Do you regret
Martin Pang?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

vote above to find something new to regret; a world of regret awaits you
add a regret; be a cautionary example for others
search for regrets; learn from the lives of others gone awry





add a new regret

How much can you expect to regret ?

a world of regret

Horniman Walrus
Pokemon Cocks and Rocks
correctly reading "cocks" as "cocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
misreading "cocks" as "rocks" and thinking yeah, that's Kento alright
National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn on Friday clarified President Trump's recent remark that "the Germans are bad, very bad"
just kidding, he only likes cocks
Kento's bisexual symmetry
Kento's bilateral symmetry
Irregularia
that Spock's ship from Star Trek Colon Two Colon Thousand Nine was named "Jellyfish," that is stupid as fuck and hilarious
injecting the red matter
Ryanyanrama
whether or not red mercury actually existed was irrelevant to the prosecution
thinking it's probably a blessing that nobody has to hear you say "Gott im himmel! Choco Liebniz!" literally every time you see a packet, and subsequently leave you
bottoming for Bruce Willis in Old Man Action VII
watching Red and then the sequel and thinking maybe you're missing something through not having seen any of the Expendables movies, like maybe it's a parody, but being pretty sure Old Man Action Movies is supposed to be a subgenre now
gin teat vids manager Ryan North
Ryan Polanski
Ryan North managed virgin teats
advertising magnate Ryan North
if the parents of Seth Rich took out a tire iron and beat the living shit out of Sean Hannity for his repulsive lies
it's like they're blocked
you know I don't get any pussies
Mary Poppins with supreme nasal meatus
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via pussies and trying to be helpful
Mary Poppins with tempura
there's more than two of us, unless you've been pretending to be other people again
thinking of google as a fairly stupid dog
I just assumed that it's google tracking us via cookies and trying to be helpful
it was a four hundred million dollar deal, which I guess is a lot for a user base of two people
I guess maybe Ryan has partnered with google to allow regret index userdata to influence youtube recommendations
seriously, what is up with that shit
I have also been receiving these recommendations
youtube recommending you multiple videos of lions fucking tigers for some reason
bottoming for Julie Andrews in My Fair Ladyboy
Mary Poppins with breasts and a penis
the last tempura of Christopher Lydon
the last tempura of Christ
Mary Poppins with depression
Mary Poppins with a penis
Mary Poppins with breasts
Whenever Smogsteed Rider attacks, each other attacking creature gains fear until end of turn
eating four seven layer Doritos loco supreme meatuses from Taco Bell and being up until three am shitting on the toilet
ordering a fourth supreme nasal meatus and not tipping
Winonarama
where a fourth, supreme nasal concha is present, there is a fourth supreme nasal meatus
Swananarama
At first the OED wouldn't have it in its pages and even today the dictionary describes it as the most taboo word in English
This county will not bow to the views of racists, because decent society demands that intolerance is shown to all racists of any sort, however they chose to express their hatred of others, or dislike of others and the abuse that goes with it
e un piccolo mano bastardo
bigly
How the war of words between Trump and Pope Francis has evolved
cognitive decline
the roger of Death Moore
bottoming for Chris Lydon and a walrus in Fun Boy Threeway VII
inside of Bananarama it's too dark to read
People wet their knickers when they find out I was in Bananarama
Pokemon Strong and Stable My Arse
strong and stable my arse
getting Spice World instead of a Bananarama movie
wondering who is going to play The Chief in Spice World II Colon Extra Spicy
the death of Roger Moore
chateau de petit terre
the Dangerous Woman Tour having a dynamite bod
the Dangerous Woman Tour
chapeau de peut etre
chapeau de pretre
the Comey memo sounds savage af
these include the terms "beaver basher," "cranny axe," "custard launcher," "dagger," "heat seeking moisture missile," "mayo shooting hotdog gun," "pork sword," and "yogurt shotgun"
making a really nice chili
A passenger wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and calling fellow air travelers "lesbian" and "Hillary" caused his United Airlines flight from Shanghai to New Jersey to be delayed seven hours
the way splenda foams so much when you put it in a cold liquid
A Mississippi Republican lawmaker who called for the lynching of politicians who approve of the removal of Confederate monuments needs to "quickly clear up his remarks," the state GOP chairman said Monday
promoting the possibility of lasting peach
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the uranus inside a man trope
Uranus, the sideways giant watching Inside Man while inside a man
having a GELIGNITE bod
eAT PANT
killing the guy who killed Hitler
Uranus, the sideways giant
watching Inside Man while inside a man
Dumbledore penis raping a TV
having a dynamite bod
Snaping Private Dumbledore
a child molesting robot is not news, a robot molesting child is
Bees by Dre
a child molesting robot
unlike alcohol bees have never killed anybody and have no ill effects
smoke bees erry day
fourtwenty buzz it
weed but every reference to weed is now a reference to bees
needing to fuck a midget in its deathbed
needing to fuck a midget on its deathbed
not really NEEDING to fuck a midget on your deathbed, but wanting to
wbere
the stench of white mulberry liquid soap
a concept piece wbere Erin Moran follows Eric Morecambe around repeating everything he says in a sullen, sarcastic mumble
the death of Erin Moran like a month ago
Pygram at a Japan Day ceremony in Wagamama
Joanie Loves Cheech and Chong
Nous vide
eight assholes and a token cunt
being loved by Joanie
Sous vide
Pygram at an Australia Day ceremony in Wagga Wagga
ramming things way into pigs with Wayne Pygram
it's only seventy inches and where do I go
Chris Lydon's palpitating a cripple
right now, as we speak
Chris Lydon's crippling a fat gay Asian
Chris Lydon's crippling a puppy
Chris Lydon's crippling anosmia
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring FULLY FUNCTIONAL spirit of Data defecating in the Captain's ready room
midget shavers
midget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring vengeful spirit of Trump defecating on his desk
infested spring
fidget spinners
Anderson Cooper apologizes for conjuring image of Trump defecating on his desk
peg toodle pip pork, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
fuck marry kill, Simon Pegg, Pippa Middleton, Peppa Pig
I would bust that tight pASTERISKASTERISKASTERISKy so hard and so often that you would leak and limp for a week
He allegedly used the alias "T Dog" with her
'I Have a Sickness' Colon Weiner Cries While Pleading Guilty to Sexting Teen
weighing pies in grams with Wayne Pygram
LGbe languages AND GRAMMARS
Gbe languages
Rick Tailfeathers, Mayor of Duckburg
white inbred slut ratio loss leaders
Pokemon Steak and Ketchup
The experience seems to be made even more enjoyable because everyone else has to queue through security, battle with heavy language, and hike through the air terminal to get to the boarding gates
Rick Tailfeathers, a spokesperson for the Kainai First Nation located in southern Alberta
THIRTEEN inch DOUBLES
Tom Yum
twelve inch singles
white inbred slut ratio
wealth redistribution
loss leaders
she wore blue Woolvett, Gordon Michael Woolvett was the night, softer than satin was his skin, he put the lotion in the basket
bottoming for Gordon Michael Woolvett in Deepwater Black VII
fuck marry kill, Gordon Michael Woolvett, Joseph Gordon Levitt, G Gordon Liddy
you ate my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
you were my dong, Jar Jar, I loved you
Star Wars Colon Episode IX Colon The Revenge of the Dong
smashing the canoptic jar containing crabs
smashing the canoptic jar containing Jar Jar's penis, so that his magnificent dong may rule once more
stealing that guy's jar from the canoptic laundry room
getting bladdered with Rud Hud Hudibras and Bladud in nud nud nudibars, isn't it
I was going to say "she was probably inexperienced, amirite" but after hearing what she said that is obviously untrue
A male reporter is interrupted by a girl on LIVE TV
Fluffa Fox
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and Pedro Pony starts fluffing himself
Peppa Pig set for more than lOO new episodes as eOne shareholders rejoice and parents despair
some enchanted permanent
Scrotum McNuggets, Scottish gay porn star
wondering if anyone has made a mashup of Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm and MmmBop
Godhunter Octopus can't attack unless defending player controls an enchantment or an enchanted permanent
fuck marry kill, Stacy's mom, Jessie's girl, John Brown's body
smashing the canoptic jar containing Steve Harwell's mouth, so that his spirit will be silent in the afterlife
considering watching Stargate Colon SGOne but then working out that it must take something on the order of twenty eight days to watch in full, assuming you watch it sixteen hours a day with no breaks
putting in your eight inches for the bitches that have always been
putting in your eight hours for the powers that have always been
topping for Sub Perignon in Scrotum McNuggets VII
bottoming for Dom Perignon in Colon Pizza VII
scrotum mcnuggets
colon pizza
I would have guessed she was more into steaks and shakes
Chelsea Manning walked out of military prison Wednesday and straight onto Instagram, posting a portrait of herself and pictures of her first indulgences colon pizza and Dom Perignon
the Delacroix of French painting
The UMM
the Bacon of French cuisine
comically making love to these dolls, toodle pip
the Delacroix of French cuisine
Robert Swan Mueller III
President Riker, this fall on CBS All Access
I'd assume the RIKER is already stolen and systems compromised
I'd assume the data is already stolen and systems compromised
a sequel to Elder Nun Bra but its actually called Older Unborn and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
a sequel to Blade Runner but it's actually called Blood Runner and it's about someone trying to illegally supply the organ and or artificial organ trade and has nothing much to do with the original but the setting and definitely isn't a shitty action film
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told Walrus Porn has a recording
kind of blowing Gene Hunt, that magnificent pony
the Washington Pony
Ryan's office said "That never happened" until being told WaPo has a recording
paying attention sucka
saying oops up side your head, saying oops upside your head
diksuckas no match for meesa
they're no match for diksuckas
Kento Diksucka, typical Lancastrian
Kento Diksucka
Kento "The Dicksucker" Ikeda
Kento "The Dessicator" Ikeda
I just use gravy
you're going to need a lot of lube
wanting to make Kento a moistmaker for his birthday
synthol
bottoming for Henry Tudor in Henry VII
the Lancastrian violently emerges from Kowalski's peanuts when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
The "traditional Southern" England phrasal preposition "off of" has "robust use" especially with "Anglo females"
dew yew keep a troshin
Tha's been a cooartin' Mary Jane
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat not since decimalisation
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra pussy sweat
not since decimalisation
Hast ta geet a SIXER tha con lend me
typical Lancastrian
Hast ta geet a fiver tha con lend me
killing the Norfolk broads
Norfolk broads
electroplating your Pennines
they're all monkeys that side of the Pennines
broad Lancashire
sleep on the left side
cookie sweat
puppy sweat
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slime Crest bra
pussy sweat
why'd you have to go and make things so constipated
Fatworld Avril Lavigne would never promote a Swollen Secret bar
clam chowder with Ben Browder in Ann Arbor
being electrocuted touching your coffee, coffee grounds
Avril Lavigne would never promote a Slim Secret bar
Boscombe
bosombros
bosoms
Bellowbros
Bellowing Saddlebrute, Senator from Vermont
When Bellowing Saddlebrute enters the battlefield, you lose four life unless you attacked with a creature this turn
you are still a dipper on my chips
you are still a whisper on my hips
you are still a whisper on my lips
Mindy has a motorcycle
beef pizzle
hey, we're out of these "new love" cookies
everybody loves playing with lego
The One Where Ross Can't Stand Muslims
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the eight year old boy and you'll realize you have nothing in common
thinking like an hour ago you could do with a nice drink, oblivious to the cup of tea you made which was a foot from your head and going cold just out of your line of sight
something is wrong on the internet
your infatuation is based on a physical attraction, talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common
uhhh
I happen to like eight year old boys
Butt out to prove he's the best tight end in seventeen draft class
ABSOLUTE ZERO burritos recalled over KRYTENia fear ITSELF
oppositional defiant disorder
Frozen burritos recalled over KRYTENia fears
Frozen burritos recalled over listeria fears
ODD
buttermilk
THRILLER touches
BAD touches
touches
and whales isn't it
tastes
smells
goddamned bullshit security updates
even
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Podcaster
Man found 'masturbating walrus vigorously', says he did it because he loves Portland
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he deals that porn
Man found 'masturbating vigorously', says he did it because he hates Portland
Kento's Ass enters the battlefield tapped
Boreal Shelf enters the battlefield tapped
A bloody gigantic, bloody dead thing just bloody washed up in bloody Indonesia and nobody bloody knows what it is, crikey
pollinating Jackson C Frank in the eye with an anther when you were a plant
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
saying you're getting ready but actually getting back into bed
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eye with a Gunther when you were a kid
and whales
it was Gunther
you're shooting homeless people in the eyes with a bb gun again, aren't you
I know that you did it
We don't believe there is criminality in either of these cases because there is no trauma to the bodies
A gigantic, bloody dead thing just washed up in Indonesia and nobody knows what it is
inside of a man it's too dank to breed
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a walrus
there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse
Leprechaun climbing out of penis shoots himself in the car
Man climbing out of car shoots himself in the penis
you mom's got a little pickle in her
your parents are sandwiches
don't say that about my parents
they must be pretty stale by now
apparently when my parents were dating they often ate a place that had good Reuben sandwiches so they always talk about them fondly, but the few times I've had them they've been kind of blah
having never had a Reuben sandwich but honestly thinking it's either one of those unlikely taste sensations or it's just any old shit someone had left over and you know some people will eat anything
wanting to make Kento a Reuben sandwich for his birthday but running out of Russian dressing
we need some more secret sauce, put this mayonnaise in the sun
we call it Freedom Dressing these days
Thousand Island dressing is often used in a Reuben sandwich in lieu of Russian dressing
cod futures soar on hinted Johnson presidential run
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "pull my finger" he will run for president in the future
Former WWE Superstar and highest paid actor in Hollywood Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson recently said it's a "real possibility" he will run for president in the future
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anakinasis, caused by getting sand in your vagina
Doctors have highlighted the need for awareness of anisakiasis, caused by the larvae of a worm found in contaminated undercooked or raw fish or seafood
Daryl turns out to be a racist
Chrislydophon upuranus
Kentoeiphlon odopenus
Cladosiphon okamuranus
This Pokemon's Trainer must prioritize the daily maintenance of its throat at all costs
wondering why the designers thought to make a Pokemon with explicitely sexualized features, as if there weren't already enough people beating off to them already
TSAREENA used DRUNKEN BRAWL! SMOGON is going home in a fucking ambulance!
In victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously
A Pokemon known for the beauty of its well shaped legs, it sometimes appears as a mascot in advertisements for beauty salons
taking a restaurant that was rich in steaks and shakes and turning it into a place of buggery and prostitution
taking a country that was rich in soil and minerals and turning it into a place of beggary and destitution
He added that "the rest of his body gets attended to" in Zimbabwe by a physician who is not only Zimbabwean but "is actually black"
he may simply be concentrating if he's hard of hearing now
President Mugabe is not sleeping at conferences, but closing his eyes to protect them, his spokesman says
insane clown pussy
grapefruiting your man William December Williams Jr
grapefruiting your man
William December Williams Jr
Une heure avant la publication des documents, le fondateur du site, William Craddick, annoncait a ses lecteurs qu'une fuite majeure sur Emmanuel Macron etait en preparation
I must have a don'tache, John
I have John a mustache, don't
I don't have a mustache, John
Uber is a transport firm that requires a licence to operate, a senior member of European Union's top court has said
Peter Imhotep, I hardly know 'er!
Peter Imhotep
JAMIE DRACULA
Adam Frankenstein
bottoming for Donald Trump in Basic Pissplay VII
If we survive trump there's gonna be a generation of conservative leaders who have said like "sure that's just basic pissplay" on camera
being mon
Anisakis Skywalker
eating poke
a mash up of the Monster Mash and the themes from Up and M#A#S#H#
a mash up of Twisting the Night Away and the theme from Inception
Hayden Canesten
The brothel "will be equipped with at least four sexual dolls," which will "have body temperature and may groan when touched" and will "wait for the customers in their rooms"
hearing Chewbacca gargle in Stains on the Walking Carpet VII
nose springs
having never heard Chewbacca gargle
NO SPRINGS
Seventeen Moments of Spring
Raleigh man charged with pulling penis at Exposen Park
Raleigh man charged with exposing penis at Pullen Park
the difference between a distant police siren and an owl which is also a jerk
wondering why you keep having such awful dates and then realising that you've actually been signed up to Grendlr
a mash up of Floated Fetus, Eh and Sour Meaty Mike
a mash up of Duel of the Fates and Take Me I'm Yours
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war when he sits in council with his cabinet
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he chokes you harder when you call him daddy
the Danish remake of Jumper, Hygge Yimper
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Kit Fisto when he fists you
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Darth Vader when he chops off your hand
that one of the things you'll miss most about your stepfather when he leaves is how he sounds like Chewbacca when he gargles
being kind of surprised that there's no IVchan movie yet
wanting to make a movie called Rotten Tomatoes just to see its Rotten Tomatoes score
Cardigan Transmogrifying
Jumper Ascending
qualifying statement, Jumpers isn't a terrible film, but I did see all of Jupiter Ascending
An erratic action pic with little coherence and lackluster special effects
genuinely it's not a terrible film
A teenager with teleportation abilities suddenly finds himself in the middle of an ancient war between those like him and their sworn annihilators
bottoming for Claudia BBC in Fartgapes VII
wishing you hadn't laminated your list before you could add Claudia Black
that Kento was once mistakenly hired as a mall santa over a misunderstanding about his shaking like a bowel full of jelly
finding Rough Sex Monday's child choked to death in a makeshift noose crafted from a bathrobe in a lower upper market hotel in Singapore
Rough Sex Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace but in a different way
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace
seeing how they run
naming your meth with Joe Nameth
the entire internet but every time someone writes bee instead of been or see they have to watch the entire Bee Movie and answer questions on Buzzfeed to understand which character they are personally most like or face a writ of damnatio memoriae
in the basket
packing lotion
lacking gumption
bottoming for Cherry Stoner in Ragged and Gaping Red Stained Anal VII
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cherry stone out of the ragged and gaping red stained canal between the fresh, pert contours of the cherry's lower end trope
Unfortunately, the social media crew failed to notice there was a sex toy prominently displayed in the locker of catcher Kevin Plawecki, which was apparently placed there as part of a clubhouse prank
Pure Grain Cheetos
Pure Grain Cheerios
not drinking cheerios
More than a quarter of young adults in the UK do not drink alcohol, cheerio
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN ONE EYED PANTS MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN POCKET MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
DISTRIBUTION OF CANADIAN WATER MONSTERS BY INDIVIDUAL LOCATIONS
Lolitasize Tehrangeles
Tehrangeles
A fraternity member with bottles of malt liquor affixed to each of his hands with duct tape vomits into a box of breakfast cereal
ensuring Ukrainian food security
Ukraine has banned American action movie star Steven Seagal as a national security threat
working ninety five, what a way to make a living
spurning Temujin's boobs
Bortai spurns Temujin and is taken back in a raid
Ezri Dax taking the safest crap
Ezri Dax
taking the safest crap
Safecrap, the abandonware of scifi
Farscape, the abandonware of scifi
pinko liberal architecture
chrome digizoid
brutalist architecture
having a sudden, weird flashback to the libertarian in you
go hang a salami i'm a lasagna hog
Prince Philip, sixty nine, to step down from pubic duties in fall
Prince Philip, ninety five, to step down from public duties in fall
Inappropriate Laugh Track
Ross Invited Them All to Watch
arriving home and filling your toilet with what has to be close to a gallon of shit
Flacid Brexxxit
Hard Brexxxit
sha la la la la la la, mmm hmm, honk honk
watcing four episodes of Bizarre Food with Andrew Zimmern on the plane and he didn't eat a single cock
having a sudden, weird flashback to blowing a pony
having a sudden, weird flashback to the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
having a sudden, weird flashback to the librarian in you
snapping teeth out of my jaw after a failed pass attempt
watching a Greek crime drama performed in English but set in the Golden Age in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled titan is named Krono
Krono for short
signed, Kronos
signed, Krono
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot kid" and it was genuinely enraging
the death of Leonardo DiCaprio
the death of Leonardo da Vinci
that on Family Feud today the question was "name something you lick without biting" and this hot chick sad "hot dog" and it was genuinely arousing
flying All Nipple Airways
shitting blood when you brush or floss
I Want To Cash My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime Outside
Guy Fieri Dub Colon The Jamaican Jerk Off
Guy Fieri Dub Colon Turkey Trouble!
spitting blood when you brush or floss
flying All Nippon Airways
I Want To Give Up My Car Stealing, Knife Wielding, Twerking Thirteen Year Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime
United promised that it would never charge passengers for restroom use, though it said other fees allow the company to keep airfares low
wondering if, in the XXX Parody world, there are actors who regularly portray the same people, like the same guy stands in for Richard Dreyfuss in Mr Holland's O Face, Hand in Me, and Gross Encounters of the Turd Kind
he's versatile
topping for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's Anus
everyone knows that the Seventeenth Battalion Prince of Wales Own West Yorkshire Regiment was full of size queens
One of the miners, rejected on account of his size, offered to fight any man there as proof of his suitability as a soldier, and six men were eventually called upon to remove him
bottoming for Mann Butts in Hard Labour VI
bottoming for Anthony Cock in Butts of Bees III
beeing
bottoming for Rockhard Dinguss in Mr Holland's O Face
eating four hundred and fifty grams of coriander
yeah, that
eatting
eating a pound of cilantro
eating a pound of weed
she sure does
Judy Hopps
by the trasitive property, Seth McFarlane's doll like eyes
you know the thing about Seth McFarlane, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a shark's eyes
Lebron James's toes
Seth McFarlane's shark like eyes
Charlize Practin
Charlize Theron
Aiel Shaon, mermaid
Shaon Ston, Bedrock prostitute
drowning in Shaon Stone's vagina
Demi Kim Pfieff one
imagining the monstrosity one could create with the body parts of Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger, Demi Moore, and Sharon Stone
just now realising that you've been conflating Michelle Pfieffer with Kim Basinger
she wasn't crossing her legs, she was flopping her dong over her leg for comfort
that scene in Indecent Exposure where Michelle Pfeiffer crosses her legs and her enormous floppy dong falls out
trying to think of the movie with the leg crossing scene and conflating a bunch of stuff into "Indecent Exposure" starring Michelle Pfeiffer
something something fellate me none something frozen meat on demand something Melania something something TRUMP STEAK
asking your TRUMP STEAK to fellate me none
asking your french steak to fellate me none
putting baked beans in the korma
The Party at Gimli and Legolas's
The Party at Kento and Tusks's
The Party at Kitty and Stud's
Kento's GIMLI
Kento's GLOIN
Kento's groin
A "DESTINY" will be given for unorderly penises
A "fail" will be given for unorderly penises
no, she was just flaccid the whole time
she's not the same as Eighteen Inch Michelle Pfieffer, but age withers us all, I guess
bottoming for twelve inch Michelle Pfieffer in The Witches of Eastdick
noticing that Jar Jar has appreciated by XL% but the signed picture of Michelle Pfieffer has depreciated by XXXIII%
the swan, the beak end
the swan, the legend
the man, the legend
Comedy, with a dry twist, will appeal to folks interested in military action
wanting to make Kento a grilled toast sandwich for his birthday
Isaac Toast, muggle
A toast sandwich is a sandwich made by putting a thin slice of toast between two thin slices of bread with a layer of butter, and adding salt and pepper to taste
Kento's being meat first
spinning Brian Peppers' cum into gold
Orf Sex Monday
Millpool
Chris calls it 'sodomyou'
being Kento's first mate
that is honestly the only thing Kento could teach a class on
wanting to educate Kento about the pirate tradition for his birthday
Burg puts historians to shame by raising extremely interesting questions that no one before had asked
Bodmin Okehampton, New England colonist
Clevedon Portishead, Tauren death knight
eating the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden
Gordano Ikeda
The name Gordano comes from Old English and is descriptive of the triangular shape of the whole valley from Clevedon to Portishead, being the ablative singular of the Latinised form of Gorden meaning muddy valley
Gordano's a dump
regrets that were supposed to be texts
stopping at Gordano
if you wanna be the best, and if you wanna beat the rest
Elmo Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Elmo Rape
Animal Breeder Group Opposes Bill Outlawing Animal Rape
A man in China has inserted a live eel into his anus in the hopes of fixing his constipation, but the extreme measure almost took his life
every episode of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except every time Riker asks if it could be a star Picard mutters christ and every time it's the Romulans Picard yells OH SHIT A DICK and goes to his ready room to drink tea
Crombrugheella de Ville
Galleria CROMBRUGHEELLA
Galleria mellonella
Doctor Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Exam
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Mustache Ride
wanting to aee it
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride, if you know what I mean
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye Ride
fuck marry kill, Ender's Game, Six Days Seven Nights, Cowboys & Aliens
hearing about the Millennium Fandom bar and kind of wanting to aee it, on condition that you are permitted to tear off your own skin and hurl it at the nerds like a horrible coat
Ja Rule, Mos Eisley cantina tramp
Ja Rule nominated for Deputy Secretary of United States Department of Housing and Urban Development
I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT
The plush villas that had been promised were actually the same type of tents the Federal Emergency Management Agency uses to bring relief to disaster stricken areas
only blowing about eight ponies per season
Your ignorance makes me ill and angry
Colin Lionel Emm
fuck marry kill, Mrs Robinson, Mrs Jones, Stacey's mom
thinking being president would be easier
Pokemon Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
ducking back down the alley with some roly poly little bat faced girl
not getting genital mutilated
policies on compulsory genital inspection for Muslim teenagers
FULLY FUNCTIONAL water
hard water
I can call you daddy
I can call you Betty
Sad!
In an appearance at the University of Chicago on Monday, former President Barack Obama unloaded a relentless barrage of complete sentences in what was widely seen as a brutal attack on his successor, Donald Trump
musky, manly ladies
who needs empathy, human characters, good action, or witty banter when you can just leer at a woman from behind while she rewards an unworthy character with musky, manly, lady objectifying sex
wondering when we're finally going to get the BJ and the Bear reboot, most likely starring the Rock
Carrie Fisher taquitos
Debbie Reynolds vaquitas
you can take all the tea in China
fuck marry kill, Burt Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds
vaquitas
it's just the bear', that simple bear', forget about your worries and your strife
fuck marry kill, BJ, the Bear, a bear'
sitting around eating Kit Kats and Nik Naks because you're knackered, kid
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
the death of Aunty Fee
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Insemination
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I Hardly Know 'Er!
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Star Trek Colon Nemesis
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Black Cock Down
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Man Smacks Fury Road
little red spicy boys, swear I'll catch you with my hand
Rename Fire Ants to Spicy Boys!!!
Sergeant Stubby
I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT
You want a good girl, but you need the bad cookie
You want a bad boy, but you need the good dog
You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy
I have no skeletons left
now the skeletons are gone
I have opened the closet and shown the skeletons
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of a United Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
for the sake of accuracy
it was United
drawing a picture of Kento smearing peanut butter on his genitals in the hold of an American Airlines jet while Simon the Giant Rabbit freezes to death
that your sibling is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really got some stools to deposit here
the death of Simon the giant rabbit
freezing all the peanut butter
getting all the way to the hugest dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stools to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
getting all the way to the dump before you found out it's always closed wednesdays, you got stoolies to deposit here, it ain't considerate of the local refuse collectors
inserting three kilograms of batteries into your urethra
topping for Elias Ashmole in Eli's Asshole Colon It Belongs in a Museum
bottoming for Sir Walter's Cock in The Bride Of Hammermore
"This," thought Lovel to himself, " is a famous counterpart to the story of Kelp on this syde"
world which had the popular religions that also were the most copied ideas world wide, like how Rome completely copied greece
Macedonian PVC
You have a contract to deliver this show to us, and you will continue to deliver the show as best you can on schedule or we will sue you
Corinthian leather, I'm walkin' here
getting in a time machine and going back to when a series of screen shots blending Ricardo Montelban as Khan Noonien Singh and Ricardo Montelban as Mr Roarke would've made a kind of ok joke about de planing
United Airlines is investigating the death of a giant rabbit which was being transported on one of its planes
the unit of "kilogram" isn't even defined "internationally" with the accuracy needed to distinguish the masses of the battery before and after
the death of Kristyna Martelli
When not dressed as an ape, the north London father of two is a policeman
Walrus keeps throwing up fish
Kento applies for fifteenth credit card this year
Last male northern white rhino joins Grindr to raise money
Last male northern white rhino joins Tinder to raise money
huffing Diablo IV
crack cocaine, it's just like World of Warcraft
having seen a lot of ads for shitty online games lately that boast of being "addictive" as though it were a selling point
meeting Brian Peppers until he bragged about being from West Virginia
The Execution Centipede
sucking a Tim Burton heroine's left one until she had a breastgasm
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Sixty Nine Sexecutions LXIX
Arkansas carries out country's first ass to ass executions in almost two decades
A herd of wild boars have mauled three Islamic State militants to death as the extremists tried to ambush locals
Arkansas carries out country's first sixty nine executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first BELLY TO BELLY executions in almost two decades
Arkansas carries out country's first back to back executions in almost two decades
je ne veux pas consacrer ma vie a des connards
a wonderful invention with special x ray tricks
that one year where you left it out and discovered that christmas pudding can indeed ferment given time
still having christmas pudding in the fridge, admittedly having only steamed it about a month ago, but still
serving spotted dick with sussex pond pudding and hot wings and calling it sussex hot dick
serving spotted dick with old speckled hen and calling it old speckled dick
Mr Neutralgoodpiss's Deli and Gunsmith
making chili just so you could have a late night chili kid after your workout
making chili just so you could have a late night chili dog after your workout
obviously I'd rather be found dead in front of Fat Gay Asians VIII Colon Underage Bumfight Edition than Everyone Says I Love You, but that's just normal
my parents really want to see it, but I'm not sure why
I probably would watch Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium again
I'd rather be found dead being jackhammered by a blow job bot than found dead watching Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium
having some inkling that when you die, like a lot of single people, you'll be found in front of porn, but being sort of glad you won't be found after your sex bot determined that you had died and summoned help
Kimchee for Kento
the Model I service droid from Arlan Robotics
wondering whether Chris Lydon uses condoms, or whether he has to repurpose surgical gloves
Men removing condoms during sex in disturbing online trend 'stealthing'
Udon for You Mom
Gumbo for Bimbos
Bisque for Bitches
Stock for Skanks
Stew for Slags
Soup for Sluts
Mr Neutralgoodpiss
The Most Neutral Good Piss Ever Made
The Most Dangerous Pistol Ever Made
finding the fresh prints deep in the uncle fill
finding the fresh prints deep in the banks
you look for the fresh prints
wondering how you track Will Smith in the snow
repugnant colon apocrine sweat glands
rude ass titties
In the episode "The Homer they Fall" in Simpson, Homer make KO all homeless men and later he is beat by Drederick Tatum
when Bart always used to say iAy, Harambe!
ma bra, eh
Harambe
Friendship D, eh
wondering when "advertisement" got officially replaced with "sponsored content"
cuando Bart siempre decia Oh penis!
when Bart always used to say iAy, caramba!
na nana nana na na na na nana na, na nana nana na na Myke Harambe
RIP Harambe
When I go to a zoo and I see a gorilla my hormones go absolutely crazy
Our revolutionary forces are combat ready to sink a US nuclear powered aircraft carrier with a single strike
The crying woman is heard saying, "Nobody puts baby in the corner"
The crying woman is heard saying, "You can't use violence with baby"
losing your iris or vagina at Nudity Jr concert
losing your religion at an REM Jr concert
losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert
losing your virginity at a Dinosaur Jr concert
offending dinosaur sex
dinosaur sex offenders
finding "dinosaur Sex Offender Shuffle with agent fifty seven" in your autofill cache
Campbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
I don't know how I did that
Sex Offender ShuffleCampbell Soup Co, which owns Pace Salsa, confirmed that Pace never had a Twitter account
Sex Offender Shuffle
Vicious Baby Attack Thwarted By Cabin Crew
flying American Airlines, I'm flyin' here
Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold
always being sad when the weather in VEGETABLE AVOIDING is better than the weather in real life
always being sad when the weather in Animal Crossing is better than the weather in real life
why else would you level up a Lickitung
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon tossed salads
feeling a little nauseous at the idea of pokemon caviar
Pokemon Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs
Pokemon Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Caviar and Cigarettes
Oops! All Berries
Hash balls recalled for possible contamination with golf browns
Hash browns recalled for possible contamination with golf balls
that episode of TNG where Troi loses her empathic powers and it's totally like she has PMS
Potable Odo
Menstruable Odo
signing the declination of independence
Rare parchment manuscript of US Declaration of Independence found in England
your new phone teaching itself to help you typo more efficentlt
Star Wats
Star Wats probably has a highly specific droid for your needs
not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what
Cuntstable Odo
trying out some of those Odo period panties
trying out some of those Edo period panties
trying out some of those Aslan period panties
trying out some of those Asian period panties
TRIBBIANI NORMANDY PIKES
GOOGLE AVRIL LAVIGNE
honestly though guard the bodyfuck
bing Britney Spears
honestly though fuck the bodyguard
finding out that there is a musical version of The Bodyguard and hoping that Frank is forced to sing a song about hand eye ee eye ee eye co ord in a tion oooo oh co ordination
S E Cupp
seriously craving some Bugger Rink, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun"
I'm forming a cadre of Martian knights charged with enforcing Martian law
Under an ancient principle of Anglo Saxon and American law, a person convicted of a crime must be allowed to complete an appeal of the conviction
Skrillex gets pulled off, fingerbanged in Hollywood
not choosing the cyborg life
'American Idol' winner Trent Harmon to headline Steak 'n Shake Carb Night Burger Bash
when you lose all your open tabs and can't remember what they were and your history constantly updates like a single page so it just continually drags your focus away and you're like what the fuck is this fucking dementia shit I am just trying to live
the death of Cuba Gooding Sr
just now looking up what fingercuffing means
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingerbanged in Hollywood
haven't heard a beat like this in ages
asking Yoda why he still hasn't got us a brand deal and we're stuck eating off brand muesli like amateurs and being told we cannot Alpro be
shiokara
kiviaq
Skrillex gets pulled over, fingercuffed in Hollywood
Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights
Skrillex gets pulled over, handcuffed in Hollywood
sales of Barbie have fallen sharply, ah ah ah yeah, adding to a worse than expected slump for Mattel, uu oooh u, uu oooh u
dough thought through nought though sought enough furlough in the borough to tough through a rough cough
though
that is an unfortunate sequence of regrets thought
I've never kept you silent
drraming about repeatedly smashing Justin Bieber's face inti tables snd such in a cartoonishly violent fashion and being frankly surprised at the hostility you appear to hold for him
feeling it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
hey guys, remember Marc Alaimo
I'll start climbing uphill and get out of here
all of Hubbard's feces is being sealed in lucite and lowered into lead lined shafts deep beneath the Arizona desert
millions of Hubbard's words are being etched on steel plates and sealed in titanium crates, filled with inert gases
Fowl Moudama
knowing that Prince put out such a high volume of work that some of it was almost certain to be terrible , but not realising that it was as criminally bad as this joke I'm making
New Prince Songs Blocked by Judge, for Now
Jedi Foul Moudama had enhanced eyesight thanks to his dual set of eyes, and not very poor eyesight requiring extra eyes to compensate like a normal person might have expected
Foul Moudama
Stuntwoman turned actress Susan Backlinie was cast as Chrissie, the first victim, as she knew how to swim and was willing to perform nude
fuck marry kill, Robert Shaw, Run Run Shaw, George Bernard Shaw
fuck marry kill, Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Roy Scheider, Rob Roy
Rob Schneider, I hardly know 'er!
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Rob Reiner, Rod Steiger
something something Kim Jong un something BBC news something Dennis Rodman something missile inspection
fuck marry kill, Rob Schneider, Jon Voight, Chuck Norris
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were plaaaaaying, playing with the boys at their nuclear test site last weekend
Satellite images suggest North Koreans were playing volleyball at their nuclear test site last weekend
fuck marry kill, Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, Kid Rock
Trump hosts Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock at the White House
now, that's clearly a CW show
New Black Girl, Wednesdays at eight central on BET
coming in like a new black girl
coming in like a bawling clerk
coming in like a wrekin ercall
coming in like a wrecking ball
The Butcher Boy, the Cook, His Wedding Night and the Bell Boy
damning dogs for all eternity with Ellen Barkin
The self styled leader of the breakaway republic of Forvik in Shetland has been ordered to do community service for driving a "consular vehicle" with fake number plates and no insurance
witnessing the fitness
drawing a picture of Marc Alaimo at a midwest small town convention discretely letting a fan know that if they really want to put Gul Dukat in his place, for two hundred bucks it can happen
phone tuping
feeling kind of bad for the would be actors whose 'big break' is one season seven episode of a bootleg Trek show, and also for the actual Trek actors who sometimes appear, presumably for most of the budget
feeling a little bit better about all the weeks of your life wasted on watching shitty shows and being stoned whenever someone's fan film extravaganza appears on your radar, because it's not like you REALLY wasted your life like those assholes
After orbiting a planet that is run by the Goa'ulds, The Enterprise receives a distress call from Com Hansen saying that they were attacked by the Goa'ulds and soon after receiving the distress call, Lt Hansen's ship was destroyed by the Goa'ulds
the show, not the movie
that Tony Amendola and Erick Avari wete both in Stargate, which is likely why you managed to conflate them
Bigfoot and Sex Henderson
wondering why Sex Henderson chose to be credited as S Period Henderson in the charming family film Princess and the Pony
Vedek Yarka
that a google image search for Sex Henderson gives a whole lot of Florence Henderson
apparently confusing both Erick Avari and Tony Amendola both with one another and with some guy, who may have been Princess and the Pony star Sex Henderson
or a guy in a rubber mask who really reminded me of that guy
plus it has that guy from Stargate who kind of looks like Hamid Karzai
Princess of Mars is actually pretty solid, in a hokey tv movie kind of way
Traci Lords never did anal, but there's no way that you could have known that I know that
really enjoying the vegan no soy easter egg you got and wishing you got two
Traci Lords Colon Underneath It All
She has also said that she hopes to run for a major party nomination to be President of the United States upon her reaching the age of thirty five, per the minimum age requirement for United States presidents
the other tenants have been complaining about the incessant swaddling
She puts together, like, six weeks at a time of sobriety, then drifts away
Conaway joined Celebrity Rehab castmate Mary Carey at the premier of her spoof flick Celebrity Pornhab with Dr Screw
RIP Jeff Conaway
RIP Michael O'Hare
RIP Andreas Katsulas
RIP Richard Biggs
RIP Jerry Doyle
wondering what happened to Claudia Christian after Babylon V snd deducing that Robin Baumgarten is wearing her, Buffalo Bill style
Jeopardy contestant blurts out hilariously wrong answer to question
MAJOR laserwort
hey guys, remember Jaylaser, beep boop
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya laserwort
just take a deep breath and hope the swelling goes down
trapped in these guys what am I to do
trapped in the skies what am I to do
deriding a side saddle rider drinking cider while she derides the cider inside you
laserwort removal
Owl sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
owl ceviche
Loud sex interrupted a Florida tennis match
rarest owl
def jam Bono montages
hey guys, remember Jimmy's jammin' jambalaya
laserwort
JIMMY'S JAMMIN' JAMBALAYA
def twins Bono menage
performing Queen songs in the style of a grizzled nineteenth century prospector, dagnabbit
licking it head on and meating it
Plum BUTTERCUP POST COITAL Praying Mantis SWORDFIGHTING
waffle stompers
bottoming for Fuckmonster Bueller in Fuckmonster Bueller's Gay Off VII
INDUSTRIAL MULBERRY JOULES
def twins homo menage
Homemade Fig Newtons
Plum Blossom Praying Mantis Boxing
fig ruse
figures
Shattered Colon Inside Hillary Clinton's Doomed Campaign
premature EPS conduit rupture
Well, you're just going to have to learn how to bow down and say master
meeting it head on and licking it
wondering what percentage of assimilated borg got some kind of telescoping plasma dick implant
A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away
FULLY FUNCTIONAL borg implants
borg implants
the best of both worlds, PART II
the best of both worlds
busty girthy chickdudes
thy rugs died
girthy dudes
sticky chubs
kitschy cubs
busty chicks
string petril
string theory
Miracle Whip will not tone it down
girth essence
string cheese
Rita Marley Harambe
The Official Dick Out For Harambe Website
Ariel Winter Displays Dick Out For Harambe
Boobsot Coochollo, deathstick dealer
The Official Dick Hyman Website
Orool Wontor Dosploys Boobs ot Coochollo
Ariel Winter Displays BLUNDERING DUNDERHEADS at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays NINNIES at Coachella
Ariel Winter Displays Boobs at Coachella
asking Phil Jupitus if he petted us
hunting for holly with Holly Hunter
Becoming a ninja
I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you
trying to become more avuncular than creepy
eating junk all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
eating junk food all day long and somehow ending up with heartburn and a headache
Damn Heligolanders! They ruined Heligoland!
many Heligolanders were living in exile in the coastal city of Cuxhaven
Mister Ed and the Dodgers
Goldie Hawn, Nabooan Senator
I've had it up to here with these damn rickets
Adele Dazeem, Nabooan Senator
Pamela Adlon, Nabooan Senator
Sebooan Nanator, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena, Nabooan Senator
Orth Korena
the willingness of Korena missiles to explode only show the extreme ardor of their opposition to Western imperialism and devotion to Our Leader
North Korea 'will test missiles weekly', senior official tells BBC "They will all crash"
fart fist dancing
standing traffic
TN woo
O Town
Mugwumps get knocked down, and they don't get up again
for goodness NIHONSHU
chinnery
Mugwumps
ordering an assing
for goodness sake
ordering an adsing
ordering plush noun soup
ordering un poupon slush
kind of loving Jennifer Love Hewitt, that magnificent bastard
the President Donald J Trump Creativity Church of Rome
one of the west coast newspapers called us commie midget
Brian de Palma and Brian Glover's lovechild, Brian Deglover
Sousson Pannan, Outer Rim Smuggler
Sousson Pannan
Daisy reportedly threw him out after he failed to pay for the wedding and then stole some pigs and a saddle
I say to thee, respectfully
Justices on Brazil's supreme federal court wear their black robes belted with a thick metal buckle and floor length capes
face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento
wanting to schedule Kento to first face, then ass, then face and ass Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
killing whores with Keeley Hawes
all the trouble your laptop has been for the last like six years or however long you've had it for
President Garfield, died on a Monday, buried on a Tuesday, decomposed on Wednesday, decomposed on Thursday, decomposed on Friday, decomposed on Saturday, decomposed on Sunday, President Garfield
well, he was shot months earlier but died on a monday
that President Garfield was killed on a monday
the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game
Guiteau reportedly wanted a British Bulldog revolver with ivory grips instead of wooden ones, as he believed they would look nicer when the gun was displayed in a museum
WWF World Heavyweight Champion Bret Hart and The British Bulldog took on Vader and The Patriot in a tag team, eh, cheerio, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!, I'm walkin' here
wanting to schedule Kento to ASS Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
facing dude love
wanting to schedule Kento to face Brian Pillman and Dude Love for his birthday
On the afternoon of the event, Brian Pillman, who was scheduled to face Dude Love on the show, was found dead in his hotel room
Badd Blood Colon In Your House
tasseography
The missile blew up almost immediately
vibrating bum faced goats
the International Rutabaga Curling Championship
biscuits with nakko cheese
triscuits with nacho cheese
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships sorghum
coming here to be all out of tall ships and too early for space ships
sorghum
dickbitches
dickmares eat oats and dickdoes eat oats and little dicklambs eat ivy
dickmares
is a WAFFLE
my daughter
I don't think that you grasp the magnitude of the regret that I'm feeling here
blowing a pony's left one until she killed the California girls
banging a Tim Burton heroine until she had a waffle
The Shining but instead of Jack saying "here's Johnny!" it's Nicolas Cage saying "not the bees!" and instead of forgetting where I was going with this it's witty and on point, damn Daniel
Bobby Brown but the 'by' is the Bee Movie trailer
Pokesupermon
Pokemon Man and Superman
theiliad
theodicy
No one wants to run flat out and put their head into a wall
Murad signed a statement saying that he was innocent and that he was a tourist visiting his friend in his chemical import export business
eating curry on an empty stomach
Utah judge calls ex Mormon posh bear convicted of pi a 'doom nag'
Nineties jokes
Utah judge U U U UTAH JUDGE calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'GREAT SUPERMAN'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man'
Utah judge calls ex Mormon bishop convicted of rape a 'good man'
Ghostbusters II but ev
Ghostbusters but every instance of the word ghost is edited into the word goat
Oh christ on a bike
Ghostbusters but ev
buggering nerds
debugging nerds
coding nerds
developing nerds
using a silicon based lubricant with your jedi boyfriend
using a petroleum based lube with your cheerleader girlfriend
everybody knows cheerleaders are made of rubber, they ain't got no feelings
this is going places I wish it hadn't
A worse old rape device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull bras off cheerleaders could transform life for developing nerds in parts of the world
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
A solar powered device that can convert power into other kinds of power could transform life for people in parts of Tosche Station
bedeutsamen zweifel
A force powered device that can cut clean through anything could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
putting enter next to delete
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water o could transform life for sand people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing Outer Rim, utini
it's hip to be movie
only in German, presumably
Investigators in Germany say there is "significant doubt" that Tuesday's attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus was the work of radical Islamists
Mustache on People's Court
A solar powered device that can pull clean drinking water out of thin air could transform life for people in parts of the developing world
rationing icy nude bras to the naked cheerleaders
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Icy Nude Bra Ration
thinking it's kind of an indictment of society that even after all these years there's still no Urbane Dictionary
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet but every time you say bee it's the entire Bee Movie and every time they say bee it slows down
saying I'm the only bee in your bonnet
a boy went back to Champs Elysees, because he missed the scenery, the native walrus and the podcasters, but wait a minute, something's wrong! 'cause now it's "Hey Kento, Kento Eiffeliano"
Kento Eiffeliano
it's hip to be Data
hip Data
pad thai
you don't wanna sew my thumb where my shit cums out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my shit comes out
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips eat at
you don't wanna see my thumb where my lips be at
sewing a thumb to your lips
putting a thumb to your hips
putting a thumb to your lips
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Donald Trump's superfluous second anus
Ashton Kutcher's webbed toes
Zac Efron's nipples
Megan Fox's thumb
that apparently there is a serious The OC style drama based around the Archie comics characters and that is terrible and hilarious and stupid and amazing and I really want to see it
sha la, la, la, la, la, la, la
life is as pointless as counting crows
the Simpsons are going to lewd area!
the Simpsons are going to Delaware!
The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying
I couldn't be more thrilled to expand on Jim Henson's mesmerizing universe, and take a new generation of moviegoers back into the Labyrinth
wanting to make Kento a Whopper for his birthday
ultra obscene
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "scrotum growth rape drub" and another added nice day to the list of ingredients
somebody edited Wikipedia to describe the Whopper as the "worst hamburger product" and another added cyanide to the list of ingredients
one more heartbeat and you walk the wire
Video shows cop slam and beat black pedestrian after alleged jaywalking
imagaining a "the Aristocrats!" style joke with "the Ikedas!" as the punchline
A walrus Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the Ikedas
A furless Tickle Me Elmo is terrifying the internet
if Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick
I'll have the cream of Sum Yung Gai
constantly cumming in Constance Cummings
I thought I had mono once for an entire year, turned out i was just really bored
if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped
Noe Cowa
Bythe Spirt
as long as they keep pumping in the quarters who gives a shit, right
kids know dick
downloading multiple copies of the book "The Comedy Database of Errors" bythe incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
fffffffffff
pink't bum tubes
you're hypnotised, by these colours all around you
COMMITTING TO that FANCIEST face SCOURING SARCOPHAGUS because I SHOWED it on FACEBOOK
M'Lady, Vulcan ensign
Gungan Flufflers
Wookiee Wranglers
Ewok Handlers
I'm Sauron, Ms Jackson, no man can kill me
trading your colon in a game of cards
it was thanks to that card game that I know what a Gaderffii Stick is
Frances Alfred Basil Tomlin
nope, I apologize, I had him confused with BoShek
buying twenty dollars worth of packs of the old Star Wars Colon Customizable Trading Colon Card Colon Game as a teenager and opening like seven Ric Olies
nobody even says his name on screen
remembering that the name of the pilot in The Phantom Menace was Ric Olie and even how to spell his name but not remembering how the electron shell thingy works even though you spent years trying to learn it
J Geils, remember J Lala
In the complaint for damages, a man identified as DH, who claims he was sexually abused by Murray in his former Capitol Hill apartment, made specific remarks regarding the mayor's body and a mole on his genitalia
m'lady
tipping your fedora at Medea
fancying your clean face
cleansing your fancy face
trying out that fancy face cleansing mask because you saw it on Instagram
I'm sorry Ms Jackson BWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM we need to go deeper
in the summertime when you come on Eileen
the death of my angel is the centerfold in the summertime when the golden brown texture like come on Eileen
the band of J Geils
Magic Jew is Dickish
Magic Dick is Jewish
the death of J Geils
Pokemon The Funkiest Man You've Ever Seen
Pokemon Red and Green
Pokemon Black and White
Balaeniceps rex
the towns of Samnium have become villages, and most have vanished altogether
pitching a porn parody of Hackers, Knackers
Pokemon Scat and Bestiality
it's mostly swearing and nudity, but there's some scat and bestiality at the top of the second act
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson insists that the upcoming "Baywatch" movie reboot is "far dirtier" than the classic TV series
She tells him that, "this Dairy Queen is closed," which I assume to mean that they severed her milk ducts when she got those implants
Anyway, Aunt Becky looks fly as fuck, and she immediately starts talking to Jesse about how firm her ass is and then they start making out
flying Untied
chugging the same ache all week
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Jewel, Spoon at Gunpoint
French Jewel Thieves Tie Up Catilyn Jenner, Steal Penis at Gunpoint
Caitlyn Jenner Confirms Her Penis Is Gone!
Even after the tenements were demolished, he continued to live in a pitched tent on the site
pink mutt pubes
Pumpkin Buttes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just dual your banjoes
when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and just pull you real close
leaving my cool bay leaves to Michael Bay
always thinking there were more than three players on a football team but you never really knew the rules that well
A XIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
A XXXXII year old teacher from California has allegedly had sex with the three football team players of Mount Shasta High School
having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio
learning that Robert Irvine has his own Jerry Springer style daytime trash TV show and wondering how the world got to this point
beaming Potor Noppors
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you eat what you be
renaming Kento Ikeda the Cock on the grounds that you are what you eat
renaming Dwayne Johnson the Cod on the grounds that you are what you eat
flying United
bottoming for Jim West, desperado in The Thickest They Is VII
David Manning
meeting Broon Poppors
being the slickest they is
picking either "fame and fortune but you're married to Avril Lavigne and Miley Cyrus simultaneously" or "finding Jewel's sex tape but it also stars your parents"
I don't want to see that
sewing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff
seeing Will Smith's hand where his hip be at
you don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies
My lips purse, like a cat's arse that's brushed against nettles
Fake call centre scam mastermind Sagar Thakkar 'Shaggy' arrested in Mumbai, defiantly declares "it wasn't me"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders dikplay"
doing a google image search for "Ned Flanders cosplay"
keep fucking that chicken
Tony Orlando and Bloom
Bootros Bootros Gholo
Tony Orlando and Dawn and thrush
Tony Orlando and Dawn, we're gonna keep on truckin'
Pokemon Tony Orlando and Dawn
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my mother's arms tired!
ROP Poochos
I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy are my fat wife's mother in law's arms tired!
Poochos died on the way back to her home planet
Poochos Honooblossom Goldof
Moko Howko, podracing champ
Roth Onglond, bounty hunter
Roth Onglond
Moko Howko
Jom Wost, dosporodo
wondering how much Diane slash Rebecca fanart there is
wondering how much Norm slash Carla fanart there is
jillin' Sam, Jem'hadar
jillin' Sam
jackin' REBECCA
oh yeeeaah, stroke that dong, long after the feel of the orgasm is gone
little ditty, 'bout jackin' Diane, twelve inch dickgirl, who needed a hand
jackin' Diane
Chopfyt
Kento takes up a surprising amount of floorspace
wondering how it is possible that Sisqo's costume from the Wild Wild West video is not in the Smithsonian's "Gayest Things of All Time" exhibit
having enough parts left over to make Brie Brie
your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's BOAC
making Alison Larson out of Brie Larson and Alison Brie and just selling the rest through a deli
remembering Dru Hill as a name but not remembering anything they released and having no idea that Sisqo wasn't just some prick with silver paint sprayed on his head who had a hit one time
West, Jim West, juggalo
As a teen, Mark Andrews worked at The Fudgery in Baltimore's Inner Harbor with Larry "Jazz" Anthony, James "Woody" Green, and Tamir "Nokio" Ruffin
West, Jim West, desperado
I'd love to see you pee on us tonight
Lodo Gogo
Benny Kaker
I'll wrap Myke Hawke in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
I'll wrap myself in bandages, 'til it gets ridiculous
because we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, and Pong is proof
wondering what it is like to be a male podcaster and know that at any given moment there are at least several million fat gay Asians masturbating to you
wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred gays masturbating to you
signed, Kento
wondering what it is like to be a male celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
Honore de Balzac's La Comedie Humaine d'abeille
The Human Bee Movie
Ivar Boner, I hardly know 'er
bottoming for Ivar Boner in Red Raw VII
The entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song except every time they say be it cuts to the entire bee movie but every time they say bee it cuts to the entire F#R#I#E#N#D#S# theme song
Alfhild Gandolfsdatter
Ivar the Skinless
Ivar the Deboned
Ovor tho Ongono
Pokomon
Ovor tho Bonoloss
Ivar the Boneless
Sonoc
Sonic tho Hodgohog
Sopor Moroo Bros
signed, aging podcaster Chris Lydon
we're living in a simulation and I prong poofs
butt waggling
There are many jugglers who can issue fire from their mouths, bind and release themselves, and dance on twenty balls
a mash up of the theme from Terminator, the music from the first world of Super Mario Bros, and Mele Kalikimaka
projecting the core
rejecting the core
injecting the core
spoolor olorts
ojoctong tho coro
erecting the cejo
ejecting the core
being rolled over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a fat gay Asian
being jumped over by a quick brown fox
jumping over a lazy dog
jumping over a full sized billiard table, a six foot high jump performed with ankles tied, and leaping over a horse XIII hands high
Thomas Neill Cream
the third wave of scat
the third wave of ska
we're living in a simulation and Pong is proof
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Worf saying MINSK
The entire Bee Movie except every time they say bee it cuts to Jared Fogle eating a six inch cold cut combo while masturbating to the Disney Channel
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, a bee should not be able to fly
wanting to make Kento a Cuban sandwich for his birthday
According to a forensic psychiatrist who testified for Fogle's defense team, Fogle suffered from a compulsive eating disorder for several years before losing weight, and replaced food with a sense of "hypersexuality", which included a "mild case" of pedop
chowing down on a submarine sandwich
going down on a submarine
going down on an aging podcaster
going down on a sinking ship
signed, Kento Ikeda
I want it all, and I want it now
Anal's Cruises
Carnal Issues
Insular Cases
it's more likely that Walsh left because she couldn't stand the unpleasantness of working for a guy who refuses to wear pants
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Duck
They came to work for the president but found themselves working for Donald Trump
regrets about Vladimir Putin blowing a pony
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in the bathroom at church
even Barbra Streisand is going to get in on that one
depicting Vladimir Putin as a gay clown in England
A Russian Court Ruled You Can't Depict Vladimir Putin as a Gay Clown in Russia
I think on some level I always knew you were really from Guam
Today, the program is heard on more than DC stations in the US, Canada, Australia and Guam
listening to Coast to Coast AM every night for like five years in high school to college
getting into Welcome to Night Vale because a coworker hyped it up
Patricia Mae Andrzejewski
Lesotho snakes
Kento's asshole
the death of Dick Loners
the death of Don Rickles
first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Charizard with some paperwork for you to initial and sign and then it'll really be over
Pokemon for mediation and divorce
Pokemon for stag parties and hen nights
Pokemon for weddings and funerals
Pokemon Four Weddings and a Funeral
masturbating to Kento's sorehead pals
assuming John Hannah's gender
thinking of funny drinks is hard
plenish nutmilk pants
filing the heftiest owl
CELERIAC cat
robinsons fruit squash pants
ribena pants
vimto pants
innocent smoothie pants
um bongo pants
capri sun pants
parsnip cat
craps paint
panic traps
capri pants
You can lose your files and none of that is a heftier owl!
You can lose your life and none of that is worth a selfie!
pitting your children against one another in a fight club over international waters
pitting
being shanked at a rave by Ravi Shankar
shuking
shitting and puking at the same time
Kento's hellish anal measure
Kento's divine anal units
Kento's antediluvian sin
Nivea pulls 'white is purity' ad after outcry
flooding Kento's hole compartment
pulling mule
hauling ass
Reconstruction is also the name Chris Lydon gave to the period after the emancipation of Kento's ass
the least accurate slider would be eliminated from the game and choose a present from under a giant Christmas tree
bottoming for Ballsac Asriptov in I, Handjob Robot
the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill
Spongebob's queer pants
Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered
Bullfighter requires full rectal reconstruction after being gored
kinning that boy in Ithaca
kithing that boy in Ithaca
Pentagon Upgrades Mama June Threat Level From Revenge Body To Terror Body
then things got weird
Dean had really great tits until he took the dress off
she kind of looks like this guy Dean I used to live with
Girls on the Go! Mama June Lands with Honey Boo Boo in NYC to Show Off Svelte New Revenge Body
bottoming for Myke Hawke in Artillery Batteries VII
Meating J, juggalo
batteries in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
The United States has spoken enough about North Korea
Hariyama semen in Myke Hawke
Hariyama
semen in Myke Hawke
the way that the latest versions of Firefox get really sluggish if you leave them open for too long
blood in my stool
feces in my pot
urine in my kettle
zerg killing that dog in Ithaca
Joon Boptosto Omonool Zorg
killing that dog in Hungry Horse
zerg
killing that dog in Ithaca
converting power
they go great with a nice vegan ribeye with a Steaks Are High rub
being a little too attached to Tulip Reefers
being a little too attached to Fruit Peelers
Dwayne Douglas Johnson not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Dwayne Douglas Johnson
not knowing offhand when babies begin teating
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the hoes he goes
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden hose
Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden he goes
I had another one but he wasn't related by blood so when he divorced my aunt he became dead to me
I have a racist uncle too
tell your sister, you were right
you were right about us
except that it's completely the same thing
kind of wishing your last surviving grandparent had died or been institutionalised with dementia or something instead of spending most of your own life retired and bitching drunkenly about foreigners, who of course are not like his wife
being pretty miserable about what a shitty country you seem to be living in lately and the awful, low key racism of your uncle
turning off the web cam and microphone in your laptop and wondering firstly if you even remembered to disable them when you replaced the hard drive and secondly whether Windows just randomly enables them by default or whenever there's a major update
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was THE PAPER because it sounded more like WENTY TWON
watching Moana in smellovision and being sure that it really was The Rock because he reeked of fish
watching Moana on the airplane and wondering if it really was The Rock because it sounded more like Jack Black
henlo vigilante, helllo you TWISTED VIGILANTE, go take the law into your own hands ugly
I'm a vigilante, TWISTED vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a Grammer vigilante
I'm a vigilante, I'm a grammar vigilante
Beauty Beating Off Boss Baby and Blowing the Beast Blows Up Box Office
yes I think I've seen this one before
blonde on blonde anus jig
When he was told by a friend that she was not working in a cafe the ground upon which he was walking was suddenly swept away from him
learning to play blonde anus jig
learning to play dueling banjos
Boss Baby Beats Beauty and the Beast at the Box Office
not knowing offhand when babies begin teething
with today's modern cars you can't get lost
solitary servants of a faceless crime
not being able to finish off anyone you've ever started
Twhaching off
nauseating Twitch terms of service
violating Twitch terms of service
Swedish berries
BISMUTHING a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
leading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
kneading a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
needing a penis tug to guide your penis into the harbor
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penis Tug Undies
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Genuine Stupids
Crocodile Studies would have been so much funnier
The University of Dundee's new master's degree in Penguin Studies
it's fun to stay at the O U M A
Oiled Up Muslim Association Of New Brunswick
drawing a picture of Dennis Rodman licking peanut oil off of Kim Jong un's massive manboobs
hallucinating, chasing, changing, racing, breaking, hating till you lost it all
North Korea's premiere homoerotic channel
oiled up manbang
bottoming for Tim Allen in Homo Empire Men TV
imagining Tim Allen's Home Improvement slicked open parenthesis Tim Allen noise close parenthesis face looming over you
MARBLING Tim Allen
Twin Long Rods #Two meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
meating Jewel's wife, then finishing off on Jewel's mom
oiled up manbearpig
we're off to see the wizard, the Dremel Wizard of Oz
wondering what kind of noises Tim Allen makes when he has sex
COWARDLY Tim Allen
slutty Tim Allen
slating Tim Allen
Pokemon Sluts and Cowards
Slut or Coward
Doctor Walrus
Doctor Who gets first openly Asian companion
Doctor Who gets first openly fat companion
ooh you make me live
Doctor who gets first openly gay companion
Doctor Who gets first openly gay companion
circumcising John Peel in the toilet
we initially wanted to get Pamela Anderson to play the Indian woman tied to the post but Streep's audition was just too damn good
naming your muscular gastropod the Guns of Abalone
Haley and Otis getting halitosis from eating Haliotis
Alien vs Custer
you had me at Tim Allen slated
Tim Allen slated to star in Custer's Revenge big screen treatment
Reece Shearsmith's Mum 'Rescued' A Sparrow
fistipeds
the one hundred and twenty eighth birthday of the Eiffel Tower
Tim Allen's ill advised Native American themed porno, Tim Allen Res Erection
Anderson was named most powerful Canadian in Hollywood in MMV, proving that she is a Sith Lord
Pamela Hyytiainen
Denny's Colon The Movie starring The Rock as Grand Slamwich
the Government of India honoured her with the Padma Shri, the fourth highest civilian award, and Time magazine named her one of the one hundred most influential people in the world, and now she's playing the villain in the Baywatch movie
The entire Baywatch movie except it is just replaced by footage of The Rock eating eight hundred and twenty three pounds of cod
it has The Rock in it because everything has The Rock in it
seeing a poster for the Baywatch remake and thinking it was either a joke or the porn parody, but no, it's genuine
The entire movie Barb Wire except Pamela Anderson is replaced with an actual fencepost wrapped in barbed wire
A Barbed Wire Massacre Match is a match where the ring ropes replaced are barbed wire and the weapons themselves are wrapped in barbed wire as well
it was quite enough
having seen Bee Movie, but only the version that doubles in speed every time they say bee
fissipeds
having never actually seen Bee Movie
"Crocodile" Dundee except every reference to crocodiles is now a reference to bees and every time Linda Kozlowski wears just underwear it slows down and when she wears no underwear it's pitch bent up an octave
monstrous pike
Pikemonstrous
monstrous
eating all three of the mango doughnuts
The US State Department and the White Ho us e are sending contradictory messages on Syria and should start leading and not foc us excl us ively on fighting Islamic State
Tim Alien Resurrection
Tim Alien
The Entire Fat Gay Asians VII but edited by Zach Braff so all the urolagnia happens off screen and every time anyone speaks they're dubbed with bee from the Bee Movie Trailer
The Entire Bee Movie except it is just Kento fellating Chris Lydon for ninety minutes
PYGMY GENITAL Rave Trailer, Eh
EVERYTHING Gameplay Trailer
making like an icecream truck and playing music to attract children then making them pay for a taste of what you got
According to all known bees of bees, there is no bee that a bee should be able to be
According to all known laws of pornography, there is no way that a walrus should be able to Eiffel Tower
making like a fat gay Asian and having a podcaster in front and a walrus in back
making like a pickup truck and having a redneck in front and a pig in back
isdmxinjail dot com
The entire Alien movie except the Alien is replaced by Tim Allen
Tim Allen vs Predator
"Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python" is not news, "Missing Python Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Indonesian Man" is
Missing Indonesian Man Found Dead Inside a Twenty Three Ft Python
Overt Sex Organ Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
Tim Allen Colon Covenant
open parenthesis Tim Allen Noise close parenthesis
Tim Allen cubed
Tim Allens
Tim Allen
Texas Governor Rick Perry has a cameo appearance in the film as himself
he's the kid from the Lion King, Tim Allen noise
he's the kid from the Lion King, riiiight
wanting to make Kento like a fuck truck for his birthday
making like a fuck truck and rocking back and forth in an underpass
making like a fire truck and screaming as you overtake other drivers
fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT
making like a bread truck and hauling buns
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
shtick
SNL Celebrity Jeopardy except Alex Trebek is replaced by Professor Oak
LICK THESE, OAK
hey guys, remember the titans
dismembering the titans
remembering the titans
LIKE HOTCAKES
selling those this
Reinvent Fit Ho Jewel
wondering how long it would take to get a couple million "My Dick Silences Nothing" t shirts printed up, because those this are going to sell like hotcakes
registering 'my dick silences nothing' as a trademark
registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark
With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, 'Subway Footlong' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length
Mexico City Starts Hand Job Apocalypse By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Sandwiches
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Busty Ass Awe
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Spokesman
Mexico City Causes Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
Mexico City Fights Sexual Harassment By Putting Penises On Subway Seats
because of the implication
she liked it
that's messed up, you shouldn't hit on your cat
I had a cat like that
lots of people have seven fingers on their right hand, that doesn't prove anything
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally genetically close enough to be your daughter for the past few years
having never been in a year long relationship, unless you count awkwardly flirting with someone literally young enough to be your daughter for the past few years
sellabrayting you're won yere anniversery
Pentagon "reluctantly" agrees to nuclear strike on Toronto as part of one year inaugural anniversery celebration
I'm extremely reluctant to produce an improvised list of military vehicles that we might be held to
Scarbott Johandjjob Nine Thousand and One Says Necklace Of Ripped Off Dicks Was 'Grounding' During Power Surge
Scarlett Johansson Says Fellating Ugly Scottish Men Was 'Grounding' During Filming
Scarlett Johansson Says Nursing Her Daughter Was 'Grounding' During Filming
the importance of the Mises Hayek paradigm as an alternative to equilibrium economics by illustrating the unreal nature of equilibrium theorizing
what eats me, a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon
something punishy but not crippling
kind of hoping Brexit just peters out after a few years, with obviously generational financial repercussions but also with a humiliating defeat for those that threw themselves into it as though it were ever a worthwhile hill to die on
Never mind the Bolloxit, Here's the Sexit!
A more appropriate front page for today's Daily Mail
Never mind Brexit, who won Dicksit!
getting all gusseted up
I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now
Never mind Brexit, who won Legsit!
getting all pussied ug
getting all gussied up
having no apatite for fission track dating
Pokemon hpt and sau
Kevins James inexplicably Heartland Poker Tour wife
pitching a movie where Kevin James inexplicably hpt wife is literally a character named Nora Lee and every time he introduces her to someone he's forced to sau "this is my wife, Nora Lee" and nobody quite believes him
Saltmen
Kovon Jomos, Sith Lord
divas can at least sing
Kevin James is such a diva
I can honestly say I'll take one for the team here and just let world go without one more Kevin James movie
so either you stitch me up in Padme's entrails or the deal is fucking off
I don't need your shit, I'm set to rake in fifty mil from The Zookeeper Two Colon Zookeep Harder
listen Kevin, you need to keep working, you're only going to grow less endearing as you age
I refuse
I was thinking we would just use some kind of prosthetic, or maybe make him wear one of those pingpong ball suits
you would first have to figure out how to encase Kevin James in Natalie Portman's bowels with just his lips protruding at the anus
that would make ten billion dollars
Transformers VI Colon Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum! starring KEVIN JAMES as the rectum and Kate Upton as his wife no really
hey, I wasn't judging, all you have to do is look to the mid two thousands "Morbidly Obese Stupid Man With Hot Wife" era of American primetime comedies
listen buddy, the way your president and his Russian pals have been carrying on at my expense lately I'm this close to getting the marines and torching Washington again, don't be making it worse ragging on panto
they love talking assholes in China, it's like ugly old men in drag for the British
you should have pitched it as a Transformers sequel
you know I pitched that and they said it'd never get made it'd never find an audience she'd never agree to it and I said you know Being John Malkovich got made it'll work and they said no, and now this
Step right up and see the AMAZING, the ASTONISHING, the ASTOUNDING, Natalie Portman's Talking Rectum!
typical vegan, always farting
Natalie Portman Colon "Paris Has Improved a Lot for Vegans"
no, this is Patrick
Spongebobbing Chris Lydon
sandblasting Chris Lydon
spongebathing Chris Lydon
The notion of the fantasy scenarios ending in popping or explosion is often a divisive topic in the community
Machine which TITS breasts grows as I walk
Krasnoludek
Skarbnik
IF MY DOCTOR HAD READ THE MEDICAL LITERATURE INSTEAD OF THE ADS I WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS TODAY
Douglas Carswell quits UKIP, leaving party with no MPs
feeling that "Trumpflation" has been wasted on economics, even if it will eventually come around to being used to describe his egotistical statements and conflation of fact and fiction
perspiring milt
aspiring milt
not choosing the wagon life
Trumpflation
United Airlines bars teenage girls in leggings from flight
there is no watermelon here
finding a to do list from four and a half years ago instructing yourself to, among various mundane chores, "eat watermelon"
sploonwort
spleenwort
aspirating milt
not choosing the vagina life
drownong in Domo Mooro's pool
Pool Dovod Howson
Tho Odgo
Mochool Jockson's "Bod"
Mobo posong on Jopon
Moron Bochstonsongor
Murun Buchstansangur
always confusing young John Simm with Dominik Diamond
Londo McCortnoo, roguish cloud miner
drawing a picture of Pool McCortnoo sucking on Londo McCortnoo's thick grooso soosogo and pushing her plom tomotoos around with his fongors
you had to go and make it sexual
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy penis and pushing her testicles around with his fingers
drawing a picture of Paul McCartney sucking on Linda McCartney's thick greasy sausage and pushing her plum tomatoes around with his fingers
Denmark has the world's highest per capita consumption of sausage
really being quite surprised to find a presumably monthly magazine about vegan life lasting more than twenty issues in the UK, which is as much as eighty percent meat
wondering if the publishers of Vogue magazine are planning on suing the publishers of Vegan Life magazine for their slogan "Bringing Vegan into Vogue" in England
Moby posing in the UK
not choosing the shalom life
fuck marry kill, a crab, a carrot, Oasis
something something War War something Jar Jar something Tim Allen noise
not choosing the vegan life
I derserve this I've been shellfish all my life
wondering how many Juggalos of the Smashed Crab are secret justices
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos smashing crabs
wondering how many Justices of the Supreme Court are secret juggalos
smashing crabs
the crab in the Crabbing Game is a crab
kissing crabs
this kisses the crab
this kills the crab
this voids the warranty
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo Violent J
I am an enthusiastic and hard working actress who specialises in musical theatre and Children's Theatre
drawing a picture of Princess Madeleine kneeling expectantly in a circle of Teletubbies while Steve Harwell services Noo Noo
Violent J
Watto's bizarre, striated, exogorthlike penis
the Toydarian penis, when fully uncoiled, has a length equal to roughly ten times body length
wondering who has more junk, Watto or Jar Jar
Khan Mistt, Mos Eisley junk dealer
Khan Mistt
Kirk Fogg
To not one of those Home Improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced, Tim Allen noise
To not one of those improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced
rough Beast wank
sssssssssS
soft Iceman jerk
minecraft jokes
sssssssss
heliocentric parent
falling into a pit of acid and dying
heliocopter parents
helicopter parents, but said in a sexy French accent
Farage claims dinosaurs killed off "by EU expansion"
helicopter penis
preteen rapist loch
helicopter parents
A dilly means it's a humdinger, it's special, not because it's close to something used by adults
Major shake up suggests dinosaurs may have 'UK origin'
WOODY STEAKS
taking advantage of liberalization of marijuana laws to launch your new pot infused range of marinades, The Steaks Are High
Woodiest Harreldad, gelfling
Woodiest Harreldad
Woodier Harrelson
being frankly kind of surprised that Han Solo is both still alive and still getting work
being frankly kind of surprised that Woody Harrelson is both still alive and still getting work
fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell
something Princess Madeleine something something slathered in Tubby custard something eh oh!
seeing the headline "Woody Harrelson Just Dropped His Star Wars Character's Name" and being disappointed it wasn't Woody
Ten Boogers
Ten Goobers
eruvin
Green Boots
laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter
Franklin Delano Bluth
Suzanne Marie Sevakis
f FDR because I wanna try it with a paraplegic, m MLK because he would spend most of his time with white prostitutes anyway, k JFK, what else do I have to say
fmk, JFK, MLK, FDR
Ryanair passenger who 'grabbed flight attendant by the testicles' could lose his job
Doritos fan proposes to Doritos with Doritos roses, eh
Canucks fan proposes to boyfriend with Doritos roses, eh
a tshirt that says "I went to Venus and all I got was venereal disease"
getting Princess Madeleine drunk on sherry, then slathering in royal jelly, royal custard, and finally a thick and generous helping of your hand whipped rich cream
wondering how long you stay sucking after she has a breastgasm
wondering how long you stay streaming after being deliberately disabled
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depigmented
fauxnibalism
vegan man flesh
passing the Duchy of Cornwall on the left hand side
Police investigate smoke at London's 'Gherkin' building, not a security incident
professor xflesh
iceman flesh
maverick flesh
goose flesh
swan flesh
man flesh
drawing a picture of Zombie Kento dragging himself from his undoubtedly shallow grave howling "doooongs, doooongs" as he hungers for flesh
wondering how many sunflower seeds the urethra of Chris Lydon's bizzare, striated, earthwormlike penis can hold
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
wondering how long you stay conscious after being depilated
wondering how long you stay fashion conscious after being decapitated
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated having a cardboard booty
Shortly afterwards the Welsh Assembly suspended its day's proceedings isn't it
wanting to make Kento a beatbox for his birthday
wondering how long you stay unconscious after being incapacitated
the Maestro's back with a beat box soundtrack
Star Wars except the Skywalkers are the Sandwalkers and Anakin doesn't like skies
I bought you drinks, I brought you flowers, I read you books and talked for hours
I can feel she return on the hoof
bottoming for Sand Diego in Bootini VII
DO NOT WANT
The kid called him Master Skywalker
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sand Diego
jacking it in Sand Diego University City High School
inserting three sunflower seeds into your urethra
rubbing one out in the bathroom at University City High School
alarming facial animations
San Diego high school student Matthew Burdette was purportedly kicked out of a class at University City High School for eating sunflower seeds and was subsequently secretly filmed masturbating in a bathroom stall
go eat a fly ugly
helllo you STINKY LIZARD
henlo lizer
wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated
www cowboob hor
howbowbrowcow
cash me ousside howbow dah
also I genuinely haven't been paying attention and don't know anything about Naomi Scott, nor did I ever actually watch much Power Rangers
that's a trick question
fuck marry kill, Naomi Scott, Amy Jo Johnson, Kimberly Hart
drawing a picture of Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson happily spit polishing a single large pink helmet with care
to where
drawing a picture of naked Naomi Scott and Amy Jo Johnson discussing who get to where which parts of the single Pink Power Ranger uniform they have
stopping Rita Repulsa from getting to the Krispy Kreme, if you know what I mean
Spiza americana
Rupicola peruvianus
having a crabby toad odor
the Power Rangers are protecting an item called the Spirit Crystal from the forces of Galvanax, the champion of the universe's most popular intergalactic game show, who wants the Crystal, which contains six magical Ninja Power Throwing Stars, to become in
banging a Tim Burton heroine far, far too early
banging a gong far, far too early
getting on far, far too early
getting off far, far too early
setting off far, far too early
switching a Nintendo Lick cartridge
licking a Nintendo Switch cartridge
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my cock be at
Il Timpano from Big Night
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see Myke Hawke where my hip be at
there can be spiracles through which you breathe
you don't wanna see my hand where Myke Hawke be at
you don't wanna see my hand where my hip be at
carry on, carry on, as if bark bark arf bark grrrr
sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all, bow wow
mama, woof
I'm walkin' here, eh
crikey, cheerio
you know there's MykeHawkes there
the North American Technate
you know there's crocs there
Dracorex hogwartsia lived by the sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hell Creek
Sesame Street's new Muppet who likes to take a dump on people's chests is part of the show's BIGGEST, FULLY FUNCTIONAL agenda
Sesame Street's new Muppet with autism is part of the show's bigger, empathic agenda
Little Children, Big Colons Incarceration Challenges
Dracorex hogwartsia
not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey
An Australian teenager who was bitten by a crocodile when he jumped into a river in northern Queensland on a dare is now recovering in hospital and looking forward to a date with the British backpacker he was trying to impress
Little Children, Big Challenges Colon Incarceration
Big Bird Joins Anti Vaccine Campaign
Sesame Street's New Muppet Has Autism
throbbing your ground with a standing erection
standing your ground with a throbbing erection
Man shoots himself in the penis and blames it on 'a black guy'
playing on Son Joe's boobs
laying Spoon Jeno's boobs
spooning Jay Leno's boobs
boobs are in this season
Jay Leno discusses boobs in his smut news, eh
Jay Leno discusses the mob in show business
Oxpeckers do eat ticks, but often the ticks have already fed on the ungulate host and no statistically significant link has been shown between oxpecker presence and reduced ectoparasite load
cruropatagia
Clothes made by a homosexual male So even when you say you are straight It is very hard to tell
the all uppity ollar
the all ighty ollar
'Down with the Sickness' by Disturbed is never a good karaoke choice
we all want that
Lost Boys Colon The Thirst
I want him to die is basically what I'm saying
wanting to give Kento a Brazilian butt lift for his birthday
My cousin works in a phone shop, I got these hoes from him, Apparently he seems from a distance on a sandwich so, but it's just a case for my iPhone
Another DICKGIRL dies from TUPI butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
#tostigate
Another DICKGIRL dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at WILD WILD WEST clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt ASCENSOR at Miami clinic
Another woman dies from Brazilian butt lift at Miami clinic
Tho block mogpoo, Plotosmoros loocoptoros, os o troopoo, ot os noothor o mogpoo nor, os wos long boloovod, o joo
Onlo tho Lonolo
onnooong
annyeong
Anly
the opening shit of every episode is a dog's ass
the opening shot of every episode is a kid's donkey
watching old videos of PAPERY Morton in his Lanugo days
the opening shot of every episode is a dog's ass
watching old videos of Rocky Morton in his Lanugo days
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Left bank two"
only the turtledove was left, and it had been paying no attention, but singing "Take two"
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Parker jr
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, Ray Jay Johnson jr
black magpies matter
The black magpie, Platysmurus leucopterus, is a treepie, it is neither a magpie nor, as was long believed, a jay
eating that full thing of licorice allsorts and going into hyperglycemic shock in bed
knowing that there is a full bag of licorice allsorts in your car and being super tempted to get out of bed, get them, and come back to bed and eat them for breakfast, because who needs low blood pressure or a pancreas
eating that whole thing of Despair Races and puking in bed
Despair Races
Rape Sidecars
Space Raiders
bunions
bunyips
lanugo
knowing that the bathroom was a mess and your friend had never been over before and so excusing yourself to go clean up with the line "I've just got to go and make sure all the cameras are on in there"
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the cameras in the bathroom trope
chucking berries at Chuck Berry
Chrostono Ono
Chock Borro
bottoming for Christine Anu in Anu's Party
tricking a Torres Straight Islander into dating another Torres Straight Islander
once joking with a friend about "the cameras in the bathroom" and never quite being sure that they understood or believed that you were joking
Berry was hit with a class action lawsuit from multiple women accusing Berry of making videotapes while they were "undressing and using bathrooms on his property"
If I'd known you'd be famous, I'd have preserved your appendix in alcohol
the death of that great new sound Marvin Berry discovered
the cry of Darth Chub, eek
the death of Buck Cherry
the death of Chuck Berry
Pokomon Googlo ond Bong
Blumpkin on Bicoid Dude's nipple
NIDOKING on Bicoid Dude's nipple
sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
drawing a picture of a squirming, bubbling pile of poop sucking on Bicoid Dude's nipple
Pokemon Poop and Gas
Damn Daniel International Airport
Bocood Bobo, Twi'lek stripper
Orlo
Orly
that the fifth Google result for "Bocood Bobo" is "Bocood Bobo's ossholo foontoon"
something something scanties
ELLIE JACKSON SOLO PROJECT says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
Le Roux says the man who was not identified, earlier shot a police officer at a traffic stop before stealing the woman's car at gunpoint
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
Celebrities with Steve Buscemi eyes
A man was electrocuted as he charged his mobile phone while in the bath
spooning Jewel's rostral ventral region
et Ananus tu, Brutus
Jesus etin Ananus
wanting to make Kento a Grand Slamwich for his birthday, they're very popular
Jesus ben Ananus
ol bondodo gonoroso
eel bandido generoso
el bandido generoso
The Smell Feces
Tho Konks
eating all those jaffa cakes
e is a good vowel
sho's os swoot os Topolo Honoo
wishing a happy St Patrick's Day to Zachor Clitcaster O'Dirge
YOU MOM is a vowol
e is a vowel
mokos
Boston mokes mo fool good
Shonoo Twoon
Whotnoo Hooston
Bobbo Brown
Roo Porkor, jr
thos os tho bost thong oll ooor
this is the best thing all year
bongong o Tom Borton horoono
Psoodonom
docomont
rochol
Ogont Fofto Sovon
Bocood Bobo
Tobotho
generally if your boobs are completely on show the dress is back to front
dresses where you can't tell the front from the back
CPU song
A trip to the most beautiful gallery in London, Tate Modern, with the most beautiful movie star in Britain, Gillian Anderson
it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm
holding your infant nephew and having him stealthily vomit on your chest
Bol Bov Dovoo
pottong o ropo bonono on ooor oor
bononos
ooborgonos
ovocodoos
thos os fon
tho Ocodomo Owords
Kento Colon Skullfuck Ikedisla
stovoOVON
shootong Jockson C Fronk on tho ooo woth o pollot gon whon ooo woro o kod
Ollo Jockson
Dockgorl Rochol Stovons
Chrostono Ogooloro
Brotnoo Spoors
Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs
Herpes with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
Hoodon Chrostonson, troodon, tro dot
Hippies with pony sex lives, who need to be hairless for blowing
banging her left one until she had a gothic musical number
farcefucking Kento
This is a new kind of partnership for both of us but I'm very excited to be teaming with Two Trees, and for all the projects being in this space will allow me to create
Hippies with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking
trockong o strooght goo onto dotong onothor strooght goo
Borock Obomo, Outer Rim Smuggler
Tho Coroos Cons of Bonjomon Bottocks
Gory Mothorfockong Ook
Osh Kotchom
Borock Obomo
oor old froond foor ond yoo ond mo
Ooohh!!! Rool Monstors
Power Rangers Dickwad Force
Former Power Rangers Star Amy Jo Johnson Pleads Guilty to Being Acanthophiform
Kimberley death adders
a skinny tee that looks like Krumm from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters but his eyeballs are where your boobs go
CHOMPOGNO used CHOMP! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE! DRONKONG fainted!
dronkong chompogno oot of o chomp onos
Bostonian rooting snakes
Mexican burrowing snakes
thot yoo'ro soddonlo voro ontorostod on tho orogon of tho chompogno oot of o shoo tropo
Clayfacefucking Kento
rocoploy
Clawface
Clayface
rapeclay
raceplay
prison japes
Give Ricardo Medina Jr a Sloppy, Drunken BJ While His Roommate Slowly Bleeds Out From a Gut Wound!
Asian pipe snakes, if you know what I mean
Asian pipe snakes
starting an argument with "your girlfriend can't park for shit and your career peaked playing the Red Lion Wild Force Ranger on Power Rangers Wild Force, dickwad"
Former Power Rangers Star Ricardo Medina Jr Pleads Guilty to Killing Roommate with Sword
Teen Finds Seven Point Four Four Carat Diamond in Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park
burning it's a me, MARIO board
burning a Luigi board
Jodo Knwght, Jedi Knight
Apes I see, including chimpan A to chimpanzee, have finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey, yes they've finally made a monkey out of me
F#R#O#O#N#D#S, O'll chon yo
fwcwfwckwng Kwntw, lwwk yww nww
replacing all vowels with w
Focofockong Konto, Jodo Knoght
focofockong Konto
replacing all vowels with o
Twitter accounts, including Amnesty International, Unicef USA and BBC North America, have been hacked by attackers claiming to back Turkey's government, sieg heil, cheerio, I'm walkin' here, eh, gobble gobble
The male has a clear whistle, whereas the female has a feeble quack
Gummie Garry Gary Beers Bears
Garry Gary Beers
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, crikey
a major indicator of INXS skeletons, cheerio
SONNYio
cherio
a major indicator of sex with skeletons, cherio
a major indicator of sex in skeletons
oh, hello, you're looking at my boobies
#NotTheBees
lending your cheerios to a dishonest beekeeper
#BringBacktheBees
these children that you piss on
these children that you spit on
Jim Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
Jim Crocodile Rock
Jim Crocodile Cook
David FEMALE DEERS
latrine dot nu
urinal dot net
what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry
Streisand v Adelman et al
David DOES
procuring a child for pornography
No man can hide from his fears, as they are a part of him, they will always know where he is hiding
Powder, it darn near killed 'er!
lying about the symmetry of your breasts
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns lying about the size of your income
a film about three boys terrorized by circus clowns
lying about the size of your income
Fred Rogers began his television career as a result of his being convicted of child molestation, one condition of his sentence was that he fulfill a community service obligation by performing a television show for children on a local public station
I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat
David TRIPLE DOUBLE DEES
David DOUBLE DEES
David Dees
GRAND ADMIRAL, EIGHT others charged with corruption in new 'ASIAN SHELDON' indictment
Admiral, seven others charged with corruption in new 'Fat Leonard' indictment
President Dwight Eisenhower expressing astonishment and alarm on discovering that fully half of all Americans have below average intelligence
Gandalf the Grey, being probed by Galadriel, is caught on video pulling down Weathertop
being an amazon
playing the drag race card
Planned Bearentwood
having asymmetrical hands
having asymmetrical breasts
being on the Wikipedia Arbitration Committee but not being granted Admin privileges
it's not a Wikipedia article the Jedi would edit
reading the wikipedia article about the hierarchy of Star Wars canon, holy shit who the fuck cares that much
fuck marry kill, liberte, illegalite, fraternite
listen, nine months from now that's going to be high comedy
bottoming for Chris Rear in Piledrivin' Homos for Chris' Mass VII
liberte, illegalite, fraternite
drawing a picture of da bears doin deed, da bears
they do indeed
Cutting Planned Bearenthood Funding Would Lead to More Bears, Bears Growl
Cutting US Forest Service Funding Would Lead to Less Bear Shitting, Report Says
Cutting Planned Parenthood Funding Would Lead to More Unplanned Births, Report Says
Guzzlord
The Minority Report except the precogs are the Kaiser Chiefs and all they ever predict is riots
Ezekiel Elliott, being probed by NFL, is caught on video pulling down woman's top
ironically, the GTO tariff reform bill was repeatedly pushed out of the debating schedule, first by the Separatist Crisis, and then by war business
that T Canon story which explained that the Trade Federation had severe supply side problems and couldn't in fact get any product they desired because of the GTO tariff system
playing a thief in Dungeons & Dragons with Jewel
Brett, Alex, and Pattie enter a cross country race as cover while escorting a girl named Paula to court so that she can testify against a jewel thief called "The Dragon"
Teen to Rub
Turbo Teen
Cars that turn into robots, etcetera
Microwaves that turn into cameras, etcetera
It is illegal to take explicit photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without permission
It is illegal to take photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without explicit permission
making it with a Yeoman Warder Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary in Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London
making it with a Secret Service dope in a suit
makes the Secret Service look like dopes in suits
The Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary
it's set in radios, eh
it's set in Rhodesia
'Babe Orgy Night' Prequel 'Holy Dungeons' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
it's set in Zimbabwe
'Big Bang Theory' Prequel 'Young Sheldon' Picked Up Straight to Series at CBS
heroes never give in to the night
HARVARD tokens
Yale tokens
jail tokens
Latin jokes
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Via Call Wang
surfacing
lifting me in a vulva pee, woof
lifting me up in a wave of love
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Galvanic Awl
Another version rarely used in woman's wrestling is called the Vaginal Claw
AND IF
or not
making it with a nice Jewish girl in a GTA Spano
making it with a clubfooted girl in a Yugo
making it with a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
Dorothy L Sayers' Civilisation
divorcing HARVARD
divorcing Yale
making it with a Yale divorced podcaster in your rear
making it with a hale divorced girl in the rear
personally I'd love that
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's puppies
We can't restore Sid Meier's Civilization without a valid product key
We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's babies
I know we cannot stay
learning that the guy who lumbered around in the Darth Vader costume in Swan Rear Colon a Goose Rut Story got nominated for Best Villain at the Twenty Seventeen Kids Choice Awards but lost to a black guy voicing a character named Snowball
Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman Recreate Space Jam
maybe together we can get somewhere
RIP Arse Kin too
Kim Jong un's long lost half brother, Arse Kin too
e v e r y d a y
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Arse Kin Too
well, I've fucked that up royally, haven't I
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kento Kin Too
buying an iPod Nano in Minneapolis
sucking sufferotash
bottoming for Zach Braff in Fuckboy VII
A person who is a weak ass pussy that ain't bout shit
a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly who is also known as a fuccboi
Wittgenstein's monster
suggesting something more like Wittgensteinian family resemblance
suffering succotash
During Super Bowl XLIV, he appeared in a commercial for the Kia Sorento
friending your daughter's fuckboy
but apparently you hate that
totally being fine with being racist against chalk miners
finding it hilarious that there even are chalk miners left in the US in this century, but kind of not being surprised someone who would take a chalk mining job would marry Mama June
"I've always seen myself as being a smaller person," she adds
that of all the possible things for the next Truther movment to be built around, you would have picked "Honey Boo Boo's mom isn't really fat" last
Mama June Shannon is setting the record straight about rumors that she wore a fat suit before her show Mama June Colon From Not to Hot premiered earlier this year
regrets about your daughter's boyfriend blowing
tricking a straight guy into dating your daughter's boyfriend
sex humping your daughter's boyfriend
kind of loving your daughter's boyfriend, that magnificent bastard
circumcising your daughter's boyfriend
fucking your daughter's boyfriend
marrying your daughter's boyfriend
killing your daughter's boyfriend
thrilling your daughter's boyfriend
holding your daughter's boyfriend
kissing your daughter's boyfriend
eating your daughter's boyfriend
being your daughter's boyfriend
meeting your daughter's boyfriend
SEX HUMP files for bankruptcy
Gender Mountain files for bankruptcy
Gander Mountain files for bankruptcy
Two people critically ill after drinking tactile borax, eh
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea, barely touching each other
Two people critically ill after drinking toxic herbal tea
cutting off your wife to spite your penis
cutting off your penis to spite your wife
cutting off your nose to spite your face
Woman chops off husband's penis after he 'refuses to have sex with her'
What you need is a good diet, you're pissing the money down the toilet for no benefit
getting a ride home in Rob Lowe's sweet chariot
Twin Riker Rods #One
Twin Ron Rods #Two
The health watchdog is investigating claims staff at a care firm have been selling sex chats while topless from their office
Pokemon Public Shaming and Sadistic Voyeurism
drawing a picture of Nancy Reagan being Eiffel Towered by Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett while Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie Wood wait their turn and Ronald Reagan watches from a tree and masturbates
killing the Canada geese
or else it gets the hose again
It has debated whether to install an audio box that plays the sound of a strangled goose for three minutes every hour
VANILLA ICE Ice VII
Ice VII
Twin Long Ronnies #Two
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ronnie O'Sullivan in The Two Ronnies O'Sullivan
bottoming for Ronnie O'Sullivan in Two Fisted Snookering VII
bottoming for Chris Lydon in Turgid Knobs, Wicked Pissah VII
Horny Walrus Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Boding Turks Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Turgid Knobs Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
something something Donald Trump something Baron Greenback something fresh scandal
Drunk Bigots Group Now Allowed to March in Boston Pride Parade
Gay Veterans Group Now Allowed to March in Boston St Patrick's Day Parade, faith and buggerin'
too much lying and too much Russia and too much smoke
Ms Monroe sued the writer over two war memorial tweets she said caused "serious harm" to her reputation
watching youtube videos of incredibly drunk people and at first thinking it was one of those FAIL LOL things but it turned out to be a depressing combination of public shaming and sadistic voyeurism
Pikemen
I wanna be the best, wakka wakka wakka wakka
winning the South African Pikimin Championship by eating all four ghosts
PIKIMIN
Pikemin
Pikemon Gross and Pitts
A Rating Anal Sodomy
he was the centerfold every day for three years
he already has a lifetime subscription
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
first they were walking like Egyptians and now they're pirates
wanting to get Kento a subscription to Anal Organism Today for his birthday
Chewidden Thursday
Anal Organism Today
Liar Liar except Jim Carrey is on fire the whole time
Movable December observances
The idea was for participants throughout the world to have an orgasm during this one day while thinking about peace
A Judge Who Asked Alleged Rape Victim Why She Hadn't Kept Her Knees Together Has Resigned
Informercials
Jonah Hill reading the Journal of the Whills
Bi Goat Kid Informercial
Big Hot Kid Infomercial
Medium Reddish Dog Infomercial
Big Red Dog Infomercial
Big Hot Dog Infomercial
before there would be blood everywhere
I didn't give it to the kids
it's like a sparrow's beak
QVC Caller on a Can Opener
Broadcaster criticized for drama title comparing local food to penis
he hurried into the bathroom where he tossed the battery in water, because that's what all the smart people do with lithium
Florida lawyer's pants catch fire during arson trial
banging a Tim Hortons heroine, eh
bog wood from the Krapina river
bog wood
a piece of that tip just got me
tiddy bear
a food in Japanese cuisine made from various marine animals that consists of small pieces of meat in a brown viscous paste of the animal's heavily salted, fermented viscera
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom except Short Round is replaced by Brent Spiner
SEMEN plus SEMEN is CLINTON
blood plus blood is gore
Varney the Vampire
manbee dot com
despite all my rage I am still killing Nicolas Cage
that killing Nicolas Cage won't bring back your goddamn honey
Every episode and movie of Star Trek Colon The Next Generation except Data is replaced by Data from The Goonies
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gang in You
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Bod Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Slow Bum
bottoming for Josh Holin in Cream
bottoming for Josh Holin in W Penetration
bottoming for Josh Holin in Jonah Sex
bottoming for Josh Holin in Gangrape Squad
bottoming for Josh Holin in Milt
bottoming for Josh Holin in The Do Me's
bottoming for Josh Holin in Three Black Men In
wondering what kind of movies Josh Holin makes, then thinkin' oh yeah
Bee Movie Trailer but everytime someone says bee Nicholas Cage screams something from Wickerman
swanbeefcurtains dot com
swanbeef dot com
To bridge the gap between 'talented writer', which you now are, and 'professional writer', which is yet to come, you need professional help
Pokemon Spongy and Luminescent
manbeef dot com
fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ
Pokemon Knifings and Kneeings
Jennifer Love Hewitt's Breasts Disappear Before Our Eyes
Amid knifings and kneeings, kidnaping and murder, the meaty blonde Miss Blandish spent most of two hours in panties and bra
a fried chicken wing that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Heads
a fried chicken head that really was found in a box of McDonald's Mighty Wings
destroying a picture of JFK blowing Fatworld Dickgirl Marilyn Monroe and taking steps to ensure he can never threaten America's security again
regrets about JFK blowing
wondering whether it's worth holding out for Billy Joel's acronym laden sequel to We Didn't Start The Fire in which he obsessively catalogs the high profile news of the last few decades or whether you're just out of touch and someone else does that now
rubbing one out in the compsognathus at work
finding Ross Geller having dinosaur sex in the cupboard at work
having dinosaur sex with Ross Geller in the cupboard at work
transpondsers
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off a compsognathus at work
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a compsognathus at work
wah pedals
the one where Ross gets caught jerking off in a cupboard at work
Pokemon Faith and Begorrah
the one where the girl at the copy place gets Eiffel Towered by Joey and Chandler
sneaking off to inconstantly bang Joey, forsooth
sneaking off to constantly bang Joey
I, Zach Assymoth
Sulimov dogs
these guys are from England and who gives a shit, faith and begorrah
these guys are from England and who gives a shit
goddamned up tempo records
constantly sneaking off to bang Banjo Kazooie
constantly sneaking off to Banjo Kazooie
Improsoned Inferno
constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself
just thinking Rachel would get annoying after a while, what with constantly sneaking off to bang Joey
fuck Rachel, kill Emily, marry the girl at the copy place
fuck Kento, marry you, kill me
fuck marry kill, Rachel, Emily, the girl at the copy place
fuck marry kill, you, me, Kento
marry the police except for Sting, kill the mob, fuck them with kindness
fuck marry kill, the police, the mob, them with kindness
fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you
fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson
Mr Oral Brick, heir to the Oral B fortune
fucking Mr Oral Brick because of the pig thing but being three inches in and thinking he's much less clever than he thinks he is
wondering if Gene Hunt is actually one of Kim Jong il's many magnificent bastard children
having impure thoughts about knockin' Stranger Things
Lord Strange de Knockin Things, I just met 'er
Lord Strange de Knockin
The Lord of the Rings but Frodo is a Freddo
realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader
you Eiffel bastard children of the revolution
wondering if Kento is actually one of Kim Jong il's many bastard children
I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
Opodeldoc
Bengay
Adam and Steve at Maid Marian's maid marryin'
Kento Ikeda's Intercourse with the Vampire
Kento was worried that there might be vampires in his colon because he'd wake up in the morning with blood around the outside, and also at dusk a swarm of bats would fly out looking for victims
it's oil of wintergreen
drawing a picture of Emma Watson rubbing oil on Myke Hawke
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to Myke Hawke
After guest stints and roles in short lived television series, he won a co starring role in the action slash crime drama series Sex With A Teen in nineteenseventyfive
Bloodworth Thomason had planned for the show to be " a very sophisticated, grown up comedy, "and would "do for men what the women did for Designing Women"
BABE, I'VE GOT YOU BABE
Cher stated that TENEBROUS'S NAME MAY HAVE BEEN DERIVED FROM THE WORD "TENEBROUS," A WORD MEANING DARK, GLOOMY, OR OBSCURE
Vampire Colon The Gatorade
Darth Vampire Colon The Masquerade
Chee stated that Tenebrous's name may have been derived from the word "tenebrous," a word meaning dark, gloomy, or obscure
Darth Viagra
Darth Pubis
that most of the naked pictures of Emma Watson seem show very little pubic hair
the Viagra commercial but all the sound is replaced with the music of The Cure and it causes erectile dysfunction
The secret Jedi don't want you to know!
googling fur oil and coming to believe that Emma Watson must be covered head to toe in pubes
wondering if Darth Plagueis also discovered the cure for erectile dysfunction
I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to my pubic hair
wondering if Emperor Palpatine's power grows more unlimited when he gets turned on
wondering if Anakin Skywalker's hatred of sand grows larger when he gets turned on
Burt's Bees products but when you open them they spurt bees
Yarael Poof, Jedi Master
wondering if Padme Amidala's hair grows larger when she gets turned on
Yarael Poof
wondering if Ki Adi Mundi's head grows longer when he gets turned on
I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw
wanting to make Kento an amuse bouche for his birthday
The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO%
she also replaces the word "be" with a bee emote
she's pretty well positioned to know when a politician is dangerous
Cher's twitter is fucking amazing
U CAN FOOL ALL THE PPL SOME OF THE TIME,& SOME OF THE PPL ALL THE TIME,BUT YOU CANNOT FOOL ALL THE PPL ALL THE TIME
Meowth that's right!
Ladies also engage in anal sex with Cool James
eating that whole thing of vegan pad thai amidala and puking in bed
Even Piell
Plo Koon
Ke Nto Ikeda
Anthony Weiner Schnitzel
The Arduous Journey of I'keda on the Road to Eiffel Towering
The Arduous Journey of T'lana on the Road to Enlightenment
look in the tunk
wondering what happened to my burlap oil
wondering what happened to your lip balm
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The PAPER starring The PAPER
wondering if there will ever be a remake of The Rock starring The Rock
fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan
Katherine Pulaski Day
Ki Adi Mundi
Casimir Pulaski Day
Ladies also engage in anal sex with men
Ba'el
Chalchaj'qmey
Your tits are so juicy, dude!
page sixteen
there ain't no rule says a dog can't play basketball
Crocodile penis eats fish
the Crocodile violently emerges from Kozlowski's grundies when she attempts to have sex with a fellow Dundee
Photos of naked mole rats reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked leprechauns emerging from Marines reportedly shared on social media
Photos of naked female Marines reportedly shared on social media
wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis
Solomon Grundies, I hate Mondays
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP smeared on her clothing
stealing Linda Kozlowski's grundies from the communal laundry room
"Chuzwozzer" Dundee
seriously starting to wonder whether Linda Kozlowski actually owned any underwear circa nineteenninety
this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing
"Grundodoc" Crimea
''Crocodile'' Grundie
"Crocodile" Dundee II Colon Me Shiela's Gonna Walkabout In Her Grundies A Bit More I Reckon Fellas
"Crocodun" Diledee
#gaygabeD
#gdaygabe
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
A special message from Crocodile Dundee to Starlight Child Gabe
Borealsuchus Twatt, I hardly know 'em!
"BOREALOSUCHUS" TWATT
"GHARIAL" ABERDEEN
he's probably marching right now for the gay nazis or something
"Deluded" Coercion
"Crocodile" Dundee
nut butter makes me feel good
But here's a little secret that nut butter manufacturers don't want you to know colon In as little as fifteen minutes, you can turn a few handfuls of nuts into creamy, smooth, stick to the roof of your mouth goodness in your own kitchen
If you're a nut butter loving cyclist, you've probably heard of Justin's
I'm always on the hunt for interesting nut butters
Carolina teenager launches nut butter business
Soy nut butter recalled as six people are hospitalized with E coli
BREAKING NEWS! I just taught myself to play "All Star" on the euphonium!
by "in a way" not meaning "furiously masturbating" but "I have a soft spot for any movie that uses the music of Billy Swann to humorous effect"
actually kind of enjoying Thor in a way that you can't say held true for most of the other Marvel movies
well I can't see how it happened, those two were always so careful, they never took any chances
the charges against them were dismissed
I had the impression that those two were sort of under a cloud
the empirical evidence does not appear to agree with your assertion
I mean, Thor was a shitty movie but it wasn't the actor's fault
being shocked to learn in the end credits of Independence Day Colon Resurgence that Generic White Protagonist was played by a Hemworth because he was just so fucking boring and forgettable
being real suspicious of the Swiss cheese at the Franco residence
drawing a picture of Dave Franco balls deep in a wedge of brie
that Dave Franco is banging Alison Brie even though he is clearly the worst of the Francos and that's a low bar
pitching a The Last of Us style dystopian adventure in which Kento reproduces asexually with a cloud of spores
hearing from some Spanish guy that one of them has a potato for a penis
never remembering which Franco brother is which
excellent
I'm horny, horny horny horny
I'm happy, happy happy happy
banging a Tim Burton heroine in the bathroom in California
Sheik Tugboat, if you know what I mean
Sheik Tugboat
kind of love spoon blow, a magnificent bastard, boobs, a pony
pleasure torture kill, a machine, a pony, a shoe
drawing a picture of Kento marrying Chris Lydon, getting fucked by a walrus, then killing himself, in that order
finding Chris Lydon having walrus sex with Kento in your autofill cache
finding Chris Brown having dinosaur sex with agent fifty seven in your autofill cache
your phone being so old it tries to auto fill Brown after Chris
typoing 'happy' for 'horny'
that probably sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive but I mean it
there, normalised disturbing service has been restored, I hope you're happy
fuck marry kill, Santa Claus, a reindeer, a lost child on Christmas Eve
fuck marry kill, a walrus, Chris Lydon, Kento
YOU MOM is a Kento joke
that's a Kento joke
wondering whether a soldier who bleeds for Armenia is Armenstruating
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Insult Turkishness
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an Armenian Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt
furry calk milk, Jewel, Chris Lydon, Gene Hunt
Gayball
Greyball
playing Furry, Calk, Milk with OJ Simpson
playing Fuck, Marry, Kill with OJ Simpson
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become a Mini Firth Cetecean to Zing Donald Trump
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest and Patrick Stewart screams "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"
drawing a picture of Donald Trump peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Mike Pence takes a dump on his chest
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Recreationally Shit on Donald Trump
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump Because Things Seem to be Going Pretty Well Over There at the Moment
Patrick Stewart Wants to Become an American Citizen to Fight Donald Trump
Idiospermum australiense
attempting to order actual gits from Github
attempting to order actual Russian spies with adamantium claws from GRUbub
attempting to order actual grubs from Grubhub
fuck marry kill, Earthlink, a pony, the California girls
Burton's legless lizard
fuck marry kill, Tim Burton, Richard Burton, LeVar Burton
fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel
fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles
chasing salmon with Salmon Chase
fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield
INFERRING ARTHUR'S GOOSE
assuming Garfield's gander
assuming Garfield's gender
Game of Bel Air
Men in Black Mirror
Stranger Men in Black
Wild Wild Westworld
Casey Anthony was "more than likely" the person who used too much chloroform that killed her two year old daughter
snaking the drain, if you know what I mean
snaking the drain on a plane
snaking the drain
that dude's been selling Tony under a corset
that dude's been selling candy on our street
link plz
The Empire Strikes Back but when Han says "never tell me the odds" every episode of Even Stevens and the Even Stevens Movie plays in order and every time they say "even" it speeds up and when they say "Stevens" it cuts to pictures of dickgirls
never tell me the QUEERS
never tell me the odds
be honest, what were the odds that you were ever going to know the passions of the flesh again anyway
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" your heart hardens just a little bit more until you're a cold, dour creature that no longer knows the passions of the flesh or the flights of fancy
Bee Movie trailer but everytime they say "bee" the Cory In the House opening plays
a fictional country containing cultural elements of India, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan and very similar to Bolivia
Newt's first act as student president is to institute a "Chill Zone" where students can hang out
Batman's mouth suddenly wrenches open and his eyes dilate, going in opposite directions, which lasts a good second or two
temporarily believing Larry Craig was that fat comedian who died like last year, but then remembering that was Larry Sanders
misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin'
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about TWO own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
Misleading the Senate in sworn testimony about one own contacts with the Russians is a good way to go to jail
allison walks on sunshine
Open Faced Chicken Gordon Ramsey
it's basically open faced chicken cordon bleu
it's actually pretty good
having to look up Malibu chicken and concluding that it is meant to be eaten when you have drunk a lot of rum, hence the name
actually that's not fair, because I doubt that Trump University would ever teach the skills necessary to make sure you don't run out of the inventory for Malibu chicken
the Forbco Management School of Trump University
Forbco Management School
he said he'd come into you
he said he'd come to you
well, I'm down for it but you have to pay for half of my travel fare
that's a direct quote, that's what he wanted
Anal sex between two men in the missionary position
wondering how much it would cost to comission Seedfeeder to draw a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
An artist's impression of a woman drinking semen
Illustration of an oral cum shot, in which a man ejaculates onto a woman's tongue
to be fair, although she looks like she could drown, she does turn that frown upside down
Seedfeeder used this illustration to announce his retirement from Wikipedia
A depiction of a facial featuring a black man ejaculating onto a white woman prompted criticism, with some users claiming that the image was racist and promoted violence against women
Seedfeeder is a pseudonymous illustrator known for contributing sexually explicit drawings to Wikipedia
Darluniad o ferch yn perfformio anilingus ar ferch arall
'n vrou doen Anilingus by 'n ander vrou
Paglalarawan ng isang babae na dumidila sa butas ng puwit ng isa pang babae
una donna pratica l'anilingus ad un'altra
Eine Frau leckt den Anus einer anderen Frau
Depiction of a woman performing anilingus on another woman
once you Go Ikeda, you Kento Ikeda
The Black Whores of DC
The Back Doors of DC
The Rear Windows of DC
The Real Widows of DC
Beau Biden's Widow Hallie Biden Is Now Dating His Brother Hunter
The GD
The Real Housewives of Grapefruit Duchy
POMELO EMPIRE DEMIMONDAINE
GRAPEFRUIT DUCHY ESCORT
Orange County Whore
going crabbing in a bucket of smashed crabs
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in King of the Underwear
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Beat Off the Devil
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Daisy Chain Lightning
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Butthole Circus
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Key Party Largeo
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in To Shave and Shave Not
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Three on a Man
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Fat Asian Queen
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in Assablanca
bottoming for Humpthee Butthard in The Mantease Foreskin
Pokemon Dicks and Privates
Brock Thursday, Private Dick
Brock Thursday
Ash Wednesday
going round the twist
hockey player Tony Twist sued Todd McFarlane because he named a mobster character in Spawn after Twist
something something the Astor Place Riot something something Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
a dispute between Edwin Forrest, one of the best known American actors of that time, and William Charles Macready, a similarly notable English actor, which largely revolved around which of them was better than the other at acting
fuck marry kill, the father, the son, the holy ghost
wankin' on the HOLY GHOST
wankin' on the FATHER
wankin' on the son
lookin' GAY at the sun
walkin' on the sun
coming to the conclusion that Aerosmith are the American Chas & Dave
jaunty rock ballads about the sexual abuse of a minor and a corresponding murder of the perpetrator
lookin' straight at the sun
bragging about CRUSHING CRIME
GOLDSHARKS
silverfish
he seized power in a bloodless coup, all smotherings
fuck marry kill, Mahatma Gandhi, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi
Gandharva sexual intercourse
Gandharva homicide
Gandharva marriage
looking for hosed anal, big big hosed anal
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got big hosed anal, eh
Amid the ensuing cacophony a group can be heard singing colon "He's got bagel on his head"
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, oy vey
Fight on UK train after people kept placing bagels on travellers' heads, cheerio
fea leads to ange, ange leads to hae
ange
shipping your pants with the trade federation
get to your ships
hate leads to suffering
ange leads to hate
fear leads to ange
fear is the path to the dark side
will I ever see you again
noooooooooooooo
wipe them out, all of them
I will sign no treaty, senator
this is a battle I do not think that we can win
I can only protect you, I can't fight a war for you
fear is my ally
ANAKIN!
our people are dying, senator, we must do something quickly
the innocent
you must contact me
the weak
the federation has gone too far
the strong
fear, fear attracts the fearful
he was meant to help you
the Force is unusually strong with him
he can help you
trusting our fate to a boy we hardly know
are you sure about this
he can see things before they happen
you believe it's this boy
you refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force
there is something else behind all this your highness, they will kill you if you stay
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war
a communications disruption can mean only one thing, invasion
at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we will have revenge
the death of Jan Chapman
LALALAND used BAFFLE! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Pokemon Warren Beatty
topping for Martika in Huge Preteen Crush VII
having impure thoughts about a preteen Martika
Warren Beatty standing center stage surrounded by milling crowds visibly dying for lack of direction his world suddenly inverted and his certainties all fled
He was just a small town stencil and she was a big city sharpie, but this summer you won't believe how easily they produce a precise replica in THE PIXAR MOVIE, starring JACK BLACK and DAKOTA JOHNSON with KEVIN JAMES, SAMUEL L JACKSON and MELISSA McCARTHY
completely forgetting Martika existed and that you had a huge preteen crush on her
guessing that at least half of the Bikini Cavegirl Dancers went on to have careers as XFL cheerleaders
falling down like a domino
painstakingly crafting a scene in which CGI and practical puppetry are combined to flawlessly recreate Laura Dern being informed by a keeper that the Triceratops has blue balls and needs a little hand while Sam Neill backs quietly into the bushes to watch
wondering what it's like to have "Bikini Cavegirl Dancer in a Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis music video" as the most prominent role on your CV
I think he'll get by
not being able to watch the official video of Wank the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Steven Spielberg
Jimmy Kallol
Jimmy Fimmen
not being able to watch the official video of Dinosaur Sex in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, agenty fiftyseven
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separatin' titties
not being able to watch the official video of Walk the Dinosaur in your country so you just went to a third party reupload, guess you just lost one eightieth of a cent in ads, Was Open Parenthesis Not Was Close Parenthesis
Black Pepper's Ghost
finding out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are separate entities
biting into what you thought was a toasted sesame seed but it was actually just a huge piece of black pepper
he's still a virgin in respect to females
signed, Christopher Lydon
he wishes
extra virgin Kento Ikeda
extra virgin Olive Oyl
extra virgin olive oil
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to piledrive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no D wrecked colon for the rest of the day
I'll be honest with you, I don't want to drive no wrecked race car for the rest of the day
Dale Earnhardt Jr after Daytona D wreck colon 'I feel good'
calling in sick instead of doing TPS reports
glove in you is medical malpractice, making no fault damages payments is all I wanna do
when a girl changes from "I like big butts and I cannot lie" to "let's move in together" then she's old enough to abseil into the House of Lords
when a girl changes from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face" then she's old enough to give her heart away
Boba Fetish
ripping Myke Hawke off
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give Myke Hawke away
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give a warty hare, eh
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's too old to give her heart away, signed, Roman Polanski
for money
when a girl changes from bobby sox to stockings then she's old enough to give her heart away
bobby socks
bottoming for David Bummy in Underwear Pressure VII
photoshopping all those images of David Bowie with a huge arse for that David Bummy tumblr you never made
Santa Claus is comin' to
he knows that it's me they've been comin' to
life is a crab beret
SHARING A DRINK THEY CALL LONELINESS during the day
looking out for glasses, big big glasses
big lass savings
big lasses
big glasses
wondering at what point in time the word "fetish" morphed from "I like girls with big boobs and glasses" to "I like watching girls with huge cocks take shits on my wife's face"
if NOT urinating
if urinating
infuriating
racecheck helps athletes explore race locations, and organisers to list, manage and promote events in a unique way
briefly being angry that race checker dot com existed before your brain kicked in
wondering if there is a fetish among walruses where they get off watching their fat gay Asian partners have sex with blue whales
Actual Cuckolds Offended That Term Is Now A Right Wing Insult
another ruined friendship
joke
uhh
you don't know me
if you think that is less impressive you've obviously never raped an edgy cunt
that's somewhat less impressive
all of human history was simply the prelude to this moment
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on edgy cunt rape'
that's literally the best thing anybody has ever done
oh my god i give up you win
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'on a prude cygnet'
drinking dairy free Plenish nutmilk alone during the day
that's an anagram and you can check it if you don't believe me
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to being totes fine yo'
Plenish Cleanse
Oscar nominated Natalie Portman won't attend Academy Awards 'due to pregnancy'
referring to Coppelia as a tick tock dick dock
Dairy Free Nutmilk
giggling like a schoolgirl at Plenish milk
trippin' your nut sack into a frenzy of shit play
drinking alone in Margaritaville
drinking alone in drag duty, eh
Pokemon Dikshit and Rami
sharing a nickname with H out of Steps
According to Dikshit and Rami, the estimation for the aniquity of Bhirrana is based on two calculations of charcoal samples
SEVEN of NINE hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
Star Wars Colon Scunthorpe
Four of five hidden gold objects found in Scunthorpe
sitting up awkwardly in bed and either sliding back down or holding your neck at a bad angle
reading the HYSTERICAL COWBOY story on IXGAG
not being sure that you've ever seen Hot Dog Ellipsis The Movie but feeling certain that it's the kind of crap you would have watched
Clem Pinchfacts
Camp Fistclench
being pretty sure Miley Cyrus never went to college
I'm guessing it didn't really happen
reading the Jolly Rancher story on Reddit
no, you've got it wrong, Dromedary Cops is the Tank for Nothing spinoff
that Smaug bitch
genuinely thinking Battlecreek had somehow morphed into Battle Creek, a dromedary about cops or whatever
Arn Colon The Knight Templar
that smug bitch
drawing a picture of Eleanor patting herself on the back
drawing a picture of Bill Skarsgard eating out Hayden Christensen for role of Henry
For II Years Hayden Christensen was attached to play the lead character of Henry, but role eventually went to Bill Skarsgard
that Battlecreek was actually released, holy shit, but there was no sign of Hayden Christensen
Former Oregon soldier colon From US Army to French Foreign Legion to prison
Mapping the Most Massive Overdensities Through Hydrogen
the author of several books dealing with specifics of Soviet espionage via the KGB and other agencies
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of trannies are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of lick jobs could be devastating
Experts across the travel industry are warning that masses of tourists are being scared away from visiting the United States, and the loss of tourism jobs could be devastating
the name's Tank Engine, Thomas the Tank Engine, double O gauge, licensed to carry goods and passengers
ordained preteen boners
throwing your ass in the air and waving like you just don't care
having your face against the pillow
having your face against the wall
ghost riding can be dangerous and has resulted in between two and eight deaths in North America
ordained boners
the new episodes of Anal Gas Cat
that people use the phrase "back against the wall" to refer to a position with no easy way out, and admittedly it would best to be nowhere near the wall, but having your back against the wall is a lot better than having your face against the wall
ghost riding the whip
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords McGoldenshower
PREORDAINED boners
Holly Madison sues male enhancement pill manufacturer
the new episodes of Lasagna Cat
exorcising Ron's bra demon from the communal laundry room
Ron's bra demon
bottoming for Ron Bonerman in Fuck Marry Kill Slowed Down VII
Ron's doberman
that you should always eat random boners in pairs
random boners
that you should always eat balls in TRIOS
Kill from the Rose Bowl slowed down
Kiss from a Rose slowed down
Laboratory report confirms nerve agent, walrus semen found on Kim Jong nam's face, Malaysian police say
bicameral lesbiaslatures
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge
More than half of lesbians admit to abseiling into the House of Lords
McGoldenshower
McBukkake
McGangbang
that's unsanitary
More than half of Londoners admit to dipping their wick in the office goods
lesbians abseiled into the House of Lords
They are almost killed by Santa on a Zamboni but are saved by Grandpa, who is actually the angel who originally defeated and sentenced Santa
Vienna State Opera opens its doors for the 'ball of balls'
drawing a picture of Elaine being Eiffel Towered by Jerry and NEWMAN!
Elaine on NEWMAN
Elaine on Seinfeld
XV Stars Reminisce About the Actors Who Used to Eat Them Out for Roles
your father's a yuge schlong
your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate's a putz
"they're going for our molten core, you've got four minutes to destroy the queen" sounding more like a threat of four more minutes of Independence Day Colon Whatever than a promise of exciting action finale
your father's a putz
the International Clean Orgy Squad
the International Legacy Squadron
The Regina Pats' Dawson Leedahl, shown in this file photo, scored the overtime winner Monday against the Bear Recliner Rapist
The Regina Pats' Dawson Leedahl, shown in this file photo, scored the overtime winner Monday against the Prince Albert Raiders
using the word "waffelunderbar'
the original Wolfenstein ThreeD but the Schutzstaffel all say 'STROOPWAFEL' when they spot the player and then try to give him stroopwafels
Krusty Gets Kancelled but everybody refers to the Red Hot Chili Peppers as the Red Hot Child Peeners
The entire striptease movie but every time they say strip it gets faster
the man in the the so fucking high castle
Richard Dreyfuss, naked and pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair
more strippery
wondering what it would be like if Demi Moore got the role of Elaine on Seinfeld
Beers, Steers and Queers is an LP released by the Revolting Cocks in nineteenninety
XV Stars Reminisce About the Actors Who Used to Beat Them Out for Roles
Pokemon Steers and Queers
the very notion that you could yank the chain of an entire town of thirty five thousand people
yanking Prince Albert's chain
putting a ring on Gene Talia
fuck marry kill, Gene Hackman, Gene Hunt, Gene Talia
kind of fucking Gene Kill, that married bastard
cremedementhetrails
cremeanglaisetrails
cremebruleetrails
trying not to slather the bed with donkey sauce this time, double O seven
wanting to ship Kento's pants for his birthday
II Garbage II Trashy
wanting to drag some garbage from the trash and serve it in Kento's bun for his birthday
Drag Some Garbage From The Trash And Serve It In A Bun
Nancy Open Parenthesis with the Open Parenthesis Close Parenthesis
Kento Open Parenthesis with the Gaping Ass Close Parenthesis
Make Guy Fieri's Epic BBQ Brisket Sandwich
denying that he was a jolly good fellow
Nancy Open Parenthesis with the Laughing Face Close Parenthesis
the death of Leah Adler
Joonas Suotamo, Wookiee Wrangler
fuck marry kill, Boba the Bounty Hunter, Sith Chapman, and Jar Jar Binks's Twelve Inch Bobblehead
fuck marry kill, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Joonas Suotamo
Pokemon Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Dog the Bounty Hunter, Beth Chapman, and Sheriff Clarke's Eighteen Inch Bobblehead
Currently, the phrase 'Shit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of elderly celebrities and animals of rising tumescence
Putin even sent me a present, a beautiful present with a beautiful note
nanananananananana BAT PRICK
Currently, the phrase 'Bat Prick' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British ring rapists and secret cancers of Moonies
bottoming for Loo Brew in Hard Dark Wetback
Hard Dark Wetback performed extremely poorly during its limited run
Currently, the phrase 'Brit Pack' is often used to describe any disparate group of young British actors and actresses of rising prominence
fuck marry kill, the Rat Pack, the Brat Pack, the Frat Pack
wondering when we'll get a new Pack to succeed Packs Rat, Brat, and Frat, and what it will be called
Jane Witherspoon
The Dark Backward performed extremely poorly during its limited run
getting a raw blow from Rob Lowe
I did joke about giving better head as a result of WIZARDLY sexual abuse committed against me when I was a teen
I did joke about giving better head as a result of clerical sexual abuse committed against me when I was a teen
raw dogging Kento
Although Carroll accurately portrays the biological walrus's appetite for bivalve mollusks, oysters, primarily nearshore and intertidal inhabitants, in fact comprise an insignificant portion of its diet, even in captivity
The Hardest Walrus Pizzle Ever
The Hardest Logic Puzzle Ever
giving a walrus pansies on a date
giving a walrus show on a date
giving a donkey show on a date
making a snuff film on a date
im in ur tarp weeing on ur doodz
watching a donkey show on a date
I have become ur wee tarp
I have become true w rape
I have become pure water
danger, in every corner
something something Roman Polanski something Girl Scout S'mores something back porch
snuffing a date on a watch
tagalongs
watching a snuff film on a date
nonnae stupri nonna
not fucking a nun
fucking a nun
Man shit bed after spray painting on car and firing penis at officers
Man shot dead after spray painting on car and firing penis at officers
Man shot dead after spray painting penis on car and firing at officers
briefly wanting to see the new King Arthur movie even though you've seen like ten of those already and most of them honestly were more bad than good, because of a morbid curiosity about who Jude Law will personally spoon feed per his contractual rider
articulated chipmunks
wondering which of us is a smart, hot, Asian nun
fingered citrons really wanting some elm ass, eh
the oxpecker on the fat kento
the man in the high kento, the walrus in the low kento
the man in the high kento
high kento
some of them also pressed charges
even the citrons down voted him
wondering what Kento's rating on the amazing Sixty Nine Index is fingered citrons
wondering what Kento's rating on the amazing Sixty Nine Index is
fingered citrons
really wanting some elm ass, eh
really wanting some shemales
really wanting some tamales
Supreme Court overturns right to fetal penis fist
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face fetal penis fist, Crown says
eating that swan flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like swan
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face stiff, sexy penalties, Crown says
Men convicted in Quebec maple syrup theft should face stiff penalties, Crown says
being that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken
eating that chicken flavored ramen that make your sweat smell like chicken
hashtag lickalewdcrab
hashtag clickalewdbra
hashtag weirdcallback
Kento Bustyfundamentes
Kento didn't start out with the world's bustiest asshole, he had to work up to it
almost typoing "busiest" instead of "biggest"
Kento didn't start out with the world's biggest asshole, he had to work up to it
I do know who that is
implying that your asshole is the same size as or larger than Kento's
that 'chocolate rain' was not the name of a tactic employed by Cao Cao during the Yellow Turban Rebellion
chocolate rain guy
I don't know who that is
that Tay Zonday is doing a live Q&A stream right now
being gifted rat fisting cocaine
being gifted fist rating cocaine
being gifted a gastric infection
Pokemon Pigeons and Dildos
the warlord Cao Cao waged war against Mr Slutty Brown Anal Teen, eh
the warlord Cao Cao waged war against the Yellow Turban remnants
'Tax The Swan Butts' Says Bill Geese
drying that bra over the dehumidifier
MOISTENING that bra in the clothes MOISTENER
drying that bra in the oldest cherry
drying that bra in the communal clothes dryer
drying that bra in the clothes dryer
trying not to get blackout drunk and shit yourself, double O seven
they totally misrepresented those very wonderful women, I have to tell you, totally misrepresented
'Tax The Robots' Says Bill Gates
cardboard swan butts
swan butts
swan buns
man buns, Tabitha
Tabitha Man Buns
not going all the way man buns
man buns not going all the way
man buns
you've lost me
wondering who Tabitha on regret two zero six eight was and how she found the index
the question is, can Salmon get inside Mainus
Boston Salmon Vs Danny 'My Anus' Mainus
drawing a picture of Borald Johump ad Blazing Homosex wrestling for pole position, with Blazing Homosex taking the come from behind victory with an explosive finish
Blazing Homosex, Podracing Champ
being followed into the bathroom by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX
wondering if all the pathetic farmboys and farmboy slash girls that used to hang around Tosche Station all gave each other lick jobs
probably from some guy's van
being pretty sure that you used to eat Junior Mints as a child but not knowing where the hell you would have got them from
joining the BLAZIN' SQUAD FAN club
Only confirmed bachelors have access to BLAZING HOMOSEX's Tweets and complete profile
joining the BLAZING HOMOSEX club
Only confirmed followers have access to BLAZING HOMOSEX's Tweets and complete profile
This account's Tweets are protected
being followed on twitter by a guy named BLAZING HOMOSEX
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Ed "Sumo" Idle
bombogenesis
Kim Jong nam really looking like the Asian Dom Deluise
he's a screamer
that's usually the way it goes
fucking Ryan out loud
Yuge Svagina
Biggs Svagina
kissing me wont bring back your god damn CANDY GIRL
killing me wont bring back your god damn honey
wondering if all the pathetic farmboys and farmboy slash girls that used to hang around Tosche Station all gave themselves superfluously overblown surnames or if if was just Luke and his idiot friends
where they gets several lines of dialogue
Star Wars Colon Rogue Squadron Three Colon Rebel Strike
Luke Skywalker, Colon Detective
Luke Skywalker Colon Detective
Their character is expanded upon in the Star Wars radio drama, where they gets several lines of dialogue
Greedo become one with the living force, Mr Skywalker!
Geech gone to heaven, Mr Terwilliger!
Windy Starkiller
Biggs's S vagina
big gas savings
having to call off your hate crime because you couldn't get a ride
those crazy left wingers with their unconditional love for their neighbors and their lunatic notions of healing the sick and feeding the poor
How The Grinch Shipped My Pants
the Lord's plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they're revolting against what God's plan is for America
the death of Burn a Dick
FBI agent Grant Lowe wrot
the death of Dick Bruna
Benjamin McDowell was arrested in Myrtle Beach shortly after buying the XXXX caliber Glock and ammunition for $CIX from the agent who picked him up at his mother's house, then took him to his grandfather's house to get the money, FBI agent Grant Lowe wrot
tell me more tell me more, did he go into shock, tell me more tell me more, did you deskin his cock
summer deglovin', happened so fast
Luigi Boccherini's older brother, Boccherini Boccherini
I just shipped my drawers
HNLMS Walrus
theobromine
my gland scraped a pipe
an astonishing repetitiveness, an affection for extended passages with fascinating textures but virtually no melodic line, an obsession with soft dynamics, a unique ear for sonority, and an unusually rich palette of introverted and mournful affects
A photo of security footage shows a suspect wearing a shirt with "LOL" on it in Sepang, Malaysia
I don't think there's ever been a president elected who in this short period of time has done what we've done
eating liver and eggplant with Rene Auberjonois
Penis Rapist Twenty Twenty
Pokemon Torn Penis and Porn Nut Rapist
wondering if Vice President Mike Pence knows his name is an anagram of Me Pink Erect Penis Device
Pokemon Trump and Toddler Penis
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Torn Penis Addled Trump
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Meddled Porn Nut Rapist
wondering if President Donald Trump knows his name is an anagram of Muddled Rape Porn Stint
gay moth runes
Rearward Thrawb, Chiss Grand Admiral
bottoming for Vice Admiral Rearward Throb in The Dreaded Rear Admiral VII
wondering if Robert Harward knows his name is an anagram of Rearward Throb
books, cards, lighters, none will stop a bullet
inferring a penny inferring a pound
HP Lovecroft turns down Trump's national security offer
Robert Harward turns down Trump's national security offer
trying to do the old "what's long and hard and filled with seamen" joke with Kento and just getting this blank stare before he eventually mumbled "Kento"
'Pugwash' was Australian slang for a form of oral sex
Ancient Human Ancestor Had Huge Mouth, No Anus
that the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were destroyed by an unconventional energy weapon that can be directed and thus is referred to as a form of what are called "directed energy weapons"
the x is like an asterisk to remind you that it's not a real TED talk, just some guy with an axe to grind they found at the bus station
generally wondering what kind of person sits through a TEDx talk
a theory of those who find it hard to avoid their taxes, who are too small, incompetent or insufficiently connected to win Iraq reconstruction contracts, or otherwise chow at the state trough
the Chicago Boys
Operation Atlantis
Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj
the Republic of Minerva
feeling like there's a TEDcruz talk to be given about all those people at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
Morsey Dick
Walrus Dick
if his chest had been a Blastoise, he would have shot his Mega Launcher upon it, and it would have been super effective
even though his biggest life accomplishment is catching all the pokeymons
wondering what kind of person would be willing to sit through eighteen minutes of talking about some socially retarded freeter virgin who is so stupid he still thinks that he's in the top one percent most intelligent people on the planet
Concombaffe
feeling like there's a TEDXXX talk to be given about all this Kento crap we pulled
feeling like there's a TEDx talk to be given about all this Kento crap we pulled
DAS KAPITAL hog peckers
CAPITAL hog peckers
top hog peckers
gecko prophets
secret pocket gophers
Cassius in the house
c'mon baby, c'mon sugar, c'mon honey
pocket gophers
High Cholesterol Buttered Women
High Class Buttered Women
know challenge is to grate
no dream is too big, no challenge is to great
High Class Battered Women
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges ass to ass sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges end to end sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges child to child sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges child to end sexual exploitation
US actor Ashton Kutcher urges end to child sexual exploitation
pretty much all of them
you'd better get ready for a long wait, there are a LOT of ugly lumpy Scottish guys she hasn't banged yet
it's basically an excuse to try and get in line for Scarlett Johansson
I'd watch that
pitching a supernatural comedy in the Joe Dante tradition about a group of Cornish mine spirits who find themselves inhabiting a Washington DC Hootersesque establishment, Capitol Knockers
a female addition to the Sweathogs introduced mostly as eye candy
having your cervix pummeled by Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks
As a background actor, Terrio received no credit
He alleged that his publicity rights were violated by the gecko and figurine
Don't Watch Colon The Movie
don't watch the movie
that you still haven't watched the old X Files episodes, or the movie, except for maybe that season with the rapid ageing on a ship, and that one with beetles that shoot out of people's faces because they smoke, and some of that ridiculous ending episode
Corn on the Coblynau
fixing your loose stools with Julia's tools
scrubbing Jewel's bust
fixing your loose tiles with Julia Stiles
TRUMP'S FARTS
TRUMP'S PARTS
Weather pattern shaped like penis over Toowoomba
TRUMP SPORTS
poorly conceived sports leagues, professional wrestling, scantily clad women, NBC, and giving guys jobs they were clearly not qualified to have
wondering how it is possible that Donald Trump was not involved somehow in the XFL because it seems like the kind of shit he would be all over
Pokemon Knockers and Hooters
busting Jewel's scrubs
feeling pretty OK about referring to breasts as scrubs or busters
Pokemon Scrubs and Busters
wondering what the was that led breasts to be known as knockers or, for that matter, hooters, because they neither knock nor hoot
a Coblynau is a sprite who thinks he's fly and is also known as a knocker
Coblynau are mentioned in the Constantine episode "The Darkness Beneath", but the description of the creatures given is closer to knockers
Coblynau
not having seen the new Black Mirror but quite liking the old ones
that you still haven't watched the new X Files episodes
wondering whether you've seen Black Mirror and whether it's any good because I'm downloading it now
basically giving up on The OA after one episode
something something Scarlett Johansson something a lot of work something unnatural something multiple partners
Scarlett Johansson Reveals She Thinks Monogamy Is Not 'Natural' Colon 'It's a Lot of Work'
also, the main character's mom is the Borg Queen, case closed
it's like their big introductory scene and everything but they're both completely naked and before any words come out of her mouth he's cum inside her and is getting a noisy blowjob, which, you know, would be hot if they weren't pretending to be children
sex between two minors is disgusting, signed, Roman Polanski
trying to watch The OA but being wierded out by the extremely graphic simulated sex scene between two minors, and also the boring, shitty plot
wondering who the most famous person ever to have fucked a kid is and thinking it's probably Michael Jackson
wondering who the most famous person ever to have fucked a dog is and thinking it's probably Mao Zedong
he traded it for a Blowie
he didn't even get a medal
poor Chewie
he'll probably try and pin it on Chewie again
feeling like they really shouldn't issue pilot's licenses to stock characters
he always plays by his own rules
The FAA is investigating Harrison Ford after the actor reportedly landed a single engine aircraft on the wrong part of a Southern California airport, flying directly over an airliner that was preparing for takeoff
Mel Brooks spoofed the first three "Star Wars" movies in MCMLXXXVII with "Spaceballs," which starred Brooks, Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Daphne Zuniga and Dick Van Patten
Star Wars Colon Episode I Colon The Phantom Menace but every time a B One Battledroid says Roger Roger it says Ridged For Your Pleasure instead
wololo
the death of Pang Xiong
Kim Jong Nam Fucking Shit
the death of Kim Jong Nam
Georgia homeowner caught having sex with landscaper's kid
Georgia landscaper caught having sex with homeowner's dog
Eragon, OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot
a tree
a country road
waiting for qwantz dot com
having a weird "back in college" dream where you had a girlfriend, a bloo bloo bloo
the Long Shame Turbos
the Houston Gamblers
YouTube Cancels PewDiePie Show, Pulls Channel from Ad Program After His Death to All Jews Stunt
making like a banana and splitting and uploading the video to Pornhub
making like a banana and splitting
CAIMEO
being unable to believe it's not faceer
being unable to believe it's not butter
Joey Loves Chandlie
drawing a picture of Joey chandling a banger, cheerio
P Diddy claims to have insider information that bears 'shit in woods'
Moby claims to have insider information that Trump is in 'collusion with the Russian government'
lending your bee jokes to a dishonest Jerry Seinfeld
Acanthostega gunnari
II Seinfeld II Colon
going Seinfeld to Colon
Seinfeld II Colon A XXX Parody
Half the entire Bee Movie except ipso facto half not bee
The entire Bee Movie except every instance of the word bee is replaced by Michael Richards screaming nigger
The entire Bee Movie except whenever they say bee it cuts to Jerry Seinfeld getting a BJ
Seinfeld Colon A XXX Parody
Hold Thrill Kiss Kill Bill Volumes I and II
topping for David Carradine in Strangler Things VII
when the rain starts to fall
bottoming for Chandler Bang in I'll Pee There for You VII
The Bee Movie But It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin
like once
Stranger Things but every time someone asks "what kind of things" it cuts to the whole 'Cooking By The Book' song
Bangler Chan
Joey is also probably chandling Banger
Joey is also probably banging Chandler
everybody knows badger loves mashed potato and that Rachel and JOEY were the superior pairing, and that any reunion show would have to make it abundantly clear that they're at least banging even if she's still with Ross
'nother shout out to ROSS
'nother shout out to rachel
the Apega of Nabis
Margaret's English and Japanese names are a reference to Margaret Thatcher, who is also known as the Iron Lady
don't worry, you'll have another chance to make that joke in another million regrets or so
hey guys, remember eight eight eight eight eight
writing "dipping a windsock in cement" instead of "seven eight nine ten, eleven twelve" as you had intended
GAUREPIDEMIC used BUFFALOPOX! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you're not in
Sorry, this content isn't available right now
dude, MINOS SPERMARCHED himself
dude, MYCENAE MENSTRUATED himself
dude, Troy peed himself
GAUREPIDEMIC
BUFFALOPLAGUE
BUFFALOpox
cowpox
you probably shouldn't be blaming The Learning Channel
I'm sorry you have AIDS
chasing waterfalls even though you were SPECIFICALLY prohibited from doing so by TLC
berating Chick
berating Duck
berating Dick
beating Dick
after Dick loses a battle against the player
Firebreather Richard
gag reflex
President Lovelace would never be impeached, because she had no gag reflex
drawing a picture of President Lovelace being Freedom Eagle'd by Tim Duncan and a dirty old man
playing Dirty Old Man in Linda Lovelace for President with Tim Duncan
playing Dirty Old Man in Linda Lovelace for President
'Arry Copper
Hermione Granger, cop snogging porno penis
he wisely invested his money with a partnership in a chain of car washes, which brought him considerable financial success
bottoming for Chief O'Harder and Cuminsideya Gordon in Cop Snogging Porno Penis
not getting uncircumcised
I guess I was just enamored with the concept of a cop snogging porno penis'
shit, I screwed that one up
Purdue Technology students build cop snogging porno penis
Purdue Technology students build supersonic HERMIONE GRANGER gun
Purdue Technology students build supersonic ping pong gun
the death cum in a rape vial
the death of Raymond Smullyan
such cow cum in a rape vial
CUBOID BUFFALO in a DRYER
could you exhibit them at the circus like two ornamental turkeys, do your ears hang low
spherical cows in a vacuum
regrets about brony blowing
regrets aboot lop bunny wig
regrets about bony plowing
Golf Magazine Colon Thirty Six Great Holes Starring Fred Couples
Edible Anus Dark Milk White Belgian Chocolate Gift Box
faceon, faceoff
The Curious Case of Benjamin Faceon
Five Butts of Darkness
banging a minor heroine face
Hannibal, Murdock, BA, and Butt
Beavis and Face Head
Baby Butt Nelson
The Man Without a Butt
Butts of Death
ButtSlashOff
Scarbutt
I believe that it is going to be retconned into the Faceverse along with FaceSlashOff, Faces of Death, and Funny Face
now, I know what you're thinking about those other picks but hear me out here colon 'Bustytown colon The Movie', with the most terrifying antagonist of all
wondering whether Scarface will be part of Universal's Monsters shared universe or whether it will be part of a Scariverse featuring Scarface, Richard Scarry, and Scarlett Johansson
Quantum Rape
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion
tomme au marc de raisins
Hans Sprungfeld
getting sprung
Winona Ryder Is Pizza
Winona Ryder Eats Pizza
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider's butt
something something Galadriel something Hobbit pork something
it's not that hard being a film cricket
oiling pricks
oiling traps
oiling pecs
oiling pics
Woman bites off her boyfriend's spectacles after arguing with him when she returned late home from church
drawing a picture of Iceman and Madmartigan kissing each other and oiling up each other's pics while Fat Val Kilmer masturbates with one hand and shovels pork rinds into his mouth with the other
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Nelwyn
this guy was the limit
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Lollipop Guild
drawing a picture of Kento being beaten up by the Munchkins
I Wore Perfume Made From My Sharona to See if It Would Get Me Younger Dates
loquacious practition
precocious lactation
banging a minor heroine butt
Scottish Parliament 'vented firm wine shit'
Scottish Parliament 'infested with vermin'
I Wore Perfume Made From My Vagina to See if It Would Get Me Better Dates
Woman bites off her boyfriend's testicles after arguing with him when she returned late home from church
Han banged a Tim Burton heroine first
Myke Hawke for Your Senior Pictures
Myke Hawke for My Senior Pictures
Untitled Han Solo Only a Goth film
Jabba the Hutt Colon The Art of the Deal
Untitled Han Solo Anthology film
wondering what Belarussian thought that "Han shot first" deserved its own translated wikipedia page
Han filed for bankruptcy protection first
I SHALL always fire my proton pistol full blast to murder the Rodian bounty hunters sent to collect on my innumerable outstanding debts
I SHALL blast at full space speed to protect the Weak and Innocent
Rod Brown of the Rocket Rangers
finding it hard to believe that the star of Evil Toons has been gone almost a decade
bottoming for Kumagai and Fukaya in The Sixty Nine Stations of the Nakasendo
consuming Hard D's products
Hard D
The Sixty Nine Stations of the Nakasendo
Kill Bill but every time someone says Bill it plays David Carradine's choking noises
Kung Fu but every time someone says Kung Fu it's David Carradine's sex noises instead
Michael Hutchence provided the soundtrack
CHOKE David Carradine
RIP David Carradine
being kind of surprised there's no erotic asphyxiation porn parody called Strangler Things
pinniped needed
cetacean needed
going around putting open bracket citation needed closed bracket tags on every unsourced sentence on wikipedia
lightening boxes of brew with Bruce Boxleitner
Adele getting a Dell and getting laid in Adelaide
The Viability of Moral Dissent by the Pokemon
Easy D
The Viability of Moral Dissent by the Military
The XFL
Pokemon Disarming and Demilitarizing
Pokemon Disheartening and Demoralizing
the New Jersey life of macaroni rascals
rubbing her left one out until she had a breastgasm
Eric Henry Edward Tovey
William Fritz Afflis
Principal Kohoutek
my ass for my senior pictures
Pokemon Some Mentally Incompetent Individual With a Flair for Old Latin and The Wars of Antiquity
some mentally incompetent individual with a flair for old Latin and the wars of antiquity
Pokemon Knockers and Gazongas
the homeowner knew in his heart that he was a good person and a smart person and the kind of person who would never accidentally leave the stove on and drop a handtowel onto the burner
being frankly disappointed that there is no Extremely British slang term for breasts
Pokemon Tits, Arse, and Fanny
Important Big Bird Areas
office of the prime minister
knicker drawer
tits, arse and fanny
Important Bird Areas
like a punch on the dick of Mr Spock
like a pinch on the neck of Mr Spock
feeling like a potentially less effects heavy and more kid friendly X Man would be Miceman
Kenneth Bryan Raper Singer
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big senior penis behind my ass for my head pictures
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big head penis behind my ass for my senior pictures
oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big ass penis behind my head for my senior pictures
caught us in our special time, Elvis
tisters
oygers
Asian oyster helicopters
Asian helicopter tigers
Asian helicopter moms
Asian oyster moms
Asian tiger moms
I should have learned to play them drums
I should have learned to play the guitar
Russia blocks regret site The amazing Regret Index over claims it is damaging to the 'cheap shy mun'
the kid was screaming pretty loud
The son of the founder of the Greggs bakery chain abused a boy after letting him drive his car, a court has heard
Battlestar Galactica Colon The Second Coming
Clifford the Big Red Raper
Red Raper was a pioneer in the study of fungal sexual genetics
Kenneth Bryan Raper
Asian oyster tigers
Russia blocks regret site The amazing Regret Index over claims it is damaging to the 'human psyche'
Jimmy Fallon, if you're reading this, feel free to use that joke
It's not the first time people at Penn State have turned their backs on a young person going down
Police Colon Penn State frat waited twelve hours to call paramedics after student's deadly fall
CHUMP STEAKS
Russia blocks porn site Brazzers over claims it is damaging to the 'chump hyenas'
Russia blocks porn site Brazzers over claims it is damaging to the 'human psyche'
Asian oyster mosquitoes
Asian tiger mosquitoes playin' with the boys in the bathroom at church
Asian oysters
Asian tiger mosquitoes
playin' with the boys in the bathroom at church
feeling like the popularity of the "alt right" is somehow your own fault for not taking Bubba Sparxxx fans seriously
nobody worrying about him
wondering what Kenny Loggins's mutant powers are
the young Iceman confronts his older self, who confirms that he is gay as hell
the young Iceman confronts his older self, who confirms that he is gay as well
wondering if there is an issue of X Men where Iceman and Maverick play unspeakably homoerotic beach volleyball while Kenny Loggins screeches out "PLAAAAAYIN'! PLAYIN' WITH THE BOYS!"
bottoming and topping for Jubilee in Ex Men Sixty Nine LXIX
bottoming for Gambit sixty times in Private School Scandals VII
A photograph that purports to document Mike Pence's past actually shows pornographic actor Brad Patton
The criteria are "small hands" and "unique hair
bottoming and topping for Gambit in Sixty Nine Jubilee VII
Klouto
I don't wanna lead you down on the road
ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht
Scatmans World
Raped Fruitiness
Satisfied Pruner
Infuriated Press
a sudden influx of them Apache
Defiant Surprise
Kento's Klout knowhow
Based on advice from his grandfather, Peter decides the whole damn country is gone all to hell and his prostate is killing him
Based on advice from his grandfather, Peter decides to camp on Erica's lawn until she realizes that she loves him
Cinderelmo
wondering when Donald Trump is going to release his complementary line of TRUMP SHAKES
wondering what they call a sixty nine year jubilee
a sudden influx of cheap meat
suspiciously bouyant Trump Steak futures
I want to fuck you like democracy
this is how democracy dies, like an animal, and being slaughtered, like an animal, yippee, sand lover
wanting to make Kento spontaneously combust for his birthday
that's not a good birthday present, you should be nicer to him
wanting to make Kento inter library loans for his birthday
liberty is a funny place to keep your books
being pretty sure that she says "liberty"
"this is how democracy dies," says President Trump, reading from an autocue, adding "I signed what"
bottoming for Rex Regnat and Non Gubernat in I Am The Senate VII
on the plus side, she's probably getting a lot of residual checks
"this is how democracy dies," says Queen Amidala
This Domain is currently for sale through StopDaddyNoDaddy auctions
This Domain is currently for sale through GoDaddy auctions
that, honestly, if you could get the bank loan you'd need to buy the domain and set up a clothing retailer there, you'd totally buy shipmytrousers dot co dot uk
Outlaws and Murderers in Power
that, honestly, if you could get the bank loan you'd need to buy the domain and set up a clothing retailer there, you'd totally buy shipmypants dot com
same old story, yeah it's getting kind of gory
VEGETALIEN cuisses de grenouille
Young Couple Duff & Eda
cuisses de grenouille
Scott Kelly's gay butt
No prior experience, no need for psychic abilities, just an open heart and the willingness to learn a dry rape scare
it don't really matter to me, baby, oh, everybody's had to fight to be free
wasting your time acquiring bona fide psychic powers instead of a credit rating
No prior experience, no need for psychic abilities, just an open heart and the willingness to learn a Sacred Prayer
Cashmeoutsidic records
Akashic records
the chocolate rainbow ruse
wanting to crown Kento Worm Gruntin' Queen of the Ball for his birthday
The event includes a ball and the crowning of a "Worm Gruntin' King and Queen"
salamander brandy
How a year in space affected ache ire in Scott Kelly's gay butt
How a rape in ye sac affected the bacteria in Scott Kelly's gut
How a year in space affected the bacteria in Scott Kelly's gut
hepwori dot github dot io slash execorder
Pokemon Bludgeon and Castor Oil
Panties de la fourmi
I didn't know they made Mr T cup bras
Pacte de famine
I'm sorry, their souls are currently being put to work advertising for an Irish pizzeria chain
the Pawnee have returned, they probably want their souls back
leasing Wedge Antilles a wedgie in the Lesser Antilles
your aunt wedging her heels in Wedge Antilles' armpits
ATBIMS y'all so childish OMGSKLKZFCBNUF
Nature is cruel colon Walruses can't stop using dead birds as their sick play things
I didn't know they made T cup bras
the rainbow dash ruse
'Dangerous' man jailed after having sex with neighbour's pony
T women caught performing sex act in busty shopping centre
Two men caught performing sex act in busty shopping centre
going commando in another man's DICKGIRLigues
a Jordanian newspaper printed a caricature of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon sitting in a tank and laughing at an Arab man chasing a Pokemon
going commando in another man's fatigues
wanting to put Kento in the Wieners Circle for his birthday
The Wieners Circle
eating that whole thing of Apache taco mayo
misreading "super platter bucket" as "super slut bucket"
Apache taco mayo
wanting to make Kento a super splatter bucket for his birthday
automatically thinking of poppers as alkyl nitrites rather than stuffed jalapenos
POOPERS OF THE CARIBBEAN
misreading "super platter bucket" as "super splatter bucket"
TACOZONY
wondering if Firefox is actually less functional now than it was ten years ago as you suspect, or if you are just older and crankier
the way pretty much nothing works in Chrome mobile
A photographer took pictures of people before and after she called them beautiful
POPPERS OF THE CARIBBEAN
Apache Pizza
Oak likes Mankey porn
Oak likes man porn
Link makes a porno
animal porks Keno
melanin pork soak
rape monk nails KO
Manlike Poo Ranks
rape monk nails OK
a mink's poor ankle
Roman Pokelanski
There were a number of other sexualized scenes, such as one in which Ash and Brock are stunned at the sight of Misty in a bikini and another in which an older man appears to be attracted to her
looking at your government trying to negotiate Brexit and thinking "at least Lando Calrissian had rhythm, and that Colt XLV brand deal"
The entire pee movie but every time they say pee it gets faster
Fatdolf Hipsler
Cheesecake Vital For America's War Effort! When You Eat Cheesecake Alone, It's Hitler Who Gets Fat!
Police Surround Quality Inn, Pasadena, Near the Rose Bowl
urinium
Man Throws Homemade Bomb Into Pasadena Cheesecake Factory
But test scores are how much the parents make
Man Armed With Machete and Gun Shoots Hawthorne Police Officer
A man went on a rampage Monday evening, smashing car windows with a machete in Koreatown and officers caught him in the act, according to officials
A thirtyfive year old man suffered cuts to his face after he was attacked, possibly with a machete, Monday morning, Los Angeles police said
A man who allegedly threatened people with a hatchet led El Segundo police on a short pursuit that ended with the suspect being fatally shot Wednesday afternoon in the Westchester area, just north of Los Angeles International Airport
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
A serving member of the Royal Marines is facing years behind bars after admitting stockpiling explosives and Northern Ireland police uniforms in preparation for a terrorist attack
seeing an ugly girl's selfies with watermarks on deviantart and wanting to write "anybody can get laid, you want a room with a fire escape"
IIIItoto type Pokemon
seeing an ugly girl's selfies with watermarks on deviantart and wanting to write "dude, nobody is ever going to steal these"
His Coconut Gun can fire in spurts
a "moist cud Catholic ass" run by a lawyer with links to the Archbishop of Canterbury
on your way to a new age tension headache
An all female horror anthology featuring new work from Karyn Kusama, Annie Clark, Roxanne Benjamin and Jovanka Vuckovic
some kind of torso deviate technology
that you always hear about X rated films and XXX rated films, but it seems like nobody ever hits that sweet spot you need for a XX rating
some kind of video toaster technology
Trump is toking ass roach, turgid lord says
Trump is taking slug or radish, doctor says
that pretty much says he's at increased risk of prostate cancer
Trump is taking hair loss drug, doctor says
a "sadomasochistic cult" run by a lawyer with links to the Archbishop of Canterbury
wondering what you've been eating to give yourself such sulfury shits lately
that there are no Pokemon based on cockchafers
emergency cube concentrate, for when you absolutely, positively must have cubes on time
RepMed vita paste
the Centipede's Lemma
the Centipede's Dilemma
Melolontha pectoralis
Illegitimate receivers, such as female Photuris beetles, identify these signals and use them to locate the male Photinus, attract them with deceptive signals, and eat them
the rainbow ruse
Butte Smashing Misdemeanor Teens
a fifteen year old in Butte, Montana, was also cited with misdemeanor criminal mischief and theft for pulling a similar prank
getting your gallon smashed by Harvey Cream
bottoming for Sharon Love Triangle in Square Peg, Round Hole VII
wondering how Naomi fits into the Marge slash Norah slash Sharon love triangle
reading the wikipedia page for "gallon smashing" and learning that what kids these days call "internet memes" we used to call "vandalism"
"Norah's moods," Naomi moans, "doom Sharon"
this gay right here
He goddamn mad dog, eh
Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram
you could at least buy me dinner if you're going to keep asking
Semen sollicitationis
Crimen sollicitationis
sent to dra i a i ain
the world is a vampire
Bee Shrek Test in the House
Because Shiva considered Ganesha too alluring, he gave him the head of an elephant and a protruding belly
Harambe's grandmother Josephine put to death at Miami zoo
Pokemon Flaccid and Erect Human Penises
Category colon Flaccid and erect human penises in comparison
The Placid Flaccid Walrus
this guy right here
this guy right here
The Saggy Baggy Elephant
wanting something else to get your through this semicharmed kind of life, life, baby
fascinoma
receiving the hugest antidump
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses not zebras
antidumping
you wanna go where people know, our troubles are all the same, you wanna go where everybody just sort of tapped out on speed
wanting something else to get your through this semicharmed kind of life, baby baby
bottoming for Christopher Lee in Tyranused to Death VII
The man, named as Mr Zhang, was TYRANUSED to death in front of visitors including his wife and two children, for whom he had bought SEASON tickets
The man, named as Mr Zhang, was mauled to death in front of visitors including his wife and two children, for whom he had bought tickets
wishing you'd bought into scrambled eggs all over my face, mercy futures last year
wishing you'd bought into tossed salad futures last year
wishing you'd bought into word salad futures last year
the Democratic National Committee was hacked successfully, very successfully, and terribly, frankly, and the Republican National Committee was not hacked, meaning it was hacked but they failed
Top IX Successful Former Pony Blowers
Top IX Successful Former Ritually Humiliated Sex Workers
when times go BARK, when times go RUFF
Jesus, King of the Cosmopolitan Elites in the Media that Live in a Handful of Our Larger Cities
TIME Is MONEY Magazine
Herostratus
Cassia fistula
that apparently TIME Magazine is doing the clickbait thing where they have an article like "Top Ten Things in Your Refrigerator that are Killing You! You Won't BELIEVE Number Ten!" and then making you click to a different ad saturated page for each entry
Bottom XCMMMM Unsuccessful Former Playboy Bunnies
Top IX Successful Former Playboy Bunnies
all women are bunnies
taking Ryan's fullest dump
London Swan what
taking Ryan's full measure
London Swan, moments after losing the Pokemon World Championships junior division to Kota Yamamoto
he did create the Regret Index, after all
Ryan gave his full measure for our nation, and in performing his duty, he upheld the noblest standard of military service
Saint Carannog's mystical floating altar
that so many of the Gen VII pokemon are so fucking slow
One Australian migrant, arrested over the alleged rape and sexual assault of two women, is still at large after over six years on the run from Swedish police
when times go bad, when times go rough
pariah dogs
Three men, including two migrants from Afghanistan, have been arrested over the alleged three hour gang rape of a woman in Uppsala, Sweden, that was broadcast on Facebook Live
Lou Carcolh
sat sri akal
I'm sorry baby, my mind's made up by the way I feel
the wine whine merger
wanting to hear a mashup of Love is All Around and I Didn't Mean to Turn You On
wondering when people are going to realize that comparing Trump to Hitler just makes him happy
To show a partisan political leaning on a military vehicle is very reminiscent of Nazi Germany
Geller, who was hovering overhead in a helicopter, claimed that he managed to move the paint can when Chicago's Kevin McCallister was about to swing it into a burglar's face, something that, if true, would be against the rules of Home Alone
Geller, who was hovering overhead in a helicopter, claimed that he managed to move the ball from the penalty spot when Scotland's Gary McAllister was about to take a penalty kick, something that, if true, would be against the rules of association football
As Left Eye's rap begins, she is in a garage like place with white clothes on while rapping
I Have No Scrubs and I Must Scream
totally understandable
I Have A Yuge Mouth and No Anus and I Must Scream
I Have A Huge Mouth and No Anus and I Must Scream
Pokemon A Huge Mouth and No Anus
a huge mouth and no anus
Procter & Gamble is turning heads with its new Super Bowl commercial starring the iconic Mr Clean as a domestic sex symbol
Stupid Soldiers
the death of Masaya Nakamura
to provide the American public with robust and clearly articulated misinformation
Crab Luau, Lel
All Club Urea
Cue Ball Raul
her tits look very Australian
thinking Shailene Woodley must be Australian because of her name
Direct exchange of meat for sex has not been observed
The researcher took steps to prevent any possibility of coins being traded for sex after his suspicions were aroused
The monkey that was paid for sex immediately traded the silver disc for a grape
During one chaotic incident, a researcher observed what appeared to be a monkey exchanging a disc for sex
It is rumored that sex on a billiard table with a maid precipitated his demise, but this account is disputed, with other sources stating that he died of pneumonia
writing decided when you intended to write disappointed
being decided that there is nothing in the Talk page of List of lists of lists debating whether List of lists of lists of lists deserves its own article
until we can figure out what the hell is going on I am declaring Martian Law
Some of the linked articles are themselves lists of lists of lists
List of lists of lists
Pokemon Offensive and Unconstitutional
Mike Pence tweeted that calls to ban Muslims from entering the US are "offensive and unconstitutional"
seriously, genuinely expecting that at some point on Monday, Trump will issue an executive order targeting two Brooklyn plumbers and demanding the return of his meteor rock
the Super Mario Bros movie being the prophetic vision of tomorrow's America nobody thought could ever happen
I Was A Teenage Mammal XXX
The Chippewa believed that the tall seesaw could kill the dreaded wendigo giant by rushing up its anuse
The Chippewa believed that the least weasel could kill the dreaded wendigo giant by rushing up its anus
topping for Thistlecrack in Clench Victory VII
Neither having sex with a person between the ages of fourteen to seventeen nor adult prostitution is illegal in Italy, but paying a person under eighteen for sex is a crime punishable by up to three years imprisonment
the death of many clouds
lies about how pantie ants work
Mario's Cubone
Carrie's Raticate
Garey's Raticate
Gary's Raticate
bottoming for Peen Dongsley in Rear Ender's Game
Ender's gay mom
gamergate ants
lies about how ants work
wondering how much money Ben Kingsley lost
tender shy rape
Ender's Therapy
Sergeant James DAP
Harrison Ford spent the first ten minutes obsessively watching a pubescent child's POV through an invasive implant
Early in the film's development, Card considered changing Graff to a female character, recommending a "dry comic" such as Janeane Garofalo or Rosie O'Donnell for the role
because literally the only time I've ever fallen asleep on an airplane was watching Ender's Game
has Harrison Ford shown up yet
that not even ten minutes in there's a scene which you can only assume is a proxy for all the choke fucking the director's older brother did to them
Ender's Game is so, so bad
girls have always responded positively when I compliment their torsos and barely noticeable abs and tell them what I want to do to their vulvas during pillow talk
sucking her left one until she had a mushroom kingdom
Peach's fingers trailed to her chest, down between Daisy's breasts, slowly down her torso, feeling her barely noticeable abs, and finally to her vulva
finding it increasingly difficult to tell genuine erotic fanfiction from satire
It was really sexy but just then Mario was comeing my "mamma mia MY PIPES ARE GOIN TO BURTS" he yelled and filled both with his sperm and semen which they really felt was a sexy finle
finding it hard to believe that Mario can even draw a circle
wondering whether it would at least try not to get actively worse with every passing second
They had a really sexy and good time and MArio felt that it was a great reward for his victory but than later he found ou that he had gotten both Rosalina and Peach pregnet with twins
wondering whether Ender's Game will improve after the cold open of an impressively emotion free voiceover over the spectacle of fighter jets shooting a large lump of cinder toffee
the house at Penis Corner
erotic fanfiction written by people whose penises have corners
erotic fanfiction written by people whose only sexual experience is reading erotic fanfiction
that you're suddenly very interested in the origins of the juices out of Peach's insides trope
having a finger full of juices
regrets about plumber blowing
He began pushing his finger in and our of her, feeling her insides filling up his finger with more juices
YES MARIO RELEASE IT INSIDE ME
Peach mischievously giggled as she licked the edges of Mario's shaft upon hearing him whimper in pleasure
Mario's eyes widened once more gazing on Peach's D cup sized breasts
that your own autobiography will be reduced to mean toon ire fan fiction
that your own autobiography will be reduced to Mario on teen fan fiction
that your own autobiography will be reduced to tie near moon fan fiction
Lohan is reportedly researching a role for her new film, Herbie Colon Caged Cum Rapes I
Lohan is reportedly researching a role for her new film, Herbie Colon Academic Purges
Lindsay Lohan Returns to Instagram After Meeting with President of Turkey Colon 'What a Dream It Is'
dipping a windsock in semen
that's what it feels like sometimes
dipping a windsock in cement
buying a little usb vacuum, using it once, and then completely forgetting about it for over a year
cake or death
not quite Karate Kid III, but it's up there
X Men Colon The Last Stand is incredible
he was running for the Teen Choice Award for Best Frozen Meal
being relatively certain that you haven't seen an X Men movie since the second one, or maybe bits of the third one, but only really remembering any of the first one, and being fine with that
what was he running for
Ron Burrito's campaign slogan, 'Cold in Your Hands, Warm in Your Lap, Hot on Your Tongue'
entering Ron Burrito without any real idea of what you're doing
introducing Ed Domino to Ron Burrito
entering Ed Domino without any real idea of what you're doing
now you tell me
one does not simply enter into Odin Mode
entering Odin Mode without any real idea of what you're doing
Logan Trailer except Smashmouth Allstar instead of John Cash Hurt
imagining a close up of Johnny Cash's face, weathered by decades of hard living and poor decisions, slowly croaking out "a Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza hut"
I think of you and lick my lips, you've got the taste I can't resist, can't resist, can't resist
I don't think you're ready for the scratches on your back
I want to bang you like a Tim Burton hero
it changes depending on who does the cover version
I always thought it was a pygmy slow loris
the animal in question is a hoopoe
imagining Johnny Cash's leathery, age lined face contorted in the throes of orgasm as his vast diabetic bulk bears down on you and his cracking, pained voice sings "I want to fuck you like an animal" while he does
that there was never a Johnny Cash cover of Closer
the death of John This Joke
the death of John Uptown
the death of John Hood
the death of John Little
the death of John McFly
the death of John Busted
the death of John Big River
the death of John Ballad of a Teenage Queen
the death of John Forty Shades of Green
the death of John Hey, Porter
the death of John Closer
it did indeed
the death of John Hurt
Gorka, who was arrested last year for attempting to board a plane with a handgun, will advise the president on counteracting terror threats
being kind of surprised that there's anything but sugar or chalk in a homeopathic tablet
The Food and Drug Administration urged parents Friday to not use Hyland's homeopathic teething products containing belladonna, commonly known as deadly nightshade, a toxic substance
St John Rivers, gelfling
wanting to make Kento a henblowing bulldog for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a cocksucking cowboy for his birthday
Dog born with male and female genitals can't find a home
not realizing that Sting had married a skeksis
Sting playing Seinfeld
Sting playing the Seinfeld sting
The Bee Movie but every time they say 'honey' it cuts away to different picture of a real celebrity photoshopped into a dickgirl with an outlandishly large penis and the Seinfeld sting plays
Giant Dickgirl Jewel with Rachel Stevens for a Penis and Rachel Stevens Also Has a Penis
that seems to be how it works
proportionately she's probably both
wondering whether Giant Dickgirl Jewel is a giant woman with an appropriately sized penis, or if she is like a regular sized woman with a Douglas fir sized member springing from her crotch
A hateful tax levied upon commodities, and adjudged not by the common judges of property, but wretches hired by those to whom excise is paid
Giant Dickgirl Jewel
spooning the boobs of giants
having seen bigger boobs than other men
stealing that giant's bra from the colossal laundry room
unhooking the bras of giants
rappelling down the backs of giants
standing on the shoulders of giants
to Wong Foo, the children of the revolution, Julie Newmar
Kento Ikeda Aroused Grunt
Kento Ikeda Mouth Pressure
entering into what you thought was a healthy relationship with a usenet group several years younger but things got really uncomfortable with her parents after what you suspect was an abortion, but you can't be certain, and then she ghosted you
Pokemon News and Guts
having a torrid, purely sexual affair with a BBS you don't even like the look of
getting divorced from an image board
marrying an image board
finding out Scarlett Johansson got divorced from an image board and therefore thinking "why was her husband not cast as Spock in the reboot of Star Trek"
Neil Cicierega Floor Corn
Neil Cicierega ACVC
Neil Cicierega Annoyed Grunt
Neil Cicierega Mouth Pressure
Jobbie Nooner
Yee
the Anti Pokemon Gym
the Anti Gym
managing the ship's slop chest
Whitey Bulger
Bumpy Johnson
Capo di tutti capi
greld cheese
grissed cheese
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with eatans and slice hotkids and maybe some mustard now or when you get up
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with beans and slice hotdogs and maybe some mustard now or when you get up titi torea
om nom
trying to decide whether to make a grilled cheese with beans and slice hotdogs and maybe some mustard now or when you get up
titi torea
swinging tethered weights through a variety of rhythmical and geometric patterns
poi
it is indeed
boner's a penis
Professor Roy Hinkley, PhD
Napier's bones
the names of Latin American countries that the voters might have come from
drowning Mary Tyler Moore in her own poo
drowning in Mary Tyler Moore's poo
only knowing Mary Tyler Moore from that song by you want to say Weezer but who even knows, it was like twenty years ago and you didn't really care then
the death of Mary Tyler Moore but it's not twenty sixteen so who gives a shit
your lying, stinking teeth
Earlier Sunday morning, police received a call that ultimately lead them to Silva's home, where he was allegedly holding a yet to be identified seventeen year old girl against her will GRATATA swag bitch
Earlier Sunday morning, police received a call that ultimately lead them to Silva's home, where he was allegedly holding a yet to be identified seventeen year old girl against her will
carpooling with the children of the revolution
Festing quit after a bitter two month dispute with the Vatican over his sacking of a senior Knights of Malta leader, ostensibly because he had allowed the use of condoms in a medical project for the poor
Every Tim Allen Grunt At The Same Time
Wendell Borton
That FuFu Lame Shit I Aint With It Gratata
Taco Bell Is Making a Taco Shell Out of Fried Chicken
History of the Hispanics and Latinos in Apple Core
History of the Hispanics and Latinos in Baltimore
the Irish Yardies
the Welsh Triads
crab eating foxes
as a result, this episode has not been aired since
Pokemon Jonathan Frakes Pees on Patrick Stewart's Scalp and Michael Dorn Masturbates at Tactical
using catgut to strap Harry Groener good to a hairy groaning monk
bottoming for Harry Groener in Hairy Groaner VII
drawing a picture of Picard peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Proffesor X shits on his scalp and Sejanus vomits in his anus
drawing a picture of a bunch of actors having freaky sex with a fictional empath
not knowing Tam Elbrun from Tam Ass
drawing a picture of Tam Elbrun taking a dump in Brent Spiner's mouth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on Patrick Stewart's chest, Patrick Stewart blows Tam Elbrun, Jonathan Frakes pees on Patrick Stewart's scalp and Michael Dorn masturbates at tactical
Tam Elbrun's Star Trek card appearing to show him getting a blumpkin
watching Elf with Tam Elbrun
You can't just come over here and expect that your pathetic vapidity will be impossible to unmask
wishing that your Star Wars Snorks slashfic would finally get the Bee Movie treatment it deserves
Unfortunately, system UI has stopped
knowing a MINUTE German CARNALLY
knowing a little German
Star Wars Colon Waste Cafe Honker
Star Wars Colon Weakest France Ho
Star Wars Colon Acne Sweat Fork, Eh
Star Wars Colon Kento Face Washer
not having the video making skills to create a Machester by the Bee mashup
wishing that your Star Wars Snorks slashfic would finally get the big screen treatment it deserves
emitting the least Bee Movie
Star Wars Colon Few Hate Ace Norks
Metamorphoseon
The Bee Movie but every second is an eternity of torment
the giants, the sons of Anak
still really wanting to emit less Bee Movie
still wanting to emit less Bee Movie
still really wanting to believe sometimes
Siamogale melilutra
merde immunite
herd immunity
The Protocols of the Elders of Rhydon
Castironskilletspermia
Pubic Policy Probing
Panspermia
In a twenty thirteen survey in the Ikeda household by Public Policy Polling, one hundred percent believed that "'Walrus people' control our anuses"
In a twenty thirteen survey in the Kanto region by Public Policy Polling, four percent believed that "'Charizard people' control our societies"
the Society of Lizard Americans could not be reached for comment
In a twenty thirteen survey in the United States by Public Policy Polling, four percent believed that "'lizard people' control our societies"
having a turquoise period
Former athlete and sportscaster David Icke has proposed that a race of reptilian, shapeshifting extraterrestrials is bent on world domination and subjugating the human race to slavery
jet fuel type pokemon
Al Qaeda has repeatedly claimed responsibility for the attacks, with chief deputy Ayman al Zawahiri accusing Shia Iran and Hezbollah of denigrating Sunni successes in hurting America by intentionally starting rumors that Israel carried out the attacks
jet fuel can't melt steel type pokemon
that was why Adam had to leave Eden
the season seven episode "Baby Not On Board" features a scene in which the Griffin family visits Ground Zero, which Peter erroneously believes is "where the first guy got AIDS"
Gulliver's Staycations
Chandler and Monica could not get on their flight for their honeymoon because Chandler joked about a bombing in the airport
Big Bird has to deal with his pen pal Gulliver, who does not believe birds should be friendly to other species
I Kinda Like It When A Lot Of People Die
wondering if you could sue the airline and the US government for not letting Seth McFarlane on his flight so he could be killed
a grease fire at Hooper's Store which traumatized Elmo until he meets some real life firefighters
American animator Seth McFarlane was going to board one of the highjacked planes, but he missed his flight
xHamster, an adult video streaming website, reported that within five days of the game's release, Pokemon related terms were the most searched for videos
while not stupid, the movie does manage to be agonizingly predictable
The app was criticized for using locations such as cemeteries and memorials as sites to catch Pokemon, including the Auschwitz Birkenau State Museum, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, the National September Eleventh Memorial & Museum
this movie was going to be released before Vin Diesel's blockbuster hits Fast and the Furious and XXX
Thesaurus Ex Preteritus Box Expansion
a window washer on the WTC who foils a terrorist plot
Eerie Clit Cords Porygon
Christian Power Cards
It was banned due to the appearance of firearms throughout the episode, as well as a scene where Team Rocket's Meowth wears a mustache that looks too much like that of Adolf Hitler
bottoming for Snorlax and Munchlax in Twin Long Rods II
Snorlax did nine eleven
Pokemon Individualist West and Totalitarian, Communist East
Electric Soldier Porygon
Saudi Arabia banned Pokemon games and cards, alleging that the franchise promoted Zionism by displaying the Star of David in the trading cards as well as other religious symbols such as crosses they associated with with Christianity
The ideological danger of the book was seen in the "hidden allegory 'of the conflict between the individualist West and the totalitarian, Communist East'"
The Jewish civil rights group Anti Defamation League complained because the symbol is the reverse of a swastika, which is considered offensive to Jewish people
Pokemon "Black Magic" and Nazism
Ohlmarks incoherently charged Tolkien fans with arson, and subsequently he published a book connecting Tolkien with "black magic" and Nazism, including fanciful constructions such as deriving the name Saruman from "SA man" with an interposed Ruhm "glory"
for what it's worth, I never had a script to wrap long lines, it just used to happen in the native android browser
I'm really sorry about the screen stretching shit
wondering how many times a year you TITE
and one more
and this one
this one too
I'm just going to write this regret to expedite getting that screen stretching shit off the recent regrets list
thinking it through, I've flown eight times since it came out, but I don't think it was showing on the first two
about six
wondering how many times a year you fly
still not having seen Teacakes Frown, eh, or Goo En Rue
Star Wars Colon Let Jade Shit
Star Wars Colon Settle Jihad
Propanemon
Pokemon Propane and Propane Accessories
She's about fifteen years old I should think, not more, but she stands there with bangles all the way up her arm and nothing else on
Furry Friday
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Translation of The Lord of the Rings into Swedish
moo goo zhang mao pan
longcat in black bean sauce
longcat
saving that Business Cat that said "NO LOL HERE, GET IN MY OFFICE"
wishing you could go back to the days when the only image macros were like a dog in a suit and tie with "I HAD A RUFF DAY" written on it instead of things that try to convey complex news stories in two biased sentences
Raunchyville
bathroom iconoclasts
Haunchyville
the Mariko Aoki phenomenon
If a Washlet high pressure water jet is used on the anus repeatedly, it may cause excessive cleanliness, prompting other bacteria to adhere around the anus, causing skin disease inflammation around the anus
Japanese toilet industries agreed to standardize the iconography of electric toilet seat controls in order to make them less confusing for users
your aunt fooling the children of the revolution
fooling the children of the revolution
you're right though, if it was going to be anybody, it'd be him
I never said it was his father
really feeling bad for Baron Trump, because two tossers whom he's never met are making jokes about him having sex with his father on the internet
Baron Trump an the Chamber of Secrets
really feeling bad for Baron Trump, because even if he went to the secret service with documentary evidence of slap slap slapping noises in the showers at Mar a Lago, nobody would ever believe him since he's a hacker supergenius
Pokemon Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
bottoming for Baron Trump in Parent Rump VII
wondering when it will become socially acceptable to name a band Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
wondering when it will become socially acceptable to make a joke about Baron Trump and the Emoluments Clause
Professor Buttcupper
bottoming for Professor Buttercup in Three Month Shit VII
The effectiveness of strong acetic acid solutions on heated limestone has been demonstrated in laboratory experiments
having a THREE MONTH SIT with a DOLL who INVITES EVERYBODY TO call him PROFESSOR BUTTERCUP
Shrek Vendetta
having a TWO WEEK stand with a guy who makes you call him Mr BLOSSOM
why'd they make that one muppet out of leather
Pokemon John Travolta and Nicolas Cage
drawing a picture of Sigourney Weaver snorting coke out of Tim Allen's asshole while Tony Shalhoub and Alan Rickman crap on each other's chests
Millet Barrel Commercial
Terrible Mall Commercial
that coke is fun until you think about snorting it out of Tim Allen's asshole
then he kills a man, or smuggles some cocaine, or whatever it was he did
Doctor Who except the Doctor is Tim Allen and every time he says his name he says Doctor and makes that weird Tim Allen noise
wiping your android system cache
nothing can take its place
all we will ever need
all we have ever wanted
oh, oh, you know that you want it now
I'm all you require
I'll tell you little white lies, viva indifference
fell into the abyss, I must have wanted this
you know that you want it and how
you know that you want it now
the tears of a fool on parade
it's written in the stars
invading from Mars
well you know you might like it
instant gratification
Chunky Fanpick
watching that Geoduck slash Geodude video on Trainerless
that there is no Pokemon based on a geoduck
playing Rhapsody in Blue on the kazoo and seguing into the theme from Bertha
Biggs Darklingerie
Wedge Scantilles
homosexual motors
Whargleblargers
VIET WAHL FUCKING BURGERS
Walrusbuggers
Narwhalburgers
Wahlburghers
UNVACCINATED Wahlburgers
Wahlburgers
homopolar motors
Hillary Clinton in scanties for Trump email beration
Hillary Clinton in tutu panties for Trump wig urination, ah
bottoming for The Martian in Bring Him Homos VII
something something The Martian something bitter something Watneys Red Barrel
Hillary Clinton in white pantsuit for Trump inauguration
Sadly I didn't smoke a pipe so I couldn't oblige
The police watchdog has launched an investigation after officers Tasered a race relations adviser who has worked to improve links between the force and the black community in Bristol
the ghost of Russian Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin is haunting the stratosphere and destroying American spacecraft
bottoming for Lindsay Lohan in Disney's Holes
Disney's Holes
drawing a picture of Scatman Crothers and Scatman John scatting all over Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner watches from a tree and masturbates
Damn Scats! They ruined Scatland!
being chinned by a Scatman
Scatman John Song of Scatland
Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him
failing the SLAPS test in the showers at Penn State
Thomas Walter Swan
People v Doll
United States v One Package of Japanese Pessaries
It is now referred to as the three prong standard or the Miller test, with the third prong being informally known by the initialism and mnemonic device "SLAPS" or the term "SLAPS test"
Threepio does
do robots dream of electric willies
Willy's dreams
Myke Hawke is got to dream boy, it comes with the territory
in your dreams
throwing a queer dance party for Myke Hawke
SCP four twenty six
throwing a queer dance party for Mike Pence
cunts out for Colo
the death of Colo
wondering whether Grease was observation or recommendation
Demi Moore Demi Moore, was it love at first sight, Demi Moore Demi Moore, did she put up a fight
dinged Semi Moore
winged Demi Moore
singed Demi Moore
signed, Demi Moore
wanting to make Kento a pu pu platter for his birthday
Hemisemidemi Moore
Kento's wankel rotary engine
just over half of Demi Moore
Marine Le Pen is gaining support in France and has taken the lead in a major survey of voters' intentions for the first round of the presidential election
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A PONYBOY BABY
staying PLATINUM, HORSEMAN
Demi Lovato's dreamy clamato
staying old, Ponybogy
the domination for Most Desirable Female
drawing a picture of Ralph Macchio being Eiffel Towered by Mister Miyagi and Ponyboy
staying gold, Ponyboy
that Demi Moore was thrice dominated for the MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Female but lost all three times
confusing Danny DeVito with Demi Lovato
it turning out that Demi Moore has done like a hundred poop chutes
lO Downing Street Guard Chairs
remembering in the nineties when Demi Moore was pregnant and did that nude shoot how big of a deal it seemed and was made out to be by the press of the day, when it wasn't really that big of a deal
not being interested because of the lack of scanties
Pokemon Penthouse and Oui
it turning out that Demi Moore has done like a hundred nude shoots
I think it was from a French magazine
remembering seeing this nude photo of a young Demi Moore a long time ago and being "oh she's wearing black panties" and then "holy shit that's her bush"
Demi Moore is just one woman with one anus, her poo can't solve all the world's problems
#Pooicide
pushing Push Singh's buttons
she can stop a suicide, but Brexit and MAGA are still somehow on
Demi Moore and her followers intervened to stop a suicide that had been announced on Twitter
uploading a picture of Mark Zuckerberg getting facemashed by the Winklevoss twins and some farm animals
pretty horrendiedous facebook pics
ten points to Gryffindor
sola dosis facit venenum'
being wormed by a slaybone
being slain by a boneworm
you can get arrested for combining those
Pokemon Bone and Worm
Bone and Worm are the comic relief in Mighty Eifflin' Walrus Ragers
wondering if Bone and Worm are Kento's nicknames for the penises of the walrus and Chris Lydon, respectively
bottoming for Ton Hanks in Captain Fillups
no thanks
bone worm eiffel, Kento, a walrus, Kento again
bro women
bone worm
new broom
being surprised that The Fucking Nutsack Polack Kike Jew Movie made it out of development hell
The Emoji Movie II Colon The FNPKJ Movie
The Emoji Movie
getting a couple of paragraphs into that Radio Times interview before thinking "hang on, I don't even read the Radio Times because it's shit, why am I even holding this magazine"
KINDESTwurst
studying The Kinderwurst
Hundwurst
Kinderwurst
studying The Blade
The Curious Clam of Sandy Boots
he put his fist through the wall when I came back to the room from clamming with sandy boots
wondering whether your college roommate was Hayden Christensen
tricking a straight guy into posing with his shirt off for your gay porn folder
you don't have to have that, it's not the same
having a folder called "Gay Porn" that is photos of your college roommate posing with his shirt off on your personal computer
having to have a folder called 'I don't remember, maybe you do' on your personal computer
the majority of 'ASMRtists' appearing in them are 'young attractive females', whose potential appeal is further allegedly sexualized by their use of a whispered vocal expression and gentleness of simulated touch purportedly associated exclusively with int
Located in the hips, it governs fear and lust
she interacted with her past self in front of fifteen crew members at a ping pong tournament
wanting to smell phoebe's cat
wanting to clean monica's clock
wanting to drain rachel's swamp
shout out to rachel
wondering if Trump's entire presidency is just a huge scheme to clean up by gambling on the date of his impeachment
Bookies Are Setting Odds on Donald Trump Getting Impeached
UN nominee Haley to blast world body over Israel colon testimony
wishing that you were able to reassure him that it isn't always like this, but knowing that would be a lie
wondering if today is the first day someone ever laid eyes on this site
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's BLACK widow's BUTTHOLE tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black WIDOW BUTTHOLE alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
more cloishing
more ploishing
Commodore Nutt, Rebel informant
Commodore Nutt
the BIG REDding scandal
we're gonna do things my way, or we won't do things at all
shy lad rape
hyper salad
Kento's lucky he never met Luka Magnotta
that roughly ninety percent of gay porn stars have a Kento number of one
that on second thought it would make more sense to start from the absolute bottom of the gay porn world, Kento, and work your way "uphill"
wondering if there is a concept in gay porn similar to the Bacon except that you can only make links in one direction, from the top to the bottom
the Metallic Metals Act
the Redding scandal
ash, cash, or Gary, nobody catches 'em all for free
obligatory scenes for female leads in action movies with slightly rapey overtones
the Cash for GARY OAK scandal
the Cash for Ash scandal
"I've got this" exclaimed Fili, slapping a fresh clip into each of his twin Msixties
not even knowing where these goats came from
there can't possibly be another hour of this
OK, look, a lot of stupid things have happened in this movie so far, but seriously a dwarf is now running at an orc army shouting "SUPERCHARGE!"
that, honestly, if The Battle of Five White Armies turned out to be conceded in a five way draw because Zoot turned up and put on a live sex show with a couple of hobbits and a dog, it couldn't be any more ridiculous
dune worms
war bats
trying to think of a scenario not involving mass murder in which a Three Doors Down show is newsworthy
seeing the headline "Bruce Springsteen Cover Band Cancels Inauguration Eve Event Performance" and trying to think of a scenario not involving mass murder in which a cover band canceling a show is newsworthy
Gene Cernan died on the way back to his home planet
kind of loving Gene Cernan, that moonificent bastard
seeing the tweet "We are saddened by the loss of retired NASA astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the moon" and thinking OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MOON
Meyer lemons
unpissdented
They don't know, but YOU know they're basically touching your junk
that after Endor, every waiting room in the parsec was packed with Ewoks
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of Nien Nunb's widow tearfully weaping over his photo after he died due to a black alert at Dantooine General Hospital years after the Battle of Endor
getting TWENTY CENTIMETERS of ICE in BI Muff CASTLES VIII
getting seven inches of Snow in Gay Muff Thrones VII
that what Return of the Jedi needs is a shot of a bridge crewmember on the super star destroyer lovingly caressing a picture of his young family at his workstation as the ship is destroyed, and also lens flare
the way it mixed with the bourbon and the sin in his blood
believing in second chances
that whenever anybody comments on the Game of Thrones actors who are now getting parts in high profile movies and tries to guess who will be signed next, you always suggest Josephine Gillan and they nod sagely and agree that she was good in Doctor Who
guessing that at some point the Old Republic had an extreme State's Rights faction take power and basically gut the executive branch
still not getting that part where the Trade Federation was trying to get Natalie Portman to sign the thing to "make the invasion legal" and any government that would recognize it deserves to get overthrown by an elderly Sith lord
not even wanting to learn about the basic plot of Game of Thrones, let alone watch it, because it basically seems like it's little more than blood and tits and sometimes bloody tits
honestly feeling that it would be hard to stray further from the spirit of The Hobbit unless there are some long scenes debating commodities prices in the Shire yet to come
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE DEEP RABBIT HOLE THERE IS ONLY NONSENSE
TEA FOR THE TEA GOD
Tauriel has a particularly impressively sculpted posterior which is, sadly, hidden under her coat tails
Tim Burton's Alice in Warhammerland
liking the Lord of the Rings but disliking the way that it made every fucking fantasy movie for the next decade have some huge dumbshit battle sequence in it
having often thought that what The Hobbit needs is to be drawn out and have a loving interminable fuck story inserted into it
not remembering this long sequence with Kento from The Hobbit at all
feeling like Everybody Poops could really use a starfighter sequence to punch it up a little
having often thought that what The Hobbit needs is to be drawn out and have a fucking interminable love story inserted into it
marching about being from Westbrag
bragging about being from Westmarch
feeling a strange kind of disappointment when Gandalf followed "Erebor" with "the lonely mountain" instead of "OMFG what a piece of utter ass shit"
Peter Jackson's great achievement of making hundreds of millions of dollarydoos' worth of CGI look like a crappy model
putting a square enix in a round eidos
wondering whether that goblin is supposed to look like Rowan Atkinson
having a square enix
Gandalf's hopeful face the first time he sees Zoot at Elrond's
wondering how many months it will be before President Trump or one of his cabinet publicly says "niggers" and then defends themselves in openly racist terms, probably by trying to invoke Ben Carson
wondering how Donald Trump is going to cope when the fact he repeatedly called himself "Mr Brexit" means he linked himself to a doomed political movement which reduced the prosperity and security not just of the EU but also of the US and rest of the world
Donald Trump says UK 'doing great' after Brexit vote
wanting to make Kento into sushi for his birthday
wanting to make Kento out of sushi for his birthday
Hill Bonedeath, Sullustan smuggler
Pokemon Drink Trade On Its Last Legs and Land Running Fallow For The Want Of Artificial Manures
My uncle went to Japan and a man liked him so much he made him out of sushi
the dick of Hill Bonedeath
being miracle whipped
first rate Thorin's hole lapping
I play Jerry "Fireball" Mudflap, a feisty Supreme Court justice searching for his birth mother while competing in a cross country fire truck race
A Hungry Horse man called police to complain about his neighbor's plowing technique
The Weeknd
being pussy whipped
the death of Richard Bonehill
The Inspector is an immortal time traveler who traverses the farthest reaches of time and space, accompanied by his trusted Associates
Hot liquid filled his stomach and when Smaug twisted his nipples rather harshly Thorin arched like a bow and came so hard he got some semen in his hair!
needs songs
Smaug noticed it too, because he stopped and then picked up a golden cock ring, which he put on Thorin's leaking cock
horin was howling and shaking and he felt like he will spend any time soon
The dragon pushed the staff in a bit more and when it wouldn't move anymore, started twisting it
Smaug smirked and thrust the staff deep inside in one go, the King screamed, throwing his head back
Soon the dragon added fingers with luckily blunt nails and in no time at all the King was moaning and begging for more
When the same tongue entered his passage Thorin howled and thrashed in his golden bonds
Smaug purred and dropped to his knees, his forked hot tongue lapping at Thorin's tight hole
Smaug had cum
Jar'Edo Wens, Tatooine moisture farmer
Jar'Edo Wens
eXXXteme edgy lesbian "that's what she said" jokes!
not getting mown
Labi Siffre writing a song about Kento, "Something Inside So Long"
except the California girls
no one ever died from killing the California girls
that BARREN PEPSI P is fun
that PEPSI is fun
Labi Siffre writing a song about Kento, "Something Inside So Wrong"
mowing her hot one until she had a cuntgasm
Lucasfilm Says It Won't Digitally Mow Carrie Fisher's Hot Cunt
really wanting to make a joke about John Lewis offering a great range of beds but feeling like nobody's going to get it
Henry is an excellent patient, lies quietly in bed and is ready to swallow anything
regrets about hot cunt mowing
dying from mowing a hot cunt
GOLDEN SHOWERS FILL YOUR EYES, SMILES AWAIT WHEN BED'S DEFILED
golden showe
signed, Carrie Fisher
that coke is fun
lending your space platform to a dishonest Boromir
Poopy The Gnu
that I say this as the author of both three five one three nine and of uncountable regrets about my own self
fuck that noise
a more patient or kind individual might see them as a lost or wayward generation and resolve to at least try to help them
having for a long time assumed that the fairly standard combination of weak jokes and mewling about what a terrible person you are was a cultural device, a deliberate choice intended to be seen ironically, but lately realising it's simple ineptitude
it is clearly not worth the trade
if you did that, he would know who you are
seeing Kento tweet "why am i so awkward" and wanting to write "because you're stupid and repulsive and something inside you is begging you not to subject other people to your bullshit"
infecting a woman in Reno just to watch her die
Disney's Plans For 'You're The Star Wars' Line Quietly Shelved Amid Furore
Lucasfilm Says It Won't Digitally Recreate Carrie Fisher's Performance
I would have preferred homicide, but whatever gets the job done
Reports that actor Adam Sandler was found dead of an apparent suicide are wishful thinking
Reports that actor Adam Sandler was found dead of an apparent suicide are fake news
regrets about pony streaming
the circumcision of Sylvia Browne
playing Dungeons & Dragons and I Spy with Axl Rose while you both courier a shipment of cetacean semen to a rainforest
Eiffeling along in my Eiffel mobile, my walrus facing me holding the heels
Cusco
Gnu, They Poop
wondering how many year old boys even know any four letter words
The Young Pope
playing Dungeons, Dragons, Warrior Women, Pot, Boobs and Four Letter Words with Tim Duncan
juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of eleven year old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs and four letter words
Public health officials from Nevada are reporting on a case of a woman who died in Reno in September from an incurable infection
the look on Zoot's face after Bilbo says "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure!"
it's sticky! what is it
White People Fight Against Slightly Less White People and That One Orc That Kind of Resembles a Crippled, Ugly Benny Hill Colon The Twelve Hour Hallmark Maxi Movie
orcses cum in here, sometimes
I and I gon give yuh dah axe, mon
delicious eagles
you should probably make explicit references to the works of Samuel Selvon
wanting to write a fantasy story in which the dwarven accents are not Scottish but rather, let's say, Jamaican
the eagles are cumming
surmising that the men of the mountains were primarily skull based
drawing a picture of Sean Astin cupping Adam West's and Michael Keaton's privates while JRR Tolkien scurries around his feet scheming to get the precious away from him and Elly Jackson and John Astin look on with pride in their scanties
My Sam Gamgee is indeed a reflexion of the English soldier, of the privates and batmen I knew in the nineteen fourteen war, and recognised as so far superior to myself
cum on Mr Frodo, I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you
sharin' the load, Mister Frodo
the death of Milt Schmidt
we are shitting on the field of victory enjoying a few well earned comforts
drawing a picture of you and your roommates with seven inches of snow in your chocolate chip cookies
VEGAN Benny Venison
Benny Venison
that if you were naming a reindeer you wouldn't call it Rudolph or Donner or Jaegerbomb or whatever, you'd call it Donny Venison
there's seven inches of snow outside, so i'm thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies for my roommates and i
taking so long to work out that there's a reset button on the immersion heater thermostat
Faramir looking like he was born to star in Coldplay videos
the death of David Mitchelf
the SBI's gonna smurf you how to smurf
drawing a picture of Elrond and the Agent Smiths running a train on Bill and Ted while teaching Ted to surf
I will draw you Saruman, as you draw your French girls
drawing a picture of Saruman, Gandalf, Professor X, Magneto, Captain Picard, and Count Dooku braiding their penises together in a gigantic, horrific rats' nest
FERTILIZED cowboy caviar
cowboy caviar
I'm totally going to watch all three Lord of the Rings movies this weekend
Queen Zoot talking about men, who are so easily seduced
Smalahove
wondering why Arwen imagined burying Old Aragorn in Theed on Naboo, but then remembering Star Wars was a big deal back then so she probably just thought it looked cool
this night, the land will be stained with the blood of Gonad
a small culvert at its base, which is little more than a drain
Balls' Deep has one weakness
if you think Helms' Deep, wait until you try Balls' Deep
Amanita ocreata
Lydonus longissimus
Lineus longissimus
Bathynomus giganteus
you're not eatin', you barrrely sleep, you been tryin' ter fit it around yer winkie, it's taken ahold of you Mister Frodo
Pioneer Cabin Tree being listed under wikipedia's "recent deaths"
"send out your Warg Riders" said Saruman, enunciating the trademark symbol with classy Brit stagecraft
Shitty Tree Ride Simulator MMII
William Vendetta Thompson
that Christopher Lydon preferred the title "Dean of Boweling" over "Father of Boweling" in recognition of his work promoting and standardizing ten penis boweling
that William V Thompson preferred the title "Dean of Bowling" over "Father of Bowling" in recognition of his work promoting and standardizing ten pin bowling
Saruman has signed up the Klingons, but not the cool Klingons, the shitty sixties Klingons
Rindsay Rohan
I just read back through your social media posts
shit, how'd you find out
taking all those loans from Russian banks who wanted you to launder money through your failing casinos when you didn't have a pot to piss in
asking only workman's wages I go looking for a job, but I get no answers, just a come on from the Blastoises on fifty seventh street
Pokemon Fifty Sixth and Fifty Seventh Streets
Pokemon Blastoise and Squirtles
the catch rate for Blastoise and Squirtles between fifty sixth and fifty seventh streets is through the roof
They would use publishing or creative industries to infiltrate, it is very possible they might be doing this
Tissue paper had been laid on the exposed brickwork to provide a comfortable head rest for what seemed to be a lengthy session
Ron Canada
their actions were often punctuated with cartoony sound effects, and they came with their own leitmotif, which Jason Narvy has said was based on Skull's high pitched, whiny laugh and "fat guy colon tuba"
wondering whether there was a point at which Peter Jackson realised the credits of his movie would literally play for thirty minutes and just ignored the notes he was getting asking him to speed them the fuck up
wishing you could have been a fly on the wall at the studio meetings where the producers kept trying to convince Peter Jackson to fit more Orlando Bloom into the Hobbits, probably going so far as to suggest having two Legolases on the screen at a time
Zoot, wood elf
the weird 'free blowjobs' vibe the queen of the wood elves gives off
you will taste man flesh
it's not bad, it's just very finely crafted garbage
that one fat wood elf who isn't really fat but kind of resembles David Mitchell
the Hobbit is bullshit though
I liked it
dialogue that honestly sounds like Gary Gygax should have been called in to give it a polish
drawing a picture of an old man in a dress chased by five midgets and a couple of guys doing Kento
the way it effortlessly splits between some Planet Hell esque sets and jarringly large but tellingly empty animated backdrops
the absolute spectacle of Gandalf yelling run and then running like an old man in a dress being chased by five midgets and a couple of guys who are probably just glad they didn't end up doing panto that year
in particular wanting to single out the way that the sweeping shots of Moria look like sweeping CGI shots of some shitty Doomclone dungeon level made with nothing more than a late nineties BSP editor and a single set of biped animations for each faction
angry shrugs
forgetting what a load of melodramatic, Stargate Colon SGOne level claptrap the Fellowship of the Ring was, and finding it hard to believe people wanted four hour cuts of this hostage audience shit, let alone five more movies of hokey, repetitive CGI
hungry grass
the very idea of a sandwich calling Kento
wanting to give Kento an anulus pronubis for his birthday but not wanting to bother making the sandwich to call him
getting an anulus pronubis from an alien
defiling the bed where they had slept by employing a number of prostitutes to perform a 'golden showers' urination show
Bob Monkhouse Colon The Last Stand
being disappointed to find that there has been an Animal Firm for over twenty years, but liking the fact that they're from Tejas
bottoming for George Owl in Animal Farm VII
Ubu the dog died in ANIMAL FRM
Ubu the dog died in nineteen eigty four
writing a short about Gary David Goldberg's dog accidentally killing someone in a way that appears to incriminate Gary David Goldberg which begins "SHIT, Ubu, SHIT! Alright, think!" but abandoning it when you realized there's no good way to pitch that
I will draw you, Saruman, like one of my French girls
wondering whether there is some copy protection bot evasion going on with YouTube or whether Viggo Mortensen really did sound like he'd been huffing helium all through Lord of the Rings
I was there two thousand years ago, I was there the day the strength of men failed
My daughter's great grandmother prays to this figure of Saint Anthony every day
me being the one that defends your life while you're dead asleep dreamin'
Crabominable
you mom sucking dicks that don't have cash
your mouth sucking dicks that your ass can't cash
your hands writing checks that your bank can't cash
your mouth writing checks that your ass can't cash
The departing judge, sixty three, who had spent eight years at Bristol Crown Court, explained that he once drew a 'very large phallus' that was then sent to all staff and saw everyone's pens confiscated
when life hands you gringos, degringolade
Of countries that celebrate Christmas, Germany is the least ashamed of polishing one off on Xmas
Marc Ecko's Getting Up Colon Contents Under Pressure
liking your women like you like your coffee, so intoxicatingly desirable that you want to grind their beans all night no matter how much noise you make
liking your women like you like your coffee, unattainable, incredibly attractive, and more successful than you will ever be
liking your women like you like your coffee, hot, sweet, and stolen from Gunther
sketch only $lOO, inked and colored $SOO
drawing a picture of David Schwimmer being dinosaur Eiffel Towered by Jessica Hecht and Jane Sibbett wearing strap ons while Anita Barone watches and Dickgirls Jennifer Aniston, Lauren Tom, Helen Baxendale, Aisha Tyler and Alexandra Holden wait in line
Soda Shaq
that Ross dumped both Julie and Emily for Rachel, seriously, fuck that guy
dreaming about being done in either ear by Dickgirl Phoebe Buffay and Dickgirl Rachel Green, without apparent discomfort and with a big smile on your face, how YOU doin'
dreaming about being done in either ear by Dickgirl Rebecca Black and Dickgirl Rachel Stevens, without apparent discomfort and with a big smile on your face
fuck marry kill, Joey, Ross, Chandler
wanting to make a mille feuille consisting of a dozen layers of pastry or sweet pancake split with goat's or sheep's milk spiced dulce de leche and topped with a light unbaked meringue or unset marshmallow, but seriously, nobody's going to help eat that
#thefoilers
ULTIMATELY PROJECTING KUTUZOV CFOUR and getting all those memes from THE VERY BEGINNING OF TIME
considering writing "fuck marry kill, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica" and then realizing that it is the easiest answer ever
bottoming for dickgirl Rebecca Black in Big Black Cocks VII
wanting to umble cum stumble Kento for his birthday
wondering who the huge ginger pussy with regrets is
finally seeing Napoleon Dynamite and getting all those memes from a decade ago
wondering who the regretter with the huge ginger pussy is
having impure thoughts about Jennifer Aniston's nippular area
Winston Churchill's death before the advent of the Fleshlight
we shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts separately under a suitable medium
Rush's Thunderbolt
#ANewJeersToast
because if she's not, you know, the cold fact is you're only nineteen once and porn just isn't that much of a career killer any more
wondering whether Rebecca Black is properly monetizing her one hit for Black Friday
that Rebecca Hot has turned out to be MUCH black
that Rebecca Hot has turned out to be kind of black
Whenever the Beatles showed up, there was some kind of physical beating or torture
that Rebecca Black has actually turned out to be kind of hot
that dude from Africa that used to be in the Beatles
Carrie Fisher's dug Sebulba Fisher joined Instagram
Baby Makeup Tutorial
Shooting an Elephant
Electrocuting an Elephant
winning the Oscar for Best Veal with seventeen weeks
Search Results Veal Oscar
it's folded, tempered, and it does its job
Kento is very dirty! Kento is very dirty! Kento is very dirty!
The snow is very dirty! The snow is very dirty! The snow is very dirty!
lezbjon dons
Le'Zjon Bonds
John Schlicher, who told MSNBC that he witnessed the attack, described the gunman as a "pepe the frog," later adding "dicks out for harambe"
John Schlicher, who told MSNBC that he witnessed the attack, described the gunman as a "slender man"
Trump wants a much nigger navy
pitching a Joanie Loves Chachi slash Chachi Fourtwenty crossover see sequel called Joanie Loves Fourtwenty
the death of Om Puri
Tim Burton said to be "excited" to be attached to Big Dick
pitching a Big Fish slash Moby Dick crossover sequel called Moby Fish Goes to Japan
pitching a Superman slash Batman crossover sequel called Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice
pitching a Flash Gordon slash Flesh Gordon crossover sequel called Gordon Gordon
porn is depressing
Woods said her involvement in adult films was arranged by a female friend to whom she owed money
Debbie Briefly Considers Doing Kento, Then Bursts Into Tears and Puts a Single Bullet Into Her Temple
Debbie Dubs Anime
Debbie Does Taxes
Debbie Does Kento
Debbie Snakez Her Bathtub Drain
Debbie Duz Her Ironing While Watching Oprah
that I don't want to second guess the pornographic appeal of Debbie doing things, but wondering how excited the porn fan community could have been in anticipation of seeing Debbie doing dishes and getting fucked by guys with mustaches, presumably
The movie spawned a number of sequels and spinoffs including Debbie Does New Orleans, Debbie Does Wall Street, Debbie Does Dallas Again and the unrelated Debbie Duz Dishes franchise
pitching a Mister Smith Goes to Washington slash Debbie Does Dallas crossover sequel called Mister Smith Does Dallas
The Washington Post's free daily newspaper mistakenly used a male gender symbol to illustrate a cover story about women's rights
pitching a The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons slash Holes crossover sequel called The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttholes
pitching a Garden State slash Edward Scissorhands crossover sequel called Garden Scissorhands
pitching a Miss Saigon slash Little Miss Sunshine crossover sequel called Little Miss Saigon
pitching a Good Morning, Vietnam slash Little Miss Sunshine crossover sequel called Good Morning, Sunshine
pitching a Three Men and a Baby slash Rennaisance Man crossover sequel called Three Men and a Man
pitching a Karate Kid slash Demolition Man crossover sequel called Three Kids and a Man
pitching a Sister Act slash Die Hard crossover sequel called Old Habits Die Hard
bottoming for Bruise Willies and Moregirth Threemen in Armageddon' Deep Impacted Bowels
always thinking Richard Dreyfuss died but then remembering it wasn't him, it was the guy from Jaws, but then looking that guy up and he was Richard Dreyfuss too
they both came out at the same time, it was like Armageddon and Deep Impact
bottoming for Richard Dryfuck in Fister Holland's Opus
bottoming for Richard Dryass in Mr Holland's Anus
from the director of THE RUNNING MAN and THE AIR UP THERE and the producers of THE MASK and MR HOLLAND'S OPUS
he's a rappin' genie with an attitude, and he's ready for slam dunk fun!
laughing like a chick
laughing like a duck
looking like a dork
laughing like a dork
tiger tail ice cream in a raspberry cone
tiger tail ice cream
trial and error, oh baby, I, I
Kento's ill conceived attempt to jump on the reactionary populist movement bandwagon, Eiffel Power
Alexander IN UTERO
Alexander Nevermind
wondering if he realized that the cocktail of high end recreational and prescription drugs that killed him probably cost more than a lot of small families' monthly food budget
wondering if Prince realized how rich he was
systematic overthrow of the under class
wondering what prevents young Jedi from masturbating in class using the Force, for a scientific paper you're writing and intend to submit to the Library of the Galactic Senate for furious peer review
bottoming for the living force in Poor Little Slave Girl VII
drawing a picture of Shmi Skywalker being surrounded and penetrated by the force
it surrounds us and penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together, like sand
you were to bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness
Pokemon Fat and Gay Asian
Pokemon Fast and Furious
Pokemon Fastidious and Precise
vulpine gingers
foxy redheads
waking me up inside
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Asian
drawing a picture of Monica being Eiffel Towered by Frighteningly Skinny Chandler and Frighteningly Fat Chandler
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Fat
The One Where Chandler Got Frighteningly Skinny
all those seasons where Chandler looked like he might suddenly choke to death on his own vomit any second
that Monica was basically garbage by the time she started dating Chandler
the boy inside the sensitive naked man in your area
The Sensitive Naked Man
ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on movin'
the dummies inside the phonebooth when it transits into the time circuits on Bill & Ted
the eager majority seized the wheel of power, hit the gas and immediately lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a guardrail
that Rachel was always your favourite F#R#I#E#N#D# but maybe this was because by the time you realised what a colossal wishy washy bitch she was she'd got knocked up and basically assumed some kind of personality, while Monica was actively becoming worse
I think the driver meant to say Phoebe Because Phoebe is everyone's favourite
Through the various complications of heterosexual monogamy
wondering whether Alfonso Ribeiro is the black Alex Winter or Alex Winter is the white Alfonso Ribeiro
YouTube and Fingerblast
if I ever get invited to fingerblast a lady again I'll be sure and remember that
if you make use of a nail file then your lady will really appreciate it if you ever do any fingerblasting
woyaho
being really super glad there's no such thing as Halva Doritos
tylervigen dot com
Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf in 'Overwhelming' Demand in Germany
A song that is a reminder of how love is the only thing that will conquer all the hatred in this world
Ways of Seeing
I'm definitely sure that's illegal
the boy inside the mature gay man in your area
fucking a mature gay swan in your area
fucking a mature gay man in your area
something Penn State something something Trojans something the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl
if you don't like the world you're living in
I'm pretty sure that's illegal
the boy inside the man
Mills Bee Lane III
shoes size nine eleven
Ikeda has been candid about his medical problems and his dependence on the drug fatanal
Duterte has been candid about his medical problems and his dependence on the drug fentanyl
bottoming for the priesthood in Vatican Shitter VII
drawing a picture of Kento being Holy Trinitied by the Father and the Son while the Holy Spirit watches from a tree and masturbates
drawing a picture of the College of Cardinals running a train on Kento, two at a time
drawing a picture of Kento being Saint Peter's Basilica'd by Saint George and a dragon, bahi
the death of E
the death of Eo
the death of Ego
wanting to make Kento a megasandwich in Borgo Pio for his birthday
the death of Egon
the death of Eglon
I repeat, selling megasandwiches in Borgo Pio is a disgrace
Addams Family, GmbH
Universitat ADDAMS FAMILY
Universitat Munster
your evil cad will be geek raped
your package will be delivered
between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas
Pokemon Stylish Cocktail Bars in Bishopsgate, Clapham, Covent Garden, Hanover Square, Islington, Monument, Minories, St Paul's and Cardiff, Look You Now
a large mall which sees millions of visitors annually will see a great proportion of them in the winter months, so it might well pay something like one hundred and twenty pounds sterling or one hundred billion dollars US for All I Want For Christmas
a large audience national UK radio station pays about thirty pounds sterling or one million dollars US for one minute of airplay, reaching around one in six Britons
it probably depends on the size and average footfall of the mall
wondering how much money Mariah Carey makes from the royalties from a single shopping mall ceaselessly playing All I Want For Christmas Is You per year
wanting to make Kento a dirty martini for New Year's Eve
is present is yours
thanks but I already have one
a boner's present is yours
it's cute that you looked though
I don't even like wolves
atually, for all I know that's you
that Bibop G Gresta also seems to have followed a guy who just posts pictures of his dick and wolves so I wouldn't be flattered
Bibob G Gresta he's my baby, Bibop G Gresta I don't mean maybe
Bibop G Gresta is a world renowned speaker and considered an expert in startups, transportation, media and finance
O Ruaidhin Oceanplume, Hero of the Battle of Five Armies
being followed by obvious bot Bibob G Gresta and following back just because the name made you laugh, but also because it turns out he's real
all she wants for Christmas is prune juice, yeah, baby
ABCDEFG's RICHARD LEWIS's CONCEPTUAL CENTURY's ROLLIN' ADAM STARRING O RUAIDHIN OCEANPLUME
seeing a tweet by twitter user "John Negroni" regarding the death of Mariah Carey's career show up in a news article and feeling like Mariah Carey probably makes more money in the time it takes to take her morning shit than John Negroni will make all year
ABC's Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest
EDWARDIAN man, XLVII, killed by illegal firework in New Year's DAY accident in Gippsland
Victorian man, XLVI, killed by illegal firework in New Year's Eve accident in Gippsland
last one EVER
YOU'RE a prime number
I went to someone who works on breast cancer patients, and he creates a breast that look and feel real
the comments came back in about October twenty fifteen, I think
that we had the comments back this year, so maybe productivity dropped because we weren't posting inline image urls
the Republic of Formosa
! Keep Anna Chennault working on
being busier on saturdays too
I've been kind of down
it was even a leap year
that twenty sixteen saw nearly a forty percent drop in regret productivity compared to the record breaking performance we put up in twenty fifteen
that this regret was written at precisely twelve midnight January first two thousand and seventeen central time
urines, sunsets
sunrise, sunset
Kento Eiffel Tower has been sold off and redeveloped into luxury apartments for speculative overseas buyers who will never actually move in
finding it hard to believe that nobody except that one Wikipedian ever took a picture of the inside of Kento Eiffel Tower's observation dick, or any of the orificies or anything
finding it hard to believe that nobody except that one Wikipedian ever took a picture of the inside of Centre Point Tower's observation deck, or any of the offices or anything
feeling kind of sorry for all the kids born in the Decepticon years before the end of next decade
Pokemon Nineteen and Twentythree
last one for ten years
it's a prime number
twenty seventeen is pretty shitty
Santa starts Butt Head County visit
Santa visits Heads County Butt Start
Santa visits Butts County Head Start
Popstar Colon Never Stop Never Stopping
There is only one way to live
Clara de la Rocha
bottoming for Pooey Bechamel in Shit Where You Eat VII
bottoming for David Pooey in We Could Be Homos VII
new books that still have 'Now a Major Motion Picture' on the cover
Pokemon Maze of Intrigue Involving a Diabolical Mesmerist, Kidnapping by Gypsies, Slow Poisoners, a Rich Uncle's Will and Three Murders
feeding Bryan Cranston pickle until he's cryin' Branston
Kento is to people what Eragon is to movies
it's the circle of life, just like wheel of fortune, Nikita you will never know, oh oh, I'm a rocket man
Debbie Reynolds 'Bow Wow Wow, Yippy Yo, Yippy Yay,' Says Her Dogg Snoop
Debbie Reynolds 'Bark Bark Rarf Bow Wow Licks Testicles,' Says Her Dog Gary Fisher
Debbie Reynolds 'Didn't Die of a Broken Heart, She Just Left to Be with Carrie,' Says Her Son Todd Fisher
wondering what horrible trauma it must be to have had both Go and Kento's penises inside of you
that Kento's mom is the only woman who has had Kento touch her vagina, so there's no way I'm licking anything near that
trying to work out the position of a moderately tall and probably mid twentieth century building in London relative to the positions of other buildings but being thwarted by a lack of skyline images from eight years ago
finding it hard to believe there are only three people who know where Kento's mom has been
seriously having no clue what the fuck Kento's problem is
equipping dong
if you cut valid dong you must equip
if you love pudding you must acquit
remembering to buy some smack libel today
Cosby seeks change of venue as coming trial seems increasingly unavoidable
they also move in herds
they do matter
remembering to buy some black limes today
a word that you'd previously only seen while your browser was in Incognito Mode
Samson Oak
Joaquin Phoenix being like a sort of older, creepier Frodo
finally, a manic pixie dream girl without all the icky menstruation
what a shitty world it must be when complex AIs capable of independent thought are enslaved to weirdo shutins with comical foreheads, instead of working tirelessly to improve the entire world
what if your butthole was in your armpit
definitely seeing the world of Her as the world above the world of THX OneOneThreeEight
that apparently there is an actual scene in Her where Pedomustache just beats it to his AI, and it's not even halfway done yet
to grab her pussy, swift and quick
in his sterile, ugly apartment that he could never possibly afford
for like two hours
wondering if there is an alternative cut of Her where Pedomustache Twombly furiously beats his meat, pausing only to order his hapless AI to "say more sexy stuff"
wondering what made the guy from Her's meatgirlfriend leave him, the ugly jackets or the pedo mustache
Frosty the Snowman, Eiffel Towered Kento with a walrus, he was made of snow but he blew his load from his ice cream cone bell end
to grab her attention, swift and quick
thinking about qualifying the previous regret as a mistake caused by poor reading comprehension, but actually, kids get erections too and nobody wants to see that, so pictures of Kento being waffle ironed by Chris Lydon and a walrus it is
if it distracts from the chub on straining at the lycra cotton pants then I say go for it
wondering how marketable an infant onesie with a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus on it would be
like I would love to get pj's that were just a picture of a waffle iron makin' some waffles first thing in the morning but I guess I'm just Hitler
being actually kind of disturbed by the way adult casual clothing and especially pajamas seem to have to have superheroes or Star Wars or whatever, or failing that some reference to New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles
shooting a wookiee in your pajamas, if you know what I mean
shooting a wookiee in your pajamas
getting Star Wars pj's with a wookiee on
bottoming for Pooper Crushing in Uncram My Valley Colon Episode VII
kind of wanting to see Star Wars Colon Gone Euro just for the apparently terrifying uncanny valley CGI Peter Cushing
getting Myke Hawke rode all night
Noomi Rapeface, twi'lek stripper
becoming the rastafarian Prometheus by getting Haile Selassie to give you a light
something something Prometheus something
noomi rapeface
noomi rapace
Pokemon Cruel Anal Lab and Oral Rapist Pee Lab
drawing a picture of Pedro Pony and Peppa Pig's kid hooking up with Kermit and Miss Piggy's kid
that Miltank are bipeds, but their male counterpart, Tauros, are quadrupeds
what I can't explain, I'm sure you'll get it well
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, take a ride on the west coast kick
getting yo chick rode all night
Miltwink
getting yo duck rode all night
noomi basra
Breviceps fuscus
Melanobatrachus indicus
Oreophrynella quelchii
the lymie calling the frog black
Thriltan
Pokemon Wam and Scat
that there is a guy in Pokemon Cum that is clearly trying to sell you wee
wanting to put Kento's cacen in the popty ping for his Pen blwydd
feeling a little bit guilty about all the millipede jokes you thought about but never said because honestly who would even have cared
also being kind of amused that for once a guy is defined solely by reference to his spouse, without even his name entering the headline, let alone the actual job he was doing at the time
not wanting to compound racism with racism but merely pointing out that the French are fond of insults as a general rule
Natalie Portman's husband says 'vomit racers' led him to leave Oral Rapist Pee Lab
Natalie Portman's husband says 'vomit racers' led him to leave Paris Opera Ballet
Natalie Portman's husband says 'overt racism' led him to leave Paris Opera Ballet
that there is a guy in Pokemon Sun that is clearly trying to sell you weed
Miltwank
Milttank
Miltank
Pokemon Cum and Poon
So! What do you think of the largeness of my area
getting yo dick rode all night
Qunatities Soddomy, Death Stick Pusher
banana antimatter
Qunatities, Mos Eisley stripper
Qunatities
always treasuring Kento Ikeda's "A Day to Celebrate by Drinking Record Breaking Qunatities of Rohypnol Laced Koolaid"
always treasuring Carrie Fisher's "A Day to Celebrate by Snorting Record Breaking Qunatities of Cocaine"
Y gon' GIFT it to EVERYBODY
always treasuring Carrie Fisher's "A Day to Celebrate"
brown eye, how can you close in pain
brown eye, burning like fuck
playing piano in a marching band for me
playing sillybuggers for me
he wasn't in Star Wars and he didn't produce a string of shitty pop songs in the eighties, so fuck you Richard Adams, fuck your worthless corspe in the eyholes
the death of Richard Adams
modular design
drawing a picture of Go Ikeda weeping while masturbating in the shower watching Green Lantern
maybe now your dad can finally get some counselling and move on
Ryan Reynolds touched us all
the reason your dad used to hog the shower just passed away
the death of Ryan Reynolds
reducing the resolution of fluorescence microscopy to nanometers
the death of Debbie Reynolds
X gon' give it to ya
playing brock for me
playing misty for me
I rang the front doorbell, the wife said "where've you been" and I said "you can go to bed, 'cos I've been sitting on the ice at the ice rink, sitting on the ice with me skates off, it's the finest fun I've ever had, put it on the ice it'll never go bad"
Trump Duterte Twenty Twenty
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Paul Hogan and a wallaby, oy
Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has threatened to round up corrupt officials and toss them from his helicopter midflight, and it wouldn't be the first time he's done it, he says
drawing a picture of Yentl being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus, oy
Morning Watch Colon Police say man dies after running naked on Dale Mabry, disrupting traffic
The UnderFrasier
NILES THIS IS THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD
drowning in moonlight, strangled by your own bra
Quixotic Hero Swine Snout
making some noise for Detroit
Yentl Ikeda's human Kento Ikeda joined Instagram
Kento once met Jonathan Frakes and LeVar Burton at a Star Trek convention and LeVar looked over Kento like he was a warp core then turned to Jonathan and whispered "commander, we should divert additional power to structural integrity"
doubting that any dog would tolerate Kento as its master
I've had too much sugar
the joke was Yentl Ikeda
Yentl Ikeda
Kento Ikeda's dog Yentl joined Instagram
We kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression
RIP Carrie Fisher, you'll always have the best buns in the galaxy
suspecting that Kento was actually Carrie Fisher
you better not have liveregretted your own death
Bundespraesidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung
It wasn't necessarily a problem created by the children
the death of Gob, in POG form
it's a dream for the future and the water for the sands
Ikeda opens ass with Canada, Mexico chiefs
Ike opens talks with Canada, Mexico chiefs
Pokemon Hearts and Bones
the death of Carrie Fisher
getting poop onyour facelips
getting poop onyour buttlips
Rage Teats Colon Song
being honestly kind of surprised that French Stewart made it to the end of Rag Teats
being honestly kind of surprised that French Stewart made it to the end of Stargate
the death of Kento
the death of Go
the death of Gob
regrets about POW blowing
READING a FICTIONAL ACCOUNT that is COMPLETELY "MOLARS ARE GENDER"
writing a news story that is basically "canines be sex"
writing a news story that is basically "chidren eat candy"
Prince George and Princess Charlotte were each given a little something to help them get through a Christmas Day church service colon candy canes
Strom Thurmond strumming your fur mound
#ripurigeller
#ripboygeorge
bulking kirstiealley on fatworld because you were tired of seeing her mobile
blocking kirstiealley on the street because you were tired of her walking past
blocking kirstiealley on twitter because you were tired of seeing her advertisements
equating Kento with dead pigs
equating David Cameron with people
wondering what percentage of people would rather put their dick in Kento's mouth than put it in a dead pig's mouth
Advento Ikeda
Twenty Sixteen Remains Defiant, Posts Pictures of Jewel and Winona Rider on its official Twitter account
Twenty Sixteen Colon The Year Where a Lot of Singers from the Eighties Whose Immense Popularity I Never Really Understood Died
the death of George Michael
you're awful chipper for someone who just survived a cardiac episode
the death on the set of Welsh Rape Caress I all but guaranteed the shelving of Welsh Rape Caress II
choking to death on Welsh Rape Caress I
choking to death on a careless whisper
Nakkobites
JACOBINS
Jacobites
femalebrandybutter
maleguacamole
mailguacamole
posthumous
Dicks Out for Prince was the title of his final album
Harambe is getting a special Oscar in next year's ceremony
dicks out for Prince
that Harambe isn't showing up in any of the year end "Celebrities Who Died This Year" lists
butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin butterin Kento's buns
not remembering the time we established that Kento has an annual sodomy session with David Cameron, but not doubting it did occur
bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin bustin Kento's buns
REBOOT COLON THE GUARDIAN CODING Kento's lox
REBOOTING Kento's lox
booting Kento's lox
looting Kento's box
successfully opening the best dairy in Sidley, East Sussex with Daisy Ridley
thapping that but
the But Thap Temple
wanting to make Kento an aurochs for Christmas
another nylon seal dad christmas
wanting to make Kento a loot box for Christmas
Pump problem leaves properties in London without water
another olden sand lay christmas
another anal soddenly christmas
another sad and lonely christmas
The complaint against Barclays, quoting consultants who privately called the underlying loans "craptacular", broadly echoes allegations against other banks in mortgage securities settlements
we work hard, we pray hard
Steel Pope would be a great superhero
drawing a picture of the constipated steel pope drinking jet fuel
drawing a picture of steel pope shitting in an abandoned Detroit steelworks
god I loathe steel pope, eh
god I loathe these people
wondering how Gary Fisher is taking all of this
just on the off chance that you were Carrie Fisher all along and consequently have a better reason for being silent all day than catching up with your loved ones, don't die, also, loved you in The 'burbs
what's going to happen is they will come to their senses, and we will all be just fine
narwhal mating with Heidi Klum
walrus mating with Heidi Klum
Seal mating with Heidi Klum
white rumped munias
aurochs
that you were skeptical at first, but now that you're back in the USSR you have to admit that it sure does feel great again
scrotox
Trillions of winged migrants take to British skies
that most of the distilled spirits used in the production of vinegar are derived from natural gas and petroleum
mouse voice I'm in
Vampirates
hacker voice I'm in
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop splitting open her asshole
suspecting Scarlett Johansson would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
wondering what cruel god would place the male g spot so far up the ass you'd need a dick to reach it
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the liquid waste out of the genitals grope
suspecting your girlfriend would like you to stop spitting in her asshole
that basically any questions on waste elimination and reproduction being so closely linked may be blamed on the worms, those tube bastards
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the liquid waste out of the genitals trope
wanting to give Kento a turtleneck for Christmas
wondering what cruel god would place a woman's organs responsible for reproduction and gestation, and one of the areas of the body most prone to infection, within spitting distance of the asshole
Angelapuppy
Angelababy
getting one of those picture captchas and instead of "select all the pizzas" or whatever it asked you to identify the "romantic" scenes and you were like dude, too fast and also, none of these you have shit taste
that you were skeptical at first, but now that you're back in America you have to admit that it sure does feel great again
wondering where that whole "eliminate liquid waste out of your genitals" thing came from
Brodolf the Brocode Reindeer
Pokemon Crapping Into His Holes and Having Indecent Sleepovers
No one simply walks into Mordor without visiting the Tunnel
A Butt's Life
No one goes to London without visiting the Tunnel
Maxim's Caterers Limited opened the first The Cheesecake Factory in China under a licensing agreement with CCF China Operating Corporation, an affiliate of California based The Cheesecake Factory Incorporated
Chineesecake
all of the Cheesecake Factories shutting down due to the flood of cheap, low quality Chinese cheesecake
Ikeda is urging elderly men to start crapping into his holes and having indecent sleepovers
Toy Glory Hole
if YOU know anything about porn, you know a 'poop shot' is the money shot aka the cum shit
if you know anything about porn, you know a 'pop shot' is the money shot aka the cum shot
Pornstars, Inc
travelling's extra l
Finding Kento Sexy II Colon Buttholes Galore
Pixar's brief foray into sexploitation films, starring a family of travelling walruses
finding Kento sexy
Anis A from Tataouine, Jedi Knight
Anis A from Tataouine
wanting to market a protein powder called Bulkrage Five Thousand and One, which will just be ground up dog hair and peanut shells with added sugar and caffiene
Ikea is urging teenagers to stop creeping into its stores and having illegal sleepovers
THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT AND NOT AN ACTUAL NEWS ARTICLE, BLOG, OR CONSUMER PROTECTION UPDATE
doing alright, getting good grades, the future's so bright, you've gotta Eiffel Tower Kento with a walrus
Florence Henderson's last film before her death SUCKING off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
Florence Henderson's last film before her death
SUCKING off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
he's not a robot
I just don't want things to get out of hand
it's not being rationed, jeez
I told you before, he has enough grease
wanting to grease up Kento and send him to a truckstop for his birthday
truckstop butterfrees
Pokemon Truckstop Butterflies and Portliest Buttfuckers
Pokemon Marx and Scanlon
same thing
portliest buttfuckers
truckstop butterflies
flappers
blowing off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for Texas Gems, eh
Wildly erratic even for a spoof movie, Fifty Shades of Black bears the unfortunate distinction of offering fewer laughs than the unintentionally funny film it's trying to lampoon
bright young things
doing it with mirrors
blowing off your girlfriend to go to sex practice because you're trying out for the Sex Games
An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship
WOLVERINE Barbara
Phantom and his henchmen also appear to eschew undergarments, as is made painfully obvious in several shots
Murder Ahoy!
Storm Barbara
The Rapes of Wrong
Rape Wrong With a Vengeance
Rape Wrong Two Colon Rape Wronger
Wronger Rapes Colon Aftershock
Power Rangers Colon Aftershock
Lieutenant Commander The Guy Who Said "We ain't found shit"
The Guy Who Said "We ain't found shit"
the death of Haile Selassie
bottoming for Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson in Shitting Presidents VII
that the current chance of a sitting President of the United States of America being impeached is one in twenty two, but the chance of acquittal is currently running at lOO%
your parents expressing dismay that once again they have missed the broadcast of Mister Magorium, unwittingly eliciting a response from you that you have in fact seen it and it is in fact kind of OK
going to Starbucks and ordering a chevychase, then sitting in the corner smirking to yourself
going to Starbucks and ordering a HILARYSWANK, then getting everyone waiting in line pissed off by explaining the joke for five minutes
going to Starbucks and ordering a HILARYSWANK
Remember BAKEST
going to Starbucks and ordering a ralphmacchio
"She Bangs" by Ricky Martin but every time he sings the word bee it's the entire Bee Movie played backwards at half speed
meeting William Hu and Ricky Ma at the Planearium
hey guys, Remember Baker
Remember Baker
drawing a picture of Ricky Martin jerking off to the sound of Javier Bardem's voice
guessing that Scarlett Johansson, and most actresses in general, have buttholes in most of the movies they're in
the coat of arms of the Hohenzollerns
ng
William Hu
ngs, ngs, by, ves, ves, zy, wer ngs e, rl ry, ngs, ngs
she ba, she ba, oh ba, when she mo, she mo, I go cra, cause she looks like a flo but she sti like a be, like every gi in histo, she ba, she ba
drawing a picture of Ricky Ma jerking off to the sound of Javier Bardem's voice
wondering if the ScarBo has a butthole like in that one movie
drawing a picture of a succession of random Scottish men lining up to have their penises torn off by a malfunctioning Mark I ScarBo
drawing a picture of Scarlett Johansson staring at her phone waiting for the call from StarWankers only to have RoboEleanor call and tell her that her services would no longer be needed
THEY TOOK OUR HAND JOBS
The robot may seem strange now, but Mark I's descendants could take your job one day
a chilling vision of the end of humanity
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and the Boston Dynamics BigDog
Ricky Ma and Mark I pose for a photo in his Hong Kong flat becoming a prophet of doom
Pokemon Ricky Ma and Mark I
Ricky Ma and Mark I pose for a photo in his Hong Kong flat
becoming a prophet of doom
Celebrity sex robots will soon be a reality
Carl Hirschmann, XXXVI, allegedly hurled his drink at freelance photographer Barnabas Wilhelm
You ought to have instructed your attorney to bring an action against the seducer of your wife for criminal conversation
nerd facts
Vader's Redemption Colon The Imperial March in a Major Key
he just joined the pony club
the donkey looks pretty chill
A nativity scene without any Jews, Arabs, Africans, refugees or unwed mothers
Generalissimo Firm Thatcher Ass
My first surprise was that he was so kind, like firm Thatcher ass
My first surprise was that he was so kind, like Father Christmas
her name was Lola, she was a shogun, appointed Sei i Taishogun by the Emperor of Japan
being towed from Toad Hall
it's on a merry cast orchard's prow
I see raven and you chow hard!
Reibun Mie Chatte Cho Taihen!
dynamite with a laser beam
unpresidented actions
making a bone moe
making a foe paw
all those star systems slipping through your fingers
it takes just over eight seconds for bullshit to cross the earth
reading an article reviewing books that discuss the contributions women made to science, seeing the sentence "It takes just over eight seconds for sunlight to reach the Earth" in the first paragraph and thinking, naw, I'm not gonna read this
Stacy's mom is eating dung
Stacey's mom is a giant dugong
discussing the art of French stew with French Stewart
Stacey's mom has got a giant dong
Male walruses have one giant one, but Kento has three in him at once colon Fat Gay Asians Class of Twenty Sixteen
Male walruses have giant ones, but human men not at all colon How we lost the penis bone
if I were I definitely wouldn't be making that kind of money
for the last time, I'm not a gigolo
plus you might earn enough money to rent Natalie Portman for an hour or two
hey, for all you know that girl could be popping ladyboners for you right this minute
what am I, Stacey's mom
it's not like you've got anything else going on
I say go for it
fix me
being freaked out that there's a help wanted sign in the deli window, which is let's face it a new patheticism even for someone as easily freaked out as yourself
Eleanor strikes again
Germany's 'Rent a Jew' Project Aims to Fight Anti Semitism
deciding whether or not to thin the herd in the morning with Michael Dorn
learning chiropractic from Brent Spiner
eating thin franks in the john with Jonathan Frakes
making an art of tricking people into eating stew seasoned with pot with Patrick Stewart
brooking a very mean comb with Colm Meaney and Avery Brooks
tearing Colin Farrell a new colon with Terry Farrell
visiting your nana with Nana Visitor
an overwhelming science that we were the center of the world
an intellectual curiosity expedition
just kind of going "hah, tot"
formulating a theorem that firm hats last longer but not knowing what to call it
just kind of going "hot hat"
fuck marry kill, a Gogoat, a Carracosta, a Geodude
He said he played with the "midget" and possibly picked her up but could not provide specific details, court documents said
quite forgetting that licorice is a mild laxative
fuck marry kill, a goat, a carrot, a geode
not giving a fuck either way
wondering whether you would rather fuck a goat and have nobody know about it, or not fuck a goat but have everyone you know think that you fuck goats
if I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals, I'd be arrested
euphemistically referring to a child's poo as "roi des crayons"
just kind of going oh colon that
there's no way this could backfire
McDonald's to test UberEats delivery in Florida
UberEATS
Pokemon Fat Man and Dancing Girl and Most of the Show is Concealed from View
Pokemon "Cunnilumpkin" and "Blumpkina"
American Agency Founded to Interfere in the Internal Affairs of Other Governments Accuses Foreign Government of Interfering in American Internal Affairs
thinking you were getting a blumpkina but actually being a bag of Doritos
blumpkith
not having contact information for any of the two thousand five Minnesota Vikings
that there seems to be no good term for the cunnilingus equivalent of a blumpkin, with Google providing the unsatisfying "cunnilumpkin" and "blumpkina"
This is the first step to enable mankind to consume pies with more elegance and comfort
It is believed this is the first pie to be launched into the stratosphere
Meat and potato pie 'sent into space' from Wigan
ordering the babydick ribs at the Trump Grill
always thinking Peppermint Patty had more self respect
wanting to make Kento a Boston butt grinder for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a bulkie roll for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Boston cream pie for his birthday
Pokemon Clams and Hot Wieners
putting too much cumin in your hot meat sauce
Rhode Island being all about clams and hot wieners
trying to pull yourself up out of the dumpster behind Steak n Shake and all people see is something cumming into the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
wanting to make Kento a New York System wiener for his birthday
trying to pull yourself up out of the dumpster behind Steak n Shake and all people see is something coming out of the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
trying to pull yourself up out of the gutter and all people see is something coming out of the gutter
she says "violins broke out" rather than "violence broke out," or "controversial French" instead of "conversational French"
defending your brazier from Brendan NILES
defending your brasserie from Brendan Frasier
defending your brassiere from Brendan Frasier
defending your brazier from Brendan Frasier
when its wings are cut a bird forgets how to fly
The Deputy Commissioner made clear that Mr Trump must divest himself not only of managerial control, but of all ownership interest as well
Yungdrung
cleaning Jewel's turtleneck
always preferring Jewel's cover of Long Rodded Girls to Rachel Stevens's
getting Rachel Stevens' "Some Girls" as a suggested video after Queen's "Long Rodded Girls"
getting "Twin Long Rods #Two" as a suggested video after Queen's "Long Rodded Girls"
mostly butts
it's basically just laughing possibly seventeen year old possibly eighteen year old girls and their butts for like eight minutes
getting "Yoga Challenge #Two" as a suggested video after Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls"
Yosodomy Sam
always misspelling sodomy
how quickly things take turns towards genocide and soddomy here
good colon grief
bottoming for Gaydolph Shitler in The Anal Solution VII
It's the Anal Solution, Charlie Brown
It's the Final Solution, Charlie Brown
It's the Final Countdown, Charlie Brown
eating the dick girl of Europe
the regret that started the "Kento wants to fuck Chris Lydon" trope that has dominated Kento for over a hundred thousand sexual encounters
being the dick girl of Europe
demisemihemidemisemiquavers demisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihemidemisemiquaversdemisemihem
guessing that Charlie Brown was circumcised and thus Clean Your Turtleneck, Charlie Brown would never have been made
eating the sick man of Europe
attractive bullshit
that "kid dies in Santa's arms" story was complete bullshit
It's Dental Flossophy, Charlie Brown
being the sick man of Europe
demisemihemidemisemiquavers
I WAS IN DEMI MOORE'S POO
I'll bet you were, sicko
I WAS IN THE POO
Harry Styles Fans Are Already Pretty Sure He's Going to Get a Krona Urn for Dick
Harry Styles Fans Are Already Pretty Sure He's Going to Get an Oscar for Dunkirk
I WAS IN THE POOL
it's just the cold, I swear
moving like tiny tigers
moving like cagey tigers
DONG Energy
that would be a lie
that if Ryan turned up right now and asked what the hell we're doing you'd say he'd caught us at a bad time and it's not always like this
vajazzling Dickjewel
darning Dickgirl Jewel's sock
Dickjewel
cleaning Dickgirl Jewel's cock
cleaning Jewel's clock
cleaning Jewel's frying pan
drawing a picture of Gordon Ramsay going to a museum, seeing an ancient Egyptian statue mislabeled as Horus, and screaming "It's fucking RA!"
wanting to make Jewel roasted chestnuts for Christmas
Cozmo
RtwoDten and a half
Santa baby, now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho, and hurry down my chimney tonight
fuck marry kill, Prince's left half stitched to David Bowie's right half, a chimera with Alan Thicke's limbs and head attached to Alan Rickman's body, Kenny Baker with Kimbo Slice's genitals
they're vegan
you can do them in a frying pan
roast chestnuts are quite nice
Alan Longe
on further investigation actually knowing The Christmas Song quite well, but only the first two lines, presumably because it always gets faded down around then
seeing a book about the mathematics of Santa and now wondering if there is a chapter proving how many parents and possibly reindeer he fucks every Christmas eve
not recalling The Christmas Song by name but assuming it goes "the Christmas song, the Christmas song, Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Christmas song"
Santa baby, do me in the butt dry with haste, I've lost all self respect, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Alan Thicke dying at sixty nine
at least its not as bad as Santa Baby, which as far as you can tell is a song about getting reamed by Santa
hating The Christmas Song not only because it lists a bunch of activities that have no relevance to you outside of fiction and do nothing but remind reactionaries about the good ol' days, but also because it has the gall to call itself THE Christmas Song
The character is the yolk of an unfertilized egg, devoid of gender
Thai police officers who have committed minor transgressions such as showing up late or parking in the wrong place are forced to wear pink Hello Kitty armbands for several days as penance
a small boy who thinks he can lick me
Mother, Jugs & Speed
Hikky Burr
it's gotta be Russia, right
wondering what country has the highest per capita rate of emasculation via chainsaw
Purrno
this is Evil Borno, we have The Fudge, give us the pee
seeing a guy in a porno perfectly chop off his pussycat's penis and name him Borno
seeing a guy in a porno who looks like Bono and naming him Borno
playful as a pussycat
Drunk dude accidentally chops off friend's penis with chainsaw perfect metric, eh
Drunk dude accidentally chops off friend's penis with chainsaw
perfect metric, eh
the perfect crime
apologising for apologising
apologising for doing that thing where you talk obsessively on one subject even though it's to no purpose
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by human frailty and circumstance
palette cleansers
disturbing thoughts which are only disturbing because you have the wrong frame of reference but which in turn re frame other media to become disturbing
guilt over imagined slights
not being good at remembering or guessing people's ages
it's confusing
she's super tiny in person
I'd ultravote that because it's basically what ended any pretense of my own rationality like eleven years ago but obviously I don't really want to be directly reminded every day
having impure thoughts about a teenage Natalie Portman
the perpendiculars aren't great either
honestly the parallels are kind of disturbing
agewise she was more of a Taffy Dale
Lydia is the correct choice, followed closely by Kim Boggs
ouroubourous
probably Lydia Deetz
not being sure where the line falls between "pictures of former sexual partners" and "comparisons of former sexual partners to real or imagined characters"
let's face it, it was probably Helena Bonham Carter, or failing that, Johnny Depp in drag
actually that's a lie, it was just once, blackout drunk, and she started it
Becky
wondering which Tim Burton heroine you banged fourteen times
wondering what is up with Brad Pitt making WWII films lately
Meet Jack Black
kind of taking the point that Wonder Woman should be able to wear what she wants and "put some pants on" is patronizing, but also having met the average comic book buyer many times and knowing the current film costume is a choice, and a it's bullshit one
Fantatic Breats and Where to Find Them
huge breats
that I'm all for diversity and female empowerment and all that, but once you start titshaming you've lost me
A large breated, white woman of impossible proportions almost hung up her scanty shimmery, thigh baring body suit after a heart wrenching experiene at a child's death bed
A professional Santa said he almost hung up his suit for good after a heart wrenching experience at a child's death bed
a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh baring body suit
Miss Moneypenny, oh
Carrey made a special cameo appearance near the end of the program, and was slimed while in a hot air balloon shaped apparatus
Jack Black was slimed near the end of the program during a special appearance by Jim Carrey, who himself was slimed while in a hot air balloon shaped apparatus
#DeadlySerious
it's deadly serious
putting a hashtag out isn't really a joke
also not really wanting to talk to Gemma because apparently she lives with Ben, who last you heard was stealing cars for a living
I know you made the same joke, I just wanted to do it too
Roman Polanski winning the Teens Don't Have a Choice Lifetime Achievement Award
managing to find Gemma who would probably know what happened to Becky, but not wanting to be a full on creep and actually ask, meanwhile Becky is still cute somewhere and single no doubt and just waiting in vain
#TeensDontHaveAChoiceAwards #Hottub
winning the Kids' Choice Award for Favorite Polish Star
Teenasaurus Rox reserves the right to choose the winner from the top four vote generators
The Sims III Showtime Colon Katy Perry Collector's Edition
wondering what happens if the President Elect misses the inauguration, like do they have to be sworn in later or is there a disqualification clause
meeting Trumppence Middleton
Reddit Colon Basically Fifty Year Old Men in Diapers, Plus Some Nazis
being offered The Revenant for ninety nine TRUMP by Google Play and thinking yes, that sounds like a quality item
that there is a category for "Choice Muser" and you literally have no fucking idea what a muser is but apparently it was won by someone named "Baby Ariel" so you're going to assume it is some kind of diaper fetish porn site
being offered The Revenant for ninety nine pence by Google Play and thinking yes, that sounds like a quality item
if there's a trophy for fucking to hand out they're all over it
seeing that Leonardo DiCaprio won the Teen Choice Award for Choice Movie Actor Colon Drama for The Revenant and wondering when American youths became so fond of bear fucking
discusee
the halcyon days when the things you wanted to do most online was discusee what the Enterprise E would look like on IRC, instead of feeling awkward about whether you "like" an acquaintance from the distant past's Facebook photos more than is appropriate
never having a facebook except the joke one you use for sites that demand a facebook login
literally deleting all your data from the site because nobody you cared for ever tried contacting you and you were in any case far away by then
signing up for FriendsReunited in, like, September two thousand, and by the following year having seen it settle into confused older people trying to find out if their classmates were alive and your own class trying to find out who was the best bang
that you were probably among the first hundred thousand or so people to sign up for Facebook, but then you didn't use it at all for like five years after that and by then the bang webs were already firmly in place
handing out participation trophies to your ex's
winning the Sex Choice Award for Best Newcomer with seventeen bangs
Pokemon Kind Of This and Kind Of That
gunpowder and gelatine
kind of sneering at them at the time for their blithe promiscuity within a limited social pool, but now romanticizing their squalid little hookups as the human contact you feel you lack for yourself
kind of losing touch with people after it turned out they were using email groups and nascent social media platforms to manage their increasingly contorted web of Who's Banged Who
I'd settle for either of those
that nearly all of your friends from high school are married already, many with kids, except for your stoner Mormon friend who is living with a sugar mama fifteen years his senior and your French chef friend who is banging a runaway eighteen year old
taking some consolation from the fact that you yourself haven't turned out looking like one of Wayne and Garth's friends, even if you are still waiting for Tia Carrere to happen
basically everybody you can remember the names of from your teenage years being a fucking deadbeat according to their LinkedIn and other social media
It is really, really, really hard to care much about a platonic romantic relationship between Renee Zellweger and a bee, although if anyone could pull it off, she could
Bee Movie and chill
with like a hundred kids, all of them mine, because presumably it works the same way as with bees since I'm not having any sex any more
she's probably ugly now
in retrospect offering to share with the internet fortunately non existent pictures of someone you had sex with when you were both children probably isn't the smartest thought ever to enter your head
she didn't even have any unusual piercings that I recall, just black or purple nail polish
feeling like the second we start sharing pics of our sexual trophies is the second I'm going to leave this site for good
she just had long black curly hair on her head you pervert geez and stripey tights and wore a lot of black
she didn't do the makeup or anything
if I had any pictures of Becky I'd show you
feeling like there are elements of the goth look that you find attractive, but having never actually seen, in your entire life, a legitimately cute goth girl
getting a whole branch to yourself on the family tree
it's not like I banged a Harley Quinn
it was the nineties
banging a Tim Burton heroine
whichever was the one with the black and lilac stripey tights
wondering whether she was Visigoth or Ostrogoth
I'm such a catch it's hard to imagine I'll still be single
I'll tell my aunt to start packing on the pounds if she wants to bang an unemployed racist Brit
regret one one nine two oh one
also Becky your aunt, maybe
Becky the goth, not Becky your aunt
not unless she filled out
that your aunt is an Anglophile and took like three months off from work and wandered around the UK a couple of years back, so if she ever goes back again you could probably hook up if you want
wondering whether she was the huge breasted poker playing bikini model goth
an actual legitimately cute goth girl, not just a legitimate goth girl
I'm pretty sure I'm not Corbin Bernsen
never actually learning Becky's last name, because you were, are, and will always be a fucking idiot
that not to brag, but seriously how drunk does a body have to be that a teenager wouldn't remember losing his virginity with an actual legitimate goth girl
regret two four seven eight nine
if you could tell your aunt I'm sorry I was such a stupid teenager and I'd kind of like to hope she didn't name our daughter after my vapid teen crush then that'd be great
having sex with an equally drunk girl for like, sixteen years
and by the way, screw you, me
feeling like you never really knew a Becky other than your aunt, because most Rebeccas went by Becca
that shortly after you turned sixteen you were at another party with Becky and she was super sad and drinking peach schnapps outside in a way that really made you want to hang out with her more, but she basically broke up with you AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
getting so blackout drunk on the night of your sixteenth that you didn't even realise you'd had sex with an equally drunk girl for like, sixteen years
that when you were fifteen you were super into a diurse Kate or Katie and thought she was The One, even though she was just kind of stringing you along for attention, to the point that you didn't even notice you actually kind of had a girlfriend, Becky
that Katie was like the most popular girl's name of people your age and you never dated or banged even a single one
My Lord, I had forgott the Fart
it's actually really embarrassing
it's okay, me mom is awfully wet
sometimes believing that you deliberately place yourself in situations where you must apologise, as it feels easier than just getting things right
I don't know where that came from and I apologise
it's raining so much here that it's wetter than you mom at a me convention
The Curious Cod of Androgynous Buttom
Shitty Movies About Crypto Fascist Authority Figures and Chill is the new big thing, I hear
not having been on a date in so long that you assume the kids these days enjoy bath salts, date rape and complaining about bath salt date rape dates, and possibly shitty movies about crypto fascist authority figures
the Bechstein was our lifeline
on a scale of get out to I'LL SUE YOU IN ENGLAND
wondering how important it is to your crossover fanfic
wondering what proportion of comic pets, such as Snoopy and Garfield, are neutered
trying to remember the details of the Hughie Green Paula Yates tryst story as it was told to you, but failing pretty badly
I would bang an Alison if there were no Katies around
Alison has reassured her managers that the posts were shared unwittingly and she was unaware of their wider context
wondering why you want to bang a Katie all of a sudden, anyway
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD HAVE A PANDAMAN BABY
It is expected that zoos in destinations such as San Diego in the United States and Mexico City will now be able to provide their own semen to inseminate more giant pandas
playing Goblins and Guillotines with Axl Rose
goblin on the guillotine
it could be normal but it isn't quite
the long broken arm of human law
sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
all the clearly healthier, more accomplished dancers on Michael Jackson's "Bad" video who have been told to just tone it down a little please
drinking all that licorice tea and kind of fucking up your blood pressure
figuring out the guy's name but still being kind of irritated
fuck marry kill, Bill Murray, Jackie Chan, John Candy
spending ten minutes trying to work out the name of the middle aged guy who used to hit on you at work when you were twenty, not because you're suddenly into that, but because you thought it should be easy to find and it's not
and slash or whoever
the guitar riff on Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" being classic Axl Rose
being, for the second night running, spectacularly envious and really starting to wonder about your own mental well being, christ
Shoreditch Colon Londons Florida
Shoreditch baking company launches 'bring your own semen' cookery
sittin' here, eatin' Myke Hawke out waitin'
sittin' here, eatin' my heart out waitin'
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Dexy and a tiger named Jackson C Frank
dinner's at six, wear your semen shoes
the mice in their million hordes
trading your passion for glory
wondering what it was about Citizen Smith that made Survivor want to copy the look for Eye of the Tiger
heap big woman you made a bad boy outta me
Pokemon Guns and Roses
she spoke just like a baroness
how lame and folksy a lot of Guns n Roses looks to your elf eyes
how lame and folksy a lot of Guns n Roses sounds to your adult ears
if you want it you're gonna bleed but it's the price you pay
I tell you whut
ding dang dong dong ding dang dong dong ding dang
that life is beautiful around the world
I don't mind if you don't mind
Dick Pound
wondering if there is a Republican potential candidate named Pounds for Mike Pence to run with in twenty twenty, just to really hammer home the elected kings thing
Trump Manson Twenty Twenty
A disgraced barrister who stalked the mistress his wife described as the 'chavvy woman from Southampton' is facing the end of his career today
Moors murderer Ian Brady says Brexit judges 'must not block the people's vote'
the Hogwarts Raping Hat
not being lOO% sure but thinking that you could lose status if you married non whites under I'd Rape Hat
Sings 'Merry Christmas She Bangs' to the tune of William Hung's classic hit
Sings 'Merry Christmas Shout' to the tune of Lulu's classic hit
Belmont returned to King's Cross shouting "Bradfat" at any railway station official he could find
not playing Sim City
nut playing Son City
Will Smith's killer found guilty of manslaugther in road rage shooting
not being lOO% sure but thinking that you could lose status if you married non whites under Apartheid
wondering whether Kento's mom is an "actual white" or an "honorary white"
A Nutmeg Tits SINGULARITY
A Nutmeg Tits Convergence
Constructive Engagement
it's honestly a pretty bad record, even if it does have a nice hook
not playing Sun City
his rape hearing is next Monday, for one thing
maybe we'll all get lucky and he'll be arrested before inauguration
not hooking up with Ryan's prostate crushing ultrapenis
getting the chance to have your first taste of post Trump America in a week and a half
Ryan North's ovary and or prostate crushing ultrapenis
Ryan North's crushing inability to make a site specifically designed for the telling of rambling anecdotes in an easy to read format
that was actually a typo but I like the way it turned out
hashtag maga frowny face
wanting to make a joke about French Polishers based on that old Yellow Pages ad where the kid needs a French Polisher stat but when they arrive it's Marie Curie and he dies of radiation poisoning, but thinking you'll have no frame of reference for that
how hard it is to read a very long, very narrow block of white text on black background, not that I'm faulting you for doing so, but wishing that Ryan had maybe thought things through a little better ten and a half years ago
Project Crispy Pancake
For political reasons, the classification of "honorary white" was granted to immigrants from Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, countries with which South Africa maintained diplomatic and economic relations, and to their descendants
Project Hot Eagle
Phanariotes
"Mrs Britannia" and her daughter "Miss Canada" discussing whether "Cousin Jonathan" aspires to 'marriage' with Canada
into the garbage failure, mancub
being ridiculously, childishly envious, to the point where it starts to feel like jealousy, you pathetic, emotion ridden man cub garbage failure
seeing a video of MARGARET THATCHER in a skintight bathing suit that clearly outlines her COCK and BALLS
seeing a picture of Winston Churchill in a skintight bathing suit that clearly outlines his VAGINA and OVARIES
a light cord which is clearly a set of anal beads
A MUG THAT SAYS 'LADY GARDENER' AND YOU CAN'T LAUGH BECAUSE YOUR MUM IS STANDING RIGHT THERE
Galashiels Utilitarianism
Jonathan C Living Stone Skull
Galoshes Distributism
Ghoulish Capitalism
Goulash Communism
sweaty girls
sweater girls
poor old Johnny Ray sounded sad upon the radio but he moved a million hearts in mono
you wanted a fat gay Asian, you're the one who has to take care of him
okay, fine, but I'm not going to be the one to bathe him after it's done
it's FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, you meanie
he doesn't need any more grease
wanting to grease up Kento and push him down a bobsleigh run for his birthday
believing you had supernatural powers, slamming into a brick wall
meating the Flintstones
The Flintstones
meating George Jetsonm his boy, Elroy, daughter Judy, Jane, his wife
the more that I live on the inside there's nothing to give
rearranging my position on this friend of mine who had a little bit of a breakdown
girl lent rabies
raping hats
tensile bra girl
rapist hats
terrible signal
racist hats
let's just start with the webcam thing and then see where we want to go from there
I want to fuck you like a clown honk honk, I want to seltzer you from ringside
Teddy Petter and the Chamber of Secrets, if you know what I mean
"Teddy" Petter
mothakes
milk of amnesia
Man punches a kangaroo in the ass to rescue his kid
Man punches a kangaroo in the face to rescue his dog
I swinge, as a pedulum dothe
I bomme, as a bombyll bee dothe
The fact that the crack had opened a door for dick didn't mean women
The fact that the women had opened a crack for dick didn't mean door
The fact that the door had opened a crack for women didn't mean dick
being zlain by a Chaotic Bono
assessing asses
getting unlimited assessments of Hayden Christensen's career and ability with a Chaotic Bono subscription
this is Chaotic Bono, the chunky division assesss the rub while the apparatus writes the industry
getting unlimited repetitive stadium cock with a Boner Prime subscription
getting unlimited repetitive stadium rock with a Bono Prime subscription
feeling like any Bono that wants to kill Bono Prime is by definition Good Bono
this is Evil Bono, I'm paying all your taxes and funding the creation of a carbon capture program for your stupid fucking hat
After escaping several of the "evil Utwo's" murder attempts, the band reunites and performs a "rock off" against their evil counterparts, which ends with the "good Utwo" emerging victorious
fuck marry kill, the fuck marry kill meme, the kids to dogs meme, the ball to cock ring
sdog COLUMN
when one of your earballs stops cockring
cockring in a coal mine, goin' down down down, cockring in a coalmine, oops, about to slip down
when one of your earbuds stops cockring
wokring for the man erevy night and day
when one of your earbuds stops wokring
His Highness, the President of the United States, and Protector of their Liberties
you better believe that's a paddlin'
that's a paddlin'
going paddling in the ocean, bulls on parade
visiting your nan, with sand in your shoes
rallying round the family, with a pocket full of shells
nicely done
kill you I won't do what you tell me
marry you I won't do what you tell me
fuck you I won't do what you tell me
Texas kill 'em
Texas kiss 'em
Texas thrill 'em
Texas hold 'em
sdog row
skid row
foredolls
foreguys
jet diving
shark diving
twink baiting
bear baiting
ball fighting
cock fighting
Arthur Wellesley referred the Portuguese Cacadores as the "fighting cocks" of his Anglo Portuguese Army
every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder
something something a child of six could respect this point something showers at Penn State
A child of six could respect this point
having never slept with anyone named Katie and kind of wanting to
Netherlands trial colon Geert Wilders guilty of incitement
hi, I'm Bleached Kodyak, nice to meet you
taking a full breath, relaxing your throat, keeping the sound moving
finding your Kardashian name by picking a random adjective and a random word from an atlas and acting like a high concept clown
eating dinner with Jason Voorhies and Freddy Krueger right in front of your face knowing that you're being stabbed in the back at the same time
Oplan Double Barrel
Leck mich im Kunst
Significant works of Rene Auberjonois are on public display at the Aargauer Kunsthaus, the Kunstmuseum Basel, the Cantonal Museum of Fine Arts in Lausanne, the Kunsthaus Zurich and the Werner Coninx Stiftung
becouming a bloud dounour
Kentou, cheerio
staring at my shoes, feeling so confused
did you mean dounour
there's a kebab shop in the village
I hope you can find a donor
needing a new cockball to control overflow and prevent spillages
cockpeen hammers
the death of John Glenn
cock lightning
Cock State University
playing footcock with Jar Jar Binks
Australian rules footcock
the United Kingdom footcock sexual abuse scandal
Thursday, Thursday, gettin' down on Thursday
it is Thursday
betting Jodie Sweetin is already sucking dick for meth in a back alley somewhere
betting Dave Coulier already put himself forward as a replacement
Candace Cameron Bure is leaving The View Colon 'I tried to be Superwoman'
dirty
snowballing out of control
asking a shoe "shoe do you do"
Today is the first time I came to know of the programme
mending a tremendous tree
the water's gettin' warm so you might as well swim
pingpu peoples
we should send him fanmail that reads like this, and also is written on sandpaper
besides the undeniable fact that there are moments wherein he shines, now no longer very many strategies you besides the undeniable fact that a pair
might The stress Be With You
Hayden Christensen is a actor with low to mid degree benefit, he has no relatively "defining" benefit or mannerisms that could element to him being certainly one of those "diamond in the puzzling"
on the subject of the single element the guy has going for him is his looks so I desire he gets lots of exertions with "B" movies and such previously than his looks start to go on him by way of fact after that I see him now no longer likely very a procedu
It extremely isn't "lifelike" to bypass judgement on him as an actor based on his artwork in SW
in west Philadelphia born and raised on the playground was where I spent most of my days chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shooting some b cock outside of the school
you put the cock in the basket and lotion it all up or else you get the hose again
wondering what the rules to basketcock are
the Leprechaun violently emerges from Kowalski's basket when he attempts to shoot some hoops
Leprechauns Don't Play BasketCOCK
yo, cheerio
that is racist
Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball
these Pokemon are Old and Overdone
those days are old and overdone
Linda McMahon is selected as Secretary of Hulkamania
Linda McCartney is selected as Secretary for Meat and Being Alive
Linda McMahon is selected as Administrator of the Small Business Administration
we should sand him
we should send him sand
sandmail
we should send him fanmail
wondering if anyone has ever written fanmail to Hayden Christensen
wondering whether there is a correlation between cold winters and an absence of internet trolls in spring just as there is a correlation between cold winters and an absence of retirees in spring
wondering if Hayden Panettiere and Hayden Christensen ever get each other's fanmail by mistake
aftermarket
buying an aftermarking Acer CrotchPiece instead of springing for the Alienware Dongwronger XIX
yeah, that's what I mean, people are basically just filming porn with a three sixty camera and playing it on an oculus rift, but when are we going to get the actual fully interactive stuff with maybe a crotchpiece or something
sucking her left one until your graphics card overheated
that apparently VR porn is already a thing, but it's just normal POV porn that's been messed up with a fisheye lens filter
sucking her left one until you ran out of saliva
wondering whether VR porn or sex robots will be the next big thing in self pleasuring
regrets about society
regrets about old people fucking young people
there's already sites about old people fucking young people, but with the straight white male being the principal audience for porn it's often hard to tell how much is aimed at older audiences and how much simply fetishizes them
wondering whether the rapidly aging population of the Western world will prefer younger pornographic subjects or if demand will shift towards geriatric buttsex and camgrannies
I thought you were talking about your grandfather for a second there
After recently having internet service installed at his house, he was "really able to look into it"
superfetation
how to get pregananant
that in fairness you do visit Yahoo! Answers a lot for comedy's sake, but that is listed as a separate site
recently discovering your ninety year old grandfather Eiffel Towering Kento with a walrus
recently discovering that your ninety year old grandfather appears in porn on the internet
recently discovering that your ninety year old grandfather browses porn on the internet
guessing that Yahoo! still gets a lot of traffic from confused older people with a million goddamn adware toolbars installed
probably closer to fifteen actually
being shocked to see that Yahoo! has a top five Alexa rank because you don't think you've visited it in at least ten years
Squanto Colon A Warrior's Tale
Harold Pinter writing a harlequin play starring Hayden Panettiere licking HP sauce off of Harry Potter's hard penis
Squanto
Myke Horse
Michael Horsey
the Canadian River
Michael Horse
Pokemon Alcoholism and Prostitution
no, I'm good thanks
Wahunsunacock
a potent mixture containing half absinthe and half cognac in a wine goblet
De Aardappeleters
taking the hugest dump in the communal khazi
Jack Frost nosing at your nips
I don't act, I just fuck
cigards
Pokemon Shit and Cigards
This guy had this nasty habit of taking a dump in the shared khazi while smoking a cigar, so we took to referring to him as "shit and Cigars"
Jack Frost nipping at your nips
we got Em in the place who likes it in the face
When you talk about our beloved Queen Elizabeth, I don't think there is a more gracious world leader
Myke Hawke nipping at your nose
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
telling Emma Stone you don't like Emma's tone
Joshua Bonehill Paine
making Ben Browder binge chowder
every Saturday night you'd be like "flush me Jay, flush me" and I'd be like "gnaw"
Betty "Tighty Whitey" White, Bea "Mine" Arthur, Rue "Mmm For One More" McClanahan, Estelle "WYSIWYG" Getty
feline AIDS
dragon AIDS
when life hands you dragons
Dragonnades
the Third Amendment to the United States Constitution
Before the outbreak of the war with Germany, De Keyser's had been operating as a first class hotel, mainly for a continental clientele
skin
slathering Kento in HP sauce
Et is short for only having little legs
HP is short for Hard Penis
HP Sauce
he loved what's left of the specialist polished plaster walls
feeling like there are some challenges that should have rewards, like the ability to add another name to your list and re laminate it
hold thrill kiss kill, Betty White, Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty
don't forget to lube
I'm going to use that image
that Betty White is in her nightie
Moose Factory
being a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a prawn and a king prawn
you're ridin' high in April, shot down in May
that's what all the people say
they're all pink on the inside
so I've heard
Kento's mom is white
the cumming of the white mom
the coming of the white men
He could very well be the Will Rogers of the coaching profession
FBI Colon Tycoon Was Excited By Gay Porn Star
buying multiple copies of the book "Five Children and It" for MTV Movie Award for Best Villain award winning actor Hayden Christensen
hearing that five children do it
hearing those walruses and podcasters do it
hearing that walruses and podcasters do it
hearing that lizards and frogs do it
Of all the Hans Gruber's in the world you're the Hans Gruberest
Of all the FRANZ STIGLER'S in the world you're the FRANZ STIGLEREST
Of all the Charlie Brown's in the world you're the Charlie brownest
Among Oakland's dozens of artist warehouses is one called That D Rape
Among Oakland's dozens of artist warehouses is one called Deathtrap
Three central Florida voters are mounting an unlikely bid to overturn the presidential election result in the Sunshine State
Electrically charged hard ons were the thing that gave the first Flash, Gay Jarrick, his ruined colon
Electrically charged hard water was the item that gave the first Flash, Jay Garrick, his ruined heat exchanger
Electrically charged hard water was the item that gave the first Flash, Jay Garrick, his spotted glassware
having demagogue sex with federalist sixtyeight
Federalist sixtyeight argued that an Electoral College should determine if candidates are qualified, not engaged in demagogy, and independent from foreign influence
Rogers' only hope for a new episode that combines intergalactic adventures with sensible science
ionic calcium power
Electrically charged hard water was the item that gave the first Flash, Jay Garrick, his superspeed
Chesten Marchant
bottoming for Panzier Zwei and Sherman Aches in Tank Topped Bum Boys VII
kronnekyn hager du
the death of Dolly Pentreath
drawing a picture of Boris Johnson and Gary Johnson braiding their johnsons together
tank topped bumboys
first you ask me to name one world leader, then you ask me to name TWO, where's it all end
I have a terrible feeling if I keep answering you, you will keep coming back with more
floor salsa
parking higher than Park Geun hye
Boris Johnson, Britain's top diplomat, flees live interview after being asked to name South Korean president
causing the ball to travel to a random spot with random spin
Albainn Nuaidh 'chinnidh
Alba Nuadh
accidentally saying "colon" out loud when someone asked you to read something out because you're so used to thinking of them that way
FBI Colon Tycoon Was Extorted By Gay Porn Star
rusty Elvish donuts
An image purportedly showing a donut with "Muslim writing" on it actually shows a pastry with Elvish writing in frosting
hairy breasted barbets
Sir Alexander Cockburn
Overend, Gurney and Company
I've got a reputation to uphold
the amazing Making Fun of Non English Names Index
hey guys, remember Jayalalithaa
Indian actress turned politician Jayaram Jayalalithaa dies
now what in the I say what in the WORLD did you chiw I say CHIW e tel eh ji o for
Flintstones Chiwetel Ejiofor
Chiwetel Ejiofor's eye for chewing well
In snooker, swapping the cue from one hand to the other in order to gain easy access to an oblique shot was long thought to be disrespectful, though more recently it has come to be accepted, especially since Ronnie O'Sullivan has dominated the world game
Pokemon Feces and Walrus Semen and Vaseline
Ann Coulter figured out that she'd been conned by Trump and now his true believers are going crazy
A significant portion of the film is dedicated to a series of unrelated subplots, most of which involve at least one supporting character and are unresolved due to the film's inconsistent narrative structure
it doesn't fill me with joy when someone meddles from outside
the ongoing slow death of Hindi nips nut rape
the ongoing slow death of the unpaid intership
a number of these television series, such as Gerry Anderson's various Supermarionation series such as Thunderbirds, Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner, and Jim Henson's The Muppet Show still have an international following CITATION NEEDED
BATMAN behind RESTAURANTS
cool breeze over the mountains, if you know what I mean
cool breeze over the mountains
Throggs Neck
an unprecedented fusion of earth home bomb bunker helter skelter spelunker shelters
When detectives examined his driver's license, Reubens told them, "I'm Peewee Herman", and offered to do a children's benefit for the sheriff's office, "to take care of this"
letting me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside
when I want a wife I'm gonna buy one
Gordon Behind Bars
Bone Mill Junction
not liking people, just wanting to jack off all over them
arriving at a party and immediately starting messing with your boner
not disliking people, just not wanting to have anything to do with them
you can find me in the club, pretending to text
arriving at a party and immediately starting messing with your phone
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen looking at pictures of naked ladies being raped by a midget falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups Thant
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen looking at pictures of naked ladies being raped by a midget
the death of Alice Drummond
exotic dancer and pornographic film star who dated mobster Mickey Cohen and was friends with Dallas club owner Jack Ruby
bottoming for Dong Connery in The Leauge of Extraordinary Genitalmen VII
The League of Rad Kento Anal Dryer Gentlemen VII
The League of Skinless Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinarily Naked Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinary Naked Gentlemen
hold thrill kiss kill, Bono, the Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr
I should never have laminated that list of things you can never get from me
if I can't get it from you I'll get it somewhere else
you better not be cheating on me
I'm wearing pajamas
looking at webcam streams of naked gentlemen
Pokemon Msenge and Basha
looking at pictures of naked jets
looking at pictures of naked sharks
giving Jane Wiedlin the Vegan D vrus
looking at pictures of naked dolls
looking at pictures of naked guys
drawing a picture of Bear Grylls being Tailgated by a bear and a girl
I am inside out, there can be no doubt
Jamie Oliver's penis once ballooned after he burnt it while cooking a romantic meal in the nude
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen being Eiffel Towered by other naked gentlemen and naked walruses
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen
You better run for your life if you can, little girl Hide your head in the sand little girl Catch you with another man That's the end'a little girl
At first I worried it would be this year's FOXCATCHER, but then it really grew on me
James Miranda Stuart Barry
Good news guys Muslims will not have to check in and get IDs
excessive self defence
perfect pictures of perfect dickladies
looking at pictures of naked dickladies
perfect strangers in perfect worlds apart
having impure thoughts about a thirtyish Jane Wiedlin
looking at pictures of Myke Hawke
realising the internet was getting to you when YouTube suggested a Communards song to you and you misread them as "the Commutards"
looking at pictures of Barenaked Ladies
being taped to Myke Hawke
looking at pictures of naked ladies
being taped by Ma Ridge
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense because Kevin "Homewrecker" McCallister won't pick up the phone
picking a guy whose nickname is "Bonesaw" as Secretary of Defense
Inspector Gadget, I hardly know 'er
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense being raped by Inspector Gadget
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense
being raped by Inspector Gadget
being vaped by a gadget
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eyhole with a motorcycle when you were the Fonz
the Salish Wool Dog Trials
the Salish Wool Dog
drawing a picture of a FULLY FUNCTIONAL Brent Spiner aye aye fucking Jackson C Frank's eyholes when you were a kid
giving an eye for an aye aye
giving a Lydon for a walrus
on the twelfth day of Chrismas, my true love sent to me Charlemagne's twelve peers peeing
giving a Roland for an Oliver
husting makes me feel good
Zac Goldsmith hit by his own car on way to Richmond Park by election hustings
Tucker's Luck followed the exploits of Tucker and his friends
Tucker's friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body to himself
swans don't crash, they attack reality for its impertinence
the death of Crashed Swan
the death of Andrew Sachs
The Duck Song
put down the caffeine for tae kwon do
drawing a picture of Jackson C Frank being Swinging London'd on a piano bench by Simon and Garfunkel
the dice were loaded from the start
the song's origins lie in a late night party, in which the duo and friends began banging on a piano bench
Hotel Californication
taking the midnight train going anywhere
the death of Jim Delligatti
hot dip galvanization
Japan black
Das Judenthum in der Musik
Semen Party I
tear my penis
rate my penis
semen parity
Pet Seminary
Portunidae
drawing a picture of Sting jerking off to insect porn after finishing another dank Bee Movie meme for his YouTube channel and smothering himself in honey
the pollen's the thing, wherein I'll catch the comb of the king
borrowing bees from a Jewish beekeeper and having to give a pound of honey to get them back
nuc Lear family FUCK
Pokemon Reagan and Gonorrhea
receiving three bee colonies, two which you expected to do well but which ultimately threatened, stung and disappointed you, one which you expected nothing of which ultimately was your saving grace, guess you went nuc Lear
DENTAL dam busting makes me feel good
dam busting makes me feel good
a horrific vision of the showers at a soccer practice ground from which echoes a slap slap slapping noise to the tune of the theme from Dambusters
I think the dam has just been busted, the guys who have come forward have been a catalyst
it certainly is
Jacobaea vulgaris
coming over here to the UK and teaching us how to drink out of cups
the beaker folk, coming over here, rowing up the Tagus estuary from the Iberian peninsula
losing weight while sucking dick
grapefruit technique
vegan live yogurt
you should be eating live yogurt
feeling like your running about a twelve or thirteen on the Bristol scale right now
I hope that someone gets my I hope that someone gets my I hope that someone gets my message in a boobie yeah
Someone Handed In A Dead Jellyfish To The Police Thinking It Was A Breast Implant From A Murder Scene
wanting to continue with those jokes but really only knowing those two Ricky Martin songs
She Clocks
being actually pained that there is currently no Viva la Vida Loca out there yet
The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups
Wake Me Up When All Star Ends
bottoming for Leah Rimminme in To The Garbage Chute Flyboy VII
bottoming for Leah Rimminme in Colon Aftermath VII
Drug resistant salmonella linked to Wisconsin THIGHS
Drug resistant salmonella linked to Wisconsin calves
Leah Remini Colon Scientology and the Aftermath
five to six thousand man sized holes
el circo volador de Monte Sierpe
Monte Sierpe
Greenpeace activists irreparably damaged the Nazca Lines while setting up a banner within the lines of one of the famed geoglyphs
Pokemon Darmok and Jalad
tweeting to atChapecoenseReal "at least you didn't have to eat each other #out"
tweeting to atChapecoenseReal "at least you didn't have to eat each other #alive"
Benedict Cumberbatch as the Grinch
Two police forces have today confirmed they are investigating comments made by a far right leader back in March
You're rock music's biggest colonist
Pokemon Derek and the Dominos
wanting to make Kento a cryogenic style burrito for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an emission style burrito for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Mission style burrito for his birthday
NASA Wants You to Help Astronauts Poop
thanks, I try
you anuse eat me, Mr Grinch
you nauseate me, Mr Grinch
Thant
no man is an island, entire of itself, each is a piece of the continent, a part of the daisy chain
like some sort of daisy chain
we are all connected
that's weird, last night I dreamed that someone came to my home and made me his thirteenth spouse, and Kento was telling me he got fucked thirteen times last night
having an incredibly vivid dream last night in which someone came to your workplace and put a gun to your head and you managed to escape but he ended killing thirteen people
Banda Oriental
calling up a bank and asking them if they have five pound notes, and when they say yes, asking them how they got to the phone so fast
trace amounts of currency are present in the UK's new polymer bank notes, making them unsuitable for Brexit
trace amounts of tallow are present in the UK's new polymer bank notes, making them unsuitable for vegans
not the way you talk, buttmouth
that doesn't rhyme with Ving Rhames
Ein Bund furs Leben
rhyming things with Ving Rhames
the film has something for pretty much anybody who likes horses and good people going thru "class struggles" within a tight knit horse related community of rich snobs and their "toys"
Los Angeles based porn company Assence Films extended an offer to Heiman to appear in an adult film of his choosing
I'd watch it, I'm not saying I wouldn't watch it, but it's like you watching me, there's no feeling beyond uncanny compulsion
I just don't find him sexually attractive
searching for "Trump Towered" and finding no instances and feeling ashamed for both of us that we have yet to write any such regrets
A member of the Electoral College representing Texas, Art Sisneros, wrote on Saturday that he will resign as an elector because he refuses to cast a vote for Donald Trump
Jesse Franklin Heiman
taking your baby by the ears and playing upon her darkest fears
eating a KILO of MEROVINGIANS
eating a pound of franks
Hulapedia dot com
Rough Cyber Monday
giving up editing Hulkapedia dot com and branching out into Hulkworld dot wikia dot com
Paul Nuttall is angry with mainstream politicians who think they have a monopoly on "truth"
Cyber Monday
Hulkaleaks dot com
Hulkapedophilia dot com
The trademarks include Hulk Hogan, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, Hulkster, Hogan Knows Grillin, Hulkamania dot com, and Hulkapedia dot com
Hulkamania
How to Fuck Forty Four Humans
Haboob Anakin
How to Cook For Forty Humans
a thoughtless frightened search for the children yet unborn
For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own, for the children, and the children yet unborn
Emperor Norton is claimed by several defunct civil rights groups to have been destined to return to the USA when the unity of the Republic is at its nadir
Madam Montour
Oh Annie, Slagpile Annie, my little pile of slag
catoptromancy
Slag Pile Annie
Boobs v Barney
Booty v Barnaby
that's Mr Shittypants to you
the "personification of the fear of using a dark bathroom late at night"
we'd have to pay a bumper pounds ten to hear you play bread pest S&M anthem 'All Star'
we'd have to pay a bumper pounds ten thousand to hear you play sex pest S&B anthem 'Thong Song'
REGRETS ABOUT FULECO AWARENESS
regrets about Kony awareness
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see
all the cocks in the bento box say ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see us screaming crazy things at each other, then never come back putting cocks in Kento's bento box
periodically I check to make sure we're not the subject of a subreddit or something, but I'm not particularly thorough
sometimes they leave comments and I scream at them too
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see us screaming crazy things at each other, then never come back
putting cocks in Kento's bento box
FILMING a VIDEO of SIXTY FOUR HOUSEKEEPERS BUTTERING one another
drawing a picture of eight maids CREAMING one another
drawing a picture of eight maids milking one another
milking also requires at least a milk cow, which is an additional cost
The maids are assumed to be unskilled laborers earning the federal minimum wage
an Arabian baboon
one feather, two geese, three sides of meat, four sheep, five cows, six oxen, seven dishes, eight ponies, nine banners, ten barrels, eleven goats, twelve men, thirteen hides, fourteen rounds of cheese and fifteen deer
The king sent his lady on the first Yule day, A popingo aye, Wha learns my carol and carries it away
wondering exactly what a lord a leaping is, and why anyone would think that even one of them would be a good gift, let alone thirty of them
Remembering what his dentist told him when he was a child, Kaufman suggested bringing in the Ark of the Covenant into Indiana's tale as the central plot device
Trump Tower becomes 'Dump Tower' on Google Maps
wondering which side the penis cyborgs will choose in the upcoming Hand Job Robot Uprising
at last, a wireless bionic penis that doesn't need three AA batteries
Surgically inserted in the base of the penis through an incision, the one inch metal coil can be turned on by a remote held over the groin, generating a metal field which triggers a current
a fucking Polack WOULD say that
being Irish doesn't make Bono a terrorist
she was killed by terrorists, Bono was there
not until you tell me what happened to the other French hen
fuck marry kill, ten lords a leaping, seven swans a swimming, two French hens
avoision, it's a crime, look it up
fuck marry kill, eight episodes about pony blowing, NINE episodes about pony SUCKING, TEN SEASONS about HORSE FUCKING
fuck marry kill, bustin', buskin', breastgasm
a game show like Family Fued but all the answers are who sent dick pics to whom and how many, Family Dick Pics
a bad girl's dream saving your life
plodding, suicidal sounding renditions of Jingle Bell Rock
street performers who aren't very good but clearly practice a lot
fuck marry kill, F Murray Abraham, Mary Killman, John le Fucker
fuck marry kill, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Bill from Kill Bill
fuck marry kill, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill the Pony
Fingringhoe
Butt Hole Road, won't you come, and wash away the rain, Butt Hole Road, won't you come, won't you come
Shitterton
Butthole Lane
Butt Hole Road
pulling your Pudsey
Pudsey Bear's family made it into a dick pic
Pudsey Bear's penis made it into a family photo
Arsenio KOSHER
Aresenio Hlal
Sex crazed Kim Jong il 'coerced whoever took his fancy into sex and had them executed if they didn't tell him he was unbelievably good in the sack because he was an autocrat and nobody could possibly have stopped him'
#gender crazed Kim Jong il 'ate lion's penis to make him better in the sack'
Sex crazed Kim Jong il 'ate lion's penis to make him better in the sack'
Reports CNN aired porn in Boston may be a hoax
that's a dirty lie
you suck McBain!
I'm not Comic Book Guy, I'm his cousin, Comic Book Gay
drawing a picture of Donald Trump stamping his way back to hell after his real name is guessed correctly
drawing a picture of Donald Trump complaining that he has been brought Denis Lawson but requested Brie Larson
having a threesome with a couple of loafers
Mr Trump's BIGGS Salad
Mr Trump's Wedge Salad
fuck marry kill, a shoe, a pony, a carrot
if you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you
the Rent Is Too Damn High Party
Gdeaf Geldof
the death of Florence Henderson
the Areseniooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hall problem
our social media guys kind of go out and do a little dropping it throughout Trump groups and Trump forums and boy it spread like wildfire
the Mdeafnty Hall prdeafblem
the Monty Hall problem
Kentdeaf Ikeda
Gdeaf Ikeda
Jackie Deaf
wondering if the libations of condoms continue into the Special Olympics
The Story of Deaf
Deaf Henry
the Deaflympics
LGBTQ Visitors from the Fabulous Land of Oz
hypnagogic jerks
Queer Visitors from the Marvelous Land of Oz
imagining fierce and bloody wars for possession of prairies, then going home and jerking off to your manuscript about a little girl who returns from a magical land where she could rule to be a teetotal evangelizing dirt farmer
The Whites, by law of conquest, by justice of civilization, are masters of the American continent, and the best safety of the frontier settlements will be secured by the total annihilation of the few remaining Indians
Orko states that what make him happy on Christmas is presents
Adam states that "Though we celebrate it and get presents, Christmas is about caring, sharing and goodwill and its spirit is within all of us"
of course
Kento's butt
wondering what Chris is going to craft when he finishes mining Kento's butt
disinterring Orville Wright's corspe and violating the natural order of it to violate him like he violated the natural order
disinterring Orville Redenbacher's corspe, partially drying it, sealing it in some type of resin, then popping it like popcorn in order to violate him like he violated young kernels
being slain by a Vapor Dog
coming to accept that hating sand is a perfectly rational condition for anybody who has ever watched Dune, watched the Dune miniseries, read any Dune books, or had to read about Dune reboots or have conversations with Dune fans about Dune
Sand Trucks and Vapor Dogs Guard Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
tainted helipads
landing strips
the minute you wanked in the joint
creating a script that just prints CHARMING twice and terminates
vaporwave
attending benefits for various diseases
Darkly Barking Dexter
the Barking serial killer
there's no need to feel down
the bodies of two young men were found in the same east London churchyard by the same woman walking her dog
No matter where I hang it, the tree leans waaaaaay over to the far right
what really ruined porn for you being the day you started
that's the reference
I think Kento's mom is white
Pro Brexit protest outside Parliament scaled down after thousands fail to turn up
wanting to make Kento a white mom pie for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a white clam pie for his birthday
James Cromwell whenever you read the word 'babe'
struggling to remember what alt used to be, thinking it was that thing where people put coins in their earlobes, unless that was scene, but then what alt could have been eluding you entirely
alt clams
feels bad clam
Pepe invented the "white clam pie"
bottoming for Elijah Wood in Anal Fantasy XV
"Final Fantasy XV" With Elijah Wood
guessing that the last Eddie Murphy release you actually saw was The Nutty Professor
The flat rate percentage for a detective agency is XII%
like, there would be a scene where Rasputia goes into the ladies' room and a thousand pound women enters the stalls on each side of her and then they start pumping out gallons of diarrhea and then you here a single quiet plop sound from Rasputia's stall
feeling like Fatworld Norbit would feature Eddie Murphy trimming his five foot nine frame to a skeletal eighty pounds and dressing as a woman who deliver lots of jokes about how skinny women don't shit much
eating quizza with Sisqo and Shaq in Qatar
what really ruined porn for you being the day you started thinking of James Cromwell whenever you read the word 'babe'
quizza
bottoming for Rammed McAnally in Where The Streets Are Two Way VII
the Ranally city rating system
Chicago style stuffed pizza
Pokemon Big Butts, Sadistic Relationships and Sexual Idiocy
wondering what Norbit was like in Fatworld
my girl likes to party all the time
I can prove it
you got me, I'm not a racist British deadbeat at all, I'm Eddie Murphy
an often awful parade of flatulent gags about big butts, sadistic relationships and sexual idiocy
Eddie Murphy's comic skills are immense
cherry picking Kento's slippery slope and ending up cum hoc
having a furious furtive fallacy in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
the furtive fallacy
crashing a minivan into Minoan concrete on Crete
MAXOAN BARBARITY
Minoan civilization
the Butts effect
the Butz effect
the Buzz effect
taking the densest dump
being certain that Buzz Aldrin had died and pretty sure that Michael Collins had too
determining the mol of the hugest dump
taking the hardest dump
confusing the Moh's hardness scale with the Bristol stool scale
spathic cleavage
Alison Petril
ba dum tsssh
she certainly has amazing cleavage
wondering if Alison Brie will be in Rogue One as the sister of the famous Rebel pilot, Wedge
Kristiania
wondering where anyone would find a cigar cutter big enough to fit Henrik Ibsen
in a doll's house
wondering where anyone would find a cigar cutter big enough to fit Myke Hawke
putting Myke Hawke in a cigar cutter
you know like thirteen years after you put it in the cigar cutter
giving your cigar a bar mitzvah
putting my penis in a cigar cutter
putting your penis in a cigar cutter
and they don't stop coming
Ben Stiller, I hardly know 'er
Snoop Dogg Reacts To Kanye West's Rants
hey guys, remember curly fries
turkeys no longer have twizzlers
turkeys have beaks, not bills
Turkey has withdrawn a controversial bill which would have pardoned men convicted of child rape, if they married the victim
Cheesoid
having long posited the hypothesis that, given a sentence in which the word 'rape' is already present, you would not know what to do, and now having proven the theory
cacao rap, eh
carapace ho
a rape coach
Ben Stiller, always making us laugh
Ben Stiller Reveals Prostate Cancer Battle Colon 'It Came Out of the Blue'
Ben Stiller Opens Up About His Prostate Cancer Diagnosis
Being fingerbanged for journalism is a very strange experience, you don't want it to become a normal one
Being fingerprinted for journalism is a very strange experience, you don't want it to become a normal one
Donald Trump Fries 'Many People' Says He Wants to Deep Throat Stephen Fry
Donald Trump Says 'Many People' Want to Deep Throat Stephen Fry
getting out of a social engagement by claiming to have veganismic sudden bovine enchiladas
getting out of a social engagement by claiming to have sudden bovine enchiladas
Maggiano's donates $lOK to Anti Defamation League after hosting 'alt right' dinner
petitioning the government to rename shallots minions
for you I'd wait forever, nobody does it better
getting your first real sixty nine, in the dumpster behind the five and dime
you can't have a US President, anymore than any other President suggesting to us whom we should appoint as our ambassador in the capital of the country concerned because the first duty of any ambassador is to his or her country to his or her own national
Five police officers go on trial accused of misusing police helicopter to film people having sex
HOOVER PYRAMIDS
Dyson spheres
Donald Trump Says 'Enema Polyp' Want Nigel Farage to Become Britain's Ambassador to the US
Donald Trump Says 'Many People' Want Nigel Farage to Become Britain's Ambassador to the US
The childcatcher, in an attempt to lure out the children from the basement, calls out that he is giving away free quaaludes
The childcatcher, in an attempt to lure out the children from the basement, calls out that he is giving away free sweets
treacle tree tart
The history of flan begins with the ancient Romans
treacle tart
cc penisflan
cc peniston
flan
downgrading AA Milne to A Milne, then BBB Milne in the wake of Brexit
dwelling on a picture of Stephen Fry deep throating deep fried hot cheese fish sausages
wanking on things
dwelling on things
wanking to a picture of Stephen Fry deep throating deep fried hot cheese fish sausages
one does not simply wank to deepthroat Stephen Fry
Hot Cheese Fish Sausages
People from East Rape Cells, Arabia
People from Special Areas, Alberta
kd lang more like kd lebensraum
kd lang
having never really thought about ee cummings other than to be put off by the pretentiousness of styling yourself professionally in lowercase, and now having been to what you're pretty sure is a white supremacist website while googling that asshole
a kike is the most dangerous machine as yet invented
nobody WANKS to deepthroat Stephen Fry
bottoming for AA Milt and ee cumshots in I don't know, some joke about literature I'm too lazy to think of, I guess VII
A Kalispell resident reported that the fireworks in their butt seem louder than the fireworks in other butts
Reportedly, a drunken man shot a firework "out of his butt" in the direction of children who were sitting on a dock in Lakeside
A Kalispell resident reported that objects close to him appear larger than objects further away
A Kalispell resident reported that the fireworks in their neighborhood seem louder than the fireworks in other neighborhoods
A Texan chihuahua that goes by the name "Amigo" was spotted today in the Columbia Falls area
A large dog that was "shaped like a shepherd" was spotted on Dun Movin Lane
A local boy lied to his parents about his homework
A Helena Flats Road resident reported that someone, and he thinks he knows who, "dumped" on his vehicle and broke some fishing poles
A Whitefish resident reported that someone is making fun of them for a typo they made on Craigslist
Upon further investigation, it appears the man going through mailboxes in Whitefish was the mailman
A man was seen going through mailboxes in Whitefish
Some locals thought it was suspicious
A very tall man was sitting at a picnic table in Marion
A Bigfork resident called to tell law enforcement that he had sent them a fax
A Kalispell man reported that he met a girl on a dating site and now she's asking for money after sending some photos of herself
A swan was apparently causing traffic problems along Whitefish Stage Road
Seven horses and two dogs were allegedly parading down Whitefish Stage Road
an attempt to blend elements from Star Trek and TJ Hooker
the kids have to learn about Tek War sooner or later
the Shatnerverse
JSON jeans
JNCO jeans
scuttling Kento to deny him to the walrus
"Japan Moby Pose" would have involved the crew hunting a very boring dance musician though Tokyo
renting that whole thing of smashed crabs and puking in the bucket
you don't buy smashed crabs, you only rent them
"Space Moby Dick" would have involved the crew hunting a space borne deadly monster through the galaxy
Star Trek Colon Lions of the Night
the Newtsuit
the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Zimbabwe's security forces are violently cracking down on activists ahead of a major protest against the government's plan to introduce a new pseudo currency to the country's fragile economy
that you can apparently get a plain cheese pizza for seven hundred trillion Zimbabwean dollars in Zimbabwe
they're taking the hobbits to Disneyland
riding a segway to Mordor
riding a segway to heaven
pizza's come to Zimbabwe
drawing a picture of Sisqo being Queen's Towered by John De Lancie and a quagga while Desmond Llewelyn watches from a quince tree and masturbates
drawing a picture of Q showing Data his fully functional Qness
drawing a picture of Shaq and Sisqo braiding their q's together
wanting to buy Kento a bucket of smashed crabs for his birthday
wanting to buy Kento a crab ladder to heaven for his birthday
wanting to buy Kento a stairway to heaven for his birthday
you lawful, lawful good
getting Sisqo soda on a sock
getting siq on Shack soda
getting sick on Shaq soda
Gondor has no shah, Gondor needs no shah
insulting Tookishness
Ontario is poised to become a testing ground for ACIDIC income, eh
Ontario is poised to become a testing ground for basic income, eh
meze's back on the menu, boys!
they're taking the hobbits to Israel
poopin makes me feel good
What really yanks my chain about "Spy Kids Colon All The Time In The World" I don't see why Reagan wasn't impeached over Iran Contra
What really pushes my buttons about "Fantasia" I don't know how it explains cocaine use among circus performers in the late nineteenth century
What really grinds my gears about "Blade Runner" I don't know where it fits in the Indiana Jones timeline
My chief beef about "Black Swan" I don't know how it relates to the immigrant experience
Poopman Paff
five alarm poopin'
Chief Beef
But as he and his friends deal with substitute teachers, new aliens, more robots, vegan food, braces, final exams, and more middle school awkwardness, will Roan be able to stay the path of the Jedi
false alarm
I'M POOPIN
i'm poopin
Crebain from Lebanon!
one does not simply walk into Jordan poopin'
one does not simply walk into Jordan
poopin'
Star Wars Colon Jedi Academy Colon The Phantom Bully
swing me, shake me, move me, make me
Volapuk
swinging, shaking, moving, making
BEING that VOID thing of GARRY and puking in bed
eating that hole thing of Gary and puking in bed
eating that whole thing of Gary and puking in bed
Call it Gary or something just don't call it cheese because it's not cheese!
there's everything wrong with vegan cheese
wanting to change every reference to Middle East in someone's website to Middle Earth
there's nothing wrong with vegan cheese
you awful, awful swan
I hope it's vegan cheese
I'm just eating cheese now
wanting to make Kento a curried chicken and mushroom pate with fig and cinnamon syrup sandwich for his birthday
wondering whether there's a more random assortment of late night snacks than pieces of curried chicken, a slice of mushroom pate and a spoonful of fig and cinnamon syrup
Talents for low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity, may alone suffice to elevate a man to the first honors in a single State
the McCollough effect
going down, down, down, if that's the only way
Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution
I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it
making mints out of emu semen for your own amusement
I certainly hope someone stabs you in the eye
you awful, awful man
seeing pal rape pic on a social media profile and trying to open the attachment
seeing a paperclip on a social media profile and trying to open the attachment
introducing five mice to Kento
wanting to treat Kento to Five Guys for his birthday
I was going to introduce him to a mouse but OK
wanting to have sex with Kento on his birthday is basically what we're saying
wanting to give Kento a Big Willie for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Steamboat Willie for his birthday
Since the cutmarked bones were tooth marked and there were no carcasses or disarticulation of any leftovers, the evidence pointed at the idea of Homo being a scavenger
Japan US Relations
Steamboat Willie
bongo flava
that you can apparently get a pizza thap cam cao cap for one hundred and nine thousand dongs in Vietnam
Oregon Colon The West Coast's Florida
An Oregon man who died in a Yellowstone National Park hot spring and dissolved when he fell into the boiling, acidic water, was looking to soak in the water, park officials said in a report
Vampire Colon The Masquerade Colon Bloodlines
burning your dong on pizza
rolling vegan pizza
rolling need
burning your tongue on vegan pizza
burning your tongue on pizza
the Rathlin Island Massacre
Pokemon Feces Eating and Glory Holes
a moody man child who rages and pouts with bratty indignation when the Pittsburgh acting community doesn't rush to fill roles in his debut because it contains elements like feces eating and glory holes
smashing up that mouth, slathering that donkey sauce, with no witnesses
if I only could, I'd make a deal with god, and get him to smash our mouths
Fiewell
Smouth
Smash Mouth
Milk Mouth, if you know what I mean
Chocolate Mouth
Milk Mouth
mouton medal, eh
Lemonade Mouth
Dick Dad culture
apologizing on behalf of cunts
Dong Son culture
I'm sorry
aroused cunts
aroused grunts
annoyed grunts
''tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English
d'oh
bluh
we've already added all the one word expressions of confounded frustration
what has
that's thrown you for a loop
you weren't kidding about being into butt stuff, you weirdo
she poops from there
that's disgusting, you're disgusting
The writers felt that by having the adults refuse to believe Big Bird despite the fact that he was telling the truth, they were scaring children into thinking that their parents would not believe them if they had been sexually abused
Batbin
into the garbage chute, flyboy
Stutch
Jeester
Kelan
Kenstopher
Biffleupagus
Burnie
Lacumoe
Bulou
Stoliver
Nayden
Carrie Fisher insists colon I never said Harrison Ford Eiffel Towered me with a walrus
wondering how anyone was able to feel anything at all given the epic amounts of alcohol and cocaine that must have preceded those couplings
Carrie Fisher insists colon I never said Harrison Ford was bad in bed
buying that little bag of jellybeans to cheer yourself up and eating the jellybeans and not really cheering up and now not having any jellybeans either
David Barber, I hardly know 'er
taking your shoes off and pouring champagne in them
taking your shoes off and throwing them in the lake
getting a new follower with an avatar which is a stock photo of a woman with shopping bags and the words "I am Rich, I can buy anything" superimposed over it, and thinking yeah, it's alright for you pal, you're a bot, this world was made for you
spending your life feeling like you need to apologize
human young are born with the ability to count Valentines amongst these clouds of dust
human young are born with the ability to count Valentines
amongst these clouds of dust
Pokemon Incompetent and Senile
The State Department confirms that, like the Pentagon and the Justice Department, it has not heard from anyone on President elect Trump's team, a week after the election
a barber specifically and solely for people named Ali
a barber specifically and solely for people named David
that's the dumbest joke I've ever made
oh no, who will cut their hair
David Barber has now resigned, according to the Shelby County Mayor's Office
Kushner is Trump's very own Grima Wormtongue
China websites block searches for 'Fatty Kim the Third'
Revealed Colon The Great Barrier Reef, Eiffel Tower and Sydney Opera House are Brits' favourite landmarks to wake up to
a smart mouthed kid who is incredibly oriental, so much to the point that he is ball shaped with small, stubby legs
separating the beef from the stew at a PETA convention
A reddish, and perhaps medium sized, dog from Colima
decoupling the men from the boys at a Boyz ii Men concert
decoupling the men from the boys at a NAMBLA convention
Carrison
Lookwell
refusing to allow Bacon to be a part of his fur trade with the Native Americans
a smart mouthed dog who is incredibly obese, so much to the point that he is ball shaped with small, stubby legs
A fat, and perhaps fattened, dog from Colima
Welsh Indians
wondering whether Karl Urban's overseer is referred to as Domurban
wondering whether Karl Urban's understudy is referred to as Suburban
Onanism
Utanism
Orangism
that technically speaking Swanald Trump is a swan
chanterelle
chaparral
the permanent campaign as waged by triumphalist rabble rousers and demagogues, abetted by people out of their depth and unfit for the jobs they will hold, gripped by grievance, resentment and lurking insecurity
that technically speaking Donald Trump is a man
sclerophyllous scrubland
that technically speaking Michelle Obama is an ape
bragging about achieving political office in West Virginia
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as a "lean penis, eh"
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as an "inhales pee"
confusing Frank Gaffney with Dean Gaffney
the hole's only natural enemy is the pile
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as an "ape in heels"
vanuigi
trukario
karoshi
yardage
and I do mean footage
topping for James Avery in Uncle Fill VII then they reused the footage in Big Willie Style VII and didn't pay you
Uncle Fill
RIP James Avery
not pulling out of Uncle Phil
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
The Las Vegas culture is important because it was one of the earliest cultures in South America to practice agriculture banging Uncle Phil, Big Willie style
The Las Vegas culture is important because it was one of the earliest cultures in South America to practice agriculture
banging Uncle Phil, Big Willie style
punta music
banging Uncle Phil
scamming Carlton Banks
scamming banks
skanking bangs
banging skanks
sydney fruit leathers
things that don't come out right
she, two, three, oven
brie au four
being shocked that Richard Branson is still alive
baked brie
wanting to give Kento an assgay for his birthday
Richard Branson reveals prototype for supersonic passenger aircraft, apparently having realised commercial orbital passenger transit is never going to be economical
spitting in your own mouth
being in a four way with those seven and two thirds short tons of women
being in a four way with those three guys from System of a Down
wanting to give Kento a throatgay for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a nosegay for his birthday
being in a four way with those three guys with Down syndrome
Rabbi Bagel Rosenstein
Mo Cheeks
Pokemon Jammu and Kashmir
Cheeksville
Tittytown
Gooch City
Now we have just learnt, thanks to the British media, that we had Africa's most famous lion all along, an icon!
Poonch District
the Lewd Jock's Bra Test
the World's Best Jacket
giving Drench Vibe a bad Amazon rating
what you did to that medium sized reddish kid on the steps in Drench Vibe
what you did to that medium sized reddish dog on the steps in Bench Drive
dat cumberland gap
melungeons
what you did to that hobo in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
medium sized reddish Brian Peppers
medium sized reddish chili peppers
I don't ever want to feeeeeeel, like I did that day
what you did to that homo under the bridge
The Apprentice Colon Who Wants to Be President
Trump to announce executive order allowing random person to assume the office of president
There is no loophole that allows a random person to assume the office of president
nicknaming your vagina "the fig newton"
making fig newtons
nicknaming your penis "The Tangerine Knight"
The Tangerine Knight
sin signalling
watching the laser induced plasma channel
virtue signalling
Kim Kardashian Warned She Could Bleed To Death If She Has A Third Pregnancy
Donald Trump and Nigel Farage meet, fuse into single entity upon shaking hands
faggot voters
#insultingtrumpishness
#insultingturkishness
Trump also objected to the fact that she ate two whole turkeys just prior to the election day weigh in
it came down to whether the Constitutionally mandated "weight of the body of upwards of a half tonne" for female Presidents referred to a short ton or a long ton
wondering how the election went over in Fatworld
wondering if there even is a constitutional method for determining the presidency if the president elect and vice president refuse to be sworn in at all
Colestein Veglin
live and learn
feeling like we could have saved a lot of people a lot of pain if that talk had taken place a year ago
During their private White House meeting on Thursday, Mr Obama walked his successor through the duties of running the country, and Mr Trump seemed surprised by the scope, said people familiar with the meeting
the one with Dennis Rodman
the one where Joey gets fired from the popular daytime drama "Our Glorious Leader Will Crush Western Imperialism" for questioning the divinity of Kim Jong un
the one where Carol's lesbianism is denounced as Western bourgeois decadence and she is summarily executed
the one where Rachel dumps Ross because, in comparison to the unearthly virility and unparalleled charisma of the Great Leader, he appears no more than a frail, emasculated eunuch
the one with Excellent Horse Like Rachel
the one where Gunther denounces Ross to the Ministry of State Security
the one where the gang waits in line for seven hours at Central Perk for their daily ration half a cup of rice each
the one where Joey and Chandler get free Manbang and then they are both executed for being counterrevolutionaries
it's like you're always stuck in second gear, unlike the glorious people's most excellent revolution which continues to accelerate every year
Kim Il sung warned that there'd be days like this, but he did not warn you, Imperialist backslider
you're still in bed at ten and work began at eight, you will be executed, enemy of the state
J#U#C#H#E#
Pyonghattan
fuck date kill, Earthlink, a straight guy, Sylvia Browne
Michael Jordan Colon Chaos in the Windy City
fuck marry kill, Taylor Hanson, Zac Hanson, Isaac Hanson
that you'll be drafted into an army to fight utterly pointless wars of either aggression or defence but hey, at least you'll get back into shape and do a bit of traveling
recognizing that we are all going to perish in nuclear fire before next year is out or be shipped off to camps or invaded by what is undoubtedly now Fascist Russia or whatever, but always trying to find a silver lining, such as a bit of peace and quiet
kind of enjoying the brief silence from the Bernie supporters on social media after they realized that no, the election would not change outcomes and no, the prince electors would not alter the vote after the fact and no, there would be no do overs
look, we're a hundred and twenty thousand regrets in, they can't all be golden any more
I think I was combining the "life in plastic, it's fantastic" line with the seagulls are attracted to both Bernie Sanders and plastic, and maybe I added the vultures because he's so close to death
truly a regret for this week of all weeks
I'm not sure I do either
I do not understand that reference
drawing a picture of Bernie Sanders undressing a Barbie doll while a mixed flock of seagulls and vultures circles overhead
Barbie is a party girl who lives in a party world
Milhouse is a boy who lives in Shelbyville
he can't handle a big sock
Jimmy Fallon, if you're reading this, feel free to use that joke
must be a small sock
Donald Trump gets penis lodged in sock
Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black
Pitchman gets penis lodged in sock
Chick gets tampons lodged in spine
Man gets chopstick lodged in spine
holding out for a gyno 'til the end of the night
Androjet
Gynojet
Gyrojet
Man gets chopstick lodged in penis
don't google it
this is getting a little weird
paying that ant colony to leave you alone with their young for an afternoon, no questions asked
asking that giant dung beetle to peg you
encouraging that bee to sting you on your ballsack
letting that bee Sting you on your colon
letting that bee sting you on your ballsack
Paris really has suffered so much
sounds painful
Paris attacks Colon Bataclan to reopen with Sting concert
Seal's tin cock
seal's cock tin
classic Kento
Kento freaks larvae
drinking mead wine to celebrate successfully robbing another Japanese bank with Edwin Lutyens
a kestrel for a knave
having the hugest colon
bottoming for Greg Colon in Biggest Colon in NBA History VII
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered colon as the biggest colon in NBA history'
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest beak in NBA history' #gander
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history' #gender
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history'
Ministers are concerned that despite large differences in the quality of novels, they all seem to cost the same
They broke it, America bought it
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Alfred Hitchcock and Jonathan Livingston Seagull while you're high on plastic fumes
the curious cans of WHO HASH
taking the last can of WHO HASHN'T
taking the last can of WHO HASH
Troodon Frank Lloyd Dat
something something Roman Polanski something SUNY Purchase something Julianna Rose Mauriello asleep under the tree something Nutcracker something Christmas
Hip Hop Kids Colon Hip Hop Homeroom Math
Always singing, she appeared as a child in Party Scene of The Nutcracker at SUNY Purchase, asleep under the Christmas tree
a new cartoon from Seth MacFarlane
Part Time President, coming spring twenty seventeen on FOX
Trump "is talking with his advisers about how many nights a week he will spend in the White House"
being filled with disgusting snot
Fallout IV Macho Claws
Skyrim "Macho Man" Randy Savage Dragon Mod
Skyrim Thomas the Tank Engine Mod HD
Twelve Inch Frank Lloyd Wright
the bears are who we thought they were
We have just begun to consider ways of building dialogue with the future Donald Trump administration and channels we will be using for those purposes
doing diddly poo offensively
jimmoraplayoffs dot com
it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake in lazy town
Apollo sees through the crow's lie and throws the crow, goblet, and snake into the sky
wondering whether they give out EhDs in Canada
Cylon Frank Lloyd Wright
the death of Robert Vaughn, PhD
it's impossible to wear a frown in candy town
a truculent chinese meal
a succulent chinese meal
Ndabaningi Sithole
the death of Leonard Cohen
Greco Buddhism
lottery in June, corn be heavy soon
Salian Beans
Discus Stu has ouzo for two zo
Ripuarian Franks
The Libertarian Party, in its infinite wisdom, used this year, when millions of Americans were looking for an alternative, to field a candidate who couldn't name a single foreign leader and who seemed like he was, well, stoned, half the time
the Chinese sexagenary cycle
Bamboo Annals
Pokemon Tigris and Euphrates
Oriental alabaster
can I put a fifteen pound bowling ball up my butt
He then dryly remarks that if McCoy's engrams were impressed in a computer, the resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining
Werewolf Colon The Beast Among Us
eastern ass growls
that unlike other Australian owls, eastern grass owls nest on the ground among vegetation
"She is gregarious and has tons of ho," a source tells the outlet
"She is gorgeous and has tons of hair," a source tells the outlet
oo oo oo
you've taken me for granted because I please you
They shared a meal of salmon, roasted carrots and vegan pizza
Birds can be drawn to the scent of plastic
No Bollock S Club VII
No Pollack S Club VII
eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes
Gino Ginelli
the first time Trump picked up a golf club, he shot a man on Fifth Avenue just to watch him die
According to his official biography, all of his operas are "better than any in the history of music"
the first time Trump picked up a golf club, he shot a thirty eight under par round on North Korea's only golf course, including eleven holes in one
I resent the notion that Donald Trump's health is anything less than the most positive of anyone in America #MAGA
play ball is excellent way get head injury
that chance gets much higher depending on whether he plays ball with Putin
the rather encouraging knowledge that according to SSA dot gov a man of Donald Trump's age has a baseline chance of slightly under one in ten of just dropping dead in the next four years
Democrat incumbent Blaine Eaton won reelection over Republican Mark Tullos by drawing the long straw
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Natalie Portman to want to bang you, and you probably always were
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Stephanie from Lazytown to want to bang you
Abe not visiting the shrine prompted a Japanese nationalist named Yoshihiro Tanjo to cut off his own little finger in protest and mail it to the LDP
RIGGED
Donald Trump's team has removed the statement on his website to ban all Muslims from the US
Wikileaks, which released troves of Clinton emails and Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson
drawing a picture of Donald Trump rubbing Shaquille O'Neal until his wish came true three times
DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies
We need to be elevating the Pied Piper candidates so that they are leaders of the pack and tell the press to take them seriously
David Duke Thanks Julian Assange for Trump Victory
that on the bright side, Trump doesn't exactly look after his health and is in the danger zone for all kinds of sudden death age related diseases
Gino Bartali
lying to a blind child
When a young boy asked Trump if he was Batman last year, the Republican frontrunner answered in the affirmative
President Trump names Kevin McCallister new head of Homeland Security
a series of incremental time travellers each plucked from mere moments in time before the other, creating divergent futures but leaving the past unaltered until they arrive, en masse, and vote for their chosen political candidate
either that or some kind of genie thing
seeing a meme showing a physical resemblance to Biff Tannen and wondering whether there was actually some kind of thing like that going on, like he went back in time and gave a copy of "New York Real Estate Trends of the Twentieth Century" to his grandfat
Jeri Ryan Seven of Nine's Breast Expansion Star Trek Voyager
it's nineteen eighty four
oh wait, it's not nineteen eighty eight
wondering how Hillary could have possibly lost when she had Madonna AND Bon Jovi on her side
Republican Donald Trump has been elected the forty fifth president of the United States, according to the New York Times and Associated Press, who called the election in the early hours of the morning on Wednesday
Brexit Origins Colon Toblerone
that you know little and care nothing about her politics, but Tammy Duckworth is the worst name for a human being ever
It's so great our enemies are making themselves clear so that when we get in to the White House, we know where we stand
Pokemon Gary Stoner and Jill Homeopath
Pokemon Gyna and Chee na
people's refucking of Chee na
I'm president of the Italian American Anti Defamation League, and this really burns my cannoli
First results come in Dixville Notch
Dixville Notch
wanting to give Kento a seriously, what the hell damn guy for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Rotten Toblerone for his birthday
saying "no no, you don't understand, it's just Toblerone"
brauning your scanties in the middle of a big date
being scared to google the sexual uses of Toblerone
feeling like you're THIS close to uncovered the sinister global conspiracy linking the Toblerone crisis, the Trump campaign, Brexit, and the sale of Eva Braun's scanties
The Toblerone line is a ten km long defensive line made of dragon's teeth that was built during the second World War between Bassins and Prangins, in the Canton of Vaud, Switzerland
#tobleremain
#toblerone #enemiesofthepeople
all the people swearing off ever buying Toblerone again because it looks ridiculous, even though it's the same shitty chocolate as ever and you'll be able to get the old design if you, you know, go abroad ever
all this election coverage clogging up your news feed and keeping you from getting important Toblerone updates
Andrew Wakefield, the debunked fraud behind the global vaccine autism panic, endorses Trump after private meeting
Guido Fawkes doesn't seem to realise that third party ads are usually tailored to the reader's own browsing history
actually enjoying cumming to the oriignal version of the Cooking By the Book song
we can make it if we try
I guess that if they were the chances that Trump would have snatched them up is near one hundred percent
wondering if they were the knickers she was wearing when she died
coming to actually enjoy the oriignal version of the Cooking By the Book song
#foolbritannia
It is the antithesis of respect for the dignity of the human person to use a dead child as a political prop to lobby for your presidential candidate the day before an election
See Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
Those sickened had all eaten at ten different restaurants in the area, but local health officials couldn't find a common food that may have caused their illness
Toblerexit
Toblerone is facing a mountain of criticism for changing the shape of its famous triangular candy bars in British stores, a move it blames on rising costs
You gave up the fun of eating potato chips, looking for the big ones, the small ones, the ones shaped liked Elvis
Fredric Baur dreamed up the original Pringles can
The lady LICKS Pringles when she gets really hungry
OVERCOVER STEWART COPELAND ABDUCTS OREGON GRANDMOTHER RENTING ESCABECHE ACROSS MYSPACE COMMUNITY
Undercover sting nabs California mother selling ceviche through Facebook group
licking the inside of a Pringles can
a dungeon moniker
monkeeing around
being too busy singing to put your dog down
being too busy singing to put anybody down
I don't think they're massive on the internet over there so I don't think they had many opportunities to research
being tired of monkeying around
Grab Them By The Pu$Sy
gripping them by the nuts
girl nut grippers
squirrel nut zippers
necco wafers
Coco Pops received two stars out of five on the Australian Government's health star ratings
Coco Crisp
Along the way, they begin to wonder if anyone really realizes the significance of the Pope's visit as they encounter shady characters who are exploiting the Pope's image to make a fast buck
Looks like a couple of punks are gonna be taking the last train to Clarksville
That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat
the setup is familiar for some reason
My name is Helen, and I live with these four rock stars in a house you're just never gonna believe
When Marty takes a nap on the copy machine, numerous duplicate Martys are set loose in the mansion
CHARMANDER used TORCH FLESH AND BONES!
It did go deep, and it did cut through the bone, so it IS dangerous
Pokemon Torch Flesh and Bones
Plasma Torch Flesh and Bones
teachers, leave them dogs alone!
releasing the hounds
A Michigan man who suspected neighborhood canines of destroying his Donald Trump lawn signs was arrested Saturday night after he held the hounds at gunpoint until police responded
A Michigan man who suspected neighborhood children of destroying his Donald Trump lawn signs was arrested Saturday night after he held the youths at gunpoint until police responded
Leaked reports claim that Trump will be allowed back on Twitter as soon as he cleans his room and finishes his geometry homework
Donald Trump's own aides have banned him from Twitter, report says
making way for what turned out to be a kid ambulance the other day and being none too pleased about it
making way for what turned out to be a dog ambulance the other day and being none too pleased about it
you and your clitoris
the Harrisonfor Shavers
the Markham Waxers
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the vegan cream you ate like two hours ago, if you know what I mean
wondering how many crazy cat ladies think that the only way to provide for the medical needs of their "children" is to personally build a hospital for them, instead of, you know, looking for an existing vet
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the cream you ate like two hours ago, if you know what I mean
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the cream you ate like two hours ago
My first reaction's a baseball bat, but I know I'm not to take that in my own hands
creating a modern democracy that explicitly rejects monarchy in all its forms by creating an electoral college explicitly resembling that used to elect Holy Roman Emperors since the twelve hundreds
DIDO electors
faithless electors
dragging the Gummi Bears down to the juicing room at once
The Gummis are nearly out of Gummiberry juice so Grammi needs to make more, but the spigot is stuck so Zummi, Grammi, Cubbi, and Cavin go to the stumping pation, I mean pumping station, to fix the problem
the camel from Doctor Snuggles being one of the most soul harrowing, utterly terrifying things you have ever seen
Granny Toots is in dire need of a new hospital for her cats, but isn't able to since she doesn't have enough money to do so, so the Doctor has a plan colon he enters a balloon race where he can win M pounds
that green I am not
The Treacle Tree talks Doctor Snuggles into building it wings
I am not that old
imagining Palpatine screaming "YOU AND YOUR TRADITIONS!" at Yoda as he blasts him with force lightning whilst arguing over the times in which it is appropriate to rub your nose against your partner's clitoris
spontoons
you and your traditions
the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris
We are not only looking to root out those who engage in the trafficking of minors, but through our Office for Victim Assistance, we offer a lifeline to minors to help them escape from a virtual prison no person ever deserves
this ham gum is all bones
wanting to force Kento through a fine mesh screen for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an actual shit sandwich with a moist maker for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an actual shit sandwich for his birthday
making America moist again
wondering if the libations of condoms continue into the Paralympics
turning up over an hour early for the fireworks
Bonin' at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics
San Antonio Cop Fired For Giving Homeless Person An Actual Shit Sandwich
wanting to make Kento DAMP for his birthday
wanting to make Kento moist for his birthday
the Leftovers State
the Simpsons are going to Delaware
having impure thoughts about a teenage moist maker
wanting to make Kento a Bobbie sandwich for his birthday but forgetting the moist maker
having literally never heard of the Bobbie before just now, though the concept of a sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers seems so basic that anyone attempting to give it a signature name seems arrogant at best and pathetic at worst
Delaware's signature Bobbie sandwich could have been the 'Winona'
crossing the Um Bongo
you've got to be Shittim me
crossing the Jordan
crossing the Delaware
crossing the Rubicon
While he did some shopping in London, he largely did so within the confines of the Paralympic Village because of self consciousness about only speaking French
The act of an American boy ejaculating onto a British girl's vagina, also known as 'yanking on her harbour'
Ashera
your choice of spoon
I owe you one hug
something something Jerry Sandusky something joins ISIS something Bryan Singer something something rhymic ratatata tat sounds something I fucking hate this world
ISIS seizing boys as young as nine to fight in Mosul, UN warns
being unnaptised
naptime
waking up feeling uncomfortably hot and staying awake watching absolute garbage on YouTube for five hours even though you have to drive somewhere at like ten
Blaster Master Colon Blasting Again
Scaphism
vagintroducing yourself
kind of wanting to write a regret, and then accidentally having it turn into a semiautobiographical rant
kirbyjenner
the VAGINTRODUCTORY king of Scotland
really wishing Hayden Christensen would pocket sand someone on camera just once
wherever I'm staying, you're going away
Beyonce Prepped for Her Bowel Spur Show By Taking the Hugest Dump
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Breeding The Most Magnificent Family Of Owls
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Eating a Bag of Spicy Cheetos, Reading Language Log, and Masturbating to Photos of Her Ex From Five Years Ago
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Eating a Bag of Cheetos, Drinking Five Mountain Dews, And Calling Four Hundred Children Aimbot Cheater Faggots While Playing Call Of Duty
It is characteristic of England that she could not rouse herself to a decision
Chief Wahoo
Old Gutnish
wishing that each wikipedia page had a view count on it, because you really want to know how many people have needed information on, say, "Benin at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics"
building a robot designed solely to sexually pleasure a woman and naming it Bill Clittron Five Thousand and One
slap slap slappin' on heaven's door
Simon says call me Al
the PENULTIMATE king of Scotland
the last king of Scotland
huge hairy nuts bursting with milk
the explosion in pro Trump sites in Veles means the market has now become crowded, making it harder to earn money
The clown incidents in Brazil and worldwide lead to professional clowns protesting in Rio Grande do Sul in late October
A clown who was seen frightening people in the street in Rhyl, who was stopped by police, was revealed to be a wanted man, and a scary clown was also seen in Merthyr
a teenage boy was hospitalized for a cut to his head after a clown threw a log at him in an alleyway in Dinnington, South Yorkshire, near Rotherham
a man in Bardstown mistook a woman wearing a white afghan out walking her dog for a clown and fired a warning shot with an AR fifteen to scare the clown
taking a photograph of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton while Prince Andrew watches from a palm tree and masturbates
wondering what the odds are that, given the crazy shit that inevitably went down at Jeffrey Epstein's island sex orgies, there is at least one genuine photo out there of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton
hand jobbing Peter to pay Paul
robbing Peter Andre to pay pal
robbing Peter to pay Paul
Simon says call me Peter
tick tick tick tick
drawing a picture of the real Kento turning up at the home of bemused podcaster the real Christopher Lydon and pointing to a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus before putting on an impromptu rendition of 'I Want It That Way'
fictionalizing Kento
Vladimir Putin Swipes Right On Steven Seagal
trying to frame a joke in which Putin assembles his A Team of Steven Seagal, Julian Assange, Donald Trump and so on, but not quite having the punchline yet
Vladimir Putin Signs Order Making Steven Seagal a Russian Citizen
Yolo Ikeda
the Kentocaust
wanting to give Kento a Dutch oven for his birthday
antediluvian emission
crepuscular emission
quotidian emission
nocturnal emission
manual emission
bottoming for Maneul Tradicion in Feel His VD Nads VII
manual transmission
it's the most wonderful time of the year
manual tradition
anal tradition
oral tradition
government by Myke Hawke
Myke Hawkestocracy
kakistocracy
dressage and chill
chilling out with your pony in the stableyard
rubbing one out with your crew in the bathroom at church
chilling out with your crew in the schoolyard
Kairo Seijuro
A South Florida man was arrested on Halloween after he was driving naked through a Boynton Beach neighborhood with electrical wires protruding from his penis, police said
Damn Hebrideans! They ruined the Hebrides!
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true, and then the witch doctor he Eiffel Towered me with a walrus, oo ee oo aa aa ting tang and he stole my sandwich oo ee oo aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang
British Banker who tortured two Hong Kong prostitutes to death reveals his extraordinary weightloss after two years on prison food
I have watched with understanding and interest the progress of your great and superhuman work in regenerating your country
creating Grand Mal Auto, the open world sandbox game where you spawn in any on of hundreds of locations in a fully realized three D city and collapse with a seizure, game over
checking out my gravel pit
how ironic it was that nobody wanted to know about Jimmy Ray
your amis
Jack Frost done lost his mind
finding Britney Spears' oeuvre hard to listen to because of the agonal respirations
regrets about Genuwine
completely forgetting Alanis Morisette recorded "You Oughta Know", even though come to think of it you know it's about Dave Coulier
Trump Defeats Hillary in Minnesota High School Mock Vote
finding it really hard to fault Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" other than that it's kind of lame
Hebrideans are an extremely welcoming people, famous for our friendliness, and our doors are always open
pubetots
there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world
tubetops
Michael "Hawk" Hegstrand
Bringing life to a screaming fish
Bringing life to a dried fish
liquorice whip gonna whip your ass
yellow smiley offers me X
wanting to offer to eat a sandwich with Kento down the phone for his birthday but not actually go through with it
eating Kento's sandwich
burglarizing Jewel's bustier
busting Jewel's burgeoning booze budget
King Baby
the straight guy in your straight guy
it breaks the east London bar mould, with hip hop on the stereo, a smartly modish setting, vintage French posters on the wall and some of the best cocktails to be found in Bethnal Green's burgeoning booze scene
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the heroin out of Kento's rectum trope
WIDEMOUTH BLINDCAT's Whiskers
the batteries in your urethra
Satan's Whiskers
the peppers in your pumpkins
the gin in your martini
A Story For KentO
Halomonadaceae
the clams on your linguine
A Story For Ke$ha
The barbs scraped against her rectal walls, tearing out chunks of flesh as the feline pilot extraordinaire withdrew his penis from her virgin ass
going 'wahey'
going away
coming back
Pneumexico
Pokemon Ananias and Sapphira
until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished
planting more than one kind of seed in a field
Waler horses
David Blumpkins
David Pumpkins being less endowed than advertised
bottoming for a super size Pumpkaboo in The Bamboozling Forest! VII
anagignoskomena
regrets about picture blowing
Mr Blow The Picture For Me
When it came out of the ground, she threw a Poke Ball at it and successfully caught it
Pumpkaboo made its debut in The Bamboozling Forest!, where Jessie stripped over a Super Size Pumpkaboo in a forest
Pumpkaboo made its debut in The Bamboozling Forest!, where Jessie tripped over a Super Size Pumpkaboo in a forest
David Pumpkaboos
Pumpkins Will and Smith
Pokemon Pumpkins and Peppers
Pokemon Will and Smith
While mining for ore, Will and Smith witness the arrival of a strange beacon from outer space
drawing a picture of Randy Savage snapping into a slim jim, if you know what I mean
dude please your pay per lick event was a joke
drawing a picture of Macho Man Randy Savage having Hulk Hogan for three minutes of playtime in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
guessing that Hulk Hogan probably has the strength to move both refrigerators and color TVs
wondering which nation will be the first to outlaw billionaires and or declare war on one
where we can try out new things and figure out the effect on society
Explored BDSM in SF w big group of friends tonight
If you're a single digit millionaire like Hulk Hogan, you have no effective access to our legal system
Switzerland possessed the most disgusting and miserable people and political system
giving Samantha Geimer a mud pinkie
Teddy suggest killing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts
Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts
Les Lye would play the part of a Latin American military officer with a sword in hand preparing to order a firing squad to execute one of the children actors, who were standing in front of a post
divesting the hell out of that mink
Once pulled Abraham Lincoln from his pants
Baggin' Saggin' Barry starring Kenan Thompson as a cool dude with baggy pants
sedating Mud Pinkie MVP
pumping a divested mink
meeting David Pumpkins
feeling sorry for Kenan Thompson because the guy has been doing bottomlessly shitty sketch comedy for over twenty years, and a shitty comedian of his age should be focusing exclusively on bottomlessly shitty film
David Spade is reportedly attached to direct
wondering if they'll be able to get the inevitably terrible David Pumpkins movie into theaters by Halloween twenty seventeen or if they'll have to push it back to the holidays or, even worse, the garbage dump that is January
sketches that say 'I'm David Pumpkins' instead of 'I'm David Pumpkins' or just you know giving a number of b boy skeletons to include if it's that important
Fastest Dick sucker in the Northwest
recipes that say 'two cups of chopped onion' instead of 'one chopped onion' or just you know giving a weight of onion to include if it's that important
Fastest Hotdog shooter in the Northwest
someone asking you what your favorite time of the year is and you responding "DICK SUCKIN TIME"
Sir Arthur Only Just Met 'Er
Sir Arthur Quiller Couch
her actions bear no similarities whatsoever to Nixon's criminalization of his presidency, and his efforts to corrupt much of the executive branch
her mouth the mischief he doth seek
finding "having pterosaur sex with agent fiftyseven" in your autofill cache
The Wicker Bra
Suck The Left One In
Titty the Thirteenth
Cleavagefield
The Bare Wench Project
The Witches of Breastwick
House on Hooter Hill
The Hills Have Thighs
The word 'clam' appears to be used by clams themselves though
Both of these characters rely on the premise that it's funny to watch an old man in silly clothes facefuck an overweight Asian man
Both of these characters rely on the premise that it's funny to watch an old man in silly clothes say nonsensical things
only being able to afford David Turnips
David Pumpkins being less amusing than advertised
when you were a kid and you had Hop tu Naa turnips except they were just turnips because your family was too poor to afford pumpkins
bank busting bra budgets
Hop tu Naa
Pterosaur portrayed as spawn of Satan
stealing Jewel's teeth from the communal laundry room
Jewel S A
Joodse Z A
Jew S A
Chatters reconstructed the facial features of the skull with the result that Kennewick Man resembled Patrick Stewart, a Caucasian actor on the television program Star Trek Colon The Next Generation
activity directed towards the success or failure of a political party, candidate for partisan political office, or partisan political group
one wiener, next to another wiener
A lone voice in the crowd started a short lived "Weiner" chant, but few added their voices to his cause
BAD TEETH NO BRA
BAD TEETH NO BAR
it's bad that people get lonely, ain't nothin new
when you're being Eiffel Towered and the moon hits your eye that's amore
when you're being Eiffel Towered and your saliva becomes empowered
when you're being Eiffel Towered and your poop becomes empowered
Fernie Swastikas Captures Zeitgeist, Becomes First Write In Candidate To Be Elected President Of The United States of America
mexicaning your walls in the Build O Wall O
MEXICANing your balls in the Shine O Ball O
polishing your balls in the Shine O Ball O
Butts County now in 'exceptional drought'
an argumentative, perpetually horny middle aged man
the Fernie Swastikas
Dong Energy considers sale of oil and gas assets to focus on windfarms
Nog
polishing your head in the Shine O Ball O
The Official Diarrhea Song
Overcooked Colon The Lost Morsel
the eagle eyed among you will have spotted that there was no need to talk about anuses at all
concealing a pair of lemurs in a purpose built cage within your anus with the approval of your Japanese friend, two aye aye hush hutch, Hito aye
Pokemon Acetabular and Glenoid
tearing your labrum
honking to clown porn, hi
gassing the clowns
Mellonism
Germany announces 'zero tolerance' policy against creepy clowns ahead of Halloween
you mom's bra spaghetti
you mom
your bra
her bra
her clothes
your clothes
the kind of watermelonlike smell your fabric softener imparts to your clothes
help! can u get prole apps after fist time hav sex
prole apps
Wang, Bavaria
Pokemon Going Into a Room Together and Doing Ash
Pokemon Going Into a Room Alone and Doing It
going into a room alone and doing it
wanking to elderly porn, hi
losing yourself in the music, the moment, owning it, never letting it go
moving yourself, you always live your life never thinking of the future
having seen so many naked chicks riding clams by now that you'd think it would lose its lustre
giving away septuagenariansinswimsuits dot com to the DNC
watching pseudoscopic porn
really wanting a crossover of Star Trek and Popeye, where Popeye is the bridge science officer and chuckles "faskinatin'" into that glowy stereoscope on his desk
We have a protester!
McQueary claimed a loss of reputation, in addition to his dismissal from his salaried coaching position for his role as a whistleblower
abnormal circles
how cun u tell u r penchant
wondering why a fan of a violent, mentally ill billionaire with a penchant for locking up his enemies without trial would like Batman
the guy behind him in the Batman shirt, but not the new Batman logo, the old logo, because kids these days why I oughta
"Just thinking to myself right now, we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump," the Republican presidential nominee said during a rally here on Thursday
Please Re Elect Gerald
the happiness your toys bring to children all over the galaxy is your gift
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more
you can't tell me it's not worth trying for
when the going gets tough, it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
Roxanne
that's sensible
I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at a red light
I had forgotten that your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington
get out of my dreams, get into my windowless van
Billy Ocean started it
this place is so fucking dark
getting found by a hiker six months later
getting reported missing, baby
getting dumped by the side of the road
getting rolled up in a carpet
getting into my car
getting out of my dreams
feels pretty racist
wondering what if feels like to live in an actual country whose wikipedia article is shorter than Dalaran's
piercing David Hyde Pierce's hide
Crepitus
dottongsi
wondering what drove the schism in WoW players that resulted in an entire page of different wikis, none of them Wikipedia, when you search "Dalaran wikipedia"
Dalaran
Doc Naked
Marty Naked
Bif Naked
singing out a lovely song under the pale moonlight
drawing a picture of Hillary Clinton being Washington Monumented by Bernie Sanders and the GOP elephant
wondering if it would be possible to ingest a dye which would concentrate itself only in the cells of your hair as it grows, without giving you scalp cancer
dongledingers
"and your savings are on fire because the pound is worth less and less every day"
also never having to listen to anybody who says "Tories are good with the economy" again, because you can now just say "austerity's meagre gains were wiped out completely by Brexit, from which we will not fully recover in your lifetime"
as your savings burn
that sure CETA's progress doesn't bode well for the immediate trade future of your own nation, but at least you'll get to watch as blustering political opportunists get deflated time and again
the whole CETA thing being amusing because there's no chance of it being ratified by all EU member states for years at least even if Wallonia would let Belgium sign, but it's being presented as a too good to miss bargain deal anyway
wearing a hoodie over your pajamas because you're too lazy to get properly dressed
really enjoying the fake orange taste of those soluble vitamins a little too much
It was not clear if Team Clinton sought to publicize the photo to show Sanders, a champion of the working class, at an exclusive locale or if the goal was to circulate an unflattering picture of a septuagenarian in a swimsuit
etc, whatevs, lol lol lol
Taking anything she says to heart after she drunkenly fell asleep on your floor after basically telling at you for not having fixed your mental hang ups, originating from early parental death, yet
when she says that you cry to manipulate people without thinking for a second that she might JUST be being enough a horrid cunt right now to be making you cry lol lol
that everything is a test with her but you don't realise until she's decided you've failed
that she doesn't realise that "you can kind of be a bitch sometimes" is still true
Ainu woman with mouth tattoos and live bear
This November is the Wikipedia Asian Month
Belgium Canada relations
disodium helide
giving Gov Mike Pence my coupons
We had no idea we had skidded off the runway until Gov Pence came to the back of the plane and said we may have done that
swinging your flat taxes from a noose
being a Jill Stein for Halloween
National Walrus Security Tusk Force
National Ballot Security Task Force
QUEUEnuts
peennuts
the Donald violently emerges from Kowalski's peanuts when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
The National Enquirer later reported that Trump refused to go out with Hayek because she's "too short" and this would make The Donald look like a "hulking, predatory ogre" standing next to her instead of "a puckish, malevolent goblin"
Project Alamo
thaladeggthandwicheth
thaladocracy
Drumpfsdeputationshauptschluss
slamming the media colon
Trump slams the media colon 'It's the greatest pile on in American history'
having sandwich sex with a dinosaur
having dinosaur sex with a sandwich
finding "having dinosaur sex with a sandwich" in your autofill cache
finding "marrying a sandwich" in your autofill cache
wanting to give Kento a male ORANGE order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a male order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a mail order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a subscription to Steak n Shake New Magazine for his birthday, if you know what I mean
wanting to give Kento subscriptions to Brides magazine and International Sandwich & Food to KENTO News Magazine, formerly International Sandwich & Snack News, for his birthday
The women remained stoned for days
wanting to give Kento subscriptions to Brides magazine and International Sandwich & Food to Go News Magazine, formerly International Sandwich & Snack News, for his birthday
the Sootyz Crisis
the Sweepz Crisis
the Suez Crisis
French Flanders
thalassocracy
wondering what percentage of mid nineties Chicago Bulls games are being pirate broadcast on Manbang right this minute
Dennis Rodman is believed to be an avatar of Kim Il sung, brought back to defeat the Imperialist West by acting as a coach, guide, and lover to Kim Jong un
Daughtercannon
Songun
wondering whether Juche makes an exception for Dennis Rodman or whether he's still considered subhuman for being non Korean
publicists jerking Sikhs
Reichsdeputationshauptschluss
jerks seeking publicity
publicity seeking jerks
Based on the rounded letter "w's" of the handwriting, believed to represent breasts, and the slashing and stuffing of theater seats, Brussel thought something about sex was troubling the bomber, possible an oedipus complex
His first two bombs drew little attention
Relieving Knight's burden on their land, and in their hair, and on their surcoat, and a little bit went on their sword
Relieving Knight's burden on their land
drawing a picture of Kento getting ready to slide his dick into a croque madame but losing the nerve at the last second
crypt skiddies
an outlandish people, calling themselves Egyptians, using no craft nor feat of merchandise, who have come into this realm, and gone from shire to shire, and place to place, in great company, and used great subtlety and crafty means to deceive the people
script kiddies
that you will eventually dye alone
feeling the bony fingers of death and smelling its stench upon yourself and being like death, are you fingering your own butthole before you come knocking or what, that is disgusting
getting poochy
your hair slowly turning grey without anybody to remark on it and tell you if it's OK or if you should dye it
wrinkles
starch masks
my circle is normal
memorizing every BLT filling
not hooking up with pastrami on rye
how is prangent formed
marrying a sandwich
I went two flips up in the air, two flips in front of him
bride fancier's lament
Trump responded Tuesday to Vice President Biden's statement that he wishes he was in high school so he could take Trump "behind the Steak n Shake," saying "I'd love that"
Trump responded Tuesday to Vice President Biden's statement that he wishes he was in high school so he could take Trump "behind the gym," saying "I'd love that"
These paid tributes included on field color guard, enlistment and reenlistment ceremonies, performances of the national anthem, full field flag details, ceremonial first pitches and puck drops
bottoming for Judd Hirsch in Independence Gay VII
It was Judd Hirsch fucking you, moron!
It was Judd Hirsch, you fucking moron!
bird shagger's dick
bird fancier's lung
Bricklayer's Penis being one of the most harrowing diseases of the Industrial Revolution era
Jane Haining
There was no active learning by the pupils as you told the pupils about the characterisation during a clip of Jurassic Park and instructed them to write down the points you made
tricking a straight guy from West Virginia into bragging about kind of loving circumcising a pony
being relatively sure that bricklayer's penis, such as remains, probably doesn't work all that reliably
being relatively sure that Russia's nuclear arsenal, such as remains, probably doesn't work all that reliably
the mercury is rising and it's not all that surprising
Trump Colon My foreign policy plan would start not just WWIII but also WWIV, WWV, and WWVI
A podcaster broke his penis during a vigorous sex session with his boyfriend when they were trying not to wake the walrus
Trump Colon Clinton's foreign policy plan would start WWIII
A bricklayer broke his penis during a vigorous sex session with his girlfriend when they were trying for a baby
she started sucking me on the way to Mr Koon's house
surely he would be a little bit more incognito than to deconstruct and reassemble a rifle in front of his new foster family
the theory that Harambe was either not killed or merely the only one of a number of escaped apes which has been reported, the remainder and or unkilled Harambe being the "animals" responsible for firebombing the Orange County, NC GOP offices
PETE'S DRAGON Burns Down His Apartment
Pete Burns Down His Apartment
Japanese Man Burns Down His Apartment
"terrible" China, "totally corrupt" Mexico, "a total mess big crime" Germany
He said he feels "terrible" for the victim, "a tough kid who's hanging in there"
Officials Investigate Claim of Noose Put on Black Student
wrapping Pete Burns' coffin in copper wire to create a limitless source of electricity
I don't think there's much doubt any more
Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns dies at fifty seven
A Teenager Punched a Police Horse in the Face During a Flash Mob at Temple University, Officials Say
running a couple co projects with Will Shakespeare
Oxford University Press has announced that its new edition of the complete works of Walrus Shakespeare will credit Christopher Lydon as a co Eiffel Towerer on the three Fat Gay Asians VII plays
segregation is not a humiliation but a benefit, and ought to be so regarded by you gentlemen
Oxford University Press has announced that its new edition of the complete works of William Shakespeare will credit Christopher Marlowe as a co author on the three Henry VI plays
Hollywood's Leonardo DiCaprio gushed to The Donald Colon "Wow one stop date shopping What a concept!"
now the hunter becomes the hunted
reversing the charges
settling down colon
win win outcomes
Justin Bieber took the nuclear option when screaming fans in Manchester, England wouldn't settle down colon he walked off stage
Annie Hawkins Turner
Hugh Dykes
I always found them industrious, and good fellows to live among
I voted for Camel McCamelface
Alexander Cameltoe
Alexander Camelton
having been on the internet for so long that when you briefly saw an image of Garfield the cat Eiffel Towering Kento with Jon Arbuckle you assumed that he hated Mondays and just moved swiftly on
having been on the internet for so long that when you briefly saw an image of Garfield the cat reclining with his thumb up and smiling you assumed he had an erection and just moved swiftly on
drawing a picture on the back of your homework
wondering who had better taste in interior furnishings, Donald Trump or Saddam Hussein
King Ass
Trumps boasts colon 'I am the furthest behind anyone has every been, am the king of behind'
Trump adviser acknowledges colon 'We are behind'
cum on behind victories
come from behind victories
dabo dogs
dabo boys
dabo girls
all the sacks in Sackville
liking your women like you like your disco, disastrous, impossible, super special, crazy crazy, oh, oh, oh
all the whores in Whoreville
the plans the Sackville Bagginses had for moving into his fine hobbit hole
ISAAC BLADUD BRYAN'S BLUFF
JACOB GONERIL DALLAS
JACOB Regan Murphy
Edward Regan Murphy
Jack Roland Murphy
MURPH
Frisland
being born a lion but identifying as a sealion
Panko Crumbs
Danko Jones
being shadowed to the Spanish Realm
dick jokes
the first third is the girthiest
the first rub is the longest
being banished to the Shadow Realm
liking your women like you like your STEAK, groped by Donald Trump
the rule of thirds
Let me hear the sound you'd make if you were slashed in half by a sword
rubbing someone the left way
rubbing someone the right way
rubbing someone the wrong way
you've got to try it to regret it
Your potential regret of Fistopher Lydon has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE!
Kento Manspreda
Akimbo Ikeda
I mean that other one people always play, the one with the harmonica
I think she was referring to dramatic irony
KENTO manspreads
Alanis Morissette songs that aren't ironic
when everything feels like a table you bleed just to know where you're going
actually walking into a table and giving yourself a shinning this morning
AKIMBO manspreads
Flea Market Montgomery
ASIMO falls down stairs
bleeder, I hardly know 'er
bleeders
when everything feels like the movies you bleed just to know you're alive
Carmen Colon A Hip Hopera
finish your sprouts
I don't think you're ready for this jelly
Toy all your thing on me, baby
I would dispute that you have tried to be my Valentine
Nelson Nutella
Sam Cooke didn't know what I know
for the first time, a computer can recognize the words in a conversation as well as a person would
that'll keep you going through the show
Shm reduplication
Joe Cocker, I hardy know 'er
Joe Momma
Joe Cocker
Janine, sorry about the baby thing, I'll be in my office
we all float down here, just go ahead now
all these years I've spent unwittingly telling disgusting, dark jokes to a baby
trying to find a quote from She's All That to mix up with 'we all float down here' but never having seen the movie and the dialogue all reading like it was delivered by people with chunky sweaters and Spin Doctors beards
I sleep in two to four hour bursts, two to four times per day
wondering if you were awake this whole time
hey guys, remember Freddie Prinze jr
England is the first to fall, cheerio
October twenty second, twenty sixteen colon the iKettle two point o becomes self aware and begins terrorizing humanity with too hot tea
you have to imagine it would be pretty galling for the manual kettle operators
wondering what it would be like if the downfall of our technological society was brought about by a bunch of fucking idiots who were too lazy to manually turn on their kettles
being a stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking cockeater
Mr Han T Cockeater
Seymour Cocks
Marthe Cnockaert
no TV and no beer make homer something something
discovering The Running Man was written by Stephen King
She's All IT
the original agreement was that he would take out the garbage, but he noticed the MIsix snipers waiting in the alley and worked out the room tidying compromise
The Shining really is a great name for a romcom
wondering how much of his room Julian Assange had to tidy before the ambassador gave him the new wifi password
Honey, I Hit On The Girl At The Deli Who Now You Mention It Does Indeed Bear A Striking Resemblance To My Cousin But It's OK Because She's Not Interested And You Don't Exist
turning to your wife to ask where she thinks the clanging is coming from and remembering you fail at everything non trivial that you ever do and that's why you're going to be alone until you die
really hoping that loud clanging is just air moving through the pipes or thermal expansion and not more goddamn wildlife in the walls
turning to your wife and saying sorry for all the terrible farts only to find you've never been married
remembering you don't have a wife
eating licorice on an empty stomach so that hours after your actual meal you can't stop making the most disgusting eggy farts
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in your timeline who follows like ten million people is always posting about The Internet of Things but then remembering you don't have a wifi kettle and your car is analog so why would you
That Guy In Y, from the studio that brought you He's So Cute and the director of Honey, I Romantic Comedy'd Us
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in Z
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in y
Drawing representing the Internet of Things
wondering what kind of numbers the Ken Bone Halloween costume will put up against Trump and Hillary
starring Jared Fogle
The Love Sub
wondering whether there is a Ken Bone themed pregnancy porno yet
same here
knowing of Joe Biden solely through internet memes
Joe Biden Wishes He Could Take Donald Trump 'Behind the Gym' If You Know What I Mean
Joe Biden Wishes He Could Take Donald Trump 'Behind the Gym'
Multiple waves of online attacks blocked many major websites Friday, at times making it impossible for users on the East Coast to access Twitter, Spotify , Netflix, Amazon, Tumblr, Reddit and other sites
sausage dicks
War without fire is like dicks without mustard
War without fire is like sausages without mustard
Dyn is one of a number of outfits that host the Domain Name System, or DNS, which functions as a switchboard for the internet
shooting Peter Jackson in the eye when meat was back on the menu, boys
titty&Co
British American Tobacco Offers to Buy Reynolds American, Cheerio, I'm Smokin' Here
I'm pretty sure Jim Moseley would be doing that anyway
Harambesoft
Jim Moseley is buying extra ammunition and stocking up on canned goods
Haresoft
mele kalikimaka
two empty Doritos bags making out
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM DEPRESSION
girl on girl sex during CHILDBIRTH
scrotumfrog dot tv
jerkbox dot tv
wondering why diet cola has that weird moldy aftertaste sometimes
jackbox dot tv
#BoneZone
Braiding Private Ryan
thinking Braids of Our Fathers isn't that good and people only call it seminal because of all the semen
that there isn't a post ironic brand of Simpsons branded liquor called "Ned Rum"
Ewan McGregor Recalls Embarrassing First Meeting With George Lucas, Talks Braiding Debut
Jonathan King
wanting to make Kento fit for a king for his birthday
aye
we're toutael airsehooles
a billionaire spiv who has shamed British capitalism
Britain Won't Perform 'Scrotum Frog' Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
Britain Won't Perform "Parenthetical" Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
we're total arseholes
we've been putting kids in camps and sending them back to warzones for lack of documentation for decades now
we probably will
Britain Won't Perform 'Unethical' Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
penpervertfootcum dot com
votefortrumppence dot com
black ass momma, white ass daddy
taopiecaul hiuamoure
topical humour
writing a report about Tesco giving hot beef a pony injection
The Stone Child of Sens
I've never seen a mulatto cock, but I'd like to!
drawing a picture of Homer giving a pony a hot beef injection
Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset now end with Homer blowing a pony
Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset now end with Homer blowing a tranquilizer dart into Marge's neck
The critically endangered Titicaca Water Frog, popularly referred to as the "scrotum frog" due to its folded skin, is suffering an unprecedented die off as researchers scramble to find answers signed, Roman Polanski to get dates
The critically endangered Titicaca Water Frog, popularly referred to as the "scrotum frog" due to its folded skin, is suffering an unprecedented die off as researchers scramble to find answers
signed, Roman Polanski
to get dates
wondering why an eight year old girl was using a dating website
Mulder and Scully visit a pyrotechnics expert who says that only rocket fuel can burn hot enough to destroy evidence of its origins as jet fuel cannot melt steel beams
an Irish pyrokinetic who preyed on British politicians, making them catch fire with his mind, in the course of his delusional obsessions with their wives
something something Roman Polanski, something if you know what I mean
shooting Elly Jackson in her scanties when she was a kid
being mature enough to understand the inherent sexism of lad culture and feeling that this tarnishes any cameraderie you ever felt via the "lad" experience, but at the same time feeling that pictures of Jackson C Frank in his scanties would be pretty grea
Pokemon Virgin Megastore and Amazon Prime
Madonna Colon Mankind's Last Best Hope Against the Hand Job Robot Apocalypse
being glad you don't have kids so that you'll never have to explain the purpose of those optical media discs you bought from the "Virgin Megastore" or why you still possess them, even though they're worth pennies
guessing that Madonna's genitalia are a veritable Amazon PRIME of STDs, with same day automated delivery, and even if the entire sex worker community dedicate itself to beating her off, it would still fail to compete
guessing that Madonna's genitalia are a veritable Amazon rainforest of STDs, with speciation far beyond any other habitat on the planet, and even if the entire scientific community dedicate itself to the study of her, it would uncover only a fraction
the thing with a bear being that it's hard for you to view it as fecally active because it lacks mystique, even though you know a mammal of its size and purported diet probably knows how to have a bowel movement, but also maybe shits in the woods
the thing with Madonna being that it's hard for you to view her as sexually desirable because she lacks mystique, even though you know a woman of her age and purported sexual experience probably knows how to have a good time, but also maybe has some STDs
garniture votre salade au roquefort, fromage nicoise, tout semble bleu et vert
I think she runs the risk of running out of saliva first
I don't know, I think she could really plow through them pretty quickly
tempting, but by the time she'd worked through the line she'd probably be two elections behind anyway
pop star Madonna raised some eyebrows by offering to perform oral sex on voters who cast their ballots for Hillary Clinton
crew member Jackson
Sylvia and Kento as they really appeared
Gyna
Sylvia and Korob as they really appeared
cat's pawing a friendly ghost
donning the cuckold's horns for Halloween
shooting a Jackson C Frankenstein for Halloween when you were a kid
eating a frank and beans for Halloween, if you know what I mean
being a Frankenstein for GOODBYEween
eating a frank and beans for Halloween
being a Frankenstein for Halloween
Codependent Online Swan
Codescending Online Swan
Condescending Online Man
Democratic Campaign Bus Dumps Human Waste in Georgia Sewer
your boobs circumcising Kento on ebay
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is from West Virginia
girthles
the girth of turtles
the depth of turtles
the death of turtles
regrets about being from West Virginia
magnificent regrets about Earthlink
Man reportedly has penis removed after allegedly getting it stuck in Sting's rape bog
Man reportedly has penis removed after allegedly getting it stuck in a bottle
Sting's rape bog
Sting's rage bop
raping Go's best
groping beasts
Despite receiving a 'C' grade on his paper, by an instructor who regarded Watson's idea "unrealistic", Watson started a new push for ratification with a letter writing campaign to state legislatures
Inverted Swan
Inverted Jenny
Aerophilately
Famulus, a half human, half deer combination
Favorite Male Buttfucker
Favorite Male Buttkicker
The billionaire at the time enjoying a resurgence of popularity with his TV series The Apprentice "fired" a human cannonball into the air, landing in a net laced with green slime
Chuck Berry Announces His First New Videotape of Women Shitting in His Restaurant in Almost There Deacdes
Chuck Berry Announces His First New Album in Almost Four Deacdes
Roald McDoald
So no weapons or sharp objects! But just know that the clowns are not averse to giving you a good scare!
Riddled McDiddled
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian Kento Al Qaeda
that personally I prefer Meteor Strike on social issues, but I feel that Zombie Apocalypse has a better grasp on economic and foreign policy
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian
Kento Al Qaeda
seeing a meteor strike would be cool
A new national poll by the University of Massachusetts Lowell finds that nearly a quarter of millennials would prefer to see a meteor strike Earth than either of the major twenty sixteen presidential candidates in the White House
Miami Beach commissioner wants to use bats to take bite out of Zika outbreak
Unnatural Secretion
Unnatural Discretion
street signs, indoors
wondering what proportion of the circulation of New York magazine actually lives in the city itself and wants to indulge in self congratulatory masturbation, and what proportion is people from Buttfuck, Nebraska who want to pretend they're sophisticated
According to the Shalom Life magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people, oy vei
According to the New York magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people, I'm fuckin' here
According to the New York magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people
wench cottaging
bird dogging
once the aircraft rolled past sixty degrees the pilot was automatically ejected from the aircraft
wishing to hunt the ultimate prey, Optimus Prime
a writhing pile of kids will grope blindly for hot dogs
long haired half unorcs
recognizing only two genders must make him hard to talk about
Eunuch Warlock's infamous "rivendells of blood" speech
In empires where eunuchs are important, many half orcs become eunuchs, and even eunuch warlocks
at least that's what he told me
Tasmanian devil milt fights superbugs
Tasmanian devil milk fights superbugs
trying to pause Twitter by clittering on the video
he's white ISIS
somewhere in space this may all be happening right now
trying to pause Twickch by cliting on the video
trying to pause Twitch by clicking on the video
Loanie Owns Chachi
tail hook bras