
the continent or the country
India Arie
India
Cubs Apologize For Playing 'Smack My Bitch Up' Over Aroldis Chapman Exit
Erotik Kleinkunst, signiert, Roman Polanski
Die Erotik der Pokemon in Kleinkunst und Keramik
Die Erotik der Anaken in Weltraum und Sand
not chewing your food
#BlackOlivesMatter
the way that black olives often come out looking exactly like they went in
Die Erotik der Antiken in Kleinkunst und Keramik
sixtynine artists to recount sixtynine years of India post independence
you better work bitch
Germans should have to work until sixtynine, says Bundesbank
failing to thrill house
failing to kill her
failing to kiss her
failing to hold her
failing to thrill her
dicktowel dot com
kind of spooning Booby Nudebra, that magnificent bastard
Booby Nudebra
baby rub bond
Bobby Dunbar
saying that they would help his wife 'rest easier'
Belle Gunness, Jedi Knight
Belle Gunness
you gotta kind of watch it because it's hot
Weber Cooks Spaghetti
A pop up restaurant in Dublin for the brunch crowd!
taco taco
the fat man trolley dilemma
bottoming for Ryan Dochte in Robber in Rio XXXI
Ryan Lochte says he had cock pressed to his foreskin during robbery in Rio
google just being one big fucking swan
first name
Ryan Lochte says he had headed gun pressed to his forecock during robbery in Rio
Ryan Lochte says he had cocked gun pressed to his forehead during robbery in Rio
wondering whether Swan was his first name or his last name
wanting to figure out what happened to your old, improbably named roomie Swan, but google just being one big fucking swan trap
Salma Hayek as Teresa del Taco, a lesbian taco shell
going walking with the turtles, I'm walkin' here
From Here to Eternit
putting the enter and backspace keys right next to each other
From Here to Eternity
everybody knows Kentos love mashed potatoes
everybody knows Kento's made of rubber, he ain't got no feelings
dirty nuns
dirty nuns' habits
nuns' habits
your habits
you have to pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole
swimming in raw sewage beneath the streets of New York
going swimming with the turtles
Kento came in and wrote one one seven seven three two and someone else with real feelings came in and regretted heart to hearts and there may have been an australian
wondering if there was anyone else around while I was gone cramming
wondering if there was anyone else around while I was gone
cramming
Pudsey uses his ability to walk on his hind legs and knock people over to save the day
asemic writing
chocolate oat milk still being where it's at
always really liking the idea of oat milk, but then getting oat milk and it's just kind of a sad drowned cloud
I supposed that's better than suppositories
I estimate that I ate about five kilos of watermelon over the course of the week
our captain was Welsh but he didn't end every sentence with look you now or isn't it
I just walked in to find you here with that bleached look upon your ass
I'm back from Alaska with a freshly bleached asshole
the death of Kenny Baker
Pokemon Go Peepee and Go Poopoo
Pokemon Peepee and Poopoo
Pokemon Smelling Sex and Puma Man
smelling sex and Puma Man
the amazing Robert Zdar chin sex smell
the amazing Robert Zdar chin sex
smell
finding out Larry Drake died, and then not being sure whether you already knew and forgot or just didn't know
mondays for god's sake
hard to parse
ARSE TO ARSE
you either do or you don't, you can't store front
using both hands
drinking god's milk
drinking god's sake
monkeys for god's sake
heart to hearts
MOON BEES
walking around in the dark and stepping on a duck
walking around in the dark and stepping in a puddle
stepping on your pud
pud
being a phat chancellor
being a size L puds doctor
being a plus sized doctor
ask me in forever what I regret, I guarantee it'll be the same old shit
that not even regret lasts forever
i dream of twixes
himbos do the roomba
the way your toenails get sharpened by walking barefoot on sand
thinking goomba was a dunce
konami chodes
hosting a shameful himbo limbo contest
programming himbos into your game
himbos
do the roomba
thinking roomba was a dance
konami codes
be twixed
twix
it is a very serious matter indeed
there's nothing funny about sterilisation
wondering how it is you've come to be such a joke
docking after a successful cruise
ps I'm in your luggage
I guess we'll both be spending a week whale watching
Dick McBeef WITH CHEESE
that I'm going on an Alaska cruise for a week so it'll just be you and Kento until next Sunday, meow
Dick McBeef
I haven't seen a Virginia shooter that good since Seung Hui Cho
Shooter Virginia Thrasher wins first US gold at Rio Olympics
the little semicolon doctor
tl semicolon dr
wondering what you get for the woman who runs away all embarrassed like when you bring her flowers and y'know could conceivably be the daughter you never knew you had but also seems kinda disappointed that you never actually asked her out
bucketing Fatworld Jewel's boobs
bullseyeing womp rats with lead encased Kento in your Tsixteen back home
jettisoning lead encased Kento into the sun to end him for all eternity
encasing Kento in lead to end the threat he poses
you have to admit that it's a pretty sweet dick
wondering how many more times we would have to enter "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics" for Ryan to change the header image mouseover to "the number google result for Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics"
IIgirlsIcup II Colon IIcupsIIcurious
seeming to recall that all the IIgirlsIcup and swap dot exe style extreme shock porn came from Brazil
having never watched Brazilian porn
always wondering how many of the participants have been eaten by the pigs and or dogs owned by a millionaire rather than returned to their brothels in the favela when watching Brazilian porn
the Olympic village includes the world's largest storm drain system, built right under the accomodation
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Strip Ludo With Minor at Youth Camp
when thousands of athletes at the top of their game come together
the raunchiest games ever
two point six two fucks per day
forty two condoms per athlete
wondering how Fatworld Rachel Stevens died, like was she just starved to death when her local McDonalds was closed by a fatter star just passing through, or did she die in a freak freight elevator accident, or is she some kind of freak that doesn't bulk
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Dickgirl Jewel or Fatworld Jewel, but not knowing whether your desire to spoon Jewel's boobs would outweigh your love of women by the pound
Ghostbusters Colon Cum Tans of Lime
Ghostbusters Colon Sanctum of Slime
wondering whether you would rather Eiffel Tower David Cameron with dickgirl Rachel Stevens, or be Eiffel Towered by dickgirls Cameron Diaz and Rachel Stevens
The Number Google, all new screwball comedy starring Jason Bateman and Heather Graham, coming this fall on Netflix
finding Rachel Stevens' suspicious package at the Eiffel Tower
French police said the evacuation alert was based on a false alarm, reportedly about the finding of a "suspicious package"
the number google
wondering how many more times we would have to enter "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics" for us to become the number google result for "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics"
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in Myke Hawke
Dickgirls I'd Like to Fuck
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my book of condolence
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens forty foot dickgirl pics
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my obituary
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in a forty foot high mural I painted on the side of my office
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my wedding album
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my resume
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my phone background
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my harddrive
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics
Report Colon Eiffel Tower Evacuated
imaginininination
imagining something which actually exists and therefore requires no imaginination
receiving a Fieschi letter
Accounts that he had been killed by the insertion of a red hot iron or poker into his anus slowly began to circulate, possibly as a result of deliberate propaganda
Mayor on youth camp strip poker charge colon "I never endangered a child"
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Audacity works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Adobe Audition works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Reason works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
Duck I'd Like to Fuck
fictional DILFs
You could see the blood dripping from his hand and knee and he was grinning as he was walking around
A significant part of tenpin bowling history has been lost
mathematical truth
I'll go on TV and rank the races from my favorite to my least favorite
Asked About Black Friends, Clinton Says She's 'Blessed To Have A Crew'
a
cut at my labia meat, eh
spearing sexy, shirtless studs
Britney Spears' Auditions Sexy, Shirtless Studs in Her "Make Me" Music Video
mathematical beauty
i
buring yourself in a plaearium
buring yourself checking whether a lightbulb had recently been on
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing OK Stripper With Minor at Youth Camp
Pokemon George Boston and Shawn Lucas
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Pork Stripe With Minor at Youth Camp
being unable to find an age for Shawn Lucas but suspecting based on his visual appearance that the cause of death was likely heart disease, if not suicide over being involved in a high profile political argument even peripherally
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Strip Poker With Minor at Youth Camp
the death of Shawn Lucas
Mayor of rich DC suburb charged in 'meth for sex' scheme
The Ingenious scheme tried to use artificial losses arising from backing a range of films, said HMRC
testing a hypothesis
yousa poon gonna be pyoooonished
yousa tits gonna be pyoooonished
after de jedi spits meesa unrepentantly erk yousa tits
erking her left one until she had a naboogasm
once the jedi spits i'll unrepentantly erk your tits
returning Kento's package to sender
delivering Kento's package
Boston and Shaun and Constant Sobbing
Nuahs and Notsob
the palindrome of "Boston" would be "Notsob"
Boston cream pies
Agent Cantu's physical manipulation of Petitioner's carry on bag violated the Fourth Amendment's proscription against unreasonable searches
stopping wanting to fuck me like an animal and fucking me like an animal
once the STEPHANIE lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin
once the dj lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most Asian popular performers in the world"
As part of the Wiggles, Asiann became one of the "most popular gay performers in the world"
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most popular Asian performers in the world"
Bloom was using his penis to promote his girlfriend's hit single, "Rise," and its music video, premiering Thursday on Vevo
partying with your pants unbuttoned before going back to the cult
find your inner shitbag
Ben Affleck Arrives to Suicide Squad After Party With His Pants Unbuttoned
Bro Radley
Any joke that suggests Trump is not actually as wealthy as he claims to be
drawing a picture of Tannakin Skinker saying "I don't like bacon, it's salty and tough and irritating and the internet loves it"
Fatworld Peppa Pig
wondering if editors from the Peppa Pig wiki ever visit the Peppa Pig Fanon wiki and delete large sections with an angry "THIS IS NOT CANON" as the edit summary
rumour swept London that a pig faced woman was living in Marylebone
Damne Wuweeh
let he who is without bowels take the hugest dump
it's no wonder he struggles to take the hugest dump
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the BIGGEST penis
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger penis
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger picture
It's pretty small
An imprint of Trump's right hand was found on display at Madame Tussaud's New York wax museum by the Hollywood Reporter
You just so out of line right now, tell your candidate to release his tax returns
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a walrus could possibly put on a lime green thong
Don't smile and wank!
MARCIA GAY used HARDEN! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Marcia Steak n Shake
Marcia Olive Garden
Marcia Asian Harden
Marcia Fat Harden
Marcia Gay Harden
grinding light tin, eh
riding the lightning, if you know what I mean
riding the lightning
Don't smile and think!
Strong Poetic Walrus
Pulsating Worst Core
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes brushing Patrick Stewart's teeth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
Joseph Corrao, forty five, was arrested after grabbing "Pinky the Dancing Flamingo" from her pen and throwing her to the ground Tuesday evening with such force that her foot was nearly severed, according to a police report obtained by the Tampa Bay Times
Pokemon Brushing Your Teeth and Peeing
trying to save time by brushing your teeth and peeing simultaneously, but then SWALLOWING all over your own weenus as you try to SWALLOW into the toilet, not that you're trying to brag or anything
Wallaby Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Boomerang on Australia's Got Talent, Crikey
trying to save time by brushing your teeth and peeing simultaneously, but then spitting all over your own weenus as you try to spit into the toilet, not that you're trying to brag or anything
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, outrageous
Kento, in a Lincoln green thong, being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon in a Lincoln green thong and a walrus in a Lincoln green thong
Contestant Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Arrow on Australia's Got Talent, Crikey
America's Got Not Quite As Much Talent As It Thought, Apparently
Contestant Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Arrow on America's Got Talent
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Ash kills that Latias in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, cursed
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, a child
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, a script
trying to fight for the Regret Index user
trying to befoul a Regret Index user
trying to bevel a Regret Index user
trying to vajazzle a Regret Index user
trying to bejewel a Regret Index user
Donald and Hobbes
My So Called Finer Boric Rape Flesh
My So Called Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Jared Leto striking you as the kind of guy who'd mooch off Uncle Phil for years, living in his poolhouse and acting like a child even though he was clearly an adult
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's pennies have electroplated from the cold
Will Smith in Suicide Squad looking a lot like Uncle Phil
I heard that in YOUR MOM on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from the cold
We need this site to be shut down because It's Critics always give The DC Extended Universe movies unjust Bad Reviews, Like one Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice, two Suicide Squad and that Affects people's opinion even if it's a really great movies
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from YOUR MOM
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from the cold
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive lather up rape, a military decoration awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive a Purple Heart, a rotten racial idion awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military, ay
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive a Purple Heart, a military decoration awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military
Then they came for me, and I did not speak out, because I didn't realize what was happening
Then they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was a Slowpoke
First they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was a Slowpoke
bananach, do doo de do do de do do de do do de do do doodle do do do doo do
drawing a picture of Joe Biden being Washington Monumented by two IDENTICAL gay White House officials in his house
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me
Then they came for the Pikachus, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Pikachu
Then they came for the Tentacruels, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Tentacruel
First they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Slowpoke
drawing a picture of Joe Biden being Washington Monumented by two gay White House officials in his house
Joe Biden marries two gay White House officials at his house, Mr Biden seems determined to have a good time during his last months as vice president
prickin'
Talk you off what, Pop Pop
I pitched Satan's Snatch to Animal Planet and they never even returned my calls
RIP Nick
Gigi has taken such an aversion to new kitten Suki so much that Brit journalists Julie and Nick fear that her aggression may lead to the latter getting killed
I pitched My Pussy From Perdition to Animal Planet years ago and they totally ripped me off
the host of Animal Planet shit show My Cat From Hell
Jackson Galaxy, Tattooine moisture farmer
Jackson Galaxy
bullseyeing womp pigs in your TSixteen back home
pony torpedoes can't penetrate porcine exhaust ports
hey guys, remember Exeggutor alola form
trying to behead a Regret Index user
that's not what Chewie said
proton torpedoes can't penetrate thermal exhaust ports, if you know what I mean
proton torpedoes can't penetrate thermal exhaust ports
drawing a picure of Keno being Eiffel Owered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in a planearium
Keno Ikeda, predatory odobenophile
Whoopi Goldberg, predatory pedophile
Rube Goldberg, predatory pedophile
Of particular concern is the fact that users can purchase "lures" to attract gamers to their area, an option that pedophiles could seek to exploit
New York State Bans Sex Offenders From Playing Pokemon Go
Every Jerry Sandusky Slap Slap Slapping Noise Ever
being boiled alive by Gumshoos
Gumshoos used HARDBOILED! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
not believing all the sacrifices Gumshoos has made
Exeggutor alola form
Every Arnold Scream From Every Arnold Movie
Every Tim Allen Grunt
Every Michael Jackson Grunt
you say you don't know, you won't know until you begin
roasting her beef one until she ate it off of her own breasts
trying to undress a Regret Index user
trying to give a Regret Index user a hot brown sandwich in the communal laundry room
stealing that Regret Index user's briefs from the communal laundry room
trying to debrief a Regret Index user
trying to deglove a Regret Index user
Talonflame Lickitung and Chansey, the Pokemon from Ipanema go clubbing and when they club the club they go to is the Copa, Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havana, I'm walkin' here
Pokemon Ipanema and Copacabana
Not only are some MCD athletes at risk of getting violently ill in water competitions, but the AP's tests indicate that tourists also face potentially serious health risks on the golden beaches of Ipanema and Copacabana
minding your pissing quiz
giving away argentstreamer dot com, the online streaming site for old people who just won't fucking die decades after they retired
licking your s's n s's
minding your p's and q's
the death of Brooke Greenberg
trying to unfriend a Regret Index user
sacrificing goats on a golf course in New Jersey,
putting goats on a golf course in New Jersey,
my eyes never saw a rocket that was quite that size
baking her loaf one until she had a breadgasm
baking her left one until she had a breadgasm
Mercedes Pulled a Self Driving Car Ad Because It's Not Actually a Self Driving Car
trying to bottom for a Regret Index user
trying to beef rend a Regret Index user
trying to incriminate a Regret Index user in the Philippines
trying to inseminate a Regret Index amusement
trying to befriend a Regret Index abuser
playing Slaps and Showers with Jerry Sandusky
playing Prisons and Showers with Otm Shank
Playing Cornholes and Monsters with Willie Mays
Enorches
playing Skullbuggery with David Calderisi, eh
playing Mazes and Monsters with Tom Hanks
The American Association of Suicidology, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Health and Welfare Canada all concluded that there is no causal link between fantasy gaming and suicide
Eight year old boy questioned after teachers mistake t shirt slogan for RA propaganda
I don't like losers, I like people who maintain their feeble grasp on the illusion of sanity even after witnessing the eldritch horror of ineffable beings from beyond the cosmos
I've made a lot of sacrifices, you wouldn't believe the elder things I've made pacts with
Eight year old boy questioned after teachers mistake t shirt slogan for Isis propaganda
I guess they were constantly asked if they have soul food after the menus were already designed
#BlackSoulsMatter
Khizr Khan Colon Trump has a 'black soul'
wanting to remake Face Slash Off with Matt Damon and Ken Jeong
Robespierre Boinki Bartokomous
Abdullah The Butcher House of Ribs and Chinese Food
trying to read about Perfect Strangers but just being bored as shit with it the moment you get into episode descriptions
trying to read about Stranger Things but just being bored as shit with it the moment you get into episode descriptions
wondering whether the kids who are, say, thirty or forty years old now will eventually grow the fuck up
lO Things I Hate About Spies
when your snapes don't match your dumbledore
wondering whether the kids who are, say, three or four years old now will eventually be in the hall
when your rapes don't match your trap dec
when your drapes don't match your carpet
when your earnings don't match your yearnings
feeling
dreaming
wishing
having matching arses on your clothing
being a total spaz
when they meet at La Feria, they embrace, but also punch one another slowly and repeatedly in the belly
trying to rear window a Regret Index user
trying to rear end a Regret Index user
trying to upend a Regret Index user
bottoming for Ream Twockit in Poke 'Em 'n Go
The suspects have been identified as an effeminate man with purple hair and a woman with a tiny skirt and exposed midriff, each with Rs on their clothing and accompanied by a talking cat
Three teenagers playing the hit game Pokemon GO have been robbed at gunpoint in a north London park and forced to hand over their mobile phones, British police said on Saturday
Bikini clad Swedish chef makes meal while sunbathing
Bikini clad Swedish cop makes arrest while sunbathing
stealing that innocent girl's Mars Bar from the remote cottage
a group of dissolute rock stars lured an innocent girl to a remote cottage where, having plied her with drugs, they had their way with her, including various sex acts involving a Mars Bar
I want to fuck you like a Milky Way
I wanna fuck a dragonfly
Grab, shake, bite, gouge, puncture, split, punch colon It's enough to put anyone off sex
it's gotta be dogs simply because they are a fuckable animal that are readily available to pretty much anyone, though I believe it may have been horses at some point in history
wondering what nonhuman animal humans most frequently have sex with
pitching an A Team robot featuring Usain Bolt as Hannibal, Liam Hemsworth as Face, Terry Gene Bollea as Mr T, and an ancient filter feeding lobster as "Howling Mad" Murdoch all getting hand jobs
anomalocaridid trunk limb homology revealed by a giant filter feeder with paired flaps colon the movie
pitching an A Team reboot featuring Usain Bolt as Hannibal, Liam Hemsworth as Face, Terry Gene Bollea as Mr T, and an ancient filter feeding lobster as "Howling Mad" Murdoch
athlete Usain Bolt, actor Liam Hemsworth and former wrestler Hulk Hogan
The ancient lobster as tall as Usain Bolt
helping Jack Reacher give a reacharound to a walrus
Ancient Lobster Walk
helping Kento jack in a walrus
Ancient Lobster Shaved, Possibly Kissed by Animal Rights Activists
Ancient Lobster Saved, Possibly Killed by Animal Rights Activists
helping kento jack off a walrus
helping your uncle jack put on a walrus show, with a manatee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season
helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
Infamous Unoriginal Ray's
Polemon, the monsters with very strong views
Pokemon One AND the Other
spoofing Jewel's IP mac address
spooning Jewel's headlights & tailpipe
his interest in the Playboy Mansion is very pure
She appeared in the variety production "Headlights and Tailpipes" in Las Vegas at the Stardust Resort & Casino
thinking VTwo Schneider is better without lyrics
helping your uncle jack put on a donkey show, with a matinee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season
helping your uncle jack off a horse
regrets about high horse blowing
going down on your high horse
cumming on your high horse
Pokemon, Drugging and Sexually Abusing a Horse
Pokemon Drugging and Sexually Abusing a Horse
reading Hoarding Panties in Afghanistan in Afghanistan
drugging and sexually abusing a horse
Dallas cop killer hoarded grenade, pills, panties in Afghanistan
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like streetwise Hercules
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like Leo DiCaprio
tag hakbatza
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon
His whole deal was they can never prove anything about you and me unless you say something
wondering how a Markov chain became a businessman, let alone a political candidate
General George Patton, who was rough as hell, he wouldn't be doing e mails when he's going to be ready to attack
Kento's busty caddy's cleavage like in that one porno I saw
Kento's water hazard
Kento's bunker
naming a part of your body a golf ball could get stuck in
Look at all Hillary Clinton's great balloons!
jefferson slaveship
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Latiah kisses that ass in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet
that time the Ghostbusters gave the statue of Liberty an enema
It is impossible to expel evil from the world in its entirety, but it is possible to constrict it within each person
wishing that all the US presidential candidates from every party, along with all of their respective campaign staff and most ardent supporters, would gather inside a large building which would be set ablaze, causing everyone inside to burn to death
Charles Martinet looking like a sandblasted Boris Johnson
pitching an original sitcom in which Charles Martinet and Scott Baio play a prominently married couple who make a living playing traditional Mexican music, Mariochachi Band
wondering when it was that you subscribed to the jailbait girl who dances to Korean pop songs on youtube
in the navy cum and join Harvey Cream
in the navy come and join your fellow man
US Navy to Name Ship After Gay Icon Harvey Milk
She'll say anything, and change nothing
It will be easier than ever to get your dick's burger fix
Dick's drive in
socially grooming an eight year old chimp
It will be easier than ever to get your Dick's burger fix
Stephanie from LazyTown Arrested for Prostitution
drawing a picture of Kento being remorselessly trolled by the kid from Lazytown
In fact, this sign at the church door says everybody is welcome
the kid from Lazytown is a quarter of a century old
being pretty sure that educated populations which have representative democratic models don't also have referenda
Wherever we see an educated population that has a relatively free press, relatively high levels of governmental transparency, and that has put it up for a referendum, in every one of those cases we have seen the Olympics be rejected
wondering if you've ever, ever felt like this
Eiffel Towering Chachi
pegging Chachi
shoenice
shitting on it
sitting on it
Donnie Loves Chachi
loving Chachi
history is written by the survivors, not the victors
Dungeon Boss Luncheon with Donald Trump
NPC Luncheon with Donald Trump
during the campaign, you know he told a lot of lies to the British people, and now it is him who has his back against the wall
I want my baby dick baby dick baby dick Trump
claiming that the site purposefully made Trump's AMA less visible to users of the site and allowed the now infamous "baby dick" Trump drawing to become one of the most popular posts on the site during the AMA
two legit two leak
If you are a legitimate leaker, why go with WikiLeaks
Jewchel
the death of Jerry Doyle
Bonedge
Yamal anthrax outbreak may come from melting tundra
Walro
Kentopher Lykeda
Gonto
Tuvix
drawing a picture of Donald Trump being savaged from every direction at a party Wednesday night
OJ Simpson's Minimum Fitness For Men
Democrats Savage Donald Trump From Every Direction Wednesday Night
Permanently Infusing Paintings with Electrical Harming Energy
Permanently Infusing Paintings with Reiki Healing Energy
MARK NUTT
His director of communications is also the Belize trade representative in London
I've heard rumours that it started off as a drug raid and I believe that the chap in there has got a gun and he was saying, 'I'm a free man of the land'
that when the Sultan of Brunei offered you a job you told him you didn't need his piti dollars
not that bells and indigestion are the same
Marina's breasts, who have been reported to be called Larry, Curly, and Moe
Marina's mother, who has been reported to be called Lwaxana
Marina's father, who has been reported to be called James
growing your own tomatillos being such a thankless chore
Areolas
Marina's mother, who has been reported to be called Cheryl
Ariels
the death of Marina Joyce
Ursulas
Gunthers
World's deepest blue hole found in South China Sea
Taco Bell replacing the delicious salsa verde packets with "Diablo" sauce which is basically indistinguishable from the existing Fire sauce
Gushers
MelaniaRump dot com now redirects to a porn page for husband Donald Trump's golf resorts and rental properties
MelaniaTrump dot com now redirects to a home page for husband Donald Trump's golf resorts and rental properties
Bat Arrested After Throwing Manarang at Police Car
Man Arrested After Throwing Batarang at Police Car
wondering why ketchup and mustard don't come in your mouth
wondering why ketchup and mustard don't come premixed
having a tent in the middle of your bedclothes
having a tent in the middle of your workshop
Praising dictators was an automatic F in my class
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to fuck them like an animal, maybe an ocelot or capybarya
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to disinter their corspe and violate the eyholes of their skull
shooting Adam Ant in your panties last night
disinterring Bob Ross's corspe and shitting in the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated happy little trees
tweeting to a singer that you want to take a shit in her scanties
tweeting to a podcaster that you want to take a shit in their panties
tweeting to a podcaster that you want to take a shit in their pansies
becoming Biggs Darklighter
turning off the light of the lit room you came from into the unlit room you're standing in by flicking the switch on the opposite side of the wall from the lightswitch for the room you're in and becoming confused as to why dark happen now
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to take a shit in their skull
living your life like a candle in the wind
quivering like a candle on fire
Pound The Rod Johnson Pounds About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson Pounds About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
so this is how liberty dies, really shitting the bed
the tale of Darth Trump
I will make our Military so big, powerful and strong that no one will mess with us, except Vietnam and Iraq, and I guess Afghanistan and Cuba and maybe Haiti, I'm not really sure about that one
Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Dwayne 'The Cod' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Rock Per Year
groping icons' quads
Dwayne 'The Rape' Johnson Rocks About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Rapes About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
now THIS is codraping!
raping Qui Gon's cods
racing Qui Gon's pods
not hooking up with Qui Gon
thinking that if Anakin ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just droids, Qui Gon would hand over our YIPPEE! addresses in a heartbeat
finding the idea of a Pro Donald Trump intriguing but ultimately unbelievable
Owner Behind Pro Donald Trump 'USA Freedom Dogs' Plans to Sue Campaign
Dad Behind Pro Donald Trump 'USA Freedom Kids' Plans to Sue Campaign
you could fist yourself with them and it would be like someone else was fisting you
it's hard to fist
wondering what someone would do if they had both of their hands removed
The Fist American With a Double Hand Implant Wants Them Removed
smashing off a duck's back
smashing mouth too close to the sun
he who smashes hardest smashes last
roving ghoul
rolling Steve Harwell before smashing breadrolls into his mouth
rough loving
kind of loving Gene Fuckmen, that magnificent bastard
Richard Donger just obsessed over whether he was cut
Gene Fuckmen said that he'd never worked with a more focused performer
he smashed too hard
that must have been before his accident
bottoming for Christopher Ream in Smashing Man Colon The Quest for a Piece of Ass VII
Superman IV Colon The Quest For Peace Colon Redux
#TKFourTwenty
Biggs Danklighter
Hans Yolo
The First American With a Double Hand Transplant Wants Them Removed
Ric's Canada Puck, eh
Dick Saucepan Char
Arachnid Cupcakes
Aparecida Schunck
it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him
Podcaster gets Eiffel Towered in Las Vegas by Pokemon KENTO player he tried to Eiffel Tower
Gunman gets shot in Las Vegas by Pokemon GO player he tried to rob
Miss Miller not letting that guy go
they aren't booing, they're saying "fist ernie"
you're so old fashioned
I'll start doing my penis braiding exercises to get warmed up
on the plus side, we'd probably meet
thinking that if Kento ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just himself, Ryan would hand over our IP addresses in a heartbeat
I want to get rid of the disabled from this world
spooging Jude's boobs
they aren't booing, they're saying "Boo ernie!"
drawing a picture of Ash, Brock, Misty and Prince Harry singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"
Sky Penis and the Pokemon of Tomorrow
wondering what irreparable damage all of these poachers will have on the Pokemon ecosystem spooging Jewel's boobs
wondering what irreparable damage all of these poachers will have on the Pokemon ecosystem
spooging Jewel's boobs
I downloaded it and immediately realised there is money to be made
wondering which you would choose, cupping David Cameron Diaz' ball or spooning David Cameron Diaz' boob
that there exist nine conditions which should be followed by humans who seek to experience coincidence in their own lives
I don't know why that's so funny
Rachel Penis
obviously I'm not going to want to look at Jude Law in any kind of scenario, so the answer is "from behind"
wondering which you would choose, to bang Rachel Stevens with Jude Law's penis or Jude Law with Rachel Stevens's vagina
wondering which you would choose, to bang Rachel Stevens with a penis or Jude Law with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to eat a straight woman with your penis or a gay man with your vagina
wondering which you would choose, to eat a straight woman with a penis or a gay man with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to be a straight woman with a penis or a gay man with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to be a lesbian with a penis or a straight man with a vagina
a serving military officer who called a fellow officer by a racist epithet routinely and without contrition spoke of his need to impress upon other people that he is better than little people and his feelings are far more important than theirs
a man who once dressed up as a Nazi because Nazis are apparently funny spoke of his regret about how the presence of his father did not impress upon him that dressing up like a Nazi is almost certainly always a bad idea
a man who wants for nothing but attention has spoken of his need for attention and how it doesn't fill the void left by a traumatic but ultimately inevitable event suffered by literally everybody at some point in their lives
Prince Harry has spoken of his regret that he did not talk about how his favourite childhood game, Pocket Monsters Colon Blue, affected him until three years ago
Prince Harry has spoken of his regret that he did not talk about how the death of his mother, Princess Diana, affected him until three years ago
Fist Captain and the Emergency Room of Tomorrow
uninstalling the installshield engine
Pie Captain and the Fatworld of Tomorrow
Robin Williams is Ms Downdraft
watching Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit
Sky Captain Meets World
Why Downdraft Took Ms Cool Rape Train
Sky Captain and the World of Leather
Pokemon Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
boldly reaching where no man has reached before
hoping it's not "fist or be fisted by a Star Trek cast member"
Go's busters
drinking from the Gaywood River
taman shud, crikey
tribalist symbol for establishment climbers
everything is a clusterfuck
Clinton campaign manager Colon Russians leaked Democrats' emails to help Donald Trump
you can a check out anytime a you like, but can a never leave
such a lovely a place
closing the doors of the Hotel Mario a
The purpose of closing the doors to progress is not explained
grundiert fur Jude Skeeter in Das Gesetz ist ein Esel Sieben
memorizing every STD episode
Hilbert's infinite rape hotel
neutral rape hotel
Kareem Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi Jabbar
Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a LAW rape pair in Alabama with his pal Jude
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a chaos rape pair in Alabama with his pal Skeeter
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a car repair shop in Alabama with his pal Skeeter
Fifty Shades of Takei
oh my
Star Trek Colon Discovery
abusing a poop fart ass
tricking a pop tart into using another pop tart as a
using a poop fart ass
us
using
using a
using a pop
using a pop tart
using a pop tart as
using a pop tart as a
goodnight room, goodnight moon, goodnight personal enemy of Mr Hamill I lured to your doom
Lick Jobs From Another Room
love to, send me ur room #
yo dawg we put two envelopes in your envelope you so can lick while you lick
two envelopes inside another envelope
from CERN's heart, I accelerate particles at thee
no one who speaks German could be an evil man
"Donald Trump is going to build that fucking wall and kick all of you mother fuckers out of here," said Parker, who was born in Germany
Dark matter is to scientists what Moby Dick is to Captain Ahab
Donald Trump is going to build that fucking wall and kick all of you mother fuckers out of here
Humans And Wild Birds Strike A Deal To Hunt For Honey And Wax, Denounce Israel
After being ordered to drop the weapon, King tossed the gun on the trunk of a nearby car, "whereupon he again kicked the victim in the face"
Humans And Wild Birds Strike A Deal To Hunt For Honey And Wax
A video purporting to show a UFO over Turkey actually shows a rocket launch in Florida
no one who speaks German could be an evil man
The man who appears to be a shooter said insulting things about Turks, did not espouse jihadist ideology and spoke with a German accent
becoming a Playboy Northern Baptist, eh
becoming a Playboy Southern Baptist
at night, the people cum in Go
at night, the people Kento and Go
Peeps are marshmallow candies, sold in the United States and Canada, that are shaped into chicks, bunnies, and Southern Baptists
at night, the people come and go
My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist
we're looking for nothing, missing every sunrise
I wish I could be a child, write me another dance, another chance, another romance
you fly me
I could wrap you up in cotton wool
where do you get off having tits
High Heel Jurassic
all balls itch, it's a fact
The Simpsons Colon Just Pop It Back In
Is Donald Trump a Messiah
The Simpsons Colon Tapped Out
swollen rape snow
new personal lows
staying up all night comparing yourself directly to god
I guess the age old question about whether god could create a boulder so heavy that he could not then move it has been answered with 'yes, if god is anything like me'
dooks
I guess the age old question about whether god could create a boulder so heavy that he could not then move it has
trying to imagine how awful a film project would have to be to feature a bedroom scene with yourself and Louise Redknapp in which you were both naked under the covers for the sake of the script
last night I dreamt that I was naked in bed with Louise Redknapp and when I touched her she freaked out because it was a terrible misunderstanding, and then her husband was like right there, so I don't know, maybe you can tell me
is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and deep love
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and mad love
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and true love
I had literally never heard of that movie before but I just knew somehow that Jude Law was in it
Music From Another Room is a romantic comedy that follows the exploits of Danny, a young man who grew up believing he was destined to marry the girl he helped deliver as a five year old boy when his mother's best friend went into emergency labor
I want to lay like this forever until the sky falls down on me
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to stand with you on a mountain
wondering how long it will be until there's meetgraham porn
fifteen there's still time for you
whistle is Latin for fat gay asian
miles is Latin for soldier
Fat Gay Asian Spice
you can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
accidentally buying really big anal bees
trekking back
trekking within
trekking beyond
the Roofie State
the Sunshine Rape State
I only came for two days of rapin, but everytime I cum I always wind up stayin, this the type of town I could spend a few days in, Miami the city that keeps the roof blazin
Miami dolphins anally rape the physicist
Miami Dolphins deny lockerroom at Sun Life Stadium is known to players as 'The Rape Cave'
Miami dolphins rape the physical analyst
Miami Dolphins shoot the physical rapist
Miami Dolphins shoot physical therapist
Miami police shoot black analyst
nobody gets the girl, there is no girl
a re imagined Cyrano de Bergerac with an educationally subnormal presidential candidate being fed interview replies by a self medicating depressive alcoholic through an earpiece
Cyber is absolutely a thing of the future and the present
using Midge Ure's singing as a midge lure
dyslexia jokes
Miami police shoot black therapist
Pride and Prejudice and Jumblies
yo momma is so fat her gut bacteria predates appearance of humans, genetic study finds
I don't think you're ready for this humble, my humble brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like "it's humbler than yours"
I am, like, the humblest guy in the world, nobody comes close to how humble I am
Fritz Learns To Catch Cumpilation
Fritz Learns To Catch Compilation
meetgraham dot com dot au
I think I'm much more humble than you would understand
Maybe you would have had a unified Korea
sta 'nfronte a te!
o long johnson
soiling your undergarments and kindly gifting them to an eccentricity scene
knowing enough of the history of various competing lines of kings within your own country and its constituent parts to say with certainty that shitting your pants and leaving them behind at a crime scene is merely an eccentricity for those of noble birth
Wesley Crusher, Cunt Destroyer
wondering, if that is indeed the case, what his noble ancestors would feel to now their descendant shat his pants then left them behind at a crime scene
not knowing the history of the surname King well enough to discern whether or not it shows descent from an actual King from some day of yore
Wesley President, Federation President
Wesley President
taking PCP and your dick falling off
playing deoxyribonucleic acid with Wesley King
stealing that guy's unwashed underpants from the communal crime scene
DNA evidence taken from the pants' waistband indicated Mr King had worn them before, but the forensic scientist admitted another set of DNA found on the pants made it possible someone else could have worn the unwashed pants more recently
I found the cafe ransacked, the till missing, and diarrhoea smeared across papers on the floor, next to a pair of heavily stained underpants with Wesley King's name sewn into the waistband
butt suicide is painless
Inuit throat singing sisters from Canada, eh
Gwyneth Paltrow's screaming vagina
Gwyneth Paltrow's steaming vagina
my heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not
Chris had a strong fist and fisted Kento beautifully
Chris had a strong hand and fingered Kento beautifully
Chris had a strong hand and handled Macaulay beautifully
Joe and I knew each other already because we'd both been in "I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can," which we were both cut out of
You'll notice Joe even invented his own cartoon language that he spews when he gets really frustrated
chemo porn is the last bastion of small business
Google Translate not working on chemo porn, eh
Google Translate not working on Chrome phone
Crown Prince Emperor El Bey Bigbay Bagby Badger
nil PESCI enema
nil stern enema
internal semen
Lydon beat him with a walrus's pizzle
Mr Ikeda responded "I don't fucking care"
a spokesperson for Nintendo later pointed out that Walrein is not one of the Pokemon featured in Pokemon Go
local Pokemon Go player Kento Ikeda told WCVB he had found a Walrein in his own bathroom after planting a Pokemon lure and "could not be happier"
Physical features of the Walrooth include an pinnipedoid blubber layer and tusks, and the ability to survive by drinking their own internal semen
Ass Cancer is No Laughing Matter
Acton beat him with a bull's pizzle
No One Will Talk About Anal Cancer
Physical features of the Malmooth include an insectoid exoskeleton and mandibles, and the ability to survive by drinking their own internal milk
The unfit died of freedom
drawing a picture of Chris Pine spooning Rich Penis
wondering if Chris Pine knows his name is an anagram of Rich Penis
tricking a straight guy into spooning another straight guy's boobs
ricking a straight guy into rolling another straight guy
tricking a straight guy into banging Jewel
your father giving your nose a tweak and telling you you was bad when you wake up, in my makeup
your father giving your nose a tweak and telling you you was bad
when I wake up, in my makeup
I'd still put it above some Trump quotes
that might be the worst regret I've ever written
The Adventures of Rape Baby Dries Up
Pilkey authored the Dumb Bunnies books under the pseudonym Sue Denim
The Adventures of Ook and Gluk Colon Kung Fu Cavemen from the Future
The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby
Dav Pilkey, author of the children's book series Captain Underpants, had wanted Farley to play the title role in a potential television series based on the books, but discarded the idea after Farley's death
that Chris Farley died before having a chance to do a Chris Christie impression
that, with all due respect to the New Jersey governor, there are few people I would less like to have take a shit on me
not understanding why comments seem to occasionally bump regrets to the top of the recent comments list
really wanting to hear Miss Piggy say "Mike Pence" as part of a skit more and more with each passing day
Ukip Councillor Terence Nathan Calls For Remainers To Be Kissed
drawing a picture of Mike Pence peeing on Donald Trump's scalp while Chris Christie takes a dump on his chest
Ukip Councillor Terence Nathan Calls For Remainers To Be Killed
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Rape Hot FULLY FUNCTIONAL Machines'
when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dugs up your butt, poodoo
that even in a galaxy of trillions of humans, Jango Fett was basically taking a huge risk that he might one day end up becoming an urban legend with one of his own grandchildren
you keep saying that but it never seems to happen
when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt
one of the twentieth century's most enduring anthems
Homer Sexual
Watch Kim Kardashian take the stage to 'I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt'
Angel Zapper
Watch Freddie Mercury take the stage to 'I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt'
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Rape Hot Machines'
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Are The Champions'
That's what I get for playing this dumbass game
the google image search for "Chris Lydon" being a hilarious mix of scrawny, old bearded men and busty busty female bodybuilders
The pledge to hold a referendum helped win you an unexpected majority, eh
Garry Marshall's dug Sebulba Marshall has died
Garry Marshall's dog Carrie Marshall has died
Jaglom Shrek
Britain's new Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, said he's made so many controversial comments about world leaders that it is not worth the time it would take to apologize for all of them
When a woman gives a man a blowjob, and just before climax, she walks away
your red dress is very pretty
still only seeing black, white, and blue
that seeing color on a site that had previously just been black, white, and blue is weird, like in Schindler's List
wondering whether Rick Astley was a reprogrammed Terminator, and who he was protecting
he will never, ever give up, and most importantly, he will never, ever let you down
that if you're not already selling a range of "orange is the new blackface" tshirts you really should be, because after nuclear war breaks out next year people won't really want to send away for possibly irradiated clothing when they could just scavenge
Exclusive Colon Trump could seek new law to purge government of Obama gym leaders
playing Pokemon Go over the Republican National Convention coverage
Exclusive Colon Trump could seek new law to purge government of Obama appointees
the person you support said, he could take a gun out on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone in the head, and you would still support him
any smooth bottom intersted into top muscle pm me
Thailand model 'is possessed by cannibal GHOST during live TV interview'
playing Entry of the Gladiators with Tim Duncan, if you know what I mean
playing Entry of the Gladiators with Tim Duncan
playing Entry of the Gladiators over the Republican National Convention coverage
A young woman, wearing a dress covered in stars and stripes, kneels surrounded by five Donald Trumps
Internet Abuzz Over Photo of Mike Pence's 'Rapist' Daughter
using the screen name "straight guy plus straight guy equals hot"
Internet Abuzz Over Photo of Mike Pence's 'Vampire' Daughter
asking about which "subgroup" had contributed more to advancements in civilization than white people
Asked what he would call it, he answered, "The Aristocrats"
Asked what he would call it, he answered, "The Sociopath"
the permanent sound of civilization, and its noisier discontents
tell me your skype
prove it
I have the best weiner rod right now
He also made himself a bamboo whip for sex from a tree in his parents' garden, Southwark Crown Court heard today
McCarthy allegedly raped a second woman three years later after while telling her 'it's not about you'
Luke McCarthy, XXVIII, is said to have made a woman drink his blood before sinking his teeth into her thigh
I have the weirdest boner right now
Nute Gunray demands Queen Elizabeth's signature to make invasion legal
David Davis has secretly discovered new planets we can trade with
Unless David Davis has secretly discovered new planets we can trade with, there's no way his figure could actually be reached
it's not clear
wondering if a vampire rapist is a vampire who rapes or someone who rapes vampires
Vampire rapist made a bamboo whip for sex from a tree in his parents' garden
parsing the equals sign as a colon and becoming confused
Steinhegvanhuysenolegbangbangbang
Cosmo Setepenra
never understanding the appeal of Veiled Sin
while the weight of a young adolescent female bonobo "is maybe half" that of a human teenager, she has a clitoris that is "three times bigger than the human equivalent, and visible enough to waggle unmistakably as she walks"
mirror in the bathroom, recompense for all my crimes of self defence
maybe if we just give them Bono's head they'll leave the rest of us alone
maybe if we just give them Bono they'll leave the rest of us alone
This is the second time Bono has been caught up in a terror attack in France
terrorism knows no depths to its depravity
Diners tell of being stuck in Nice restaurant with Bono during Bastille Day attack
Butts County library programs use butts as touching tools
Gordon Respess of Dauset Trails Nature Center, left, holds a rat snake that Nakisha Woolery gingerly touches as Summer Reading Club members look on
Butts County library programs use animals as teaching tools
Two teenagers out playing Pokemon Go early Saturday morning were shot at by a man who allegedly thought the teens posed a threat, said the Flagler County Sheriff's Office
Danny Glover, I hardly know 'er!
singing Dream Lover while daring Danny Glover to deglove beagles for their fur because your dad says you ain't right and you don't want to deglove alone
never understanding the appeal of Vin Diesel
NEURALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX COLON STATE OF THE UNION Games Built In
tattoos about pony blowing
this freakin horse
this freakin dog
seeing Sonic the Hedgehog running on an original Sega Mega Drive displaying through a period accurate tv and wanting to vomit despite having no problems with it when it released or any history of motion sickness
NEURALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX Games Built In
NOSTALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX Games Built In
tricking a freakin guy into dating another freakin guy
cecil Thornburg
making hay while the sun shines
this freakin guy
dogging is out of control in Hungry Horse
A woman on Alpine Court complained that the neighbor's dogs use her yard as a glory hole toilet
A dog known locally for its bad dog deeds was loose on Western Lane
A bat that looked to be approximately four inches long was doing weird things on the back deck of a home on Witty Lane in Columbia Falls
A self professed ex convict reported that the teenaged girl he smacked yesterday came back and busted out his windshield
A woman on Alpine Court complained that the neighbor's dogs use her yard as a glorified toilet
The Matrix Fully Loaded Poutine
fully loaded poutine, nature's most filmed creature
outrageous, simply outrageous
fully loaded poutine
nature's most filmed creature
meat rape lad lab
Raped a Meatball
Meatball Parade
It's World Emoji Day! Teen girls, code an emoji that's unique like you
nobody loves oily Homer
hearing that Jewel goes dogging in the parking lot of the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, Sundays around eight
maintaining your auteur status because you want to dog in the Oscars
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not goddamn deliberately pony blowing
wookie cookies
A Cookie Palace organizer stated "many women at the event weighed eight hundred pounds"
Star Trek Pussy Of Gods and Men
organizing a cookie palace
My Little Pussy Colon Friendship is Magic
all pussies are magic, but some pussies are more magic than others
organizing a pussy party
organizing a pussy proletariat
organizing a pussy riot
organizing a pussy palace, if you know what I mean
organizing a pussy palace
Star Trek Colon Of Gods and Men
A Pussy Palace organizer stated "many women at the event were deeply angered and traumatized"
I'm fairly certain there is a PIKACHU at this open house, don't miss it
damn, I've been maintaining my amateur status because I want to dog in the Olympics
you've got to be at least a semi pro dogger
wondering if the Nickelodeon Sports Dogging slime awards are given based on some requisite criteria, or if they just give them to anyone who gets the requisite seventeen votes
Athletes and celebrities get chosen for the Nickelodeon Sports Dogging slime awards
eggs niewoehner
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not a dumbass manchild
An Indian man who took one of the world's most expensive shits made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said
he's got all the money in the world but there's one thing he can't buy
begged incest
eggs benedict
Janine, sorry about the Kento jokes, I'll be in my office
me mom's in a Goma
you mom's a Kento joke
you're a Kento joke
that's a Kento joke
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been on a gilt trip
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said, kemosabe
I pity the fool
wondering what percentage of people named Richard under the age of, say, forty go buy dick
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said
wondering what percentage of people named Richard under the age of, say, forty go by "Dick"
Anakin Skywalker's Faustian story is, in a way, Lucas's own
It is widely believed that Paulie used the robot as some sort of electronic sex doll
Athletes and celebrities get dogged for the Nickelodeon Slime's Choice Sports awards
Athletes and celebrities get slimed for the Nickelodeon Dogs' Choice Sports awards
Pitbull says bark bark woof grrrrr ruff
Athletes and celebrities get slimed for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports awards
Pitbull says he is not supporting Trump
being an independent country that don't need The Man
Turkish Intelligence says #Turkey Coop is over and Turkey has been retaken
insulting Turkish Intelligence
Turkish Intelligence says #Turkey Coup is over and Turkey has been retaken
Trump Pence Middleton Geldof
Null Island
Myke Pynce
Mike Pence sounding like something Miss Piggy would say for a laugh
I prefer them over easy
South Korean Villagers Pelt Premier With Eggs Over Missile Site
When you turn the Trump Pence logo upside down, it literally looks like a handjob
needing TP for America's bunghole
The Asylum Presents Shitweasels
Scifresh
BLOODS pink ladies
cripps pink ladies
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice Meaty Waffle Peppers
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice, if you know what I mean
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice
Meaty Waffle Peppers
the death of Ray Combs
Beaver is killed by a shit weasel
Mbey Brian Waffles
Meaty Brian Waffles
Oscar analrapist cat
starchy rape taco
Oscar therapy cat
a return to lights to the walls, keep the balls on horror
a traveling group of psychic vampires called The Kento Rut
a traveling group of psychic vampires called The True Knot
Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer Colon A Time Travel Romance
Books about Cruz being the Zodiac Killer, including romantic ones, were listed on Amazon
it's not fair to make an animal that can't purse its lips try to whistle
A Police Force in Britain Has Just Made Wolf Whistling a Hate Crime
tricking a straight guy into banging Sylvia Browne
wondering whether the kids who are, say, meeting Brian Peppers now will eventually blow a pony or if they will bang Jewel
regrets about drug mule blowing
I'm really sorry about that one
banging all the three or four year olds in the bathroom at church in order
killing the California dumbass manchildren
banging all the elements of the periodic table in Jewel
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not into dating another straight guy
learning all the elements in the origin of the champagne out of the deliberately disabled bathroom at church
banging the champagne out of Jewel's shoes
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not three or four years old
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship for eternit
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in the actress
Rihanna asked to leave after pulling truck out of her nice vagina
Rihanna asked to leave Nice after pulling truck out of her vagina
Rihanna Is ''Safe,'' Concert Cancelled Following Truck Attack in Nice
Blotto games
Vice President Housekeeping
he probably did, they wanted him to pay US tax as a condition of retaining his citizenship
assuming Hogan turns down the offer, of course
finding lots of articles about Boris Johnson "intending" to give up his US citizenship but not finding any confirmation that he actually did, and thinking that if he didn't he could form a great ticket with Trump
eating all the elements in the periodic table in order
French Officials Colon Fire at Eiffel Tower 'Accidental'
Chuckle Brothers Play Real Life Hitman
in light of the horrible attack in Nice, France, I have postponed tomorrow's news conference concerning my vice presidential announcement while I think of something worse than losers to call the French
reading the comments on three eight one five as though they were an actual conversation
we're pretty terrible people
especially because of the things we write
honestly being both surprised and grateful that Ryan takes the time to maintain a site that gets an average of like two point one unique visitors per day
yeah, he did
being pretty sure that Ryan deleted all those fake spam links you made for a joke about Hayden Christensen, but being too lazy to check
#portesouvertesnice
Hahahahahahaha, this politics related YouTube video is actually so comic, I liked it
buying multiple copies of the book "Romeo and Slash or Juliet" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
that i deleted all the spam comments, hah hah hah OH WELL
hello, I'm here, I'm living in the wall
HOLEZONE
Driver collides with tree while playing Pokemon Go
Mr Trump advised men to do more chores around the house because psychological research showed they would get more sex from their wives
She's got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital
wondering what your favourite meme is
dat boi
du FUCK
du
le massacre de Swan Marsh
the Marais des Cygnes massacre
I had completely forgotten about Boston & Shaun, thanks for reminding me of that unearthly horror
tweeting the theme from M#A#S#H# like six hours ago
His nickname comes from an incident in which he was caught having sex with a dragon in the lavatory aboard a Boston & Shaun Railway train who claimed in her defense that "he inflated me!"
Raper John, MD
His nickname comes from an incident in which he was caught having sex with a woman in the lavatory aboard a Boston & Maine Railway train who claimed in her defense that "he trapped me!"
regrets about pony miscegenation
Peppa Meets Oasis
Peppa Meets KISS
Peppa Meets Queen
now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'm going to Eiffel Tower Kento with a walrus in Bel Air
all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others
Peppa Meats the Queen
it's the whole Goofy Pluto nightmare all over again
that the characters in Peppa Pig have pets
Peppa Meets the Queen
pig willy style
that on further research, one of the bulldog characters has an adopted bear sister from China, so I guess multispecies families are okay if it is by adoption
wondering whether Peppa Pig's feelings of ponosexuality stem from having seen a pig willy and being totally disgusted
arthur backstreet boys
guessing that Peppa Pig just has Pedro Pony put it in her butt to avoid getting pregnant with some kind of equuporcine abomination
Arthur Art Garfunkel
Hoprah Linseed
The hospital's Medical Director, Dr Malone Lee pointed out that she had been seen, but that she had "a particular reservation about some of the nurses" and refused to let them attend to her
googling "Matt Damon Arthur"
Peppa Pig appears to be pretty segregated on racial lines
it seriously bugged me as a kid that all of Arthur's family were aardvarks but he wanted to fuck a monkey
wondering how these worlds that contain large numbers of anthropomorphic animals of various species work, like is it legal for a pig to marry a pony in the world of Peppa Pig, and if so, do they produce some kind of godless hybrid offspring
It is up to you to keep your lime our of my coconut
It is up to you to keep your peppas out of my pig
It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig
Category colon Body parts of individual people
we should put ours on there
It's a surprisingly short list
Category colon Individual human heads, skulls and brains
holding the lime
art for art's sake
Category colon Ash dick infection
Category colon Ash click infection
Pokemon The Cock and the Jewel
The Cock and the Jewel
Category colon Fictional chickens
having an actor in a hideous, terrifying mask jam his fingers down your throat can't be any worse than having sex with Harrison Ford
Malaysian Malaysia
Calista Flockhart is reported to be interested
pitching a "Purger Queen" ad to Burger King in which she invites the Burger King to stick his fingers down her throat to induce vomiting, because it can't be any worse than their existing campaigns
eating Jewel's burger
pitching a "Burger Queen" ad to Burger King in which she invites the Burger King to eat her burger, because it can't be any worse than their existing campaigns
what did I literally just ask for you to remember
following up an evening of large hardon colliding with large anus busting
I don't want this, remember that
I think I'm starting to lose what grip I had, think I'm starting to slide
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and "stop complaining about the food"
giving a foot job to Stephen President on request
giving a blow job to Stephen Fry on request
giving a hand job to Stephen King on request
Tuscan raiders
Amazonian Jews
large anus busting makes me feel good
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and enjoy the BK's large anus busters
The Steakhouse Burger Colon The Burger For Selfish, Insane Assholes
The commercials often featured people in a rush to get to Burger King and purchase a Steakhouse Burger, risking the safety of other people and property around them in the process
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and enjoy the BK's large Angus burgers
Burger President
and that's like once every other month at most
that the only American fast food restaurant you go to now is Burger King
that kickass waffle place on the A XI
For Kica
your authority is not recognised in For
that kica
actually realizing earlier that you've probably thought of Arby's and Denny's as the same place for a long, long time, despite knowing they're two different chains, just because you don't see them wherever you go
not understanding the gradation of class in the US casual dining and fast food sectors
giving a hand job to the Smoothie King on request
Smoothie King deposed and executed, Smoothie Republic declared
kidecoin
dogecoin
Arby's is classier
getting a THREE man job from his holiness in the dumpster behind ARBYS
getting a two man job from his holiness in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
it really is a two man job
Pope John Paul II supports Myke Hawke in the Bathroom at Church
Pope John Paul II supports neo facism in Croatia
Myke Hawke in the Bathroom at Church
Myke Hawke in a Blender
Myke Hawke in a Toilet
Myke Hawke in a Thciket
Thciket T Thrawick
Thciket, Jedi Knight
the Ram in a Thciket, if You Know What I Mean
the Ram in a Thicket
that your knowledge of the Michael Jackson songbook is basically limited to the ones that Weird Al parodied, plus the one from Free Willy
wondering how long it would take Roman Polanski to beat off to a dedicated Inexperienced Girls channel
riding on a chrome horse with your diplomat, if you know what I mean
wondering how long it would take YouTube to shut down a dedicated Inexperienced Girls channel
plus all the child abuse stuff
the thing that still bothers you about Michael Jackson being how memorable even a lot of his worst songs were
inexperienced girl, you know that you came and you changed my world, just like on the YouTubes
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to cook engine black eggs for you
they ruin everything
stupid inexperienced girl
Achicharrados en Izucar
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to seek out and collect Pokemon for you
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother Eiffel Towering Kento is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood and three photographs of Kento
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother Eiffel Towering Kento is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood
Dinosaurs May Have Cooed Instead of Roared, Scientists Find
The Falling Bullet Colon Myths, Legends and Terminal Velocity
Heslington Brain
He has this manner with interviewers where he seems to think that he is calmly talking sense to a lunatic, when really he is talking to the machinery in an abattoir
nnnnnn
n
! DO NOT USE for training purposes
Training
Inexperienced girl trying to land Athreetwenty
nothing but power converters and sand as far as the eye can see
If you thought Luke Skywalker's home planet, Tatooine, was a strange world with its two suns in the sky, imagine this colon a planet with either constant daylight or triple sunrises and sunsets each day depending on the seasons
Boobknee Spears
boobknees are the big thing on deviantart now
Kneeboobworld
I'm pretty sure that there's only that makes them fat, there's another one that gives them like six arms, another one that makes them bald, another one that puts their boobs on their knees, etc
the Fatworld Continuum
bullseyeing Whoopi Goldberg in your Tsixteen back home
Death Gopdblum, Jedi Knight, Hogwarts Headmaster
learning that the "We ain't found shit!" desert combing stormtrooper from Spaceballs was Tim Russ
being shocked to see a red link on the Fatworld wiki, because you just sort of assumed that FanTwoThousand had some kind of Q like power to will into existence an obese photoshop of any woman who has ever appeared on TV
given how severe winters are in the North she would be expected to weigh around four hundred for the beginning of winter, yet because of what Sansa has been going through she hasn't been preparing for winter as a good Northern woman should
King Kong ain't got nothing on you
Caryn Elaine Johnson
Fatworld Sophie Turner's five o'clock shadow
wondering whether Roman Polanski's Roman a Polanski is a roman a polanski
roman a polanski
wondering whether Karen Gillan's Conventional is a roman a clef
it's the suspenders
I'm gonna have to go with Misty
Ash, Misty, or Brock, nobody rides for free
Mining Pokemon From the Road
bottoming for Depth Goldbum in Your Ass Is Pert VII
Death Goldblum
Death Gopdblum
If you went back in time and told me that in the near future, one of the most nerd accessible directors would make an all female Ghostbusters reboot and it would become this bizarre hill to die on, I would have laughed it off
they DO move in herds!
Walrus Team Sex
topping for Homosama bin Laden in Seal Team Sex
I'll never forget being shot dead in my fortress like home by SEAL team VI
I certainly remember the time I masterminded the largest terrorist attack on the continental United States
we are all Osama
Mining Platinum From the Road
A one year old boy in Milan who was raised on a strict vegan diet has been removed from his parents custody after he was found to weigh as much as a three month old baby
Zuppa Inglese, cheerio, mamma mia!
Castella
Zuppa Inglese
United Empire Loyalists, I'm Walkin' Here, Cheerio, Eh
United Empire Loyalists
wondering how much late nineties fanfiction involved Ross from F#R#I#E#N#D#S# and Roz from Frasier
drawing a picture of John Cho backing up over Anton Yelchin, if you know what I mean
George Takei Presents on the Bridge
George Takei Presents Colon Chaos on the Bridge
William Shatner Presents Colon Chaos on the Bridge
Armed Robbers Used Pokemon Go App to Target Victims, According to Cops
Kento first became aware of Diablo through his interest in large, muscular men who plunge deeper and deeper down dark pits
Kento first became aware of Diablo through his interest in rogueish dugongs
novus scotio seclorum
Nova Scotia
Feline Society takes Alaskan kids being kept for bleach, meow
Canine Society takes South Korean kids being kept for meat
Humane Society takes South Korean dogs being kept for meat
Wyoming teenager finds aroused Walrein in river while playing Pokemon Kento app
not having a jambiya stuck in you
not having a jambiya based on you
#TetasStrong
Wyoming teenager finds dead body in river while playing Pokemon Go app
our tuba god ass rapes slut
Tautogolabrus adspersus
not having a bouillabaisse on you
cloacal devices
cloaking devices
#heresy
not having a NAMBLA forum based on you
solving the NABLA forearms for X
Nabla
Thousands Strip and Paint Themselves Blue for UK Art Event
getting a cease and desist letter from a webcomic
now remember, your name is Donald Thompson
calling something a joke as a racist even though you know it's not actually a joke
bottoming for Pokemon in Pokemon Go and Kento Colon Gotta Catch 'Em All
hashtag heresy
having rail union poop puns
#TejasStrong
Parishioners lit candles and placed notes with messages on a wooden cross outside the church, One read colon "We are one, #DallasStrong, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands, #LoveIsABattlefield"
hey guys, remember Jaylalabalaya, that's racist
Pokemon Go and Kento
hey guys, remember Jaylalabalaya
that's racist
calling something racist as a joke even though you know it's not actually racist
having no clue who Kento eats out
having no clue who Kento eats
having no clue who Kento is
having unpopular opinions
getting a reply from a webcomic
writing a webcomic
vivisecting the Regret Index
#fedoratalk
dying and being transmigrated to the afterlife only to discover that the religion you followed so devoutly was muted pretty much as soon as it sprang up, and while the divine is aware of the existence of your faith, it doesn't actually know much about it
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life #YOLO
visiting the Regret Index
I don't claim to have some secret knowledge regarding the existence or nature of God, but I am completely certain that God, if He exists, automatically ignores any prayers that contain hashtags
Parishioners lit candles and placed notes with messages on a wooden cross outside the church, One read colon "We are one, #DallasStrong"
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Rockin'est Rock Steady Beat of Madness in Star Trek Beyond
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Gay in Star Trek Beyond NO HOMO
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Gay in Star Trek Beyond
NO HOMO
NO IRISH EVIL
NO DOGS
not wanting to upset the apple cart and not wanting to cause any harm
NO KIDS
it proudly displays Jeffrey Epstein's seal of approval on the gate
it's totally one of those awful no kids swinger couple resorts where you think twice before wading into the pool to get to the bar
sending Hayden Christensen to Sand Feet Cay
wondering what it would cost to get Hayden Christensen to do a cover of Sandy Cat Fee
wondering what it would cost to get Hayden Christensen to do a cover of Safety Dance
we sent pizza with phone
at least he got a hand job out of it
Police said after several hours of negotiating, with intermittent exchanges of gunfire, the suspect was killed by a bomb wielding robot
Pokemon Cum
Pokemon Come
Pokemon Kento
Pokemon Go
There is nothing to regret, my CV is exactly accurate
My CV as I've presented it are exactly accurate
Wankdong District
Gangbang District
the Walrus in Your Ass
Air Jordan XXX
if I don't survive, tell my wife "hello"
Lizzie van Zyl
bottoming for John Cho in Star Trek Colon Behind
John Cho Colon Sulu is the Rockin'est Rock Steady Beat of Madness in Star Trek Beyond
Mr Flake informed Mr Trump that he was not up for re election this year
Incipient Bissalmuneui
Gangdong District
the Walrus, Dumbass
the Walrus Dumbass
the War in Donbass
I guess I'll have to wait two weeks to find out
wondering who would top and who would bottom if Two Thousand Nine Continuity Sulu and Sulu Prime were to have sex
John Cho Colon Sulu is Eiffel Towered by Chris Pine and a Walrus in Star Trek Beyond
John Cho Colon Sulu Geldof
John Cho Colon Sulu is Asian in Star Trek Beyond
now I am married to a white dude, so we have changed
Anton Yelchin Colon Chekhov is dead in Star Trek Beyond
John Cho Colon Sulu is gay in Star Trek Beyond
something something Roman Polanski, Sith Lord something unlimited power something even the younglings
Lake Poopo, Jedi Knight
Lake Poopo
Eating items or food not meant for human consumption, such as pet food, toxic substances, bodily fluids, refuse, or inedible objects
I think they were implying it was a sheriff's badge because they were talking about corruption and implying she should be arrested
I contend that we are the first race in the world, and that the more of the world we inhabit the better it is for the human race
that scene in Lower Canadian Independence Day where Will Smith punches that alien and says WELCOME TO ERF, EH
the Declaration of Independence of Lower Canada
a vividly horny piece about STONEFISH Rebecchi
busting Jewel's butt
a vividly horny piece about Toadfish Rebecchi
you know you're screwed when even the rabbits won't fuck
trumpchumps
obamarangers
bushrazors
bushrangers
bottoming for Adam Ravage and Jamie Hymen in Buttbusters VII
the Curious Cans of Scarlett Jocansson
bizarrestriatedwormcharming dot co dot uk
wormcharming dot co dot uk
a pair of two cuties
a tale of two cuties
cutie pair
two cuties
Mila Kunis' startling lack of clam opener fist
Mila Kunis' startling lack of clef rapist omen
Mila Kunis' startling lack of self importance
kind of loving the SHH gene, that magnificent bastard
a protein that in humans is encoded by the SHH gene
Mila Kunis Defends Refugees Against Donald Trump Colon "I'm Not Going to Blow This Country Up"
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray incautiously falling for a witch
ogre pair butt bustin' makes me feel good
Sofia Coppola's popular sofa
catching scrofula copulating with Sofia Coppola
Murray is actually Charlotte's husband from the future, who's come back in time because future him realized he neglected her too much
viewing the Bob Harris character from Lost in Translation as the man Bobby Hill grows up to be
Scarlett Johansson, more like Scarlett Herscantsin
prior age
ape rigor
pie or rag
pig rear, O
a riper Go
RoI grape
ogre pair, ogre pair, send the word send the word ogre pair
being slain by an ogre pair
Go RAPIEST
ogre pair
Go rapier
antigeria
progeria
groovin' loose or heart to heart
Howzabout Some Love b slash w Put It There
Two Little Kids b slash w We've Got to Love One Another
Peaches & Herb
butt bustin' makes me feel good
bottoming for Buster Butt in Butt Bustin VII
Butt Bustin
bottoming and topping for Bill Murray in Gratuitous Butts VII
hey guys, remember fax machines
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray
never forgetting Kento, unfortunately
forgetting the gratuitous butt that opens
the last thirty years
kind of wishing that the other Ghostbusters would just randomly cameo in Bill Murray movies, but then remembering that would basically have made them just like the Adam Sandler Players for the last thirty years
septic jack atlas
forgetting the gratuitous butt that opens Lost in Translation
septic jack sock
hock
septic sock
wondering what kind of shock the firefighter who will inevitably drag the dismembered corpse Chris Lydon out of his fuck dungeon will experience
The judgments about the severity of the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction were presented with a certainty that was not justified
Chris Lydon is apparently still alive
disinterring Christopher Lydon's corspe and Eiffel Towering the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated fat gay Asians
honestly not caring if Christopher Lydon is grinding Kento's bones now
honestly not caring if Christopher Lydon is alive or dead now
honestly not knowing if Christopher Lydon is alive or dead now
sargassum, the weed of deceit
Chandler wobble
thirty thousand French colons from Cambodia were displaced after being expelled by the Khmer Rouge regime under Pol Pot
He was even a nasty, bad, naughty boy
He was a bad guy, really bad guy
Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, right
when you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack
wondering if there is a reverse Mandela Effect where you have vivid memories of someone being alive recently but it turns out they've been dead for over a year
Schrodinger's Dooku
still working
dead
honestly not knowing if Christopher Lee is alive or dead now
that Hammer Films is apparently still going
being kind of surprised they're making a new Invisible Man movie, but then remembering they were probably serious when that awful idea of a Classic Monster Cinematic Universe was being thrown around last year
Donald Trump's The Art of The Deal Colon The Movie
wondering if Johnny Depp will ever again play a character who isn't a mincing freakshow
Death Man is dead
to take the forbidden step
Kirk tells Spock to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up
Kirk tells Spock to put the planet on the starmap and to tell headquarters about the giant
Kobayashi Maru vs Giant Dry Worm
watching that bear like a hawk
Kobayashi vs Giant Bear
Joey Chestnut eats America
Before her murder, Eastwood was a mother of four children
They attempted to inform the police but had difficulty in making themselves understood
Tarita Virtue
He is the tyrant lizard king
Joey Chestnut is America
not having met another straight guy
life, uh, finds a way
Andrea Leadsom, who was created by Nazi scientists as a response to Dame Vera Lynn
Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' has tasty opening
Let it Go goat remix
now I'm too good at letting go
GRIEF'S FUN
SUFFERING
unconsciously falling on a witch, HAIL DOROTHY
incessantly falling for a witch
unconsciously falling for a witch
wondering why the American spelling of eagle isn't eagel
guessing that a vet would know the correct way to free an eagle
crapping won't stop the god woo, eh
Wife claims Army vet husband freed a bald eagle with his big gun
chopping wood won't stop the rage
you get a different genie each time that lantern is rubbed
Five Alien Species in Contact With Earth Right Now
a race of odobenoid aliens from the planet Walross VII
cut glass
cutlass
rocking that guy like a hurricane
crashing down in a hurricane
cutting loose like an animal
bottoming for Quark in Hand Negus VII
that when you watched all those scenes in Star Trek with Ferengi getting their ears massaged you were basically watching a hand job
Red Ken's nun bride
drunken inbreeds
literally the worst thing about Boris Johnson being the transparent fantasy he has of being just like Winston Churchill, thus making his spectacular failure, in his own mind, merely a precursor to his eventual popularity decades from now
Candle in the Wind Twenty Sixteen
Boris Johnson Colon Post Brexit 'hysteria' is like when Princess Diana died
regrets about ponies stealing the California gils' bras from the communal laundry room
bottoming for Sebulba in Now THIS is Podraping! VII, poodoo
podracing bottoms
podracing tops
producing post
digitally bottoming for Gene Talia in Post Production VII
learning that Bobby Hill is vegan and thinking, yeah, that boy ain't right
learning that Johnny Depp is Canadian and thinking, yeah, that sounds aboot right, eh
learning that Satan is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
learning that Seitan is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
The genitalia were digitally removed in post production
The Uranian
Crazy Engineering Colon Flying Solar to Uranus, If You Know What I Mean
Crazy Engineering Colon Flying Solar to Jupiter
the death of Jerome Bruner
we're gonna build a walrus pool and make the walrus pay for it
Trumpworld Kento
Pokemon SLIM and CUMS
Pokemon SLIM and SCUM
Laura Dern Worf Hair
bragging about being from West Vagina
bragging about being from West Vegania
playing Laura Dern Warfare on an unranked server
non vegan vegans
learning that VEGAN vegans are vegan and thinking, yeah, that vegans about vegan
learning that vegans are vegan and thinking, yeah, that vegans about vegan
learning that cheerios are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right, crisp
learning that crisps are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right, cheerio
learning that crisps are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
learning that Johnny Depp is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
Johnny Depp Has "JIM" Tattoo Changed to "JAM" Amid Amber Heard Divorce
Ty Dolla $ign
Johnny Depp Has "SLIM" Tattoo Changed to "SCUM" Amid Amber Heard Divorce
playing Modern Worf Hair on Red Ken BORIS van, err
playing Modern Worf Hair on Red Ken anus van, err
Mark Crumpacker wanting to make Kento eight hundred twenty one pounds of cod for his birthday
playing POSTMODERN Worf Hair on an unranked server
we're comin' to your town, we'll help you party it down, we're an Armenian band
playing Modern Worf Hair on an unranked server
They refer to him as "the Armenian actor" or as just "the Armenian"
joining the Cardassian Union because you got in a labor dispute
Cardassians
because it's American made
wondering why Stephen Hawking's voice synthesizer thing doesn't speak with a British accent
A US woman has been given a suspended four month jail sentence in Spain for threatening to kill British physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking
Pokemon Liars, Broken Promises and Racism
standing up against liars, broken promises and racism
Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice
Duke of Juice
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy Geldof
bottoming for Mark Cumpacker in Hot Sauce Ring ANDY SUMMERS VII
bottoming for Mark Cumpacker in Hot Sauce Ring Sting VII
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
They refer to him as "the American actor" or as just "the American"
Mark Crumpacker
wanting to make Kento eight hundred twenty one pounds of cod for his birthday
Captain Swiss Chard
Lieutenant Broccoli
Uncut Legends
blowing a painted pony, letting the spinning wheel turn
riding a painted pony, letting the spinning wheel turn
taking a subscription to Uncut magazine before you fully understood what it was
it was considered that the ringing of balls could prevent the fornication of storms
Asianworld Kento
Gayworld Kento
Fatworld Kento
it was considered that the ringing of bells could prevent the formation of storms
Trump Mulder Twenty Sixteen
records back in the nineties
Tesla said in a blogpost love has started to fade
The car attempted to drive full speed under the trailer, "with the bottom of the trailer impacting the windshield of the Model S", Tesla said in a blogpost
love has started to fade
saying OK it's just a little pinprick
agenty double o seven
Agent Double O Seven something dinosaur sex something autofill cache
mistletoe and holly deck the halls
Agent Double O Seven something Brexit something Falkland Islands something something North Korea pussy something South American nations
we, the people
our North Korea
Satellite imagery suggests China is pimping our North Korea to South American nations
Agent Double O Seven is sent to stop China from renting Chile North Korea pussy
Satellite imagery suggests China is renting Chile North Korea pussy
Satellite imagery suggests China is sexually punishing North Korea
Satellite imagery suggests China is secretly punishing North Korea
Trump Sandler Twenty Sixteen
Trump Sanders Twenty Sixteen
you can, just, get blown up and tortured, get blown up and tortured
you don't, have, to live like a refugee, don't have to live like a refugee
that to be honest when you hear the word "refugees" you do get a little bit angry and distrustful of the intentions of those it represents, but only because you had to listen to all those Fugees records back in the nineties
Agent Double O Seven infiltrates the northern French coast to destroy a camp filled with nefarious rapefugees
I haven't seen any of the Bourne films so I can't comment
he does not stop
Jason Bourne wakes from a coma with no idea of who he is or where he received all his weapons training or how he managed to maintain a gym honed physique and immediately starts shooting everybody
wondering what kind of tone postTrump Bourne films will take
Agent Double O Seven is in another country living it up because he was apparently very rich all along, that's how you know he's better than you
Agent Double O Seven is sent to the Land of the Dead to reassure the Skeleton King that his daughter is safe as Queen of Little England
basically the same but the targets will be smaller and the women will be 'beautiful'
Agent Double O Seven is sent to Truro to disrupt unification talks with the New Gaelic Republic
Agent Double O Seven is on a mission to Scotland when he discovers a breakaway sect in the North of England is receiving funds from there, so he murders half of Northumberland with a variety of overpowered and outlandish weapons to punish the conspiracy
TELL Yukio Miyachi EVERYTHING
Ask Yukio Miyachi Anything
that you worry quite a bit that you may actually resemble Stephen Fry
that you worry you may actually resemble Stephen Fry quite a bit
Agent Double O Seven is tasked to prevent an assassination attempt on a failed real estate mogul turned failed reality TV star turned orange skinned Presidential candidate but is all like I don't give a fuck
Agent Double O Seven rushes to stop a Serbian warlord from staging false flag terrorist attacks in Rome, but is detained for twelve hours at Calais for discrepancies in his paperwork
wondering what kind of tone postBrexit Bond films will take
Bond extracts information from a caviar merchant by immersing him in a vat of his own caviar and threatening to drown him in it
booking in to Logface to find a message from Zuck Bergermark asking you to please leave, and going back to YamSpec to find that Otm has left you a message instructing you to delete your account
only from behind
Stephen Fry will still take you
logging in to Facebook to find a message from Mark Zuckerberg asking you to please leave, and going back to MySpace to find that Tom has left you a message instructing you to delete your account
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is actually two small boys in a raincoat, one standing on the other's shoulders
Transgender People Will Be Allowed to Serve Openly in Military
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is the back half of a pantomime horse
That could be a Mexican plane up there
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is the front half of a pantomime horse
logging in to MyFry only to discover that your only friend is still Stephen and the only thing he's posted is the welcome message everybody gets
Donald Trompe
How To Make McFly's French Donalds
How To Make McDonald's French Fries
The red dragon ain't no evil
declaring that inequality is essential to fostering "the spirit of envy" and hailing greed as a "valuable spur to economic activity"
turning your back to the future parts
MyFry
bottoming for Stephen MyFry in Bareback to the Future Parts I, II, and III
saying she died easy of a broken heart disease
remember Gove, he's back, in POB form
it's just one of those astonishing things
he looks like Pob
I'm certain I'm not the first person to say this, but he looks like a ventriloquist's dummy
classic British body horror movie, Michael Gove's Face
classic British body horror movie, The Fry, desu ne
classic British body horror movie, The Fry
saying I live in a seashell free from the world
saying he was a most peculiar man
oh Rio, Rio, she has lost her feet and hands
her name is Rio and she washes up on the sand
Doctors worry over women going for cleanshaven 'Barbie doll look'
POINT BREAK REMAKE Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace SUCKS
POINT BREAK Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace Photographed
Ghost Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace Photographed
bottoming for Miss Teen USA in Taking the Hugest Dump Colon Swimsuit Edition
dumping the hugest swimsuit
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit, Thousands of Horny Fecophiliacs Disappointed by Misunderstanding
Mutilated body washes up on Rio beach that is Olympics beach volleyball venue
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit, Thousands of Horny Losers Disappointed by Misunderstanding
Mr T USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit
Mr T'wat
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit
Time Travelling Kento coming back to have sex with himself
Mr T'was
that Mr T was diagnosed with T cell lymphoma
tricking ryan north into dating Kento
remember Will Arnett, he's back, in GOB form
hey guys, remember Jaylala, she's back, in POG form
remember Trump, he's back, in GOP form
checking this site after many, many spicy cheetos
Ditka surprised to read that he'll be at GOP convention with Trump, da Bears
That's when the weed, crank, and the machete came out
Cummingtonite
checking the California Girls site
tricking this site into checking another site
checking this site until she had a breastgasm
checking this site after many, many Eiffel Towerings by Chris Lydon and a walrus
checking this site after many, many twinks
checking this site after many, many bears
checking this site after many, many beers
checking this site after wrecking this site
checking this site after many, many years
listening to Linkin Park in Lincoln Park in a Lincoln in park
Ryan Quisling North
if I could just ride out recessions in college I'd have four Nobel Prizes in four different fields by now
Crumpet Ringo Quisling Geldof, Hogwarts Groundskeeper
do you have any idea how much it costs to qualify as a padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight
Crumpet Ringo Quisling Geldof, Jedi Knight
Ringo would be a good middle name
he gets by with a little help from his crayons
Illustrations by Ringo Suck
Paul Colon Open Bracket
they do indeed
Illustrations by Paul Blow
He liked to post innocent looking links that led to a photo of a My Little Pony doll he had jerked off on
holy crap, wancakes are actually a thing
wancakes
a portmanteau of "pancakes" and "waffles"
of all the ways the world could end, the one where you aren't asked to make any kind of effort or show any concern whatsoever is the best
that for all the ways the world could end, the Hand Job Robot Apocalypse is probably one of the better ones, because, y'know, at least you get a hand job
so this is how the hand job robot apocalypse begins, to thunderous applause
backtracking, European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker declares himself both a robot and a bureaucrat to thunderous applause
not realizing that pro robot sentiment was so strong in the European Commission
European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker is heckled after saying that he is neither a robot nor a bureaucrat
I'm not your guy, doll
New PROOF in CENTURIES Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' FROZEN Case
New Theory in Decades Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' Cold Case
He later went on to stage a successful production of Guys and Dolls and opened an experimental theatre
New Theory in Decades Old 'Boy in the Box' Cold Case
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all memes" to leave the Regret Index but insisted he wasn't talking about "one legged Pakis"
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all immigrants" to leave the UK but insisted he wasn't talking about "Pakis"
you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something
a shaved orangutan with Owen Wilson's hair
there's a difference between being unemployable and being beaten to death because some idiot thinks you're foreign and it's all legitimised now
let's be honest with ourselves, it's not like anyone would hire you anyway
realising late last night that having a Polish middle name is probably at best hurting your employment chances now and at worst likely to attract violence
just absolutely dreading lookng at the halo hangin' from the corner of my girlfriend's four post bed every morning now
also this
just absolutely dreading looking at the regret index every morning now
just absolutely dreading looking at the news every morning now
N'Por, Chacellor of the Klingon High Council
EJaculating
your body is Canada's wonderland, eh
Canada's Wonderland
snerging Jewel's seat
now that's what I call a close encounter
winning the Teen Choice Award for Most Snergable Bike Seat with seventeen votes
NASA bleaching up your butt all morning, meow
NASA eating up your butt all morning
NASA being up your butt all morning
getting me the secretary of defense, THEN wanking him
getting me the secretary of defense, THEN waking him
wondering what the wasted output of a solar panel left on the moon by the Apollo Eleven mission would have been to twenty sixteen
we came in peace for all mankind
kind of deliberately disabling Gene Hunt, that goddamn pony blowing bastard
it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason
unless one of them becomes like a huge disease ridden hoebag or something
for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac
wondering who the most snergable celebrity is
drawing a picture of Will Smith smooshing his face into Mae Whitman's horse's bicycle seat and saying "WELCOME TO ERF"
WELCOME TO ERF
knowing that you've watched Independence Day relatively recently, perhaps as far back as the announcement of a sequel, but not remembering very much about it at all
her though
it's going to be harder and harder to attact American celebs to StarSnergers, what with the whole Brexit thing
wondering whether Mae Whitman is in the StarSnergers program
just now realizing that the hooker's kid from Independence Day was Nicky from the Fresh Prince, and the president's daughter from Independence Day was Ann Veal
suffering the results of a near fifty fifty vote tipped over by a portion of the population of whom one in fourteen are known to have some form of dementia
being pretty sure that your fairly meager savings were wiped out this morning, and that trying to withdraw them would contribute to a run on the bank and really wipe them out, and that by the time compensation is discussed hyperinflation will be in effect
it includes more Old Estonians than it does Old Etonians
Lesbians and Gays Piss on Trump There
Lesbians Against Copier Sluts
Lesbians Against Pit Closures
I have an interest in nude girls, I started doing this III years ago
Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Homo Room
kissing for Mark Hamill at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, this Sunday at eight in the evening
an invisible man, fuckin' on the moon
klling for Mark Hamill at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room, near the Rose Bowl
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room
shaving a politician who is fiscally responsible for the entire nation who has a bad week and spends the entire weekend doing crystal meth with his mate
having a politician who is fiscally responsible for the entire nation who has a bad week and spends the entire weekend doing crystal meth with his mates
some people might argue that a man who was personally responsible for the stability being taken out in the first place ought instead to have the batteries put in
putting the stability back in
Alex and his handsome sentient pound must travel back to the past and sway the vote for European solidarity, by proving that all you need is love
wondering how one goes about becoming a ghost on the fucking moon
we're all going to fucking die
old gray mare she ain't what she used to be
marrying a carrot
winning friends and influencing salad
not winning friends with salad
actually being surprised that there really is a guy named Donald Tusk, and he is not just a gay porn star name we dreamed up to soddomize Kento
always putting either too much or too little dressing on salad
being continually reminded that Nigel Farage has only got one ball
Boris and Cameron 'gnawed away at each other's testicles'
hardened cynics you have known for years suddenly and openly showing real fear in the face of this madness
not really being anosmic
probably coddling cock
probably cooking cod
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Chris Lydon and a Walrus
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Donald Trump and Taylor Swift
wondering if you're really anosmic or if it was just part of the joke
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that goddamn deliberately disabled bastard
Quite some time ago, I was over at a friend's house watching him and another friend play a board game called Sex & Ill Asia
I'll let you decide which party is which
that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides
John 'The Dwayne' Rockson
EUROS Of Cock Per Year
Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Drain The Rod Johnson
going to that Cod Festival
it would have been funnier if I had written Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
"cod"
being anosmic since birth but being able to guess that the Rock is probably cooking cod
someone worked it out and it's like an entire minimum wage worth at wholesale prices, just for one item from what you'd hope is a fairly bland and repetitive menu, because fuck that guy
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
going to the Fatass Guava Islet
going to that Ass Ague Festival
Rick Moranis Sausage Festival
Quite some time ago, I was over at a friend's house watching him and another friend play a board game called Axis & Allies
"Dior" is short for "diorite", a speckled, coarse grained igneous rock consisting essentially of plagioclase, feldspar, and hornblende or other mafic minerals
unsigned comments by Yves Saint Laurent
unsigned comments by Kento
WEEPING as you BELLOW the theme from ECSTATIC WEEKS
sobbing as you sing the theme from Happy Days
letting Liner do a bone off your bust
DUCK Rollanus, JEDI Knight
DUCK Rollanus
Rick Rollanus
Three Pretty Risky Colon Men and a Baby
No Bottom, I thought they closed that place down
honkalonkery
bottoming for "Downtown" Orlando Bloom in No Bottom VII
quackery
Orlando Bloom has no bottom
letting Buster do a line off your boner
plebiscites
Downtown Orlando has no bottom
Prime Minister Housekeeping
topping for Tom Cruise and Richard Gere in Pretty Risky Colon Men VII
Pretty Risky Colon Men Would Skip Condoms with Attractive Women
Prick Foranus
Rick Moranus
drawing a picture of Prime Minister Farage giving a fucktrumpet to President Trump
that you haven't given a shit about Juan Direction since Senor Zayn left
imagining President Trump and Prime Minister Farage or Gove or Fucktrumpet or whatever trying to negotiate a sex position in which both come out on top
As Trump landed today he was greeted by Mariachi band, Juan Direction, armed with a wheelbarrow full of bricks
I want to dive into your ocean
Ryan's decision not to implement forced SSL meaning that the amazing Regret Index will probably be used at your treason trial, after which you will be taken out back and bludgeoned to death with like a dead lesbian or something equally grim
imagining President Trump and Prime Minister Farage or Gove or Fucktrumpet or whatever trying to negotiate a trade deal in which both come out on top
the sole consolation in the aftermath of Brexit is that when Trump is elected you won't have to go through another lonely Valentine's day, because of being dead in a nuclear holocaust
imagining that most of America is going to be frantically Googling who this "Donald Trump" guy everyone has been talking about on the morning of November ninth
The British are frantically Googling what the EU is, hours after voting to leave it
Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals
not being sure how many times you listened to "A Tiny Swampland, Eh, Sic" as a preteen
In a fifty two forty eight referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way
not being sure how many times you listened to "Can I Play With Madness" as a preteen
making America grate again
bringing your daughter, bringing your daughter, to the slaughter
Trump thanks him for the gesture, but says that he already has plenty
Starsuckers
Comedian Lee Nelson interrupts Donald Trump event in Scotland, handing out swastika emblazoned golf balls
Frexit
Spexit
the Biritsh public, chereoi
wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem
A Texan went to the hospital for surgery, She woke up with a startling British accent
Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU
Donald Trump Says Brits 'Took Back Control of Their Country,' Promises That He Will Also Withdraw US From EU if Elected, 'Build a Wall Around Europe'
just now realising that "sarcophagus" means the same thing as "carnivore"
that's it, dex over, nothing can ever top that
orange is the new blackface
wondering why all the really colossal racists in politics are orange
Donald Trump Says Brits 'Took Back Control of Their Country'
Man charged with removing another man's watch in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's wallet in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's spectacles in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's testicle in a motel
sure, I'll lose some people I care about, but the net gain is worth it
I need you to design a bomb that kills anybody over the age of fifty, send it to last week, and detonate it
I'm going to need you to do something for me
GADASS
Global Aeronautical Distress and Safety System
Kodiak US House candidate put up campaign billboard with the slogan 'Make America White Again'
Tennessee US House candidate put up campaign billboard with the slogan 'Make America White Again'
Life As a Star Wars
Ikedaclysm
Ikedagasm
Ikedaclasm
deep in Myke Hawke, I do believe we're not gonna make it
deep in my heart, I do believe we're not gonna make it
Dior's Lewd Pagan Sand Strip, eh
Barely Legally Blonde
that we make up lots of fake porn titles here but Legally Blonde is actually a really good name for a porn film as it is
Rebecca Black has been through some rough times like many childhood stars and is doing good things in her personal life
Legally Bangable Colon Red, White, and Boned
Legally Bangable
wondering which musicians Rebecca Black is interning for
Rebecca Black has recently been super busy in the studio working on some exciting new music, that we cannot wait to hear
Pokemon Life As a House & Star Wars
just now realizing that Rebecca Black has been legally bangable for over a year now
I don't like Sandshrew, it's course and rough and irritating, it gets everywhere
Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars
Hayden Christensen, star of Life As a House & Star Wars
riding Bicoid Babe style dildo refuse
writing Bicoid Babe style dildo reviews
the New York Times being infiltrated by fringe prosand propagandists
always and forevermore I call to say I'm on the way
The World's Disappearing Sand
Myke Hawke Does XXX Tricks
My Pony Does XXX Tricks
en kol chadash tachat hashamesh
I think we may have invented a new kind of porn here
drawing a picture of HILLARY the CLYDESDALE with a big grin on HER face standing next to a visibly PARTURITIONAL DONALD TRUMP
drawing a picture of HILLARY the Pony with a big grin on HER face standing next to a visibly pregnant DONALD TRUMP
drawing a picture of Bill the Pony with a big grin on his face standing next to a visibly pregnant Rosie Cotton
assuming that twenty is good and one is bad in Dungeons & Dragons, which you have never played and only vaguely remember the cartoon of
Gary Gygax rolled a natural twenty for Trolling
Ha'ponies have the upper body of a halfling combined with the lower body of a pony
btrfly
getting a lick job from a centaur hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
on a mountain of skulls, in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, sitting on a throne of lick job offers
seeing how many ponies you could blow in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, then trying to break that record
seeing how many ponies you could blow in a season, and then trying to break that record
holding the Car Lesbians
thrilling the Car Lesbians
kissing the Car Lesbians
killing the Car Lesbians
Car Lesbians
bragging about blowing only eight ponies per season
on a mountain of skills, in the office of HR, sitting on a throne of job offers
writing Bicoid Babe on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood type regrets
regrets about pony season
writing Bicoid Babe blood type regrets
typing Bicoid Babe write regrets
Cleveland Park Flooding Time Lapse
writing Bicoid Babe type regrets
really wanting to try driving with polarised sunglasses, but not wanting to spend all that money on prescription lenses that you might not like
just now realizing that those "bounty hunters" are probably magical girls, desu ne
just now realizing that all that "stuff" you swallowed was probably semen
just now realizing that those "tentacles" are probably dicks
the two Carkoon dicks Boba Fett banged on the Slave I
the two cartoon dicks Jango Fett painted on the Slave I
wishing you could have a general election instead of a referendum
I just wouldn't have done it
nobody would write such a lengthy and detailed fanfiction and post it to the internet unless there were a solid kernel of truth to it
David Schwimmer is going to sue us in England
I've heard that about the F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
they love having sex with donkeys
for dutch people very fun
breading Kento and serving him with butter and sprinkles, jij hebt seks met ezels
everybody's laughing under cigarette trees
'FINDING DORY' HAS TRANSGENDER STINGRAY
I said hello, asked if it was okay to take his picture, and then asked why he was dressed as a plant
he also raped a bear
There is one particularly sick photo of a child holding what appears to be a dead goose bludgeoned to death!
that's precisely what I mean
you mean sticking your penis in him
I know what you mean
reboning Kento, if you know what I mean
deboning Kento, stuffing him into a chicken, which is then stuffed in a duck, which is then stuffed in a turkey
breading Kento and serving him with vinegar and chips, cheerio
breading Kento and serving him with ketchup and fries
JJRW Turkien
that you were never a big fan of JMW Turner's controversial Canadian Period
the two dorks on cacti JMW Turner painted on Pastel Shive, Eh
the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship
Bears and wolves often shit in same woods, neither should be approached, report finds
Rightwing extremists kill and injure more people in lone wolf attacks than Islamist terrorists acting alone, a report by a security thinktank says
Anal Bum Skeins
Anus Slime Bank
thank god they managed to buy all those Harriers dirt cheap a few years back
Lesbian Unmask
Unsinkable Sam
Romulans forced to pull warbirds out of 'boner day' after new fleet delay, Number One
Marine Corps forced to pull warbirds out of 'boneyard' after new fleet delay
Trump's staff surrounded his home with a six metre high earthen wall and then rows of trees, blocking his house from being seen from the course
That's blood money is blood money
Tejit
Brentering Kento
breast shitting Kento
Brexiting Kento
Dinosaur Sex Colon Alabama Teen Needs Firefighters to Pry Barney Off Her Ass
Dinosaur Attack Colon Alabama Teen Needs Firefighters to Pry Barney Off Her Head
straddling Kento and bottoming his pound, cheerio
stranding Kento and puddling his tot, boom
straddling Kento and pounding his bottom
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drum luge
naming your daughter Kento
naming your daughter Tiny Tiger
naming your daughter SASKATCHEWAN, EH
naming your daughter Rooney neighborino
naming your daughter Montana
naming your daughter Indiana
naming your daughter Ruin Me
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes
she's gone from suck to blow!
rooning your daughter Namey
roon rod rodden on heaven's door
Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena
Quicken Loans Arena
wondering who would win in a fight between David Cameron Diaz and Mickey Rooney Mara
Rooney Rod Roddenberry Geldof
naming your daughter Rooney
Rod Roddenberry
The magazine also determined that their readers' "SNES" for the series included Dan Stevens as the captain, Rooney Mara as the first officer, Gina Torres as the doctor, Nick Frost as the engineer, and Wil Wheaton as the Federation President
seeing Axl Rose mentioned on the internet and wishing you'd thought of "you could be mine, but you're way over there" back when he was last mentioned
The magazine also determined that their readers' "dream cast" for the series included Dan Stevens as the captain, Rooney Mara as the first officer, Gina Torres as the doctor, Nick Frost as the engineer, and Wil Wheaton as the Federation President
the Klingons of the late twenty three eighties went back in time and PETAHQ'd JRR Tolkien before he wrote any stories in their universe, because they were sick of that shit
Three Men and a Baby Into Darkness
wondering why they couldn't get Zachary Quinto to perform The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins over the end credits of Lord of the Rings II Colon The Hobbit Colon Part III Colon The Battle of the Five Armies Colon The Legend of Curly's Gold
we could always bump French Stewart up
he's already set to play Old Russian Spy from an alternate timeline
Walter Koenig is still kicking
well, all his scenes were filmed so I guess we're okay, but we'll have to find a replacement for President Housekeeping II Colon Taking Out the Trash
I guess we're going to need someone else to play the Russian spy in President Housekeeping
the irony of Anton Yelchin apparently being killed because he failed to properly apply the parking brake, when the plot of his first Star Trek movie hinged on his and his ship's survival because he mistakenly failed to disengage it
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is BALLS DEEP in the CLINTONS filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is in the CLINTONS filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is in the bushes filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a waffle tricking a minimalist into dating a hoarder
in the bushes filming me
drawing a picture of Montana Fishburne peeing on Kim Jong il's scalp while Miley Cyrus takes a dump on his chest
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento eats a waffle
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a waffle
tricking a minimalist into dating a hoarder
Gogigyeopbbang
A government website once stated that Kim Jong il never needed to urinate or defecate
the death of Anton Yelchin
screwing everything up so badly
the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that she had a breastgasm
Sage, Seargeoh, Sistine, Sophia, and Scarlet Stallone
the citizens of the ski resort community of Killington, Vermont, voted in favor of pursuing secession from Vermont and admission into the state of New Hampshire
the right to arm gays
Pink Pistols
dumping a bucket of semen over French Stewart while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
something between dyslexia and perversion leading you to momentarily believe that you had read a comment about dumping a bucket of semen over French Stewart
special guest star Old Ass Emmy Cicierega
President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan
President Housekeeping
He called me 'Ms Housekeeping' in front of his friends
I feel like a supermodel, except like times ten
Death to Traitors Freedom for Britain Geldof
My name is death to traitors, freedom for Britain
insulting Turkish Radiohead
Turkish police use tear gas on protesters after Radiohead fans attacked
Kony Ikeda Sixty Nine
the roar of "Poutine, eh!" by Canadian fans trying to distract the opposing goalkeeper punting the ball upfield
the roar of "Eeeh puto!" by Mexican fans trying to distract the opposing goalkeeper punting the ball upfield
Rappin' for Jesus
Astronomers Find Unusually Large Number Of Hot Jupiters In Dense Star Cluster
finding "Trump Ikeda Sixty Nine" in your autofill cache
finding "Trump Ikeda Twenty Sixteen" in your autofill cache
that we couldn't elect Joseph Kony in Twenty Twelve, but we may be able to in Twenty Sixteen
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is Joseph Kony
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a gay fish
pretend I said that four years ago
regrets about Kony jacking in San Diego
regrets about Kony jacking
KIKIDEE used HEARTBREAK! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
when you were a kid and you were handed down a portable record player and like four records, which were Elton John and Kiki Dee's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart", two Iron Maiden singles, and something else you've forgotten thirty years later
Kiki Dee, Jedi Knight
RuRINGO
don't go breaking Myke Hawke
Ensign RuPaul
RuJohn
RuPaul John, Jedi Knight
wondering how a racist, violent, murderous, homophobic gay guy managed to get a string of endorsement deals and starring roles in theatrically released movies and you couldn't even arrange a snerging of the bike seat of someone you've actually met
I think it was RuPaul
not remembering who Elton John's second wife was
wondering how a racist, violent, murderous, homophobic gay guy managed to get not one but two women to marry him and you're stuck fantasizing about banging busty late nineties pop country singers
a sign that says OXEN GOUT
a sign that says OX TOUNGE
being perceived as a space cowboy
being perceived as a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker
being perceived as a Prince Albert
being perceived as racist, cheerio
bottoming for Hulk Homo in Aroused Passions VII
being perceived as a jerk
being kind of surprised there's no pornstar called Hulk Homo
'Subway Footlong' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length
wanting to put Kento's sex tape up on Gawker for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Hulk Hoagie for his birthday
that you never had the chance to stuff your face with a Hulk Hoagie with a side of Hulkamanicotti
rights to use his name an image to promote "pasta, pasta restaurants, sandwiches and sun tan oil"
the result was an attractive looking, good singing bird
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a cross between a meat ram and a hardy mountain ewe
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a mule
Gene Hunt, blowing a pony in West Virginia
Lydon, his radio show cancelled
Kento, his cheeks spread wide
Ohi and Ohana
Kento, when the index was large
Kento, between Lydon and a walrus
Kadir beneath Mo Moteh
That girl's father, Daniel Stoltzfus, said he did online research and was under the impression that it was legal to give his daughter to Kaplan after the man helped his family financially, court papers state
Oholah and Oholibah
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
being conceived as a joke
being perceived as a joke
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a dum gruel
telling the Tatooine authorities that Kento is a dug lemur
buffing Angel Colon
drawing a picture of Angel Colon and Sarah Bustamantes standing around shrugging their shoulders wondering why we're ignoring them
doing angel colon just one more time
Canada worst hit by rise in sand and dust storms, eh
jokes
I thought we weren't doing Angel Colon
Angel Colon, Sith Master
The Valencia's provincial prosecutor's office said it was studying a recent speech made by Valencia Archbishop Antonio Canizares in which he said "powers such as the gay empire" promoted the rise of movements against the Christian family
many Fruitarians died to express this breast milk
destroying the rebel base on Fruitar
expressing breast milk with your cut off hand
Luke Breastfeeder
Fruitarian Breastfeeder Hand Expresses Breast Milk
Vatican halyu wave
Vatican Mexican wave
Vatican crime wave
Vatican worst hit by rise in bears shitting
Middle East worst hit by rise in sand and dust storms
playing strip Egyptian Ratscrew with a wererat
saying that this adventure was only the beginning of strange occurrence in Penis Valley, hinting at a possible sequel
wondering whether the FBI have established Owen Wilson's alibi during the period in which the Golden State Killer was operating
that humanised Oscar the Grouch looking fella
saying that this adventure was only the beginning of strange occurrences in Pine Valley, hinting at a possible sequel
Alien vs Parkour
Abraham Lincoln, Parkour Guy
Pride and Prejudice and Parkour
The Murders in the Rue Morgue, Twenty Sixteen Edition
bottoming for Ray Parker VII in Rape Parkour VII
clothing his hide
hiding his clones
hiding his clothes
spoffing it all
spending it all
Pokemon Batley and Spen
confusing pete rose with pete best
Ray Parker III's great great aunt petunia
Ray Parker Jr penis area tug taunt
Ray Parker Sr's aunt Petunia
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia slapping Kento naked and hiding his clothes
briefly wondering what Kento could have said to an elderly woman to provoke such a violent response then realizing it was definitely something about nomoi
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia shiving Kento
shaving Kento
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia
shiving Kento
sieving Kento
cifing Kento
fliming Springfield
yiffing Kento
filming Kento
filling Kento
fining Kento
fining Suzy
fining Dory
Jumpin' Jack Pants
a pair of Cockney sea lions
Armenian Chucker Inc
American Chunker Inc
buttering my butt and calling me a biscuit
she's going to "slap you naked and hide your clothes"
Two fake Tom Cruises
an image of a penis covered by a clenched like fist with the words "mine is bigger"
our secret's worth its weight in gold
buying Jack pants with Jack Atlas
buying Jack pants with Jack Palance
far right wing tart
calling Karachi "Sind City"
Doctors Without Jack Pants
right wing fart art
a British former skeleton racer and Olympic gold medallist
for lack of a Jack pants the cam opportunity was lost
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Them," she spoke in mouse voice
To swagger into Brussels with CONFEDERATE Jack pants on and say ' 'Ello luv, you're looking nice today, would you like some'
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Would you like a sandwich," she mouthed
having no Jack pants whatsoever, be they Union or otherwise
there's only one thing they should be mouthing, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge, amirite
WOMEN, amirite
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Them," she mouthed
these queens get shit done
To swagger into Brussels with Union Jack pants on and say ' 'Ello luv, you're looking nice today, would you like some'
Each video includes special narration that has been tailored and crafted to give the user full enjoyment of the scene
Wesley Crushing it
that white people have been crushing it for five centuries
white swans can't crush it
that white people can't jump
White people outside taking selfies with tornadoes and shit
the duck of windsor crushing it
bottoming for Red Don in Red MenAss VII
ripping it
Red MenAss
Red Colon
walking around gay and asian in memphis
growing up fat in north korea
growing up gay and asian in memphis
the duck of windsor
crushing it
proposing that Trump and Clinton play World of Tanks to determine who shall be president
feeling like it seems every Presidential election related headline this year involves someone "ripping" someone or something, and wondering whether the candidates of this year have an unusual proclivity for ripping, or if headline writers are just lazy
sexual ecstasy is preying on human beings
there's a third Gallagher brother too
Miley Cyrus #justSEOthings
Medium Sized Reddish Dawn
being aware that there was more than one Hemsworth brother, but being genuinely surprised that there are three
Red Dawn II Colon Red Evening
#justinsomniathings
being so tired that while concentrating on a screen eighteen inches from your face you completely ignore a cup of tea you made yourself, for ninety minutes, while it's literally between you and the screen
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Hold Hands During NYC Date Night, Kodiak Man Has to Google to Him to Find Out Whether He's the Guy From Oasis or Thor, And It Turns Out He's Neither
recently discovering you have a fetish for Pokemon Wearing Tennis Shoes and Either Bikinis or Bra and Panties
recently discovering you have a fetish for computers wearing tennis shoes and either bikinis or bra and panties
regret number two three nine six two
that, upon some introspection, you realized that you do indeed have very minor fetishes for sneakers, socks, and nylons, which are all kind of foot focused, but you enjoy them in the context of the entire body, not the body parts themselves
that's just how it is
they're stupid and I don't understand them
not understanding how foot fetishists can be anything other than stupid for their obsession with faintly cheesy faintly vinegary misshapen hands
seriously not understanding what the hell is supposed to be erotic about footjobs, like are they supposed to be performed when you're just out of the shower or what because most of the rest of the time the soles of your feet are filthy
hand, blow, and foot, amirite
a woman with three jobs
a WOMAN
When a fleshless corpse is found on a Florida estate, a reclusive caretaker, an investigative reporter, a police officer, and a woman discover that a creature whose victims die in a frenzied state of sexual ecstasy is preying on human beings
a pornographic horror novel about a creature that uses sex pheromones to lure its prey to their doom
that even though it is Regret Index policy to make fun of all people with even vaguely sexual names, Angel Colon has been through a lot so that's all I'm going to ever say about him
that when you hear Angel Colon you imagine the little devil and angel sitting on your shoulder like in the old cartoons except instead of your shoulder it's your asshole
vital amines
necessary animals
essential oils
vital minerals
by god he'll die trying
a man cannot live on walrus spoff alone
wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible
It had the hair, the nose, everything
your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff
really wishing journalists would write "his pigeon became a grouse" instead of "he got swangry"
your diet of M&M's
putting M&Ms in your mom's linguine, if you know what I mean
putting M&Ms in your mom's linguine
your diet of sliced sinful sense pie
your diet of unspecified illnesses
the ravioli of your mom
being a lovable person and yet being unloved
the unraveling of your mind
One person was seen committing an "indecent act" as they drove at speed in a BMW
mom's linguine
dreaming you sold your car, but it was a magic car like Herbie and you instantly regretted it, and so tracking it down and recovering it while doing a Dean Jones impression
you die of asthma
vagina mat, shh
having asthma
being slain by a clawing ogress
clawing ogress
growing scales
shaved volitions
nothing's gonna save us now
slavish devotion
you die of dysentery
Slavophiles
beefing her
porking her
walrus butthurt
walrus butter
having a fursuit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
Venus of Vestonice
Kento knows more about fucking walruses than will i am
Kento knows more about fucking walruses than I ever will
we have lost objective butter
Denton knows more about fucking pigs than I ever will
Mr Spaghetti
having a surfeit of lampreys on your work laptop
Agent Cody Two Banks Colon Destination London
you die of unspecified illnesses
also this is a work laptop, so it would be coworkers who found out
they've already seen me having dinosaur sex with agenty fiftyseven in my autofill cache, I don't think anything could shock them now
signed, Miley Cyrus
blowing almost constantly
wondering if "drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on Eminem's scalp while Chris Brown takes a dump on his chest" is the kind of thing you want your loved ones to find in your autofill cache after you die of unspecified illnesses
don't miss your chance to blow
drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on Eminem's scalp while Chris Brown takes a dump on his chest
having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
really wishing journalists would write "surfeit of lampreys" instead of "furiously masturbating"
really wishing journalists would write "his gorge rose" instead of "he got angry"
#deaf
being resigned to urine, Eminem, death
being resigned to your own eminent domain
being resigned to your own imminent death
FOZZIE BEAR pornalism
orange and ginger beer with a twist of lime
not fucking around
proceeding immediately to the emergency room or seeking emergency medical assistance
coughing up a bunch of blood
Ronald David Roberts
The tweet was later deleted from the Leave dot EU account but not before it had been retweeted about lOO times and drawn condemnation from remain campaigners
gonzo pornalism
really wishing pornalists would write "his penis became aroused" instead of "he got horny"
valse triste
False Dmitry II
ratitorhea
galactorrhea
thanks, you too
that you're a silly person, but you have some interesting characteristics
Clinton stated that the allegation was absurd because Willey is a small breasted woman and he would never pursue such a woman
Plan Kathleen
Pokemon Rool and Franjean
bottoming for Kevin Polack in Downmarket Polacks VII
finding agent fiftyseven having rough sex with a downmarket polack in your autofill cache
Downmarket Polack Monday
Premium Greek Sunday
Upscale Latin Saturday
Mateen's gayher was quoted as saying that he had seen his son's passion get aroused after seeing a fat couple killing at a festival marketplace in Miami months prior to the attack, which he suggested might be a motivating factor, yeah yeah yeah yeah Miami
really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry"
Mateen's father was quoted as saying that he had seen his son get angry after seeing a gay couple kissing at a festival marketplace in Miami months prior to the attack, which he suggested might be a motivating factor
being partially bananas
slowness
failing to grow
being the subject
the limits of language
that you want to use what little passion you have well
that you will probably not live for very much longer
that the fire burns so little in you
the inability to see
the look in my eyes
a love of peace
the unbearable
that which can only be known without speaking
personal meaning
the lovers
coach z
friend z
frenzy
my memories of you
that you may be a fool but not the kind of fool everyone thinks you to be
being totally bananas
that you're not even fixated on sex, what interests you is a deep, meaningful and terrifying relationship
wondering which will come first, Diablo IV or Kento having sex
that you're not a monster
the inexplicable charisma of the rival
wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred billion regrets or Kento having sex
wondering how it always comes back to this
wondering how Kento writes his name in kancho
feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open
betting Myke Hawke couldn't swallow all those batteries
a feeling at my fingertips that's pulling at Myke Hawke
a feeling at my fingertips that's pulling at my skin
it just happens automatically
you make Kento defile fog, eh
you make the knife feel good
Several people injured in harpooning at Florida fat club
Several people injured in shooting at Florida Asian club
Several people injured in shooting at Florida gay club
that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit
Pokemon Animals and Celebrities
that if you read BYOB XP, you'd be a hipster
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule
Hey its me kento i drink pee
bjork please post on byob
hej
most of our Kento memes here relate to you getting fucked by animals and celebrities
that if you read BYOB XP, you'd have learned about the Kento Is Tripping Sack meme
I take Myke Hawke in doses
let's start with webcam stuff and see where we want to go from there
Maybe one day we can fuck in bank
I take my drugs in doses
space nigga
who the fuck bitch is this
my erect anal olives
love, manatee lyrics
love, merely Satanic
violent camel years
young turtle the carbon god
fat straight asians doesn't really roll off the tongue
I'm straight
coming in third then changing up to a more appropriate gear
space roar
Samantha Fox donated her favourite bra to a charity auction
Ben Stein Colon Ferris Bueller Represents the Reagan Era
coming in third
straddling a pole between a pair of giant inflatable legs
and oh how they danced, the little douchebags of Stonehenge
their Brit Award was reportedly found buried in a field near Stonehenge
drawing a picture of the rachel being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Love, American Style
Kenchel
noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person
wondering which of the many time wasting opportunities the internet provides would be better than the amazing Regret Index
Your potential regret of Christopher Lydon's Erection has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
Christopher Lydon's Regretcion
Christopher Nolan's Regretcion
regrection
it's hard to grasp
wondering why anyone would be still talking about a joke that's like six years old
coming ON sounding a bit REINHOLDY
demanding ristet from a polse
electroplating Kento's penis
demanding R E S P E C T from a search engine
that fiftyseven is not a cute agent to have never fucked a dinosaur
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never thrilled a woman
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never held a woman
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never killed a woman
first demanding respect from, then being pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine
Animorphs, the most beautiful lie
coming off sounding a bit judgey
remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better
identifying strongly with homura akemi
anime, the most beautiful lie
anime has lied to you
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never kissed a woman
demanding respect from a machine
that you'd like to connect in an honest way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence
Poor old Kento, he's gagging on a hard one
Poor old Rachel, she's gagging for a hard one
that it's been suggested that you are the Kento Ikeda of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Chuck Cunningham of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Judy Winslow of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Poochie of the Regret Index
being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret
poor lung function
Pocahontas is at it again!
'Hobbits' probably barbecued minielephants on this Indonesian island
Jack Crusher
that everyone assumes you're a fag libido tool when in fact you're also a divorced swollen nit
that if you burp after eating cucumbers it tastes like watermelon
that everyone assumes you're a goofball idiot when in fact you're also inclined towards love
Operation Uranus's Pike
Operation Neptune's Spear
Geronimo's ninth and last wife was Azul
putting the Oasis in Jackie Ns
Jackie E I E I Onassis
Jack Atlas onanism
putting the Jackie O in O Ring Blow Out
Jack E Onanism
Jackie Onanism
that we joke about gay celebrities and shit all the time here, but in complete honesty you figure the chances that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen have never had sex are virtually nil
If you're an internationalist, you're gay
If you're gay, you're an internationalist
the image was among the first results returned in a Google search for "black family," and that the photograph was captured at the Midwest Black Family Reunion
ass stretch my pants
two hours' sleep
stretch pants my ass
Jackie O not being able to take the entirety of the Mr T branded "Gentle Giant" dildos you got her for Christmas
putting it in Jackie O's ass
putting the ass in Onassis in Jackie O's
free stretch pants inside
Jackie O's is a breakfast cereal which Lisa Simpson likes
The marriage brought her considerable adverse publicity, including talk of excommunication by the Roman Catholic church
V for Vladimir Putin
Portman still seems to believe that standing around with your mouth hanging open constitutes a performance
really looking forward to that Hobbit Potter movie
The DC Extended Universe
my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death
maybe her character died, I haven't seen it and I don't really give a fuck
wondering if Natalie Portman's Hollywood stock has fallen to the point where reprising her role in V for Vendetta II Colon Viva Rock Vegas for Vendetta would be out of the question
it's funny now but it's inevitable really
we're gonna get arrested, they'll shave our heads, and we're gonna have to make V for Vendetta II Colon TwoV, TwoVendetta
According to Julius Malick, the worker who submitted the lawsuit, they were given drinks containing uranium without medical supervision and without obtaining written consent or warning them about risks of side effects
we're gonna get arrested, they'll shave our heads, and we're gonna have to make rootbeer in the toilet
fatworld, where halvatarians are healthy eaters
drawing a picture of like three guys masturbating to the same disgusting mental image
imagining that at least half of all fatworld contributors would masturbate to that last regret
imagining that most "restaurants" in fatworld are just assembly lines in which the morbidly obese women are strapped in using heavy duty cables and a calorie dense slurry is piped down their throats, gavage style
wondering whether fatworld has restaurants or just feeding troughs lining the streets which double as open sewers
supersizing your California double cheeseburger meal after an especially long labor
California cheeseburgers are standard fare in nearly all fatworld restaurants
carlanetics
rebeccnetics
needing an epidural to cope with your child's girth
the miracle of girth
childgirth
almost typoing "girth" instead of "birth"
genuinely wondering how birth works in fatworld, because it seems like a lot of those women would be constantly surrounded by baby sized food items that they would shovel into their relentless maws without too much examination
having never seen a pregnant fat woman and wondering if there's something going on there
having never seen a pregnant gay woman and wondering if there's something going on there
having never seen a pregnant Asian woman and wondering if there's something going on there
tonguing Leighton Meester's shithole
touching Leighton Meester's shit, if you know what I mean
The Latest Colon Twink kissed in Alaska after possible bleaching, meow
The Latest Colon Bear killed in Alaska after possible mauling
Leighton Buzzard, Jedi Knight
Wii Play Colon Motion
Leighton Meester, Sith Lord
I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave
I learn to part with a smile on my face
bottoming for Shagger Sanders in It'll Do More Than Itch VII
United States Democratic Party takes back job offer after finding out candidate was a porn star
stealing that raptor's eggs from the communal laundry room
Its name is Latin for 'egg taker' or "egg seizer"
stealing raptor eggs
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his back to give a dumpster lick job
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his resume to give a dumpster lick job
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his resume to get a dumpster lick job
putting the man sacks in Goldman Sachs Japan
The code of ethics at Goldman Sachs Japan does not explicitly prohibit former porn stars from working at the firm
Goldman Sachs Japan takes back job offer after finding out candidate was a porn star
putting your lips in the glory hole and drinking it all up
putting the lime in the coconut and drinking it all up
putting the golf balls into the glory holes
ponies that only blow about eight times per season
Aloysia triphylla
Not surprisingly for a ruler nicknamed "the Sot", popular legend ascribed this determination to his love of Cypriot wines
putting the pony penis in your mouth
putting the golf balls into the golf holes
putting the deliberately disabled modems into the customers
putting the straight guy into another straight guy
putting the champagne in a shoe
putting the bra in the communal laundry room
putting the bop in the bop da bop da bop
putting the Oasis in Jurassic Paroasisk
putting the Oasis in Juroasisc Park
putting the ass in Oasis
indefinite uploads
your bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger!
Optimizing your large GIFs
Pokemon Donald Trump Quotes and Will Smith Lyrics
imgur's arbitrary file size limit preventing you from uploading assicpark dot gif, even though it would be converted into a webm, which imgur also won't let you upload
Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican, Black, White, Cuban, and Asian
putting the arse in Jurarseic Park, cheerio
A prisoner in West Virginia has been given the go ahead to sue state prison officials for surgically removing batteries which he had had implanted in his urethra
West Virginia is the new Florida
A prisoner in West Virginia has been given the go ahead to sue state prison officials for surgically removing marbles which he had had implanted in his penis
Pokemon Migration and Terrorism
There is no basis in fact for this point and it is a very serious, even alarmist, conflation of migration and terrorism
Rose Cavena Wakeman
butane in my veins
you're not so bad yourself
you're perfect, yes, it's true
Paul Abdul
drawing a picture of Master P peeing on Paul Abdul's scalp while MC Skat Kat takes a dump on her chest
Dances With Cats
Paula Abdul Danced on by Overexcited So You Think You Can Vomit Contestant
So You Think You Can Vomit On Paula Abdul
Czterej pancerni i dzieckiem
Paula Abdul Vomited on by Overexcited So You Think You Can Dance Contestant
Czterej pancerni i pies
fucking Oasis
putting the ass in Jurassic Park
how weird it seems to you that all the problems of Jurassic Park, from a violent dinosaur perspective, could have been solved if someone had dinosaur sex and the wit to fuck some goddamn dinosaurs, yet agent fiftyseven doesn't even have it
how weird it seems to you that all the problems of Jurassic Park, from a violent dinosaur perspective, could have been solved if someone had a laser pointer and the wit to blind some goddamn dinosaurs, yet Malcolm doesn't even have one
maybe it's the power trying to come back on
even deinowsawhers
Anusis
Anus and Anusability
aeries
a chemist and sniper who works for Bellwether
Oasis
a laid back Yak who is the owner of the naturist club Mystic Springs Oasis
Aries
Ares
Jim West doped apes
Jim West, dosed rape
wondering what Jim West, desperado's policy on damsels in bulletproof vests, enchiladas is
comments that don't come to their anuses
comments that don't come to their senses
drawing a picture of Woody Allen out eating feces for Soon Yi
drawing a picture of Will Smith out eating feces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding faces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding feces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding fences for so long
messing with Texas, then skipping town when Texas told you it was pregnant
comments that make no sense
writing a regret which you subsequently immediately regret
having impure thoughts about a hairless Natalie Portman
drawing a picture of Natalie Portman being shorn by Lana and Lilly Wachowski in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
the Lifting and Separation of Brest
Septic Girls, Eh
the Union of Brest
they travel in herds
shaving my head for this
drawing a picture of a group of heterosexual tearful Texans and Mel Gibson pulling down their sign after seeing Kento cross the border
drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border
building a wall around Fat Gay Asia
drawing a picture of a group of heterosexual tearful Texans pulling down their sign after seeing Kento cross the border
unexpected Mel Gibson cameos
imaginando signos en la frontera de Tejas leer "Bienvenido a Tejas! Uno de los lugares mas heterosexuales en la Tierra!"
drawing a picture of a heterosexual Texan eating Virginia ham while listening to the Dixie Chicks
imagining signs on the Texas border reading "Welcome to TEXAS! One of the most heterosexual places on Earth!"
a friend told me that
you don't have to be gay to like Dixie Chicks
Fairytale Colon A True Story
finding it odd that Texas, whose native population ranks among the most heterosexual in the world, would produce a group called the Dixie Chicks
Waffletastic Spice
The Mostly Salt With Some Occasional Sourness Girls
finding it odd that England, whose native cuisine ranks among the blandest in the world, would produce a group called the Spice Girls, guvna
The Spice Girls
CLINTON SEASON!
TRUMP SEASON!
Hillary Clinton once again criticized Mr Trump's conduct in the presidential race, saying "meep meep"
Mr Trump said, his supporters should keep up the claims of bias against the federal mouse in the case, Speedy Gonzalez, and accuse reporters of being "racists" for asking questions about the candidate's criticism, according to the report
Mr Trump said, his supporters should keep up the claims of bias against the federal judge in the case, Gonzalo P Curiel, and accuse reporters of being "racists" for asking questions about the candidate's criticism, according to the report
the second rape is coincidence
the first rape is the deepest
besalting a clam
befriending a ham
befriending a baby
I'm asking for a friend
wondering what the baby to ham exchange rate is
West Virginia couple accused of trying to sell baby for ham
the last slice of Virginia ham is the best that you can eat
bragging about selling your baby in West Virginia
Swan Princess Colon Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today
The third rape is the most mysterious
West Virginia couple accused of trying to sell baby for drugs
JEANLUC fainted!
EXLAX used EXPLOSION! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Snorlax evolves from Exlax at level seventeen with a Cosbystone
drawing a picture of Snorlax tearfully clicking the unsubscribe button on TaylorSwiftVEVO before snorting coke and wrapping his Lexus around an oak tree while on the way to the strip club
Pokemon Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident
Calvin Harris Returns to Las Vegas Clubs After Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident, Chins Bellhop
Calvin Harris Returns to Las Vegas Clubs After Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident
An image purporting to show a young woman who was beaten by people protesting a Donald Trump rally is actually a still from a Mexican telenovela
and I hope you like jamaharon too, Mister Data
guessing that jamaharon is basically a blumpkin
having cat with a toblerone glued to it sex with agent fifty seven
wanting to give Kento's beard a fluffer for his birthday
IT'S SAD WHEN YOU BRAG ABOUT YOUR PET STEGOSAURUS TO FRIENDS AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY FRIENDS AND YOU'VE GLUED A TOBLERONE TO THE CAT
the men of the Ninth Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun
using Taylor Swift's bathroom and noticing a pair of paddle rests
using Taylor Swift's bathroom and noticing a pair of stepladders
bottoming for Taylor Shaft in Bad Blood
shaving Taylor Swift's minute pussy but accidentally getting clam salt in a nick
putting your money on a small cat
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "mall scat"
my money is on a small cat
not being sure what is in the box marked "small cat"
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "tiny tiger"
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "small cat"
ruining Taylor Swift's sanitary napkin with an unsanitary razor blade
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "clam salt"
ruining your sanitary napkin with an unsanitary razor blade
ruining your sanitary napkin with an unsanitary knife and fork
marketing a line of bluetooth ready smart sanitary napkins called iPads
Trying to make my own Crunch, Trying to get Crunch, Eating Crunch, if you know what I mean
Trying to make my own Crunch, Trying to get Crunch, Eating Crunch
Sugawara alleged that after four years of purchasing the product she had only recently discovered to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly colored cereal balls
finding Nemo in bed with your girlfriend
putting salt on your girlfriend's crotch to see if her clam will lick it FINDING NEMO like in those gifs
wondering if YouTube would have a renaissance period after rebranding as YoloTube
putting salt on your girlfriend's crotch to see if her clam will lick it up like in those gifs
seeing a bearded clam riding a dick
seeing a naked chick riding a clam
milk, milk, chocolate milk, around the corner chocolate's made
drawing a picture of Count Chocula peeing on Cap'n Crunch's scalp while Tony the Tiger takes a dump on his chest
seriously considering crossing berry varieties to produce something which can legitimately be called "crunchberries", just to fuck with Cap'n Crunch and or posterity
The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, claimed she had purchased the cereal Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries because she believed "crunchberries" indicated she was eating real fruit
Gay Daddy Turd Ad, eh
Daddy Daughter Day
Upper Sandusky
looking her right in the eye, smiling as she smiles back and saying "I'll see you next week" in mouse voice
Canadian Soccer Viols, Eh
Canadian School Service
Canadian Slit Shavers
working for the CSS
shaving slits for gym, eh
topping for Will Smith in Anali
electroplating my pennies for this
shelving my legos for this
having my legos for this
shafting Ryan privately
the death of Muhammad Ali
I mean shit, if you want it to be a bicep it needs more veins
look at my African American over here
saving Private Ryan for this
shaving Candlejack for this fu
shaving my LEGUMES for this
fu
shaving my nuts for this
of
drawing a picture Taylor Davis Baker cheating on her husbands with John Astin
Taylor Swift, Warwick Davis, and Kenny Baker 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
even a BENT clock is gay twice a day
even a walking clock is FULLY FUNCTIONAL twice a day
even a straight clock is gay twice a day
shaving Taylor Swift's privates for this
shaving Taylor Swift's head for this
shaving Taylor Swift's legs for this
Kivas Fajo stole Lieutenant Commander Data to be used as a walking clock
we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time, honk honk
tasting so good you make a dead man cum
Kivas Fajo stole Lieutenant Commander Data to be used as a walking dildo
solving a problem like Maria
tasting so good you make a grown man cry
hoping Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill all die within a few days
Time to go on ebay and buy hidden cams
even a gay clock is straight twice a day
hoping Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill all die within a few days of one another so that you can use that "they DO move in herds!" line for like, a year afterwards
this is the most heterosexual day we've had in years
a Texas town is taking selfies over a statue that depicts two girls doing Myke Hawke
a Texas town is taking selfies over a statue that depicts two girls dividing Myke Hawke
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two girls taking Myke Hawke
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two midgets shaving Myke Hawke for a selfie
it's like you suggesting I won the Myke Harke waffle
it's like you suggesting I won the Myke Hawke raffle
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two girls taking a selfie
shaving Myke Hawke for this
it's like you suggesting I won the chook raffle
shaving my legs for this
By having all the men in the village shoot arrows into her body, the village men, embodiments of Morning Star, were symbolically mating with her
having a sudden craving for orange fudge
the Gilbert Gottfried Navel Orange Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Navel Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Naval Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Channel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Tunnel
the Gotthard FOURTH Base Tunnel
the Gotthard Base Tunnel
bottoming for Hillary Clinton in Capitol Knockers VII
A young girl from South Los Angeles tries to make it to the National Spelling Bee
capitol knockers
capital knockers, madam
seeing Red Tails and wanting to paint them black
Dallas ISD fifth grade boys are seeing Red Tails right now, but girls were excluded
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific RIOT of knockers
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific TRIO of knockers
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific pair of knockers
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
spooning Rosanna Arquette's Babs
all the Blake Edwards' in Springfield are SOB's
I want to fuck you like a Jedi, from a certain point of view
I want to funk you like a grand railroad
I want to yiff you like a human
I want to thread your bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis through my insides
I want to orally service you like an Ikeda
masturbating with your cut off thumb
The actor who played Ugly Naked Guy was Jon Haugen, who was picked from a group of extras
Scientists working in the Austrian Alps discover that a glacier is leaking a liquid that appears to be affecting local wildlife
an American series of children's computer animated films featuring anthropomorphic fruits and vegetables in stories conveying moral themes based on Christianity
I want to fuck you like REX HARRISON
I want to fuck you like a pushmepullyou
Jon Haugen
Luke's hand once again refuses to be turned and the Emperor's foot attacks him with the Force, causing Luke's hand to lose its thumb
Newton has become the "patron saint" of the International Anal Karate Petunia Kill Day
LEIBNIZ has become the "patron saint" of the annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day
deconstructed flat white
Newton has become the "patron saint" of the annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day
trying to see it my way, do I have to keep on talking 'till I can't go on
I'm not your gay buddy
after
we should probably discuss that
we're buddies still not knowing who the top is and who the bottom is in a blow job and not knowing any gays you are comfortable enough with to ask
we're buddies
still not knowing who the top is and who the bottom is in a blow job and not knowing any gays you are comfortable enough with to ask
you cannot deny that A equals anal
that when you say "A orally serviced B" it means that B put his penis in A's mouth, but when you say "A anally serviced B" it means that A put his penis in B's ass, at least according to your understanding of the terms
a group of unwanted vegetables, fruits, legumes and nuts who were swept to the corner of a shop but ran away together and set up home in and around an old, forgotten garden shed
the King of Fatworld Queens, starring a skeletal Kevin James and his hot three quarter ton wife
having never reached a consensus on whether men in fatworld are obese, normal, or whatever
wondering if Fatworld Mark Wahlberg used to go by Marquee Mark and the Funky Lunch
bull willies
this guy's original, he's got the juice
we're bullies
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since this morning
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
You won't be thrilled if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be held if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be kissed if you don't do anything wrong
Donald Trump makes no such promises
You won't be killed if you don't do anything wrong
Their gimmick was that they were two construction workers turned wrestlers who wore jeans to the ring, and that Kanyon would cause the team to suffer losses by taking measurements with his tape measure at inopportune times
lundi forte et dure
peine forte et dure
topping for Donald Rump in Make America Gay Again VII
Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
Donald Trump Pleasures Bikers at Rolling Thunder Rally
He liked them and promised to use them every day until he didn't
Nuddie Naked Lady Golf Tees
Wolfsdonger
Donald Trump and Bikers Share Affection at Rolling Thunder Rally
Scrotum pultibus praegravatus
there is general complaint that they are nowadays exposed more to kids than to dongness
there is general complaint that they are nowadays exposed more to dogs than to kindness
Wolfskinder
Marie Angelique Memmie Le Blanc
Scotorum pultibus praegravatus
it was reported that the goat had died, having choked on a plastic bag
The former chief executive of Zurich Insurance has killed himself, the company said, less than three years after its chief financial officer killed himself
now I can drink milk EVERY DAY
until now, this was the only way to get tortillas from dough
flatev
bottoming for Daniel Gay Lewis in There Will Be Blood, Like Seriously, Even If You're Into Rough Stuff There's Probably Going to Be Too Much Blood For Your Liking VII
Damn Daniel I Wish I Was Your Lover Day Lewis
Damn Daniel Day Lewis
Kento, Son of Go
the death of Harambe
bondacious bodage
bodage
having bodage, latex, and Wham! fetishes, jitterbug
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Polar Bears on the Northern Yukon River, Scientists Say
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Coral on the Northern Great Barrier Reef, If You Know What I Mean, Scientists Say
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Coral on the Northern Great Barrier Reef, Scientists Say
having a policy of not trusting anybody who cannot laugh like Muttley
the terrifying prospect of being governed by people who think life is like the Wacky Races and what some people need is a good boulder dropped on their heads to sort them out
All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy AND a dead girl and we are away
they cum for you
dead boys dead boys, what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they cum for you
dead boys are out of the question
All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy or a dead girl and we are away
ohhh
new offensive colin pokemon
seeing the headline "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon spokesman" and reading it as "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon pokemon"
livetweeting the death of tiny tiger
livetweeting the death of integrity
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
on the bright side, not having to choose between a homeless transsexual prostitute or a septuagenarian sado polyamorist blowhard and his team of WAM bondage sex walruses
don't even THINK about Jewel, she's mine
having to give up your bachelor ways and choose between Elly Astin, Rachel Stevens' arse, and Fatworld Natalie Portman
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam
it was good
I don't mind
fucking up an anagram and it looks like you cheated
wondering what kind of jackass interrupts their Sunday morning cunnilingus ritual to write anagrams
Myke Hawke the Marmalizer
cheating on an anagram
wondering whether a card which simply reads "You are my scanty clam, eh" would be a good idea
wishing that The Lobster were a documentary and you could be a pony or a walrus or something instead of having to worry about dating
wondering whether a card which simply reads "You are my last chance" would be a good idea
KFC at the Bat
Elon Musk the Marmalizer
struggling to ask out someone who is clearly into you but writing horrible things about ponies and dildos and poop and whatnot at the drop of a hat
drawing a picture of Dr Julius Hibbert blowing a pony
Darth Lickjob
giving Dr Hibbert a hot horse meat infusion
Darth Insanius
Darth Icky
Elon Musk, Jedi Knight
Dicky Mick the Marmalizer
Dicky Mint, Mick the Marmalizer, Stephen "Titch" Doyle, Little Evan, Hamish McDiddy, Nigel Ponsonby Smallpiece, Nicky Nugget, Sid Short and Smarty Arty
drawing a picture of P Diddy smoking French Stewart's cigarettes while Brent Spiner bakes him cakes
smoking his cigarettes and baking him cakes
way down yonder on the Chattahoochee It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie
drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on French Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
R Kelly, P Diddy and Kelly Rowland announce new supergroup, DPRK
R Kelly, P Diddy and Kelly Rowland announce new supergroup, P Kelly
Pokemon Clive and Elmo
raping Kurt Cobain in the butt when you were a kid
weakly muttering "I like your hair" instead of boldly declaring her prettier than ever
Depp insists that he intended no harm and was merely rehearsing for Tim Burton's upcoming creepy adaptation of Casey at the Bat
Johnny then grabbed the cellphone, wound up his arm like a baseball pitcher and threw the cellphone at me striking my cheek and eye with great force
Scooter devises a plan to fake his own kidnapping to get his parents' attention and enlists the help of two bumbling crooks, Clive and Elmo
giving the chariot to R Kelly and Tom Cruise
being trapped in TWO closets
Pokemon Scrotumburg and Anusville
The prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville
Raymond Robinson
DeVito voiced the Grundle King in My Little Pony Colon The Movie
bottoming for Brent R Penis in I, FULLY FUNCTIONAL Robot
drawing a picture of Brent Spiner shitting on Will Smith's chest
topping for Will Smith in I, FULLY FUNCTIONAL Robot
topping for Will Smith in Seven Pounds VII
topping for Will Smith in I, Robottom
topping for Will Smith in Bitch
topping for Will Smith in Handcock
topping for Will Smith in The Legend of Bugger Vance
topping for Will Smith in Asshurt Girth
topping for Will Smith in Where the Gay Takes You
topping for Will Smith in Intheanus Gay
topping for Will Smith in The Pursuit of a Penis
topping for Will Smith in The Legend of Teabagger Vance
Duchess of Cambridge to be Vogue cover star, guest editor of Skeletons and Skeletonnage Weekly
topping for Will Smith in The Dirty Prince of Cum Hair VII
Women in Black Thigh Highs
topping for Will Smith in In Black Men III
wondering when we're going to get the inevitable Women in Black reboot
Mermaid Island UK Vs The Plesiosaurs, Cheerio
Mermaid Island USA Vs The Plesiosaurs
Pokemon French and Patrick
Pokemon Brisket and Hotdogs
Pokemon Scavenged Tubers and Roadkill
I love Hispanics!
What happens is the judge, who happens to be, we believe, Mexican, which is great, I think that's fine
after the break, the amateur chefs take on the hosts in a Jamaican cooking contest we like to call "Jerk Myke Hawke Off"
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast French Stewart as a Patrickman
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Gayman
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Frenchman
after the break, the amateur chefs take on the hosts in a burger contest we like to call "Flip Myke Hawke Off"
they could make it into a reality show called Cook Myke Hawke Off
wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
wishing Myke Hawke were here
wishing Ruth England were here
wishing you were a walrus
wishing Chris Lydon were here
wishing Nerd Baby didn't want any more bears
wishing Matt were queer
wishing stoveOVEN were here
being stuck in the closet with you
wishing Kento were dead
wishing rachel were here
wishing agent fiftyseven were here
wishing Bicoid Babe were here
feature dancer Jared Fogel
featuring Jared Fogel
wanting to make Ezra a Stuffwich for his birthday
The Stuffwich ads featuring Ezra are a reference to the Subway ads featuring Jared Fogel
Thunder Butte
the Iron Confectionary
the Iron Confederacy
horribly degloving Sting
honorably fingering Sting
The sexual act of a man or woman putting thier entire head into a vagina
this is a Canada Cheeseburger, eh
honestly stinging, fuck
dishonestly fucking Sting
honestly fucking Sting
this is a California Cheeseburger
honestly, fuck Sting
this is a rat burger
you really licked his ass
loving D'C'Naaa
pitching Demolition Man II, a Galaxy Quest style story in which Sylvester Stallone has been frozen for making Judge Dredd, Sandra Bullock has been frozen for Speed II, and Wesley Snipes has been frozen for tax evasion and all those shitty movies he made
how much funnier Demolition Man's premise would be if the main character was a fictionalized version of Sylvester Stallone, placed in cryogenic suspension as punishment for making Judge Dredd
being trapped in the closet AS IT FALLS THROUGH THE ICE OF A FROZEN LAKE
being closet tit parped, eh
that Roman Polanski's girlfriend's tenth birthday is this Monday
being trapped in the water closet
that the regret index's tenth birthday is this Monday
being trapped in the closet
The factors that determine the hierarchy are based on the size of the tusks, the overall size of the walrus, and aggressive measures
O, Canada, your skin just came right off
degloving Canada
glove loving Canada
tiny white ranger tiger power
white rape regret grin, ow
white ranger tiger power
The Pentagon's Huge Atomic Floppies
wondering how putting on aftershave could POSSIBLY compensate for having diamondless shoes
Aaahh!!! Real Assholes
wanting to make Kento a real asshole for his birthday last year
wondering how the walrus order is determined, whether its by age, weight, length, girth, stamina, or what
bottoming for Mark Sniffer in Panty Raid at Google House VII
sniffing panties
genuinely enjoying a lot of the performances in Synchronicity, but enjoying Sting's most of all
A panty raid is underway at Google House
time travel made that guy a real asshole
genuinely enjoying a lot of the performances in Synchronicity, but enjoying Scott Poythress' most of all
really enjoying Scott Poythress' performance in Synchronicity
a Native American orgy
huffing CONCENTRATED INFRARED TEN
huffing disperse red nine
marking sniffers
sniffing markers
Pokemon Peeing and Pooing
Pokemon Spot, Livingston, and Worf's unnamed targ
Pokemon Spot, Bootbrush and Kaz
Spot, Bootbrush and Kaz open up about their community
tonight there's going to be a roofie, somewhere in this meal
A rape is underway at Cosby's
A raid is underway at Kento's
you'll with fear to bottom
jackdaws
I seriously don't know how that last regret came out like that, it doesn't even resemble what I had in my head
I'll with fear to bottom
I'm filled to the top with fear
Kentoculus Fissure
New York Today Colon Ahoy, Sailors!
dat boi!!!!
The East Texas woman who claimed President Obama was a drug addicted gay prostitute in his youth was defeated in a Republican primary runoff election Tuesday, losing her bid to become one of the top education officials in Texas
tonight there's going to be a gay old time, somewhere in the Boston Aquarium
tonight there's going to be a gay old time, somewhere in Bedrock
A raffle is underway at Google's
the death of Myke Kwouke
you put the lime in the finger cut, you drink 'em both together
cutting your finger and getting lime juice in the cat
cutting your finger and getting lime juice in the cut
Kento is the one in the middle!
Eric is the one in the middle!
"Luke, the ground here on Endor is too full of roots to dig and there's a lot of Vader's remains left to dispose of, an open fire isn't a great method of cremation," said Han "Let's take him down to the riverbank and bury him in the sandbank" replied Luke
tonight there's going to be a raid, somewhere in this internet
A raid is underway at Google's
the death of Burt Kwouk
'cause if my eyes don't deceive me, there's something going wrong around here
Kento's milkshake brings all the walruses to the water park, and they're like, "orf", damn right, "orf"
Melania Trump's frightening lips
assface depot, eh
Star Wars Colon Episode IX Colon The Sad Space Foe
the sad space foe
the ace of spades
googling Johnny Carson's sex tape in Reno just to watch him fuck
Johnny Sexcans
The Curious Sex Cans of Johnny Carson
that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher
taping Johnny Carson's sex can just because you google
you must have had to beat off a lot of American men to get this part
taping Johnny Carson's sex google just because you can
that one time that you masturbated so much you ended up with exertional rhabdomyolysis
googling Johnny Carson's sex tape just because you can
that one time that you drank so much you ended up with exertional rhabdomyolysis
rhabdomyolysis
Anal Lad on John
Joanna Holland
the restaurant owned by me, Chuck Norris, Johnny Carson's third wife, and the Russian Mafia
wanting to make Kento a meat pie for his birthday and then eat it
eating Kento's meat pie
meating Kento's pa
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in CHAOS
meating the pa
Northern of the Ehpes
eating the map
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order
being the pam
Porno of the Apes
Western of the Apes
Plantagenets of the Apes
Playboy of the Apes
wondering how many Planet of the Apes movies they will make before the apes are building their own smartphones and someone threatens to make a spin off sitcom about three loveless apes in the city and their kooky human servant
smelling sex and candy in the windowless van behind Steak n Shake
getting a dump job from Brent Spiner in the quarters behind Ten Forward
getting a lick job from Michelle Obama in the dumpster behind the White House
genuinely wondering why there isn't a Planet Rapes chain of theme restaurants, at the very least within popular theme parks, what are they thinking
the theory that Michelle Obama is a transvestite who murdered Joan Rivers
genuinely wondering why there isn't a Planet Apes chain of theme restaurants, at the very least within popular theme parks, what are they thinking
being the map
fuck, Daniel
Danieldore damns
singeing yourself singing happy birthday to you to a half blocked up tuyere
devil's own swans
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
damning the torpedoes, Daniel
yankee Daniel
damning Daniel if you do and damning Daniel if you don't
dentally damning Daniel
dentally damming Daniel
damming Daniel
damning Daniel
Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the windowless vans!
windowless vans
this is spinal kick
getting kicked in the NORTH
getting kicked in the penis
getting kicked in the THORN
getting kicked in the spine
it's just weird that there's all these apes in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes having a fight with police and nobody even tries the teargas
that's really racist
the Planet of the Apes scenario being completely avoidable so long as police forces have access to teargas
PGThirteen Violence of the Planet of the Apes
Cheap Reused Footage of the Planet of the Apes
Gollum of the Planet of the Apes
Tron of the Planet of the Apes
arresting her left one until she had a California bathroom waffle
Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre
you don't know that
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Carrie Fisher's dog Gary Fisher
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jaimee Foxworth's child Crave Foxworth
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jamie Foxx's child Redd Foxx
Biblical Baby Mamas
RIP Will Smith
LIVING Will Smith is now older than James Avery was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Will Smith is now older than James Avery was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Pokemon Stunningly Self Important But Numbingly Empty Cocktail of Romance and Insulting Refugee Porn
Penn threatened to tie his critics to a chair and subject them to hours of degrading sexual torture, just like he did to his then wife Madonna
stunningly self important but numbingly empty cocktail of romance and insulting refugee porn
Polly Wog Stew
Colon Rep Foxx Geldof, Jedi Knight
Colon Rep Foxx
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jamie Foxx's child Colon Rep
seriously considering moving to France and starting a tour guide business under the name Benjamin Buttocks but knowing Brexit would immediately happen if you did
there's always room for batteries
every now and then falling apart
Bill Cosby's three sexual batteries
ironically sleeping through a period of broken 'dex on a night that doesn't matter but being awake all the next night for no good reason at all when it does matter
Playboy's Hugh Hefner deposed in Bill Cosby's sexual battery lawsuit, lawyer says
that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more
pee, Earl Gay, hot
Star Trek Colon The Next Lemon Party
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
make it so
referring to your hair as your scalp beard because you're secretly gay for bald
referring to your hair as your scalp beard
the death of Alan Young, I'll chin ye, cheerio, eh, I'm walkin' here
descf cgffee
drinking decsf on a largely empty stomach
your body is a Doggerland
the death of Alan Young
drawing a picture of Oscar Wilde bottoming for Palmer Luckey in Oculus Fissure VII
Kickstarting Palmer Luckey a California Cheeseburger for his birthday
omnivorous curiosity
Palmer Luckey
having literally never encountered or even heard of suspected traditional Anglo American salad, Ham Salad
NOAH Salad
Ham Salad
reporting a dangerous overloaded octopus connection in sector five
HARDWARE WARS
Icarus II Colon II Close II Curious
winning a Guinness World Record for the most dicks sucked in one minute with eight dicks
Kento going down on like eight guys
never knowing that Australian men were so attached to cupcakes
A bake sale intended to raise awareness of the gender pay gap has sparked outrage on an Australian university campus, with discounted cupcakes for women and other marginalised groups prompting claims of discrimination, threats of rape and violence, crikey
Kento going down for eight lick jobs
Kento going down for like eight hours
we'll poo nil
Colon The Lionhearted
the regret index going down for like eight hours
psychosocial dwarfs
kind of dynamically hosting Gene Hunt, that magnificent connection protocol
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that goddamn disabled bastard
that apparently it takes a world class Bra Thief about eight and a half seconds to steal a bra
don't be fooled by the countless other phony Star Trek Colon The Lionhearted wikis out there, this is the OFFICIAL one
This is the official wiki page for the Star Trek FanFic Star Trek Colon The Lionhearted
wanting to make Kento a barnacle courier fish for his birthday, gee
wanting to make Kento a California Cheeseburger for his birthday
seven bras for seven sisters
winning a Guinness World Record for the most bras taken from the communal laundry room in one minute with seven bras
winning a Guinness World Record for the most bras taken off and put on in one minute with seven bras
The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed your body is a Disneyland
The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed
your body is a Disneyland
I CAN KAPUT WE!
WE MAKE UP!
pie smog
After his meeting with Giuseppe, Jackson considered purchasing equity in the chain and launching his own line of Fitty Cent branded pizza
waking up inside, if you know what I mean
I CAN'T WAKE UP!
WAKE ME UP!
some pig
After his meeting with Motsepe, Jackson considered purchasing equity in the mine and launching his own line of Fitty Cent branded platinum
New York City dexy's midnight runners gayally drink the water in Mexico
New York City police Asianally shoot swan in Swanhattan
Hattan
New York City police fatally shoot man in Manhattan
wondering whether Dirk Benedict is really a Poo Cork Jets supporter
Dick Braidydick
wondering whether Dirk Benedict is really a Manfister City supporter
wondering whether Dirk Benedict is really a Manchester City supporter
spending an evening briefing Bernie Sanders, reading the New York Times, and masturbating to photos of Donald Trump from five years ago
briefing Colon Bernie Sanders for an entire evening
Your Evening Briefing Colon Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Boko Haram
the death of Mary Anne Alfriend Noland
Jenna Starborn
people who say 'elf' instead of 'puck'
becoming a wikimedia foundation paparazzi
temporarily thinking that Ernie Hudson's character in Ghostbusters was named Leeroy Jenkins
Gouis Tully
Swanine Maulitz
Winswan Peckkmore
Beakon Swangler
Rage Swantz
Biter Venkswan
Ghost Bustards
Hamburger Cliff
Steak Woody
NORM
Steak Norm
Steak Carla
I'm not going to smile today, I'm not gonna laugh
seriously wondering why they replaced Steak Diane with Steak Rebecca
wondering how many sacks of rice an Ecuadorian peasant family gets to sell their ambiguously aged daughter into pseudo sexual slavery to satisfy the rape fantasies of a creepy white haired Australian internet celebrity
They fell in love with the open faced sandwich they had in Manhattan and brought it back to their cafeteria as the "Beef Manhattan"
Steak Rebecca
Steak Diane
wondering how many times a week Carlos Abad Ortiz sighs in his office as the sound of rape porn drifts down through the ceiling
Fillet of Beef Prince Albert
Roman likes 'em bald
drawing a picture of Roman Polanski and Julian Assange masturbating for each other on skype while watching The Accused while a bald eagle superimposed over an American flag sheds a single tear in the background
the way Julian Assange has come to represent the hopes and dreams of a generation by living in one tiny room rent free with internet access and a huge social media presence and never going outside
Wikileaks, the online watersports archive that anyone can enter people who 'fist' instead of 'fuck'
Wikileaks, the online watersports archive that anyone can enter
people who 'fist' instead of 'fuck'
people who say 'fist' instead of 'fuck'
drawing a picture of Cicely Tyson mooning on a rainbow shawl
American Horror Story Colon Coven
always thinking of Cicely Tyson whenever anybody mentions Cathy Tyson which is not a very impressive statement considering you've only ever heard anyone mention Cathy Tyson once, in that regret
A Texas school district says no one will face punishment after video surfaced of high school students using a cat's intestines as a jump rope during a lesson
always thinking of Cathy Tyson whenever anybody mentions Angela Bassett
The decision came six decades after the United States Supreme Court declared in Brown v Board of Education that "separate but equal has no place" in public schools
S M A T
'I'm Not Only a Beauty, I'm Smart'
that if he had made this picture portraying the banker, he would have shown this individual to have been following the rules as laid down by the State Bank Examiners in connection with making loans
in his opinion, this picture deliberately maligned the upper class, attempting to show the people who had money were mean and despicable characters
eating a straight guy into being another straight guy
spending all your anal prints at once
squandering your resistance for a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises
They are draining life's blood from us, and expecting us to play by their silly rules
Many of the shaven headed extras seen in the film were recruited from the nearby addiction recovery program Synanon
'people' who 'Eiffel Tower' instead of 'fuck'
'people' who 'yiff' instead of 'fuck'
people who 'yiff' instead of 'fuck'
an intact fence and nothing more than
people who 'eff' instead of 'fuck'
Chris Dubya Lydon
disinterring George Lucas's corspe and fucking his wrist stump in order to violate him like he violated young boys
Your Evening Briefing Colon Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Penis Transplant
The Ballad of Raping Gaol
The Penis of Dorian Gray
rapamycin, which improved the heart health and appeared to delay the onset of some diseases in older directors
rapamycin, which improved the heart health and appeared to delay the onset of some diseases in older mice
A mock graveyard could be created in an attempt to stop visitors taking ghoulish pictures in a burial ground at a seaside town
dear nothing, I wish nobody liked me
a manuscript that claims M of Anjou was descended from a swan
The Spent Anal Prints of Bel Air
Man Receives First Spent Anal Prints in the United States
Man Receives First Spinal Tap 'n' Stern in the United States
Man Receives First Nan Span Lerp Tits in the United States
Man Receives First Penis Transplant in the United States
Susan Sarandon Rips Woody Allen New Colon "He Sexually Assaulted a Child"
jerking off with a Krusty semen stained sock up your Bart
they met a young girl with an attitude named Bernice, who had been on the Spruce Goose tour with her mom before getting lost herself
South Yorkshire Police Colon Orgreave and Hillsborough officers linked
Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump
the asshole formerly known as Reince Priebus
sex with Donald Trump may be "terrible" but it would be "pretty quick"
Nuclear war between Japan and North Korea may be "terrible" but it would be "pretty quick"
Roman Polanski Rips Samantha Geimer Colon "He Sexually Assaulted a Child"
Susan Sarandon Rips Woody Allen Colon "He Sexually Assaulted a Child"
jerking off with a Krusty semen stained sock up your butt
Woman bitten by shark admitted to hospital with shark still attached to arm
dear something, I wish someone liked me
Dear everything, I wish anyone liked me
niece pubis err
Brunei recipes
unprecise brie
Reince Priebus
Twin Boob Jobs #Two
Twin Big Jobs #Two
night showers deserve a quiet night
night showers
somethingawul
American Wholesalers Underwriting, Ltd
Penny Arcade is fucking awul
mooning dickwolves
mooning Dick Wolf
being called after a famous Harvey
Chyna formerly called herself "Cream" but later named herself "Blac Chyna" after she met a client at the strip club she worked at who called himself Black China because he was buried under a big T
Dick Wolf Moon
thinking dickwolves were just an internet thing
Dick Wolf, Master of the Prime Time Franchise, Leads NBC's Comeback
bottoming for Jim Sock in Crusty Sock Up Your Butt VII
Chyna formerly called herself "Cream" but later named herself "Blac Chyna" after she met a client at the strip club she worked at who called himself Black China because he was a black guy with Chinese looking eyes
jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt
drawing a picture of yourself bottoming for Jack Sock in Top Drawer VII
drawing a picture of yourself topping for Jack Sock in Bottom Drawer VII
getting TWO jobs as a Kento buggerer
Hillary Clinton supporter Wendell Pierce was detained by Atlanta police early Sunday after an alleged assault on two Sanders supporters
Kentoback ribs
stealing that man's bra from the busby laundry room
putting a nickle in the telephone, dialling your busby bra men
putting a nickle in the telephone, dialling your baby's number
As an Olympic gymnast who was to be ranked meat for the world games, Jim underwent an experimental treatment to make himself bounce like rubber along with his gymnast girlfriend Hillary Landon
As an Olympic gymnast who was to be ranked first for the world games, Jim underwent an experimental treatment to make himself bounce like rubber along with his gymnast girlfriend Hillary Landon
hanging, drawing, and quarter pounding Kento
quarter pounding Kento
How Kento Got His Rut Back
"You like your candy, " he told an overweight Asian man being Eiffel Towered by an elderly podcaster and a walrus
"You like your teen spirit," he told a headless female grunge rocker who oversaw the construction of his headquarters in Midtown Manhattan
"You like your sex," he told a pregnant female executive who oversaw the construction of his headquarters in Midtown Manhattan
"You like your candy," he told an overweight female executive who oversaw the construction of his headquarters in Midtown Manhattan
Donald Trump's Daughter Ivanka Says Presumptive GOP Nominee Is 'Evil Loathed Aspect'
Donald Trump's Daughter Ivanka Says Presumptive GOP Nominee Has 'Elevated Politics'
bottoming for Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln Logs VII
In a legislative session held in an Illinois church, he sought to deny his opponents a quorum by jumping out of a window getting a lick job at Fur Burger
In a legislative session held in an Illinois church, he sought to deny his opponents a quorum by jumping out of a window
getting a lick job at Fur Burger
getting a lick job at Kento Burger
getting a job at Kento Burger
the big breasteola scandal in the fifties when the record companies gave busty hookers to radio stations to get airplay for their songs
wanting to make Kento breasteola for his birthday
swallowing an entire pig to make poork
drying roast beef off of your own breasts to make breasteola
crushing tomatoes in your vagina to make pessata
wanting to give Kento a deep cycle marine battery for his birthday
everything has cilantro on it
no one reads
the people are all phonies
the air is green and there's no sign of civilization whatsoever
everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other
this gang of ten year olds with guns
Buggering Kento suspect found stuck in his anus
Kettering burglary suspect found stuck in a window
Katy Perry, poet laureate of the YouTube commentators
you're so gay you probably think this song is about you
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf while jacking off listening to Mozart, you bitch and moan about LA wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
Little Baby's Ice Cream "This is a Special Time"
Roman Polanski's CSI Colon Oakland
internal affairs and criminal investigations are underway focusing on several Oakland police officers who allegedly had sex with an underage girl
stealing that boy's bra from Kento's laundry room
Your potential regret of stealing that boy's bra from Kento's laundry room has already been added!
stealing that girl's beer straw from the communal fridge
wearing padded bras sucking beer through straws
sound of the walrus, woo woo woo
Walrus with a Gun, this summer on FOX
it's hard to grasp
wondering why anyone would pay sixty five million$ for George Zimmerman's gun when you could buy over four thousand solid gold dildos with that money
Mystical Sheep #Two
riding in Twin Long Rods #Two's chariot
getting a prostate exam and a gynaecological exam from Twin Long Rods #Two
I don't want it to be secret but I do want the audit to get finished
drawing a picture of Ronald Reagan hiding from the possibly imaginary bears under his bed
getting a prostate exam from Captain Hook
getting a gynaecological exam from Peer Gynt
Gwyneth Paltrow Goops On Gold Dildo, Lels
Gwyneth Paltrow Sells Goop On Gold Dildo
your penis getting sensitive when you have your teeth snapped out of your jaw by Sexy Tooth Fairy Rachel Stevens' inhumanly strong fingers
Comic Book Steve Harwell
finding it ever more difficult to believe that you ever found Gwyneth Paltrow attractive
oxalis tuberosa
your penis getting sensitive when you have your gums gnawed
Congress Rips TSA for Long Lines, Abuse, 'Smurfing' Bonus Practices
Gwyneth Paltrow Sells Gold Dildo On Goop
Comic Book Guy Fieri
once again pointing out that you have very little ability to discern whether others might be your children
always mentally reading the phrase "once again" in the voice of Comic Book Guy
once again pointing out that you have very little ability to discern the age of others
bear whistle campaigning
Since no one can really be sure who's right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the bear, IF THERE IS A BEAR
those creepy Russian models who look like they're ten but are probably like forty
The Russian Twink is a widespread symbol for Russia, used in cartoons, articles and dramatic plays since as early as the XVIth century, and relating alike to Tsarist Russia, the Soviet Union, the present day Russian Federation, and dumpster lick jobs
The Russian Bear is a widespread symbol for Russia, used in cartoons, articles and dramatic plays since as early as the XVIth century, and relating alike to Tsarist Russia, the Soviet Union, the present day Russian Federation, and shitting in the woods
Russian Insider Says State Run Doping Fueled Olympic Gold, Bears Shit in Woods
taking the fourflushest percy
Percy Fourflusher
now remember, your name is Speedy Raynes
Ray's father, known by the nickname Speedy, passed a bad check in Alton, Illinois, then moved to Ewing, Missouri, where the family had to change their name to Raynes to avoid law enforcement
being the dumbest fucking guy, seriously, this dumb fucking guy that you are, what a dummy
only for a moment and the moment's gone
your gums getting sensitive when he weds your pony vagina, Sue
your gums getting sensitive when you have your penis wanged
intensifying rawer Drew poo riff
intensifying friar powered Worf
intensifying forward firepower
corner masturbating to The Art of the Deal
penning gnaw marks
marking Gnaw's penis
Walrus of Walrus Street, from the creators of Downton Abbey and the stars of Sherlock and Peaky Blinders
A senior Barclays walrus accused of rigging the Eiffel rate whacked his half chinease assistant on the head with a baculum during Walrus of Walrus Street style antics in the trading room, a court heard
it should have been called Walrus of Wall Street
A senior Barclays banker accused of rigging the Libor rate whacked his partially deaf assistant on the head with a bat during Wolf of Wall Street style antics in the trading room, a court heard
Elmo want infant rape cry!
getting fit with a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
wondering if Mark were the regrettor who was getting married like three years ago
gnawing Mark's penis
Elmo want party in france!
HULK WANT PARTY IN FRANCE
you want party in france
you want fit cranny rape, you better work bitch
fit cranny rape
discovering that "party in france" is an anagram of "infant rape cry" but having the sense to not write it
party in france
naming your dilma Daughter
naming your daughter Dilma
drawing a picture of Carl Weathers and John Astin Eiffel Towering Elly Jackson in her scanties while George Zimmerman sits in the corner masturbating to The Art of the Deal
starring Carl Weathers, coming twenty seventeen
Astin Jackson Sixty Nine
Trump Zimmerman Sixteen
Skilly Williams dying at sixty nine
After playing for Leavesden Mental Hospital's football team, as well as for Hertfordshire, Williams joined Watford as an amateur
PIKACHU used STAND YOUR GROUND!
Pokemon It's Time to Move Past the Firearm, and If I Sell It an It Sells, and I Move Past It
it's time to move past the firearm, and if I sell it and it sells, and I move past it
girth, not height
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling half chinease officials 'long haired'
feeling like mutant ninja turtles wouldn't be that impressive if they were only ten inches tall
flapping Jewel's inches
flapped inches
NOBODY expects the anal inquisition!
chafed nipples
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'fat and gay'
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots'
chasing time from hour to hour
Anal has certainly featured in the best sex I've ever had and it's always been a surprise
smelling melons
assuming Donald Trump will deny that there's Irish terrorism later in the year when he's trying to get the Irish American vote
The threat level from Northern Ireland related terrorism in Great Britain has gone up from moderate to substantial
assuming he denies that there's Islamic terrorism
A YOUNG man has been involved in a horrifying accident in which his scrotum became entangled in a handheld electrical grinder at the YMCA
Vice President Joe Biden said in an interview that aired Wednesday he would have been the "best president" had he run for the highest office in the land
Tinkywinky ejaculated into Thomas then thomas let out a load of black smoke
raiding Missouri homesteads
evanesco taxiosa
gaslighting sack of shit wizard
not really minding, well, minding but being resigned about, the tax dodges of the rich and famous, but being particularly offended to hear the nonsense that a company in a tax haven offers no tax breaks to the owner in their normal country of residence
Emma, like many high profile individuals, set up an offshore company for the sole purpose of protecting her anonymity and safety, the tax breaks are just a bonus
The teletubbies are attending bob the builder's swingers party enjoy the graphic intercourse between po X Winnie the poo, tinkywinky X Thomas the tank, dipsy X Dora the explorer, nue nue X milo from the tweenies and lala X bob the builder X bob's wife Wen
Anthony, Dipsy, Arielle, Bullwhip
faggot faggot, faggot faggot, faggot faggot, bite my butt
Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'rude'
A YOUNG man has been involved in a horrifying accident in which his scrotum became entangled in a handheld electrical grinder
He went on to say that what he really liked was he "liked to hug and kiss ya"
He went on to say that what he really needed was an "anti Viagra, something with the opposite effect"
He has scaly skin like a lizard, hypnotic eyes and an enormous penis
Francis Ford Scrofula
getting diamonds on the soles of your shoes
starring as an uncircumcised thug in Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
starring as an uncredited thug in Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
starring as an uncredited thug in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Bryan Ray Trout
William Johnson, who chairs the white nationalist American Freedom Party, told TIME on Tuesday that he regretted applying to be one of Trump's pledged delegates after the campaign said he was only named due to a technical error
Tobey Maguire, Skeet Ulrich, and Jewel depicts Jayhawkers raiding Missouri homesteads
being at loggerheads
Jayhawkers
Budweiser renames beer 'America' this summer
the digestive problems of the elderly are their cross to bear
owned rump stuffed with gay
clam stuffed with cumchowder
yam stuffed with gunpowder
splitternacktback
zweiback
Among the grandfathers in this garden of demise honorably overseeing its subjects, reign the monarch family of disguised death art for fuck's sake
Among the grandfathers in this garden of demise honorably overseeing its subjects, reign the monarch family of disguised death
art for fuck's sake
A Tokyo court ruled Monday that vagina shaped objects created by a Japanese artist qualify as art, but found her guilty of obscenity for distributing digital data that could be used to make a three dimensional recreation of her genitalia
walrused dot com
the ruthless Imp Lube Pie Job Clan
blacked dot com
Hillary Earns The Black Vote
the ruthless Footjob Clan, led by the notorious Spreader
cum poetry
Dome Canada! Our Dome and Native land!
Tiny hairlike bones are not an issue and do not need to be removed
the Canadome, eh
the Canadome
Donald Trump promises to "bring imp lube pie jobs back to America" and "build a dome around Canada"
drawing a picture of Donald Trump eating a pie labelled "imp lube, eh", choking as he feels his throat close up while he tries to hold back the tears
Adam Driver stars as a bus driver cum poet
drawing a picture of Donald Trump eating a pie labelled "humble pie", choking as he feels his throat close up while he tries to hold back the tears
"I don't mind letting Muslims in this country as long as they are the ranking politician of a city with a population of at least five million people," Trump elaborated
Donald Trump Says New London Mayor Could Be Exception to His Ban on Muslims
all dogs go to heaven, peanut butter something something
good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere
imagining that when someone's body is whisked off to heaven, any artificial parts are going to be Left Behind, so there will be random metal plates and puddles of breast implants scattered around
imagining the social embarrassment in a post Rapture medical institution where everybody by definition is a sinner, and you have to go in for dialysis because your transplanted kidneys were holier than thou
wondering what the Rapture's policy on implants and transplants is, like are there going to be a bunch of people whose organs get raptured and will there be silicone or saline in the afterworld
your implants rapturing
feeling like you get dumber every time you read a Durst Asia, Yo headline
feeling like you get kosher every time you read a Shalom Life headline
feeling like you get dumber every time you read a Russia Today headline
producing ti
Peebop and Cocksteady
well I guess that makes sense
also starring in it
producing it
she's producing ti
that apparently there's already a porn star named April O'Neil
wondering if Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles revolves around the turtles mostly just banging their April O'Neil simulacrum or if they also like bang Sexy Krang or Busty Rocksteady
your implants rupturing
speaking words of wisdom, let it eat
Excellent Horse Like Lady is a great song but I don't want to hear it when I eat
Entities linked to Kim Jong un's pariah state run an expanding empire of restaurants abroad, complete with singing and dancing waitresses in traditional dress
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on Monday backtracked on his remarks about raising taxes on wealthy Americans, saying the rich might simply get a smaller tax cut than he originally proposed
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles injuring Patty Duke
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles not going all the way
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
injuring Patty Duke
engorging Patty Duke
excreting Patty Duke
enduring Patty Duke
embalming Patty Duke
enslaving Patty Duke
entrapping Patty Duke
Evelyn Waugh to End All Evelyn Waugh
Evelyn Waugh IV
Evelyn Waugh III
Evelyn Waugh II
Evelyn Waugh I
entering Patty ARCHDUKE
we going straight to the wild wild West
'Normal' Life
entering Patty Duke
Kim Kardashian West Says She Would Be a Desperado in Another 'Normal' Life
drawing a picture of Kento sticking his whole fist in his father and waving to Chris Lydon
not even remembering Patty Duke dying at sixty nine even though it was like a month ago
Kim Kardashian West Says She Would Be a Forensic Investigator in Another 'Normal' Life
identical cousins
Starship II Colon Rendezvous with Ramses
enjoying Patty Duke
she's a very talented young lady
enjoying Elly Jackson
enjoying pretty much most things you've seen John Astin in
if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it
drawing a picture of Kento sticking his whole fist in his mouth and waving to Chris Lydon
drawing a picture of Kento Ikeda muttering "I like Rough Sex Mondays" over his ruined asshole
drawing a picture of Kento Ikeda muttering "I don't like Rough Sex Mondays" over his ruined asshole
drawing a picture of Bob Geldof muttering "I don't like Mondays" over his ruined lasagne
Garfield references are cool
drawing a picture of Kento getting dicked by Dick Van Dyke and a dyke with a van dyke and dick in a van
Kento "Dick Van Dyke" Ikeda
not being able to tell if that's an actual Garfield reference or just a weird coincidence
total eclipse
half moon
full moon
Thom Yorke's moon shaped poo
making a lasagne and forgetting to put the cheese on until the final layer, and by the way, fuck mondays
Kento "Dick Dick Dick" Ikeda
Kento "Ick Ick Ick" Ikeda
playing Minecraft with Hayden Christensen
bottoming for Emma Watson in Box of Sand VII
having a body that just won't start
John "Lad Lad Lad" Astin
pictures of John Astin in his scanties
having a body that won't quit jutting
having a body that has quit repeatedly
having a body that just won't quit
Collingwood Art Guys
Hayden Crustysock
accidentally mailing your crusty socks to Hayden Christensen and your box of sand to Emma Watson
Emma Watson Wears Dress Made Of Crusty Socks To Met Gala
Emma Watson Wears Dress Made Of Trash To Met Gala
Carrmouche Art Dolls
spooing Demi Moore's boo
teasing John Finer
refastening John I
spooning John Astin's boobs
Collingwood Art Dolls
I would bang John Astin if I were not in a relationship
wondering if, given the choice and knowing he might easily have the same choice any other night of his life, Colin Farrell would rather on occasion date and sleep with John Astin than Jewel
masturbating into a peculiarly crusty sock over magazines full of pictures of John Astin in his scanties
impregnating John Astin
being sort of reassured that, at roughly the same age as you, Colin Farrell was much fatter, but then remembering that Colin Farrell already has children, bangs a lot of models, and is worth thirty million dollars
freeing John Astin
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator
fat cud
cat fud
reading the headline "Hide and seek boy, four, burnt to death in tumble dryer while his mother slept off a hangover" and suddenly wishing you never brought this up
The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good
if you think it's smart to climb in the dryer you're really all went
A lobster is a New England term for a girl who most likely has a pretty face, nice torso but from the waist down carries an ass the size of a small planet
wanting to actually look up mid nineties tumble dryer fatality stastistics just to see if it really was worth making a whole Sonic Sez video to teach kids their danger
he's her lobster
The Lobster
Josephine Gillan
maybe Jaimee Foxworth
nah, she's okay right now, she's doing good things in her personal life
Gabrielle Carmouche needs work
guessing that the porn parody of Open Windows would probably cast a mainstream actress in the lead role
wondering if there is a porn parody of Open Windows, perhaps with a scat theme, with a potentially more satisfying conclusion
taking film recommendations from imgur galleries
Gen X Robert Phelps
Boomer Robert Phelps
the Mandela hyphen Astin Effect
John Timothy Powering
the Immortal John Astin
thinking that John Astin was dead when he was in Eerie, Indiana, and then several times after that
honestly thinking that John Astin was dead
John Astining
John Timothy Power
cast
having sex with a guy who looks a lot like John Astin
imagining how magical The Lord of the Rings would have been if they'd John Astin as Sam
if you'd said John Astin
thanks awfully but no, no thanks
no thanks
Watch All of Sasha Grey's Films For a Chance to Receive Double Anal From Elijah Wood and Sean Astin!
Pokemon Submission Wrestling and Listening to Baltic Gypsy Rock
When Henry is not working or studying, he devotes all his time to submission wrestling and listening to Baltic gypsy rock
trying to watch Open Windows but thinking you might turn it off because you've never seen a Sasha Grey film before and you're not really in the mood for double anal
throwing up contentiously in the shower
throwing shapes continuously in the shower
throwing shade continuously in the shower
throwing up continuously in the shower
Janet Jackson rhythm method
Myke Hawke blowing a pony
a beautiful summer's day
being too sexy for Myke Hawke
Myke Hawke tearing up
Myke Hawke nipping at your toes
Jack Sock nipping at your toes
kombucha
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the semen into a sock trope
magazines full of pictures of Emma Watson according to their mums
that you are by no means either a neat freak or a germophobe, but the very notion of a jack sock just makes you want to take a shower, throw up, then take another shower
quite a large sock
he needs a sock to hide his modesty
Meaty the Cock Elf
Socky the Wank Elf
She warns him that she bees danger in the form of a dog, so he takes Vetty's small sea set and sticks a pin in it
Fans are trying to free Dobby the house elf by leaving curiously crusty socks for him down the side of their beds with their magazines full of pictures of Emma Watson according to their mums
Fans are trying to free Dobby the house elf by leaving socks for him at the Harry Potter studio tour
shows bragging about pony blowing
She warns him that she sees danger in the form of a dog, so he takes Vasey's small pet and sticks it in a butt
getting my youranimals IMPLANTED
getting your implants removed
spurious precision
She warns him that she sees danger in the form of a kid, so he takes Betty's small child and sticks it in a vase
She warns him that she sees danger in the form of a dog, so he takes Betty's small pet and sticks it in a vase
a wider gut raping policy
a wider rut gaping policy
writing a dug rape policy, poodoo
writing a dug rape policy
baristas are not your friends
he has lots of black friends
the evil galactic Emperor demonstrating considerable restraint by not referring to Darth Vader as his "black friend"
that would make anybody grimace
he's closed anal grit
he's allergic to sand
a hideously unsexy Sith
a hideously unsexy shit
a hideously unsexy shirt
you're going to fake it tonight now
that saying you're too sexy for your shirt just implies that you're out of your mind from all the poppers
that saying you're too sexy for your shirt just implies that you have a hideously unsexy shirt
Pokemon Right Said Fred and Dexy's Midnight Runners
eating a model, if you know what I mean
eating a model
being a diorama
being a figurine
being a model, if you know what I mean
being a model
thinking you were so sexy it hurts, but then coming down and realizing you were being soddomized in Jack Nicholson's hot tub
remembering as a young kid being warned off an entertainment career, but not being able to tell whether this was simple prejudice or based on direct knowledge, either of which are possible
actually wondering what percentage of child stars and wannabe child stars are sexually abused by the Roman Polanskis and Jimmy Saviles of the world
Pokemon Bonnie and Clyde and Gabrielle Carmouche and Joey Cramer
wanting to remake Bonnie and Clyde with Gabrielle Carmouche and Joey Cramer
there but for the grace of God go I
Let he who has never been fucked in the ass by two black guys at the same time cast the first stone
She has been through some rough anal scenes like many childhood stars and is doing good things in her personal life
guessing that if the first page of google results for your name contains more than one video of you getting double penetrated, saying that you went through some "rough times" is probably insufficient
She has been through some rough times like many childhood stars and is doing good things in her personal life
being too sexy for green eggs and ham, you will not eat them Sam I Am
being too sexy for your cat
being too sexy for your hat
the littlest bum taking the hugest dump
the littlest bum
the littlest tramp
When you get so drunk you puke in the girl's box while eating her popcorn and you're banned from the theatre
World Uphill Gardening Day
retirony
World Naked Gardening Day
not realizing vagabond nomenclature was so complicated
Unlike a "tramp", who works only when forced to, and a "bum," who does not work at all, a "hobo" is a traveling worker
being too sexy for your car
When you get so drunk you puke in the girl's box while eating her out
Trump celebrates Cinco de Mayo with taco bowl from his tower
life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer, eh, and his life would be simple except for raccoon tit rape
raccoon tit tape
Bank of the Navigator
bank of Flight of the Navigator star charged with daylight robbery
Flight of the Navigator star charged with bank robbery
thinking "damn, David's mom, who dat" but then it's Lambert out of Alien, which you kind of remembered
wondering which is less believable, superluminal travel or dog frisby championships as depicted in Flight of the Navigator
Lita Grey
lots of screamy weather
Bentley Rhythm Method
Iran RHYTHM METHOD
Deleriyes Joe Cramer
that if you'd had any interest in football like six months ago, and two hundred and fifty pounds, you could have bet it all on one outsider to win a football league and become a millionaire
I have to say that knowing the gruelling nature of the primaries, and what you have to go through, anyone who makes it through that extraordinary contest to lead their party into a general election certainly deserves our respect
#wankpuffin
When you're Will Smith and you can't kick a ball
disrespecting the graves of the ancestors of the Whitby residents, by using their graves as props for a cheap photo opportunity
Dead Flowers
Get Off My Cloud
Monkey Man
Tumbling Dice
Doom and Gloom
Midnight Rambler
Sympathy for the Devil
The Rolling Stones have asked presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump to stop playing their songs at his campaign events
in fact she lived with her parents in a council flat in North End Road, Olympia
one contestant, who was standing at position IV, could not be identified for legal reasons, so all traces of this contestant participating in the show had to be removed
a show of strength with your boys' brigade
impregnating Jackson C Frank in the mouth when you were a squid
Raccoon Tit Rape Inn
impregnating Jackson C Frank in the eye when you were a kid
impregnating Elly Jackson
impregnating Janet Jackson
Kissyfur
One veteran told him that the sailors entombed in the USS Pensacola are crying because of Raising Arizona
One veteran told him that the sailors entombed in the USS Arizona are crying because he is selling cola
watching Denise do her thing was like seeing Dave with a wig on blowing a gasket
ordering one kilo of kangaskhan
ordering one kanga of kiloroo
ordering one kilo of kangaroo
Iran Contraception
losing your legs to an IUD
nothing gets teenage boys hotter than looking at an IUD
She sat on the arm of the sofa, slid down next to him, invited the boy upstairs and showed him contraception
I miss my Jedis, need some Jedicest now
I miss my Jeds, need some Jedcest now
I'm drinking wine directly out of the bottle right now
Ranters
ordering a Splatter Me Portman doll
Fitty Cent apologizes for fucking autistic airport stripper
Fitty Cent apologizes for mocking autistic airport worker
Vouspac Quakur's mom dies
twoubesock Shakur's mom dies
Donald Trump deliberately punches Heidi Cruz in the face as Ted Cruz drops out of US presidential race, can't get arrested in this town
Teen retailer Aeropostale has filed for bankruptcy, millions of jailbait girls forced to shop elsewhere
Ted Cruz accidentally punches wife in the face as he drops out of US presidential race
I haven't had time to record, or tour, or give my old lady any slow sweet lovin' in years
the Rump FUNKADELIC
the Rump Parliament
Kong Colon Skull Island
thinking it would be more useful to see the median GPA and annual declared gambling losses of Trump voters so far, as you're willing to bet both are relatively high numbers
the way that Brett Ratner completely fucked up the origin story in Kane Reloaded
RKO Pictures announce Kaneverse with five picture slate
Buddy Swan
y'see my idea of a gentleman, he wears a gentleman's hat, he wears corblimey trousers, and he lives in a gentleman's suite
The median household income of a Trump voter so far in the primaries is about $seventytwothousand
sounded to me like he said "roe spurt", and look at all this mermaid porn he's got in his bookcases right by the bed
Hagwar Swanson
wondering how big an anal ring needs to be to be considered "huge"
What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody even brings it up
Catterbox
choking back the tears
Tupac Shakur's mom dies at sixty nine
Penistone FM
Tupac Shakur's mom dies
Kate Upton shows off her huge anal ring at the Ant Egg Gem Meet
Kate Upton shows off her huge engagement ring at the MET Gala
I got in one little fight and my Dad got scared, he said "you're going to give your life for the salvation of mankind"
even Michael J Fox didn't think twice about turning down teeth from here to Texas
'Philly Willy' arrested at Apple store for getting in one little fight
la bra Franmark
'Philly Jesus' arrested at Apple store for trespassing
Franmark
just being so angry that multiple people were paid to write, edit, and deliver the line "every dog has his day, and his is mine" while you can't even buy a shitty magazine with pictures of Elly Jackson in her scanties, fuck this gay earth
Gay Porn Star Wars
wondering whether a gay porn star named Torsion Balles would be more likely to be famed for twisting his own testicles or those of his partners
bottoming for Torsion Balles in Fuckin' Citizen Kane
flying back to France and once again having the opportunity to watch Star Wars Colon Episode VII Colon The Colon Force Awakens but passing it up for Fuckin' Citizen Kane
flashfreezing Kate Upboob's snot
flashfreezing Kate Upboob's tons
werewolf americans are our superiors
Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too are a horrifying vision of a world where furries are generally accepted
frog fighting in my lab
FROG FIGHT!
"every dog has his day, and his is mine"
Jason Bateman, more like Jason Workmanlike
wondering whether Jason Bateman could convincingly lipsync without four inches of latex around his mouth
Teen Wolf Too starting out like a better remake of the original but quickly devolving into what is obviously a much worse sequel that even Michael J Fox didn't think twice about turning down
teeth from here to Texas
Coach Finstock
casting Hayden Christensen as Flint Marko in the new Spider Man movie
that's no suit
Man in walrus suit shot after alleged bomb threat at Boston Aquarium
Man in panda suit shot after alleged bomb threat at Baltimore Fox affiliate
Jewkebox, Temple University's Jewish A Cappella group
inimically teething sex ho
infant pinup, yea
an uppity Fenian
I have long been inspired by Harriet Tubman, Fredrick Douglass, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, who stood up for themselves and for justice, so it is
flashfreezing Kate Upton's boobs
Upton girl, she's been sent down to the frostbite ward
Senor Rape Doll
Earl Old Person
that you like your sex hos toothy, but sometimes it's just too much
tiny oily homo exit clash
inimically toothy sex ho
ichthyoallyeinotoxism
it's a dream that's growing cold
trying to use ebay to gague how much Elly Jackson's pilfered scanties are worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars
furiously petting the dogs over stolen scanties
Chris Gaither was home alone "petting the dogs" on Wednesday morning when he heard a noise upstairs
ellicit iven
I'm a fuckin' bromo dragonfly
the ellicit thrill of underwear jacking
bromo dragonfly
illicit even
the ellicit thrill of underwear theft
unaccountably arousing regrets
stealing Elly Jackson's scanties from the communal laundry room
better than pictures, even
right
Elly Jackson in her scanties would be pretty great
the ingrained habit of thought
being mature enough to understand the inherent sexism of lad culture and feeling that this tarnishes any cameraderie you ever felt via the "lad" experience, but at the same time feeling that pictures of Elly Jackson in her scanties would be pretty great
only because I'm buying so many copies
Shalom Life, with its still controversial Shiksa Centerfold, is still going
a few of your buddies they sure look shady
not the ones that were already blowing ponies
internet killed the magazine star
the future is pony blowing
perhaps pictures of girls in their underwear wasn't a long term business plan after all
really struggling to think of a lad's mag which is still going
that you would rather watch Helle Thorning Schmidt and Angela Merkel soap each other up in the shower than see that shitty wrecked balls video
that Miley Cyrus is digusting
A pregnant Jamie Oliver takes part in the protest 'Naked' pregnant women vs PETA member in Mother's Day Pig Crate appeal at Fifteen Restaurant
wondering how many teenage boys took out a subscription or whatever it is you do now to Candy, thinking it would usually be full of pictures of naked, drug crazed pop starlets following the Miley Cyrus appearance
The term "new lad" was coined by journalist Sean O'Hagan in a nineteenninetythree article about a young, brash and boisterous economist called David "Lad Lad Lad" Sturrock in Arena
A pregnant PETA member takes part in the protest 'Naked' pregnant women vs Jamie Oliver in Mother's Day Pig Crate appeal at Fifteen Restaurant
wondering what magazines publish interviews with famous teenage girls in their underwear or less and where you can subscribe
wondering what it is like to be Kento and know that at any given moment, animal welfare could be tipped off by PETAHQ
It's a fine ass piece of a fine ass woman
wondering what it is like to be Jewel and know that at any given moment you could totally bang the Cocksure Kodiak Anus Bleacher, were you so inclined
Even I am shocked, not just surprised, but shocked about how well this came out
wondering what it is like to be a female world leader and know that at any given moment there is at least one guy masturbating to you
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
reducing the temperature of her left one until she had boobbite
Karen Gillan hypnotized by Freema Agyeman
God came to earth and saw people and walruses sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out
Pokemon Underwear and Less
God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out
shiny happy people Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
the place where First Woman and First Man were created by Moon the Transformer
he's into that kind of stuff
Bob Iger was quite pleased
pitching Hannah Montana With Eels in Her Vagina to Disney
Bob Iger was not best pleased
pitching the Disney Channel Hanukkah Bukkake, if you know what I mean
pitching the Disney Channel Hanukkah Bukkake
Pokemon Hanukkah and Bukkake
underwear or less
well, they might not care, but they would buy the magazine
really wishing you'd been a famous teenage girl so that you could have given interviews to magazines in your underwear or less and people would actually care because you're a teenage girl in her underwear or less
packing so much fudge
fudger's remorse
wanting to make Kento fire for his birthday but not knowing how
not knowing how to make fire
wanting to make Kento a face full of eels for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth for his birthday
you've got to make me a Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth that can not be ignored
the Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth
you've got to make me an offer that can not be ignored
Pokemon Everything Nice and Asian
Pokemon Spice and Gay
Pokemon Withered and Inbred
there are so many calories in fudge it's fucking unreal
Pokemon Sugar and Fat
sugar and fat
I have really had a lot of sugar
Kento went to a feminist lecture and someone cracked a joke about how women are tough because they bleed once a month, something something, Kento's ravaged anus
jamming things into your reproductive organs has never sounded like so much fun
also, pessaries
really wishing you'd been a famous teenage girl so that you could have given interviews to magazines in your underwear or less and said "people think I'm things but I'm whatever you want, accessibly" and been ignored and forgotten because you were a woman
when you're out on a date with a hardboiled cockney gumshoe wondering when a good time for a face full of eels is
when you're out on a date with a hardboiled cockney gumshoe
wondering when a good time for a face full of eels is
they're the worst
eel litter vaginas
illiterate vegans
Fur, She Wrote
Abortion, She Wrote
your pattern indicates two dimensional thinking
then Obama walks in and he's like "did anybody order an extra large sausage pizza"
even though she's totally not the right era
that you had briefly considered constructing a sexual fantasy involving Angela Merkel and Helle Thorning Schmidt soaping each other up in the women's locker room at the EU Parliament, but you were worried that Margaret Thatcher might suddenly show up
that you would bang Angela Merkel if you were not in a relationship
Infidelity, She Wrote
that you would bang Angela Lansbury if you were not in a relationship
firmly securing snug rye anal lab's box
raw shat
firmly securing Angela Lansbury's box
the box is firmly secured, there will be no problem
Menopause, She Wrote
Dessicant Fletcher
PUKACHU used TORRENT! SQUIRTLE fainted!
Crapmon Poke and Puke
Pukemon Poke and Crap
Pokemon Puke and Crap
drawing a picture of yourself being Eiffel Towered by puke and crap puking and crapping at the same time
drawing a picture of yourself being Eiffel Towered by puke and crap
puking and crapping at the same time
Hats' War
Konon Trofimovich Molody
driving your snowblower so hard it explodes in Winter
being deep into Winter with no sign of white stuff
Winter is coming
Diving Deep Into Science With Stephen Hawking
Ariel Winter's asshole, brother
Chewie animism
Howe was known to his men as "BIGGER, BLACKER Dick," a reference to his swarthy complexion that had developed from years of exposure to the elements and perhaps also to his somber nature
PLANETARY chauvinism
Howe was known to his men as "Black Dick," a reference to his swarthy complexion that had developed from years of exposure to the elements and perhaps also to his somber nature
Han chauvinism
I've been away all week
wondering how the quest to pump your daughter is going
that the video for Stacy's Mom really showcases the whole Jailbait slash Milf dichotomy, in which all men are socially conditioned to be sexually attracted to women who are either way too young or way too old
too many sad memories
please don't bring up Ariel Winter
Ariel Winter's asshole brother, Colon Winter
wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is
TRUMP Butt Rape Tune
TRUMP Teen Bra Tutu P
TRUMP Peanut Butter
the schism between Big Red Dogs for Trump and Cruel Anal Labs for Trump
'Kids for Trump', pro comic farting pressure group, vows never to return to Costa Mesa, blaming parents for booking mix up
'Fats for Trump' and 'Dogs for Trump' Colon Spirited, diverse crowd gathers at a Comet Ass rally
'Gays for Trump' and 'Kids for Trump' Colon Spirited, diverse crowd gathers at Costa Mesa rally
he doesn't like sand, you know that
sending Hayden Christensen tickets for an all expenses paid month long break at fabulous Fraser Island, on Australia's beautiful Gold Coast
you're a walrus, Harry
everyone's favourite walrus
JOE Cornish gay men
Cornish gay men
PREDICTING all the elements in the periodic table in order
not understanding the question "who is a less sincere, creepier stand in for Kento"
wondering who the Jason Bateman to Kento's Michael J Fox is
Teen Dork Too
Doom II Cruise Control
Teen Dork
Red Kento
broadly speaking Red Ken is probably correct, as similar threads ran through a lot of philosophies of the era, but he phrased it in an unbearably blunt way
A fathead with the brains of a guinea pig
He was supporting Zionism before he went mad and ended up killing six million Jews
Hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman
colon oral sex
going to the mall and seeing a ten foot high poster for The Huntsman Colon Winter's War that had a huge picture of Liam Gallagher or whatever the fuck the name of the star is, and his "armor" appeared to be made of the same leather as women's purses
everyone's favorite lizard
everyone's favourite wizard
Operation Success
Drunkasaurus Sex
having drunkasaur sex with agent fiftyseven in your autofill cache
talking with drunkasaurs
No homo polanski
Homo polanski
Roman Polanski's Oklahoma!
Oklahoma court colon oral sex is not rape if victim is unconscious from drinking
the music sounds better with you
the Tournament of Shadows
kento pants
pony pants
yolo pants
homo pants
screw pants
hammer pants
hapo pants
gaucho pants
Gonorrhea Cyrus Geldof, Jedi Knight
Gonorrhea Cyrus
Achy Breaky Cyrus
Destiny Cyrus
wondering whose accent is least convincing, Gary Oldman in Interstate Sixty or Ewan McGregor in Big Fish
it has fruit
eating gay chocolate
it has nuts
eating male chocolate
expectorating moldy chocolate
being moldy chocolate
bukkakeing moldy chocolate
eating vegan moldy chocolate
old chris lydon
old christ
old, christ
Ld Methyl Cocoa was a moldy old soul and a moldy old soul was he
eating old methyl cocoa
Schoolie McSchoolface
'This is the stuff of nightmares' Colon Sadistic cat killer terrorizes London pet owners, cheerio, meow
eating moldy chocolate
Caper in the Castro
that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT INGURGITATE" signs all over the cells, a word swallowing Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know
Townsville's Titanic
wasted from the neck down
Bandit Kento
Bandit Keith
bukkakento
completely naked
naked from the waste down
just assuming that Go Ikeda is naked from the waste down and getting a blow job in that Muffin Man video
then a bunch of old Japanese guys jack off on him
drawing a picture of Kento walking into a Japanese restaurant and asking for bukkake udon, hold the udon
bukkake udon
Find the Best Bukakke for Your Face Shape
performing a suzerain section
that you like your women like you like your coffee, mate
I'm pretty sure she gets confused by most things
confusing Hannah Montana with bukkake
bottoming for Al Poojolson in Brownface VII
Albert Pujols
Go Ril La Fucking Shit
Zookeeper appearing to be a movie about a loveless loser who hooks up with a gorilla and finds a willing beard to cover for his perversion
he got the grandma hair
you knock her down, you bring her up, and when she seems interested you walk away
wondering if the working title of The Zookeeper's Wife was The Stupid Fatass's Wife
wondering if the working title of Kevin James was Stupid Fatass
wondering if the working title of Zookeeper was Stupid Fatass
Find the Best Bangs for Your Face Bucks
Find the Best Bangs for Your Face Shape
Fireman Paff Helps Remove 'Device' From Kevin Clash's Penis
A married Oregon pet shop worker paid a prostitute with cash from a Girl Scout donation jar and tipped the sex worker for her services with a small exotic primate, police said
Fireman Paff Helps Remove 'Device' From Elmo's Penis
Fire Department Helps Remove 'Device' From Man's Penis
it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old Nuclear Man wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos
it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old Nuclear Man
wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a dog could possibly earn pesos
obviously thy're my pesos
An all powerful hand that delivers ruthless attacks
his or yours
teaching a dog to throw crumpled, low denomination peso notes at sexual conquests
wanting to adopt a cruel anal lab and take advantage of Kento's dog walking service on his birthday
adopting a Devonshire Karate Terrier instead of a Cruel Anal Lab
Devon's Karate Kid
Devon's Little Trees
Devon Bonsai
Ryannorthopedia, the encyclopedia that Ryan North can edit
RYAN Northwestdesperadowhydon'tyoucometoyoursenses World
Northwestdesperado World
Jimwestdesperado World
Jimwest World
Summerglau World
Somerwest World
The Time Traveller's Wife's Gangbang
that doesn't mean it's not a sequel
it sounds like a very different kind of film
wondering whether The Zookeeper's Wife is a sequel to The Zookeeper
liking your coffee like you like your men, filled with the essence of Kenyan men
liking your coffee like you like your men, part Kenyan origin
amazingly everyone in the UK media seems to have met him and most of them seem to have fucked him
feeling like Prince was probably a formative musician for the oldest generation of "internet people" which means that the echo chamber of social media and internet news will not shut the fuck up even though he has done nothing in like twenty years
Pokemon Diamond and Pearl
he gave us diamonds and pearls
he rocked a party like nobody can
really not getting what the fuck was so special about Prince
holding down the chord of C, plucking a fretted bass string with the thumb of the right hand, then plucking the third, second, and first strings all together with the first, second, and third fingers of the right hand
Bernie bros
A tuckered out drunken man fell asleep on someone's porch after urinating on several items along Twin Acres Drive
A boy with what was described as "boy hair" was picked up at an Evergreen store and returned to his parents
Ye Olde Swan & Tuske
dancing is a dancing skhold
dancing is a dancing skiss
Ye Olde Man & Tuske
Ye Olde Man & Scythe
dancing is a dancing skill
Ye Olde Fighting Cocks
Secretive group of Hollywood conservatives suddenly dissolves
He believed he was the Messiah and if you had sex with him, you became one with him
Boris Johnson promises to "build a wall" around Kenya and "make Kenya pay for it"
literally never having heard of The Hogan Family before on your entire life, unless you watched it religiously for years when it was new
that when you lived in Germany as a child, your cousins used to send you VHS tapes of American TV shows, including ALF, Star Trek Colon The Next Generation, and exactly one episode of the Hogan Family
voyeuristic men with a doll fixation
show me
going by the evidence of Teen Wolf, Michael J Fox was the poor man's Michael J Fox in the eighties
show men on the doll where Jason Bateman touched you
completely forgetting Jason Bateman was in Juno but now remembering it all
that, now that you think about it, Jason Bateman really was the poor man's Michael J Fox in the eighties
wondering which will prove the better movie, Teen Wolf Too or Mr Magorium's Whorehouse and Toystore
he was also the unspeakably creepy guy in Juno
knowing that you must have seen Teen Wolf Too a half dozen times as a kid but not having any idea who Jason Bateman was other than the guy from Arrested Development
Rod Daniel is a director who rewards a focused eye and a careful memory
you should probably watch Teen Wolf Too soon, so all the plot nuances are fresh in your mind
cummin' toughs, we're rough
adding The Zookeeper to the queue, right after Teen Wolf Too
OH MY GOD IT'S THE SCENE WHERE PAUL BLART TAKES THE GORILLA TO TGIFRIDAY'S, THE MOST TRANSPARENT INSTANCE OF PRODUCT PLACEMENT IN FILM HISTORY
realizing that The Zookeeper is on TV RIGHT NOW
backing up now and giving a brother room
this is what it sounds like when doves just don't understand
MTV Accidentally Adds Fresh Prince Video To All Day Marathon
wondering what it is like to be complimented by a British prime minister on your people's ability to run very fast and your personal rise above the deficiencies of your kind when you are leader of the free world
Obama urges 'hot old robber' Britain not to leave the EU
Obama urges 'brothel brood' Britain not to leave the EU
Obama urges 'blood brother' Britain not to leave the EU
There was a guy there who was selling homemade T shirts, "I was at Capone's vault"
Squirrel shaped Mandarin Fish
being hungry for sweet and sour at three in the morning
skeleton skype
getting a necklace from the jerk parade as it passes
the jerk parade through hipstertown
#justbeatingyourselfoffthings
wanting to make a float out of vanila ice cream and sweetened ice green tea for the jerk parade through hipstertown
wanting to make a float out of vanila ice cream and sweetened ice green tea
dahoy
oh wait I get it
tell me your skype
just beating yourself off
just beating yourself
just eating yourself
Prince's First Photo Shoot Colon 'My Gut Said He Was Going to be Huge'
ejaculating in Kento, eh
expectorating in Kento's eye
it's never the prince you want dead who dies
size beavers
size
beavers
Chyna Syndrome
the still living entrails of French Stewart
that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT EJACULATE" signs all over the cells, a word cumming Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know
in this life, you're on your own
the death of Prince
OJ Simpson wants to date both Kris Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner after prison release colon report
nobody expectorates the Irish Inquisition
bottoming for Plenty O'Phlegm in Expectorating Irish Toughs VII
the way Jeph Loeb ripped off Spider Man's "great power, great responsibility" schtick for the father son talk in Teen Wolf sweaty beavers
trusting the word of a performer whose stage name is also his bra size
being shocked that even a professional wrestler slash porn star could succumb to drug abuse
Triple H mentioned that Chyna deserved to be in the WWE Hall of Fame but that problems with children Googling her prohibited it
double underhook facebuster
the death of Chyna
that's good advice, friend
you better let somebody love you before it's too late
Kento Parkinson
wanting to give Kento Parkinson's for his birthday
starting to think some people deserve horrible diseases
Michael J Fox's stand in appearing in the crowd scenes to make up the numbers
remembering really loving Teen Wolf and even remembering some of the scenes pretty well, but being super confused as to how there can be a thirty minute third act when there aren't really first and second acts, just an hour of boredom
drawing a picture of Teen Wolf disembowelling and consuming the still living entrails of French Stewart
the way Jeph Loeb ripped off Spider Man's "great power, great responsibility" schtick for the father son talk in Teen Wolf
sweaty beavers
Michael J Fox's sweat dripping, flushed features looming over you like he just blew his load
Teen Worf
ICE TO MEAT YOU
ICE TO SEE YOU
it's nice to meat you
ass meat
it's nice to meet you
carne de burro
Thanks Giving Ass Erole
Assy McGee was great
The cartoon was later canceled as part of a settlement between WWE and Cartoon Network due to the show's similarities with Cartoon Network's show Assy McGee
Carl's Jr and Hardee's have partnered with Auntie Anne's to offer a new option for breakfast colon a pretzel sandwich with egg, sausage, and cheese
shite films AMA
Google Has Stopped Rating 'Google dot com' as 'Partially Dangerous'
it's a ma films, eh
it's a shame film
tonight there's going to be a bleaching, somewhere in this town
it's pretty much the only thing to do around here when Pitbull isn't in town
A New Survey Says Ninety Three% of Kodiak Residents Have Undergone Bleaching
A New Survey Says Ninety Three% of the Great Barrier Reef Has Undergone Bleaching
bottoming for Asshole Rose in The Man in the White Asshole
bottoming for Axl Rose in The Man in the White Castle
a dug's b boy funk
Kung Fu's bad boy
at least not until we get around to seeing Terry Silver make Jaden Smith bloody his hands punching a guy made out of wood with a photocopy of Keenan Ivory Wayans Jr glued to it
it's a shame film will never see a shot as brilliantly crafted as the one in Home Alone IV Colon Taking Back the House where French Stewart spins on that book case
the death of Rod Daniel
mouthing the words, assuming the positions
New York Congressman Says He'll 'Take Cyanide' if Ted Cruz Wins Nomination
Minister of State for Universities and Science Amy Jo Johnson
Trump countered with a demand to see Laura J Brown's long form birth certificate, commenting "she's got jet fuel coming out of her wherever"
Laura J Brown, a spokeswoman for the Federal Aviation Administration, confirmed that the plane's registration was not in good standing and said the owner had not renewed it
Rear Admiral Pouty Von Partypooper
British government pooh poohs winning 'Boaty McBoatface' name for ship
it isn't even slathered in donkey sauce
that's much worse
your All American Fifty State Silk Tampons to Rape
your All American Fifty State Potato Skin Sampler
it's never too late to discover a new molecule or get crucified
German chemist Friedrich August Kekule discovered the ring structure of the benzene molecule in a dream
Jesus of Nazareth, a moral teacher and faith healer, was executed and eventually became the most renowned religious figure in history
museumofconceptualart dotcom accomplished
making out with that Catwoman who turned out to be a twelve year old girl
Mykel Mohrkhawke
Michael Moorcock
Voldemorecock
missing your calling in life
that as of twenty sixteen there are four installments of Star Wars Colon A Gay XXX Parody
Star Wars XXL XXX Costumes
that when you start typing "Star Wars XXX" into google it autosuggests Star Wars XXL costums
pitching Blow the Man Down, the gay porn gameshow, in which wall to wall seamen make wall to wall jokes about wall to wall semen while doing explicit sexual things to each other
pornographic horror film
having Cliff Richard's "Mistletoe and Wine" stuck in your head to the tune of "Blow the Man Down"
Sexualization of the buttocks has occurred throughout history, especially of the feminine gender
Eventually they will simply merge into the mainstream of motion pictures and disappear as a labeled sub division
Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls
Bat Pussy
Bonesaw
The Human Sexipede
Muffy the Vampire Layer
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Star Wars XXX Colon A Porn Parody is to date the best selling adult movie ever
props such as chocolate cake, champagne and bananas contributed to a more playful and relaxed atmosphere than commonly seen in this inherently limited genre
Bodil Joensen
bottoming for Hayden Christensen in Boys in the Sand
A Grass Sandwich
it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old
Nudemar
Nuclear Swan
Nuclear Man
tonight there's going to be a jail break, somewhere in this town
Friend of Will Smith removed from NOPD to protect investigation people grunting on an almost completely black dick
Friend of Will Smith removed from NOPD to protect investigation
people grunting on an almost completely black dick
AMERICAN goth dick
goth dick
bragging about eating the last slice of Virginia ham
losing all respect for Sia Furler as a musician
really not understanding whether The Fifth Wave is trying to present child soldiers as a good thing or a bad thing
no, wait, the other way
octaroon dick
almost completely black, but partially white, dick
the long section of so many porno films where the action is basically people grunting on an almost completely black dick
the long section of so many porno films where the action is basically people grunting on an almost completely black screen
cheap LCD screens
the long section of so many modern films where the action is basically people grunting on an almost completely black screen
wondering if like Carrie Fisher or Mark Hamill or whoever actually do laundry, you know to keep it quote unquote real, or what
we ARE the fifth wave!
not eating her out again, when she would have said yes the second time
simultaneous attacks on the last of our metropolitan areas
learning that they made another Tim Burton Alice movie
Children Filmed From Unflattering Angles Saying Stupid Things Colon The Movie
wondering if all modern teen movies are as stupid as The Fifth Wave
how unbelievably stupid The Fifth Wave is, such that it rivals the weaker Karate Kid movies
guessing that all of the spare money that Carrie Fisher has had for most of her life went right up her nose
Alaska professor mauled by twink during bleaching class
Alaska professor mauled by bear during mountaineering class
slushies can't melt steel beams
It's very close to my heart because I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen down at seven eleven, down at the World Trade Center right after it came down, and I saw the greatest people I've ever seen in action
I think she was in Home Alone Colon The Return of the Wet Bandits
Christy Haydensen
Patamo Nartmien
Fishy Carrier
drawing a picture of Carrie Fisher finding some British money she'd forgotten she had as she does her laundry
She's the Fastest
Whil Wheaton whirling in an arc of sadness
Shelbyville Manhattan
Guy Incognito
there's nothing symmetrical about flavor
Sudsley BrewRight
Rear Admiral
Cheesesteak
Furious D
Krudler
Roman Polanski's sleeper hit, Hot Tub Rape Machine
wondering if it is still rape if you go back in time and prevent it from ever happening but retain the memory like in tv shows where they time travel
wondering how time machine banging works, like do you get in the machine and go back again and again, Groundhog Day style, until you get things right, or do you roll up in it and say "hey baby, wanna see the Crusades"
slowly meeting Brian Peppers
slowly blessing Brian Punctured
slowly puncturing Brian Blessed
slowly puncturing Kirstie Alley
she looks like Kirstie Alley with a slow puncture
Fisher lost almost one hundred pounds while preparing for the new Star Wars movie, however she regained all of it and more during filming
considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Leia Organa but then realizing her mother is way hotter
relying on the witch in the wardrobe
no one's gay for Moleman
ENDUT! HOCH HECH!
paying mind to a ragged clown's behind
paying mind to a ragged clown behind
apologizing profusely to Ryan for what we've done here, cheerio
when your chip bag's empty and your soda's gone you did nothing wrong
you could eat cheetos but we're way out of doritos
take me down to the paradise city where the dough is fried and the men have titties
wondering when Angus Young will reach the age when even he has too much shame to keep on wearing that school uniform
Blood Fart
Bitch Piglet
Split Dickslit
Gimp Disco
welcome to the jungle, we've got pie and cake
seeing a photo of Axl Rose and briefly thinking, besides looking like Hulk Hogan dressed in the dark at Van Morrison's house, he'd also lost a foot to diabeetus
Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts
"I've apologized profusely to the people behind the website," Hand is quoted as saying
wondering if there is a more needlessly complex villainous plot than the plot of Halloween III Colon Season of the Witch
The Two Midgets Who Shaved Summer Glau
The Kid Who Shaved Summer Glau
The Dog Who Saved Summer Glau
The Dog Who Saved Halloween Colon Resurrection
The Dog Who Saved Halloween
The Dog Who Saved Summer
The Dog Who Saved Easter
killing a cop down at thirty fourth and vine
kissing a cop down at thirty fourth and vine
drawing a picture of Will Smith and Nikola Tesla getting jigawatts with Uncle Phil
too soon
getting jigawatts with it
I don't even know where I would get the one point two one jigawatts of power
fingerbanging her in the car and breaking up with her so that George could get some of that rebound pussy
considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Lea Thompson but then realizing she's your mom and if you bang her you'll never be born and George will always be a loser
considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Lea Thompson but then realizing her daughter is way hotter
pro nematodes
phony codes
plowing Brony Peppers
pony chodes
broad swords
blowing Pony Peppers
ponies that only have eight sucks per blow
bragging about blowing a pony in West Virginia
blowing a pony until he had a ponygasm
you were only supposed to blow the bloody pony off
being blown by multiple ponies
blowing multiple ponies
being blown by a pony
blowing a pony
bottoming for Oscar Eagle in Rectum Drive VII
OSCAR EAGLE RECTUM DRIVE
that is about par
filtering through your twitter followers and discovering that over a hundred of the four hundred or so you had were porn bots
Tony Hawk Colon UPHILL Jam
Fitty Cent Colon Bulletproof
Tony Hawk's Colon Motion
Tony Hawk's Colon Proving Ground
Tony Hawk Colon Downhill Jam
Tony Hawk Colon Shred
Myke Hawke Colon Ride
We're Going on a Mike Hunt, Luigi
We're Going on a Twink Hunt
Tony Hawk Colon Ride
Burglar Bill
We're Going on a Bear Hunt
Hairy Maclary From Paddy Murphy's County Kildare Farm
Famished Queegle
Tardy Queegle
Dr Xargle's Book of Earthlets
The Hobyahs
Hairy Maclary From Donaldson's Dairy
having impure thoughts about a hairy scary Cynthia Rider
bottoming for Cynthia Rider in The Hairy Scary Monster
the hairy scary monster
cumming in and wrecking Kento's balls
shit covered pansies don't count
Kento doesn't give people flowers
you might as well be
I'm not Kento
you died on the way back to your home planet
I didn't die, Candlejack turned u
I'm going to assume that you died
shit it
mentally combining the image of Hulk Hogan with the video for "Wrecking Ball" and finding to your horror that
Hostamania Web Hosting powered by Hulk Hogan "Wrecking Ball" Promo
the former professional wrestler tweeted a revealing picture of his daughter wearing a tiny pair of denim shorts with the caption 'Brooke's legs'
barring the door, Katy
bottoming for Zowie Bowie in Moon
Kento watches ET over and over wondering why a wrinkled bald alien is more accepted in public than he
I already have one, I'm not even using it, would you like it
that you will have an undergraduate degree soon
Late in eighteen ten, Madison proclaimed non intercourse with Great Britain, which responded by texting Congress pictures of Madison's flaccid penis accompanied by claims to be "getting it proper off of Napoleon, cheerio"
provocative and emotional pokemon
whatever his deficiencies in charm, Madison's ellipsis wife Dolley compensated for them with her warmth and gaiety
Mercifully, this American president, who is the most anti British American president there has ever been, won't be in office for much longer, and I hope will be replaced by somebody rather more sensible when it comes to trading relationships with this cou
provocative and emotional lesbos
Pope Francis takes refugees back to Rome following provocative and emotional Lesbos visit
it's like pottery
learning that the band America was formed in England
Florida king of queers dies after being attached to tiny tiger
here comes a greaseball
Florida king of queers dies after being attached to tiger
Florida king of queers dies after being attacked by tiger
Big Fucking Kentonads
buggering big dinosaurs with agenty fifty seven in your autofill cache
Sturdy Colon Circumcision does not reduce penis sensitivity
not getting colon circumcised
Study Colon Circumcision does not reduce penis sensitivity
angry splashing
Kento's anus miasma
IT TARS PAT!
Merci Patron!
SIT APART
Big Fucking Gonads
Florida king of queens dies after being attacked by tiger
"buggererbig" is in your autofill
Florida mall cop dies after being attacked by tiger
wondering what kind of things you often write so that "buggererbig" is in your autofill
Kento's anosmia
fucking autofill IN THE ASS
getting a big job as a Kento buggerer
fucking autofill
getting a job as a Kento buggererbig
getting a job as a Kento buggerer
bitchin' Kento
Kento botherer dies after being attacked by walrus buttering Kento
getting a job as a Kento botherer
bothering Kento
Florida zookeeper dies after being attacked by tiger buttering Kento
buggering Kento
Florida zookeeper dies after being attacked by tiger
buttering Kento
bitching Kento
butchering Kento
getting a text from Larry Hagman about his newfound love of twerking
twerking a router from Christopher Tolkien
twocking a router from Christopher Tolkien
believable animals that grunt, squeak, squawk with the voices of Bill Murray and Christopher Tolkien
believable animals that walk with the voices of Bill Murray and Christopher Tolkien
believable animals that talk with the voices of Bill Murray and Christopher Walken
Joe Biden's refusal to change his last name to Momma
they're all criminals
I don't get it
Joe Biden's refusal to marry someone named Laura or to name any of his children Laura
ITS A TRAP!
he'll probably have me arrested
you should give it back to him
oh, I get it
stealing a router from Christopher Nolan
M Knight Shyamalan
wondering if there is a space in the market for a casting agency specializing in background actors and uncharismatic leads, we'll call it Who's Not
wading birds suddenly appear every time you are near
Herschel Kentovsky
the Grundlo
I don't like where this is going
Kento's grundle
wondering if all the AIs are racists now
that apparently it's okay to photoshop dicks into the mouths of some fat gay Asians but knot others
signed, Bill Cosby
that apparently it's okay to push cocks into the mouths of some women but not others
that apparently it's okay to push cakes into the mouths of some women but not others
that apparently it's okay to photoshop cakes into the mouths of some women but not others
that apparently it's okay to photoshop dicks into the mouths of some women but not sarahsusanaklassen
white stuff people lick
londoncandacanrapkillinall
kkk ssk kill in london canada in all say you fag at it
stuff fat gay asian people lick
stuff white people lick
poodoo loans
payday loans
stuff white people like
this has been identified as a pronominal clitic meaning "their" by others
Kizzuwanda
Tyte Myke
torture redresses
deserter trousers
Loose Ruth
je suis Jacques Brel et je suis les Drells aussi
Pokemon James Avery and Jesus
drawing a picture of Will Smith running a couple co projects with James Avery and Jesus
The film, "Freddy Got Fingered," was allegedly not returned "at the expiration of the time for which it was rented"
he's running co projects with Jesus
he's with Uncle Phil now
Will Smith shot eight times, seven times in back
letting the sun grease up a Canadian and go down on you
I don't know anything else to call it
if you can still call it a rectum
Kento's rectum
letting the sun go down on you
King John, Arthur Hood, and Elton Robin
King Arthur, Robin Hood, and Elton John
Pokemon PJS and YMA
Pokemon Gay Threesomes, A Canadian, Olive Oil Wrestling and One Of Great Britain's Most Legendary Celebrities
gay threesomes, a Canadian, olive oil wrestling and one of Great Britain's most legendary celebrities
Gothic Castle
Sex Cauldron
everyone was a eunuch
that early episode of the Simpsons where the entire town goes nuts over that picture of Homer dancing near a fully clothed exotic dancer, as though Springfield were the town from Footloose execpt everyone was a eunuch
wondering how many people are being raped and murdered while Superman, who can hear everything that happens on Earth, hangs
British Minister Admits Dating Woman in Sex Industry
Superman being such an easy target
wondering what Superman does about prison rape, like does he accept that it's part of the imperfect criminal justice system, or does he keep turning up at prison windows saying "hey, stop that"
wondering how many people are being raped and murdered while Superman, who can hear everything that happens on Earth, hangs around his ex girlfriend's house masturbating to cuckold porn
hormones racing at the speed of light, you're finger lickin' good
realizing that our pornographic parody of that song is no more filthy than the original
I'm a penis in a butthole, you gotta rub me the right way
not understanding why any Superman movie should go on for twenty full minutes after the bad guy is beaten, let alone one that's already over two hours long
it's penis butthole genie time
never finishing that all poop puns adaptation of the Tempest you were going to call The Dumpest
wondering how many major newspapers ever had a sexplane
buying multiple copies of the book "Romeo and Slash or Juliet " by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
wondering how many major newspapers ever had a seaplane
possibly the latest film plot to ever rely upon a fax machine
Superman's NTSC, Jimmy Olsen
Richard's a good man, and you've been gone a long time, but I'll bang you stupid anyway because I'm a caricature of a character made famous by a better actress in a better film
Arthur Fortune
there's a reverse gremlin on the wing
Richard Branson's apparently prophetic decision to be part of the shuttle crew in Superman Returns
"If tragedy can provoke everyday folks to be nice to each other," the multimillionaire reasoned, "then comedy must have the same effect on extremists, and that is why my latest album has downloaded itself to your phone and billed you for the privilege"
Utwo singer Bono tells Congress comedy can help in fight against extremists
stoveOVENs Undercut US Case for Taking Mortgage Giant Fannie Mae's Profits
catamites
cataphiles
Documents Undercut US Case for Taking Mortgage Giant Fannie Mae's Profits
drawing a picture of Hillary Clinton smearing penis butthole jelly on Bill de Blasio's chapped privates as Clifford the Big Red Dog looks on
running on penis butthole jelly time
it's penis butthole jelly time
South Korean prostitutes accuse politicians of giving elderly men erectile dysfunction medication to secure support at election time
South Korean prosecutors accuse politicians of giving elderly men electile dysfunction medication to secure support at erection time
South Korean prosecutors accuse politicians of giving elderly men erectile dysfunction medication to secure support at election time
running on chapped privates time
running on cervix pain time
running on cunt penetration time
running on crayon picture time
running on clinton period time
running on conservative panty time
running on copenhagen polse time
running on copulation pig time
running on conservative party time
running on church pleasuring time
running on cameron panama papers time
running on christensen parody time
running on clever pun time
running on colon play time
running on cat pee time
running on child prodigy time
running on cherry pie time
running on cheesy potatoes time
running on chesty poet time
running on champagne platform time
running on cumming pony time
running on cusco peru time
running on cougar pussy time
running on catnip plant time
running on crushed pelvis time
running on crack pipe time
running on cuba pete time
running on christina piercing time
running on creamy pesto time
running on cabbage patch time
running on colored people time
running on cautious politician time
running on circumcised peppers time
running on creepy pest time
running on cunnilingus portman time
running on creative producer time
running on crown prince time
running on crystal pepsi time
running on clown penis time
running on complete prick time
running on civic pride time
running on creased pants time
running on cm punk time
running on complete pervert time
running on concert promoter time
running on crapped pants time
running on crime prime time
running on cosby penis time, there's always room for jello
running on court privilege time
running on colonoscopy picture time
running on clown posse time
running on colostrum pump time
running on capybara pregnancy time
running on carrot puree time
running on crisp packet time
running on celebrity plumpness time
running on cucumber pickle time
running on captain picard time, number one
running on chicago pizza time, da bears
running on christian preschool time
running on charlie parker
running on chili pepper time
running on comfy pillow time
running on childrens panties time
running on chris pratt time
running on chlamydophila pneumoniae time
running on cockney pillock time
running on charmeuse pajama time
running on close protection time
running on chinese panda time
running on chink polack time
running on christs prepuce time
running on captain phasma time
running on cool people time
running on canterbury pilgrimage time
running on catholic penitent time
running on crab people time
running on california penal time
running on cardio pulmonary time
running on collection point time
running on cum privilegio time
running on centipede podiatry time
running on chocolate pudding time, there's always room for jello
running on chest pain time
running on cancerous prostate time
running on clitoris piercing time
running on collective production time
running on canadian parliament time, eh
running on cunt pussy time
running on curry powder time
running on charlie patty time
running on chris podcasting time
running on cat punching time
running on cumguzzling pokemon time
running on configuration protocol time
running on commanding presence time
running on cuckold party time
running on creepy pasta time
running on cold pizza time
running on craigslist prostitute time
running on chin patch time
running on childish prank time
running on charles perrault time
running on cream pie time
running on colossal penis time
running on central perk time
running on central perk time, could you BE any more jetlagged
running on chris pine time
running on central park time
running on cerebral palsy time
running on captain planet time
running on chuck palahniuk time
running on cafepress time
running on cathay pacific time
running on caesars palace time
running on child pornography time
running on CP time
yippie kay yay motherfuckering to your sensei
bow wow wowing to your sensei
bowing to your sensei
wondering whether there is a PETA in whatever universe Pokemon are found in, or whether precocious ten year old drifters commanded their enslaved Pokemon to destroy PETAHQ with the fabulously destructive powers they wield
Good colon grief period
Pokemon Disney, Jedi Knight
Pokemon Disney's Snow White and Gene Huntsman Colon Dawn of Franchise
Disney's Snow White and Gene Huntsman Colon Dawn of Franchise
boweling in Kento
somewhere, somewhere
somewhere down the crazy river
you give me the shits
bowling in Kent
pirates' corner
kind of fiding Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard
laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John
no daddy, our business is journalism
never realizing Chuck from Biggles Colon Adventures in Time was Porkins from Star Wars and Harry Howler from Superman IV
bottoming for Sidney Jizz Furie in Man vs Superman IV
imagining that Sidney J Furie's middle name is Jizz
fiding the idea of Gene Hackman filming on a trading estate in Milton Keynes hilarious
electroplating your five and dime on the shit lot, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean
saying you were going to call Charlie Brown but never calling
electroplating your dime on the shit lot
electroplating your dime in the hot slot
putting your dime in the hot slot
you just can't seem to stop thinking about white assholes
Adam Sandler in Sex Lip
I don't regret my decision
I almost gave in and watched it on the airplane last week, but decided to go with Pixels instead
wondering if it is time to give in and watch the new Star Wars
I gotcha
Homer Thompson
bluebs
the scene at the end of Hack Swan where Richard Pryor pulls off his wig, his bald wig, and then the wig underneath that to reveal that he was indeed a bag of Doritos all along, then fatally attacks himself in the mirror trying to find a hidden microphone
diet Spielberg
Gene Hackswan
so far it's actually better in a lot of ways
they have robbers and rapists and rapists who rape robbers
Gene Hackman's refusal to return as Lex Luthor from the previous two films in protest of director Richard Donner's firing
The Big Apricot
Webscoe Industries
a moment on the Thunderlips, forever on the Thunderhips
running out of nude thong thong fluid and having to use buck groin oil
Buck GroinOil
uBlock Origin
youtube giving you a thirty second unskippable ad on a twenty four second video
Christopher Lydon's Walrus Tank
Roman Polanski's Project Greenlight
we have a US version called Shark Tank, but as far as I know none of the stars have raped children
surprisingly, being bad at due diligence and engaging in sexual activity with a child qualified him as a government adviser and investment guru
it's the show with a former star who fucked a child and got away with it
not knowing if you know what Dragons' Den and whether it's worth doing a Kento comment on the previous regret where he says "I'm in, I have a penny, it is electroplated"
A company that takes a walrus from a shelter that needs a good home, lets it come to your house to Eiffel Tower you with an elderly podcaster, and then immediately returns it to the shelter
A company that takes an animal from a shelter that needs a good home, lets it come to your house to lick peanut butter off your dick, and then immediately returns it to the shelter
Rocky and Thunderlips have completed their exhibition match, which has been more violent than Rocky expected
We could all be forced to convert to a faith that requires we not only intermarry with the astro bugs but also eat our firstborn on the Day of Consumption
Three Ninjas Colon High Noon at Asshole Fountain
Mr Nancy
Poor Little Santa With Muscles
'Hamburglar' Breaks Into Five Guys Restaurant
bottoming for Macho Man Randy Savage in Three Minutes of Playtime VII
Hulkamania running wild under you
same gay time, same gay channel
Pastamania, niggers
Pastamania
I was just the right gay guy at the right place at the right time, niggers
I was just the right gay guy at the right place at the right time
Hulk Hogan Messes up His Sheets
if you actually believe in your mind
all those Learjets that you have
Hulk Hogan Messes up His Pants
Hulk Hogan Messes up His Lines
Eddy and Mary Graves left to hunt, but when they returned with deer meat, Fosbody's dick had already been cut apart for food
Eddy and Mary Graves left to hunt, but when they returned with deer meat, Fosdick's body had already been cut apart for food
Mao Sugiyama
Geodude born, Geodude bred, hard as nails, good in bed
the Doner Kebab Party
the Donner Party cut of Superman II
the Donner Party
intentionally putting America in any kind of Geodude
intentionally putting America in any kind of jeoardy
eating at a waffle house and being pretty sure you're waffletastic now
eating at a waffle house and being pretty sure you're diabetic now
President Obama further elaborated, saying that Clinton, if given the choice between hurting America and helping it, would "most likely choose helping it, maybe, I guess"
Hillary Clinton unveils new campgaign slogan colon "Hillary Clinton Colon She Would Never Intentionally Put America in Any Kind of Jeopardy"
being pretty sure that Alex Trebek is the greatest source of jeopardy America faces today
President Obama, at the White House last week, said in an interview broadcast Sunday that Hillary Clinton "would never intentionally put America in any kind of jeopardy"
thinking that banana flavored oreos would be delicious but then realizing that it combines two racial slurs
The Minnesota Framing Crew stretching Roger Rabbit
The Minnesota Stretching Crew framing Roger Rabbit
Tour de France Winner Alfonso Ribeiro Hanged, Killed in Hyderabad
Super Bowl Winner Will Smith Shot, Killed in New Orleans
The Minnesota Stretching Crew
framing Roger Rabbit
stealing that girl's lower bra inch from the communal laundry room
I'm gonna call you lower bra inch
road trip to Arby's with Harvey in a Humvee RV, brb
the atomic lemon drop
the atomic leg drop
Zod's insistence on blowing everybody on Fifth Avenue
sexy realpolitik
Bernie Sanders wins Wyoming caucus but Hillary Clinton picks up delegates
I'm gonna call you Charlie Brown
I'm gonna call you Lucy
two fingers work best
I don't know the right way
I'm a genie in a butthole, you gotta rub me the right way
they have a wide selection
bottoming for Christopher Ream in Super Man IV Colon The Quest For Peens
Minus Rape I straight up having full frontal nudity from a child in the opening credits
Superman II straight up having full frontal nudity from a child in the opening credits
Ben Obiwan Kenobi
Old Ben Reddishdog Campbell, crazy old man
Ben Reddishdog Campbell
Ben Nighthorse Campbell
fanadikdickfans dot com
fanatical fans of dick on Fanadik
they swam nearly two miles under a dark sky until they reached the long deserted Fanadik
ratemygardenstate dot com
wanting to give Kento a difficult second bum for his birthday
Garden S#!t
peameal bacon
I could take a picture of a piece of s#!t in my toilet and it would be a better movie than Garden State
Individual D's difficult second bum
Individual D's difficult second album
Individual D also stated that Hastert at one point put a "'Lazy boy' type chair in direct view of the shower stalls in the locker room where Hastert sat while the boys showered," the filing says
knaekbrod
This technique is virtually obsolete, however, because modern firearms do not use a ramrod
This early performer was clubbed to death with his own gun by an angry assistant
pink colon fucking, perfect
being slain by an Austrian stink gale troll, eh
being slain by an Australian killer ghost net
P!nk Colon Fuckin' Perfect
just now realising that Waterworld is old enough to drink pee
just now realising that Waterworld is old enough to drink
mentally adding ", eh" to every sentence Kevin Costner says
I talk a lot cos you don't talk at all
Watersportsworld
peeing Rube Goldberg's drink
bottoming for Whoopi Goldberg in Waterworld
Kevin Costner's Whoopi Goldberg pee drinking machine
drinking Rube Goldberg's pee
Kevin Costner's Rube Goldberg pee drinking machine
wondering whether the Universal logo is silent because the viewer would be in space
wondering if the extensive references to walruses on the regret index was just part of an elaborate plot to attract, and eventually bang, Kento Ikeda
wondering if the extensive references to pedophiles on the regret index was just part of an elaborate plot to attract, and eventually bang, Xanthe Mallett
not that you asked
she's on the list
Xanthe Mallett goes on patrol with Australian Customs Fisheries to hunt for killer ghost nets
hacky hacks that don't work, but look like they might
replacing the whole of the "watch" to the equals sign on a country restricted YouTube video with "v forwardslash" in order to bypass the restriction
if I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around
keeping the King of England outta your face
the British Bulldog's gonna win whether he wants to or not
the waiting is the hardest part
you take it on faith, you take it to the heart
to be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield wax paper
an implicit request for back channel communication, if you know what I mean
an implicit request for back channel communication
lack of recognized statehood leaves the population feeling like aliens yearning to return to the safety and familiarity of their own home
ET is hugely popular in Western Sahara
etblog dot eh
tricking a straight guy into circumnavigating ET Blog, eh
tricking a straight guy into circumnavigating the globe
being a minimalist dating another minimalist
not tricking a straight guy into circumcizing another straight guy plunging Jewel's crapper
not tricking a straight guy into circumcizing another straight guy
plunging Jewel's crapper
Tzatziki
Tzitzimimeh
me and a man with a mohawk on his head
dear diary today I wrote about my feelings on the internet
finger coke at CMUA
oh, you make me happy in my everyday life
you drink the wise blood
time enough at last
it looks like there has been some sort of gaypocalypse, and all the straight men and women have died out
Super PACs and Where to Find Them
stuffed crust pizza
Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face
learning all the elements in the docile bit rape in order
Pokemon Super PACs and Superpredators
political and social theories that sound like they were an attempt to re frame Solarbabies as a documentary
predicting the rise of rude rape sports among teenagers in the nineties, only for them never to happen at all
rude rape sports
superpredators
three minutes of Playtime Fontaine
you'll really have to open the door in order to do that
I wanna reach out and grab ya
three minutes of play time
open the door it's cold out here
who's there
knock, knock
how did you know I was eating a hot dog now
Pokemon I Try to Say Goodbye and I Choke
try taking the hotdog out of your mouth first
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Wrecked Colon A Kento Ikeda Story
Rogue Colon A Kento Ikeda Story
Rogue One Colon A Star Wars Story
the ghost of Sylvia Browne
wondering who regretted the death of Sylvia Browne
picking a peck of pickled peckers
not getting pickled
circumcised baby kosher Jews
circumcised baby kosher dills
ab urbe condita
whole baby kosher dills
Pokemon You and The Land Are Twin Long Rods #Two
Humans Get Aroused When Touching Cloth, New Study Shows
Humans Get Aroused When Touching Boobs, New Study Shows
Humans Get Aroused When Touching Robots, New Study Shows
Pokemon You and The Land Are One
you and the land are one
Kocktails With Khloe
Punch RockGroin putting a finger in your anus
Punch RockGroin
putting a finger in your anus
the Antonin Scalia School Of Law
frubic hair
frubes
eating gogurt
being forward
Sly Zoo Thong, eh
being frogurt
Holy Ghost Zone
almost, but not quite, thinking it would be worth it if Donald Trump turned out to have been Sacha Baron Cohen all along
we're gonna build a wall and pay Borat for it
we're gonna build a wall and pay the Sicilians for it
Besides the fraud accusations, a separate lawsuit claimed that Trump SoHo was developed with the undisclosed involvement of convicted felons and financing from questionable sources in Russia and Kazakhstan
I told you, officer, I'm not hepped up on goofballs
Come on over the border and here's a gift basket of teddy bears and soccer balls
Seeing all the green and gold and the green and gold until I'm dead and cold paraphernalia everywhere
losing your virginity to a selkie
being froward
always figuring that it was supposed to be a one and a zero
never really understanding the origins of the power standby symbol or why it became so prevalent and always thinking of the Quake logo when you see it, which is probably why the Quake logo looked like that, come to think of it
software that still uses an image of a three and a quarter floppy disk, as if anyone born in the last two decades has ever used one
you can take a ladder to the shadows and forget
the University of Northern New Jersey
everybody wants to eat a cat
everybody wants to be a cat
Kevin Bacon's tomb
Randall Jarrell, Jedi Knight
misremembering The Woodsman as a mid nineties movie, and only remembering it at all over claims that it would destroy Kevin Bacon's career
Frank uses his dental skills to place his own teeth into his dead brother's skull, and then sets fire to the dental office with Harlan's corpse, replete with replaced teeth, left inside
watching That's My Boy that one time and thinking while it wasn't really a good movie and was definitely uncomfortable material once you started thinking about it in depth, it really wasn't as bad as people made out
the death of Macho Man Randall Jarrell
the death of Randall Jarrell
We know you already have blue ticks but ours isn't caught off sheep
She was a really good friend, and one of the best actresses and performers that I've ever had the pleasure to work with, and I'm just glad that I had the opportunity to soddomize her and call her a friend
being pretty sure that eating all those dried strawberries and then those baked beans has made your farts smell of strawberries
the ludicrously tragic
the tragically ludicrous
She was a really good friend, and one of the best actresses and performers that I've ever had the pleasure to work with, and I'm just glad that I had the opportunity to work with her and call her a friend
the death of Erik Bauersfeld regrets about creaming fish
the death of Erik Bauersfeld
regrets about creaming fish
you're a Kento girl, in your Kento world, life's fantastic, being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Kento's three fashion gift set
Kento's spy squad secret agent motorcycle
Kento's dream house
Kento's dream job
wanted colon busty boys
the only thing that got a laugh from you was imagining the casting call the producers must have sent out to talent agencies seeking a "thirteen year old boy with breasts large enough to convincingly play a young Kevin James"
usually even the shittiest comedies can pull off a half decent, juvenile sight that can get me to crack half a smile, but this is truly the least funny comedy ever made
watching Pixels on the flight back to Kodiak just to see if it really was as bad as it seemed, and SPOILER ALERT it really was worse
Dennis the Menace
Dennis the Menace
having nipples so pale that they appear to be nearly invisible pornographic music video
having nipples so pale that they appear to be nearly invisible
pornographic music video
wondering what it would cost to get Elly Jackson and Rachel Stevens to do a duet cover of Upside Down, with a non pornographic music video
getting through college classes by saying Dracula is about blowjobs
Dracula
reverse necrophilia
From beyond the grave, ex Mossad chief slams Netanyahu
REGRETS ABOUT SCREAMING FISH
REGRETS ABOUT PONY BELLOWING
Former Time exec blows "This Old Horse" pony
opening up your carburettor and letting your ca' start
opening up your heart and letting your lovin' start
regrets about GIRL GUIDE eating
regrets about brownie eating
regrets about bronie plowing
blowing all the jabronis in the wrestling stable out of order
blowing all the jabronis in the wrestling stable in order
Former Time exec buys "Loutish Sod, Eh" brand
Former Time exec buys "This Old House" brand
drawing a picture of Hillary Clinton saying "Yeah, take a good long look ya homo, pasta fazool" to Bernie Sanders as they stand peeing into urinals
jabbing at Sanders in the bathroom at church, I'm walkin' here
blowing all the ponies in the stable in order
The Latest Colon Clinton, at Brooklyn church, jabs at Sanders
the death of Sylvia Browne, blowing a pony
blowing a pony in the bathroom at church
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the semen out of a pony trope
blowing the California ponies
drawing a picture of Kento being punk'd by Ashton Kutcher and a pony
blowing a pony in his own stable
blowing a pony who looked a lot like Christina Ricci
making out with that girl who turned out to be a pony
bragging about pony blowing
ringing Demi Moore's doorbell and accidentally flushing the pool, if you know what I mean
ringing Demi Moore's doorbell and accidentally flushing the pool
taking the hugest poo
they drowned in poo
really hoping it turns women on that your social life currently consists of little more than making fun of people's names because they drowned in poo
Edenilson, the premiere US made television received of the nineteen fifties
we named the dog Edenilson
naming your child Edenilson
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years
GOP Fear Donald Trump as Zombie Candidate
drawing a picture of Demi Moore and Michael Barrymore high fiving at the pool
fatworld dot wikia dot org, for all your faded movie star biography needs
Moore currently weighs in at six hundred and three lbs
vaguely remembering something about Indecent Proposal II where Demi Moore plays an aging cougar who pays for sex with a younger man but it might have been either a dream or maybe a memory fragment from another quantum timeline
Parasite Colon The Movie
giving away lolcolon dot com
LOL Colon The Movie
the life of a comedian whose only act was impersonating JFK
Ham McIronSmack
not remembering whether GI Jane was an action adventure, a drama, a biopic, or a Down Periscope style comedy
Rod HamBolt
seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years
Man who drowned in Demi Moore's poo identified, remembered as 'a great kid' and 'a shitty swimmer'
Man who drowned in Demi Moore's pool identified, remembered as 'a great kid' and 'a lousy swimmer'
Rick HardPec
toughguy namegeneratorfun dot com
filling the bath tub with your own fecal matter and drowning a man in it
SHITTING in the bath tub
farting in the bath tub
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a dodecahedron when you were a Platonic ideal
Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye
Flowers by Algernon
Aldi scraps name of 'tapir yellow' paint after complaints from sexual assault victim
Aldi scraps name of 'rape yellow' paint after complaints from sexual assault victim
Mr Wey took to twitter to call out his "victory"
arresting a king in his own jungle room
being cold cocked by Myke Hawke
being laid out by Myke Hawke
round and round
in side out and
you turn me
boy
up side down
inexplicably vomiting while touching a little girl down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain
I think that might be the foulest regret I've ever written and I apologize
inexplicably weeping while touching a little girl down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain
inexplicably weeping like a little girl while touching down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring chimichurri
inexplicably weeping like a little girl while touching down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain
chimichurri
inexplicably weeping like a little girl while touching cloth in Kodiak five minutes after the bleachers close
inexplicably weeping like a little girl while touching down in Kodiak five minutes after the bleachers close
inexplicably weeping like a little girl while listening to Here Without You
wanting to make Kento grate cheese for his birthday
wanting to build an Eiffel Tower and make Kento pay for it for his birthday
wanting to make Kento great again for his birthday
President Erdogan is threatening to sue anyone who insults him
Myke Hawke's Punch Out!!
now with added red rum
now with added murder
Daesh tobacco sauce
wanting to make Kento an Ouch my toes are burining for his birthday
Dash tobacco sauce
When leaders decide to retire they pass their leadership title to the next person by having sexual intercourse with them
jacking Brian Pepper Melt
melting Brian Pepper Jack
Quilted Northern Rustic Weave
meeting Brian Pepper Jack
tricking a straight gouda into dating another straight gouda
Asian House Assails Donald Trump Proposal to Let White Allies Get Nuclear Weapons
White House Assails Donald Trump Proposal to Let Gay Allies Get Nuclear Weapons
White House Assails Donald Trump Proposal to Let Fat Allies Get Nuclear Weapons
White House Assails Donald Trump Proposal to Let Asian Allies Get Nuclear Weapons
grilling the California cheese
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the fondue out of a shoe trope
regrets about paneer blowing
rubbing one out in the creamery at church
sucking her left one until she had a briegasm
cheesejaculating
when the cheese starts flowing Kraft gets your noodle going
Petronilla de Grandmesnil
CHRYSOTILE reporter Lois Lane's inability to spell
VERSATILE reporter Lois Lane's inability to spell
BOTTOM reporter Lois Lane's inability to spell
having dinner with Donald Trump on one of the many nights he decided to whip it out
Peter Pan flew with children, Lois, on Krypton he would have been sealed in a mirror and shot into space
"I'm not going to take it off the table," Trump said
sex and drug orgies in the senior citizens' home
top reporter Lois Lane's inability to spell
Tom Hardy mumbles a lot about pelts
the woman Ursa, whose perversions and unreasoning hatred of all mankind has threatened even the children of the planet Krypton
being ass popular as Kento
wondering whether Anonymous Rebel knows his name is an anagram of Baloney's Manure
being as popular as Kento
being as popular as the rentboy stepchild of a redheaded mule's broccoli
being as popular as the rented stepchild of a redheaded mule's broccoli
redheaded broccoli
it's like twenty dollars, if that means anything to you
I don't know the conversion and I don't know any hardboiled cockney gumshoes to convert it for me
what is that like a pound
a hundred kroner says he was a vegan
'Violent' passenger arrested after doing yoga, meditating on plane
Yoga Hosers
North Korea warns of new famine as Kim Kardashian's weight, belligerence balloon
North Korea warns of new famine as Kim's weight, belligerence balloon
Penis the Menace
not being able to tell whether Anonymous Rebel is a new spambot or a new regular
wondering if Babe Didrikson and Dave Coulier are related reheated broccoli
strong becomes weak or even less
wondering if Babe Didrikson and Dave Coulier are related
reheated broccoli
Jackson C Frank's demon tits woe
your stupid weak meat body
Mark Zukerberg is a Jew and probably siding with Hillary because Israel owns her! I am only guessing the source of this!
chadwick
shooting pieces of "diet moon stew"
shooting pieces of "wet moon tides"
shooting pieces of "Swede mint, too"
shooting pieces of "demon tits woe"
shooting pieces of "tide snot, meow"
shooting pieces of "Ed's wet motion"
shooting pieces of "modest townie"
shooting pieces of "Domino's tweet"
shooting pieces of "Sodomite newt"
shooting pieces of "moistened tow"
fingering Bad Ron
foreign branding
blowing to cums
coming to blows
constantly eating from a bag of lollies and being unable to stop, if you know what I mean
constantly eating from a bag of spring onions and being unable to stop
constantly eating from a bag of dicks and being unable to stop
constantly eating from a bag of lollies and being unable to stop
strictly diddling Bo Diddley in the street in Bo District
Shave a Cock With Bo District
Shave a Cock With Warwick
Share a Cock With Kento
Share a Colon With Bort
Share a Coke With Ruttiger
Share a Coke With Bort
taking a selfie of Kento being colon annihilated by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Passanger Ben Innes posing for a selkie with plane hijacker Seif Eldin Mustafa
Passanger Ben Innes posing for a selfie with plane hijacker Seif Eldin SIMBA
Passanger Ben Innes posing for a seifie with plane hijacker Self Eldin Mustafa
Passanger Ben Innes posing for a selfie with plane hijacker Seif Eldin Mustafa
Mortal Kolon Two Colon Kento Annihilation
Mortal Kento Two Colon Annihilation
Femoral Colon
IMMORAL Colon
IMMORTAL Colon
he had withdrawn after hearing that President Bush's campaign was scheming to smear his daughter with a computer altered photograph and to disrupt her wedding
drawing a picture of Ray Bolger just plain wearing out Judy Garland
Mortal Kolon
sir, with all due respect, that's the argument of a five year old
eating a mean, a racist, and very, very, very devilish pizza
eating mean, a racist, and very, very, very devilish
being a reindeer meat, feta cheese, and tuna pizza
being mean, a racist, and very, very, very devilish
eating a reindeer meat, feta cheese, and tuna pizza
Samurai Cop
your girlfriend won't let me do you mom
the Pope won't let me do you mom
the Pope won't let me do your girlfriend
my girlfriend won't let me do the Pope
Patty Duke dies at sixty nine
long enough for him to grow a beard, but not long enough for his eye makeup to wear off underneath the Batman mask they got from Party City
the a is for anal
topping for Keister A Arthur in Nail to the Chief XXI
Kento Ikeda, Mother of Dugongs
Woman Warns Others To Never Poo During A Date After Killing Spree Goes Terribly Wrong
Gordon is a moron
Gordon having an epic resting bitch face
Tapirnomics
Rapin' Ronnie Reagan
Albino Sauce
Batmano Sauce
Alfredo Sauce
Woman Warns Others To Never Poo During A Date After Toilet Time Goes Terribly Wrong
Son of woman decapitated by his dad says his mum had been seeing a 'few blokes' before the killing, good show, old chap
Son of woman decapitated by his dad says his mum had been seeing a 'few blokes' before the killing
Nurse who photographed patient's genitals surrenders license seeing a green door and wanting ot paint it red
then she did that joke about her having giant, mannish hands, Jospeh Gordon Levitt and John Lithegow argued with the judge, and French Stuart interrupted with a massage from the Bug Giant Head
Kristen Johnson pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disseminating of unlawful surveillance photos, and as part of a plea deal agreed to give up her license and spend three years on probation
Nurse who photographed patient's genitals surrenders license
seeing a green door and wanting ot paint it red
green to red
having non consensual sex with Signora Pinon
having non consensual sex with pinion organs
having non consensual sex with Iran spooning
it radically reduces the era's thematic conflicts to simplistic struggles over personal and erotic power
Recipients of four winged bat logo brands are at this very moment, basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full
When Bruce Wayne discovers sexual predators or human traffickers, he suits up and brands their flesh with his winged bat logo
The corporations that produce movies like this one, and the ambitious hacks who sign up to make them, have no evident motive beyond their own aggrandizement
halving swan swansensual dinosaur sex WITHOUT B poor sinning
Search Results IS SNAKES OUT THERE DIS BIG
knowing that a swan still loves a woman, hoo, and a woman still loves a swan
knowing that a man still loves a woman, woo, and a woman still loves a man
youlegumers
metubers
Easter egg hunt turns ugly after being 'bum rushed' by parents
youtubers
His brother Khalid blew himself in the Brussels subway
Eiffel Towering noise
pony blowing noise
wank noise
wang noise
peener noise
Johnson noise
that fixed it
in the advanced options tab, unchecking 'Allow pages to seek vengeance from beyond' will restore functionality
your browser is haunted
ghost regrets
the random regret generator is giving you blank regrets to vote on
defining weird
something weird is going on
beating off George Takei's dick and attaching it to William Shatner's face
cutting off Nichelle Nichol's face and attaching it to William Shatner
cutting Nicolas Cage's face off John Travolta, remembering to cut off John Travolta's face as well and then reattaching Nicolas Cage's face to John Travolta
cutting off Nicolas Cage's face and attaching it to John Travolta
getting high from a holy vein
Staff said it was a paprika seasoning mixing with the hummus
By far the absolute worst service I've ever experienced
Ordered the mac & cheese bacon burger and loved all of it besides the bun
vGuy Fieri for Vendetta
Dong chong xia cao
Hulkamania running wild on you
vGuy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen & Bar
Ophiocordyceps unilateralis
that's a helluva penis, Bobby
One child's narrow urethra divides China
wanting to make Kento a walrus consomme for his birthday
ordering a consomme of those bazookas
ordering a consignment of those bazookas
getting a load of those bazookas
his entire contract is "buddy can you spare a dime"
the star of Aztec Rex
wondering how much Ian Ziering got paid for the first Sharknado film and how much it would cost to get him in one of your films
the guy sure looks like plant food to me
Philippine mayor guns for presidency on crime kill campaign
Chanandler Beech
Chanandler Bong
Pussy Monster is the best
Cookie Monster is the best
Frank Gaffney and Glenn Beck insist that COOKIE MONSTER Norquist is secretly a terrorist aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood and, for that reason, should be banished from the National Rifle Association's board
Frank Gaffney and Glenn Beck insist that Grover Norquist is secretly a terrorist aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood and, for that reason, should be banished from the National Rifle Association's board
cronuts' disease
es carnal de burro
it was the most fun any spectator could have asked for
that Chris Lydon's botched anal lip cross attempt at the Twenty Fourteen World Eiffel Towering Championships put an end to Kento Ikeda's professional career
the double dong experiment
the double slit experiment
carnal spoils
anal lip cross
rapscallions electroplating Ryan's privates
rapscallions
electroplating Ryan's privates
depilating Ryan's privates
deprogramming Ryan's privates
socializing Ryan's privates
privatizing Ryan's privates
privately knifing Ryan
knifing Ryan's privates
Knifing Private Ryan
orcnuts
Razoring Private Ryan
cronuts
KNIFING your privates
taking the dampest hug
taking the hugest dwnp
Hand Job Stimulator
Hand Job Simulator
Job Simulator
I'm not an able seaman, I'm a DISABLED ADMIRAL
I'm not a sailor, I'm a captain
the first to get their balls into Mr Bucket wins
you hitler
it's a form of oppression
like literally every time I do a little bushcraft you have to mention it
I really wish you'd stop spying on me
razoring your privates
Bryan Singers Butthole Creek
bottoming for Aman Fuckman, Crease Pain and Willy Pullman in Butthole Shock VII
bottoming for Owen and Luke Wilson in Butthole Rocket VII
not being perpetually surprised that Eddie Vedder is still alive
not knowing the right way to rub a genie in a butthole
being perpetually surprised that Aretha Franklin is still alive
glowing kid cub
going buck wild
rekt
Seep Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
Soak Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
Straight Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
See Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
juice diet
wondering what Demi Moore ate to produce enough liquid poo to fill a pool
sitting on it, Potsie
The Pernicious Poo of Demi Moore
living to regret getting Demi Moore's poo in your lungs
getting Demi Moore's poo in your lungs
getting a dump on your chest
getting a weight off your ass
Bruce Wayne Arrested for Allegedly Running 'Prostitution Enterprise' in Texas
United Airlines Pilot Arrested for Allegedly Running 'FULLY FUNCTIONAL Prostitution Enterprise' in Texas
United Airlines Pilot Arrested for Allegedly Running 'Prostitution Enterprise' in Texas
FUCK MY ROBOT PUSSY DADDY I'M SUCH A BAD NAUGHTY ROBOT
the death of Gary Shandling
My Big Fat Greek Webring
Campania, especially the province of Caserta and Castel Volturno, is one of the main gateways into Europe for those who want to become a terrorist
Microsoft is deleting its AI chatbot's incredibly racist tweets
Back to the Big Fat Greek Wedding
The Big Fat Greek Wedding Crashers
My Big Fat Greek Wedding Colon Aegean of Ultron
My Big Fat Greek Monetary Crisis
Greek Hard With a Vengeance
My Big Fat Greek Wedding III Colon My Biggest, Fattest, Greekest Wedding
Myke Hawke Fat Greek Wedding
My Big Fat Gay Asian Colon
My Fat Gay Asian Wedding
My Big Fat Greek Wedding II Colon My Bigger, Fatter, Greeker Wedding
Forest Finns
the story of Whipping Tom being evidence that creepypasta existed at least as early as the seventeenth century
Tom would wait in dark alleys for unsuspecting ladies out and about at night, grab them, lift up their skirts and beat 'an Alarum' upon 'their Tobies' with his bare hand as he cried out 'Spanko!'
the offspring of the Lover of Smut
the specific duty of defending the Moon against a dragon which tries to eat it on occasion during a lunar eclipse
Montbars the Exterminator
the only Caribbean island which was a Swedish colony for any significant length of time
David Letterman's striking retirement look
old speckled pants
old heckled pens
Last Breath, Let Us Prey, Lewd Archives, Lower Extremities, Luciano's Lucky Ladies, Man Smokers, Oral Hygiene, SIDS, Slap Happy, Spank Those Bitches, Spare Parts, The Adventures Of Mammary Man And Jugg Woman, The Adventures Of Porno Man, Whack Attack
Extreme Teen, Extremely Yours, Face Down Ass Up, Filth Files, Filthy Lil' Porn A Bees, From the Balcony, Fuck Pigs, Geisha Gash, German Whore Fare, Ghetto Bitches, Go Fuck Yerself, Goo Gallery, Great American Ass, House of Whores, In The Days of Whore
Anal Blitzkrieg, Ass Clowns, Ass Hole O Mio, Big Fat FN Tits, Black Cock Smokers, Cock Smokers, Cock Suckers, Cocktails, Creampie Milkshakes, Cum Catchers, Depravity in Deutschland, Euro Cuntz, Extreme Amateurs, Extreme Brazil, Extreme Gang Bang
No Country For Old Striated Men
Number Two's Fully Functional Number One, Number One Colon Number One In The World's Filthiest Data Wee Tales Series
old striated man
when you consider how filthy the average Data wee tale is, that's a really high bar
the world's filthiest Data wee tales
apparently he just has a long chin
literally remembering as soon as you write about your frustration with not being able to remember
it was the motherfucking Spin Doctors, fuck those guys
spending a really long time trying to figure out the name of that band, you know the one, they had like one hit, the frontman had a foot long ginger pharaoh beard, you'll be kicking yourself when you remember the name
wondering if Tom Cruise has ever been cruising
wondering if Tom Cruise has ever been to Belgium
wondering if Ted Cruz has ever been to Belgium
Those Homosexual people work like kids
Those Oriental people work like dogs
Belgium Colon Europe's Florida
the Danakil Depression
finding it weird when people talk about Europe's open borders as a problem but don't mention that the US has essentially the same arrangement with the stronger federal oversight that Europe lacks, and manages just fine on twice the land area
Luxembourg
the world's wealthiest failed state
throwing shapes
throwing shade
old piebald man
old speckled man
don't put words in my mouth
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about female swans
a female swan called a penis
a female swan is called a pen
old speckled pen
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento, that magnificent bastard
old speckled hen
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento not getting circumcised
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento fucking Earthlink
that you vow that from now on you will not write any sexual regrets about Kento blowing a pony
the death of Rob Ford
getting a thimble full of sour green apple Slurpee in Minneapolis
Apoplexy working with the nutmeg grater
Mantong
We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities
at several high schools around the US it appears that shouting "Trump" has evolved into a kind of taunt, used by largely white students at minority opponents during, say, basketball games
Michael C Ford has been sentenced to four years and nine months in prison, having pleaded guilty to running a sextortion phishing operation from his work computer at the US embassy in London for two years
Pokemon Breast Milk And Acne Skin Care Scott Stapp Wrinkles
Breast Milk And Acne Skin Care Scott Stapp Wrinkles
Trump Stapp Twenty Sixteen
endorsing yeast day
President Donald Tusk
scott stapp face cream
To help and every celebrity endorsed yeast day studied great impressed scott stapp face cream dermatologist recommended skin care products for acne
As you age bed ethnic field the reception ceramides are skin's phytoceramides customer scott stapp wrinkles skin care products made in israel
type of ultraviolet light that causes skin aging scott stapp wrinkles Of safety of regularly bulbous critics novel make a stretch phytoceramides at results
trying to say "Scott Stapp's skin" three times fast
drawing a picture of Greg Evigan feeling sorry for Dave Coulier and inviting his chimpanzee over to give him a hand job
drawing a picture of Greg Evigan pairing off with John Stamos and Paul Reiser with Bob Saget to braid penises, while Dave Coulier sits in the corner and sadly masturbates to pictures of Alanis Morissette
wanting to make Kento chocolate curry rice for his birthday
Trump Barron Twenty Sixteen
John Barron
drawing a picture of Ryan wiping cleft
drawing a picture of Ryan wiping left
drawing a picture of Ryan swiping left
I was running out of space
you forgot Reginald VelJohnson and James Avery
getting Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, Dick Butkus, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan, John Stamos, Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier to make ads for Grindm, the gay dad app
really they should have had the foresight to attract the gay dad crowd by calling it grindm
SCRUFF used GRINDER! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! KENTO fainted!
drawing a picture of Kim Kardashian being Eiffel Towered by Bill Saluga and William Ray Norwood, Jr
updating your old Kindle before March twenty second
grindr, I hardly know her
putting in profiles "No Asians", "No Blacks" or "No femmes", and referring to people of color as food, such as "No chocolate", "No curry", and "No rice"
fearing that Ryan will come back, and, finding that His commandments hath been ignored, His wroth shall wax large upon the children of regret
I'm sick of him already
fearing that Ryan will come back, look at the comments, and assume that his regret site has turned into the next grindr
Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me J, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junie, or you can call me Junior, now you can call me Ray J, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ, or you can call me RJJ Jr
I needed a bit of variety in my toy selection and decided to seek out a new addition at a Lover's Lane in Chicago
Pokemon Birds and Dildos
From the "Bicoid Babe" she took a large bust and hips, but was not obsessed with birds or dildos
Pokemon Gin and Vermouth
taking that voluptuous woman's large bust and hips from the communal laundry room
From the "voluptuous woman" she took a large bust and hips, but was not vulgar or lewd
Gibson Girl
The Enemy is Still Here!
The Enemy is Here!
a mixed drink made with gin and vermouth, and often garnished with a pickled onion
a Masonic plot backed by the Jews
Hutton Gibson
wishing you had the voice for singing U R I N A T E, find out what it means to pee at a urinal
Belle Gibson
I wanna take my time stroking you, baby, if you don't mind
Frank William Gay
Donald Fuck runs afoul of an Irishman
bottoming for Donald Fuck and Roofie Rat in Cleveland Steamboat Willies VII
Markov Zelnickova, Jedi Knight
Donald Trump's former brother in law and chief speechwriter, Markov Zelnickova
Donald, fuck
Ivana Trump's former brother in law and chief speechwriter, Markov Zelnickova
imagining that Donald Trump's speechs are assembled mostly by a custom See 'n Say toy filled with reactionary talking points
Increasingly agitated, Trump continued, declaring he would both "deport" and "build a wall around" Israel
"When I become president, the days of treating Israel like a second class citizen will end on Day One," Trump vowed, confusing an independent nation state with an individual and apparently unaware that he had spent the entire day advocating isolationism
Ram Buttpat
it means your future hasn't been written yet! No one's has! Except those predestined puppets back in the past! Every action they perform, every thought and impulse they have, is already set in stone! They have no free will, Marty! No free will at all!
it erased
partial butt nudity
Pat Buttram
The Democratic party commits itself to continuing efforts to eradicate all racial, religious, and economic discrimination
Defiant Mitch McConnell Holds Merrick Garland's Severed Head Aloft In Front Of Capitol Building
giving someone your last olo
giving someone your last Rolo
after straining, heaving and complaining
wondering if anybody ever tried to license Duran Duran's "Wild Boys" to advertise wild rice, since you wouldn't even need to re record it
drowning in Ashton Kutcher's loo
Came to a lost fork in the sea, so I took it
Ashton Kutcher lOO% thinks the plural of journalist is "journalist"
drawing a picture of Donald Trump making Kento shrimp and cilantro taquitos for his birthday
wanting to autotune some Donald Trump speeches so that he's saying positive things about Mexico in his trademark style, like "I'm going to learn to make taquitos" and "Iztapalapa is a beautiful city, I own a golf course there" and so on
Donald Trump wants to build a wall on the Mexican border and based on his tone he also wants to fuck that wall
Texas man caught having sex on Las Vegas Ferris wheel killed in Houston carjacking
illudium phosdex
mixing radish juice and carrot juice
the scene where Daffy Duck and Donald Duck are playing a piano duel, and, during his trademark ranting gibberish, it is claimed that Donald calls Daffy a "goddamn stupid ginger"
Steven! It's Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Harwell! You know that new sound you're looking for, well, listen to this!
wanting to make Kento "chocolate" for his birthday
wanting to make Kento buttered dumplings for his birthday
wanting to make Kento shrimp and cilantro taquitos for his birthday
Mr Trump also claimed he would be willing to grant 'just a peek' at his planned acceptance speeches for the NBA Championship, Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress, and the Manitoba Actuarial Society Man of the Year, which he will 'definitely' win
Donald Trump says he's planning to release a list of pinko commie jew traitor mexicans that he will have killed if he's elected president
Elvis Presley's monster quif
Donald Trump says he's planning to release a list of judges that he would select from to fill Supreme Court vacancies if he's elected president in an effort to ease concerns about his picks
when a man blows a large amount of air into a woman's vagina, then inserts his penis promptly before the ensuing monster quif
Marty McMurder
wondering how the murder of Biff's gang at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance changes the future
I think he stole this movie
I think he took his wallet
Marion Tumen, Prostitute at Steak n Shake Dumpster
Marion Tumen, Prostitute at Palace Saloon
spending an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out who the extra who played the short haired blonde in Cafe Eighties is
blowing the MC at a Trump rally, u can't touch this
wishing you had inseminated a woman and therefore had some kind of biological excuse for all the dad jokes you think up
wishing you had the voice for singing Old Man River at a urinal
blowing the MC at a Trump rally
the scene where Daffy Duck and Donald Duck are playing a piano duel, and, during his trademark ranting gibberish, it is claimed that Donald calls Daffy a "goddamn stupid nigger"
I'm going to cook you a vegan steak dinner and I'm going to hold the beef
wondering if there are neon signs at every Trump Entertainment Resort saying "Emcee Blow Risk"
I'm going to cook you a steak dinner and I'm going to hold the beef
wondering if there are neon signs at every Trump Entertainment Resort saying "Welcome Bikers"
Jaden Smith as the Karate Dog
the way that Back to the Future II signposts the economic decay of Hill Valley not just by depicting numerous violent crimes in progress but by having black people move into Marty's old neighborhood
when a joke laps itself
considering writing the regret "wondering when there will be a ReBoot reboot" and then looking it up and, oh, it's in production now
wondering if Elisabeth Shue gets hotter later on in the movie or if you only found her attractive in the Karate Kid
apparently it's owned by the creators or something, and they don't want to do that
Jaden Smith as Marty McFly and, let's say, Chris Rock as Doc Brown
wondering how it is possible that the Back to the Future franchise has somehow up to this point avoided the Sequel slash Remake slash Reboot frenzy that has struck every other eighties property
bottoming for Cock Brown and Farty McCreampie in Bareback to the Future VII
Marty can't wait to take the new, hotter Jennifer his time travel escapades created somewhere public and fingerbang the hell out of her
it's your kids, Marty! One of them is refusing to get braces and the other won't save for his retirement, and I can't get them to understand how that's going to turn out for them!
Woman Who Urinates Syrup Toppings on Herself
hoping that Kirk Cameron will reprise his one episode role from Full House on season two of Fuller House, because you really want him to see him get banged by literally hundreds of guys
plus, you know, getting banged by literally hundreds of guys
hoping that Kirk Cameron will reprise his one episode role from Full House on season two of Fuller House, because you really want him to lecture Stephanie on how she's going to hell for believing in evolution
When the Wind Blows Kirk Cameron's Colon Saving Christmas
Women Who Shit a Snore Funeral
viewing Cold War era scaremongering apocalypse porn with the same "I'm so glad I'm not dumb enough to fall for this" attitude as, say, Kirk Cameron's Colon Saving Christmas
Woman Who Urinates on Herself
stopping Threads for the second time to take a break
Sauna With Winkles
Sauna With Mussels
Sana With Muscles
not being sure you'll be able to watch the last forty minutes of Sana With Muscles, because fucking hell
not being sure you'll be able to watch the last forty minutes of Threads, because fucking hell
jamming the lamb
slamming the clam
CHARLESQUEENIO
Elizabethkingia
in an urban society, everything connects
men getting mounted on the Strand
stranding men on Mount Get In
stranding men on Get Mountain
every morning there's a homo hanging from the corner of Kento's tank
McConnell Colon Senate won't vote on Garland because NRA opposes him
Bort's Mother is the unnamed mother of Bort
Hope Hicks
Ritual Bra TV
Viral Tar Tub
Butt Arrival
Virtual Bart
getting stranded on Man Mountain
being the most watched man on TV and having the highest reverse bungee jump
wanting Charles in charge of America
I want him, as any one person can do, to go into Washington and blow it up
He speaks like I speak, he communicates with people very well#
Jean Marie Le Pen endorses Donald Trump
American Sikhs for Trump
Hulk Colon
Hulk Hogan Colon "I want to be Trump's running mate"
bottoming for Biff and his gang in Crack to the Future I
banging your friend's wife off the internet
wondering if there is a gay porn parody of Back to the Future where Biff and his gang take three hundred dollars' worth of car repairs out of Marty's ass
he would straight up fingerbang her in front of the clock tower in broad daylight if she would let him
wondering what Marty's girlfriend sees in him when he's shit at guitar and kind of whiny prior to his time travelling, but then thinking maybe she's just a loser with weird big eyebrows who's into hypnosis
wanting to give Kento a hand job for his birthday beep boop
Shameless Merchandising and the Pricey Poison
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man
RRS Boaty McBoatface
not banging your friend's wife on the internet
banging your friend's wife on the internet
not fighting for the rights of other people to post video of you banging your friend's wife on the internet
I am a real American, fight for the rights of every man
he'd like to meat your meatus and he thinks that you know why
Trump Ikeda Sixty Nine
Trump Ikeda Twenty Sixteen
drawing a picture of David Cameron putting his dick in faux Hulk Hogan's mouth
there's a large ham waiting in the sty
being willing to concede the possibility of Trump hitting members of the audience or even his opponents with a folding chair during a rally or debate, but being unable to accept that Hulk Hogan could win an unscripted fight
feeling the inevitability of the Trump Hogan ticket grow stronger each day
Kento's large hams
being slain by a ham golem
constructing a simulacrum of a nude Hulk Hogan using several large hams, a pile of loose straw, and a baby carrot
GoTrump dot com, for all your screen shots of naked butts from Game of Thrones needs
Donald Trump demands Mitt Romney produce a US death certificate
Donald Trump on Bear Colon 'Are You Sure He Shits in the Woods'
liking your women like you like your pubs, Irish and with bones buried in them
A man's discovery of boners under his pubes could forever change what we know about the Irish
misreading "white pansies" as "shite panties"
the Eiffel Tour de Trump
A man's discovery of bones under his pub could forever change what we know about the Irish
Donald Trump on Mitt Romney Colon 'Are You Sure He's a Mormon'
the Tour de Trump
I haven't seen the tape, but I'd wager it's orange
Testimony touched on media ethics, website analytics and Hogan's statements about his sex life, including descriptions of his genitalia
misreading "white pansies" as "white panties"
peeking Jewel's boob for the first time
hearing the phrase "peek a boob" for the first time
mistakenly accepting a hypergolic gear from a ventriloquist's dummy
chlorine trifluoride
Homo sapiens' sex with extinct species was no one night stand, no homo
like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
KentoTrump dot com
GoTrump dot com
Watch All of Hulk Hogan's Sex Tapes for a Chance To Pay $One Hundred Fifteen Million to Fund Suburban Commando II Colon Back to the 'Burbs
wondering if anybody ever told Mac "Envelope Ghost" Bubble what a contraceptive sponge is
wondering if anybody ever told Bubba "The Love Sponge" Clem what a contraceptive sponge is
British Man Not Awarded $Sixty Million For Emotional Distress After Watching Santa With Muscles
The wrestler, known in court by his legal name, Terry G Bollea, sobbed as the verdict was announced in late afternoon, while Macho Man Randy Savage looked on
Hulk Hogan Awarded $One Hundred Fifteen Million in Birthday Suit Against Gawker
Hulk Hogan Awarded $One Hundred Fifteen Million in Privacy Suit Against Gawker
Aldwych tube station after he comes inside
Kale, on the other hand, is bullshit
Aldwych tube station
after he comes inside
he kentot walrus gumboot
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon wiping his walrus gumboots off after he comes inside
before he comes inside
he go walrus gumbo
drawing a picture of Chris Lydon wiping his walrus gumboots off before he comes inside
he got walrus gumboot
I mean
coming together, right now, over me
secret destroyers
NASA's New Horizons mission has delivered a treasure trove of stolen amateur pornography from the dwarf planet
changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away
wondering if there is room in the award fixtures for a Darwin Awards esque "No Shit, Sherlock" awards event
It's not like the Western countries, you know, it's very strict
if they try to deselect me without due process they will face a legal action from me for lost earnings
The Genius of Dr Spirit Otter
Cops Are Searching for a Hipster Ninja Masturbator in Seattle
fist rape uses scrods
Podcaster's Fissures
Podcaster's Tears
Writer's Tears
sewing rare doors on Rosario Dawson
the deformed, troglodytic bastard child of etsy and instagram that fills up image searches with garbage
on further research it seems to be the deformed, troglodytic bastard child of etsy and instagram
honestly having no idea what Pinterest is
you had your chance
Preen Tits, seriously
bottoming for Hilda of Whitby in Bawdy Filth Ho I
Pinterest, seriously
Hilda of Whitby
bottoming for Will Smith in Insipid Rapes VII
Maewyn Succat, Jedi Knight
Maewyn Succat
watching Up, you might get what you're after
watching out, you might get what you're after
Will Smith's ability to read insipid rapes from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares
Will Smith's ability to read insipid raps from a script in a way that almost sounds like he cares
Rodman Jong un
financing a series of ruinous plutonium dumps by taking free karate lessons when you were a kid
bottoming for Will Smith in Blacks in Men VII
riding an airplane to hell
stabbing the nineties in Reno just to watch them bleed out
watching all three Men in Black movies on an airplane ride a couple of years back
bleeding through
wondering if Will Smith's horrible, horrible civilian outfits in the first Men in Black movie are a deliberate choice to play up the austere black suits of the titular organisation, or just the nineties bleeding through
it just be raining black people in New York
wondering if it is possible to grab your own head and rip it off
financing a series of ruinous wars in Burundi when you were a kid
rumors persist that a vet found strangled by what was thought to be a bizarre, striated ligament in the nineteen nineties had performed illegal baculumectomies for a number of clients
thinking if ever there were an example of a person who is secretly a walrus human hybrid in a wig and bad makeup, it's Christopher Lydon
Fred Durst's diaper porn enthusiasm
Now I know y'all be lovin this shit right here
Orcus
trying to remember the name of the ginger one out of Doctor Who and coming up with "Pingu"
when you were a kid and your school raised a lot of money for Bear Indy and then this bear from Bear Indy came and personally collected the money on behalf of his bears and then they had a twelve year civil war which you almost certainly helped pay for
we named the bear Indy
Bear Whores
twisting your ankle in your sleep
thinking of starting dating again
dream past you sounding so super boring that you really are starting to wonder if you were or if you're just super boring now and lack imagination
being pretty sure that in reality, you don't really leave hoards of your old worn out shoes, weird gardening chemicals, piles of worn clothing, and broken board games wherever you go
dreaming about going to an old ex's, but then when you got there quickly being given a ton of your old crap to sort through like that scene in Labyrinth
Boston Pizza, eh
The Town That Got Fucked By Twinks
I know plenty of you think that this is some kind of joke, but a town of constantly appearing bears is serious
The Town That Got Fucked By Bears
Pokemon Dustin and Legs
Legs Diamond and his mistress were dining in their pajamas in her suite at the Hotel Monticello
thinking if ever there were an example of a person who is secretly a frog human hybrid in a wig and bad makeup, it's Christopher Nolan
I'd give you more than quarter portions for your parts from star destroyers
an alternate reality Hillary where she became fat and supported being obese
when you were a kid and your school raised a lot of money for Burundi and then this guy from Burundi came and personally collected the money on behalf of his country and then they had a twelve year civil war which you almost certainly helped pay for
Denmark world's happiest country, Burundi least
netflix nancies
SCP Six Nine Six Nine Colon Nicki Minaj's dildo microphone
mah na mah na singers in mouse voice
homonymous singers
telling U Thant what you REALLY think of him
having the strangest feeling the one on the left has her face painted like a tiger
the Nicki Minaj image on Wikipedia's video vixens page looking like something cooked up to go with some creepypasta and not sexy at all
what an amazing thing it must have been to attain fleeting fame simply by wearing an absurdly high thong and riding a bike in front of a bunch of clowns pretending to be impressed with you
Les News Dollies
laserdisc ladies
bluray bitches
mononymous singers
dvd dollies
video vixens
YOUR MOM's heteronormative
you're heteronormative
that's heteronormative
asking another guy to jack off on cam for you is pretty gay
no homo means no homo
no means no
so, ummm, you wanna cam
thanks for noticing
you're quite good at turning me on
the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be
drawing a picture of Sean Connery backhanding Calista Flockhart while Harrison Ford looks on
I would watch my dad bang Calista Flockhart if I were not in a relationship
thinking about your dad doing your girlfriend can have that kind of effect
guessing that Harrison Ford hasn't been able to get an erection since around the time of The Last Crusade
Pokemon Irish and Clinging to Harrison Ford's Erect Penis
liking your mayo like you like your librarians, Irish and clinging to Harrison Ford's erect penis
licking Irish mayo off of Harrison Ford's erect penis
The Curious Cans of the Mayo Librarian
Letitia Dunbar Harrison
I V vi IV chord progression
you monster
I just like bras so much
seriously, why did you defile the sanctity of the communal laundry room by stealing that girl's bra, what is wrong with you
yeah, I know
we're terrible people
that if you could average reading one regret per second, it would take you over a day to read all the regrets on the index and you would be a far worse person at the end of it
old soldiers never die, they just blast out the hot shit
assuming that Fred Durst himself is the titular Chocolate Starfish
that if you could average reading one regret per second, it would take you over a day to read all the regrets on the index
more than us, even
Limp Bizkit sure did talk about butt stuff a lot
old school soldiers blasting out the hot shit
one two three times two to the six coming to two hundred twenty one trillion six hundred twenty billion eight hundred sixty three million four hundred sixty eight thousand and ninety six, which is eleven times the number of red blood cells in a human body
Pokemon Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water
DIGNITAS used ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN'! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Fred Durst vs Dignitas
Former 'Subway guy' Jared Fogle bashed in prison ambush
Teresa Heinz Kerry is totally going to sue us in England
Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst Banned by Ukrainian Government Reports
Fred Durst vs dignity
NASA did indeed send ants to the International Space Station to conduct behavioral experiments about collective search in microgravity
A copy of the episode is available for astronauts to watch at the International Space Station
breaking my dick off
wondering why a British rock band would the discarded clothes of homeless people and mutton chops as their signature look, as though Hee Haw Chic were a thing in the summer time when the weather was fine
doing nice hams
Teresa Heinz Kerry in the can
it's not that healthy
SAUSAGE WITH HOMO'S TREADS
SAUSAGE WITH SHAMED TORSO
SAUSAGE WITH DOOM STARS, EH
SAUSAGE WITH MASHED ROOTS
wondering if it is worth peeling a potato and putting it into Teresa Heinz Kerry while heating just to get rid of that disgusting salt
Monkey tears off eight month old baby's testicles as his mother changes his nappy at a Chinese zoo and EATS one before it can be caught
Boron
A raging Frenchman staged an incredible cheese fight with supermarket staff after they caught him stealing his favourite Camembert
wondering why a Swedish dance band would choose overalls and neckerchiefs as their signature look, as though Hee Haw Chic were a thing in the early nineties Scandinavian fashion scene
wondering if it is worth peeling a potato and putting it into a Heinz soup while heating just to get rid of that disgusting salt
Marcie Fleach
turnspit dogs
Fred Durst vs fan who tries to take his cap
wondering why an English pop band would choose overalls and neckerchiefs as their signature look, as though Hee Haw Chic were a thing in the early eighties UK fashion scene
breaking your dick off
Dick Butkus
Den Okologiske Polanski
the way that nearly every character, and certainly every protagonist, in a Woody Allen or Keven Smith film is basically just a tired mouthpiece for the writer
looking through a hotkid menu and being almost tempted enough to get on a plane and go get some, signed, Gary Glitter
Hugh Padgham
Dexy's Dog Walkers
Dexy's Day Walkers
Kento's Midnight Eifflers
looking through a hotdog menu and being almost tempted enough to get on a plane and go get some
Den Okologiske Polsemand
dusting diamonds with Dustin Diamond
Sexy Mr Thunderlips
girthy dude Sting sex
Sexy Grinder Mind Shunt
Sexy Mr Thundering Dins
just using Chrome whenever you want to read a pdf file lately
the way that the latest version of Acrobat Reader opens files in tabs rather than separate windows
the London Twenty Twelve logo looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blow job
that Dexy's Midnight Runners has some really good words contained in it, including sex, dudes, girth, and Sting, but not having the energy to find a full anagram
what strolls in the afternoon, jogs in the evening, and runs at midnight
Dexy's Afternoon Strollers
Dexy's Evening Joggers
You haven't heard the last of them
You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners
watching Roman Polanski's Pocahontas cum on Eileen
watching Roman Polanski's Pocahontas give evidence to genesis
watching Roman Polanski's Pocahontas give evidence to the police
Pato Banton
watching Roman Polanski's Pocahontas
watching Pushahontas
watching Alien vs Prodahontas
watching Prodahontas
watching Pocahontas
playing Dustins and Diamonds with Minnie Pearl
speculating on the plot of the Canadian raunchy teen comedy Sperm Out, Eh, most likely starring Eugene Levy and a young Hayden Christensen and some ponies
speculating on the plot of the Canadian raunchy teen comedy Sperm Out, Eh, most likely starring Eugene Levy and a young Hayden Christensen
signing up for a creepy forum that has to approve your membership before you're even allowed to see anything on it
watching Sperm Out, Eh
What country, by the nature of your error, Should give you harbour
wondering if a crappy personality quiz on a website calling you the female Shia LaBeouf would be grounds for defamation
I have the best ideas and I use the best words, I know a lot of good words
saying that you very much have excellent ideas and feeling like Donald Trump
every reading anything on any gawker site
cocaine slaloms, eh
social chameleons
discovering the depths of your personality and finding out which movie star could play you!
drawing a picture of Demi Moore draining her poo onto Minnie Pearl while the full roster of the San Antonio Spurs watch from a tree and masturbate
draining Demi Moore's poo
The plot revolves around a sexually frustrated JC pursuing his love interest through a monster truck rally, a dirty diner, and, a parking lot, where he tries to seduce Tara Reid, only to be ignored
blowin' me up with her love
Minnie Pearl Colon Saved By the Smell
Pokemon Dustin Diamond and Minnie Pearl sextape
Pokemon Dustin Diamond and Minnie Pearl
Run DMF
bottoming for Dustin Diamond in Dustin Diamond Blowing a Pony VII
run dexys midnight fuckers
fuck dexys midnight runners
fuck genesis
fuck the police
Ballz ThreeD
its kind of like being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond blowing a pony
Man charged in Uber shootings says Kalamazoo app made him do it
its kind of like being a human and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond exist
its kind of like being a wrestler and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond appear as a contestant on Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling
its kind of like being an actor and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond in anything he has ever acted in
its kind of like being a biographer and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond release an autobiography
its kind of like being a pornstar and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond release a sex tape
its kind of like being a jew and seeing, say, Dustin Diamond convert to Judaism
wondering what it feels like as a transgender person to see have completely worthless shitbags like the Wachowskis to join your team
im gur fight co nan
always reading it literally as two syllables, im gur
Selling black panties, a penny a pair
having always read imgur as "I am grrrr" in your head but apparently it is pronounced like "imager"
drawing a picture of the full roster of the San Antonio Spurs releasing their full morning bladders onto Kento
casting magic missile over those black puddings
Kento's golden shower
Uber never should have introduced its new UberMurder app
Man charged in Kalamazoo shootings says Uber app made him do it
yeah, eh
Selling black puddings, a penny a pair
yeah, hi
poor people will die alone
Figures suggest soaring rents make having children financially prohibitive for young couples in southern England and beyond, cheerio
Mary Ann Cotton, she's dead and she's rotten
Kento's golden ratio
Kento's radial symmetry
Prosecutors did not say what they think sparked this act of vandalism
Sensor Equipped Pigeons Are Tweeting About London's Air Pollution
Samurai Cop II Colon Deadly Vengeance
tricking a straight pony i