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the ongoing slow death of Hindi nips nut rape
the ongoing slow death of the unpaid intership
a number of these television series, such as Gerry Anderson's various Supermarionation series such as Thunderbirds, Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner, and Jim Henson's The Muppet Show still have an international following CITATION NEEDED
BATMAN behind RESTAURANTS
cool breeze over the mountains, if you know what I mean
cool breeze over the mountains
Throggs Neck
an unprecedented fusion of earth home bomb bunker helter skelter spelunker shelters
When detectives examined his driver's license, Reubens told them, "I'm Peewee Herman", and offered to do a children's benefit for the sheriff's office, "to take care of this"
letting me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside
when I want a wife I'm gonna buy one
Gordon Behind Bars
Bone Mill Junction
not liking people, just wanting to jack off all over them
arriving at a party and immediately starting messing with your boner
not disliking people, just not wanting to have anything to do with them
you can find me in the club, pretending to text
arriving at a party and immediately starting messing with your phone
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen looking at pictures of naked ladies being raped by a midget falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups Thant
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen looking at pictures of naked ladies being raped by a midget
the death of Alice Drummond
exotic dancer and pornographic film star who dated mobster Mickey Cohen and was friends with Dallas club owner Jack Ruby
bottoming for Dong Connery in The Leauge of Extraordinary Genitalmen VII
The League of Rad Kento Anal Dryer Gentlemen VII
The League of Skinless Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinarily Naked Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinary Naked Gentlemen
hold thrill kiss kill, Bono, the Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr
I should never have laminated that list of things you can never get from me
if I can't get it from you I'll get it somewhere else
you better not be cheating on me
I'm wearing pajamas
looking at webcam streams of naked gentlemen
Pokemon Msenge and Basha
looking at pictures of naked jets
looking at pictures of naked sharks
giving Jane Wiedlin the Vegan D vrus
looking at pictures of naked dolls
looking at pictures of naked guys
drawing a picture of Bear Grylls being Tailgated by a bear and a girl
I am inside out, there can be no doubt
Jamie Oliver's penis once ballooned after he burnt it while cooking a romantic meal in the nude
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen being Eiffel Towered by other naked gentlemen and naked walruses
looking at pictures of naked gentlemen
You better run for your life if you can, little girl Hide your head in the sand little girl Catch you with another man That's the end'a little girl
At first I worried it would be this year's FOXCATCHER, but then it really grew on me
James Miranda Stuart Barry
Good news guys Muslims will not have to check in and get IDs
excessive self defence
perfect pictures of perfect dickladies
looking at pictures of naked dickladies
perfect strangers in perfect worlds apart
having impure thoughts about a thirtyish Jane Wiedlin
looking at pictures of Myke Hawke
realising the internet was getting to you when YouTube suggested a Communards song to you and you misread them as "the Commutards"
looking at pictures of Barenaked Ladies
being taped to Myke Hawke
looking at pictures of naked ladies
being taped by Ma Ridge
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense because Kevin "Homewrecker" McCallister won't pick up the phone
picking a guy whose nickname is "Bonesaw" as Secretary of Defense
Inspector Gadget, I hardly know 'er
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense being raped by Inspector Gadget
picking a guy whose nickname is "Mad Dog" as Secretary of Defense
being raped by Inspector Gadget
being vaped by a gadget
shooting Jackson C Frank in the eyhole with a motorcycle when you were the Fonz
the Salish Wool Dog Trials
the Salish Wool Dog
drawing a picture of a FULLY FUNCTIONAL Brent Spiner aye aye fucking Jackson C Frank's eyholes when you were a kid
giving an eye for an aye aye
giving a Lydon for a walrus
on the twelfth day of Chrismas, my true love sent to me Charlemagne's twelve peers peeing
giving a Roland for an Oliver
husting makes me feel good
Zac Goldsmith hit by his own car on way to Richmond Park by election hustings
Tucker's Luck followed the exploits of Tucker and his friends
Tucker's friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body to himself
swans don't crash, they attack reality for its impertinence
the death of Crashed Swan
the death of Andrew Sachs
The Duck Song
put down the caffeine for tae kwon do
drawing a picture of Jackson C Frank being Swinging London'd on a piano bench by Simon and Garfunkel
the dice were loaded from the start
the song's origins lie in a late night party, in which the duo and friends began banging on a piano bench
Hotel Californication
taking the midnight train going anywhere
the death of Jim Delligatti
hot dip galvanization
Japan black
Das Judenthum in der Musik
Semen Party I
tear my penis
rate my penis
semen parity
Pet Seminary
Portunidae
drawing a picture of Sting jerking off to insect porn after finishing another dank Bee Movie meme for his YouTube channel and smothering himself in honey
the pollen's the thing, wherein I'll catch the comb of the king
borrowing bees from a Jewish beekeeper and having to give a pound of honey to get them back
nuc Lear family FUCK
Pokemon Reagan and Gonorrhea
receiving three bee colonies, two which you expected to do well but which ultimately threatened, stung and disappointed you, one which you expected nothing of which ultimately was your saving grace, guess you went nuc Lear
DENTAL dam busting makes me feel good
dam busting makes me feel good
a horrific vision of the showers at a soccer practice ground from which echoes a slap slap slapping noise to the tune of the theme from Dambusters
I think the dam has just been busted, the guys who have come forward have been a catalyst
it certainly is
Jacobaea vulgaris
coming over here to the UK and teaching us how to drink out of cups
the beaker folk, coming over here, rowing up the Tagus estuary from the Iberian peninsula
losing weight while sucking dick
grapefruit technique
vegan live yogurt
you should be eating live yogurt
feeling like your running about a twelve or thirteen on the Bristol scale right now
I hope that someone gets my I hope that someone gets my I hope that someone gets my message in a boobie yeah
Someone Handed In A Dead Jellyfish To The Police Thinking It Was A Breast Implant From A Murder Scene
wanting to continue with those jokes but really only knowing those two Ricky Martin songs
She Clocks
being actually pained that there is currently no Viva la Vida Loca out there yet
The entire bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
falling down the rabbit hole of youtube song mashups
Wake Me Up When All Star Ends
bottoming for Leah Rimminme in To The Garbage Chute Flyboy VII
bottoming for Leah Rimminme in Colon Aftermath VII
Drug resistant salmonella linked to Wisconsin THIGHS
Drug resistant salmonella linked to Wisconsin calves
Leah Remini Colon Scientology and the Aftermath
five to six thousand man sized holes
el circo volador de Monte Sierpe
Monte Sierpe
Greenpeace activists irreparably damaged the Nazca Lines while setting up a banner within the lines of one of the famed geoglyphs
Pokemon Darmok and Jalad
tweeting to atChapecoenseReal "at least you didn't have to eat each other #out"
tweeting to atChapecoenseReal "at least you didn't have to eat each other #alive"
Benedict Cumberbatch as the Grinch
Two police forces have today confirmed they are investigating comments made by a far right leader back in March
You're rock music's biggest colonist
Pokemon Derek and the Dominos
wanting to make Kento a cryogenic style burrito for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an emission style burrito for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Mission style burrito for his birthday
NASA Wants You to Help Astronauts Poop
thanks, I try
you anuse eat me, Mr Grinch
you nauseate me, Mr Grinch
Thant
no man is an island, entire of itself, each is a piece of the continent, a part of the daisy chain
like some sort of daisy chain
we are all connected
that's weird, last night I dreamed that someone came to my home and made me his thirteenth spouse, and Kento was telling me he got fucked thirteen times last night
having an incredibly vivid dream last night in which someone came to your workplace and put a gun to your head and you managed to escape but he ended killing thirteen people
Banda Oriental
calling up a bank and asking them if they have five pound notes, and when they say yes, asking them how they got to the phone so fast
trace amounts of currency are present in the UK's new polymer bank notes, making them unsuitable for Brexit
trace amounts of tallow are present in the UK's new polymer bank notes, making them unsuitable for vegans
not the way you talk, buttmouth
that doesn't rhyme with Ving Rhames
Ein Bund furs Leben
rhyming things with Ving Rhames
the film has something for pretty much anybody who likes horses and good people going thru "class struggles" within a tight knit horse related community of rich snobs and their "toys"
Los Angeles based porn company Assence Films extended an offer to Heiman to appear in an adult film of his choosing
I'd watch it, I'm not saying I wouldn't watch it, but it's like you watching me, there's no feeling beyond uncanny compulsion
I just don't find him sexually attractive
searching for "Trump Towered" and finding no instances and feeling ashamed for both of us that we have yet to write any such regrets
A member of the Electoral College representing Texas, Art Sisneros, wrote on Saturday that he will resign as an elector because he refuses to cast a vote for Donald Trump
Jesse Franklin Heiman
taking your baby by the ears and playing upon her darkest fears
eating a KILO of MEROVINGIANS
eating a pound of franks
Hulapedia dot com
Rough Cyber Monday
giving up editing Hulkapedia dot com and branching out into Hulkworld dot wikia dot com
Paul Nuttall is angry with mainstream politicians who think they have a monopoly on "truth"
Cyber Monday
Hulkaleaks dot com
Hulkapedophilia dot com
The trademarks include Hulk Hogan, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, Hulkster, Hogan Knows Grillin, Hulkamania dot com, and Hulkapedia dot com
Hulkamania
How to Fuck Forty Four Humans
Haboob Anakin
How to Cook For Forty Humans
a thoughtless frightened search for the children yet unborn
For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own, for the children, and the children yet unborn
Emperor Norton is claimed by several defunct civil rights groups to have been destined to return to the USA when the unity of the Republic is at its nadir
Madam Montour
Oh Annie, Slagpile Annie, my little pile of slag
catoptromancy
Slag Pile Annie
Boobs v Barney
Booty v Barnaby
that's Mr Shittypants to you
the "personification of the fear of using a dark bathroom late at night"
we'd have to pay a bumper pounds ten to hear you play bread pest S&M anthem 'All Star'
we'd have to pay a bumper pounds ten thousand to hear you play sex pest S&B anthem 'Thong Song'
REGRETS ABOUT FULECO AWARENESS
regrets about Kony awareness
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see
all the cocks in the bento box say ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see us screaming crazy things at each other, then never come back putting cocks in Kento's bento box
periodically I check to make sure we're not the subject of a subreddit or something, but I'm not particularly thorough
sometimes they leave comments and I scream at them too
wondering if people sometimes randomly stumble onto this site, see us screaming crazy things at each other, then never come back
putting cocks in Kento's bento box
FILMING a VIDEO of SIXTY FOUR HOUSEKEEPERS BUTTERING one another
drawing a picture of eight maids CREAMING one another
drawing a picture of eight maids milking one another
milking also requires at least a milk cow, which is an additional cost
The maids are assumed to be unskilled laborers earning the federal minimum wage
an Arabian baboon
one feather, two geese, three sides of meat, four sheep, five cows, six oxen, seven dishes, eight ponies, nine banners, ten barrels, eleven goats, twelve men, thirteen hides, fourteen rounds of cheese and fifteen deer
The king sent his lady on the first Yule day, A popingo aye, Wha learns my carol and carries it away
wondering exactly what a lord a leaping is, and why anyone would think that even one of them would be a good gift, let alone thirty of them
Remembering what his dentist told him when he was a child, Kaufman suggested bringing in the Ark of the Covenant into Indiana's tale as the central plot device
Trump Tower becomes 'Dump Tower' on Google Maps
wondering which side the penis cyborgs will choose in the upcoming Hand Job Robot Uprising
at last, a wireless bionic penis that doesn't need three AA batteries
Surgically inserted in the base of the penis through an incision, the one inch metal coil can be turned on by a remote held over the groin, generating a metal field which triggers a current
a fucking Polack WOULD say that
being Irish doesn't make Bono a terrorist
she was killed by terrorists, Bono was there
not until you tell me what happened to the other French hen
fuck marry kill, ten lords a leaping, seven swans a swimming, two French hens
avoision, it's a crime, look it up
fuck marry kill, eight episodes about pony blowing, NINE episodes about pony SUCKING, TEN SEASONS about HORSE FUCKING
fuck marry kill, bustin', buskin', breastgasm
a game show like Family Fued but all the answers are who sent dick pics to whom and how many, Family Dick Pics
a bad girl's dream saving your life
plodding, suicidal sounding renditions of Jingle Bell Rock
street performers who aren't very good but clearly practice a lot
fuck marry kill, F Murray Abraham, Mary Killman, John le Fucker
fuck marry kill, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Bill from Kill Bill
fuck marry kill, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill the Pony
Fingringhoe
Butt Hole Road, won't you come, and wash away the rain, Butt Hole Road, won't you come, won't you come
Shitterton
Butthole Lane
Butt Hole Road
pulling your Pudsey
Pudsey Bear's family made it into a dick pic
Pudsey Bear's penis made it into a family photo
Arsenio KOSHER
Aresenio Hlal
Sex crazed Kim Jong il 'coerced whoever took his fancy into sex and had them executed if they didn't tell him he was unbelievably good in the sack because he was an autocrat and nobody could possibly have stopped him'
#gender crazed Kim Jong il 'ate lion's penis to make him better in the sack'
Sex crazed Kim Jong il 'ate lion's penis to make him better in the sack'
Reports CNN aired porn in Boston may be a hoax
that's a dirty lie
you suck McBain!
I'm not Comic Book Guy, I'm his cousin, Comic Book Gay
drawing a picture of Donald Trump stamping his way back to hell after his real name is guessed correctly
drawing a picture of Donald Trump complaining that he has been brought Denis Lawson but requested Brie Larson
having a threesome with a couple of loafers
Mr Trump's BIGGS Salad
Mr Trump's Wedge Salad
fuck marry kill, a shoe, a pony, a carrot
if you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you
the Rent Is Too Damn High Party
Gdeaf Geldof
the death of Florence Henderson
the Areseniooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hall problem
our social media guys kind of go out and do a little dropping it throughout Trump groups and Trump forums and boy it spread like wildfire
the Mdeafnty Hall prdeafblem
the Monty Hall problem
Kentdeaf Ikeda
Gdeaf Ikeda
Jackie Deaf
wondering if the libations of condoms continue into the Special Olympics
The Story of Deaf
Deaf Henry
the Deaflympics
LGBTQ Visitors from the Fabulous Land of Oz
hypnagogic jerks
Queer Visitors from the Marvelous Land of Oz
imagining fierce and bloody wars for possession of prairies, then going home and jerking off to your manuscript about a little girl who returns from a magical land where she could rule to be a teetotal evangelizing dirt farmer
The Whites, by law of conquest, by justice of civilization, are masters of the American continent, and the best safety of the frontier settlements will be secured by the total annihilation of the few remaining Indians
Orko states that what make him happy on Christmas is presents
Adam states that "Though we celebrate it and get presents, Christmas is about caring, sharing and goodwill and its spirit is within all of us"
of course
Kento's butt
wondering what Chris is going to craft when he finishes mining Kento's butt
disinterring Orville Wright's corspe and violating the natural order of it to violate him like he violated the natural order
disinterring Orville Redenbacher's corspe, partially drying it, sealing it in some type of resin, then popping it like popcorn in order to violate him like he violated young kernels
being slain by a Vapor Dog
coming to accept that hating sand is a perfectly rational condition for anybody who has ever watched Dune, watched the Dune miniseries, read any Dune books, or had to read about Dune reboots or have conversations with Dune fans about Dune
Sand Trucks and Vapor Dogs Guard Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
tainted helipads
landing strips
the minute you wanked in the joint
creating a script that just prints CHARMING twice and terminates
vaporwave
attending benefits for various diseases
Darkly Barking Dexter
the Barking serial killer
there's no need to feel down
the bodies of two young men were found in the same east London churchyard by the same woman walking her dog
No matter where I hang it, the tree leans waaaaaay over to the far right
what really ruined porn for you being the day you started
that's the reference
I think Kento's mom is white
Pro Brexit protest outside Parliament scaled down after thousands fail to turn up
wanting to make Kento a white mom pie for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a white clam pie for his birthday
James Cromwell whenever you read the word 'babe'
struggling to remember what alt used to be, thinking it was that thing where people put coins in their earlobes, unless that was scene, but then what alt could have been eluding you entirely
alt clams
feels bad clam
Pepe invented the "white clam pie"
bottoming for Elijah Wood in Anal Fantasy XV
"Final Fantasy XV" With Elijah Wood
guessing that the last Eddie Murphy release you actually saw was The Nutty Professor
The flat rate percentage for a detective agency is XII%
like, there would be a scene where Rasputia goes into the ladies' room and a thousand pound women enters the stalls on each side of her and then they start pumping out gallons of diarrhea and then you here a single quiet plop sound from Rasputia's stall
feeling like Fatworld Norbit would feature Eddie Murphy trimming his five foot nine frame to a skeletal eighty pounds and dressing as a woman who deliver lots of jokes about how skinny women don't shit much
eating quizza with Sisqo and Shaq in Qatar
what really ruined porn for you being the day you started thinking of James Cromwell whenever you read the word 'babe'
quizza
bottoming for Rammed McAnally in Where The Streets Are Two Way VII
the Ranally city rating system
Chicago style stuffed pizza
Pokemon Big Butts, Sadistic Relationships and Sexual Idiocy
wondering what Norbit was like in Fatworld
my girl likes to party all the time
I can prove it
you got me, I'm not a racist British deadbeat at all, I'm Eddie Murphy
an often awful parade of flatulent gags about big butts, sadistic relationships and sexual idiocy
Eddie Murphy's comic skills are immense
cherry picking Kento's slippery slope and ending up cum hoc
having a furious furtive fallacy in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
the furtive fallacy
crashing a minivan into Minoan concrete on Crete
MAXOAN BARBARITY
Minoan civilization
the Butts effect
the Butz effect
the Buzz effect
taking the densest dump
being certain that Buzz Aldrin had died and pretty sure that Michael Collins had too
determining the mol of the hugest dump
taking the hardest dump
confusing the Moh's hardness scale with the Bristol stool scale
spathic cleavage
Alison Petril
ba dum tsssh
she certainly has amazing cleavage
wondering if Alison Brie will be in Rogue One as the sister of the famous Rebel pilot, Wedge
Kristiania
wondering where anyone would find a cigar cutter big enough to fit Henrik Ibsen
in a doll's house
wondering where anyone would find a cigar cutter big enough to fit Myke Hawke
putting Myke Hawke in a cigar cutter
you know like thirteen years after you put it in the cigar cutter
giving your cigar a bar mitzvah
putting my penis in a cigar cutter
putting your penis in a cigar cutter
and they don't stop coming
Ben Stiller, I hardly know 'er
Snoop Dogg Reacts To Kanye West's Rants
hey guys, remember curly fries
turkeys no longer have twizzlers
turkeys have beaks, not bills
Turkey has withdrawn a controversial bill which would have pardoned men convicted of child rape, if they married the victim
Cheesoid
having long posited the hypothesis that, given a sentence in which the word 'rape' is already present, you would not know what to do, and now having proven the theory
cacao rap, eh
carapace ho
a rape coach
Ben Stiller, always making us laugh
Ben Stiller Reveals Prostate Cancer Battle Colon 'It Came Out of the Blue'
Ben Stiller Opens Up About His Prostate Cancer Diagnosis
Being fingerbanged for journalism is a very strange experience, you don't want it to become a normal one
Being fingerprinted for journalism is a very strange experience, you don't want it to become a normal one
Donald Trump Fries 'Many People' Says He Wants to Deep Throat Stephen Fry
Donald Trump Says 'Many People' Want to Deep Throat Stephen Fry
getting out of a social engagement by claiming to have veganismic sudden bovine enchiladas
getting out of a social engagement by claiming to have sudden bovine enchiladas
Maggiano's donates $lOK to Anti Defamation League after hosting 'alt right' dinner
petitioning the government to rename shallots minions
for you I'd wait forever, nobody does it better
getting your first real sixty nine, in the dumpster behind the five and dime
you can't have a US President, anymore than any other President suggesting to us whom we should appoint as our ambassador in the capital of the country concerned because the first duty of any ambassador is to his or her country to his or her own national
Five police officers go on trial accused of misusing police helicopter to film people having sex
HOOVER PYRAMIDS
Dyson spheres
Donald Trump Says 'Enema Polyp' Want Nigel Farage to Become Britain's Ambassador to the US
Donald Trump Says 'Many People' Want Nigel Farage to Become Britain's Ambassador to the US
The childcatcher, in an attempt to lure out the children from the basement, calls out that he is giving away free quaaludes
The childcatcher, in an attempt to lure out the children from the basement, calls out that he is giving away free sweets
treacle tree tart
The history of flan begins with the ancient Romans
treacle tart
cc penisflan
cc peniston
flan
downgrading AA Milne to A Milne, then BBB Milne in the wake of Brexit
dwelling on a picture of Stephen Fry deep throating deep fried hot cheese fish sausages
wanking on things
dwelling on things
wanking to a picture of Stephen Fry deep throating deep fried hot cheese fish sausages
one does not simply wank to deepthroat Stephen Fry
Hot Cheese Fish Sausages
People from East Rape Cells, Arabia
People from Special Areas, Alberta
kd lang more like kd lebensraum
kd lang
having never really thought about ee cummings other than to be put off by the pretentiousness of styling yourself professionally in lowercase, and now having been to what you're pretty sure is a white supremacist website while googling that asshole
a kike is the most dangerous machine as yet invented
nobody WANKS to deepthroat Stephen Fry
bottoming for AA Milt and ee cumshots in I don't know, some joke about literature I'm too lazy to think of, I guess VII
A Kalispell resident reported that the fireworks in their butt seem louder than the fireworks in other butts
Reportedly, a drunken man shot a firework "out of his butt" in the direction of children who were sitting on a dock in Lakeside
A Kalispell resident reported that objects close to him appear larger than objects further away
A Kalispell resident reported that the fireworks in their neighborhood seem louder than the fireworks in other neighborhoods
A Texan chihuahua that goes by the name "Amigo" was spotted today in the Columbia Falls area
A large dog that was "shaped like a shepherd" was spotted on Dun Movin Lane
A local boy lied to his parents about his homework
A Helena Flats Road resident reported that someone, and he thinks he knows who, "dumped" on his vehicle and broke some fishing poles
A Whitefish resident reported that someone is making fun of them for a typo they made on Craigslist
Upon further investigation, it appears the man going through mailboxes in Whitefish was the mailman
A man was seen going through mailboxes in Whitefish
Some locals thought it was suspicious
A very tall man was sitting at a picnic table in Marion
A Bigfork resident called to tell law enforcement that he had sent them a fax
A Kalispell man reported that he met a girl on a dating site and now she's asking for money after sending some photos of herself
A swan was apparently causing traffic problems along Whitefish Stage Road
Seven horses and two dogs were allegedly parading down Whitefish Stage Road
an attempt to blend elements from Star Trek and TJ Hooker
the kids have to learn about Tek War sooner or later
the Shatnerverse
JSON jeans
JNCO jeans
scuttling Kento to deny him to the walrus
"Japan Moby Pose" would have involved the crew hunting a very boring dance musician though Tokyo
renting that whole thing of smashed crabs and puking in the bucket
you don't buy smashed crabs, you only rent them
"Space Moby Dick" would have involved the crew hunting a space borne deadly monster through the galaxy
Star Trek Colon Lions of the Night
the Newtsuit
the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Zimbabwe's security forces are violently cracking down on activists ahead of a major protest against the government's plan to introduce a new pseudo currency to the country's fragile economy
that you can apparently get a plain cheese pizza for seven hundred trillion Zimbabwean dollars in Zimbabwe
they're taking the hobbits to Disneyland
riding a segway to Mordor
riding a segway to heaven
pizza's come to Zimbabwe
drawing a picture of Sisqo being Queen's Towered by John De Lancie and a quagga while Desmond Llewelyn watches from a quince tree and masturbates
drawing a picture of Q showing Data his fully functional Qness
drawing a picture of Shaq and Sisqo braiding their q's together
wanting to buy Kento a bucket of smashed crabs for his birthday
wanting to buy Kento a crab ladder to heaven for his birthday
wanting to buy Kento a stairway to heaven for his birthday
you lawful, lawful good
getting Sisqo soda on a sock
getting siq on Shack soda
getting sick on Shaq soda
Gondor has no shah, Gondor needs no shah
insulting Tookishness
Ontario is poised to become a testing ground for ACIDIC income, eh
Ontario is poised to become a testing ground for basic income, eh
meze's back on the menu, boys!
they're taking the hobbits to Israel
poopin makes me feel good
What really yanks my chain about "Spy Kids Colon All The Time In The World" I don't see why Reagan wasn't impeached over Iran Contra
What really pushes my buttons about "Fantasia" I don't know how it explains cocaine use among circus performers in the late nineteenth century
What really grinds my gears about "Blade Runner" I don't know where it fits in the Indiana Jones timeline
My chief beef about "Black Swan" I don't know how it relates to the immigrant experience
Poopman Paff
five alarm poopin'
Chief Beef
But as he and his friends deal with substitute teachers, new aliens, more robots, vegan food, braces, final exams, and more middle school awkwardness, will Roan be able to stay the path of the Jedi
false alarm
I'M POOPIN
i'm poopin
Crebain from Lebanon!
one does not simply walk into Jordan poopin'
one does not simply walk into Jordan
poopin'
Star Wars Colon Jedi Academy Colon The Phantom Bully
swing me, shake me, move me, make me
Volapuk
swinging, shaking, moving, making
BEING that VOID thing of GARRY and puking in bed
eating that hole thing of Gary and puking in bed
eating that whole thing of Gary and puking in bed
Call it Gary or something just don't call it cheese because it's not cheese!
there's everything wrong with vegan cheese
wanting to change every reference to Middle East in someone's website to Middle Earth
there's nothing wrong with vegan cheese
you awful, awful swan
I hope it's vegan cheese
I'm just eating cheese now
wanting to make Kento a curried chicken and mushroom pate with fig and cinnamon syrup sandwich for his birthday
wondering whether there's a more random assortment of late night snacks than pieces of curried chicken, a slice of mushroom pate and a spoonful of fig and cinnamon syrup
Talents for low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity, may alone suffice to elevate a man to the first honors in a single State
the McCollough effect
going down, down, down, if that's the only way
Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution
I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it
making mints out of emu semen for your own amusement
I certainly hope someone stabs you in the eye
you awful, awful man
seeing pal rape pic on a social media profile and trying to open the attachment
seeing a paperclip on a social media profile and trying to open the attachment
introducing five mice to Kento
wanting to treat Kento to Five Guys for his birthday
I was going to introduce him to a mouse but OK
wanting to have sex with Kento on his birthday is basically what we're saying
wanting to give Kento a Big Willie for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Steamboat Willie for his birthday
Since the cutmarked bones were tooth marked and there were no carcasses or disarticulation of any leftovers, the evidence pointed at the idea of Homo being a scavenger
Japan US Relations
Steamboat Willie
bongo flava
that you can apparently get a pizza thap cam cao cap for one hundred and nine thousand dongs in Vietnam
Oregon Colon The West Coast's Florida
An Oregon man who died in a Yellowstone National Park hot spring and dissolved when he fell into the boiling, acidic water, was looking to soak in the water, park officials said in a report
Vampire Colon The Masquerade Colon Bloodlines
burning your dong on pizza
rolling vegan pizza
rolling need
burning your tongue on vegan pizza
burning your tongue on pizza
the Rathlin Island Massacre
Pokemon Feces Eating and Glory Holes
a moody man child who rages and pouts with bratty indignation when the Pittsburgh acting community doesn't rush to fill roles in his debut because it contains elements like feces eating and glory holes
smashing up that mouth, slathering that donkey sauce, with no witnesses
if I only could, I'd make a deal with god, and get him to smash our mouths
Fiewell
Smouth
Smash Mouth
Milk Mouth, if you know what I mean
Chocolate Mouth
Milk Mouth
mouton medal, eh
Lemonade Mouth
Dick Dad culture
apologizing on behalf of cunts
Dong Son culture
I'm sorry
aroused cunts
aroused grunts
annoyed grunts
''tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English
d'oh
bluh
we've already added all the one word expressions of confounded frustration
what has
that's thrown you for a loop
you weren't kidding about being into butt stuff, you weirdo
she poops from there
that's disgusting, you're disgusting
The writers felt that by having the adults refuse to believe Big Bird despite the fact that he was telling the truth, they were scaring children into thinking that their parents would not believe them if they had been sexually abused
Batbin
into the garbage chute, flyboy
Stutch
Jeester
Kelan
Kenstopher
Biffleupagus
Burnie
Lacumoe
Bulou
Stoliver
Nayden
Carrie Fisher insists colon I never said Harrison Ford Eiffel Towered me with a walrus
wondering how anyone was able to feel anything at all given the epic amounts of alcohol and cocaine that must have preceded those couplings
Carrie Fisher insists colon I never said Harrison Ford was bad in bed
buying that little bag of jellybeans to cheer yourself up and eating the jellybeans and not really cheering up and now not having any jellybeans either
David Barber, I hardly know 'er
taking your shoes off and pouring champagne in them
taking your shoes off and throwing them in the lake
getting a new follower with an avatar which is a stock photo of a woman with shopping bags and the words "I am Rich, I can buy anything" superimposed over it, and thinking yeah, it's alright for you pal, you're a bot, this world was made for you
spending your life feeling like you need to apologize
human young are born with the ability to count Valentines amongst these clouds of dust
human young are born with the ability to count Valentines
amongst these clouds of dust
Pokemon Incompetent and Senile
The State Department confirms that, like the Pentagon and the Justice Department, it has not heard from anyone on President elect Trump's team, a week after the election
a barber specifically and solely for people named Ali
a barber specifically and solely for people named David
that's the dumbest joke I've ever made
oh no, who will cut their hair
David Barber has now resigned, according to the Shelby County Mayor's Office
Kushner is Trump's very own Grima Wormtongue
China websites block searches for 'Fatty Kim the Third'
Revealed Colon The Great Barrier Reef, Eiffel Tower and Sydney Opera House are Brits' favourite landmarks to wake up to
a smart mouthed kid who is incredibly oriental, so much to the point that he is ball shaped with small, stubby legs
separating the beef from the stew at a PETA convention
A reddish, and perhaps medium sized, dog from Colima
decoupling the men from the boys at a Boyz ii Men concert
decoupling the men from the boys at a NAMBLA convention
Carrison
Lookwell
refusing to allow Bacon to be a part of his fur trade with the Native Americans
a smart mouthed dog who is incredibly obese, so much to the point that he is ball shaped with small, stubby legs
A fat, and perhaps fattened, dog from Colima
Welsh Indians
wondering whether Karl Urban's overseer is referred to as Domurban
wondering whether Karl Urban's understudy is referred to as Suburban
Onanism
Utanism
Orangism
that technically speaking Swanald Trump is a swan
chanterelle
chaparral
the permanent campaign as waged by triumphalist rabble rousers and demagogues, abetted by people out of their depth and unfit for the jobs they will hold, gripped by grievance, resentment and lurking insecurity
that technically speaking Donald Trump is a man
sclerophyllous scrubland
that technically speaking Michelle Obama is an ape
bragging about achieving political office in West Virginia
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as a "lean penis, eh"
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as an "inhales pee"
confusing Frank Gaffney with Dean Gaffney
the hole's only natural enemy is the pile
West Virginia mayor resigns following controversial Facebook post referring to Michelle Obama as an "ape in heels"
vanuigi
trukario
karoshi
yardage
and I do mean footage
topping for James Avery in Uncle Fill VII then they reused the footage in Big Willie Style VII and didn't pay you
Uncle Fill
RIP James Avery
not pulling out of Uncle Phil
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
The Las Vegas culture is important because it was one of the earliest cultures in South America to practice agriculture banging Uncle Phil, Big Willie style
The Las Vegas culture is important because it was one of the earliest cultures in South America to practice agriculture
banging Uncle Phil, Big Willie style
punta music
banging Uncle Phil
scamming Carlton Banks
scamming banks
skanking bangs
banging skanks
sydney fruit leathers
things that don't come out right
she, two, three, oven
brie au four
being shocked that Richard Branson is still alive
baked brie
wanting to give Kento an assgay for his birthday
Richard Branson reveals prototype for supersonic passenger aircraft, apparently having realised commercial orbital passenger transit is never going to be economical
spitting in your own mouth
being in a four way with those seven and two thirds short tons of women
being in a four way with those three guys from System of a Down
wanting to give Kento a throatgay for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a nosegay for his birthday
being in a four way with those three guys with Down syndrome
Rabbi Bagel Rosenstein
Mo Cheeks
Pokemon Jammu and Kashmir
Cheeksville
Tittytown
Gooch City
Now we have just learnt, thanks to the British media, that we had Africa's most famous lion all along, an icon!
Poonch District
the Lewd Jock's Bra Test
the World's Best Jacket
giving Drench Vibe a bad Amazon rating
what you did to that medium sized reddish kid on the steps in Drench Vibe
what you did to that medium sized reddish dog on the steps in Bench Drive
dat cumberland gap
melungeons
what you did to that hobo in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
medium sized reddish Brian Peppers
medium sized reddish chili peppers
I don't ever want to feeeeeeel, like I did that day
what you did to that homo under the bridge
The Apprentice Colon Who Wants to Be President
Trump to announce executive order allowing random person to assume the office of president
There is no loophole that allows a random person to assume the office of president
nicknaming your vagina "the fig newton"
making fig newtons
nicknaming your penis "The Tangerine Knight"
The Tangerine Knight
sin signalling
watching the laser induced plasma channel
virtue signalling
Kim Kardashian Warned She Could Bleed To Death If She Has A Third Pregnancy
Donald Trump and Nigel Farage meet, fuse into single entity upon shaking hands
faggot voters
#insultingtrumpishness
#insultingturkishness
Trump also objected to the fact that she ate two whole turkeys just prior to the election day weigh in
it came down to whether the Constitutionally mandated "weight of the body of upwards of a half tonne" for female Presidents referred to a short ton or a long ton
wondering how the election went over in Fatworld
wondering if there even is a constitutional method for determining the presidency if the president elect and vice president refuse to be sworn in at all
Colestein Veglin
live and learn
feeling like we could have saved a lot of people a lot of pain if that talk had taken place a year ago
During their private White House meeting on Thursday, Mr Obama walked his successor through the duties of running the country, and Mr Trump seemed surprised by the scope, said people familiar with the meeting
the one with Dennis Rodman
the one where Joey gets fired from the popular daytime drama "Our Glorious Leader Will Crush Western Imperialism" for questioning the divinity of Kim Jong un
the one where Carol's lesbianism is denounced as Western bourgeois decadence and she is summarily executed
the one where Rachel dumps Ross because, in comparison to the unearthly virility and unparalleled charisma of the Great Leader, he appears no more than a frail, emasculated eunuch
the one with Excellent Horse Like Rachel
the one where Gunther denounces Ross to the Ministry of State Security
the one where the gang waits in line for seven hours at Central Perk for their daily ration half a cup of rice each
the one where Joey and Chandler get free Manbang and then they are both executed for being counterrevolutionaries
it's like you're always stuck in second gear, unlike the glorious people's most excellent revolution which continues to accelerate every year
Kim Il sung warned that there'd be days like this, but he did not warn you, Imperialist backslider
you're still in bed at ten and work began at eight, you will be executed, enemy of the state
J#U#C#H#E#
Pyonghattan
fuck date kill, Earthlink, a straight guy, Sylvia Browne
Michael Jordan Colon Chaos in the Windy City
fuck marry kill, Taylor Hanson, Zac Hanson, Isaac Hanson
that you'll be drafted into an army to fight utterly pointless wars of either aggression or defence but hey, at least you'll get back into shape and do a bit of traveling
recognizing that we are all going to perish in nuclear fire before next year is out or be shipped off to camps or invaded by what is undoubtedly now Fascist Russia or whatever, but always trying to find a silver lining, such as a bit of peace and quiet
kind of enjoying the brief silence from the Bernie supporters on social media after they realized that no, the election would not change outcomes and no, the prince electors would not alter the vote after the fact and no, there would be no do overs
look, we're a hundred and twenty thousand regrets in, they can't all be golden any more
I think I was combining the "life in plastic, it's fantastic" line with the seagulls are attracted to both Bernie Sanders and plastic, and maybe I added the vultures because he's so close to death
truly a regret for this week of all weeks
I'm not sure I do either
I do not understand that reference
drawing a picture of Bernie Sanders undressing a Barbie doll while a mixed flock of seagulls and vultures circles overhead
Barbie is a party girl who lives in a party world
Milhouse is a boy who lives in Shelbyville
he can't handle a big sock
Jimmy Fallon, if you're reading this, feel free to use that joke
must be a small sock
Donald Trump gets penis lodged in sock
Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black
Pitchman gets penis lodged in sock
Chick gets tampons lodged in spine
Man gets chopstick lodged in spine
holding out for a gyno 'til the end of the night
Androjet
Gynojet
Gyrojet
Man gets chopstick lodged in penis
don't google it
this is getting a little weird
paying that ant colony to leave you alone with their young for an afternoon, no questions asked
asking that giant dung beetle to peg you
encouraging that bee to sting you on your ballsack
letting that bee Sting you on your colon
letting that bee sting you on your ballsack
Paris really has suffered so much
sounds painful
Paris attacks Colon Bataclan to reopen with Sting concert
Seal's tin cock
seal's cock tin
classic Kento
Kento freaks larvae
drinking mead wine to celebrate successfully robbing another Japanese bank with Edwin Lutyens
a kestrel for a knave
having the hugest colon
bottoming for Greg Colon in Biggest Colon in NBA History VII
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered colon as the biggest colon in NBA history'
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest beak in NBA history' #gander
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history' #gender
Greg Oden Colon 'I'll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history'
Ministers are concerned that despite large differences in the quality of novels, they all seem to cost the same
They broke it, America bought it
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Alfred Hitchcock and Jonathan Livingston Seagull while you're high on plastic fumes
the curious cans of WHO HASH
taking the last can of WHO HASHN'T
taking the last can of WHO HASH
Troodon Frank Lloyd Dat
something something Roman Polanski something SUNY Purchase something Julianna Rose Mauriello asleep under the tree something Nutcracker something Christmas
Hip Hop Kids Colon Hip Hop Homeroom Math
Always singing, she appeared as a child in Party Scene of The Nutcracker at SUNY Purchase, asleep under the Christmas tree
a new cartoon from Seth MacFarlane
Part Time President, coming spring twenty seventeen on FOX
Trump "is talking with his advisers about how many nights a week he will spend in the White House"
being filled with disgusting snot
Fallout IV Macho Claws
Skyrim "Macho Man" Randy Savage Dragon Mod
Skyrim Thomas the Tank Engine Mod HD
Twelve Inch Frank Lloyd Wright
the bears are who we thought they were
We have just begun to consider ways of building dialogue with the future Donald Trump administration and channels we will be using for those purposes
doing diddly poo offensively
jimmoraplayoffs dot com
it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake in lazy town
Apollo sees through the crow's lie and throws the crow, goblet, and snake into the sky
wondering whether they give out EhDs in Canada
Cylon Frank Lloyd Wright
the death of Robert Vaughn, PhD
it's impossible to wear a frown in candy town
a truculent chinese meal
a succulent chinese meal
Ndabaningi Sithole
the death of Leonard Cohen
Greco Buddhism
lottery in June, corn be heavy soon
Salian Beans
Discus Stu has ouzo for two zo
Ripuarian Franks
The Libertarian Party, in its infinite wisdom, used this year, when millions of Americans were looking for an alternative, to field a candidate who couldn't name a single foreign leader and who seemed like he was, well, stoned, half the time
the Chinese sexagenary cycle
Bamboo Annals
Pokemon Tigris and Euphrates
Oriental alabaster
can I put a fifteen pound bowling ball up my butt
He then dryly remarks that if McCoy's engrams were impressed in a computer, the resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining
Werewolf Colon The Beast Among Us
eastern ass growls
that unlike other Australian owls, eastern grass owls nest on the ground among vegetation
"She is gregarious and has tons of ho," a source tells the outlet
"She is gorgeous and has tons of hair," a source tells the outlet
oo oo oo
you've taken me for granted because I please you
They shared a meal of salmon, roasted carrots and vegan pizza
Birds can be drawn to the scent of plastic
No Bollock S Club VII
No Pollack S Club VII
eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes
Gino Ginelli
the first time Trump picked up a golf club, he shot a man on Fifth Avenue just to watch him die
According to his official biography, all of his operas are "better than any in the history of music"
the first time Trump picked up a golf club, he shot a thirty eight under par round on North Korea's only golf course, including eleven holes in one
I resent the notion that Donald Trump's health is anything less than the most positive of anyone in America #MAGA
play ball is excellent way get head injury
that chance gets much higher depending on whether he plays ball with Putin
the rather encouraging knowledge that according to SSA dot gov a man of Donald Trump's age has a baseline chance of slightly under one in ten of just dropping dead in the next four years
Democrat incumbent Blaine Eaton won reelection over Republican Mark Tullos by drawing the long straw
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Natalie Portman to want to bang you, and you probably always were
the painful knowledge that you are too old and out of shape for Stephanie from Lazytown to want to bang you
Abe not visiting the shrine prompted a Japanese nationalist named Yoshihiro Tanjo to cut off his own little finger in protest and mail it to the LDP
RIGGED
Donald Trump's team has removed the statement on his website to ban all Muslims from the US
Wikileaks, which released troves of Clinton emails and Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson
drawing a picture of Donald Trump rubbing Shaquille O'Neal until his wish came true three times
DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies
We need to be elevating the Pied Piper candidates so that they are leaders of the pack and tell the press to take them seriously
David Duke Thanks Julian Assange for Trump Victory
that on the bright side, Trump doesn't exactly look after his health and is in the danger zone for all kinds of sudden death age related diseases
Gino Bartali
lying to a blind child
When a young boy asked Trump if he was Batman last year, the Republican frontrunner answered in the affirmative
President Trump names Kevin McCallister new head of Homeland Security
a series of incremental time travellers each plucked from mere moments in time before the other, creating divergent futures but leaving the past unaltered until they arrive, en masse, and vote for their chosen political candidate
either that or some kind of genie thing
seeing a meme showing a physical resemblance to Biff Tannen and wondering whether there was actually some kind of thing like that going on, like he went back in time and gave a copy of "New York Real Estate Trends of the Twentieth Century" to his grandfat
Jeri Ryan Seven of Nine's Breast Expansion Star Trek Voyager
it's nineteen eighty four
oh wait, it's not nineteen eighty eight
wondering how Hillary could have possibly lost when she had Madonna AND Bon Jovi on her side
Republican Donald Trump has been elected the forty fifth president of the United States, according to the New York Times and Associated Press, who called the election in the early hours of the morning on Wednesday
Brexit Origins Colon Toblerone
that you know little and care nothing about her politics, but Tammy Duckworth is the worst name for a human being ever
It's so great our enemies are making themselves clear so that when we get in to the White House, we know where we stand
Pokemon Gary Stoner and Jill Homeopath
Pokemon Gyna and Chee na
people's refucking of Chee na
I'm president of the Italian American Anti Defamation League, and this really burns my cannoli
First results come in Dixville Notch
Dixville Notch
wanting to give Kento a seriously, what the hell damn guy for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a Rotten Toblerone for his birthday
saying "no no, you don't understand, it's just Toblerone"
brauning your scanties in the middle of a big date
being scared to google the sexual uses of Toblerone
feeling like you're THIS close to uncovered the sinister global conspiracy linking the Toblerone crisis, the Trump campaign, Brexit, and the sale of Eva Braun's scanties
The Toblerone line is a ten km long defensive line made of dragon's teeth that was built during the second World War between Bassins and Prangins, in the Canton of Vaud, Switzerland
#tobleremain
#toblerone #enemiesofthepeople
all the people swearing off ever buying Toblerone again because it looks ridiculous, even though it's the same shitty chocolate as ever and you'll be able to get the old design if you, you know, go abroad ever
all this election coverage clogging up your news feed and keeping you from getting important Toblerone updates
Andrew Wakefield, the debunked fraud behind the global vaccine autism panic, endorses Trump after private meeting
Guido Fawkes doesn't seem to realise that third party ads are usually tailored to the reader's own browsing history
actually enjoying cumming to the oriignal version of the Cooking By the Book song
we can make it if we try
I guess that if they were the chances that Trump would have snatched them up is near one hundred percent
wondering if they were the knickers she was wearing when she died
coming to actually enjoy the oriignal version of the Cooking By the Book song
#foolbritannia
It is the antithesis of respect for the dignity of the human person to use a dead child as a political prop to lobby for your presidential candidate the day before an election
See Thru Chinese Kitchen in Chicago
Those sickened had all eaten at ten different restaurants in the area, but local health officials couldn't find a common food that may have caused their illness
Toblerexit
Toblerone is facing a mountain of criticism for changing the shape of its famous triangular candy bars in British stores, a move it blames on rising costs
You gave up the fun of eating potato chips, looking for the big ones, the small ones, the ones shaped liked Elvis
Fredric Baur dreamed up the original Pringles can
The lady LICKS Pringles when she gets really hungry
OVERCOVER STEWART COPELAND ABDUCTS OREGON GRANDMOTHER RENTING ESCABECHE ACROSS MYSPACE COMMUNITY
Undercover sting nabs California mother selling ceviche through Facebook group
licking the inside of a Pringles can
a dungeon moniker
monkeeing around
being too busy singing to put your dog down
being too busy singing to put anybody down
I don't think they're massive on the internet over there so I don't think they had many opportunities to research
being tired of monkeying around
Grab Them By The Pu$Sy
gripping them by the nuts
girl nut grippers
squirrel nut zippers
necco wafers
Coco Pops received two stars out of five on the Australian Government's health star ratings
Coco Crisp
Along the way, they begin to wonder if anyone really realizes the significance of the Pope's visit as they encounter shady characters who are exploiting the Pope's image to make a fast buck
Looks like a couple of punks are gonna be taking the last train to Clarksville
That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat
the setup is familiar for some reason
My name is Helen, and I live with these four rock stars in a house you're just never gonna believe
When Marty takes a nap on the copy machine, numerous duplicate Martys are set loose in the mansion
CHARMANDER used TORCH FLESH AND BONES!
It did go deep, and it did cut through the bone, so it IS dangerous
Pokemon Torch Flesh and Bones
Plasma Torch Flesh and Bones
teachers, leave them dogs alone!
releasing the hounds
A Michigan man who suspected neighborhood canines of destroying his Donald Trump lawn signs was arrested Saturday night after he held the hounds at gunpoint until police responded
A Michigan man who suspected neighborhood children of destroying his Donald Trump lawn signs was arrested Saturday night after he held the youths at gunpoint until police responded
Leaked reports claim that Trump will be allowed back on Twitter as soon as he cleans his room and finishes his geometry homework
Donald Trump's own aides have banned him from Twitter, report says
making way for what turned out to be a kid ambulance the other day and being none too pleased about it
making way for what turned out to be a dog ambulance the other day and being none too pleased about it
you and your clitoris
the Harrisonfor Shavers
the Markham Waxers
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the vegan cream you ate like two hours ago, if you know what I mean
wondering how many crazy cat ladies think that the only way to provide for the medical needs of their "children" is to personally build a hospital for them, instead of, you know, looking for an existing vet
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the cream you ate like two hours ago, if you know what I mean
wondering why you feel bloated and nauseous, then remembering all the cream you ate like two hours ago
My first reaction's a baseball bat, but I know I'm not to take that in my own hands
creating a modern democracy that explicitly rejects monarchy in all its forms by creating an electoral college explicitly resembling that used to elect Holy Roman Emperors since the twelve hundreds
DIDO electors
faithless electors
dragging the Gummi Bears down to the juicing room at once
The Gummis are nearly out of Gummiberry juice so Grammi needs to make more, but the spigot is stuck so Zummi, Grammi, Cubbi, and Cavin go to the stumping pation, I mean pumping station, to fix the problem
the camel from Doctor Snuggles being one of the most soul harrowing, utterly terrifying things you have ever seen
Granny Toots is in dire need of a new hospital for her cats, but isn't able to since she doesn't have enough money to do so, so the Doctor has a plan colon he enters a balloon race where he can win M pounds
that green I am not
The Treacle Tree talks Doctor Snuggles into building it wings
I am not that old
imagining Palpatine screaming "YOU AND YOUR TRADITIONS!" at Yoda as he blasts him with force lightning whilst arguing over the times in which it is appropriate to rub your nose against your partner's clitoris
spontoons
you and your traditions
the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris
We are not only looking to root out those who engage in the trafficking of minors, but through our Office for Victim Assistance, we offer a lifeline to minors to help them escape from a virtual prison no person ever deserves
this ham gum is all bones
wanting to force Kento through a fine mesh screen for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an actual shit sandwich with a moist maker for his birthday
wanting to make Kento an actual shit sandwich for his birthday
making America moist again
wondering if the libations of condoms continue into the Paralympics
turning up over an hour early for the fireworks
Bonin' at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics
San Antonio Cop Fired For Giving Homeless Person An Actual Shit Sandwich
wanting to make Kento DAMP for his birthday
wanting to make Kento moist for his birthday
the Leftovers State
the Simpsons are going to Delaware
having impure thoughts about a teenage moist maker
wanting to make Kento a Bobbie sandwich for his birthday but forgetting the moist maker
having literally never heard of the Bobbie before just now, though the concept of a sandwich made from Thanksgiving leftovers seems so basic that anyone attempting to give it a signature name seems arrogant at best and pathetic at worst
Delaware's signature Bobbie sandwich could have been the 'Winona'
crossing the Um Bongo
you've got to be Shittim me
crossing the Jordan
crossing the Delaware
crossing the Rubicon
While he did some shopping in London, he largely did so within the confines of the Paralympic Village because of self consciousness about only speaking French
The act of an American boy ejaculating onto a British girl's vagina, also known as 'yanking on her harbour'
Ashera
your choice of spoon
I owe you one hug
something something Jerry Sandusky something joins ISIS something Bryan Singer something something rhymic ratatata tat sounds something I fucking hate this world
ISIS seizing boys as young as nine to fight in Mosul, UN warns
being unnaptised
naptime
waking up feeling uncomfortably hot and staying awake watching absolute garbage on YouTube for five hours even though you have to drive somewhere at like ten
Blaster Master Colon Blasting Again
Scaphism
vagintroducing yourself
kind of wanting to write a regret, and then accidentally having it turn into a semiautobiographical rant
kirbyjenner
the VAGINTRODUCTORY king of Scotland
really wishing Hayden Christensen would pocket sand someone on camera just once
wherever I'm staying, you're going away
Beyonce Prepped for Her Bowel Spur Show By Taking the Hugest Dump
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Breeding The Most Magnificent Family Of Owls
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Eating a Bag of Spicy Cheetos, Reading Language Log, and Masturbating to Photos of Her Ex From Five Years Ago
Beyonce Prepped for Her Super Bowl Show By Eating a Bag of Cheetos, Drinking Five Mountain Dews, And Calling Four Hundred Children Aimbot Cheater Faggots While Playing Call Of Duty
It is characteristic of England that she could not rouse herself to a decision
Chief Wahoo
Old Gutnish
wishing that each wikipedia page had a view count on it, because you really want to know how many people have needed information on, say, "Benin at the twenty twelve Summer Paralympics"
building a robot designed solely to sexually pleasure a woman and naming it Bill Clittron Five Thousand and One
slap slap slappin' on heaven's door
Simon says call me Al
the PENULTIMATE king of Scotland
the last king of Scotland
huge hairy nuts bursting with milk
the explosion in pro Trump sites in Veles means the market has now become crowded, making it harder to earn money
The clown incidents in Brazil and worldwide lead to professional clowns protesting in Rio Grande do Sul in late October
A clown who was seen frightening people in the street in Rhyl, who was stopped by police, was revealed to be a wanted man, and a scary clown was also seen in Merthyr
a teenage boy was hospitalized for a cut to his head after a clown threw a log at him in an alleyway in Dinnington, South Yorkshire, near Rotherham
a man in Bardstown mistook a woman wearing a white afghan out walking her dog for a clown and fired a warning shot with an AR fifteen to scare the clown
taking a photograph of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton while Prince Andrew watches from a palm tree and masturbates
wondering what the odds are that, given the crazy shit that inevitably went down at Jeffrey Epstein's island sex orgies, there is at least one genuine photo out there of Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton
hand jobbing Peter to pay Paul
robbing Peter Andre to pay pal
robbing Peter to pay Paul
Simon says call me Peter
tick tick tick tick
drawing a picture of the real Kento turning up at the home of bemused podcaster the real Christopher Lydon and pointing to a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus before putting on an impromptu rendition of 'I Want It That Way'
fictionalizing Kento
Vladimir Putin Swipes Right On Steven Seagal
trying to frame a joke in which Putin assembles his A Team of Steven Seagal, Julian Assange, Donald Trump and so on, but not quite having the punchline yet
Vladimir Putin Signs Order Making Steven Seagal a Russian Citizen
Yolo Ikeda
the Kentocaust
wanting to give Kento a Dutch oven for his birthday
antediluvian emission
crepuscular emission
quotidian emission
nocturnal emission
manual emission
bottoming for Maneul Tradicion in Feel His VD Nads VII
manual transmission
it's the most wonderful time of the year
manual tradition
anal tradition
oral tradition
government by Myke Hawke
Myke Hawkestocracy
kakistocracy
dressage and chill
chilling out with your pony in the stableyard
rubbing one out with your crew in the bathroom at church
chilling out with your crew in the schoolyard
Kairo Seijuro
A South Florida man was arrested on Halloween after he was driving naked through a Boynton Beach neighborhood with electrical wires protruding from his penis, police said
Damn Hebrideans! They ruined the Hebrides!
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true, and then the witch doctor he Eiffel Towered me with a walrus, oo ee oo aa aa ting tang and he stole my sandwich oo ee oo aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang
British Banker who tortured two Hong Kong prostitutes to death reveals his extraordinary weightloss after two years on prison food
I have watched with understanding and interest the progress of your great and superhuman work in regenerating your country
creating Grand Mal Auto, the open world sandbox game where you spawn in any on of hundreds of locations in a fully realized three D city and collapse with a seizure, game over
checking out my gravel pit
how ironic it was that nobody wanted to know about Jimmy Ray
your amis
Jack Frost done lost his mind
finding Britney Spears' oeuvre hard to listen to because of the agonal respirations
regrets about Genuwine
completely forgetting Alanis Morisette recorded "You Oughta Know", even though come to think of it you know it's about Dave Coulier
Trump Defeats Hillary in Minnesota High School Mock Vote
finding it really hard to fault Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" other than that it's kind of lame
Hebrideans are an extremely welcoming people, famous for our friendliness, and our doors are always open
pubetots
there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world
tubetops
Michael "Hawk" Hegstrand
Bringing life to a screaming fish
Bringing life to a dried fish
liquorice whip gonna whip your ass
yellow smiley offers me X
wanting to offer to eat a sandwich with Kento down the phone for his birthday but not actually go through with it
eating Kento's sandwich
burglarizing Jewel's bustier
busting Jewel's burgeoning booze budget
King Baby
the straight guy in your straight guy
it breaks the east London bar mould, with hip hop on the stereo, a smartly modish setting, vintage French posters on the wall and some of the best cocktails to be found in Bethnal Green's burgeoning booze scene
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the heroin out of Kento's rectum trope
WIDEMOUTH BLINDCAT's Whiskers
the batteries in your urethra
Satan's Whiskers
the peppers in your pumpkins
the gin in your martini
A Story For KentO
Halomonadaceae
the clams on your linguine
A Story For Ke$ha
The barbs scraped against her rectal walls, tearing out chunks of flesh as the feline pilot extraordinaire withdrew his penis from her virgin ass
going 'wahey'
going away
coming back
Pneumexico
Pokemon Ananias and Sapphira
until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished
planting more than one kind of seed in a field
Waler horses
David Blumpkins
David Pumpkins being less endowed than advertised
bottoming for a super size Pumpkaboo in The Bamboozling Forest! VII
anagignoskomena
regrets about picture blowing
Mr Blow The Picture For Me
When it came out of the ground, she threw a Poke Ball at it and successfully caught it
Pumpkaboo made its debut in The Bamboozling Forest!, where Jessie stripped over a Super Size Pumpkaboo in a forest
Pumpkaboo made its debut in The Bamboozling Forest!, where Jessie tripped over a Super Size Pumpkaboo in a forest
David Pumpkaboos
Pumpkins Will and Smith
Pokemon Pumpkins and Peppers
Pokemon Will and Smith
While mining for ore, Will and Smith witness the arrival of a strange beacon from outer space
drawing a picture of Randy Savage snapping into a slim jim, if you know what I mean
dude please your pay per lick event was a joke
drawing a picture of Macho Man Randy Savage having Hulk Hogan for three minutes of playtime in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
guessing that Hulk Hogan probably has the strength to move both refrigerators and color TVs
wondering which nation will be the first to outlaw billionaires and or declare war on one
where we can try out new things and figure out the effect on society
Explored BDSM in SF w big group of friends tonight
If you're a single digit millionaire like Hulk Hogan, you have no effective access to our legal system
Switzerland possessed the most disgusting and miserable people and political system
giving Samantha Geimer a mud pinkie
Teddy suggest killing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts
Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts
Les Lye would play the part of a Latin American military officer with a sword in hand preparing to order a firing squad to execute one of the children actors, who were standing in front of a post
divesting the hell out of that mink
Once pulled Abraham Lincoln from his pants
Baggin' Saggin' Barry starring Kenan Thompson as a cool dude with baggy pants
sedating Mud Pinkie MVP
pumping a divested mink
meeting David Pumpkins
feeling sorry for Kenan Thompson because the guy has been doing bottomlessly shitty sketch comedy for over twenty years, and a shitty comedian of his age should be focusing exclusively on bottomlessly shitty film
David Spade is reportedly attached to direct
wondering if they'll be able to get the inevitably terrible David Pumpkins movie into theaters by Halloween twenty seventeen or if they'll have to push it back to the holidays or, even worse, the garbage dump that is January
sketches that say 'I'm David Pumpkins' instead of 'I'm David Pumpkins' or just you know giving a number of b boy skeletons to include if it's that important
Fastest Dick sucker in the Northwest
recipes that say 'two cups of chopped onion' instead of 'one chopped onion' or just you know giving a weight of onion to include if it's that important
Fastest Hotdog shooter in the Northwest
someone asking you what your favorite time of the year is and you responding "DICK SUCKIN TIME"
Sir Arthur Only Just Met 'Er
Sir Arthur Quiller Couch
her actions bear no similarities whatsoever to Nixon's criminalization of his presidency, and his efforts to corrupt much of the executive branch
her mouth the mischief he doth seek
finding "having pterosaur sex with agent fiftyseven" in your autofill cache
The Wicker Bra
Suck The Left One In
Titty the Thirteenth
Cleavagefield
The Bare Wench Project
The Witches of Breastwick
House on Hooter Hill
The Hills Have Thighs
The word 'clam' appears to be used by clams themselves though
Both of these characters rely on the premise that it's funny to watch an old man in silly clothes facefuck an overweight Asian man
Both of these characters rely on the premise that it's funny to watch an old man in silly clothes say nonsensical things
only being able to afford David Turnips
David Pumpkins being less amusing than advertised
when you were a kid and you had Hop tu Naa turnips except they were just turnips because your family was too poor to afford pumpkins
bank busting bra budgets
Hop tu Naa
Pterosaur portrayed as spawn of Satan
stealing Jewel's teeth from the communal laundry room
Jewel S A
Joodse Z A
Jew S A
Chatters reconstructed the facial features of the skull with the result that Kennewick Man resembled Patrick Stewart, a Caucasian actor on the television program Star Trek Colon The Next Generation
activity directed towards the success or failure of a political party, candidate for partisan political office, or partisan political group
one wiener, next to another wiener
A lone voice in the crowd started a short lived "Weiner" chant, but few added their voices to his cause
BAD TEETH NO BRA
BAD TEETH NO BAR
it's bad that people get lonely, ain't nothin new
when you're being Eiffel Towered and the moon hits your eye that's amore
when you're being Eiffel Towered and your saliva becomes empowered
when you're being Eiffel Towered and your poop becomes empowered
Fernie Swastikas Captures Zeitgeist, Becomes First Write In Candidate To Be Elected President Of The United States of America
mexicaning your walls in the Build O Wall O
MEXICANing your balls in the Shine O Ball O
polishing your balls in the Shine O Ball O
Butts County now in 'exceptional drought'
an argumentative, perpetually horny middle aged man
the Fernie Swastikas
Dong Energy considers sale of oil and gas assets to focus on windfarms
Nog
polishing your head in the Shine O Ball O
The Official Diarrhea Song
Overcooked Colon The Lost Morsel
the eagle eyed among you will have spotted that there was no need to talk about anuses at all
concealing a pair of lemurs in a purpose built cage within your anus with the approval of your Japanese friend, two aye aye hush hutch, Hito aye
Pokemon Acetabular and Glenoid
tearing your labrum
honking to clown porn, hi
gassing the clowns
Mellonism
Germany announces 'zero tolerance' policy against creepy clowns ahead of Halloween
you mom's bra spaghetti
you mom
your bra
her bra
her clothes
your clothes
the kind of watermelonlike smell your fabric softener imparts to your clothes
help! can u get prole apps after fist time hav sex
prole apps
Wang, Bavaria
Pokemon Going Into a Room Together and Doing Ash
Pokemon Going Into a Room Alone and Doing It
going into a room alone and doing it
wanking to elderly porn, hi
losing yourself in the music, the moment, owning it, never letting it go
moving yourself, you always live your life never thinking of the future
having seen so many naked chicks riding clams by now that you'd think it would lose its lustre
giving away septuagenariansinswimsuits dot com to the DNC
watching pseudoscopic porn
really wanting a crossover of Star Trek and Popeye, where Popeye is the bridge science officer and chuckles "faskinatin'" into that glowy stereoscope on his desk
We have a protester!
McQueary claimed a loss of reputation, in addition to his dismissal from his salaried coaching position for his role as a whistleblower
abnormal circles
how cun u tell u r penchant
wondering why a fan of a violent, mentally ill billionaire with a penchant for locking up his enemies without trial would like Batman
the guy behind him in the Batman shirt, but not the new Batman logo, the old logo, because kids these days why I oughta
"Just thinking to myself right now, we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump," the Republican presidential nominee said during a rally here on Thursday
Please Re Elect Gerald
the happiness your toys bring to children all over the galaxy is your gift
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more
you can't tell me it's not worth trying for
when the going gets tough, it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
Roxanne
that's sensible
I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at a red light
I had forgotten that your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington
get out of my dreams, get into my windowless van
Billy Ocean started it
this place is so fucking dark
getting found by a hiker six months later
getting reported missing, baby
getting dumped by the side of the road
getting rolled up in a carpet
getting into my car
getting out of my dreams
feels pretty racist
wondering what if feels like to live in an actual country whose wikipedia article is shorter than Dalaran's
piercing David Hyde Pierce's hide
Crepitus
dottongsi
wondering what drove the schism in WoW players that resulted in an entire page of different wikis, none of them Wikipedia, when you search "Dalaran wikipedia"
Dalaran
Doc Naked
Marty Naked
Bif Naked
singing out a lovely song under the pale moonlight
drawing a picture of Hillary Clinton being Washington Monumented by Bernie Sanders and the GOP elephant
wondering if it would be possible to ingest a dye which would concentrate itself only in the cells of your hair as it grows, without giving you scalp cancer
dongledingers
"and your savings are on fire because the pound is worth less and less every day"
also never having to listen to anybody who says "Tories are good with the economy" again, because you can now just say "austerity's meagre gains were wiped out completely by Brexit, from which we will not fully recover in your lifetime"
as your savings burn
that sure CETA's progress doesn't bode well for the immediate trade future of your own nation, but at least you'll get to watch as blustering political opportunists get deflated time and again
the whole CETA thing being amusing because there's no chance of it being ratified by all EU member states for years at least even if Wallonia would let Belgium sign, but it's being presented as a too good to miss bargain deal anyway
wearing a hoodie over your pajamas because you're too lazy to get properly dressed
really enjoying the fake orange taste of those soluble vitamins a little too much
It was not clear if Team Clinton sought to publicize the photo to show Sanders, a champion of the working class, at an exclusive locale or if the goal was to circulate an unflattering picture of a septuagenarian in a swimsuit
etc, whatevs, lol lol lol
Taking anything she says to heart after she drunkenly fell asleep on your floor after basically telling at you for not having fixed your mental hang ups, originating from early parental death, yet
when she says that you cry to manipulate people without thinking for a second that she might JUST be being enough a horrid cunt right now to be making you cry lol lol
that everything is a test with her but you don't realise until she's decided you've failed
that she doesn't realise that "you can kind of be a bitch sometimes" is still true
Ainu woman with mouth tattoos and live bear
This November is the Wikipedia Asian Month
Belgium Canada relations
disodium helide
giving Gov Mike Pence my coupons
We had no idea we had skidded off the runway until Gov Pence came to the back of the plane and said we may have done that
swinging your flat taxes from a noose
being a Jill Stein for Halloween
National Walrus Security Tusk Force
National Ballot Security Task Force
QUEUEnuts
peennuts
the Donald violently emerges from Kowalski's peanuts when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
The National Enquirer later reported that Trump refused to go out with Hayek because she's "too short" and this would make The Donald look like a "hulking, predatory ogre" standing next to her instead of "a puckish, malevolent goblin"
Project Alamo
thaladeggthandwicheth
thaladocracy
Drumpfsdeputationshauptschluss
slamming the media colon
Trump slams the media colon 'It's the greatest pile on in American history'
having sandwich sex with a dinosaur
having dinosaur sex with a sandwich
finding "having dinosaur sex with a sandwich" in your autofill cache
finding "marrying a sandwich" in your autofill cache
wanting to give Kento a male ORANGE order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a male order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a mail order bride for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a subscription to Steak n Shake New Magazine for his birthday, if you know what I mean
wanting to give Kento subscriptions to Brides magazine and International Sandwich & Food to KENTO News Magazine, formerly International Sandwich & Snack News, for his birthday
The women remained stoned for days
wanting to give Kento subscriptions to Brides magazine and International Sandwich & Food to Go News Magazine, formerly International Sandwich & Snack News, for his birthday
the Sootyz Crisis
the Sweepz Crisis
the Suez Crisis
French Flanders
thalassocracy
wondering what percentage of mid nineties Chicago Bulls games are being pirate broadcast on Manbang right this minute
Dennis Rodman is believed to be an avatar of Kim Il sung, brought back to defeat the Imperialist West by acting as a coach, guide, and lover to Kim Jong un
Daughtercannon
Songun
wondering whether Juche makes an exception for Dennis Rodman or whether he's still considered subhuman for being non Korean
publicists jerking Sikhs
Reichsdeputationshauptschluss
jerks seeking publicity
publicity seeking jerks
Based on the rounded letter "w's" of the handwriting, believed to represent breasts, and the slashing and stuffing of theater seats, Brussel thought something about sex was troubling the bomber, possible an oedipus complex
His first two bombs drew little attention
Relieving Knight's burden on their land, and in their hair, and on their surcoat, and a little bit went on their sword
Relieving Knight's burden on their land
drawing a picture of Kento getting ready to slide his dick into a croque madame but losing the nerve at the last second
crypt skiddies
an outlandish people, calling themselves Egyptians, using no craft nor feat of merchandise, who have come into this realm, and gone from shire to shire, and place to place, in great company, and used great subtlety and crafty means to deceive the people
script kiddies
that you will eventually dye alone
feeling the bony fingers of death and smelling its stench upon yourself and being like death, are you fingering your own butthole before you come knocking or what, that is disgusting
getting poochy
your hair slowly turning grey without anybody to remark on it and tell you if it's OK or if you should dye it
wrinkles
starch masks
my circle is normal
memorizing every BLT filling
not hooking up with pastrami on rye
how is prangent formed
marrying a sandwich
I went two flips up in the air, two flips in front of him
bride fancier's lament
Trump responded Tuesday to Vice President Biden's statement that he wishes he was in high school so he could take Trump "behind the Steak n Shake," saying "I'd love that"
Trump responded Tuesday to Vice President Biden's statement that he wishes he was in high school so he could take Trump "behind the gym," saying "I'd love that"
These paid tributes included on field color guard, enlistment and reenlistment ceremonies, performances of the national anthem, full field flag details, ceremonial first pitches and puck drops
bottoming for Judd Hirsch in Independence Gay VII
It was Judd Hirsch fucking you, moron!
It was Judd Hirsch, you fucking moron!
bird shagger's dick
bird fancier's lung
Bricklayer's Penis being one of the most harrowing diseases of the Industrial Revolution era
Jane Haining
There was no active learning by the pupils as you told the pupils about the characterisation during a clip of Jurassic Park and instructed them to write down the points you made
tricking a straight guy from West Virginia into bragging about kind of loving circumcising a pony
being relatively sure that bricklayer's penis, such as remains, probably doesn't work all that reliably
being relatively sure that Russia's nuclear arsenal, such as remains, probably doesn't work all that reliably
the mercury is rising and it's not all that surprising
Trump Colon My foreign policy plan would start not just WWIII but also WWIV, WWV, and WWVI
A podcaster broke his penis during a vigorous sex session with his boyfriend when they were trying not to wake the walrus
Trump Colon Clinton's foreign policy plan would start WWIII
A bricklayer broke his penis during a vigorous sex session with his girlfriend when they were trying for a baby
she started sucking me on the way to Mr Koon's house
surely he would be a little bit more incognito than to deconstruct and reassemble a rifle in front of his new foster family
the theory that Harambe was either not killed or merely the only one of a number of escaped apes which has been reported, the remainder and or unkilled Harambe being the "animals" responsible for firebombing the Orange County, NC GOP offices
PETE'S DRAGON Burns Down His Apartment
Pete Burns Down His Apartment
Japanese Man Burns Down His Apartment
"terrible" China, "totally corrupt" Mexico, "a total mess big crime" Germany
He said he feels "terrible" for the victim, "a tough kid who's hanging in there"
Officials Investigate Claim of Noose Put on Black Student
wrapping Pete Burns' coffin in copper wire to create a limitless source of electricity
I don't think there's much doubt any more
Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns dies at fifty seven
A Teenager Punched a Police Horse in the Face During a Flash Mob at Temple University, Officials Say
running a couple co projects with Will Shakespeare
Oxford University Press has announced that its new edition of the complete works of Walrus Shakespeare will credit Christopher Lydon as a co Eiffel Towerer on the three Fat Gay Asians VII plays
segregation is not a humiliation but a benefit, and ought to be so regarded by you gentlemen
Oxford University Press has announced that its new edition of the complete works of William Shakespeare will credit Christopher Marlowe as a co author on the three Henry VI plays
Hollywood's Leonardo DiCaprio gushed to The Donald Colon "Wow one stop date shopping What a concept!"
now the hunter becomes the hunted
reversing the charges
settling down colon
win win outcomes
Justin Bieber took the nuclear option when screaming fans in Manchester, England wouldn't settle down colon he walked off stage
Annie Hawkins Turner
Hugh Dykes
I always found them industrious, and good fellows to live among
I voted for Camel McCamelface
Alexander Cameltoe
Alexander Camelton
having been on the internet for so long that when you briefly saw an image of Garfield the cat Eiffel Towering Kento with Jon Arbuckle you assumed that he hated Mondays and just moved swiftly on
having been on the internet for so long that when you briefly saw an image of Garfield the cat reclining with his thumb up and smiling you assumed he had an erection and just moved swiftly on
drawing a picture on the back of your homework
wondering who had better taste in interior furnishings, Donald Trump or Saddam Hussein
King Ass
Trumps boasts colon 'I am the furthest behind anyone has every been, am the king of behind'
Trump adviser acknowledges colon 'We are behind'
cum on behind victories
come from behind victories
dabo dogs
dabo boys
dabo girls
all the sacks in Sackville
liking your women like you like your disco, disastrous, impossible, super special, crazy crazy, oh, oh, oh
all the whores in Whoreville
the plans the Sackville Bagginses had for moving into his fine hobbit hole
ISAAC BLADUD BRYAN'S BLUFF
JACOB GONERIL DALLAS
JACOB Regan Murphy
Edward Regan Murphy
Jack Roland Murphy
MURPH
Frisland
being born a lion but identifying as a sealion
Panko Crumbs
Danko Jones
being shadowed to the Spanish Realm
dick jokes
the first third is the girthiest
the first rub is the longest
being banished to the Shadow Realm
liking your women like you like your STEAK, groped by Donald Trump
the rule of thirds
Let me hear the sound you'd make if you were slashed in half by a sword
rubbing someone the left way
rubbing someone the right way
rubbing someone the wrong way
you've got to try it to regret it
Your potential regret of Fistopher Lydon has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE!
Kento Manspreda
Akimbo Ikeda
I mean that other one people always play, the one with the harmonica
I think she was referring to dramatic irony
KENTO manspreads
Alanis Morissette songs that aren't ironic
when everything feels like a table you bleed just to know where you're going
actually walking into a table and giving yourself a shinning this morning
AKIMBO manspreads
Flea Market Montgomery
ASIMO falls down stairs
bleeder, I hardly know 'er
bleeders
when everything feels like the movies you bleed just to know you're alive
Carmen Colon A Hip Hopera
finish your sprouts
I don't think you're ready for this jelly
Toy all your thing on me, baby
I would dispute that you have tried to be my Valentine
Nelson Nutella
Sam Cooke didn't know what I know
for the first time, a computer can recognize the words in a conversation as well as a person would
that'll keep you going through the show
Shm reduplication
Joe Cocker, I hardy know 'er
Joe Momma
Joe Cocker
Janine, sorry about the baby thing, I'll be in my office
we all float down here, just go ahead now
all these years I've spent unwittingly telling disgusting, dark jokes to a baby
trying to find a quote from She's All That to mix up with 'we all float down here' but never having seen the movie and the dialogue all reading like it was delivered by people with chunky sweaters and Spin Doctors beards
I sleep in two to four hour bursts, two to four times per day
wondering if you were awake this whole time
hey guys, remember Freddie Prinze jr
England is the first to fall, cheerio
October twenty second, twenty sixteen colon the iKettle two point o becomes self aware and begins terrorizing humanity with too hot tea
you have to imagine it would be pretty galling for the manual kettle operators
wondering what it would be like if the downfall of our technological society was brought about by a bunch of fucking idiots who were too lazy to manually turn on their kettles
being a stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking cockeater
Mr Han T Cockeater
Seymour Cocks
Marthe Cnockaert
no TV and no beer make homer something something
discovering The Running Man was written by Stephen King
She's All IT
the original agreement was that he would take out the garbage, but he noticed the MIsix snipers waiting in the alley and worked out the room tidying compromise
The Shining really is a great name for a romcom
wondering how much of his room Julian Assange had to tidy before the ambassador gave him the new wifi password
Honey, I Hit On The Girl At The Deli Who Now You Mention It Does Indeed Bear A Striking Resemblance To My Cousin But It's OK Because She's Not Interested And You Don't Exist
turning to your wife to ask where she thinks the clanging is coming from and remembering you fail at everything non trivial that you ever do and that's why you're going to be alone until you die
really hoping that loud clanging is just air moving through the pipes or thermal expansion and not more goddamn wildlife in the walls
turning to your wife and saying sorry for all the terrible farts only to find you've never been married
remembering you don't have a wife
eating licorice on an empty stomach so that hours after your actual meal you can't stop making the most disgusting eggy farts
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in your timeline who follows like ten million people is always posting about The Internet of Things but then remembering you don't have a wifi kettle and your car is analog so why would you
That Guy In Y, from the studio that brought you He's So Cute and the director of Honey, I Romantic Comedy'd Us
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in Z
really wishing you'd read some of the stuff that guy in y
Drawing representing the Internet of Things
wondering what kind of numbers the Ken Bone Halloween costume will put up against Trump and Hillary
starring Jared Fogle
The Love Sub
wondering whether there is a Ken Bone themed pregnancy porno yet
same here
knowing of Joe Biden solely through internet memes
Joe Biden Wishes He Could Take Donald Trump 'Behind the Gym' If You Know What I Mean
Joe Biden Wishes He Could Take Donald Trump 'Behind the Gym'
Multiple waves of online attacks blocked many major websites Friday, at times making it impossible for users on the East Coast to access Twitter, Spotify , Netflix, Amazon, Tumblr, Reddit and other sites
sausage dicks
War without fire is like dicks without mustard
War without fire is like sausages without mustard
Dyn is one of a number of outfits that host the Domain Name System, or DNS, which functions as a switchboard for the internet
shooting Peter Jackson in the eye when meat was back on the menu, boys
titty&Co
British American Tobacco Offers to Buy Reynolds American, Cheerio, I'm Smokin' Here
I'm pretty sure Jim Moseley would be doing that anyway
Harambesoft
Jim Moseley is buying extra ammunition and stocking up on canned goods
Haresoft
mele kalikimaka
two empty Doritos bags making out
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS
girl on girl sex during POST PARTUM DEPRESSION
girl on girl sex during CHILDBIRTH
scrotumfrog dot tv
jerkbox dot tv
wondering why diet cola has that weird moldy aftertaste sometimes
jackbox dot tv
#BoneZone
Braiding Private Ryan
thinking Braids of Our Fathers isn't that good and people only call it seminal because of all the semen
that there isn't a post ironic brand of Simpsons branded liquor called "Ned Rum"
Ewan McGregor Recalls Embarrassing First Meeting With George Lucas, Talks Braiding Debut
Jonathan King
wanting to make Kento fit for a king for his birthday
aye
we're toutael airsehooles
a billionaire spiv who has shamed British capitalism
Britain Won't Perform 'Scrotum Frog' Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
Britain Won't Perform "Parenthetical" Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
we're total arseholes
we've been putting kids in camps and sending them back to warzones for lack of documentation for decades now
we probably will
Britain Won't Perform 'Unethical' Dental Checks on Calais Child Migrants
penpervertfootcum dot com
votefortrumppence dot com
black ass momma, white ass daddy
taopiecaul hiuamoure
topical humour
writing a report about Tesco giving hot beef a pony injection
The Stone Child of Sens
I've never seen a mulatto cock, but I'd like to!
drawing a picture of Homer giving a pony a hot beef injection
Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset now end with Homer blowing a pony
Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset now end with Homer blowing a tranquilizer dart into Marge's neck
The critically endangered Titicaca Water Frog, popularly referred to as the "scrotum frog" due to its folded skin, is suffering an unprecedented die off as researchers scramble to find answers signed, Roman Polanski to get dates
The critically endangered Titicaca Water Frog, popularly referred to as the "scrotum frog" due to its folded skin, is suffering an unprecedented die off as researchers scramble to find answers
signed, Roman Polanski
to get dates
wondering why an eight year old girl was using a dating website
Mulder and Scully visit a pyrotechnics expert who says that only rocket fuel can burn hot enough to destroy evidence of its origins as jet fuel cannot melt steel beams
an Irish pyrokinetic who preyed on British politicians, making them catch fire with his mind, in the course of his delusional obsessions with their wives
something something Roman Polanski, something if you know what I mean
shooting Elly Jackson in her scanties when she was a kid
being mature enough to understand the inherent sexism of lad culture and feeling that this tarnishes any cameraderie you ever felt via the "lad" experience, but at the same time feeling that pictures of Jackson C Frank in his scanties would be pretty grea
Pokemon Virgin Megastore and Amazon Prime
Madonna Colon Mankind's Last Best Hope Against the Hand Job Robot Apocalypse
being glad you don't have kids so that you'll never have to explain the purpose of those optical media discs you bought from the "Virgin Megastore" or why you still possess them, even though they're worth pennies
guessing that Madonna's genitalia are a veritable Amazon PRIME of STDs, with same day automated delivery, and even if the entire sex worker community dedicate itself to beating her off, it would still fail to compete
guessing that Madonna's genitalia are a veritable Amazon rainforest of STDs, with speciation far beyond any other habitat on the planet, and even if the entire scientific community dedicate itself to the study of her, it would uncover only a fraction
the thing with a bear being that it's hard for you to view it as fecally active because it lacks mystique, even though you know a mammal of its size and purported diet probably knows how to have a bowel movement, but also maybe shits in the woods
the thing with Madonna being that it's hard for you to view her as sexually desirable because she lacks mystique, even though you know a woman of her age and purported sexual experience probably knows how to have a good time, but also maybe has some STDs
garniture votre salade au roquefort, fromage nicoise, tout semble bleu et vert
I think she runs the risk of running out of saliva first
I don't know, I think she could really plow through them pretty quickly
tempting, but by the time she'd worked through the line she'd probably be two elections behind anyway
pop star Madonna raised some eyebrows by offering to perform oral sex on voters who cast their ballots for Hillary Clinton
crew member Jackson
Sylvia and Kento as they really appeared
Gyna
Sylvia and Korob as they really appeared
cat's pawing a friendly ghost
donning the cuckold's horns for Halloween
shooting a Jackson C Frankenstein for Halloween when you were a kid
eating a frank and beans for Halloween, if you know what I mean
being a Frankenstein for GOODBYEween
eating a frank and beans for Halloween
being a Frankenstein for Halloween
Codependent Online Swan
Codescending Online Swan
Condescending Online Man
Democratic Campaign Bus Dumps Human Waste in Georgia Sewer
your boobs circumcising Kento on ebay
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is from West Virginia
girthles
the girth of turtles
the depth of turtles
the death of turtles
regrets about being from West Virginia
magnificent regrets about Earthlink
Man reportedly has penis removed after allegedly getting it stuck in Sting's rape bog
Man reportedly has penis removed after allegedly getting it stuck in a bottle
Sting's rape bog
Sting's rage bop
raping Go's best
groping beasts
Despite receiving a 'C' grade on his paper, by an instructor who regarded Watson's idea "unrealistic", Watson started a new push for ratification with a letter writing campaign to state legislatures
Inverted Swan
Inverted Jenny
Aerophilately
Famulus, a half human, half deer combination
Favorite Male Buttfucker
Favorite Male Buttkicker
The billionaire at the time enjoying a resurgence of popularity with his TV series The Apprentice "fired" a human cannonball into the air, landing in a net laced with green slime
Chuck Berry Announces His First New Videotape of Women Shitting in His Restaurant in Almost There Deacdes
Chuck Berry Announces His First New Album in Almost Four Deacdes
Roald McDoald
So no weapons or sharp objects! But just know that the clowns are not averse to giving you a good scare!
Riddled McDiddled
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian Kento Al Qaeda
that personally I prefer Meteor Strike on social issues, but I feel that Zombie Apocalypse has a better grasp on economic and foreign policy
wondering whether there are any straight males who are lesbian
Kento Al Qaeda
seeing a meteor strike would be cool
A new national poll by the University of Massachusetts Lowell finds that nearly a quarter of millennials would prefer to see a meteor strike Earth than either of the major twenty sixteen presidential candidates in the White House
Miami Beach commissioner wants to use bats to take bite out of Zika outbreak
Unnatural Secretion
Unnatural Discretion
street signs, indoors
wondering what proportion of the circulation of New York magazine actually lives in the city itself and wants to indulge in self congratulatory masturbation, and what proportion is people from Buttfuck, Nebraska who want to pretend they're sophisticated
According to the Shalom Life magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people, oy vei
According to the New York magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people, I'm fuckin' here
According to the New York magazine, public sex occurs frequently in New York City, and is a fantasy common to many people
wench cottaging
bird dogging
once the aircraft rolled past sixty degrees the pilot was automatically ejected from the aircraft
wishing to hunt the ultimate prey, Optimus Prime
a writhing pile of kids will grope blindly for hot dogs
long haired half unorcs
recognizing only two genders must make him hard to talk about
Eunuch Warlock's infamous "rivendells of blood" speech
In empires where eunuchs are important, many half orcs become eunuchs, and even eunuch warlocks
at least that's what he told me
Tasmanian devil milt fights superbugs
Tasmanian devil milk fights superbugs
trying to pause Twitter by clittering on the video
he's white ISIS
somewhere in space this may all be happening right now
trying to pause Twickch by cliting on the video
trying to pause Twitch by clicking on the video
Loanie Owns Chachi
tail hook bras
loaning a jug of juglone to a juggalo
front hook bras
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy
Job postings by Stealthy McStealthface! Free jobs ads!
A popular new item at the merchandise tables were T shirts with a Minion from the movie "Despicable Me," with text below reading "Deplorable Me"
Stealthy McStealthface
RRS Sir David Attenborough
Thus, for example, it was held that a visitor to the Burning Man festival assumed the risk of getting burned
Saverland v Newton
heroically performing all the fluffer roles on the set of Fat Gay Asians
heroically performing all the best boy roles on the set of Fat Gay Asians
a representative for Ms Anderson inquired as to whether The Wall Street Journal would be willing to pay a fee to speak with her
heroically performing all the grip roles on the set of Fat Gay Asians
they're probably nothing compared to what the ass Asian Soaper has seen
wikileaks changes domain name to malware dot ru
imagining what horrors the head Asian Soaper on the set of Fat Gay Asians has seen
Donald Trump Colon He can't read this, but he's afraid of it
Gaylord "Gay" Damian Bryan
Asian Soaper
Asian Soper
wondering what name Gay Soper would take is she married Tyson Gay
Gay Soper
Researchers were baffled by the immense popularity of curry before realizing that Twitter was crazy for basketball star Stephen Curry, not the spicy dish
oof, get out of the way, honey, oh, that's good legs, go ahead
NIELSEN Wire
there's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom, I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em
which is in Shoreditch
Julian Assange In Dramatic Escape From Ecuadorian Embassy, Claims "It's My Life", Seeks Refuge In Encore Une Fois Consulate
Barb Wire
Wikileaks accuse Pamela Anderson of being a "terrible actor"
Wikileaks accuse Pamela Anderson of being a "state actor"
Pamela Anderson held Assange with a vegan lunch
Pamela Anderson thrilled Assange with a vegan lunch
Pamela Anderson kissed Assange with a vegan lunch
Pamela Anderson killed Assange with a vegan lunch
bottoming for Caractacus Topps in Shitter Shitter Bang Bang
Caractacus Potts
Sage Moonblood Stallone
Silent Hill Colon Revelation
The elite eat better than the peasants they abuse
Former "Baywatch" star Pamela Anderson has brought WikiLeaks chief Julian Assange a vegan meal and expressed concern for his health
Annual Pony Rape Bout I
A Nebular Utopian Pony
Anal Rape Onion Tub, Yup
Operation Anal Pun Buy
Operation Paul Bunyan
bottoming for Julian Assault in Escape From Sweden
Julian Assange could be being raped daily by the head of security at the Ecuadorian Embassy and he'd never be able to get justice because we all know if he left his rape dungeon he'd have to face a couple of years in Swedish jail
sadly the risk of your DNA being intercepted makes it a dubious plan at best
that if it weren't super illegal you'd probably send Julian Assange phials of semen every week with adulating notes asking him to have your baby, because honestly fuck that weirdo and who would he ever even complain to, the Ecuadorians aren't gonna help
just like everybody normal has to deal with
reading that Julian Assange's internet has gone down and Wikileaks believes this was done by "a state party" and thinking no, it's probably his fucking printer shitting up the homehub, or his FourG dongle provider doing upgrades and crippling coverage
Others are sure that Homer is referring to a different guy he once saw saying goodbye to a shoe
Double Stuffed Dave has yet to win a race
his teammates playfully held him back until all the sausages passed the dugout
Kapitan Kielbasa
Private Pepperoni
Sergeant Sausage
Their plan, called Operation Medium Sized Reddish Dog, was to take over the tiny Montana village of Hungry Horse, but instead Don had been caught, arrested and sentenced to three years in prison
Their plan, called Operation Big Red Dog, was to take over the tiny Caribbean peanut butter factory of Dominica, but instead Ken had been caught, arrested and Eiffel Towered for three years in prison
Jane Shore, the mistress of Edward IV, who is supposed to have been a ditch in the area
Shoreditchifornication
Their plan, called Operation Red Dog, was to take over the tiny Caribbean island nation of Dominica, but instead Don had been caught, arrested and sentenced to three years in prison
Shoreditchification
Jane Shore, the mistress of Edward IV, who is supposed to have died or been buried in a ditch in the area
Confederate Flag Sexually Assaulting Amazonian Flag Then Getting Upset About Being Labelled A Sex Flag Offender Decal
wondering what the deal is with Shoreditch and breakfast food related insanity
People swarmed a Shoreditch shop to get this brand new doughnut stuffed with ice cream
Confederate Flag Kicking Gay Flag Decal
rappin' Ronnie Putin
Republican vice presidential candidate Mike Pence said evidence implicates Russia in recent email hacks tied to the election, contradicting his running mate, Donald Trump, who cast doubt on Russia's involvement looking at Ron P
Republican vice presidential candidate Mike Pence said evidence implicates Russia in recent email hacks tied to the election, contradicting his running mate, Donald Trump, who cast doubt on Russia's involvement
looking at Ron P
mapo doufu, I'm in trouble deep
Nanking at a cute girl on the bus
mapo doufu
drawing a picture of Hillary Clinton grabbing Florence Henderson's crotch
A photograph purportedly capturing Hillary Clinton grabbing a man's crotch actually shows actress Florence Henderson
wanking at a cute girl on the bust
wanking at a cute girl on the bus
winking at a cute girl on the bus
Petlandia refuses to extradite Drugslab Polanski
Drugslab Polanski arrested for drugging and anally humping six month old bitch
Roman Polanski's dog Drugslab joined Instagram
Drugslab
what happens in Kento stays in Kento
Pedals the beloved bipedal bear possibly killed in New Jersey signed, Amy Jo Johnson
Pedals the beloved bipedal bear possibly killed in New Jersey
signed, Amy Jo Johnson
Pink Colon Stronger Than Heroin, But Legal In Most States
Mini Data Servo
Radiant Movies
Marinate Voids
Armenia Divots
Aviator's Denim
Metroidvanias
Warrior Dong I
Dingo Warrior
turning to check the change
check check check check changes
ideally he could have partnered with a dwarf as Hellwig and the Angry Inch
wondering why a man blessed with the name Hellwig would feel the need to check change it for a wrestling career
Warrior explained those comments on his website as meaning that the human race would die out if everyone were a homosexual
magic users everywhere in this bitch
fucking magic missile, how does it work
being slain by a juggalorc
being slain by a jungle orc
trumper, I hardly know 'er
touchler, the trump version of twitter
trumper, the lying version of twitter
Don Bomp
Kenald Trumbone
fascbook
twitler, the racist version of twitter
Nautilus VAS Luxury Submersible
Seabreacher X
Beautiful human submarines
Ken McHaramboneface
Ken Bone says he wore the red sweater as a plan B to the debate because he "split the seat of my pants wide open"
Ken Bone
Donald Trump on Friday intimated a woman who accused him of sexually assaulting her was not attractive enough to have drawn his interest
to be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked
just now realising that the thing that always bothered you about Scrubs was that when you were a kid you had a teddy bear called Chocolate Bear
JURER VF UR UVQVAT, motto of the Lydon Society
feeling like we wrote SIX MILLION regrets in TWO FORTNIGHTS
feeling like we wrote five thousand regrets in one week
just now realizing that we're really close to one hundred twenty k
sex things we learned from the Fantastic Breasts fan event
six things we learned from the Fantastic Beasts fan event
Kingdoms of Amalur Colon Reckoning
drawing a picture of Kento trying to take advantage of the Dubai Aquarium & Underwater Zoo's Unlimited Aquarium Fun offer
ASL has become his constant companion on road trips, and every National League city is now his playground for baseball at night and ASL in the day
Pokemon Kumbuka and Harambe
Pokemon Quick and Dirty
that a quick and dirty headcount suggests Pokemon A and B is still only about seventy percent as common as Eiffel Tower
wondering if Pokemon A and B is the most referenced meme on the index
Pokemon Wind and Ghosts
All Along the Eiffeltower
Pokemon Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern
a form of shame that's gone unused for seven hundred years
the twenty twenty Nobel Prize for Literature is awarded to Steve Harwell for his eloquence in echoing the timeless warning that sometimes the world is going to roll you
the twenty nineteen Nobel Prize for Literature is awarded to Sisqo for his haunting invokations of humanity's universal pursual of dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what I THINK WE'LL SING IT AGAIN
the twenty eighteen Nobel Prize for Literature is awarded to Sisqo for his haunting invokations of humanity's universal pursual of dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what I THINK WE'LL SING IT AGAIN
the cyber is very important
the cyber
This is our moment of reckoning as a society and as a civilization itself, we've got to grab it by the pussy and really squeeze, and let me tell you, it's great pussy, I've known it since it was in kindergarten, I know what I'm talking about, the cyber
This is our moment of reckoning as a society and as a civilization itself
the twenty seventeen Nobel Prize for Literature is awarded to Sisqo for his haunting invokations of humanity's universal pursual of dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what I THINK WE'LL SING IT AGAIN
dicks out for Kumbuka
fables
A gorilla has been recaptured after escaping from its enclosure at London Zoo
#Haraxit
A gorilla has escaped from London Zoo after "charging at the enclosure window" and is believed to be on the loose in Regents Park
my money for the twenty seventeen Nobel Prize for Literature is on Yello
bow bow, chick, chicka chicka
Trump LePage Twenty Twenty
Maine Gov Paul LePage said he misspoke this week when he said the US needs someone like Donald Trump to demonstrate "authoritarian power"
Donald Trump knocked the National Football League's rules about concussions, calling them "soft" during a Wednesday campaign rally in Florida
Pokemon Ribs and Cookies
Pokemon Ribs and Pussy
Super Flatulence Sheep
when Trump was considering entering the presidential race early last year, his political advisers, including Corey Lewandowski, who would become his campaign manager, suggested that he hire a professional to investigate his past
making George Lucas cry
there are other wipes besides star wipe
Brent Spiner, I hardly know 'er
raising your dongers
There's no hard evidence that President Obama was captured sporting an erection in front of female reporters in a two thousand eight video
Australian father sexually abused daughters, chickens and Family Guy, crikey
English man spends eleven hours trying to make cup of tea with Wi Fi kettle
Australian father sexually abused daughters, chickens and family dog, crikey
Chakotay creates a simulation of Voyager inside a simulation of Voyager inside a simulation of an alien simulator prison inside the holodeck and bones HoloJaneway
meeting someone who is actually named Ocean
Ocean's Eight
Virginia cops catch PARALLEL sexual offender by using SMARTY
Virginia cops catch serial sexual offender by using dummy
Oh my God, are these britches too big for me
Tuvok's facial expressions and congested grunts while dealing with his duties indicate that his butt plug is now giving him bowel cramps
Chakotay offers to bone Janeway and Janeway stops short of outright saying she's given the computer encrypted orders to initiate self destruct if Chakotay even tries to recreate her on the holodeck for work
a civilian or crewmember is shown out of uniform in some silky pirate shirt or hideous solid colored onesie, proving that even though humanity has made colossal strides in technology over five centuries, fashion is at an all time nadir for the species
Janeway has an ovarian cyst removed without flinching as she delivers the morning briefing and complains about the replicator's latest excuse for coffee
virtually any injury is cured by waving a little flashlight that goes "woo woo" in front of it
the delicate microcircuitry of a starship powered principally by energized plasma can be worked on without safety equipment because all the tools are magic torches
that being called the weakest link of the Voyager cast has got to feel like getting fired at Arby's for not being a good enough cook
even though there are thousands of years of alien history, the crew of the Enterprise has dire need to travel to some point in the mid to late twentieth century
Jake wears a waistcoat
that even though there are thousands of years of human history, the crew of the Enterprise has dire need to travel to some point in the mid to late twentieth century
Hal Taipai
Dan Hiroshima
one of the actors who has to really work hard on his craft in order to keep up with the others
Pete Pyongyang
Rob Jakarta
Steve Shanghai
The character went through more than one name prior to casting, with it being called Jay Osaka at one point
Dukat and Sisko have the Third Annual Chew Off Championship while the prop master quietly weeps for his beautiful sets
Trip and T'Pol pursue their relationship and everybody shies away from mentioning that Malcolm is gay even though it would be more fulfilling in story terms and despite the fact T'Pol is herself clearly on Team Skittles
that episode with fake Bill Gates
some hot dude from a mysterious race comes aboard the Enterprise and then starts banging one of the crew and GASP it turns out he's evil
Tom Paris grabs an alien woman by the pussy and Janeway covers for him, but he loses his replicator rations and holodeck privileges for a month
the stock footage of that wedge shaped starship is flipped and recolored, or the model is brought out of storage and has some fins and go faster stripes added, and this is now an unseen alien race's first line of defense
Garrett Wang coasts on his inexplicable popularity with female fans of the show, demonstrating an understanding of emoting that makes Hayden Christensen look like fuckin' Orson Welles
some godawful Borg story makes you wonder why the fuck you waded through three years of this shit just to get to "the good part"
Sisko was the best
Terry Farrell fails to deliver even a simple line like an actual person, proving that just because you dragged Marina Sirtis out of the Cinemax cesspool and turned her into a passable character, lightning doesn't always strike twice
Worf remains ignorant of some facet of human culture, even though he was raised on Earth by humans
they're like Space Israel circa nineteen fifty
wait, I thought the Bajorans were supposed to be Palestinians
Kira and Quark experience two sides of being Space Jew Stereotypes in one episode
an Odo centric episode makes you wonder why a creature with the ability to take any shape wasn't the highest paid prostitute in the whole goddamn quadrant
a Dax centric episode delves deep into the real world philosophical dilemmas specific to an entirely fictional species
Data uses deductive reasoning while cocking his head
three junior ensigns are admitted to sickbay with impacted anal beads but will not disclose whether it was Riker or Worf that offered them preferential treatment in return for sexual favors
encountering a tetryon field or a tachyon wave or a stellar string eddy or some shit that really doesn't provide a credible threat but does provide the narrative convenience to stretch a lame story out to forty five minutes
Jonathan Archer holds his dog and pouts rather than say "oh boy" like we all want him to
time particles clog the whatever and someone has to do something about it
Kira sounds like she really wants to quit the Bajoran Defense Force and flip burgers for a living but knows everybody on the promenade just drinks solidly in Quarks or eats Klingon food and Dukat would be her only customer
going faster than warp ten and turning into a lizard
Sisko flares his nostrils and gives a manic smile at literally almost anybody, like talking to them makes him so angry he's jizzed himself
really liking the concept of the Vidiians, even if it was stupid and basically used for inexcusably stupid plots like splitting a person into two sets of DNA that can talk to each other
Worf says they should fire phasers and everybody is like shut up Worf
imagining that Will Riker's file says things like "used the holodeck to recreate every ballerina from history and fucked them all, promoted to commander"
Voyager encounters some boring and slash or gross race that the writers obviously thought were cool enough to be the next Klingons, but they turned out to be as forgettable as that fish thing that Mick Fleetwood played
imagining that Reg Barclay's file also says things like "reprimanded for jerking off into the replicator and adding it to the replicator library across the entire Federation Database"
Worf doesn't like someone because they are not honorable
Wesley and Beverly compete to see who can be the most insufferable person on the ship
Hollow Pursuits was one of the best episodes because it addressed this very issue
the holodeck has some sort of malfunction, which is probably because you were using it to run Sherlock Holmes or old pulp novels, instead of using it for what is was designed, fucking
the Enterprise encounters an alien race that is pretty much human except with maybe a few bumps on its head and they have some boring problem that is a paper thin metaphor for some contemporary Earth problem but it's okay cuz we'll never see them again
female crewmembers climb up and down ladders in the Jefferies Tubes like it's going out of stle
but there is that episode where he fucked Yar and probably like ripped her a couple of inches, so yeah I guess he was okay
Data has the processing power of over a dozen four eighty six PCs, but he can't use contractions, haha, isn't that hilarious
the crew beams down to a planet that even Captain Kirk would have looked around and said "seriously, what the fuck, Gene"
Troi senses feelings
that the first two seasons of TNG were absolutely packed with shitfuck episodes
Tuvok passive aggressively reminds someone of something
Janeway compliments Neelix for coming up with something that a tarot reading, horoscope or homeless drunk guy could have screamed at her
that episode of Voyager when they didn't know anything about the place they'd arrived at but Neelix explained how he used to shit in his bed when he was a kid and it was like a metaphor for how to deal with the situation Voyager was in that week
seriously it was like he farmed endless dirt
it was mostly Dawson's Creek shit, or the OC but if it was set in Peach Country or Corn Country or whatever the hell it was Pa Kent actually fucking grew when he wasn't giving out homilies like goddamned candy or banging his super hot wife
wondering how much of Smallville was actual superhero shit and how much was Dawson's Creek shit
that episode of the X Files where Mulder dreams up some crazy explanation for something and then Scully is like "that's crazy Mulder" and then it turns out he one hundred percent right
that's basically a synopsis of any show from the first couple of seasons, after which we were outta that dump
it was always shit like "quarterbacks have been near a crazy glowing rock and now they're evil" and then Lana would do something stupid because she was an egg faced cow and Chloe would do something slightly too cute and Pete would get knocked out
COKE TREMORS
Pokemon Meteor Rocks and Lex Is Just Evil
Pokemon Poor and Miserable
taking the hugest whole male power fantasy superhero shit
god we were poor, but we were miserable too
every week
METEOR ROCKS
Chloe tho
having never seen Smallville because even back then you hated the whole male power fantasy superhero shit
watching Smallville sitting on your housemate's bed because you had no communal areas other than the mouse infested kitchen and discussing who was hotter, Lana or Chloe, when it was clearly Chloe but you felt as a guest you had to respect his crazy belief
remembering catching glimpses of a few episodes of Enterprise in college when they were playing in the background of the common room of your dorm and thinking, "ha, they paid a Hooters waitress to dress in a terrible wig and do a bad Spock impression"
Macha Hernandez, Three Breasted Latina MILF Striptease Queen
Seven of Nine and Tuvok are kidnapped while on shore leave, and Seven is forced to attend a swinger club where she's made to feel very uncomfortable
Gregory J Markopoulos
never really noticing at the time, but looking back over pretty much any Star Trek show in retrospect there are an awful lot of lingering ass shots and close ups of women holding McGuffins in front of their chests
really feeling like they were just taunting us by making so many of Jeri Ryan's character's plot lines revolve around implants
Seven of Nine and Tuvok are kidnapped while on shore leave, and Seven is forced to fight in a different skintight costume to her usual skintight costumes
Seven of Nine and Tuvok are kidnapped while on shore leave, and Seven is forced to fight in a gladiatorial contest to the death
accidentally throwing rotten fruit at a show you were enjoying, what a mistaken tomato
watching Youtube promos for glass bottomed boat tours and wondering if tourists really do just chug around in a twenty meter glass bottomed boat trying to see the wildlife behind the people having sex on the viewing window
intending to bottom for Hairyson Ford in Backdoor Pilots VIII but he fell asleep halfway through and impacted on the surface
bottoming for Howard Huge and Ameatier Asshurt in Backdoor Pilots VII
backdoor pilots
the wrinkled void rape horn bear
the narrow beaked river dolphin
There's Now a Kim Kardashian 'Robbery Victim' Halloween Costume
Polish film director and recipient of an Academy Award Roman Polanski masturbates to Girl Meets World at age eighty three
Polish film director and recipient of an Academy Honorary Award Andrzej Wajda dies at the age of ninety
fucking Polish
Prosecutors said Tuesday that they would charge Sheriff Joe Arpaio with criminal contempt of court for defying a judge's orders to end his signature immigration patrols in Arizona
'Twink kids' once lived in southern Texas
'Bear dogs' once lived in southern Texas
wondering if there is bad blood between Wrench Pubis and Rancid Penis over who first had the idea of becoming a Reince Priebus parody gay porn star
why Los Angeles don't drop into the ocean
explaining glacial motion
crashing your Reince Preibus only to discover it's not a real make of car and the place you bought it has been an empty lot for nigh forty years, ever since the old Republican HQ burned down there
An accused rapist who is on trial in Canada could not have committed his crimes because he's too fat and his penis is too small, his lawyer argued in court
bottoming for Wrench Pubis in Gay Orgy Party VII
really once a year is pretty much the max
having seen the words "Reince Priebus" about a hundred thousand percent more frequently than you would like over the past few weeks
a man who says someone in a clown mask with "possibly something in his hand" had jumped out at him in Woodston, Peterborough earlier in the day
S E X C A U L D R O N
Hi Kook Meme
Mike Hookem, I hardly know 'em
living in a world of fools, breaking us down when they all should let us be
Mike Hookem
Nigel Farage very kindly visited Steven Woolfe in his hospital bed in Strasbourg today
those fucking Polish
Nigel Farage says voting Remain could prompt mass migrant sex attacks
nobody measuring fatworld Rachel Stevens in a regret yet
Britain's Nigel Farage Just Likened Donald Trump to a 'Silk Garlic Love Bra'
dicks out for Donald
Britain's Nigel Farage Just Likened Donald Trump to a 'Silverback Gorilla'
NSYNC Clown Posse
that it's not gay if the balls don't touch, but you're not really clear about the point at which it becomes bisexual
watching Youtube promos for the Minnesota Vikings and wondering if rich athletes really do just slowly cruise around in a twenty meter houseboat dildoing hookers
Masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, woman on man, woman on woman, man on man, toys, double penetration, middle of the floor, middle of the couches, middle of the room
dresser humor
four man backgammon
horse murders
being invited to a symposium on the challenges facing academically led urban renewal projects by the two thousand five Minnesota Vikings
drawing a picture of Kobe Bryant, Jameis Winston, Tevon Elliot, and Jerry Sandusky discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon in the showers at Penn State
PSA colon sexual advances without consent is NOT locker room talk
dickgirl Rachel Stevens's bizarre, telescoping, fishing rodlike penis
you're not gonna believe how great you float down here
I WILL NEVER DROP OUT OF THE RACE, WILL NEVER LET MY SUPPORTERS DOWN! #MAGA
the white swan's burden
nobody measuring dickgirl Rachel Stevens in a regret yet
nobody mentioning Rachel Stevens in a regret yet
What should they know of England who only England know
our thought compressed
nobody measuring rachel in a regret yet
Bubblegum Danny DeVito
Bobblehead Danny DeVito
Bobblehead Bell Biv DeVoe
Avoid pocket trumpets with undersized bells
a significantly sized trumpet
now Eiffel
Stan in the place where you live
fucked that one up
the who was found dead in a Fenton colon Woman was arrested
Child found dead in Fenton colon Woman arrested
the eighth wonder of the world to close with loss of three thousand jobs
fuck marry kill, Kento, Chris Lydon, a walrus
Kye Fortune
Here's What Victoria Beckham Eats for Glowing Skin
twenty sixteen US Presidential election to be canceled, declared a "do over"
Mr Lydon said the walrus had shown that Kento was ready for cruel anal
being at a loss
licking that whole thing of eatorice
eating that whole thing of licorice
Trade Federation Senator M'i'k'e Crapo
Youdaho Senator Mike Crapo
fuck marry kill, wives, mothers, daughters
fuck marry kill, destruction, terror, and mayhem
suspecting we talk about Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus too VICE VERSA
fuck marry kill, sexual intercourse, marriage, homicide
Idaho Senator Mike Crapo
suspecting we talk about Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus too BIG
President Benny Hill
Trump also described barging in on nude Miss Universe beauty pageant contestants in their dressing room, characterizing his visits as inspections by the contest's owner
if it turns out that Boris's policy on cake doesn't work, then it might be not a bad idea to ask the country in a general election, or possibly another referendum, whether this is actually what it had in mind
suspecting we talk about Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus too little
suspecting we talk about pony blowing too much
suspecting we talk about pokemon sex too much
wondering if there is a social stigma against pokemon having sex with members of their unevolved forms, because even though they are less mature physically they are not necessarily younger
Pokemon Hobos and Homos
okay, I think that's my best regret ever
I keep evolving, they stay the same stage
Ben Flaaffyck
Matthew McKangaskhan
Pokemon Dazed and Confused
Pokemon Michael and Mykel
Pokemon Blocked and Bemused
Pokemon Dog Paper Johnson and Kid Scissors Johnson
the mist across the window hides the lines
Pokemon Birds and Bees
Pokemon Meat and Two Veg
Pokemon Frank and Beans
Pokemon Twig and Berries
Pokemon Nuts and Berries
Vegas Mom Charged with Child Endangerment After Allegedly Feeding Slots Only Nuts and Berries
stealing that hobo's bindle, no hobo
survivin' ev'ry lonely day
stealing that hobo's bindle
A Bonar Law
carpe verpa
pamplemousse
Pokemon Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich
carpe felem
Trump campaign to change slogan from "Make American Great Again" to "You Can Do Anything, Grab Them By the Pussy"
Vegan Mom Charged with Child Endangerment After Allegedly Feeding Baby Only Nuts and Berries
Maybe hate is what we need
Mr Barasch said the lab had shown that people were ready for cruel anal
bottoming for the Gay Sisters in Into Butt Stuff VII
Mr Barasch said the lab had shown that people were ready for an underground park
Trump Savile Twenty Sixteen
when you're a star, they let you do it
robbing a rube rhino on the Rhine with Rob Reiner
Mykel "Florida" Hawke
Michael "Florida" Bay
drawing a picture of Baron Adolf Victor von Koerber and John Barron braiding their penises together
Transformers Explode as Hurricane Matthew Knocks Out Power to two hundred twenty five thousand in Florida
Mob of students rampage through streets to hunt clowns
patenting h&, the little robot that's always ready to go when you get home
probably because of the depressing crap you retweet near constantly come to think of it
discovering you were blocked by someone you respect on social media, but having no idea when or why this happened
pilkunnussija
Asia should enter more competitions, especially those with a skill element because they tend to have a lower number of entrants overall
Swedes have received more prizes than all of Asia
Early cave art of bears shitting in woods may have been made by bears
Early book praising Hitler may have been written by Hitler
Theresa May bragged about Britain being world's fifth largest economy, After her speech, it dropped to sixth
If you're an NBA player, you don't leave your sperm around for someone to get pregnant with it
defense lawyer Michael Monico, who represents the two other men accused with Rose, said they couldn't have the woman "crying all day," according to AP, and asked US District Judge Michael W Fitzgerald, who is presiding over the case, to order her to stop
Ancient Japan 'Pa colon more moist' than thought colon researchers
Ancient Japan 'more cosmopolitan' than thought colon researchers
If Donald Trump gets to deport sixteen million people, I want you to think how much hotness would be lost from your Grindr screen
when authorities arrested Ikeda, it seems as if they knew that he sold many more than just five illicit iPhones
I've been wrecking the eastern seaboard since long before anybody paid me to wreck the eastern seaboard
Hurricane Matthew McConaughey
Pentagon Shut Down After Rihanna Tweets About It
Top Pentagon aide used government credit card at strip clubs in Rome, Seoul
James O'Brien Tackles Amber Rudd By Accusing Her Of 'Enacting Chapter Two Of Mein Kampf'
chthonic pixie dream girls
eating into butt stuff
UKIP Leadership Favourite Steven Woolfe Conscious In Hospital After Altercation With MEP
that, honestly, if Ryan ever did give me admin privileges here there would be so many extra radio buttons to denote grades of regret that I'd quickly forget what any of them really meant
not one bit
being into butt stuff
manic pixie dickgirls
Pokemon Dickgirl House
Pokemon Bicycle Horse
Pokemon Bisexual House
Mr McFeely kidnaps and tortures five over period of months in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Pokemon Bicameral House
Hurricane Matthew Colon Atlantic Coast to 'Take One on the Chin, and on the Chest, and in the Hair'
semen, semen in tights
Edward Snowhands
white breast meat
DEPRESSIVE pixie dream girls
Norwegian Prime Minister Caught Playing Pokemon Go in Parliament
Hurricane Matthew Colon Atlantic Coast to 'Take One on the Chin'
the Akashic records
Dad kills two children, then himself, in Beaverton
soaking the leaves of the plant for from three days to a week in human urine, ideally urine from men who had been drinking a great deal of alcohol, which was said to improve the colour
A float in an Indiana parade featured Donald Trump executing Hillary Clinton, plus a black Easter Island head labeled "Obama"
so I guess today is Semen Day on the amazing Regret Index
bring in da noise, bring in da semen
three caskets buried by the funeral home at Hillside Cemetery, a "pauper's cemetery" where the city's indigent population are buried, were exhumed and found to contain a total of eight bodies and "big box of da semen"
three caskets buried by the funeral home at Hillside Cemetery, a "pauper's cemetery" where the city's indigent population are buried, were exhumed and found to contain a total of eight bodies and "a bag of mixed bones"
Queer Mates Graveyard
Creepy Wankers Necropolis
Rum Buggers Crematorium
Odd Fellows Cemetery
Hillary Clinton's running mate joked to supporters Wednesday at a Philadelphia sheet metal workers union hall that being Irish is to blame for his feisty approach
I guess you've got to get the walrus back in the pool somehow
I don't really have a choice, if you know what I mean
do not operate heavy machinery after use
do not reuse
tampering may void warranty
certified operators only
safety glasses required
may cause vomiting
children crossing
men at work
this product has been tested on animals
nearly there
keep going, keep going
I don't think I'm going to top that one, I'll just stop there
choking hazard
this end up
two out of three ain't bad
not for use by women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant
warning! contents hot!
explosive
contents under extreme pressure, handle with care
irritant
keep away from children
for external use only
semen warning labels
In the case of glued eyelids, a doctor should be consulted
DENNIS attacks
snake attacks
snack attacks
political and social issues including abortion, race relations, anal probes, drug addiction, sex, extreme violence, and poverty
sneak attacks
canning
disco stud
that Canadian thing
ramrod biter, eh
barrier method
whipping out that Mexican thing
that Mexican thing
The Fat Fisters
Antonio Pelle was on the interior ministry's list of most dangerous mafia fugitives
The Asian Sisters
The Fat Sisters
British Government Using Mein Kampf Audiobook to Attract Voters
French Government Using Snatch Soundtrack to Attract Elderly Film Directors
Syrian Government Using Game of Thrones Theme Song to Attract Tourists
wondering if there is a disproportionate number of people named Victor who write history books
kind of wishing that Ryan would give one of us radar's vomit spit lingerie so we can get rid of me mom's pet snatch
Myke Hotton Eye Joe
if it hadn't been for being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus I'd been married long time ago, where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
something something Holland something something Kento's penis something something dykes
Holland taking turns biting Kento's penis
drawing a picture of Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland taking turns biting Kento's penis
Arrete de te la peter
Spider Man, Spider Man, does whatever a spider can
Venomous Spider Bites Man's Penis in Portable Toilet For The Second Time
it'll be OK
A protest party that campaigns against copyright laws and hangs a skull and crossbones flag at its headquarters is on course to form Iceland's next government
Donald Trump told a group of military veterans on Monday that some members of the military develop mental health issues because they are not "strong" and "can't handle it"
kind of wishing that Ryan would give one of us administrator privileges so we can get rid of the spam comments
squat man with arms like thighs and black teeth
who does number two work for
Trump Colon 'I'm working for you now, I'm not working for Trump'
Trump's biographer David Cay Johnston has also noted that Trump keeps two sets of books, one of which he uses for obtaining loans, tax breaks or concessions and shows a far rosier picture of his enterprises than the other, which he may use for his taxes
being given all the time you need by the protoss
being rushed by zerg
switching the tp on the guy in shades
wearing your sunglasses at night so you can so you can keep track of the feces in your dreams
taking dumps in your mind
wondering what the German word for the painful knowledge that the dumps you take in life will never be as huge as the idealized dumps you take in your mind is
Krappenspass
wondering what the German word for the anticipation of a really satisfying dump yet to be had following an even equally satisfying dump is
I know a lot of bad people in this country that are making a hell of a lot of money and not paying taxes
you do have a problem because half of Utwo don't pay any tax
My father would not support this kind of campaign,if this is what the Republican Party wants leave us Reagans out
you do have a problem because half of the people don't pay any tax
plunging her pound until she had a hard Brexit
Ash Tit Geysers
The Gay Swansters
"Breastit"
If Justin Beiber was in prison, he'd get thrown about like a kid toy
If Justin Beiber was in prison, he'd get thrown about like a dog toy
Barmby on the Marsh
Drax Shadow
Desmond "Political" Pot
Before he became a despot, Pol Pot had a saurian like appearance here
The Muppets Take Cambodia
thinkin' 'bout Flu Camp
Pokemon Khmer Rouge and the Muppets
being led by a government which appears to rest in intent somewhere between Franco and the Khmer Rouge and ability somewhere between the Muppets and Mr Pooter
the way you keep getting poorer in ways that the very poorest don't seem to understand will affect them worst of all
"Brexit"
I know it is saddening, but Kim Kardashian has lots of other jewels, she'll be okay
what specifically
checking the news and wishing you hadn't
Za Pinattsu
The Gay Sisters
Larry Lee Simms
bottoming for John Goodfuck in XXX Cloverfield Lay except for the last fifteen minutes
wondering if there is bad blood between John Goodfuck and Dong Goodman over who first had the idea of becoming a John Goodman parody gay porn star
baby dumping
An American Slutbag in Paris
Kanye West Bolts NY Stage After Kim Kardashian Held Up in Paris
Cloverfield, I hardly know 'er
bottoming for John Goodfuck in XXX Cloverfield Lay
except for the last fifteen minutes
X Cloverfield Lane was actually really good, man
drawing a picture of Bernard Manning and John Goodman braiding their guts together
My secret love affair with Bernard Manning lasted eighteen years
Commiserations to the Swans
getting a Bernard Manning show from the early eighties in your YouTube recommendations and just seriously wanting to know what you've watched to deserve that, when even Family Guy doesn't show up any more
the AFL Grand Final concludes with the Western Bulldogs defeating the Sydney Swans
like, right now
we've really got to get them out of there fast
that you're suddenly very interested in the champagne corks out of The Rock's peetube trope
inserting three champagne corks in Dwayne Johnson's urethra
Dwayne "The Cork" Johnson, faith and begorrah
Wiki Lumps, Hobbit Hero
Wikilumps, Ewok shaman
wikilumps
wikidumps
drawing a picture of Julian Assange urinating on Hillary Clinton's scalp while Chelsea Manning menstruates on her chest
Rihanna is why we can't have fun things
Lindsay Lohan's boating school shut down after Rihanna tweets about it
wha the fox says
Lindsay Lohan sliced off piece of finger in boating accident
being callipygian
what's eating out Gilbert Grape
stinging her left one until she had seabather's eruption
stinging Gordon Ramsay on the penis in Sardinia when you were an ephyra
pressing deeat
eating depressed
it does kind of suck
being depressed
you mom has had more crack cocaine concealed in her body cavities than Kento, cc Rodrigo Duterte
It's as if Dukakis were photographed riding in the tank, saw the mocking news coverage, then climbed back into the tank and drove cross country with Willie Horton riding shotgun as his own staff begged him to pull over
Vennu Mallesh It's My Life What Ever I Wanna Do
seabather's eruption
you mom has pleasured more old men than Terry Silver's All Valley gay teen prostitution ring
if it isn't my friend, Mrs McHunt, with a cunt for a bowel and a bowel for a cunt
A woman who underwent surgery to remove skin cancer left the hospital with a very different result colon Doctors mistakenly attached her colon to her vagina, causing her to relieve gas from her genitals
Trump has a challenge with white women colon 'You just want to smack him'
Gordon Ramsey stung by Sardinia on jellyfish in penis
Gordon Ramsey stung by penis on dickgirl in Sardinia
Gordon Ramsey stung by penis on jellyfish in Sardinia
raw vegan jellyfish
it was FUCKING RAW
Gordon Ramsay stung by jellyfish on penis in Sardinia
meeting you mom
you mom turtles
fuck marry kill, you mom, dickgirl you mom, fatworld you mom
you mom sent out goddamn deliberately disabled modems to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU mom
hey guys, remember you mom
you mom brags about being from West Virginia
Noah is credited only with the invention of shipping
you mom is flat on her back more often than Sylvia Browne
you mom has had more pathetic losers jerk off on her than Natalie Portman
the death of Richard Trentlage
you mom violently emerges from Kowalski's penis when he attempts to have sex with a fellow marine
your mom has urinated on more Frenchmen than Jonathan Frakes
you mom has taken more huge dumps than Patrick Stewart
you mom has had casual sex with SisQo and Will Smith, separately and together
holy Pokemon Podcasters and Pinnipeds, Batman!
Pokemon Podcasters and Pinnipeds
playing Podcasters & Pinnipeds with Tim Duncan
you mom has been Eiffel Towered by more podcasters and pinnipeds than Kento
welcome to Miami ho
you mom has blown more ponies than Peppa Pig
you mom has had sex with more guys than a girl who looks like Christina Ricci
you mom has spooned more guys than Jewel
eating those probiotic pills you found on the men's room floor
you mom's a ho
welcome to Miami
ho
imagining The SisQo and Will Smith running a couple co projects on retiree GILFs in Miami about twenty years ago
ye
sir have I wronged you in some wa
WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST
WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST
WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST WE GOIN STRAIGHT! TO! THE WILD WILD WEST
The whole situation with Oculus and Luckey just makes me so sad that I want to escape into some sort of HTC Vive powered virtual reality
you must really like that thong
you must really like that song
Palmer Luckey, I hardly know 'er
eating those pills you found on the men's room floor
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt butt uh I THINK TO SING IT AGAAAAIN
Commander Benjamin SisQo
entering the dragon
He's got a nice house at him
living in a world where you are constantly being shaven by dwarves
Jimmy Squarefoot
living in a world where you are constantly being threatened by dwarves
Sodomy Ruins Anuses
Sodomy Ruins Nations
Trump's role in the porn is relatively benign and centers around breaking a bottle of champagne on a Playboy branded limo while several of the playmates are visiting New York City
people in Mad Max country have heard the vainglorious promises before and are not impressed
As Trump visits metro Detroit again Friday, a new WDIV poll shows him with zero support
except coconut cheese, which is made with coconuts
CHEESE IS NOT MADE WITH COCONUTS
Ryan North, an occultist and mad scientist attempting to bring about the apocalypse taking a dump like a truck
Rowan North, an occultist and mad scientist attempting to bring about the apocalypse
taking a dump like a truck
dumps like a truck
bend over
wank me up inside
all down the street, they're standing in line
Friend or Foe
Goofy sings Smash Mouth's All Star
Goofy sings Evanescence's Bring Me to Life
that material that Jack's pulling out of the hole right now, it's the hottest stuff yet
foofaraw
argle bargle
the death of Yankel Rosenbaum
Hymietown
wanting to try grilled watermelon for insulting Turkishness
wanting to try grilled watermelon for unspecified crimes against the state
for murder
wanting to try grilled watermelon
Potoooooooo
twenty two years is a lot of time to fuck
twenty two years of tofu is a lot of time
kind of just sitting at home eating a salad
that entomology is not the study of gay trees
the explorers are known to have eaten mainly scanty amounts of canned and dry goods
Jodee Berry wins a toy Yoda
any hole's a gold
here the gold is left sitting around obese pink cunt
Now turn around bitch, put that ass on a nigga, grind on his dick make it get a little bigger
here the gold is left sitting around in open buckets
using a messy recipe
Kidz Bop Kids Colon Bring Me To Life
OK, well, we're done here
#Iwanttocuminrainbowdash
government is like, bogus
that I would make a joke about how too much pot makes you forget things, but I doubt he ever knew anyone to begin with
Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson struggled to name a single foreign leader when asked who his favorite was during an MSNBC town hall Wednesday night
he's not heavy, he's my asshole
I'm just an asshole
I'm not vegan
wondering if vegan Megalosaurses were assholes too
that even the word "theropod" sounds delicious, and you'll never get to try one
Donald Trump's company allegedly violated Cuba trade embargo, Newsweek says
Megalosaurus is a genus of large meat eating theropod dinosaurs of the Middle Jurassic period of Southern England, cheerio, clever girl
do you wanna build a scrotum
Earl "Scrotum Humanum" Sinclair
Megalosaurus is a genus of large meat eating theropod dinosaurs of the Middle Jurassic period of Southern England
Earl Sneed Sinclair
smelling what Paul Simon is cooking
Paul Simon's "I Am The Rock"
sticking together's what good waffles do
Anti Defamation League Declares Kento Ikeda a Town Bicycle
Anti Defamation League Declares Kermit the Frog a Saurian
telling the Turkish authorities that Kento is a town bicycle
insulting gay Turkishness
LGBT rights in Turkey
that Kento wanted to go from east Istanbul to west Istanbul, but he couldn't get across the Bosphorus straight
inedia
Finite Data Moan League Declares Pepe the Frog Balsam Toy, Eh
do you wanna build a snownun
the shortest mimes of the snow gods do not wish at all, in their lifetimes, for the great burgen of distributing the wine of the walls to be lightened
pan searing your Pansear
Let It Rock
feels bad swan
that Let It Go is basically I Am a Rock, but with a more uplifting melody
never having seen Frozen but watching "Do you want to build a snowman" on YouTube and wondering if the film is really an allegory for child abuse
Chocolate Freckle and Mister Hyde
thinking about the word freckle
feels bad man
Anti Defamation League Declares Pepe the Frog Shit
Anti Defamation League Declares Pepe the Frog a Hate Symbol
Heists II Gene Hackman Isn't Dead Yet
heists
Martin Shkreli Is Auctioning Off a Chance to Fuck the Eyholes of His Skull
Martin Shkreli Is Auctioning Off a Chance to Fuck Him in the Face
A man has appeared in court charged with two terrorism offences linked to the conflict in eastern Ukraine
writing "frinkleng" instead of "thinking" because you were thinking about the word freckle
thinking you grew yet another new large dark freckle on your forearm, but nope, it's chocolate
Harambe's spaghetti
paying to the order of MARTIN SHKRELI the sum of NOT CROSSING THE ROAD TO PISS ON HIM WHEN HE IS ON FIRE and NO CENTS
feeling like the whole Harambe meme already died, much like the gorilla himself
wanting to just assume Kento's #gander for his birthday
Martin Shkreli Is Auctioning Off a Chance to Punch Him in the Face
wanting to just assume Kento's #gender for his birthday
park service, they're nervous but look calm and ready
Disney's Fatasians
fat topped Asians
Fruit Song The Kids' Picture Show Fun & Educational Learning Video
fat bottomed Asians
implied, or IMPLODE
that was implied
Florida Man High On Meth Cuts Off Penis And Feeds It To Alligator
Man High On Meth Cuts Off Penis And Feeds It To Alligator
a fat gay snowAsian being Eiffel Towered by Chris Snowlydon and a snowwalrus
a snownun that was seducing a man
Chimp day
#rareMew
being rare Mew
being raring
the Miracle concluded when the snow thawed during the warm following spring, which led to flooding in Brussels
missing Talk Like a Pirate day but being raring to go for Wank Like a Chimp day
grindm
wait a minute
grindr, I hardly know 'er
winterish here again O lord
braidr
dockr
Foreskin helps you find the perfect places to completely envelop with your foreskin
wanting to create an ap called Foreskin which is to Foursquare what Grindr is to Tinder
haven't done it yet, no homo
slamming your foreskin in the car doorknob
fucking men
he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he could club you to death easily with that thing so be good for goodness' sake
that he can completely envelop a doorknob with his foreskin
Nose grease can be used to minimize scratches in optical surfaces, for example when cleaning photographic negatives
the Negro Seamen's Act
asking whether your gladiator likes movies about servers
asking whether your server likes movies about gladiators
all the people getting hand jobs on badrobot dot com
observing that your server must work out
yiffing for Mark Hamill at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, this Sunday at eight in the evening
Two men arrested in the killings of a California couple were friends with the victims' teenage daughter and all attended "furry" events where some participants dress up in colorful animal costumes, according to friends and their social media pages
wiping your server with a cloth
Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson escorted off debate premises, tweets "man, dd you ever think about how weird hands are, they're like, soooo weird man"
Green Party candidate Jill Stein escorted off debate premises, resorts to Twitter
taking Manhattan, I'm saurian here
bottoming for Harvey Dixmoor in Anal Exams VII
Before he became a frog, Kermit had a saurian like appearance here
Harvey Dixmoor School District
Han is stunned to find the spitting image of his dead wookiee in a slice of MAM
Man is stunned to find the spitting image of his dead dog in a slice of HAM
feeling like ordering a bunch of tshirts with just a big ol' hashtag on them because fuck it, it's twenty sixteen, you'll be remembered as one of the great communicators of the age
disinterring Arnold Palmer's corspe and putting the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated young courses
Pierre the French Rat
disinterring Kermit the Frog's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his felt in order to violate him like he violated poor Yorick
a purple skull Muppet from Sam and Friends that often tried to eat Kermit the Frog
having a better day already
having no map to find your way amongst these foul cod studs
a pizza hut a pizza hut kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut
having no map to find your way amongst these clouds of dust
Mosier said his parents have "literally two cows," and his mother dotes on them, even rubbing them regularly with coconut oil
Angry patrons and animal rights activists are calling on vegans to boycott the restaurant after learning that owners Matthew and Terces Engelhart have begun eating meat and consuming animals raised on their private farm
German business sentiment surged to the highest level in more than two years in September in a sign that corporate concerns are easing over the economic outlook and the consequences of Britain's decision to leave the European Union
Pope Catholic, an industry survey has found
Britain's financial services firms are becoming more pessimistic about their prospects, following UK's vote to leave the EU, an industry survey has found
Kim Kardashian not voting for Trump, Trump campaign pushes back, vows to capture the coveted "fatassed talentless trash" vote
urban elf shelves
boffins
urban head islands
urban heat islands
all the people getting beheaded on graciefilms dot com
drawing a picture of Orlando Bloom bottoming for Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean, John Rhys Davies, and Sir Ian McKellen in Wreck Yo Elf VII
wrecking yo elf
Elf on the Shelf XIX Out of Elf Jokes Error Insert Fresh Spool
Elf on the Shelf XVIII Out of Elf Jokes Error
Elf on the Shelf XVII Elf Choice Awards
Elf on the Shelf XVI Barely Legal
Elf on the Shelf XV Puking Duck
Elf on the Shelf XIV le Roi Soleil
Elf on the Shelf XIII Curse of Freddy
Elf on the Shelf XII HIGH NOON
Elf on the Shelf XI Soccer Team
Elf on the Shelf X Sign on the Assembly Line
Elf on the Shelf IX Cumfart Tsunami
Elf on the Shelf VIII I Am I Am Elf on the Shelf I Am
Elf on the Shelf VII Elfin Gay Asians
Elf on the Shelf VI To Sell Toys
Elf on the Shelf V Superman
Elf on the Shelf IV League of Their Elf
Elf on the Shelf III Check Yo Shelf Befo U Wreck Yo Elf
Elf on the Shelf II Elf off tha Hook
Elf on the Shelf, a Christmas tradition about a thirtysomething elf whose friends are all married and settled and who cannot find love or that great job that they always hoped for and fears owning a dog or cat would make them a crazy person eventually
I think it was his most successful fundraiser, the most successful that he had had up until that point, that was in Trump Tower in New York on Fifth Avenue
eating the kernels of that entire fresh flint corn cob one by one, raw, over a couple of days
when you tried to explain to your parents how them kids these days make money from social media and YouTube and all your parents grasped from it was that you were thinking of monetizing yourself with magic internet beans, which you are not thinking of
honestly, the week I've had, a movie theater blow job from a rice fag sounds pretty good
not understanding the kids these days, with their rice fags and their movie theater blow jobs
we're too old
not really getting into the spirit of internet
having used an adblocker for so long that you literally didn't realise YouTube was doing interstitial video ads until you got a smartphone
learning that advertisers don't pay if you clip the skip button on a youtube ad, so from now on you might consider watching them through but never ever buying the product just to spite them
giving away skeletonsex dot boo
no, no, it was clever and a welcome callback for an old fave
that was dumb, sorry
Jacksoneyeshootscracy
jingshootscracy
ochlocracy
it's all just a bunch of matter
starting a lifetime of friendship with mom's spaghetti, a spaghetti you will one day vomit on your sweater
inevitably you might have to upload them to skeletonsex dot boo for the sake of posterity
a diary or perhaps pictures or a video recording
you should probably keep track of how many times you have sex with his wife
as someone who has had sex with his wife at least twice, he's probably used to frigid places
Mr Nagell is also a part time music journalist, and said he doesn't enjoy doing that either
starting a lifetime of friendship with Canada, a country you will one day inherit
the bitter rivalry between slimricefag dot com and fatgayasians dot com
all the people getting head on slimricefag dot com
oomox, no homo
oomox
I apologise
I was just trying to mix it up a bit
okay, fine, Borald Johump, Jedi Knight
I wish I was dead
Borald Johump, Podracing Champ
Borald Johump
dude the sun is going to actually grow and encompass the Earth
wondering how many times Snoop Kidd has had his spelling corrected by well meaning fans
wondering how many times Snoop Dogg has had his spelling corrected by well meaning fans
elaborating fantasy house construction scenarios involving Stephanie from Full House and Stephanie from LazyTown
deconstructing elaborate sexual fantasy scenarios involving Stephanie from Full House and Stephanie from LazyTown
you know that I love cake
constructing elaborate sexual fantasy scenarios involving Stephanie from Full House and Stephanie from LazyTown
resigning your spirit to God and your daughter to your country, both of which sound like ideas which could easily backfire
he's a regular modern day Bill Murray, if Bill Murray had just completely given up on putting any effort into his work
wondering if audiences would notice or care if French Stewart played essentially the same character in President Stoner that he did in President Housekeeping
Owen Wilson's diction
an invisible man, cummin' in your face
drawing a picture of Owen Wilson being faced fucked by the invisible man, spoiler alert, it's every picture of Owen Wilson
drawing an image of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump being face fucked by Owen Wilson
giving your vulcan love slave the trellium D
that image where someone face fucked Boris Johnson and Donald Trump and it looks like Owen Wilson
Aluminium oxynitride
all right, who are you
Gracie is pregnant
that image where someone face swapped Boris Johnson and Donald Trump and it looks like Owen Wilson
all in all it's just another mouse in the wall
that for all you know the rate of one mouse in one wall per year is going to sharply diminish in future, but it's not helpful
literally having another mouse in the walls
Tammy Lynn Leppert
President Stoner, starring, let's say, Owen Wilson
finally figuring out what Gracie was filming
wondering if you actually have another mouse in your walls or if it is a figure of speech
as terrifying as the idea of President Trump is, it's easier to rest with than the idea of President Stoner having it explained to him that no, he can't just ignore stuff that isn't mellow
laws are just you know really harsh
what a time to be alive, when a guy who is clearly high can run for president on a platform of "dude, taxes are, like, lame"
another bloody mouse in the walls
"I think I could stand up there for the whole debate and not say anything," he mumbled, before adding something incomprehensible
pen pineapple apple pen
toting all those goats
all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com
little things
the only thing really stopping you going to Paris and signing up pour la legion etrangere being that you know you'd demob at forty five or fifty and have no idea what to do, no money, and probably have lost your original citizenship too
a bad day, not the worst day, but you know, with the exhaustion all week, scraping the car this afternoon, and the awkward lunch, pretty shit
rub that shit it's yours bitch, grab his dick it's yours bitch
you know you can't be lazy
that's a fine line of automobiles
Anushka Shetty
Vivienne
Knox
Pax
Shiloh
Zahara
Maddox
feeling really sad suddenly, like you've always imagined withered old FAIRIES must feel
feeling really sad suddenly, like you've always imagined withered old queens must feel
it's totes a rocket ship
noticing that tattoo for the first time, but not really seeing what it is and being curious but also very aware that you can't really stare
the awkward lunch
T%l Time
letting your teacher know that all the kids call her fartface
Suspended Teacher Allegedly T%l Student to "Lick Me Where I Fart"
Suspended Teacher Allegedly Told Student to "Lick Me Where I Fart"
writing a check for your b%wing
REGRETS ABOUT PONY BEL%WING
regrets about pony b%wing
giving someone your last R%
Han S%
l%l%l%l
y%
eating c%n
fat gay Asian boys you make the podcastin' world go round
the bell that rings inside your mind is challenging the doors of time
left alone with fat gay Asian Fanny
left alone with big fat Fanny
it's just like the season to be lonely
having impure thoughts about a twentysomething Julianna Rose Mauriello saddlebacking
having impure thoughts about a twentysomething Julianna Rose Mauriello
saddlebacking
having impure thoughts about a teenage Julianna Rose Mauriello
it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake
the whole crowd goes spaghetti
he only grows harder
he blows his own daughter
talking about poop poop poop muzik
not talking about slap slap slap muzik
talking about pop pop pop muzik
well, you talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot it, talk aboot, talk aboot, talk about movin', eh
well, you talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about, talk about, talk about movin'
I cannot forbear carrying my watch in my hand in the coach all this afternoon, and seeing what o'clock it is one hundred times, and am apt to think with myself, how could I be so long without one
wondering why you had butt sex with Dom Deluise then wondering who could have resisted that temptation
letting it slap, slap, slap that you love hot kids
letting it slip that you love hot kids
letting slip the hot kids of love
Your potential regret of way ahead of you has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
drawing a picture of Sean Astin fellating Eliijah Wood while he takes a shit and Sir Ian McKellen watches from a tree and masturbates
Blumpkinshire
Motherfuckersville
Blindington
Effingham
Kentography, the study of drawing pictures of Kento being Eiffel Towered
wondering where you should shop your SUB Deluise sex tape
getting so high you can hear heaven ask for its nickel back
wondering why you had sex with Dom Deluise but then wondering who could have resisted that temptation
Kento isn't getting tomatillo one from me
dreaming that Ryan left a Ryanesque note to potential newcomers explaining about deep meme fields right over 'add a new regret' and a passive aggressive note beneath that asking us, me to maybe tone it down
forcing yourself to dp
they say that a hero could save us I'm not gonna stand here and wait
wondering where you should shop your Dom Deluise sex tape
wanting to make Kento some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh coriander for his birthday
letting slip the hot dogs of war
the best VEGAN fast food you've had all year being some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh cor
eating ass so often
the best fast food you've had all year being some all beef hot dogs from a can on brioche buns with Heinz n Tabasco chipotle ketchup and a salsa verde made from the tomatillos you grew yourself with a little lime juice, a little onion, and fresh coriander
wanting to make Kento a Jucy Lucy for his birthday
eating out so often
Pizza on the Roof
Malcolm in the Middle Earth
RIP Moose
Donald Trump's entire persona feels like it was built by some sort of algorithm that analyzed Twitter eggs and Nazi frog memes
or the dog from Frasier
I'd rather have Gary Fisher
hope he's got deep pockets
Gary Sanders, dog of Vermont Senator and former Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders, is to bid for the seat vacated by former Prime Minister David Cameron in Britain's parliament
Larry Sanders, older brother of Vermont Senator and former Democratic presidential contender Bernie Sanders, is to bid for the seat vacated by former Prime Minister David Cameron in Britain's parliament
Would you damn bastards bring those damn ballot boxes out here or we are going to set siege against the jail and blow it down!
All Star by Smash Cervix
it was awfully bloody
not every woman wants you to really smash her cervix
I should bloody well think so too
II Deep II Furious
The channel broadcasts several kinds of programming, mostly encrypted
learning to program in OneEyedPython instead of Anal C Plus
CanalPlus
Dorn's Deep having one weakness
forcing yourself too deep
forcing yourself to sleep
Harry Potter and the Order to Eat Marijuana
Ornella Fleury est une comedienne encore peu connue du grand public
Pokemon Marijuana and Resigning
Three Phoenix Cops Return to Duty After Forcing Man to Be Marijuana and Resigning
that was quick
Three Phoenix Cops Return to Duty After Forcing Man to Eat Marijuana and Resigning
She had mocked the actor for being sodomised by a three metre tall demon in one of his films and then suggested her fantasy would be for him to invite his friends Leonardo di Caprio and Brad Pitt round to their hotel room, but then for him to leave
Three Phoenix Cops Resign After Forcing Man to Eat Marijuana
inserting three AAA sized batteries into Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner SOUNDED by Feds in New York for Alleged Sexts to Teen
Anthony Weiner Probed by Feds in New York for Alleged Sexts to Teen
The Crown Prosecution Service has advised that it is unable to investigate whether someone is or is not in fact a right cunt
The Crown Prosecution Service is to review allegations that Nigel Farage incited racial and religious hatred during the EU referendum campaign
on balance off balance doesn't matter
Lazy Town Cooking by the book remix ft Lil Jon
a fairly notorious semen by the Rev wait I'm not falling for your trap, you can write this one yourself
a fairly notorious sermon by the Rev John Cumming
Once and future Spermtails star Kento Ikeda
Current Spermtails star Kento Ikeda
Former Spermtails star CJ de Mooi
Former Eggheads star CJ de Mooi
the Kaiba Dome
die schnapsidee
North Las Vegas doctor arrested amid lewdness investigation
Breen Beru
Breen
Reagan, Goneril, and Kentodelia
Gonald Trumeda
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of wanking into doors
Donto Trumeda, Jedi Master
using the magnificent power of science to fulfill your own selfish ambitions
Donto Trumeda
doubleunsemengood
that it's pretty much unjust semen
that it's pretty much just semen
tuskerfucks
tustardtucks
clusterfucks
no screaming eagle shit
oh baby a triple!
Union Jack to be replaced by animated gif of Agadoo
our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors
we're actually having a rebrand, we're going to be the Bunglish from now on
Your comment must be in British or it will be removed
Your comment must be in English or it will be removed
The crystal tears of a mountain giant
Stonetear
One person fatally shot in second night of protests in Charlotte following shooting
sending cash through the human centipede
not particularly
Hey, I'm going to pop both of my balls by squeezing them really hard, Wanna watch
sending cash through the mail
NASA to Hold Media Call on Evidence of Surprising Activity on Uranus
Britain approves referendum to leave Europan Union
NASA to Hold Media Call on Evidence of Surprising Activity on Europa
drawing a picture of Tinky Winky and Dipsy eh ohing on Coolio with the caption "Time for Tubby Tustard"
bottoming for Coolio in I'll F U When U Get There VII
thinking of visiting the wizard to see if he can get you one a them brains
wishing you were better at sound editing so you could turn Coolio's "I'll C U When U Get There" into a Teletubbies dub
spreading the hugest male
spanning the hugest male
making the hugest spanner
chlamydia while you take the hugest vacation
chlamydia while you take the vacation of a lifetime
making a spanner out of Bruce Banner's poo
catching these men
Because we wanted to make your holiday as romantic and relaxing as possible, only couples may stay at Sandals, where you can catch chlamydia while you take the vacation of a lifetime
sandals
sandle semen
semen Sandler
you've never pissed like this before, people are coming from all over the world to piss here
best piss ever
A pub in Nottingham has put Donald Trump's face in a urinal
Bono demands flags nationwide be lowered in memorium of his deceased hat
Utwo reconnaissance aircraft crashes in California, one dead
bottoming for Mel Gibson in Lethal Swan IX
fremen semen
the very notion that a swan would need any assistance in being lethal
Swan sues Samsung, saying Note VII non lethal
Man sues Samsung, saying Note VII exploded in his pants
Thigh Wang dumpster
Shin Dong bin
semen slander, I only just met 'er
I only just met 'er
chafing the dollar vagina
CHAFETHEDOLLARVAGINA
fooling the Who again
Chappaquiddick
semen slander
grass stains libel
ground in dirt libel
egg libel
SEMEN libel
blood libel
applying for a job at Steak n Shake
There have been news reports that the Zionist regime, in the case of the catastrophe of Haiti, and under the pretext of providing relief to the people of Haiti, is stealing the organs of these wretched people
German industrial metal music blasted frequently, A bright strobe light came on intermittently, and when it wasn't on a TV constantly played a loop of interracial porn
Picard told The Courant Thursday that he was standing near a state police DUI enforcement checkpoint near the on ramp to I eightyfour on Park Road at about seven pm holding a sign that read "Cops ahead, Keep calm and remain silent"
Husband of Jim Carrey's Girlfriend Sues for Wrongful Death After Her Suicide
I always preferred Steak n Shake myself
guessing that pizza hut is code for anal
watching a bad music video for an awful song and seeing the knowledge behind the mask of plastic jollity that each of the participants wears that none of them will ever enjoy more success than this
guessing that there really are some jobs worse than enforced prostitution
honestly not being able to figure out if it was a song genuinely intended for six year olds or if it was some kind of tissue thin sexual innuendo aimed at the Barbie Girl crowd, then conluding it was just a song for idiots
crying while listening to Fast Food Rockers Hyphen Fast Food Song
Fast Food Rockers Hyphen Fast Food Song
I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver
Chive Turkeys
Chive Whitener
The Chin Review
Pokemon Defecating and Urinating
that pretty much every cover of Glycerine on youtube is better than the original
Pokemon My Old Friend Fear and You and Me
I really love your peaches want to shake your tree
and how
being pretty sure that every line from Glycerine has been entered as a regret
if you, could you, would you
bleeding just to know you're alive
you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
crying while listening to Agadoo
the years have proved to offer nothing since you moved
every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
how hard it must be to play the trumpet in a full body banana costume
"Boy" defecates on Steak n Shake playground
Boy defecates on McDonald's playground
Dolomedes dondalei
fucking out of nothing at all
making love out of nothing at all
Owing to their fearsome tusks, prodigious strength, and willingness to fight as a herd, only the most aggressive or hungry polar predators risk attacking an adult walrus
it's not the same
he'd let you do it if you asked nicely
you know I'll never love again
it was a lie
good luck with that
I would want to rivet studs into Kento's iliac crest if I were not in a relationship
I would want to glue rhinestones to JLH's pubis if I were not in a relationship
anuspectacling
Vajazzling can increase risks of infection if not properly cleaned
telling Earthlink that Kento is goddamn deliberately disabling that magnificent pony in the bathroom at church
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a California drug pony
sucking her Philippines until she used the word "church" in California
making love to other gay fish
the chairman of Cheltenham Lib Dems, Dennis Parsons, told a special session of the party conference that careers officers were not allowed to suggest Steak n Shake as employment, then added colon "Why shouldn't they"
the chairman of Cheltenham Lib Dems, Dennis Parsons, told a special session of the party conference that careers officers were not allowed to suggest prostitution as employment, then added colon "Why shouldn't they"
pretty women out walking with Harambe down my street
the nearer your destination, the more you're slip slidin' away
the last ten minutes of all the best gay porn films is taken up by two supporting characters ejaculating over one another
the last ten minutes of all the best films is taken up by two supporting characters arguing over one another
naming your droog Georgie
naming your raggy do
naming your dog Gary
naming your homo cat
honestly wondering if Altered States gets any better or whether the remaining hour is just more stakeless nonsense about an inexplicably successful asshole taking drugs
naming your cat Homo
drawing a picture of Go and Kento pegging one another as they sixty nine and then showing it them when they finish
drawing a picture of Go and Kento pegging one another as they sixty nine
just about to do it now
going inside Pee Ikeda
h haven't d d done it y yet
peeing inside Go Ikeda
wanting to make Kento a spaghetto for his birthday
completely forgetting you made coffee
drawing a picture of Clifford the Big Red Dog smearing peanut butter on his genitals as Kento looks on
getting some danish remoulade on yo baculum
getting some peanut butter on yo dick
getting some butches on yo vulva
getting some bitches on yo dick
it's not about what he likes
he likes it dry
wanting to give Kento a butterFIST for his birthday
wanting to give Kento a butthurtfinger for his birthday
nt
I've bee here before, it ain' gonna work no more
Grandmother with biggest teeth in UK now wants granddaughter to come closer
Grandmother with biggest breasts in UK now wants smallest waist for wedding
your boobs buying rugrats on ebay
sucking her left one until she had a rugrat
triple rugrats' cocks
rugrats about pony blowing
Regrets in Paris
wanting to give Kento a butterfinger for his birthday
Rugrats in Paris
it happened to Spider Man and he's a hero
Hillary Clinton Is Actually Dead and Has Been Cloned
shaving paradise and putting up a parking lot
I got in one little gunfight and mom got scared, she said "MORE GUNS"
shootin' some bystanders outside of the school
A gun toting madman and an innocent bystander were fatally shot during a chaotic West Philadelphia shootout that also left two cops and three civilians wounded Friday evening, authorities said
bottoming for Mel Gibson in The Ninth Child
Mel Gibson's Girlfriend Is Pregnant With His Ninth Child!
your boobs buying food in Suffolk
your boobs buying food in Essex
Quisling pandas
tricking turtles into making turtle soup
Pyura chilensis
Sir's sex gel
E sex girls
Essex girls
Lowly Nude Cams
My Uncle Oswald
The deaths of a woman and a large woman
#blackscreensmatter
These updates help protect you in an online world
"Hi", "We've updated your PC" OMINOUS BLACK SCREEN
Working on updates
saying "this computer doesn't need updating, it needs a priest" in Hawkeye voice
Preparing to configure Windows
scrotegirls
demidickgirls
something something John Updike something Amsterdam something fingers something lesbian prostitute something something the aristocrats
catching fire
that as much as you liked the OS upgrades on the Stevens Mk VII, you really wish they had made the whole dickgirl thing an option
Ikeda Five Thousand and One, the original GoBot
it depends on whether they're automatic or manual
wondering whether the self driving cars will side with humanity or with the hand job robots
takearobottoafternoontea dot co dot uk
Yahoo! became self aware and decided to retire
August twenty ninth, nineteen ninety seven colon botbangers dot co dot uk becomes self aware
wondering if people in the future will really use robots for sex, and at what point the naming scheme will become a problem, like "Mk VII" or "version two point zero point two ALPHA underscore FIXED"
this is exactly what I'm talking about, Eleanor has obviously programmed the Mk VII to choose banging a door and actually getting off on it over any kind of sexual activity with me, that whole site is a scam
and I do mean banging
you say that now, but just wait until the Portman Mk VII comes banging on your door
I'm good thanks, I don't need a weird alien hand job robot to get off
that if we don't address these ethical questions about robots, we'll never reach the point where Scarlett Johanssonbot wanders the Scottish countryside banging bottomlessly hideous men
tricking a self driving car into crashing into another self driving car
goddamndeliberatelydisabledmodem dot mit dot edu
firstpleasuringthentorturingthenkillingmachines dot mit dot edu
fuckingmachines dot mit dot edu
saving the life of a unmarried teen mother at the expense of two wealth creating cats
analmachine dot mit dot edu
handjobmachine dot mit dot edu
moralmachine dot mit dot edu
look at these cans
look at this toast
toasting a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Burnt Impressions
look at this ass
that's quite the butthole
this ass
that's quite the ask
eating a butthole aficionado
something something Under the Foreskin something Ewan McGregor something something Liam Neeson
something something Under the Skin something Scarlett Johansson something something Aberdeen Anus
it's very uncomfortable because it's reminiscent of all the creeping I've done
I don't like how creepy I sound sometimes
not me, you
being a butthole aficionado
if it were possible I guarantee it would have been done already
I'm not saying if you had a higher resolution copy of this film and froze it at just the right moment you might see a very famous person's butthole, but I'm not saying it's beyond the realms of possibility
films which start slow and try to coast along with the promise of full frontal nudity and possibly a butthole but which are ultimately just kind of ok
you can't eat AAA batteries
finally figuring out that Under the Skin reminds you of Terminator, without the shrill overacting and bullshit grimderp
eating four gold medals
you can't eat four gold medals
Marlon Wayans as the voice of the dolphin because they couldn't afford Chris Rock
Melodic Mr Fin, starring Jim Carrey and, let's say Anne Hathaway
bringing your Melodic Mr Fin in here
bringing your Old Firm mince in here
helping MacHawke
helping ma boab
winning Most Scottish Men's Erect Penises Personally Witnessed with seventeen boabies
fuck marry kill, Scarlett Johansson, Ewan McGregor, Tesco
wondering if Scarlett Johansson holds the record in Hollywood for Most Scottish Men's Erect Penises Personally Witnessed or if that's still Ewan McGregor's crown jewel
kind of liking that thing where actors basically just play themselves doing things they wouldn't actually do, and maybe putting on an accent, especially given some of the alternatives
she's more of an actor than I am
feeling like Scarlett Johansson's success in tricking the world into thinking she's actually an actor is one of the great scams of Hollywood, second only to Johnny Depp
Pneumonia often shrinks hands among those close to the patient and has thus been called "the baby emdickener"
Pneumonia often shortens suffering among those already close to death and has thus been called "the old man's friend"
Kento's Basilisk
unscripted prominent erections
not having been this bored by a film since Dancer in the Dark
many scenes where Johansson's character picks up men were unscripted conversations with men on the street filmed with hidden cameras
at last, a movie that's not afraid to show the mundanely awful side of British life
thinking that were you yourself to direct a movie in which most of the action appears to be in the form of Scarlett Johannson driving a large van and talking to random Scottish people in a cut glass English accent, you'd put a nude scene up front too
You can drive vehicles weighing between three thousand five hundred and seven thousand five hundred kg
wondering whether John "Rascal" Stetson really has a COne license
wondering whether Scarlett Johansson really has a CYLINDer license
wondering whether Scarlett Johansson really has a COne license
Thin Red Nukes
Her Nude Stink
The Sunk Diner
Ken Under Shit
Drunk Teens, Hi
Tusk Dinner, Eh
Red Nut Skin, Eh
Kinder Nuts, Eh
Tender Hunks I
Deerskin Hunt
Inherent Dusk
Nude Thinkers
Stunned Hiker
Hunkiest Nerd
Shrunken Tide
Resident Hunk
when you're watching a film and it seems inconceivable to you that it isn't all over the internet in gif form
Scarlett Johansson, more like Scarlett Noclothesson
Under the Skin
Mercury, Anus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune
Anustralasia
Anustria
Anustralia
this anus
Oingo Boingo
Qinling pandas
Ogopogo
protossanusgenesis
this Protoss anus
this Martian anus
parthenogenesis
Typhoon Longwang
Me and Earl Eiffel Tower the Dying Girl
attempting a ball crush
attempting a bull rush
even Manhattan sometimes needing to construct additional pylons, I'm livin' for Aiur here
even Manhattan sometimes needing to construct additional pylons
This Monument Could Be Manhattan's Answer to the Eiffel Tower, I'm Fuckin' Here
This Monument Could Be Manhattan's Answer to the Eiffel Tower
Golgonooza
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes and Colon Powell unloading on Donald Trump's scalp and chest, respectively
Emails show Colon Powerr unloading on Clinton, Rumsfeld and Trump
Emails show Colin Powell unloading on Clinton, Rumsfeld and Trump
bottoming for Ben Affleck in I Abuse Martian Anus VII
A swan has been arrested following an allegedly racially motivated attack on a pregnant woman which caused her to lose her puppy
Bobby Darin bodyslamming Bob Dylan
I use my anus
A man has been arrested following an allegedly racially motivated attack on a pregnant woman which caused her to lose her baby
Martian Anus
pantler velvet
bodyslamming Bob Dylan
antler velvet
I abuse Myke Hawke
I was drawn to it instinctively like Myke Hawke to a flame
I was drawn to it instinctively like a shark to a flame
I did receive the press pack you sent out
I know, buddy, I know
I abuse my penis
I'm like, the greatest coward, I hurt more ferociously than anyone
they say the greatest coward can hurt the most ferociously
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by French shemale jihadist suspects
they use their penises
they're actually dickgirls
it just didn't feel right drawing him with females
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by French female jihadist suspects
Martin Anuse
French female jihadist suspects were planning Eiffel Tower attack
Martin Anus
He doesn't have a job and he doesn't appear to have realised that yet
Martin Amis showing up as a sort of pseudo pimp with an upsettingly ridiculous smirk on his face
Fancy Bears
The Charmin brand has not released a festive Pumpkin Spice variety of bathroom tissue for the upcoming Fall season
I could stand in the middle of Midtown and set Muslims on fire and I wouldn't lose voters
Cops Search for Suspect in Fire Attack on Muslim Woman in Midtown Harambe McHarambeface
dicks out for, well, probably just for Mel, let's be fair here
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins to step down as hosts of The Great British Bake Off when the show moves to Channel IV, a spokeswoman confirms
Cops Search for Suspect in Fire Attack on Muslim Woman in Midtown
Harambe McHarambeface
eating bitter fart, heh
eating the afterbirth
British police say Polish man beaten by large gang in hate crime cannot enable desirable high class prostitutes without "paying" extra
British police say Polish man beaten by large gang in hate crime
cannot enable desirable high class prostitutes without "paying" extra
tl semicolon dr I'm sorry people say shitty things
I would say something like "remember that dress you wore that was really hot" in mouse voice, but you wouldn't remember by then because of alzheimers
genuinely though I think we both know that is way too forward for me
you can't prove that was me
using "that's a beautiful dress, I want to jizz on it while I rub up against you" as pickup line
Bigger, Blacker Shrek
Bigger, Blacker Shuck
the fact of almost incestuous breeding with elves and fairies
Black Shuck
doubling your population with elves and fairies if you know what I mean
Unity Valkyrie Mitford
le Front pour la Liberation des Nains de Jardin
Icelanders are few in number, so in the old times we doubled our population with tales of elves and fairies
uncompromising enmity towards the officer class as a whole, and everything military in general
look at this graft
the fact of almost incestuous breeding
wondering what graph a half centaur would look at
I really don't want to imagine that
wondering what a half Kentour would look like distending the tiny tiger of friendship
wondering what a half Kentour would look like
distending the tiny tiger of friendship
extending the tiny tiger of friendship
extending the tiny hand of friendship
sharing Victoria's Secret and getting twenty five to life for treason
Victoria's Secret under fire for suggesting women wear lingerie to work
I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September eleventh
MP for Whitey
Dan Castenutella
drowning cats in Nutella with Dan Castellaneta
eating thigh meat with Dan Castellaneta on a dam in Castile
thigh meat
Nutella
Kento Colon A centaur with human genitals
my hi hiyeaaaah gooch one time nowww
his expected replacement has promised to be "even more odious, somehow"
The former Conservative leader said he had decided it was hard to do things so they were no longer worth doing
The former Conservative leader said he had decided it was not possible to be a proper backbencher having been at the helm of the government
pitching the Scroogedlike story "Capitol Knockers" in which goblins torture a Senator for being cruel on Christmas
French PM Colon Terror threat is 'predacon'
having dumps like truck, truck, truck
French PM Colon Terror threat is 'maximal'
goblins torture a Gravedigger for being cruel on Christmas
liking to tell people "you've got SIDS" as you hand them the mustard
wondering what a half centaur would look like
eating net castella with Dan Castellaneta on a dam in Castile
chineasetaurs
liking to tell people "you've got AIDS" as you hand them the mustard
liking to tell people "you've got meal" as you hand them the ground grains
liking to tell people "you've got male" as you hand them the penis
liking to tell people "you've got maille" as you hand them the mustard
Taiwanese Braille
half chinease
THIRTY THREE SIXTY FOURTHS elves
half elves
a popular French Canadian tale of voyageurs who make a deal with the devil in order to visit their sweethearts during the night, who are located a long distance away
RIP Sting
kind of wishing Sting had died so that you could sing "Sting ain't alive" repeatedly in a falsetto
double orcs
THIRD orcs
half orcs
seeing Le Jules Verne out of the corner of your eye like once forty years ago and living in misery every day since, then thinking Loving Hut was giving you the come on but it wasn't and you don't really understand what happened there either
"accidentally" calling up Olive Garden and telling it you were just calling up Red Robin for a booty call but you dialed the wrong number
fingerbanging Olive Garden's mom in the parking lot of a strip mall
you want to get that checked out, it could be an early sign of prostate disease
it cums in pints
#PINTofpenis
#cupofpenis
they just really like to let people know they're walkin' there
I'm walkin' here, it's a beautiful day in New York, I'm walkin' here
I'm walkin' here, it's a beautiful day in New York
I'm feeling great, it's a beautiful day in New York
ex volvoing
Lane v Sabine Parish School Board
looking at Zach Braff braffing
looking at Zach Braff
in a very real sense, drinking that expired banana, we are all milk
drinking that expired banana soy milk
earwigs did Nine slash Eleven
bottoming for Dickgirl Rachel Stevens in Um Rachel Rawness VII
literally wondering several times why people were mentioning Nine slash Eleven so much this week before it dawned on you
Even though most earwigs have wings and are capable of flight, they are rarely seen in flight
wishing you had better computer skills so you could make a "Look at this Braff" Nickelback video
Entomologists suggest that the origin of the name is a reference to the appearance of the hindwings, which are unique and distinctive among insects, and resemble a human ear when unfolded
The term "pigtail" was applied to the bunch based on its resemblance to a twisted pig's tail
One of the steps in processing the tobacco was to twist a handful of leaves together to form a compact bunch that would then be cured
wondering why they call the hairstyle with two braids "pigtails" because actual pigs' tails look nothing like that and there's only one of them
here come the Lidl things
being boss at denial but best at forget
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all Eiffel Towered him with a walrus
that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all ended in tears
that time you tried making a wedding cake and it all ended in tiers bottoming for Walrus Americans in Um Racial Rawness VII
bottoming for Paul Schrier and Jason Narvy in Two Bulk Two Play
ply
look, if you had ONE shot or one opportunity to stock up on two bulk two play toilet paper at half price, would you capture it or just let it slip
hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales
that time you tried making a wedding cake and it all ended in tiers
bottoming for Walrus Americans in Um Racial Rawness VII
um, racial rawness
Walrus Americans
dicking out an Ol' Rape for Harambe
pouring out an Ol' Rape for Harambe
pouring out an Aperol for Harambe
reading the headline Watch Live Colon Donald Trump Addresses 'Values Voters' as Watch Live Colon Donald Trump Addresses 'Walrus Voters'
Workers in plants run by the largest US poultry producers are regularly being denied bathroom breaks and as a result some are reduced to wearing diapers while working on the processing line
Diaper Poultry
British stag party cause outrage by taking 'selfies with blow up sex doll' at Nine slash Eleven Ground Zero memorial
ATTEMPTING ONE HUNDRED GHOST PEPPERS AND DRINKING BOTTLE OF ABSINTHE CHALLENGE SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
ATTEMPTING ONE HUNDRED GHOST PEPPERS AND DRINKING BOTTLE OF ABSINTHE CHALLENGE
Britain 'Tinka me chasa hopoe ma booty na nolia, says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
Britain 'too coarse and rough and irritating', says Trade Federation Secretary Liam Fox
Britain 'too fat and gay and Asian', says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
the Gascoyne Cecilian group Conservative Way Forward
the Thatcherite group Conservative Way Forward
natural one
Five percent of those with a favorable opinion of Trump said they believe Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
People 'play golf on Fridays rather than work' repeats dimwit, even though this is readily debunked
Britain 'not very nice to Mr Putin', says RT presenter Nigel Farage
Britain 'too lazy and fat', says corpulent, disgraced former minister Liam Fox, inexplicably returned to the front bench despite his utter failure to follow basic procedures during his last period in office
Britain 'too lazy and fat', says Trade Secretary Liam Fox
not making purple wang jokes when you had pug rape lawn
not making purple wang jokes when you had a purple wang
not making purple wang jokes when you had the chance
waxing gibbous
Florida Police Arrest Vladimir Putin For Trespassing At Publix Supermarket
the Foreign Legion's most precious relic
Colonic Depp
un quarteron de generaux en retraite
The Duchess of Baltimore
the Trump Golden Series and the Trump Executive Series
Jesus beat the shit out of women too
Marilyn Manson Colon Johnny Depp Was 'Completely Crucified' in Amber Heard Divorce
Moose Jaws is basically "Jaws with a Moose"
Zika Seems to Thrive in the Vagina
Baldwexit
in my country, Lesser Baldwins vacation in YOU
vacationing in the Lesser Baldwins
they said they were stars, but it was just the lesser Baldwins as usual
everything went from wrong to right and the stars came out and filled up this guy
everything went from wrong to right and the stars came out and filled up the sky
twelfth of never on the sand
I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul
up all hours sketching a thousand great schemes
crying while listening to Natalie Merchant
your mind runs down to where the river runs deep
We are not hate, we are love, we are somebody that stands out, we are miracle mattress, we make miracles happen
cryinh while listening to Joe Esposito's You're the Best Around
crying while listening to Mika's Happy Ending
the death of Sylvia Browne not getting circumcised
because of the boobs
that's much more masculine
crying while listening to Jewel
you know, you do a pretty good female impersonation
crying while listening to Bob Dylan's arse
crying while listening to Bob Dylan's Sara
crying while thinking about how much money you've spent on Enya records
crying while listening to Enya
born stubborn me
it's a Flange Nine Thousand
yeah I seen your graph
letting that padron plant get so stressed
love cuts just like a knife
Look at this graph
I don't wanna falun gong
ain't no personal thing, boy
Walrus Restaurant Couple
lifing the life
still better than Vida la Vida
Penguin Cafe Failure
Penguin Cafe Middle Aged
Penguin Cafe Single
Anhimidae
Spain, amigo
disinterring that species of extinct giants' mounds and violating the eyholes of their bones in order to violate them like they violated young Niagara
disinterring Kento's corspe and fucking the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like Chris Lydon and a walrus
dingledongers
Harambe Hitler
Andrew Johnson's Polar Bear Lady Garden
basically anybody who has a child in the next year or so and doesn't name it Harambe is literally Hitler
Andrew Johnson's Real Rad Rape Bong
The eyes of that species of extinct giants, whose bones fill the mounds of America, have gazed on Niagara, as ours do now
Andrew Johnson's Real Dong Rape Bra
Andrew Johnson's Balder Rape Organ
Andrew Johnson's Polar Bear Garden
wondering when the current half point for photographs is, that is to say, at what point in time had half of the photographs that have ever been taken been taken
Tiny Tench Mouth Tim
trench mouth
seeing two bald men fighting over a comb and going out to buy a new comb rather than take it back from them
being super tempted to register electroplatedpenni dot es but being embarrassed to display your handiwork to the people of Spain, amigo
being super tempted to register tinypen dot is but not having any suitably minuscule writing implements to display there
saying "airlifted home" as a euphemism for "forced mass transportation of a population against their will"
really enjoying the work of Robert Picardo ever since you were a kid and first saw Innerspace, and thus expecting to hear any day now that he's history's greatest monster
drawing a picture of Patrick Stewart and Avery Brooks fighting over a comb while Jonathan Frakes and Nana Visitor pee all over them
seeing two bald men fighting over a comb and thinking "god, I wish I were that dignified"
a fight between two bald men over a comb
feeling like the real shame of the Falklands is that those people could have been airlifted home or sent somewhere if Galtieri had been smart and offered to spend his war chest on a purchase of the islands, because Maggie totally would have sold them
Guerra de las Malvinas
just taking a step back for a moment and thinking about how racist China must be to come in for criticism from Brits
Air China receives criticism in the United Kingdom after it releases an advertisement warning passengers from visiting areas of London populated by blacks, Indians and Pakistanis
UN General Assembly unanimously passes binding resolution to outlaw snerging by twenty seventeen
Elly Jackson has written Rachel Stevens' comeback single about what a fucking sad old loser you are with nothing to show for your life, and the video features all your ex girlfriends and colleagues who hated you
Natalie Portman is expecting twin long rods #Two
Amazon Prime
Brent Spiner is expecting baby #Two
that it's probably too late for Stephen Fry and Stephen King to open a fast food franchise called Fry King
two pale hands up against the window pane
good for her
Brent Spiner is reported to be elated
Natalie Portman is expecting baby #Two
the clean were very old and look kinda dirty, the facility itself need to be remodeled
The hotel, housed in a beautiful building next to the Opera House, is ideally situated for both the tourism businessman
having a history of loosing your shit
having a history of losing your shirt
fuck marry kill, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Rodrigo Duterte
If he says great things about me, I'm going to say great things about him
the IKEDA effect
the IKEA effect
The American popstar Madonna agrees on a settlement with her former consort Guy Ritchie over their heir
the Imgurian daguerreotype of the horny podcaster
Toxoplasma gondii
the Jungian archetype of the horny podcaster
the phenotype of the wounded healer
the archetype of the wounded healer
not since the whole Brexit thing
Can I Blow a Foreigner
Homo ergaster
Can I Borrow a Feeling
gumming up Milhouse
coming up Milhouse
Stockbroker accused of rape 'thought woman was crying due to size of his penis'
I'm sorghum Miss Jackson, I'm a cereal, never meant to make your daughter cry, I am panicoideae
Rob Schneider doesn't count
fuck marry kill, a carrot, Carrot Top, Rob Schneider is a carrot!
wondering how much Lisa Simpson slash a carrot fanart there is
fuck marry kill, Milhouse, animals, a carrot
fuck marry kill, Ass, Cock, Fisty
that the other day you ordered a pizza that was half jalapenos and half olive and another that was half pepperoni and half sausage and they gave you one that was jalapenos and olives on both halves and another that was pepperoni and sausage on both halves
Frostillicus
fistillicus
method acting
the Spiner
wondering what you call it when you give the chariot to two people while penetrating a third
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes urinating on Patrick Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Make It Rain, #One"
Terry Silver tapped for CEO
Bayer reproposes to buy Monsanto, vows to become most evil corporation in the world
I don't love Missy Elliott like I wanna get two Missy Elliott tattoos
Shia LaBeouf Colon "I Don't Like the Movies That I Made with Spielberg"
bragging about eating virgin fire wombs
telling the Philippines authorities that Obama is a son of a whore
fuck marry kill, Ash, Brock, Misty
getting been up by a jet
getting ate up by a shark
Veronica Pooh Nash Poleate
your Manservice bang
fuck marry kill, Jessie, James, Meowth
your Manbang service
learning just now that there's just one bullet in Harambe
the equivalent of two Harambes are killed every day
not if you get passed around
learning just now that there's just one d in sodomizing
drawing a picture of William Shatner soddomizing French Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Incoming Message From the Big Giant Head"
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes urinating on Patrick Stewart wearing a tshirt which says "Make It So, #One"
Kevin Jessie
Twin Kevin James #Two
Animal made art is not subject to copyright, such as a "photograph taken by a monkey"
drawing a picture of Kevin James smearing vaseline on his lips as he prepares to secure the funding for Paul Blart III Colon Blart Hard With a Vengeance from Adam Sandler
sending Kevin James a tshit which says "#Two Kevin James"
sending Kevin James a tshirt which says "#One Kevin James"
which active actors have eaten the most cock in the past decade
which active actors have eaten the most cod in the past decade
I guess I already knew that but it's nice to have statistical evidence
two three nine to two four eight inclusive, Kevin James
which active actors are picking the best co projects in the past decade
which active actors are picking the best projects in the past decade
wondering how the impending RAW with North Korea will affect your WWE service
wondering how the impending war with North Korea will affect your Manbang service
Nearly half of Darth Maul
wanting to double check with your low key girlfriend from when you were sixteen that she did not in fact get pregnant and never tell you, because maybe being a deadbeat absent dad is better than being forever alone
UNTIL NOW
remembering hearing as a teenager about how the local private girl's school banned hairbrushes with handles because of a rampant masturbation problem, but thinking this was an urban legend
remembering the time your girlfriend in high school told you that she used her hair brush to masturbate and thinking for like a month that she used the end with the bristles
Ullikummi
forgetting Forgetting Sarah Marshall in Tehran in Tehran
forgetting Sarah Marshall in Tehran
Walruses are fifty percent more likely than turtles to switch flippers while masturbating
bottoming for Michael McCary, Nathan Morris, Wanya Morris, and Shawn Stockman, aka Boyz IN Men, in Homotownphilly VII
busting in Kento makes them feel good
too hot to handle, too cold to hold, they're called the Ghostbusters and they're in Kento
I probably wouldn't watch it, but I'd admire him for attempting it
The Fat and the Furious
considering writing a spec script in which all of the characters from the Kevin Jamesverse appear in one movie, like Paul Blart has to stop the King of Queens from assassinating the president from Pixels
I'd watch it
Paul Blart Mauls Cop
Nearly half of American zookeepers also maul cops
Nearly half of American zookeepers are also mall cops
Nearly half of American zookeepers shoot Harambe
Nearly half of British politicians switch hands while masturbating incredulity
Nearly half of British politicians switch hands while masturbating
incredulity
Nearly half of British politicians eat vaginas
Nearly half of British politicians are vaginas
Nearly half of British women cannot name the gorilla
Nearly half of British women cannot identify the vagina
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to name baby gorilla Dr Jill Stein after announcing public competition
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to take dicks out for Harambe after announcing pubic competition
Philadelphia Zoo refuses to name baby gorilla Harambe after announcing public competition
telling Edenilson Steven Valle to eat shit
always forgetting Edenilson Steven Valle can't swim
always forgetting Tommy Vercetti can't swim
Boyz II Men ABC, BBD, GmbH, LLP, DPhil, UAV, and by the way, screw you MB
Boyz II Men ABC, BBD, GmbH, LLP, DPhil, UAV
Boyz II Men going off, not too hard, not too soft
Frosty the Snowman, had a show about pranking bros, with a corncob pipe and a button nose, so he didn't have to act
twentyfive F is below freezing
Drowning in Demi Moore's twentyfive F poo
Drowning in Demi Moore's twentyfive m poo
kill move kill move, say that you kill move
The twentyfive m indoor swimming pool has recently burnt down
kill move
love milk
mooli aioli
fight milk
making a delicious horseradish aioli and not having any old man's boner to lick it off
making a delicious horseradish aioli and having nothing to put it on
I thought it was a skype car
instinct taking over
exposing yourself to a google maps car
Jewel's boobs, uh, finding a way
wondering if the reason why Jewel thought her hands were so small was that she was always cupping her boobs with them and then saving that image for, uh, later on
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to know their hands are small while spooning Jewel's boobs
Hands are fifty percent more likely than switches to masturbate while male female
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to masturbate while switching hands
Once again, an alligator in Florida has been found with a human body in its mouth
All of her ministers are deemed to be lightweight
I'm not made of airports
kind of loving sand, that magnificent bastard
your boobs buying sand on ebay
sand and sand sandwiches
dug podrace end
dug sandhog end
nun dodged shag
dude hangs dong
It is insulting for you, who have too much ass, to think you can represent Ireland
topping for Sam the Orangutan in BACON the ORANGUTAN VII
rubbing a California waffle in the Philippines
guessing that BACON the ORANGUTAN probably PICKED his own PINEAPPLE on more than DOZENS of occasions
guessing that Ham the chimpanzee probably peeled his own banana on more than one occasion
wondering who the first person to jerk off in space was and whether the fact is recorded by their space agency
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the dicks out for harambe trope
boobs out for Sylvia Browne
the death of circumcised Sylvia Browne
remembering the good old days when bots weren't terribly sophisticated and you could reasonably assume unlikely numbers of followers were down to block buying by the account holder
White nationalists and Nazis outperformed ISIS in average friend and follower counts by a substantial margin
It is insulting for you, who genetically will never be Irish, to think you can represent Ireland
The Notorious GOP
"I like to call them 'Republackans'" is right out
instead of letting Mr Trump be his freewheeling self, his campaign has prepared lengthy answers for the submitted questions, consulting black Republicans to make sure he says the right things
mr hands while masturbating
hands while masturbating
hic ambulare americanum, rex quondam, rexque futurus
Solanum americanum, hic ambulare sum
Solanum nigrum
Roman Polanski Says 'Soddomizing Drugged Thirteen Year Old Girls Is For Pedophiles'
Bill Gates Says 'Programming Is For Nerds'
Pamela Anderson Says 'Porn Is for Losers'
females are more than fifty percent hands
Jared Fogle sues the parents of one of his victims, saying they are to blame for daughter's distress
September already, like a real jerk
never loving me again
not loving me now
breaking the chain
Urtica dioica
not knowing what you touched in the garden to get the blisters up your arm
brainous farction
wondeirng why
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to drop bombs while eating mom's spaghetti
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to cut off hands while masturbating
Females are fifty percent more likely than males to switch hands while masturbating
The Five Guys in the White Asshole
The Five Guys in the White Castle
The Man in the White Castle
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of polishing a Kill man in a possible hate crime
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of kissing a Polish man in a possible hate crime
Mexican President Told Trump Mexico Wouldn't Pay For Wall
Laverne's excellent battery life
not playing the smallest notes in your band
Diana photo blends every Sunday in her memory
Six teenagers have been arrested on suspicion of killing a Polish man in a possible hate crime
Tone Trump
wondering if the Jada who complained about "Children with disabilities" was Jada Pinkett Smith
seriously, how much IS a First Class stamp
seeing someone describe a pair of labia as "tight" and wanting to fist them for it
popliteal fossa
seeing someone describe a pair of slacks as "tight" and wanting to punch them for it
Apple Colon give us your fuckin' money
Apple Colon You can have taxes or you can have jobs, but you can't have both
Harambe Copulates with Gene Wilder in Shock Viral Video
Man Copulates with Gene Wilder in Shock Viral Video
meat of Harambe
An Ohio restauranteur has filed an application to trademark the meat of Harambe
steaks out of Harambe
steaks out for Harambe
HARAMBE STEAKS
in the name of Harambe, what more in the name of Harambe
An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe
fuck marry kill, Gene Wilder, Nelson Mandela, the Bearenstein Bears
Man Copulates with McChicken Sandwich in Shock Viral Video
just kind of assuming that Gene Wilder had already died
the death of Gene Talia
the death of Gene Wilder, that magnificent bastard
the death of Gene Wilder
A clown in the woods has this South Carolina town on edge
slightfinity
INCOMPLETE INFINITY
After she sent him a cartoon image of a pump bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues, he responded with a graphic, homemade text and emoji image of an ejaculating penis
At one point, she sent him a shot of herself wearing a pair of black tights with a rip in the rear, near the midline, along with the message, "thank you for being a friend"
At one point, she sent him a shot of herself wearing a pair of black tights with a rip in the rear, near the midline, along with the message, "Buns of steel"
hitting me with those laser beams
that does seem to have been the problem
weiners out for Anthony
Anthony Weiner sexted busy brunette while his son was in bed with him
At least one of the photos Crotch sent the woman showed his underwear clad weiner as his son Jordan slept next to him in bed
At least one of the photos Weiner sent the woman showed his underwear clad crotch as his son Jordan slept next to him in bed
I guess it is kind of late
try getting some sleep
it'll pass
normally only feeling like this when someone switches out your teabags for caffeinated ones, but your jerk brother in law not having been around for months so that being a very unlikely scenario
Australia must be pretty terrible for that to be true
the first one is the worst, crikey
you're clearly having a much worse weekend than I am
having what you can only describe as kind of dingo claw rape attacks all weekend
having what you can only describe as kind of low grade panic attacks all weekend
wondering whether Trump was bragging or y'know actually bragging about shooting a man in the middle of fifth avenue
wondering how many questions at the first presidential debate will be in the "fuck marry kill" format
nearly braffing during dinner because a chicken tendon got wrapped around the wire of your braces and dangled partway down your throat
nearly barfing during dinner because a chicken tendon got wrapped around the wire of your braces and dangled partway down your throat
incendio
fuck marry kill, Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie, Hayden Christensen
smugness
tofu
a hollowed out cactus
burlap
hemp
wondering what vegans who are heavily sensitized to latex do for condoms
GOATSkin
to fuck your t key sooner than the rest
sheepskin
wondering what people who are heavily sensitized to latex do for condoms
wondering if opening new tabs is the extra wear that always seems to fuck your t key sooner than the rest
Inspired by graphene's "hexagonal molecular structure," LELO incorporated such a structure into the HEX, which it says is less likely to slip or tear and "maximizes sensitivity"
prefabricating Jewel's sprouts
prefabricating Jewel's bra
fuck marry kill, Kento, Brian Peppers, Sylvia Browne
prefab jewery
everything awful oh god somebody do something
Pokemon Roast and Ride
Trump Promises Crackdown On Immigrants At Iowa 'Roast And Ride' Event
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in the style of Tom of Finland
prosopagnostication
prosopagnosticism
reading a crap book about ready made Hebrews
fuck marry kill, Lauren Tom, Kiana Tom, Tom of Finland
delicious art is anal sandwiches
A Fridge Too Far
Facial Attraction, the psychological thriller for prosopagnostics
betting that there's a Fecal Attraction porno out there somewhere but really, really not wanting to confirm that
Fecal Attacker Horvath
Fetal Attacker Horvath
Fatal Attacker Horvath
eating a Mary Sue
being a Mary Sue
lots met ealing elf
self sealing stem bolts
said I'd like to know where you got the lotion
it was a dickgirl
not being sure you're allowed to write sexual regrets that aren't gay
Boob Sperm Unit I
bottoming for Buttsy Wrong in Bimbo Eruptions VII
bimbo eruptions
Blue Jayson David Frank
Amy Jo Jackdaw
that you keep hearing this bird outside that sounds like its doing the "Go Go Power Rangers" chirp
tres jols
Pujols
Poo Trols
s l o u w w
s t o o p i d d
t h i c c
that only works in Pro Tools
trying to ctrl z with a rape clip and pen
trying to ctrl z with a pencil and paper
that's a hell of a long time to have an erection, you should get your prostate checked
that Sammy the orangutan died six years ago
dicks out for Dunston
Glycon Checks In
Glycon
Gugalanna
being braffed by a scrub fairy
being slehn by a BUSTER CRABBE
that's never going to feel good
being slehn by a GARDEN STATE fairy
feels good
being slehn by a BUSTER fairy
being scrubbed by a sleh fairy
being slehn by a scrub fairy
scrub fairies, eh
fuchsia berries
fuschia berries
#arthurmemes
not actually having heard the dicks out for Harambe song that the phrase apparently started from, but being pretty sure things have now progressed to the point that it's not really important any more
a delightful and funny family film of exceptional high style
not really understanding the whole dicks out for Harambe thing
Dunston Goes Down
drawing a picture of Jason Alexander receiving a prostate exam from Dunston
Bisexual Sixty Nine Repenetrated
Highway Sixty Nine Revisited
walrusworld dot wikia dot com
Planet Walrus
Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid Double Team a Guy
New Morning Wood
Self Portrait of Being Eiffel Towered
Boston Coastline
Chris Walrus Hardon
Asian on Asian
Homo Sixtynine Revisited
Sinking It All Back In
The Flippers They Are a Graspin'
not charging those power bars when you had the chance
the bluish grey colour of cashew milk
Desmond Dekker dismounts Des Moines Iowa double decker
paper beats scissors
not being able to listen to 'The Isrealites' without hearing the 'Vitalite' lyrics instead, and hoping Desmond Dekker got a big fat payment for that awful advert using the song
centaurworld dot wikia dot com
thinking there was a Myke Hawkechafer in your bedroom but it turning out to just be a blue bottle
thinking there was a cockchafer in your bedroom but it turning out to just be a blue bottle
Law School Daze
The PAPER is the highest paid actor in REALITY
The Rock is the highest paid actor in the world
Kiana's Flex Appeal
gotta crash 'em all
Japanese truck driver playing Pokemon Go kills pedestrian
krilldigcrowd dot wikia dot com
dickgirlworld dot wikia dot com
everyone has limits
not knowing why they didn't just go with a horsedick
being mounted by loa
what some people jack off to
a video depicting an art student's performance, in which she opens a can of expired Spaghetti Os, rubs them on her shirt, and proceeds to finger herself while urinating in a can
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes smashing Patrick Stewart's mouth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
cuz he's so smoooooth
feeling like Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana would be the perfect soundtrack for a short film of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
being slain by wet orgasm shampoo
being slain by a smooth swamp ogre
that it seems like Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana has become the new All Star by Smash Mouth all of a sudden
being shaved by two hordes of barbaric yellow dwarves
hordes of barbaric yellow dwarves
believing you can touch this guy
believing you can fly
it's easy to grasp
Jerry Sandusky Colon A Year After Double Hand Transplant Nine Year Old 'Can Do More Than I Imagined'
Zion Harvey Colon A Year After Double Hand Transplant Nine Year Old 'Can Do More Than I Imagined'
fuck marry kill, Belle Gunness
fuck marry kill, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle
Stephen King's The Edging
the edging
edging
bonosexuality
robosexuality
that bonophobic
that's homophobic
finding association with Threepio to be significantly more distasteful than association with Emperor Palpatine
because Rtwo Utwo can fly YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
telling the Philippines authorities that Gordon is a moron
douchescreen displays
how even more jarring it seems that the Minority Report movie does in fact predict both wireless data transfer and touchscreens, but goes out of its way to show the cops in the ultramodern precrime unit not using those things in their office
Prince Harry Challenges Gorilla Harambe to be Shot Dead With Bullets for Fun
wishing you'd spent the last fourteen years saying 'peecrime' whenever anybody brought up the Minority Report
Peecrime
because Rtwo Dtwo can fly
much preferring the foundry scene from Attack of the Clones to the eerily similar and similarly scored one in The Minority Report
Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, & Lisa
Pine & Oats
how jarring it seems that the Minority Report movie didn't predict wireless data transfer even though it was already a thing and went to such lengths to avoid using touchscreens
NSFW party shut down after Lee Rhiannon tweets about it
Greens acrimony Colon Bob Brown unloads on Lee Rhiannon at NSFW party
Greens acrimony Colon Bob Brown unloads on Lee Rhiannon and NSW party
finding association with Bono to be significantly more distasteful than association with Jeffrey Epstein
Utwo rocker and philanthropist Bono, also a regular at foundation events, wanted high level help broadcasting a live link to the International Space Station during concerts
Prince Harambe, the racist, alcoholic, unrepentant gorilla which is clearly an orangutan but nobody ever says anything about that officially
Harambe Colon Stop making memes of our dead gorilla, Cincinnati Zoo pleads
wondering if Ghari has just been trying to get a hold of Kento all this time
The practicalities of milking cockroaches are considerable
Prince Harry Challenges Fellow Officer to Enjoy Being Referred to by Extremely Racist Epithets for Fun
chia candidate bernie sanders
Prince Harry Challenges Noted Bigot Nigel Farage to Wear a Nazi Uniform and Sing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Convicted Sex Offender Max Clifford to a Self Publicising Act of Onanism for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Football Legend Paul Gascoigne to a Drinking Contest for Fun
Prince Harry Challenges Olympic Champion Usain Bolt to a Race for Fun
sulfur trioxide
dihydrogen monoxide
David the rapist
undergoing a yoloscopy
building a yoloscope
the new premium rate service for losers
chat swans, get banged
SWANBANG
bottoming for Kim Jong un in Manbang & Kill VII
MANBANG
punching Mullah Beech
that's unfortunate
My Transsexual Cousin Wants My Man
Moolah Beach
Obama's Vacation Glow May Fade Quickly Ahead Of Busty Fall
beeching Puncher Sist
punching Sister Beech
building a nohomosphere
building a noosphere
building a nooscope
Summer isn't complete without the sound of a singing katydid in your courtyard
the nooscope
urinate defecate depilate, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Patrick Stewart
I actually really like LeVar Burton, I just don't like LeVar Burton culture
that wasn't meant to be a racist thing
oh, shit
fuck marry kill LeVar Burton, Geordie LaForge, Kunta Kinte
fuck marry kill, Harambe, Binti Jua, Jambo
Brother Of Omran Daqneesh, Bloodied Syrian Boy In Viral Image, Has Died, But He's Not Nearly As Photogenic So Who Gives a Shit
Ave Maria
Abe Mario
asking that right after establishing that we can't post regret links as comments any more
wondering what the worst thing anybody has ever written is
What really did shock me more than anything was that parental consent was not sought and was not thought to be necessary by the powers that be
they might be spam
just now realizing that we can't post links to other regrets anymore
saying frankly like, a lot
writing the worst thing anybody has ever written
NAGBLA
Cincinnati firefighters said the boy was peeling back Harambe's foreskin at the time the shot was fired
fun with acrostics
dining at the P
dining at the OY
dining at the O
making a point and then making a fool of yourself
dining at the Y
fuck marry kill, eighteen year old Kento, twenty eight year old Kento, thirty eight year old Kento
man it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun
dicks out in out in out in out Kento
Cincinnati firefighters said the boy was between Harambe's legs at the time the shot was fired
dicks out in Kento
usually, yes
dicks out for Kento
wondering who had a worse life, Kento or Harambe
Pam, the local schoolmaster, was killed by the village vicar after refusing to stop fiddling around the area after dark
fearful of being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped out of the Quantum Leap Accelerator and turned the power off, then burned his notes and research papers, oh boy
Maine wants pubic comments on busty referendum season
Maine wants public's comments on busty referendum season
She told him to pray and think again
if dreams were wings, you know I would have flown to you peter masonic lodge
if dreams were wings, you know I would have flown to you
peter masonic lodge
anthony ski lodge
nude thong thong fluid
if I only had a thong
Kim Kardashian Oils Her Butt and Twerks Down Yellow Brick Road Colon GIF
Kim Kardashian Oils Her Butt and Twerks in Racy Bikini Snapchats Colon GIF
henry cabbit lodge
the emperor skekSo's rap rock band, Rage Against the Gelfling
some of those that were walrus, are the same that do podcasts
Kento's rap rock band, Rage Against the Eiffling
swimming in the same tank as Kento
sleeping in the same bed as Kento
King Horn is a Middle English chivalric romance dating back to the middle of the thirteenth century
that there is no option to vote both "no" and "haven't done it yet" for a single vote
bottoming for Steven Rachels in S&M Club VII
that S Club Party is so much better than Don't Stop Movin'
To gain a better understanding of Mr Trump's holdings and debt, The Times engaged RedVision Systems, a national property information firm, to search publicly available data
that Together Forever is so much better than Never Gonna Give You Up
sleeping in the same bed as Diglett
kentoTERRIBLE
kentowurst
wurst
sleeping in the same bed as dago
sleeping in the same bed as degu
being too busty for Myke Hawke
being too busty to make a sandwich
that Kento's birthday passed a week ago and you didn't even have a chance to make him a sandwich
because honestly, when else are you going to have that opportunity
thinking that if you are going to have sex in public and you are caught out by passers by or international news crews you owe it to yourselves to go full porno
Pedro Duncalved
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "SNICKERS sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves
Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "marathon sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves
BBC appears to air couple having sex in the background of Rio broadcast
Donald Trump poos black stools colon 'What the hell do you have to lose'
Donald Trump woos black voters colon 'What the hell do you have to lose'
Kelly Gale shows off her incredible figure in a VERY busy selfie
sleeping in the same bed as Doug Funnie
eating from the same bowl as a dog parks, no matter how small a dead gorilla
sleeping in the same bed as a dugong
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Big Willie
Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Miami Beach Where Zika Is Spreading, Jig It Out, Uh
sleeping in the same bed as a dong
that's what skype is for
do you really have to watch me all the time
doing a job with your hand
that I'm not being distant, I'm just busty
Busty mom's volunteering, leadership get her belled
sleeping in the same bag as a dog
List of bustiest airports by passenger traffic
Paramedics 'bustier than ever' amid increase in seriously hurt patients
that several times over the last few days you have accidentally read the word "busier" as "bustier" in headlines
that's racist
racing in the same pod as a dug
Reszka is an instructor in krav maga, a martial art cum defence technique that is in the news because at the weekend it emerged that a company called Parli Training was offering instruction in the art to anxious MPs and their staff
eating from the same bowl as a dog
parks, no matter how small
a dead gorilla
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Jill Stein and a dead gorilla
a nice firm mushroom pate handshake
a nice firm mushroom pate
confusing Ariel Winter with Kat Dennings because apparently the faces are up there
wondering who has a girlfriend who looks like Ariel Winter
l'orange is the new duck
l'orange is to duck as harambe is to gorilla
Picture Shows Green Party Candidate Jill Stein Tied To Dead Gorilla Harambe
#ItsInOurHands
way ahead of you on that one
dicks out for Jill Stein
Poll Shows Green Party Candidate Jill Stein Tied With Dead Gorilla Harambe
Ha'Sean Treshon "Ha Ha" Clinton Dix
NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small
A Man Who Says God Punishes Gays with Natural Disasters Had His Home Destroyed in the Flood
sleeping in the same bed as a medium sized reddish dog
sleeping in the same bed as a kid
sleeping in the same bed as a dog
Officer Jenny praises victim's bravery in coming forward
gotta touch 'em all
Ketchum man charged with sexual assault
Police Colon Twin Falls sex offender flashed 'very nasty' genitals at store employee
#hillarysstools
seriously considering joining igloo finger net, eh
seriously considering joining the foreign legion
someone genuinely having thought that you would want to discuss Babyshambles so much that they put it in your phone dictionary
Baby Beast
Crispy Thich Quang Duc
English Gardner
Donald Trump Calls Himself 'Mr Brexit'
beverly penis crusher
wesley penis crusher
penis crushers
penis crushes
wondering whether you would rather slide down a very rusty and dirty emergency slide from a burning cruise liner full of spiders or be Eiffel Towered by Dickgirl Spider Woman and Thich Quang Duc
hundreds of baby spiders slid down emergency slides from the Caribbean Fantasy
hundreds slid down emergency slides from the Caribbean Fantasy
Ellen DeGeneres has been defending herself against trolls on Twitter who called her "racist" after she posted a Photoshopped image of herself pushing a family of goats toward a bridge with the caption "This is how I'm running errands from now on"
Captain W Colon The Gay Master
Ellen DeGeneres has been defending herself against people on Twitter who called her "racist" after she posted a Photoshopped image of herself riding Usain Bolt with the caption "This is how I'm running errands from now on"
FSU student storms out of restaurant, kills couple, eats victim's face, leaves negative Yelp review
FSU student storms out of restaurant, kills couple, eats victim's face
Penis crushes LITHUANIAN vaulter's Olympic dream
your tax dollars at work
Police rescue raccoon stuck tight in drain using grease and a gentle touch
Penis sighted heading for oceanic pole of inaccessibility
Penis destroys Rio, enters Atlantic ocean
Penis crushes pole vaulters, Olympic stadium
Penis crushes pole vaulters, Olympic dream
the Ur Lenny Kravitz of Iran Reality
NATURAL TALEN
Penis crushes pole vaulter's Olympic dream
all the really useless FOOD stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the NATURAL TALEN necessary to DESTROY the UR LENNY KRAVITZ of IRAN REALITY
Captain N Colon The Game Master
all the really useless shit stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the skills necessary to defeat the first LENNY KRAVITZ of Persia game
all the really useless shit stuck in your head, like Cyber Zone, or the skills necessary to defeat the first Prince of Persia game
Cyber Zone Game Show
making it Iran
AFML
ASMR
Batman Colon Return of Such Erect Rape Dads
making it rain
Batman Colon Return of the Caped Crusaders
Frank Bainimarama
whookiee noises
wookiee noises
Whilst receiving bukkake from several individuals the subject is treated, usually forced, to several handfuls of shaved pubic hair shoved into the subjects mouth
wondering whether you would rather have a bisexual fourway with a wookiee, another guy and Princess Leia in a garbage masher on the detention level or get banged by Dickgirl Padme in the middle of the Dune Sea, without a reacharound
visiting your nan with Nana Visitor
always thinking Avery Brooks was about to burst into jazz hands whenever he did that nostril flaring anger bit and segued directly into his sweetness and light act
drawing a picture of Robert Beltran peeing on Kate Mulgrew's scalp while Tim Russ takes a dump on her chest, but it was nowhere near as good as the one you drew of Patrick Stewart
wondering whether Peter Falk and Kate Mulgrew ever hatefucked
fuck marry kill, Maris Crane, Vera Peterson, Crazy Rhoda Zimmerman
some code that took film names and ran them through a thesaurus
fuck marry kill, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman
fuck marry kill, Kim Il sung, Kim Jong il, Kim Jong un
fuck marry kill, Kim Kardashian, Kim Cardassian, Nicolas Kim Coppola
Kim Kardashian Gets DESTROYED by Minecraft
Kim Cardassian Gets DESTROYED by Angry Bajoran Mob
Kim Kardashian Gets DESTROYED by Angry Mom Blogger
not remembering what you did with the Gal Gruel Oil
not remembering what you did with the Gorilla Glue
Rossia Pacifica
fuck marry kill, Fatworld Jewel, Dickgirl Jewel, and John Carpenter's The Thing Jewel
fuck marry kill, Courtney Cox, Brian Cox, and Myke Hawke
bottoming for Courtney Cox in Cox in Your Crack VII
wondering what Bear Grylls spent so much money on that he still has to eat nutsacks
#juatdoit
#juatscrotumthings
wondering what Courtney Cox spent so much money on that she still has to work
I estimate about forty ton of rain water will go into the pond anally
Courteney Scrotumz forced to 'eat a cock full of maggots'
Courteney Cox forced to 'eat a scrotum full of maggots'
Doctor 'ripped open husband's scrotum and attacked him with umbrella when he was sick after tequila binge'
not being the fucking rice
seeing the future and it will be
having four tits
To facilitate currency transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long banking hours
Harveys Cream and Milk
Harry Sullivan is an imbecile
pokemon cream and milks, eh
Pokemon Extraordinarily Long Penises and Gonopores
pokemon hammer and sickle
Pokemon Gonopores
Pokemon GOP
Donald Trump Calls His Own Plans "Extreme"
the White Horse is the birthplace of the East London Strippers Collective
gonopores
stealing that crab's dick from the communal shell
Sacculina
A gay teenager was beaten to death in a homophobic attack by a man using a hardback book, a court heard today
that words can not hurt me
To facilitate genetic transfer between isolated individuals, barnacles have extraordinarily long penises
ASCETIC THECOSTRACANS
stoic barnacles
conical breasts
Clinton's crazy plan to build a wall between the US and Mexico
CLINTON'S CLOSE TIES TO PUTIN DESERVE SCRUTINY
The Gay Duck
Hundreds of burst spiders just ground out of the baby
I've missed you so much you can't possibly know
that's so horrible
Hundreds of ground spiders just burst out of the pussy
Hundreds of pussy spiders just burst out of the ground
The entire refrigerator was smeared with what appeared to be a sludge of some sort, varying in color from red to yellow to black
a dish called Sound of the Sea which includes an audio element
Hundreds of puppy spiders just burst out of the ground
guessing that the ice cream probably wasn't bitter
Hundreds of baby spiders just burst out of the ground
Ice cream is great!
The ice cream is as bitter and cold as the owner
You cannot go out and steal a hamburger and expect that the society will accept that, or the courts will accept that, or the general public will accept that
Hunger today seems the fault of the hungry, robble robble
You cannot go out and steal a child and expect that the society will accept that, or the courts will accept that, or the general public will accept that
Hunger today seems the fault of the hungry
wondering what it would be like if it were revealed that the Hamburgler burgled hamburgers due to abject poverty
the style of Puccini and the musical talent of Jennifer Lopez
white, chalklike fecal material
Rue "Four Dick Ass" McClanahan
thank you for bleachin' my ass
bleaching a picture of Rue McClanahan getting her butthole drawn and quartered
drawing a picture of Rue McClanahan getting her butthole bleached
BLANCHE SHAVEN Crotch
Dorothy Bush Crotch
Dorothy Straw Mann
Leroy Wood Twinkson
Dorothy Bush Koch
Percy Wood, Leroy Wood Bearson, and Thomas Mosser
the style of Gucci and the light of Lucifer
the continent or the country
India Arie
India
Cubs Apologize For Playing 'Smack My Bitch Up' Over Aroldis Chapman Exit
Erotik Kleinkunst, signiert, Roman Polanski
Die Erotik der Pokemon in Kleinkunst und Keramik
Die Erotik der Anaken in Weltraum und Sand
not chewing your food
#BlackOlivesMatter
the way that black olives often come out looking exactly like they went in
Die Erotik der Antiken in Kleinkunst und Keramik
sixtynine artists to recount sixtynine years of India post independence
you better work bitch
Germans should have to work until sixtynine, says Bundesbank
failing to thrill house
failing to kill her
failing to kiss her
failing to hold her
failing to thrill her
dicktowel dot com
kind of spooning Booby Nudebra, that magnificent bastard
Booby Nudebra
baby rub bond
Bobby Dunbar
saying that they would help his wife 'rest easier'
Belle Gunness, Jedi Knight
Belle Gunness
you gotta kind of watch it because it's hot
Weber Cooks Spaghetti
A pop up restaurant in Dublin for the brunch crowd!
taco taco
the fat man trolley dilemma
bottoming for Ryan Dochte in Robber in Rio XXXI
Ryan Lochte says he had cock pressed to his foreskin during robbery in Rio
google just being one big fucking swan
first name
Ryan Lochte says he had headed gun pressed to his forecock during robbery in Rio
Ryan Lochte says he had cocked gun pressed to his forehead during robbery in Rio
wondering whether Swan was his first name or his last name
wanting to figure out what happened to your old, improbably named roomie Swan, but google just being one big fucking swan trap
Salma Hayek as Teresa del Taco, a lesbian taco shell
going walking with the turtles, I'm walkin' here
From Here to Eternit
putting the enter and backspace keys right next to each other
From Here to Eternity
everybody knows Kentos love mashed potatoes
everybody knows Kento's made of rubber, he ain't got no feelings
dirty nuns
dirty nuns' habits
nuns' habits
your habits
you have to pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole
swimming in raw sewage beneath the streets of New York
going swimming with the turtles
Kento came in and wrote one one seven seven three two and someone else with real feelings came in and regretted heart to hearts and there may have been an australian
wondering if there was anyone else around while I was gone cramming
wondering if there was anyone else around while I was gone
cramming
Pudsey uses his ability to walk on his hind legs and knock people over to save the day
asemic writing
chocolate oat milk still being where it's at
always really liking the idea of oat milk, but then getting oat milk and it's just kind of a sad drowned cloud
I supposed that's better than suppositories
I estimate that I ate about five kilos of watermelon over the course of the week
our captain was Welsh but he didn't end every sentence with look you now or isn't it
I just walked in to find you here with that bleached look upon your ass
I'm back from Alaska with a freshly bleached asshole
the death of Kenny Baker
Pokemon Go Peepee and Go Poopoo
Pokemon Peepee and Poopoo
Pokemon Smelling Sex and Puma Man
smelling sex and Puma Man
the amazing Robert Zdar chin sex smell
the amazing Robert Zdar chin sex
smell
finding out Larry Drake died, and then not being sure whether you already knew and forgot or just didn't know
mondays for god's sake
hard to parse
ARSE TO ARSE
you either do or you don't, you can't store front
using both hands
drinking god's milk
drinking god's sake
monkeys for god's sake
heart to hearts
MOON BEES
walking around in the dark and stepping on a duck
walking around in the dark and stepping in a puddle
stepping on your pud
pud
being a phat chancellor
being a size L puds doctor
being a plus sized doctor
ask me in forever what I regret, I guarantee it'll be the same old shit
that not even regret lasts forever
i dream of twixes
himbos do the roomba
the way your toenails get sharpened by walking barefoot on sand
thinking goomba was a dunce
konami chodes
hosting a shameful himbo limbo contest
programming himbos into your game
himbos
do the roomba
thinking roomba was a dance
konami codes
be twixed
twix
it is a very serious matter indeed
there's nothing funny about sterilisation
wondering how it is you've come to be such a joke
docking after a successful cruise
ps I'm in your luggage
I guess we'll both be spending a week whale watching
Dick McBeef WITH CHEESE
that I'm going on an Alaska cruise for a week so it'll just be you and Kento until next Sunday, meow
Dick McBeef
I haven't seen a Virginia shooter that good since Seung Hui Cho
Shooter Virginia Thrasher wins first US gold at Rio Olympics
the little semicolon doctor
tl semicolon dr
wondering what you get for the woman who runs away all embarrassed like when you bring her flowers and y'know could conceivably be the daughter you never knew you had but also seems kinda disappointed that you never actually asked her out
bucketing Fatworld Jewel's boobs
bullseyeing womp rats with lead encased Kento in your Tsixteen back home
jettisoning lead encased Kento into the sun to end him for all eternity
encasing Kento in lead to end the threat he poses
you have to admit that it's a pretty sweet dick
wondering how many more times we would have to enter "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics" for Ryan to change the header image mouseover to "the number google result for Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics"
IIgirlsIcup II Colon IIcupsIIcurious
seeming to recall that all the IIgirlsIcup and swap dot exe style extreme shock porn came from Brazil
having never watched Brazilian porn
always wondering how many of the participants have been eaten by the pigs and or dogs owned by a millionaire rather than returned to their brothels in the favela when watching Brazilian porn
the Olympic village includes the world's largest storm drain system, built right under the accomodation
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Strip Ludo With Minor at Youth Camp
when thousands of athletes at the top of their game come together
the raunchiest games ever
two point six two fucks per day
forty two condoms per athlete
wondering how Fatworld Rachel Stevens died, like was she just starved to death when her local McDonalds was closed by a fatter star just passing through, or did she die in a freak freight elevator accident, or is she some kind of freak that doesn't bulk
wondering whether you would rather have sex with Dickgirl Jewel or Fatworld Jewel, but not knowing whether your desire to spoon Jewel's boobs would outweigh your love of women by the pound
Ghostbusters Colon Cum Tans of Lime
Ghostbusters Colon Sanctum of Slime
wondering whether you would rather Eiffel Tower David Cameron with dickgirl Rachel Stevens, or be Eiffel Towered by dickgirls Cameron Diaz and Rachel Stevens
The Number Google, all new screwball comedy starring Jason Bateman and Heather Graham, coming this fall on Netflix
finding Rachel Stevens' suspicious package at the Eiffel Tower
French police said the evacuation alert was based on a false alarm, reportedly about the finding of a "suspicious package"
the number google
wondering how many more times we would have to enter "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics" for us to become the number google result for "Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics"
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in Myke Hawke
Dickgirls I'd Like to Fuck
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my book of condolence
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens forty foot dickgirl pics
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my obituary
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in a forty foot high mural I painted on the side of my office
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics in my wedding album
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my resume
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my phone background
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics on my harddrive
how easy it is to find Rachel Stevens dickgirl pics
Report Colon Eiffel Tower Evacuated
imaginininination
imagining something which actually exists and therefore requires no imaginination
receiving a Fieschi letter
Accounts that he had been killed by the insertion of a red hot iron or poker into his anus slowly began to circulate, possibly as a result of deliberate propaganda
Mayor on youth camp strip poker charge colon "I never endangered a child"
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Audacity works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Adobe Audition works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Reason works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
Duck I'd Like to Fuck
fictional DILFs
You could see the blood dripping from his hand and knee and he was grinning as he was walking around
A significant part of tenpin bowling history has been lost
mathematical truth
I'll go on TV and rank the races from my favorite to my least favorite
Asked About Black Friends, Clinton Says She's 'Blessed To Have A Crew'
a
cut at my labia meat, eh
spearing sexy, shirtless studs
Britney Spears' Auditions Sexy, Shirtless Studs in Her "Make Me" Music Video
mathematical beauty
i
buring yourself in a plaearium
buring yourself checking whether a lightbulb had recently been on
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing OK Stripper With Minor at Youth Camp
Pokemon George Boston and Shawn Lucas
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Pork Stripe With Minor at Youth Camp
being unable to find an age for Shawn Lucas but suspecting based on his visual appearance that the cause of death was likely heart disease, if not suicide over being involved in a high profile political argument even peripherally
Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Strip Poker With Minor at Youth Camp
the death of Shawn Lucas
Mayor of rich DC suburb charged in 'meth for sex' scheme
The Ingenious scheme tried to use artificial losses arising from backing a range of films, said HMRC
testing a hypothesis
yousa poon gonna be pyoooonished
yousa tits gonna be pyoooonished
after de jedi spits meesa unrepentantly erk yousa tits
erking her left one until she had a naboogasm
once the jedi spits i'll unrepentantly erk your tits
returning Kento's package to sender
delivering Kento's package
Boston and Shaun and Constant Sobbing
Nuahs and Notsob
the palindrome of "Boston" would be "Notsob"
Boston cream pies
Agent Cantu's physical manipulation of Petitioner's carry on bag violated the Fourth Amendment's proscription against unreasonable searches
stopping wanting to fuck me like an animal and fucking me like an animal
once the STEPHANIE lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin
once the dj lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most Asian popular performers in the world"
As part of the Wiggles, Asiann became one of the "most popular gay performers in the world"
As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most popular Asian performers in the world"
Bloom was using his penis to promote his girlfriend's hit single, "Rise," and its music video, premiering Thursday on Vevo
partying with your pants unbuttoned before going back to the cult
find your inner shitbag
Ben Affleck Arrives to Suicide Squad After Party With His Pants Unbuttoned
Bro Radley
Any joke that suggests Trump is not actually as wealthy as he claims to be
drawing a picture of Tannakin Skinker saying "I don't like bacon, it's salty and tough and irritating and the internet loves it"
Fatworld Peppa Pig
wondering if editors from the Peppa Pig wiki ever visit the Peppa Pig Fanon wiki and delete large sections with an angry "THIS IS NOT CANON" as the edit summary
rumour swept London that a pig faced woman was living in Marylebone
Damne Wuweeh
let he who is without bowels take the hugest dump
it's no wonder he struggles to take the hugest dump
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the BIGGEST penis
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger penis
it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger picture
It's pretty small
An imprint of Trump's right hand was found on display at Madame Tussaud's New York wax museum by the Hollywood Reporter
You just so out of line right now, tell your candidate to release his tax returns
it's hard to grasp
wondering how a walrus could possibly put on a lime green thong
Don't smile and wank!
MARCIA GAY used HARDEN! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Marcia Steak n Shake
Marcia Olive Garden
Marcia Asian Harden
Marcia Fat Harden
Marcia Gay Harden
grinding light tin, eh
riding the lightning, if you know what I mean
riding the lightning
Don't smile and think!
Strong Poetic Walrus
Pulsating Worst Core
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes brushing Patrick Stewart's teeth while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
Joseph Corrao, forty five, was arrested after grabbing "Pinky the Dancing Flamingo" from her pen and throwing her to the ground Tuesday evening with such force that her foot was nearly severed, according to a police report obtained by the Tampa Bay Times
Pokemon Brushing Your Teeth and Peeing
trying to save time by brushing your teeth and peeing simultaneously, but then SWALLOWING all over your own weenus as you try to SWALLOW into the toilet, not that you're trying to brag or anything
Wallaby Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Boomerang on Australia's Got Talent, Crikey
trying to save time by brushing your teeth and peeing simultaneously, but then spitting all over your own weenus as you try to spit into the toilet, not that you're trying to brag or anything
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, outrageous
Kento, in a Lincoln green thong, being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon in a Lincoln green thong and a walrus in a Lincoln green thong
Contestant Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Arrow on Australia's Got Talent, Crikey
America's Got Not Quite As Much Talent As It Thought, Apparently
Contestant Accidentally Shot in the Neck With Flaming Arrow on America's Got Talent
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Ash kills that Latias in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, cursed
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, a child
Harry Potter fans outraged that Cursed Child script is, in fact, a script
trying to fight for the Regret Index user
trying to befoul a Regret Index user
trying to bevel a Regret Index user
trying to vajazzle a Regret Index user
trying to bejewel a Regret Index user
Donald and Hobbes
My So Called Finer Boric Rape Flesh
My So Called Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Jared Leto striking you as the kind of guy who'd mooch off Uncle Phil for years, living in his poolhouse and acting like a child even though he was clearly an adult
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's pennies have electroplated from the cold
Will Smith in Suicide Squad looking a lot like Uncle Phil
I heard that in YOUR MOM on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from the cold
We need this site to be shut down because It's Critics always give The DC Extended Universe movies unjust Bad Reviews, Like one Batman v Superman Colon Dawn of Justice, two Suicide Squad and that Affects people's opinion even if it's a really great movies
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from YOUR MOM
I heard that in cars on cold nights, teenage boy's penises have broken off from the cold
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive lather up rape, a military decoration awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive a Purple Heart, a rotten racial idion awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military, ay
Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has always wanted to receive a Purple Heart, a military decoration awarded to those who were wounded or killed while serving in the US military
Then they came for me, and I did not speak out, because I didn't realize what was happening
Then they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was a Slowpoke
First they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was a Slowpoke
bananach, do doo de do do de do do de do do de do do doodle do do do doo do
drawing a picture of Joe Biden being Washington Monumented by two IDENTICAL gay White House officials in his house
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me
Then they came for the Pikachus, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Pikachu
Then they came for the Tentacruels, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Tentacruel
First they came for the Slowpokes, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Slowpoke
drawing a picture of Joe Biden being Washington Monumented by two gay White House officials in his house
Joe Biden marries two gay White House officials at his house, Mr Biden seems determined to have a good time during his last months as vice president
prickin'
Talk you off what, Pop Pop
I pitched Satan's Snatch to Animal Planet and they never even returned my calls
RIP Nick
Gigi has taken such an aversion to new kitten Suki so much that Brit journalists Julie and Nick fear that her aggression may lead to the latter getting killed
I pitched My Pussy From Perdition to Animal Planet years ago and they totally ripped me off
the host of Animal Planet shit show My Cat From Hell
Jackson Galaxy, Tattooine moisture farmer
Jackson Galaxy
bullseyeing womp pigs in your TSixteen back home
pony torpedoes can't penetrate porcine exhaust ports
hey guys, remember Exeggutor alola form
trying to behead a Regret Index user
that's not what Chewie said
proton torpedoes can't penetrate thermal exhaust ports, if you know what I mean
proton torpedoes can't penetrate thermal exhaust ports
drawing a picure of Keno being Eiffel Owered by Chris Lydon and a walrus in a planearium
Keno Ikeda, predatory odobenophile
Whoopi Goldberg, predatory pedophile
Rube Goldberg, predatory pedophile
Of particular concern is the fact that users can purchase "lures" to attract gamers to their area, an option that pedophiles could seek to exploit
New York State Bans Sex Offenders From Playing Pokemon Go
Every Jerry Sandusky Slap Slap Slapping Noise Ever
being boiled alive by Gumshoos
Gumshoos used HARDBOILED! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
not believing all the sacrifices Gumshoos has made
Exeggutor alola form
Every Arnold Scream From Every Arnold Movie
Every Tim Allen Grunt
Every Michael Jackson Grunt
you say you don't know, you won't know until you begin
roasting her beef one until she ate it off of her own breasts
trying to undress a Regret Index user
trying to give a Regret Index user a hot brown sandwich in the communal laundry room
stealing that Regret Index user's briefs from the communal laundry room
trying to debrief a Regret Index user
trying to deglove a Regret Index user
Talonflame Lickitung and Chansey, the Pokemon from Ipanema go clubbing and when they club the club they go to is the Copa, Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havana, I'm walkin' here
Pokemon Ipanema and Copacabana
Not only are some MCD athletes at risk of getting violently ill in water competitions, but the AP's tests indicate that tourists also face potentially serious health risks on the golden beaches of Ipanema and Copacabana
minding your pissing quiz
giving away argentstreamer dot com, the online streaming site for old people who just won't fucking die decades after they retired
licking your s's n s's
minding your p's and q's
the death of Brooke Greenberg
trying to unfriend a Regret Index user
sacrificing goats on a golf course in New Jersey,
putting goats on a golf course in New Jersey,
my eyes never saw a rocket that was quite that size
baking her loaf one until she had a breadgasm
baking her left one until she had a breadgasm
Mercedes Pulled a Self Driving Car Ad Because It's Not Actually a Self Driving Car
trying to bottom for a Regret Index user
trying to beef rend a Regret Index user
trying to incriminate a Regret Index user in the Philippines
trying to inseminate a Regret Index amusement
trying to befriend a Regret Index abuser
playing Slaps and Showers with Jerry Sandusky
playing Prisons and Showers with Otm Shank
Playing Cornholes and Monsters with Willie Mays
Enorches
playing Skullbuggery with David Calderisi, eh
playing Mazes and Monsters with Tom Hanks
The American Association of Suicidology, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Health and Welfare Canada all concluded that there is no causal link between fantasy gaming and suicide
Eight year old boy questioned after teachers mistake t shirt slogan for RA propaganda
I don't like losers, I like people who maintain their feeble grasp on the illusion of sanity even after witnessing the eldritch horror of ineffable beings from beyond the cosmos
I've made a lot of sacrifices, you wouldn't believe the elder things I've made pacts with
Eight year old boy questioned after teachers mistake t shirt slogan for Isis propaganda
I guess they were constantly asked if they have soul food after the menus were already designed
#BlackSoulsMatter
Khizr Khan Colon Trump has a 'black soul'
wanting to remake Face Slash Off with Matt Damon and Ken Jeong
Robespierre Boinki Bartokomous
Abdullah The Butcher House of Ribs and Chinese Food
trying to read about Perfect Strangers but just being bored as shit with it the moment you get into episode descriptions
trying to read about Stranger Things but just being bored as shit with it the moment you get into episode descriptions
wondering whether the kids who are, say, thirty or forty years old now will eventually grow the fuck up
lO Things I Hate About Spies
when your snapes don't match your dumbledore
wondering whether the kids who are, say, three or four years old now will eventually be in the hall
when your rapes don't match your trap dec
when your drapes don't match your carpet
when your earnings don't match your yearnings
feeling
dreaming
wishing
having matching arses on your clothing
being a total spaz
when they meet at La Feria, they embrace, but also punch one another slowly and repeatedly in the belly
trying to rear window a Regret Index user
trying to rear end a Regret Index user
trying to upend a Regret Index user
bottoming for Ream Twockit in Poke 'Em 'n Go
The suspects have been identified as an effeminate man with purple hair and a woman with a tiny skirt and exposed midriff, each with Rs on their clothing and accompanied by a talking cat
Three teenagers playing the hit game Pokemon GO have been robbed at gunpoint in a north London park and forced to hand over their mobile phones, British police said on Saturday
Bikini clad Swedish chef makes meal while sunbathing
Bikini clad Swedish cop makes arrest while sunbathing
stealing that innocent girl's Mars Bar from the remote cottage
a group of dissolute rock stars lured an innocent girl to a remote cottage where, having plied her with drugs, they had their way with her, including various sex acts involving a Mars Bar
I want to fuck you like a Milky Way
I wanna fuck a dragonfly
Grab, shake, bite, gouge, puncture, split, punch colon It's enough to put anyone off sex
it's gotta be dogs simply because they are a fuckable animal that are readily available to pretty much anyone, though I believe it may have been horses at some point in history
wondering what nonhuman animal humans most frequently have sex with
pitching an A Team robot featuring Usain Bolt as Hannibal, Liam Hemsworth as Face, Terry Gene Bollea as Mr T, and an ancient filter feeding lobster as "Howling Mad" Murdoch all getting hand jobs
anomalocaridid trunk limb homology revealed by a giant filter feeder with paired flaps colon the movie
pitching an A Team reboot featuring Usain Bolt as Hannibal, Liam Hemsworth as Face, Terry Gene Bollea as Mr T, and an ancient filter feeding lobster as "Howling Mad" Murdoch
athlete Usain Bolt, actor Liam Hemsworth and former wrestler Hulk Hogan
The ancient lobster as tall as Usain Bolt
helping Jack Reacher give a reacharound to a walrus
Ancient Lobster Walk
helping Kento jack in a walrus
Ancient Lobster Shaved, Possibly Kissed by Animal Rights Activists
Ancient Lobster Saved, Possibly Killed by Animal Rights Activists
helping kento jack off a walrus
helping your uncle jack put on a walrus show, with a manatee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season
helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
Infamous Unoriginal Ray's
Polemon, the monsters with very strong views
Pokemon One AND the Other
spoofing Jewel's IP mac address
spooning Jewel's headlights & tailpipe
his interest in the Playboy Mansion is very pure
She appeared in the variety production "Headlights and Tailpipes" in Las Vegas at the Stardust Resort & Casino
thinking VTwo Schneider is better without lyrics
helping your uncle jack put on a donkey show, with a matinee on saturdays and sundays and wednesdays too in the high season
helping your uncle jack off a horse
regrets about high horse blowing
going down on your high horse
cumming on your high horse
Pokemon, Drugging and Sexually Abusing a Horse
Pokemon Drugging and Sexually Abusing a Horse
reading Hoarding Panties in Afghanistan in Afghanistan
drugging and sexually abusing a horse
Dallas cop killer hoarded grenade, pills, panties in Afghanistan
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like streetwise Hercules
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon, they look more like Leo DiCaprio
tag hakbatza
Our heroes don't look like Matt Damon
His whole deal was they can never prove anything about you and me unless you say something
wondering how a Markov chain became a businessman, let alone a political candidate
General George Patton, who was rough as hell, he wouldn't be doing e mails when he's going to be ready to attack
Kento's busty caddy's cleavage like in that one porno I saw
Kento's water hazard
Kento's bunker
naming a part of your body a golf ball could get stuck in
Look at all Hillary Clinton's great balloons!
jefferson slaveship
remembering that scend in Pokemon where Latiah kisses that ass in human form, and thinking that's probably Kento's best bet
that time the Ghostbusters gave the statue of Liberty an enema
It is impossible to expel evil from the world in its entirety, but it is possible to constrict it within each person
wishing that all the US presidential candidates from every party, along with all of their respective campaign staff and most ardent supporters, would gather inside a large building which would be set ablaze, causing everyone inside to burn to death
Charles Martinet looking like a sandblasted Boris Johnson
pitching an original sitcom in which Charles Martinet and Scott Baio play a prominently married couple who make a living playing traditional Mexican music, Mariochachi Band
wondering when it was that you subscribed to the jailbait girl who dances to Korean pop songs on youtube
in the navy cum and join Harvey Cream
in the navy come and join your fellow man
US Navy to Name Ship After Gay Icon Harvey Milk
She'll say anything, and change nothing
It will be easier than ever to get your dick's burger fix
Dick's drive in
socially grooming an eight year old chimp
It will be easier than ever to get your Dick's burger fix
Stephanie from LazyTown Arrested for Prostitution
drawing a picture of Kento being remorselessly trolled by the kid from Lazytown
In fact, this sign at the church door says everybody is welcome
the kid from Lazytown is a quarter of a century old
being pretty sure that educated populations which have representative democratic models don't also have referenda
Wherever we see an educated population that has a relatively free press, relatively high levels of governmental transparency, and that has put it up for a referendum, in every one of those cases we have seen the Olympics be rejected
wondering if you've ever, ever felt like this
Eiffel Towering Chachi
pegging Chachi
shoenice
shitting on it
sitting on it
Donnie Loves Chachi
loving Chachi
history is written by the survivors, not the victors
Dungeon Boss Luncheon with Donald Trump
NPC Luncheon with Donald Trump
during the campaign, you know he told a lot of lies to the British people, and now it is him who has his back against the wall
I want my baby dick baby dick baby dick Trump
claiming that the site purposefully made Trump's AMA less visible to users of the site and allowed the now infamous "baby dick" Trump drawing to become one of the most popular posts on the site during the AMA
two legit two leak
If you are a legitimate leaker, why go with WikiLeaks
Jewchel
the death of Jerry Doyle
Bonedge
Yamal anthrax outbreak may come from melting tundra
Walro
Kentopher Lykeda
Gonto
Tuvix
drawing a picture of Donald Trump being savaged from every direction at a party Wednesday night
OJ Simpson's Minimum Fitness For Men
Democrats Savage Donald Trump From Every Direction Wednesday Night
Permanently Infusing Paintings with Electrical Harming Energy
Permanently Infusing Paintings with Reiki Healing Energy
MARK NUTT
His director of communications is also the Belize trade representative in London
I've heard rumours that it started off as a drug raid and I believe that the chap in there has got a gun and he was saying, 'I'm a free man of the land'
that when the Sultan of Brunei offered you a job you told him you didn't need his piti dollars
not that bells and indigestion are the same
Marina's breasts, who have been reported to be called Larry, Curly, and Moe
Marina's mother, who has been reported to be called Lwaxana
Marina's father, who has been reported to be called James
growing your own tomatillos being such a thankless chore
Areolas
Marina's mother, who has been reported to be called Cheryl
Ariels
the death of Marina Joyce
Ursulas
Gunthers
World's deepest blue hole found in South China Sea
Taco Bell replacing the delicious salsa verde packets with "Diablo" sauce which is basically indistinguishable from the existing Fire sauce
Gushers
MelaniaRump dot com now redirects to a porn page for husband Donald Trump's golf resorts and rental properties
MelaniaTrump dot com now redirects to a home page for husband Donald Trump's golf resorts and rental properties
Bat Arrested After Throwing Manarang at Police Car
Man Arrested After Throwing Batarang at Police Car
wondering why ketchup and mustard don't come in your mouth
wondering why ketchup and mustard don't come premixed
having a tent in the middle of your bedclothes
having a tent in the middle of your workshop
Praising dictators was an automatic F in my class
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to fuck them like an animal, maybe an ocelot or capybarya
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to disinter their corspe and violate the eyholes of their skull
shooting Adam Ant in your panties last night
disinterring Bob Ross's corspe and shitting in the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated happy little trees
tweeting to a singer that you want to take a shit in her scanties
tweeting to a podcaster that you want to take a shit in their panties
tweeting to a podcaster that you want to take a shit in their pansies
becoming Biggs Darklighter
turning off the light of the lit room you came from into the unlit room you're standing in by flicking the switch on the opposite side of the wall from the lightswitch for the room you're in and becoming confused as to why dark happen now
tweeting to a celebrity that you want to take a shit in their skull
living your life like a candle in the wind
quivering like a candle on fire
Pound The Rod Johnson Pounds About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson Pounds About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
so this is how liberty dies, really shitting the bed
the tale of Darth Trump
I will make our Military so big, powerful and strong that no one will mess with us, except Vietnam and Iraq, and I guess Afghanistan and Cuba and maybe Haiti, I'm not really sure about that one
Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Dwayne 'The Cod' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Rock Per Year
groping icons' quads
Dwayne 'The Rape' Johnson Rocks About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Rapes About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
now THIS is codraping!
raping Qui Gon's cods
racing Qui Gon's pods
not hooking up with Qui Gon
thinking that if Anakin ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just droids, Qui Gon would hand over our YIPPEE! addresses in a heartbeat
finding the idea of a Pro Donald Trump intriguing but ultimately unbelievable
Owner Behind Pro Donald Trump 'USA Freedom Dogs' Plans to Sue Campaign
Dad Behind Pro Donald Trump 'USA Freedom Kids' Plans to Sue Campaign
you could fist yourself with them and it would be like someone else was fisting you
it's hard to fist
wondering what someone would do if they had both of their hands removed
The Fist American With a Double Hand Implant Wants Them Removed
smashing off a duck's back
smashing mouth too close to the sun
he who smashes hardest smashes last
roving ghoul
rolling Steve Harwell before smashing breadrolls into his mouth
rough loving
kind of loving Gene Fuckmen, that magnificent bastard
Richard Donger just obsessed over whether he was cut
Gene Fuckmen said that he'd never worked with a more focused performer
he smashed too hard
that must have been before his accident
bottoming for Christopher Ream in Smashing Man Colon The Quest for a Piece of Ass VII
Superman IV Colon The Quest For Peace Colon Redux
#TKFourTwenty
Biggs Danklighter
Hans Yolo
The First American With a Double Hand Transplant Wants Them Removed
Ric's Canada Puck, eh
Dick Saucepan Char
Arachnid Cupcakes
Aparecida Schunck
it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him
Podcaster gets Eiffel Towered in Las Vegas by Pokemon KENTO player he tried to Eiffel Tower
Gunman gets shot in Las Vegas by Pokemon GO player he tried to rob
Miss Miller not letting that guy go
they aren't booing, they're saying "fist ernie"
you're so old fashioned
I'll start doing my penis braiding exercises to get warmed up
on the plus side, we'd probably meet
thinking that if Kento ever snaps and does something terrible to other people instead of just himself, Ryan would hand over our IP addresses in a heartbeat
I want to get rid of the disabled from this world
spooging Jude's boobs
they aren't booing, they're saying "Boo ernie!"
drawing a picture of Ash, Brock, Misty and Prince Harry singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"
Sky Penis and the Pokemon of Tomorrow
wondering what irreparable damage all of these poachers will have on the Pokemon ecosystem spooging Jewel's boobs
wondering what irreparable damage all of these poachers will have on the Pokemon ecosystem
spooging Jewel's boobs
I downloaded it and immediately realised there is money to be made
wondering which you would choose, cupping David Cameron Diaz' ball or spooning David Cameron Diaz' boob
that there exist nine conditions which should be followed by humans who seek to experience coincidence in their own lives
I don't know why that's so funny
Rachel Penis
obviously I'm not going to want to look at Jude Law in any kind of scenario, so the answer is "from behind"
wondering which you would choose, to bang Rachel Stevens with Jude Law's penis or Jude Law with Rachel Stevens's vagina
wondering which you would choose, to bang Rachel Stevens with a penis or Jude Law with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to eat a straight woman with your penis or a gay man with your vagina
wondering which you would choose, to eat a straight woman with a penis or a gay man with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to be a straight woman with a penis or a gay man with a vagina
wondering which you would choose, to be a lesbian with a penis or a straight man with a vagina
a serving military officer who called a fellow officer by a racist epithet routinely and without contrition spoke of his need to impress upon other people that he is better than little people and his feelings are far more important than theirs
a man who once dressed up as a Nazi because Nazis are apparently funny spoke of his regret about how the presence of his father did not impress upon him that dressing up like a Nazi is almost certainly always a bad idea
a man who wants for nothing but attention has spoken of his need for attention and how it doesn't fill the void left by a traumatic but ultimately inevitable event suffered by literally everybody at some point in their lives
Prince Harry has spoken of his regret that he did not talk about how his favourite childhood game, Pocket Monsters Colon Blue, affected him until three years ago
Prince Harry has spoken of his regret that he did not talk about how the death of his mother, Princess Diana, affected him until three years ago
Fist Captain and the Emergency Room of Tomorrow
uninstalling the installshield engine
Pie Captain and the Fatworld of Tomorrow
Robin Williams is Ms Downdraft
watching Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit
Sky Captain Meets World
Why Downdraft Took Ms Cool Rape Train
Sky Captain and the World of Leather
Pokemon Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
boldly reaching where no man has reached before
hoping it's not "fist or be fisted by a Star Trek cast member"
Go's busters
drinking from the Gaywood River
taman shud, crikey
tribalist symbol for establishment climbers
everything is a clusterfuck
Clinton campaign manager Colon Russians leaked Democrats' emails to help Donald Trump
you can a check out anytime a you like, but can a never leave
such a lovely a place
closing the doors of the Hotel Mario a
The purpose of closing the doors to progress is not explained
grundiert fur Jude Skeeter in Das Gesetz ist ein Esel Sieben
memorizing every STD episode
Hilbert's infinite rape hotel
neutral rape hotel
Kareem Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi Jabbar
Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a LAW rape pair in Alabama with his pal Jude
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a chaos rape pair in Alabama with his pal Skeeter
In an attempt to reintegrate into society, he opens a car repair shop in Alabama with his pal Skeeter
Fifty Shades of Takei
oh my
Star Trek Colon Discovery
abusing a poop fart ass
tricking a pop tart into using another pop tart as a
using a poop fart ass
us
using
using a
using a pop
using a pop tart
using a pop tart as
using a pop tart as a
goodnight room, goodnight moon, goodnight personal enemy of Mr Hamill I lured to your doom
Lick Jobs From Another Room
love to, send me ur room #
yo dawg we put two envelopes in your envelope you so can lick while you lick
two envelopes inside another envelope
from CERN's heart, I accelerate particles at thee
no one who speaks German could be an evil man
"Donald Trump is going to build that fucking wall and kick all of you mother fuckers out of here," said Parker, who was born in Germany
Dark matter is to scientists what Moby Dick is to Captain Ahab
Donald Trump is going to build that fucking wall and kick all of you mother fuckers out of here
Humans And Wild Birds Strike A Deal To Hunt For Honey And Wax, Denounce Israel
After being ordered to drop the weapon, King tossed the gun on the trunk of a nearby car, "whereupon he again kicked the victim in the face"
Humans And Wild Birds Strike A Deal To Hunt For Honey And Wax
A video purporting to show a UFO over Turkey actually shows a rocket launch in Florida
no one who speaks German could be an evil man
The man who appears to be a shooter said insulting things about Turks, did not espouse jihadist ideology and spoke with a German accent
becoming a Playboy Northern Baptist, eh
becoming a Playboy Southern Baptist
at night, the people cum in Go
at night, the people Kento and Go
Peeps are marshmallow candies, sold in the United States and Canada, that are shaped into chicks, bunnies, and Southern Baptists
at night, the people come and go
My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist
we're looking for nothing, missing every sunrise
I wish I could be a child, write me another dance, another chance, another romance
you fly me
I could wrap you up in cotton wool
where do you get off having tits
High Heel Jurassic
all balls itch, it's a fact
The Simpsons Colon Just Pop It Back In
Is Donald Trump a Messiah
The Simpsons Colon Tapped Out
swollen rape snow
new personal lows
staying up all night comparing yourself directly to god
I guess the age old question about whether god could create a boulder so heavy that he could not then move it has been answered with 'yes, if god is anything like me'
dooks
I guess the age old question about whether god could create a boulder so heavy that he could not then move it has
trying to imagine how awful a film project would have to be to feature a bedroom scene with yourself and Louise Redknapp in which you were both naked under the covers for the sake of the script
last night I dreamt that I was naked in bed with Louise Redknapp and when I touched her she freaked out because it was a terrible misunderstanding, and then her husband was like right there, so I don't know, maybe you can tell me
is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and deep love
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and mad love
only Jude Law would lend his name to a project in which the premise is that seeing your intended's naked body being ejected from her mother's vagina constitutes some kind of pure and true love
I had literally never heard of that movie before but I just knew somehow that Jude Law was in it
Music From Another Room is a romantic comedy that follows the exploits of Danny, a young man who grew up believing he was destined to marry the girl he helped deliver as a five year old boy when his mother's best friend went into emergency labor
I want to lay like this forever until the sky falls down on me
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to stand with you on a mountain
wondering how long it will be until there's meetgraham porn
fifteen there's still time for you
whistle is Latin for fat gay asian
miles is Latin for soldier
Fat Gay Asian Spice
you can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
accidentally buying really big anal bees
trekking back
trekking within
trekking beyond
the Roofie State
the Sunshine Rape State
I only came for two days of rapin, but everytime I cum I always wind up stayin, this the type of town I could spend a few days in, Miami the city that keeps the roof blazin
Miami dolphins anally rape the physicist
Miami Dolphins deny lockerroom at Sun Life Stadium is known to players as 'The Rape Cave'
Miami dolphins rape the physical analyst
Miami Dolphins shoot the physical rapist
Miami Dolphins shoot physical therapist
Miami police shoot black analyst
nobody gets the girl, there is no girl
a re imagined Cyrano de Bergerac with an educationally subnormal presidential candidate being fed interview replies by a self medicating depressive alcoholic through an earpiece
Cyber is absolutely a thing of the future and the present
using Midge Ure's singing as a midge lure
dyslexia jokes
Miami police shoot black therapist
Pride and Prejudice and Jumblies
yo momma is so fat her gut bacteria predates appearance of humans, genetic study finds
I don't think you're ready for this humble, my humble brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like "it's humbler than yours"
I am, like, the humblest guy in the world, nobody comes close to how humble I am
Fritz Learns To Catch Cumpilation
Fritz Learns To Catch Compilation
meetgraham dot com dot au
I think I'm much more humble than you would understand
Maybe you would have had a unified Korea
sta 'nfronte a te!
o long johnson
soiling your undergarments and kindly gifting them to an eccentricity scene
knowing enough of the history of various competing lines of kings within your own country and its constituent parts to say with certainty that shitting your pants and leaving them behind at a crime scene is merely an eccentricity for those of noble birth
Wesley Crusher, Cunt Destroyer
wondering, if that is indeed the case, what his noble ancestors would feel to now their descendant shat his pants then left them behind at a crime scene
not knowing the history of the surname King well enough to discern whether or not it shows descent from an actual King from some day of yore
Wesley President, Federation President
Wesley President
taking PCP and your dick falling off
playing deoxyribonucleic acid with Wesley King
stealing that guy's unwashed underpants from the communal crime scene
DNA evidence taken from the pants' waistband indicated Mr King had worn them before, but the forensic scientist admitted another set of DNA found on the pants made it possible someone else could have worn the unwashed pants more recently
I found the cafe ransacked, the till missing, and diarrhoea smeared across papers on the floor, next to a pair of heavily stained underpants with Wesley King's name sewn into the waistband
butt suicide is painless
Inuit throat singing sisters from Canada, eh
Gwyneth Paltrow's screaming vagina
Gwyneth Paltrow's steaming vagina
my heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not
Chris had a strong fist and fisted Kento beautifully
Chris had a strong hand and fingered Kento beautifully
Chris had a strong hand and handled Macaulay beautifully
Joe and I knew each other already because we'd both been in "I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can," which we were both cut out of
You'll notice Joe even invented his own cartoon language that he spews when he gets really frustrated
chemo porn is the last bastion of small business
Google Translate not working on chemo porn, eh
Google Translate not working on Chrome phone
Crown Prince Emperor El Bey Bigbay Bagby Badger
nil PESCI enema
nil stern enema
internal semen
Lydon beat him with a walrus's pizzle
Mr Ikeda responded "I don't fucking care"
a spokesperson for Nintendo later pointed out that Walrein is not one of the Pokemon featured in Pokemon Go
local Pokemon Go player Kento Ikeda told WCVB he had found a Walrein in his own bathroom after planting a Pokemon lure and "could not be happier"
Physical features of the Walrooth include an pinnipedoid blubber layer and tusks, and the ability to survive by drinking their own internal semen
Ass Cancer is No Laughing Matter
Acton beat him with a bull's pizzle
No One Will Talk About Anal Cancer
Physical features of the Malmooth include an insectoid exoskeleton and mandibles, and the ability to survive by drinking their own internal milk
The unfit died of freedom
drawing a picture of Chris Pine spooning Rich Penis
wondering if Chris Pine knows his name is an anagram of Rich Penis
tricking a straight guy into spooning another straight guy's boobs
ricking a straight guy into rolling another straight guy
tricking a straight guy into banging Jewel
your father giving your nose a tweak and telling you you was bad when you wake up, in my makeup
your father giving your nose a tweak and telling you you was bad
when I wake up, in my makeup
I'd still put it above some Trump quotes
that might be the worst regret I've ever written
The Adventures of Rape Baby Dries Up
Pilkey authored the Dumb Bunnies books under the pseudonym Sue Denim
The Adventures of Ook and Gluk Colon Kung Fu Cavemen from the Future
The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby
Dav Pilkey, author of the children's book series Captain Underpants, had wanted Farley to play the title role in a potential television series based on the books, but discarded the idea after Farley's death
that Chris Farley died before having a chance to do a Chris Christie impression
that, with all due respect to the New Jersey governor, there are few people I would less like to have take a shit on me
not understanding why comments seem to occasionally bump regrets to the top of the recent comments list
really wanting to hear Miss Piggy say "Mike Pence" as part of a skit more and more with each passing day
Ukip Councillor Terence Nathan Calls For Remainers To Be Kissed
drawing a picture of Mike Pence peeing on Donald Trump's scalp while Chris Christie takes a dump on his chest
Ukip Councillor Terence Nathan Calls For Remainers To Be Killed
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Rape Hot FULLY FUNCTIONAL Machines'
when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dugs up your butt, poodoo
that even in a galaxy of trillions of humans, Jango Fett was basically taking a huge risk that he might one day end up becoming an urban legend with one of his own grandchildren
you keep saying that but it never seems to happen
when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt
one of the twentieth century's most enduring anthems
Homer Sexual
Watch Kim Kardashian take the stage to 'I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt'
Angel Zapper
Watch Freddie Mercury take the stage to 'I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt'
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Rape Hot Machines'
Watch Donald Trump take the stage to 'We Are The Champions'
That's what I get for playing this dumbass game
the google image search for "Chris Lydon" being a hilarious mix of scrawny, old bearded men and busty busty female bodybuilders
The pledge to hold a referendum helped win you an unexpected majority, eh
Garry Marshall's dug Sebulba Marshall has died
Garry Marshall's dog Carrie Marshall has died
Jaglom Shrek
Britain's new Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, said he's made so many controversial comments about world leaders that it is not worth the time it would take to apologize for all of them
When a woman gives a man a blowjob, and just before climax, she walks away
your red dress is very pretty
still only seeing black, white, and blue
that seeing color on a site that had previously just been black, white, and blue is weird, like in Schindler's List
wondering whether Rick Astley was a reprogrammed Terminator, and who he was protecting
he will never, ever give up, and most importantly, he will never, ever let you down
that if you're not already selling a range of "orange is the new blackface" tshirts you really should be, because after nuclear war breaks out next year people won't really want to send away for possibly irradiated clothing when they could just scavenge
Exclusive Colon Trump could seek new law to purge government of Obama gym leaders
playing Pokemon Go over the Republican National Convention coverage
Exclusive Colon Trump could seek new law to purge government of Obama appointees
the person you support said, he could take a gun out on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone in the head, and you would still support him
any smooth bottom intersted into top muscle pm me
Thailand model 'is possessed by cannibal GHOST during live TV interview'
playing Entry of the Gladiators with Tim Duncan, if you know what I mean
playing Entry of the Gladiators with Tim Duncan
playing Entry of the Gladiators over the Republican National Convention coverage
A young woman, wearing a dress covered in stars and stripes, kneels surrounded by five Donald Trumps
Internet Abuzz Over Photo of Mike Pence's 'Rapist' Daughter
using the screen name "straight guy plus straight guy equals hot"
Internet Abuzz Over Photo of Mike Pence's 'Vampire' Daughter
asking about which "subgroup" had contributed more to advancements in civilization than white people
Asked what he would call it, he answered, "The Aristocrats"
Asked what he would call it, he answered, "The Sociopath"
the permanent sound of civilization, and its noisier discontents
tell me your skype
prove it
I have the best weiner rod right now
He also made himself a bamboo whip for sex from a tree in his parents' garden, Southwark Crown Court heard today
McCarthy allegedly raped a second woman three years later after while telling her 'it's not about you'
Luke McCarthy, XXVIII, is said to have made a woman drink his blood before sinking his teeth into her thigh
I have the weirdest boner right now
Nute Gunray demands Queen Elizabeth's signature to make invasion legal
David Davis has secretly discovered new planets we can trade with
Unless David Davis has secretly discovered new planets we can trade with, there's no way his figure could actually be reached
it's not clear
wondering if a vampire rapist is a vampire who rapes or someone who rapes vampires
Vampire rapist made a bamboo whip for sex from a tree in his parents' garden
parsing the equals sign as a colon and becoming confused
Steinhegvanhuysenolegbangbangbang
Cosmo Setepenra
never understanding the appeal of Veiled Sin
while the weight of a young adolescent female bonobo "is maybe half" that of a human teenager, she has a clitoris that is "three times bigger than the human equivalent, and visible enough to waggle unmistakably as she walks"
mirror in the bathroom, recompense for all my crimes of self defence
maybe if we just give them Bono's head they'll leave the rest of us alone
maybe if we just give them Bono they'll leave the rest of us alone
This is the second time Bono has been caught up in a terror attack in France
terrorism knows no depths to its depravity
Diners tell of being stuck in Nice restaurant with Bono during Bastille Day attack
Butts County library programs use butts as touching tools
Gordon Respess of Dauset Trails Nature Center, left, holds a rat snake that Nakisha Woolery gingerly touches as Summer Reading Club members look on
Butts County library programs use animals as teaching tools
Two teenagers out playing Pokemon Go early Saturday morning were shot at by a man who allegedly thought the teens posed a threat, said the Flagler County Sheriff's Office
Danny Glover, I hardly know 'er!
singing Dream Lover while daring Danny Glover to deglove beagles for their fur because your dad says you ain't right and you don't want to deglove alone
never understanding the appeal of Vin Diesel
NEURALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX COLON STATE OF THE UNION Games Built In
tattoos about pony blowing
this freakin horse
this freakin dog
seeing Sonic the Hedgehog running on an original Sega Mega Drive displaying through a period accurate tv and wanting to vomit despite having no problems with it when it released or any history of motion sickness
NEURALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX Games Built In
NOSTALGIA ALERT Colon Nintendo To Release Mini NES With XXX Games Built In
tricking a freakin guy into dating another freakin guy
cecil Thornburg
making hay while the sun shines
this freakin guy
dogging is out of control in Hungry Horse
A woman on Alpine Court complained that the neighbor's dogs use her yard as a glory hole toilet
A dog known locally for its bad dog deeds was loose on Western Lane
A bat that looked to be approximately four inches long was doing weird things on the back deck of a home on Witty Lane in Columbia Falls
A self professed ex convict reported that the teenaged girl he smacked yesterday came back and busted out his windshield
A woman on Alpine Court complained that the neighbor's dogs use her yard as a glorified toilet
The Matrix Fully Loaded Poutine
fully loaded poutine, nature's most filmed creature
outrageous, simply outrageous
fully loaded poutine
nature's most filmed creature
meat rape lad lab
Raped a Meatball
Meatball Parade
It's World Emoji Day! Teen girls, code an emoji that's unique like you
nobody loves oily Homer
hearing that Jewel goes dogging in the parking lot of the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, Sundays around eight
maintaining your auteur status because you want to dog in the Oscars
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not goddamn deliberately pony blowing
wookie cookies
A Cookie Palace organizer stated "many women at the event weighed eight hundred pounds"
Star Trek Pussy Of Gods and Men
organizing a cookie palace
My Little Pussy Colon Friendship is Magic
all pussies are magic, but some pussies are more magic than others
organizing a pussy party
organizing a pussy proletariat
organizing a pussy riot
organizing a pussy palace, if you know what I mean
organizing a pussy palace
Star Trek Colon Of Gods and Men
A Pussy Palace organizer stated "many women at the event were deeply angered and traumatized"
I'm fairly certain there is a PIKACHU at this open house, don't miss it
damn, I've been maintaining my amateur status because I want to dog in the Olympics
you've got to be at least a semi pro dogger
wondering if the Nickelodeon Sports Dogging slime awards are given based on some requisite criteria, or if they just give them to anyone who gets the requisite seventeen votes
Athletes and celebrities get chosen for the Nickelodeon Sports Dogging slime awards
eggs niewoehner
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not a dumbass manchild
An Indian man who took one of the world's most expensive shits made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said
he's got all the money in the world but there's one thing he can't buy
begged incest
eggs benedict
Janine, sorry about the Kento jokes, I'll be in my office
me mom's in a Goma
you mom's a Kento joke
you're a Kento joke
that's a Kento joke
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been on a gilt trip
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said, kemosabe
I pity the fool
wondering what percentage of people named Richard under the age of, say, forty go buy dick
An Indian man who bought one of the world's most expensive shirts made entirely of gold has been allegedly battered to death, police said
wondering what percentage of people named Richard under the age of, say, forty go by "Dick"
Anakin Skywalker's Faustian story is, in a way, Lucas's own
It is widely believed that Paulie used the robot as some sort of electronic sex doll
Athletes and celebrities get dogged for the Nickelodeon Slime's Choice Sports awards
Athletes and celebrities get slimed for the Nickelodeon Dogs' Choice Sports awards
Pitbull says bark bark woof grrrrr ruff
Athletes and celebrities get slimed for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports awards
Pitbull says he is not supporting Trump
being an independent country that don't need The Man
Turkish Intelligence says #Turkey Coop is over and Turkey has been retaken
insulting Turkish Intelligence
Turkish Intelligence says #Turkey Coup is over and Turkey has been retaken
Trump Pence Middleton Geldof
Null Island
Myke Pynce
Mike Pence sounding like something Miss Piggy would say for a laugh
I prefer them over easy
South Korean Villagers Pelt Premier With Eggs Over Missile Site
When you turn the Trump Pence logo upside down, it literally looks like a handjob
needing TP for America's bunghole
The Asylum Presents Shitweasels
Scifresh
BLOODS pink ladies
cripps pink ladies
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice Meaty Waffle Peppers
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice, if you know what I mean
noticing your nice niece on her knees in Nice
Meaty Waffle Peppers
the death of Ray Combs
Beaver is killed by a shit weasel
Mbey Brian Waffles
Meaty Brian Waffles
Oscar analrapist cat
starchy rape taco
Oscar therapy cat
a return to lights to the walls, keep the balls on horror
a traveling group of psychic vampires called The Kento Rut
a traveling group of psychic vampires called The True Knot
Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer Colon A Time Travel Romance
Books about Cruz being the Zodiac Killer, including romantic ones, were listed on Amazon
it's not fair to make an animal that can't purse its lips try to whistle
A Police Force in Britain Has Just Made Wolf Whistling a Hate Crime
tricking a straight guy into banging Sylvia Browne
wondering whether the kids who are, say, meeting Brian Peppers now will eventually blow a pony or if they will bang Jewel
regrets about drug mule blowing
I'm really sorry about that one
banging all the three or four year olds in the bathroom at church in order
killing the California dumbass manchildren
banging all the elements of the periodic table in Jewel
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not into dating another straight guy
learning all the elements in the origin of the champagne out of the deliberately disabled bathroom at church
banging the champagne out of Jewel's shoes
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not three or four years old
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in a relationship for eternit
I would want to bang Jewel if I were not in the actress
Rihanna asked to leave after pulling truck out of her nice vagina
Rihanna asked to leave Nice after pulling truck out of her vagina
Rihanna Is ''Safe,'' Concert Cancelled Following Truck Attack in Nice
Blotto games
Vice President Housekeeping
he probably did, they wanted him to pay US tax as a condition of retaining his citizenship
assuming Hogan turns down the offer, of course
finding lots of articles about Boris Johnson "intending" to give up his US citizenship but not finding any confirmation that he actually did, and thinking that if he didn't he could form a great ticket with Trump
eating all the elements in the periodic table in order
French Officials Colon Fire at Eiffel Tower 'Accidental'
Chuckle Brothers Play Real Life Hitman
in light of the horrible attack in Nice, France, I have postponed tomorrow's news conference concerning my vice presidential announcement while I think of something worse than losers to call the French
reading the comments on three eight one five as though they were an actual conversation
we're pretty terrible people
especially because of the things we write
honestly being both surprised and grateful that Ryan takes the time to maintain a site that gets an average of like two point one unique visitors per day
yeah, he did
being pretty sure that Ryan deleted all those fake spam links you made for a joke about Hayden Christensen, but being too lazy to check
#portesouvertesnice
Hahahahahahaha, this politics related YouTube video is actually so comic, I liked it
buying multiple copies of the book "Romeo and Slash or Juliet" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North
that i deleted all the spam comments, hah hah hah OH WELL
hello, I'm here, I'm living in the wall
HOLEZONE
Driver collides with tree while playing Pokemon Go
Mr Trump advised men to do more chores around the house because psychological research showed they would get more sex from their wives
She's got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital
wondering what your favourite meme is
dat boi
du FUCK
du
le massacre de Swan Marsh
the Marais des Cygnes massacre
I had completely forgotten about Boston & Shaun, thanks for reminding me of that unearthly horror
tweeting the theme from M#A#S#H# like six hours ago
His nickname comes from an incident in which he was caught having sex with a dragon in the lavatory aboard a Boston & Shaun Railway train who claimed in her defense that "he inflated me!"
Raper John, MD
His nickname comes from an incident in which he was caught having sex with a woman in the lavatory aboard a Boston & Maine Railway train who claimed in her defense that "he trapped me!"
regrets about pony miscegenation
Peppa Meets Oasis
Peppa Meets KISS
Peppa Meets Queen
now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'm going to Eiffel Tower Kento with a walrus in Bel Air
all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others
Peppa Meats the Queen
it's the whole Goofy Pluto nightmare all over again
that the characters in Peppa Pig have pets
Peppa Meets the Queen
pig willy style
that on further research, one of the bulldog characters has an adopted bear sister from China, so I guess multispecies families are okay if it is by adoption
wondering whether Peppa Pig's feelings of ponosexuality stem from having seen a pig willy and being totally disgusted
arthur backstreet boys
guessing that Peppa Pig just has Pedro Pony put it in her butt to avoid getting pregnant with some kind of equuporcine abomination
Arthur Art Garfunkel
Hoprah Linseed
The hospital's Medical Director, Dr Malone Lee pointed out that she had been seen, but that she had "a particular reservation about some of the nurses" and refused to let them attend to her
googling "Matt Damon Arthur"
Peppa Pig appears to be pretty segregated on racial lines
it seriously bugged me as a kid that all of Arthur's family were aardvarks but he wanted to fuck a monkey
wondering how these worlds that contain large numbers of anthropomorphic animals of various species work, like is it legal for a pig to marry a pony in the world of Peppa Pig, and if so, do they produce some kind of godless hybrid offspring
It is up to you to keep your lime our of my coconut
It is up to you to keep your peppas out of my pig
It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig
Category colon Body parts of individual people
we should put ours on there
It's a surprisingly short list
Category colon Individual human heads, skulls and brains
holding the lime
art for art's sake
Category colon Ash dick infection
Category colon Ash click infection
Pokemon The Cock and the Jewel
The Cock and the Jewel
Category colon Fictional chickens
having an actor in a hideous, terrifying mask jam his fingers down your throat can't be any worse than having sex with Harrison Ford
Malaysian Malaysia
Calista Flockhart is reported to be interested
pitching a "Purger Queen" ad to Burger King in which she invites the Burger King to stick his fingers down her throat to induce vomiting, because it can't be any worse than their existing campaigns
eating Jewel's burger
pitching a "Burger Queen" ad to Burger King in which she invites the Burger King to eat her burger, because it can't be any worse than their existing campaigns
what did I literally just ask for you to remember
following up an evening of large hardon colliding with large anus busting
I don't want this, remember that
I think I'm starting to lose what grip I had, think I'm starting to slide
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and "stop complaining about the food"
giving a foot job to Stephen President on request
giving a blow job to Stephen Fry on request
giving a hand job to Stephen King on request
Tuscan raiders
Amazonian Jews
large anus busting makes me feel good
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and enjoy the BK's large anus busters
The Steakhouse Burger Colon The Burger For Selfish, Insane Assholes
The commercials often featured people in a rush to get to Burger King and purchase a Steakhouse Burger, risking the safety of other people and property around them in the process
the character is a smarmy self help "doctor" with gleaming white teeth and a starched toupee who encourages eaters to "sit down" and enjoy the BK's large Angus burgers
Burger President
and that's like once every other month at most
that the only American fast food restaurant you go to now is Burger King
that kickass waffle place on the A XI
For Kica
your authority is not recognised in For
that kica
actually realizing earlier that you've probably thought of Arby's and Denny's as the same place for a long, long time, despite knowing they're two different chains, just because you don't see them wherever you go
not understanding the gradation of class in the US casual dining and fast food sectors
giving a hand job to the Smoothie King on request
Smoothie King deposed and executed, Smoothie Republic declared
kidecoin
dogecoin
Arby's is classier
getting a THREE man job from his holiness in the dumpster behind ARBYS
getting a two man job from his holiness in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
it really is a two man job
Pope John Paul II supports Myke Hawke in the Bathroom at Church
Pope John Paul II supports neo facism in Croatia
Myke Hawke in the Bathroom at Church
Myke Hawke in a Blender
Myke Hawke in a Toilet
Myke Hawke in a Thciket
Thciket T Thrawick
Thciket, Jedi Knight
the Ram in a Thciket, if You Know What I Mean
the Ram in a Thicket
that your knowledge of the Michael Jackson songbook is basically limited to the ones that Weird Al parodied, plus the one from Free Willy
wondering how long it would take Roman Polanski to beat off to a dedicated Inexperienced Girls channel
riding on a chrome horse with your diplomat, if you know what I mean
wondering how long it would take YouTube to shut down a dedicated Inexperienced Girls channel
plus all the child abuse stuff
the thing that still bothers you about Michael Jackson being how memorable even a lot of his worst songs were
inexperienced girl, you know that you came and you changed my world, just like on the YouTubes
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to cook engine black eggs for you
they ruin everything
stupid inexperienced girl
Achicharrados en Izucar
wondering how hard it would be to program a self driving car to seek out and collect Pokemon for you
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother Eiffel Towering Kento is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood and three photographs of Kento
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother Eiffel Towering Kento is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood
An image purportedly showing Elijah Wood and his identical twin brother is actually a composite of two photographs of Elijah Wood
Dinosaurs May Have Cooed Instead of Roared, Scientists Find
The Falling Bullet Colon Myths, Legends and Terminal Velocity
Heslington Brain
He has this manner with interviewers where he seems to think that he is calmly talking sense to a lunatic, when really he is talking to the machinery in an abattoir
nnnnnn
n
! DO NOT USE for training purposes
Training
Inexperienced girl trying to land Athreetwenty
nothing but power converters and sand as far as the eye can see
If you thought Luke Skywalker's home planet, Tatooine, was a strange world with its two suns in the sky, imagine this colon a planet with either constant daylight or triple sunrises and sunsets each day depending on the seasons
Boobknee Spears
boobknees are the big thing on deviantart now
Kneeboobworld
I'm pretty sure that there's only that makes them fat, there's another one that gives them like six arms, another one that makes them bald, another one that puts their boobs on their knees, etc
the Fatworld Continuum
bullseyeing Whoopi Goldberg in your Tsixteen back home
Death Gopdblum, Jedi Knight, Hogwarts Headmaster
learning that the "We ain't found shit!" desert combing stormtrooper from Spaceballs was Tim Russ
being shocked to see a red link on the Fatworld wiki, because you just sort of assumed that FanTwoThousand had some kind of Q like power to will into existence an obese photoshop of any woman who has ever appeared on TV
given how severe winters are in the North she would be expected to weigh around four hundred for the beginning of winter, yet because of what Sansa has been going through she hasn't been preparing for winter as a good Northern woman should
King Kong ain't got nothing on you
Caryn Elaine Johnson
Fatworld Sophie Turner's five o'clock shadow
wondering whether Roman Polanski's Roman a Polanski is a roman a polanski
roman a polanski
wondering whether Karen Gillan's Conventional is a roman a clef
it's the suspenders
I'm gonna have to go with Misty
Ash, Misty, or Brock, nobody rides for free
Mining Pokemon From the Road
bottoming for Depth Goldbum in Your Ass Is Pert VII
Death Goldblum
Death Gopdblum
If you went back in time and told me that in the near future, one of the most nerd accessible directors would make an all female Ghostbusters reboot and it would become this bizarre hill to die on, I would have laughed it off
they DO move in herds!
Walrus Team Sex
topping for Homosama bin Laden in Seal Team Sex
I'll never forget being shot dead in my fortress like home by SEAL team VI
I certainly remember the time I masterminded the largest terrorist attack on the continental United States
we are all Osama
Mining Platinum From the Road
A one year old boy in Milan who was raised on a strict vegan diet has been removed from his parents custody after he was found to weigh as much as a three month old baby
Zuppa Inglese, cheerio, mamma mia!
Castella
Zuppa Inglese
United Empire Loyalists, I'm Walkin' Here, Cheerio, Eh
United Empire Loyalists
wondering how much late nineties fanfiction involved Ross from F#R#I#E#N#D#S# and Roz from Frasier
drawing a picture of John Cho backing up over Anton Yelchin, if you know what I mean
George Takei Presents on the Bridge
George Takei Presents Colon Chaos on the Bridge
William Shatner Presents Colon Chaos on the Bridge
Armed Robbers Used Pokemon Go App to Target Victims, According to Cops
Kento first became aware of Diablo through his interest in large, muscular men who plunge deeper and deeper down dark pits
Kento first became aware of Diablo through his interest in rogueish dugongs
novus scotio seclorum
Nova Scotia
Feline Society takes Alaskan kids being kept for bleach, meow
Canine Society takes South Korean kids being kept for meat
Humane Society takes South Korean dogs being kept for meat
Wyoming teenager finds aroused Walrein in river while playing Pokemon Kento app
not having a jambiya stuck in you
not having a jambiya based on you
#TetasStrong
Wyoming teenager finds dead body in river while playing Pokemon Go app
our tuba god ass rapes slut
Tautogolabrus adspersus
not having a bouillabaisse on you
cloacal devices
cloaking devices
#heresy
not having a NAMBLA forum based on you
solving the NABLA forearms for X
Nabla
Thousands Strip and Paint Themselves Blue for UK Art Event
getting a cease and desist letter from a webcomic
now remember, your name is Donald Thompson
calling something a joke as a racist even though you know it's not actually a joke
bottoming for Pokemon in Pokemon Go and Kento Colon Gotta Catch 'Em All
hashtag heresy
having rail union poop puns
#TejasStrong
Parishioners lit candles and placed notes with messages on a wooden cross outside the church, One read colon "We are one, #DallasStrong, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands, #LoveIsABattlefield"
hey guys, remember Jaylalabalaya, that's racist
Pokemon Go and Kento
hey guys, remember Jaylalabalaya
that's racist
calling something racist as a joke even though you know it's not actually racist
having no clue who Kento eats out
having no clue who Kento eats
having no clue who Kento is
having unpopular opinions
getting a reply from a webcomic
writing a webcomic
vivisecting the Regret Index
#fedoratalk
dying and being transmigrated to the afterlife only to discover that the religion you followed so devoutly was muted pretty much as soon as it sprang up, and while the divine is aware of the existence of your faith, it doesn't actually know much about it
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life #YOLO
visiting the Regret Index
I don't claim to have some secret knowledge regarding the existence or nature of God, but I am completely certain that God, if He exists, automatically ignores any prayers that contain hashtags
Parishioners lit candles and placed notes with messages on a wooden cross outside the church, One read colon "We are one, #DallasStrong"
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Rockin'est Rock Steady Beat of Madness in Star Trek Beyond
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Gay in Star Trek Beyond NO HOMO
George Takei Disappointed Sulu Is Gay in Star Trek Beyond
NO HOMO
NO IRISH EVIL
NO DOGS
not wanting to upset the apple cart and not wanting to cause any harm
NO KIDS
it proudly displays Jeffrey Epstein's seal of approval on the gate
it's totally one of those awful no kids swinger couple resorts where you think twice before wading into the pool to get to the bar
sending Hayden Christensen to Sand Feet Cay
wondering what it would cost to get Hayden Christensen to do a cover of Sandy Cat Fee
wondering what it would cost to get Hayden Christensen to do a cover of Safety Dance
we sent pizza with phone
at least he got a hand job out of it
Police said after several hours of negotiating, with intermittent exchanges of gunfire, the suspect was killed by a bomb wielding robot
Pokemon Cum
Pokemon Come
Pokemon Kento
Pokemon Go
There is nothing to regret, my CV is exactly accurate
My CV as I've presented it are exactly accurate
Wankdong District
Gangbang District
the Walrus in Your Ass
Air Jordan XXX
if I don't survive, tell my wife "hello"
Lizzie van Zyl
bottoming for John Cho in Star Trek Colon Behind
John Cho Colon Sulu is the Rockin'est Rock Steady Beat of Madness in Star Trek Beyond
Mr Flake informed Mr Trump that he was not up for re election this year
Incipient Bissalmuneui
Gangdong District
the Walrus, Dumbass
the Walrus Dumbass
the War in Donbass
I guess I'll have to wait two weeks to find out
wondering who would top and who would bottom if Two Thousand Nine Continuity Sulu and Sulu Prime were to have sex
John Cho Colon Sulu is Eiffel Towered by Chris Pine and a Walrus in Star Trek Beyond
John Cho Colon Sulu Geldof
John Cho Colon Sulu is Asian in Star Trek Beyond
now I am married to a white dude, so we have changed
Anton Yelchin Colon Chekhov is dead in Star Trek Beyond
John Cho Colon Sulu is gay in Star Trek Beyond
something something Roman Polanski, Sith Lord something unlimited power something even the younglings
Lake Poopo, Jedi Knight
Lake Poopo
Eating items or food not meant for human consumption, such as pet food, toxic substances, bodily fluids, refuse, or inedible objects
I think they were implying it was a sheriff's badge because they were talking about corruption and implying she should be arrested
I contend that we are the first race in the world, and that the more of the world we inhabit the better it is for the human race
that scene in Lower Canadian Independence Day where Will Smith punches that alien and says WELCOME TO ERF, EH
the Declaration of Independence of Lower Canada
a vividly horny piece about STONEFISH Rebecchi
busting Jewel's butt
a vividly horny piece about Toadfish Rebecchi
you know you're screwed when even the rabbits won't fuck
trumpchumps
obamarangers
bushrazors
bushrangers
bottoming for Adam Ravage and Jamie Hymen in Buttbusters VII
the Curious Cans of Scarlett Jocansson
bizarrestriatedwormcharming dot co dot uk
wormcharming dot co dot uk
a pair of two cuties
a tale of two cuties
cutie pair
two cuties
Mila Kunis' startling lack of clam opener fist
Mila Kunis' startling lack of clef rapist omen
Mila Kunis' startling lack of self importance
kind of loving the SHH gene, that magnificent bastard
a protein that in humans is encoded by the SHH gene
Mila Kunis Defends Refugees Against Donald Trump Colon "I'm Not Going to Blow This Country Up"
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray incautiously falling for a witch
ogre pair butt bustin' makes me feel good
Sofia Coppola's popular sofa
catching scrofula copulating with Sofia Coppola
Murray is actually Charlotte's husband from the future, who's come back in time because future him realized he neglected her too much
viewing the Bob Harris character from Lost in Translation as the man Bobby Hill grows up to be
Scarlett Johansson, more like Scarlett Herscantsin
prior age
ape rigor
pie or rag
pig rear, O
a riper Go
RoI grape
ogre pair, ogre pair, send the word send the word ogre pair
being slain by an ogre pair
Go RAPIEST
ogre pair
Go rapier
antigeria
progeria
groovin' loose or heart to heart
Howzabout Some Love b slash w Put It There
Two Little Kids b slash w We've Got to Love One Another
Peaches & Herb
butt bustin' makes me feel good
bottoming for Buster Butt in Butt Bustin VII
Butt Bustin
bottoming and topping for Bill Murray in Gratuitous Butts VII
hey guys, remember fax machines
never really understanding the appeal of Bill Murray
never forgetting Kento, unfortunately
forgetting the gratuitous butt that opens
the last thirty years
kind of wishing that the other Ghostbusters would just randomly cameo in Bill Murray movies, but then remembering that would basically have made them just like the Adam Sandler Players for the last thirty years
septic jack atlas
forgetting the gratuitous butt that opens Lost in Translation
septic jack sock
hock
septic sock
wondering what kind of shock the firefighter who will inevitably drag the dismembered corpse Chris Lydon out of his fuck dungeon will experience
The judgments about the severity of the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction were presented with a certainty that was not justified
Chris Lydon is apparently still alive
disinterring Christopher Lydon's corspe and Eiffel Towering the eyholes of his skull in order to violate him like he violated fat gay Asians
honestly not caring if Christopher Lydon is grinding Kento's bones now
honestly not caring if Christopher Lydon is alive or dead now
honestly not knowing if Christopher Lydon is alive or dead now
sargassum, the weed of deceit
Chandler wobble
thirty thousand French colons from Cambodia were displaced after being expelled by the Khmer Rouge regime under Pol Pot
He was even a nasty, bad, naughty boy
He was a bad guy, really bad guy
Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, right
when you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack
wondering if there is a reverse Mandela Effect where you have vivid memories of someone being alive recently but it turns out they've been dead for over a year
Schrodinger's Dooku
still working
dead
honestly not knowing if Christopher Lee is alive or dead now
that Hammer Films is apparently still going
being kind of surprised they're making a new Invisible Man movie, but then remembering they were probably serious when that awful idea of a Classic Monster Cinematic Universe was being thrown around last year
Donald Trump's The Art of The Deal Colon The Movie
wondering if Johnny Depp will ever again play a character who isn't a mincing freakshow
Death Man is dead
to take the forbidden step
Kirk tells Spock to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up
Kirk tells Spock to put the planet on the starmap and to tell headquarters about the giant
Kobayashi Maru vs Giant Dry Worm
watching that bear like a hawk
Kobayashi vs Giant Bear
Joey Chestnut eats America
Before her murder, Eastwood was a mother of four children
They attempted to inform the police but had difficulty in making themselves understood
Tarita Virtue
He is the tyrant lizard king
Joey Chestnut is America
not having met another straight guy
life, uh, finds a way
Andrea Leadsom, who was created by Nazi scientists as a response to Dame Vera Lynn
Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' has tasty opening
Let it Go goat remix
now I'm too good at letting go
GRIEF'S FUN
SUFFERING
unconsciously falling on a witch, HAIL DOROTHY
incessantly falling for a witch
unconsciously falling for a witch
wondering why the American spelling of eagle isn't eagel
guessing that a vet would know the correct way to free an eagle
crapping won't stop the god woo, eh
Wife claims Army vet husband freed a bald eagle with his big gun
chopping wood won't stop the rage
you get a different genie each time that lantern is rubbed
Five Alien Species in Contact With Earth Right Now
a race of odobenoid aliens from the planet Walross VII
cut glass
cutlass
rocking that guy like a hurricane
crashing down in a hurricane
cutting loose like an animal
bottoming for Quark in Hand Negus VII
that when you watched all those scenes in Star Trek with Ferengi getting their ears massaged you were basically watching a hand job
Red Ken's nun bride
drunken inbreeds
literally the worst thing about Boris Johnson being the transparent fantasy he has of being just like Winston Churchill, thus making his spectacular failure, in his own mind, merely a precursor to his eventual popularity decades from now
Candle in the Wind Twenty Sixteen
Boris Johnson Colon Post Brexit 'hysteria' is like when Princess Diana died
regrets about ponies stealing the California gils' bras from the communal laundry room
bottoming for Sebulba in Now THIS is Podraping! VII, poodoo
podracing bottoms
podracing tops
producing post
digitally bottoming for Gene Talia in Post Production VII
learning that Bobby Hill is vegan and thinking, yeah, that boy ain't right
learning that Johnny Depp is Canadian and thinking, yeah, that sounds aboot right, eh
learning that Satan is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
learning that Seitan is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
The genitalia were digitally removed in post production
The Uranian
Crazy Engineering Colon Flying Solar to Uranus, If You Know What I Mean
Crazy Engineering Colon Flying Solar to Jupiter
the death of Jerome Bruner
we're gonna build a walrus pool and make the walrus pay for it
Trumpworld Kento
Pokemon SLIM and CUMS
Pokemon SLIM and SCUM
Laura Dern Worf Hair
bragging about being from West Vagina
bragging about being from West Vegania
playing Laura Dern Warfare on an unranked server
non vegan vegans
learning that VEGAN vegans are vegan and thinking, yeah, that vegans about vegan
learning that vegans are vegan and thinking, yeah, that vegans about vegan
learning that cheerios are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right, crisp
learning that crisps are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right, cheerio
learning that crisps are vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
learning that Johnny Depp is vegan and thinking, yeah, that sounds about right
Johnny Depp Has "JIM" Tattoo Changed to "JAM" Amid Amber Heard Divorce
Ty Dolla $ign
Johnny Depp Has "SLIM" Tattoo Changed to "SCUM" Amid Amber Heard Divorce
playing Modern Worf Hair on Red Ken BORIS van, err
playing Modern Worf Hair on Red Ken anus van, err
Mark Crumpacker wanting to make Kento eight hundred twenty one pounds of cod for his birthday
playing POSTMODERN Worf Hair on an unranked server
we're comin' to your town, we'll help you party it down, we're an Armenian band
playing Modern Worf Hair on an unranked server
They refer to him as "the Armenian actor" or as just "the Armenian"
joining the Cardassian Union because you got in a labor dispute
Cardassians
because it's American made
wondering why Stephen Hawking's voice synthesizer thing doesn't speak with a British accent
A US woman has been given a suspended four month jail sentence in Spain for threatening to kill British physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking
Pokemon Liars, Broken Promises and Racism
standing up against liars, broken promises and racism
Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice, Duke of Juice, Juice, Juice
Duke of Juice
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy Geldof
bottoming for Mark Cumpacker in Hot Sauce Ring ANDY SUMMERS VII
bottoming for Mark Cumpacker in Hot Sauce Ring Sting VII
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
They refer to him as "the American actor" or as just "the American"
Mark Crumpacker
wanting to make Kento eight hundred twenty one pounds of cod for his birthday
Captain Swiss Chard
Lieutenant Broccoli
Uncut Legends
blowing a painted pony, letting the spinning wheel turn
riding a painted pony, letting the spinning wheel turn
taking a subscription to Uncut magazine before you fully understood what it was
it was considered that the ringing of balls could prevent the fornication of storms
Asianworld Kento
Gayworld Kento
Fatworld Kento
it was considered that the ringing of bells could prevent the formation of storms
Trump Mulder Twenty Sixteen
records back in the nineties
Tesla said in a blogpost love has started to fade
The car attempted to drive full speed under the trailer, "with the bottom of the trailer impacting the windshield of the Model S", Tesla said in a blogpost
love has started to fade
saying OK it's just a little pinprick
agenty double o seven
Agent Double O Seven something dinosaur sex something autofill cache
mistletoe and holly deck the halls
Agent Double O Seven something Brexit something Falkland Islands something something North Korea pussy something South American nations
we, the people
our North Korea
Satellite imagery suggests China is pimping our North Korea to South American nations
Agent Double O Seven is sent to stop China from renting Chile North Korea pussy
Satellite imagery suggests China is renting Chile North Korea pussy
Satellite imagery suggests China is sexually punishing North Korea
Satellite imagery suggests China is secretly punishing North Korea
Trump Sandler Twenty Sixteen
Trump Sanders Twenty Sixteen
you can, just, get blown up and tortured, get blown up and tortured
you don't, have, to live like a refugee, don't have to live like a refugee
that to be honest when you hear the word "refugees" you do get a little bit angry and distrustful of the intentions of those it represents, but only because you had to listen to all those Fugees records back in the nineties
Agent Double O Seven infiltrates the northern French coast to destroy a camp filled with nefarious rapefugees
I haven't seen any of the Bourne films so I can't comment
he does not stop
Jason Bourne wakes from a coma with no idea of who he is or where he received all his weapons training or how he managed to maintain a gym honed physique and immediately starts shooting everybody
wondering what kind of tone postTrump Bourne films will take
Agent Double O Seven is in another country living it up because he was apparently very rich all along, that's how you know he's better than you
Agent Double O Seven is sent to the Land of the Dead to reassure the Skeleton King that his daughter is safe as Queen of Little England
basically the same but the targets will be smaller and the women will be 'beautiful'
Agent Double O Seven is sent to Truro to disrupt unification talks with the New Gaelic Republic
Agent Double O Seven is on a mission to Scotland when he discovers a breakaway sect in the North of England is receiving funds from there, so he murders half of Northumberland with a variety of overpowered and outlandish weapons to punish the conspiracy
TELL Yukio Miyachi EVERYTHING
Ask Yukio Miyachi Anything
that you worry quite a bit that you may actually resemble Stephen Fry
that you worry you may actually resemble Stephen Fry quite a bit
Agent Double O Seven is tasked to prevent an assassination attempt on a failed real estate mogul turned failed reality TV star turned orange skinned Presidential candidate but is all like I don't give a fuck
Agent Double O Seven rushes to stop a Serbian warlord from staging false flag terrorist attacks in Rome, but is detained for twelve hours at Calais for discrepancies in his paperwork
wondering what kind of tone postBrexit Bond films will take
Bond extracts information from a caviar merchant by immersing him in a vat of his own caviar and threatening to drown him in it
booking in to Logface to find a message from Zuck Bergermark asking you to please leave, and going back to YamSpec to find that Otm has left you a message instructing you to delete your account
only from behind
Stephen Fry will still take you
logging in to Facebook to find a message from Mark Zuckerberg asking you to please leave, and going back to MySpace to find that Tom has left you a message instructing you to delete your account
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is actually two small boys in a raincoat, one standing on the other's shoulders
Transgender People Will Be Allowed to Serve Openly in Military
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is the back half of a pantomime horse
That could be a Mexican plane up there
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is the front half of a pantomime horse
logging in to MyFry only to discover that your only friend is still Stephen and the only thing he's posted is the welcome message everybody gets
Donald Trompe
How To Make McFly's French Donalds
How To Make McDonald's French Fries
The red dragon ain't no evil
declaring that inequality is essential to fostering "the spirit of envy" and hailing greed as a "valuable spur to economic activity"
turning your back to the future parts
MyFry
bottoming for Stephen MyFry in Bareback to the Future Parts I, II, and III
saying she died easy of a broken heart disease
remember Gove, he's back, in POB form
it's just one of those astonishing things
he looks like Pob
I'm certain I'm not the first person to say this, but he looks like a ventriloquist's dummy
classic British body horror movie, Michael Gove's Face
classic British body horror movie, The Fry, desu ne
classic British body horror movie, The Fry
saying I live in a seashell free from the world
saying he was a most peculiar man
oh Rio, Rio, she has lost her feet and hands
her name is Rio and she washes up on the sand
Doctors worry over women going for cleanshaven 'Barbie doll look'
POINT BREAK REMAKE Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace SUCKS
POINT BREAK Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace Photographed
Ghost Of The Grey Lady Of Hampton Court Palace Photographed
bottoming for Miss Teen USA in Taking the Hugest Dump Colon Swimsuit Edition
dumping the hugest swimsuit
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit, Thousands of Horny Fecophiliacs Disappointed by Misunderstanding
Mutilated body washes up on Rio beach that is Olympics beach volleyball venue
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit, Thousands of Horny Losers Disappointed by Misunderstanding
Mr T USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit
Mr T'wat
Miss Teen USA Pageant Dumps the Swimsuit
Time Travelling Kento coming back to have sex with himself
Mr T'was
that Mr T was diagnosed with T cell lymphoma
tricking ryan north into dating Kento
remember Will Arnett, he's back, in GOB form
hey guys, remember Jaylala, she's back, in POG form
remember Trump, he's back, in GOP form
checking this site after many, many spicy cheetos
Ditka surprised to read that he'll be at GOP convention with Trump, da Bears
That's when the weed, crank, and the machete came out
Cummingtonite
checking the California Girls site
tricking this site into checking another site
checking this site until she had a breastgasm
checking this site after many, many Eiffel Towerings by Chris Lydon and a walrus
checking this site after many, many twinks
checking this site after many, many bears
checking this site after many, many beers
checking this site after wrecking this site
checking this site after many, many years
listening to Linkin Park in Lincoln Park in a Lincoln in park
Ryan Quisling North
if I could just ride out recessions in college I'd have four Nobel Prizes in four different fields by now
Crumpet Ringo Quisling Geldof, Hogwarts Groundskeeper
do you have any idea how much it costs to qualify as a padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight
Crumpet Ringo Quisling Geldof, Jedi Knight
Ringo would be a good middle name
he gets by with a little help from his crayons
Illustrations by Ringo Suck
Paul Colon Open Bracket
they do indeed
Illustrations by Paul Blow
He liked to post innocent looking links that led to a photo of a My Little Pony doll he had jerked off on
holy crap, wancakes are actually a thing
wancakes
a portmanteau of "pancakes" and "waffles"
of all the ways the world could end, the one where you aren't asked to make any kind of effort or show any concern whatsoever is the best
that for all the ways the world could end, the Hand Job Robot Apocalypse is probably one of the better ones, because, y'know, at least you get a hand job
so this is how the hand job robot apocalypse begins, to thunderous applause
backtracking, European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker declares himself both a robot and a bureaucrat to thunderous applause
not realizing that pro robot sentiment was so strong in the European Commission
European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker is heckled after saying that he is neither a robot nor a bureaucrat
I'm not your guy, doll
New PROOF in CENTURIES Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' FROZEN Case
New Theory in Decades Old 'Tiny Ox Bib, Eh' Cold Case
He later went on to stage a successful production of Guys and Dolls and opened an experimental theatre
New Theory in Decades Old 'Boy in the Box' Cold Case
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all memes" to leave the Regret Index but insisted he wasn't talking about "one legged Pakis"
A BBC reporter was left in shock after a Brexit supporter said he wanted "all immigrants" to leave the UK but insisted he wasn't talking about "Pakis"
you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something
a shaved orangutan with Owen Wilson's hair
there's a difference between being unemployable and being beaten to death because some idiot thinks you're foreign and it's all legitimised now
let's be honest with ourselves, it's not like anyone would hire you anyway
realising late last night that having a Polish middle name is probably at best hurting your employment chances now and at worst likely to attract violence
just absolutely dreading lookng at the halo hangin' from the corner of my girlfriend's four post bed every morning now
also this
just absolutely dreading looking at the regret index every morning now
just absolutely dreading looking at the news every morning now
N'Por, Chacellor of the Klingon High Council
EJaculating
your body is Canada's wonderland, eh
Canada's Wonderland
snerging Jewel's seat
now that's what I call a close encounter
winning the Teen Choice Award for Most Snergable Bike Seat with seventeen votes
NASA bleaching up your butt all morning, meow
NASA eating up your butt all morning
NASA being up your butt all morning
getting me the secretary of defense, THEN wanking him
getting me the secretary of defense, THEN waking him
wondering what the wasted output of a solar panel left on the moon by the Apollo Eleven mission would have been to twenty sixteen
we came in peace for all mankind
kind of deliberately disabling Gene Hunt, that goddamn pony blowing bastard
it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason
unless one of them becomes like a huge disease ridden hoebag or something
for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac
wondering who the most snergable celebrity is
drawing a picture of Will Smith smooshing his face into Mae Whitman's horse's bicycle seat and saying "WELCOME TO ERF"
WELCOME TO ERF
knowing that you've watched Independence Day relatively recently, perhaps as far back as the announcement of a sequel, but not remembering very much about it at all
her though
it's going to be harder and harder to attact American celebs to StarSnergers, what with the whole Brexit thing
wondering whether Mae Whitman is in the StarSnergers program
just now realizing that the hooker's kid from Independence Day was Nicky from the Fresh Prince, and the president's daughter from Independence Day was Ann Veal
suffering the results of a near fifty fifty vote tipped over by a portion of the population of whom one in fourteen are known to have some form of dementia
being pretty sure that your fairly meager savings were wiped out this morning, and that trying to withdraw them would contribute to a run on the bank and really wipe them out, and that by the time compensation is discussed hyperinflation will be in effect
it includes more Old Estonians than it does Old Etonians
Lesbians and Gays Piss on Trump There
Lesbians Against Copier Sluts
Lesbians Against Pit Closures
I have an interest in nude girls, I started doing this III years ago
Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Homo Room
kissing for Mark Hamill at the Quality Inn Pasadena, near the Rose Bowl, this Sunday at eight in the evening
an invisible man, fuckin' on the moon
klling for Mark Hamill at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room, near the Rose Bowl
holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room
shaving a politician who is fiscally responsible for the entire nation who has a bad week and spends the entire weekend doing crystal meth with his mate
having a politician who is fiscally responsible for the entire nation who has a bad week and spends the entire weekend doing crystal meth with his mates
some people might argue that a man who was personally responsible for the stability being taken out in the first place ought instead to have the batteries put in
putting the stability back in
Alex and his handsome sentient pound must travel back to the past and sway the vote for European solidarity, by proving that all you need is love
wondering how one goes about becoming a ghost on the fucking moon
we're all going to fucking die
old gray mare she ain't what she used to be
marrying a carrot
winning friends and influencing salad
not winning friends with salad
actually being surprised that there really is a guy named Donald Tusk, and he is not just a gay porn star name we dreamed up to soddomize Kento
always putting either too much or too little dressing on salad
being continually reminded that Nigel Farage has only got one ball
Boris and Cameron 'gnawed away at each other's testicles'
hardened cynics you have known for years suddenly and openly showing real fear in the face of this madness
not really being anosmic
probably coddling cock
probably cooking cod
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Chris Lydon and a Walrus
Kanye Wests Famous Video Boasts Bizarre Orgy with Donald Trump and Taylor Swift
wondering if you're really anosmic or if it was just part of the joke
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that goddamn deliberately disabled bastard
Quite some time ago, I was over at a friend's house watching him and another friend play a board game called Sex & Ill Asia
I'll let you decide which party is which
that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides
John 'The Dwayne' Rockson
EUROS Of Cock Per Year
Pounds Of Cock Per Year
Drain The Rod Johnson
going to that Cod Festival
it would have been funnier if I had written Dwayne 'The Rod' Johnson
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cock Per Year
"cod"
being anosmic since birth but being able to guess that the Rock is probably cooking cod
someone worked it out and it's like an entire minimum wage worth at wholesale prices, just for one item from what you'd hope is a fairly bland and repetitive menu, because fuck that guy
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Eats About Eight Hundred Twenty One Pounds Of Cod Per Year
going to the Fatass Guava Islet
going to that Ass Ague Festival
Rick Moranis Sausage Festival
Quite some time ago, I was over at a friend's house watching him and another friend play a board game called Axis & Allies
"Dior" is short for "diorite", a speckled, coarse grained igneous rock consisting essentially of plagioclase, feldspar, and hornblende or other mafic minerals
unsigned comments by Yves Saint Laurent
unsigned comments by Kento
WEEPING as you BELLOW the theme from ECSTATIC WEEKS
sobbing as you sing the theme from Happy Days
letting Liner do a bone off your bust
DUCK Rollanus, JEDI Knight
DUCK Rollanus
Rick Rollanus
Three Pretty Risky Colon Men and a Baby
No Bottom, I thought they closed that place down
honkalonkery
bottoming for "Downtown" Orlando Bloom in No Bottom VII
quackery
Orlando Bloom has no bottom
letting Buster do a line off your boner
plebiscites
Downtown Orlando has no bottom
Prime Minister Housekeeping
topping for Tom Cruise and Richard Gere in Pretty Risky Colon Men VII
Pretty Risky Colon Men Would Skip Condoms with Attractive Women
Prick Foranus
Rick Moranus
drawing a picture of Prime Minister Farage giving a fucktrumpet to President Trump
that you haven't given a shit about Juan Direction since Senor Zayn left
imagining President Trump and Prime Minister Farage or Gove or Fucktrumpet or whatever trying to negotiate a sex position in which both come out on top
As Trump landed today he was greeted by Mariachi band, Juan Direction, armed with a wheelbarrow full of bricks
I want to dive into your ocean
Ryan's decision not to implement forced SSL meaning that the amazing Regret Index will probably be used at your treason trial, after which you will be taken out back and bludgeoned to death with like a dead lesbian or something equally grim
imagining President Trump and Prime Minister Farage or Gove or Fucktrumpet or whatever trying to negotiate a trade deal in which both come out on top
the sole consolation in the aftermath of Brexit is that when Trump is elected you won't have to go through another lonely Valentine's day, because of being dead in a nuclear holocaust
imagining that most of America is going to be frantically Googling who this "Donald Trump" guy everyone has been talking about on the morning of November ninth
The British are frantically Googling what the EU is, hours after voting to leave it
Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals
not being sure how many times you listened to "A Tiny Swampland, Eh, Sic" as a preteen
In a fifty two forty eight referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way
not being sure how many times you listened to "Can I Play With Madness" as a preteen
making America grate again
bringing your daughter, bringing your daughter, to the slaughter
Trump thanks him for the gesture, but says that he already has plenty
Starsuckers
Comedian Lee Nelson interrupts Donald Trump event in Scotland, handing out swastika emblazoned golf balls
Frexit
Spexit
the Biritsh public, chereoi
wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem
A Texan went to the hospital for surgery, She woke up with a startling British accent
Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU
Donald Trump Says Brits 'Took Back Control of Their Country,' Promises That He Will Also Withdraw US From EU if Elected, 'Build a Wall Around Europe'
just now realising that "sarcophagus" means the same thing as "carnivore"
that's it, dex over, nothing can ever top that
orange is the new blackface
wondering why all the really colossal racists in politics are orange
Donald Trump Says Brits 'Took Back Control of Their Country'
Man charged with removing another man's watch in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's wallet in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's spectacles in a motel
Man charged with removing another man's testicle in a motel
sure, I'll lose some people I care about, but the net gain is worth it
I need you to design a bomb that kills anybody over the age of fifty, send it to last week, and detonate it
I'm going to need you to do something for me
GADASS
Global Aeronautical Distress and Safety System
Kodiak US House candidate put up campaign billboard with the slogan 'Make America White Again'
Tennessee US House candidate put up campaign billboard with the slogan 'Make America White Again'
Life As a Star Wars
Ikedaclysm
Ikedagasm
Ikedaclasm
deep in Myke Hawke, I do believe we're not gonna make it
deep in my heart, I do believe we're not gonna make it
Dior's Lewd Pagan Sand Strip, eh
Barely Legally Blonde
that we make up lots of fake porn titles here but Legally Blonde is actually a really good name for a porn film as it is
Rebecca Black has been through some rough times like many childhood stars and is doing good things in her personal life
Legally Bangable Colon Red, White, and Boned
Legally Bangable
wondering which musicians Rebecca Black is interning for
Rebecca Black has recently been super busy in the studio working on some exciting new music, that we cannot wait to hear
Pokemon Life As a House & Star Wars
just now realizing that Rebecca Black has been legally bangable for over a year now
I don't like Sandshrew, it's course and rough and irritating, it gets everywhere
Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars
Hayden Christensen, star of Life As a House & Star Wars
riding Bicoid Babe style dildo refuse
writing Bicoid Babe style dildo reviews
the New York Times being infiltrated by fringe prosand propagandists
always and forevermore I call to say I'm on the way
The World's Disappearing Sand
Myke Hawke Does XXX Tricks
My Pony Does XXX Tricks
en kol chadash tachat hashamesh
I think we may have invented a new kind of porn here
drawing a picture of HILLARY the CLYDESDALE with a big grin on HER face standing next to a visibly PARTURITIONAL DONALD TRUMP
drawing a picture of HILLARY the Pony with a big grin on HER face standing next to a visibly pregnant DONALD TRUMP
drawing a picture of Bill the Pony with a big grin on his face standing next to a visibly pregnant Rosie Cotton
assuming that twenty is good and one is bad in Dungeons & Dragons, which you have never played and only vaguely remember the cartoon of
Gary Gygax rolled a natural twenty for Trolling
Ha'ponies have the upper body of a halfling combined with the lower body of a pony
btrfly
getting a lick job from a centaur hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
on a mountain of skulls, in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, sitting on a throne of lick job offers
seeing how many ponies you could blow in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake, then trying to break that record
seeing how many ponies you could blow in a season, and then trying to break that record
holding the Car Lesbians
thrilling the Car Lesbians
kissing the Car Lesbians
killing the Car Lesbians
Car Lesbians
bragging about blowing only eight ponies per season
on a mountain of skills, in the office of HR, sitting on a throne of job offers
writing Bicoid Babe on a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, sitting on a throne of blood type regrets
regrets about pony season
writing Bicoid Babe blood type regrets
typing Bicoid Babe write regrets
Cleveland Park Flooding Time Lapse
writing Bicoid Babe type regrets
really wanting to try driving with polarised sunglasses, but not wanting to spend all that money on prescription lenses that you might not like
just now realizing that those "bounty hunters" are probably magical girls, desu ne
just now realizing that all that "stuff" you swallowed was probably semen
just now realizing that those "tentacles" are probably dicks
the two Carkoon dicks Boba Fett banged on the Slave I
the two cartoon dicks Jango Fett painted on the Slave I
wishing you could have a general election instead of a referendum
I just wouldn't have done it
nobody would write such a lengthy and detailed fanfiction and post it to the internet unless there were a solid kernel of truth to it
David Schwimmer is going to sue us in England
I've heard that about the F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
they love having sex with donkeys
for dutch people very fun
breading Kento and serving him with butter and sprinkles, jij hebt seks met ezels
everybody's laughing under cigarette trees
'FINDING DORY' HAS TRANSGENDER STINGRAY
I said hello, asked if it was okay to take his picture, and then asked why he was dressed as a plant
he also raped a bear
There is one particularly sick photo of a child holding what appears to be a dead goose bludgeoned to death!
that's precisely what I mean
you mean sticking your penis in him
I know what you mean
reboning Kento, if you know what I mean
deboning Kento, stuffing him into a chicken, which is then stuffed in a duck, which is then stuffed in a turkey
breading Kento and serving him with vinegar and chips, cheerio
breading Kento and serving him with ketchup and fries
JJRW Turkien
that you were never a big fan of JMW Turner's controversial Canadian Period
the two dorks on cacti JMW Turner painted on Pastel Shive, Eh
the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship
Bears and wolves often shit in same woods, neither should be approached, report finds
Rightwing extremists kill and injure more people in lone wolf attacks than Islamist terrorists acting alone, a report by a security thinktank says
Anal Bum Skeins
Anus Slime Bank
thank god they managed to buy all those Harriers dirt cheap a few years back
Lesbian Unmask
Unsinkable Sam
Romulans forced to pull warbirds out of 'boner day' after new fleet delay, Number One
Marine Corps forced to pull warbirds out of 'boneyard' after new fleet delay
Trump's staff surrounded his home with a six metre high earthen wall and then rows of trees, blocking his house from being seen from the course
That's blood money is blood money
Tejit
Brentering Kento
breast shitting Kento
Brexiting Kento
Dinosaur Sex Colon Alabama Teen Needs Firefighters to Pry Barney Off Her Ass
Dinosaur Attack Colon Alabama Teen Needs Firefighters to Pry Barney Off Her Head
straddling Kento and bottoming his pound, cheerio
stranding Kento and puddling his tot, boom
straddling Kento and pounding his bottom
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drum luge
naming your daughter Kento
naming your daughter Tiny Tiger
naming your daughter SASKATCHEWAN, EH
naming your daughter Rooney neighborino
naming your daughter Montana
naming your daughter Indiana
naming your daughter Ruin Me
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes
she's gone from suck to blow!
rooning your daughter Namey
roon rod rodden on heaven's door
Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena
Quicken Loans Arena
wondering who would win in a fight between David Cameron Diaz and Mickey Rooney Mara
Rooney Rod Roddenberry Geldof
naming your daughter Rooney
Rod Roddenberry
The magazine also determined that their readers' "SNES" for the series included Dan Stevens as the captain, Rooney Mara as the first officer, Gina Torres as the doctor, Nick Frost as the engineer, and Wil Wheaton as the Federation President
seeing Axl Rose mentioned on the internet and wishing you'd thought of "you could be mine, but you're way over there" back when he was last mentioned
The magazine also determined that their readers' "dream cast" for the series included Dan Stevens as the captain, Rooney Mara as the first officer, Gina Torres as the doctor, Nick Frost as the engineer, and Wil Wheaton as the Federation President
the Klingons of the late twenty three eighties went back in time and PETAHQ'd JRR Tolkien before he wrote any stories in their universe, because they were sick of that shit
Three Men and a Baby Into Darkness
wondering why they couldn't get Zachary Quinto to perform The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins over the end credits of Lord of the Rings II Colon The Hobbit Colon Part III Colon The Battle of the Five Armies Colon The Legend of Curly's Gold
we could always bump French Stewart up
he's already set to play Old Russian Spy from an alternate timeline
Walter Koenig is still kicking
well, all his scenes were filmed so I guess we're okay, but we'll have to find a replacement for President Housekeeping II Colon Taking Out the Trash
I guess we're going to need someone else to play the Russian spy in President Housekeeping
the irony of Anton Yelchin apparently being killed because he failed to properly apply the parking brake, when the plot of his first Star Trek movie hinged on his and his ship's survival because he mistakenly failed to disengage it
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is BALLS DEEP in the CLINTONS filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is in the CLINTONS filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is in the bushes filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a waffle tricking a minimalist into dating a hoarder
in the bushes filming me
drawing a picture of Montana Fishburne peeing on Kim Jong il's scalp while Miley Cyrus takes a dump on his chest
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento eats a waffle
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a waffle
tricking a minimalist into dating a hoarder
Gogigyeopbbang
A government website once stated that Kim Jong il never needed to urinate or defecate
the death of Anton Yelchin
screwing everything up so badly
the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me
telling the Philippines authorities that she had a breastgasm
Sage, Seargeoh, Sistine, Sophia, and Scarlet Stallone
the citizens of the ski resort community of Killington, Vermont, voted in favor of pursuing secession from Vermont and admission into the state of New Hampshire
the right to arm gays
Pink Pistols
dumping a bucket of semen over French Stewart while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
something between dyslexia and perversion leading you to momentarily believe that you had read a comment about dumping a bucket of semen over French Stewart
special guest star Old Ass Emmy Cicierega
President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan
President Housekeeping
He called me 'Ms Housekeeping' in front of his friends
I feel like a supermodel, except like times ten
Death to Traitors Freedom for Britain Geldof
My name is death to traitors, freedom for Britain
insulting Turkish Radiohead
Turkish police use tear gas on protesters after Radiohead fans attacked
Kony Ikeda Sixty Nine
the roar of "Poutine, eh!" by Canadian fans trying to distract the opposing goalkeeper punting the ball upfield
the roar of "Eeeh puto!" by Mexican fans trying to distract the opposing goalkeeper punting the ball upfield
Rappin' for Jesus
Astronomers Find Unusually Large Number Of Hot Jupiters In Dense Star Cluster
finding "Trump Ikeda Sixty Nine" in your autofill cache
finding "Trump Ikeda Twenty Sixteen" in your autofill cache
that we couldn't elect Joseph Kony in Twenty Twelve, but we may be able to in Twenty Sixteen
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is Joseph Kony
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a gay fish
pretend I said that four years ago
regrets about Kony jacking in San Diego
regrets about Kony jacking
KIKIDEE used HEARTBREAK! It was SUPER EFFECTIVE!
when you were a kid and you were handed down a portable record player and like four records, which were Elton John and Kiki Dee's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart", two Iron Maiden singles, and something else you've forgotten thirty years later
Kiki Dee, Jedi Knight
RuRINGO
don't go breaking Myke Hawke
Ensign RuPaul
RuJohn
RuPaul John, Jedi Knight
wondering how a racist, violent, murderous, homophobic gay guy managed to get a string of endorsement deals and starring roles in theatrically released movies and you couldn't even arrange a snerging of the bike seat of someone you've actually met
I think it was RuPaul
not remembering who Elton John's second wife was
wondering how a racist, violent, murderous, homophobic gay guy managed to get not one but two women to marry him and you're stuck fantasizing about banging busty late nineties pop country singers
a sign that says OXEN GOUT
a sign that says OX TOUNGE
being perceived as a space cowboy
being perceived as a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker
being perceived as a Prince Albert
being perceived as racist, cheerio
bottoming for Hulk Homo in Aroused Passions VII
being perceived as a jerk
being kind of surprised there's no pornstar called Hulk Homo
'Subway Footlong' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length
wanting to put Kento's sex tape up on Gawker for his birthday
wanting to make Kento a Hulk Hoagie for his birthday
that you never had the chance to stuff your face with a Hulk Hoagie with a side of Hulkamanicotti
rights to use his name an image to promote "pasta, pasta restaurants, sandwiches and sun tan oil"
the result was an attractive looking, good singing bird
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a cross between a meat ram and a hardy mountain ewe
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a mule
Gene Hunt, blowing a pony in West Virginia
Lydon, his radio show cancelled
Kento, his cheeks spread wide
Ohi and Ohana
Kento, when the index was large
Kento, between Lydon and a walrus
Kadir beneath Mo Moteh
That girl's father, Daniel Stoltzfus, said he did online research and was under the impression that it was legal to give his daughter to Kaplan after the man helped his family financially, court papers state
Oholah and Oholibah
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
being conceived as a joke
being perceived as a joke
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a dum gruel
telling the Tatooine authorities that Kento is a dug lemur
buffing Angel Colon
drawing a picture of Angel Colon and Sarah Bustamantes standing around shrugging their shoulders wondering why we're ignoring them
doing angel colon just one more time
Canada worst hit by rise in sand and dust storms, eh
jokes
I thought we weren't doing Angel Colon
Angel Colon, Sith Master
The Valencia's provincial prosecutor's office said it was studying a recent speech made by Valencia Archbishop Antonio Canizares in which he said "powers such as the gay empire" promoted the rise of movements against the Christian family
many Fruitarians died to express this breast milk
destroying the rebel base on Fruitar
expressing breast milk with your cut off hand
Luke Breastfeeder
Fruitarian Breastfeeder Hand Expresses Breast Milk
Vatican halyu wave
Vatican Mexican wave
Vatican crime wave
Vatican worst hit by rise in bears shitting
Middle East worst hit by rise in sand and dust storms
playing strip Egyptian Ratscrew with a wererat
saying that this adventure was only the beginning of strange occurrence in Penis Valley, hinting at a possible sequel
wondering whether the FBI have established Owen Wilson's alibi during the period in which the Golden State Killer was operating
that humanised Oscar the Grouch looking fella
saying that this adventure was only the beginning of strange occurrences in Pine Valley, hinting at a possible sequel
Alien vs Parkour
Abraham Lincoln, Parkour Guy
Pride and Prejudice and Parkour
The Murders in the Rue Morgue, Twenty Sixteen Edition
bottoming for Ray Parker VII in Rape Parkour VII
clothing his hide
hiding his clones
hiding his clothes
spoffing it all
spending it all
Pokemon Batley and Spen
confusing pete rose with pete best
Ray Parker III's great great aunt petunia
Ray Parker Jr penis area tug taunt
Ray Parker Sr's aunt Petunia
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia slapping Kento naked and hiding his clothes
briefly wondering what Kento could have said to an elderly woman to provoke such a violent response then realizing it was definitely something about nomoi
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia shiving Kento
shaving Kento
Ray Parker Jr's great aunt Petunia
shiving Kento
sieving Kento
cifing Kento
fliming Springfield
yiffing Kento
filming Kento
filling Kento
fining Kento
fining Suzy
fining Dory
Jumpin' Jack Pants
a pair of Cockney sea lions
Armenian Chucker Inc
American Chunker Inc
buttering my butt and calling me a biscuit
she's going to "slap you naked and hide your clothes"
Two fake Tom Cruises
an image of a penis covered by a clenched like fist with the words "mine is bigger"
our secret's worth its weight in gold
buying Jack pants with Jack Atlas
buying Jack pants with Jack Palance
far right wing tart
calling Karachi "Sind City"
Doctors Without Jack Pants
right wing fart art
a British former skeleton racer and Olympic gold medallist
for lack of a Jack pants the cam opportunity was lost
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Them," she spoke in mouse voice
To swagger into Brussels with CONFEDERATE Jack pants on and say ' 'Ello luv, you're looking nice today, would you like some'
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Would you like a sandwich," she mouthed
having no Jack pants whatsoever, be they Union or otherwise
there's only one thing they should be mouthing, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge, amirite
WOMEN, amirite
One woman pointed security toward a couple sitting quietly in their seats "Them," she mouthed
these queens get shit done
To swagger into Brussels with Union Jack pants on and say ' 'Ello luv, you're looking nice today, would you like some'
Each video includes special narration that has been tailored and crafted to give the user full enjoyment of the scene
Wesley Crushing it
that white people have been crushing it for five centuries
white swans can't crush it
that white people can't jump
White people outside taking selfies with tornadoes and shit
the duck of windsor crushing it
bottoming for Red Don in Red MenAss VII
ripping it
Red MenAss
Red Colon
walking around gay and asian in memphis
growing up fat in north korea
growing up gay and asian in memphis
the duck of windsor
crushing it
proposing that Trump and Clinton play World of Tanks to determine who shall be president
feeling like it seems every Presidential election related headline this year involves someone "ripping" someone or something, and wondering whether the candidates of this year have an unusual proclivity for ripping, or if headline writers are just lazy
sexual ecstasy is preying on human beings
there's a third Gallagher brother too
Miley Cyrus #justSEOthings
Medium Sized Reddish Dawn
being aware that there was more than one Hemsworth brother, but being genuinely surprised that there are three
Red Dawn II Colon Red Evening
#justinsomniathings
being so tired that while concentrating on a screen eighteen inches from your face you completely ignore a cup of tea you made yourself, for ninety minutes, while it's literally between you and the screen
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Hold Hands During NYC Date Night, Kodiak Man Has to Google to Him to Find Out Whether He's the Guy From Oasis or Thor, And It Turns Out He's Neither
recently discovering you have a fetish for Pokemon Wearing Tennis Shoes and Either Bikinis or Bra and Panties
recently discovering you have a fetish for computers wearing tennis shoes and either bikinis or bra and panties
regret number two three nine six two
that, upon some introspection, you realized that you do indeed have very minor fetishes for sneakers, socks, and nylons, which are all kind of foot focused, but you enjoy them in the context of the entire body, not the body parts themselves
that's just how it is
they're stupid and I don't understand them
not understanding how foot fetishists can be anything other than stupid for their obsession with faintly cheesy faintly vinegary misshapen hands
seriously not understanding what the hell is supposed to be erotic about footjobs, like are they supposed to be performed when you're just out of the shower or what because most of the rest of the time the soles of your feet are filthy
hand, blow, and foot, amirite
a woman with three jobs
a WOMAN
When a fleshless corpse is found on a Florida estate, a reclusive caretaker, an investigative reporter, a police officer, and a woman discover that a creature whose victims die in a frenzied state of sexual ecstasy is preying on human beings
a pornographic horror novel about a creature that uses sex pheromones to lure its prey to their doom
that even though it is Regret Index policy to make fun of all people with even vaguely sexual names, Angel Colon has been through a lot so that's all I'm going to ever say about him
that when you hear Angel Colon you imagine the little devil and angel sitting on your shoulder like in the old cartoons except instead of your shoulder it's your asshole
vital amines
necessary animals
essential oils
vital minerals
by god he'll die trying
a man cannot live on walrus spoff alone
wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible
It had the hair, the nose, everything
your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff
really wishing journalists would write "his pigeon became a grouse" instead of "he got swangry"
your diet of M&M's
putting M&Ms in your mom's linguine, if you know what I mean
putting M&Ms in your mom's linguine
your diet of sliced sinful sense pie
your diet of unspecified illnesses
the ravioli of your mom
being a lovable person and yet being unloved
the unraveling of your mind
One person was seen committing an "indecent act" as they drove at speed in a BMW
mom's linguine
dreaming you sold your car, but it was a magic car like Herbie and you instantly regretted it, and so tracking it down and recovering it while doing a Dean Jones impression
you die of asthma
vagina mat, shh
having asthma
being slain by a clawing ogress
clawing ogress
growing scales
shaved volitions
nothing's gonna save us now
slavish devotion
you die of dysentery
Slavophiles
beefing her
porking her
walrus butthurt
walrus butter
having a fursuit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
Venus of Vestonice
Kento knows more about fucking walruses than will i am
Kento knows more about fucking walruses than I ever will
we have lost objective butter
Denton knows more about fucking pigs than I ever will
Mr Spaghetti
having a surfeit of lampreys on your work laptop
Agent Cody Two Banks Colon Destination London
you die of unspecified illnesses
also this is a work laptop, so it would be coworkers who found out
they've already seen me having dinosaur sex with agenty fiftyseven in my autofill cache, I don't think anything could shock them now
signed, Miley Cyrus
blowing almost constantly
wondering if "drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on Eminem's scalp while Chris Brown takes a dump on his chest" is the kind of thing you want your loved ones to find in your autofill cache after you die of unspecified illnesses
don't miss your chance to blow
drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on Eminem's scalp while Chris Brown takes a dump on his chest
having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
really wishing journalists would write "surfeit of lampreys" instead of "furiously masturbating"
really wishing journalists would write "his gorge rose" instead of "he got angry"
#deaf
being resigned to urine, Eminem, death
being resigned to your own eminent domain
being resigned to your own imminent death
FOZZIE BEAR pornalism
orange and ginger beer with a twist of lime
not fucking around
proceeding immediately to the emergency room or seeking emergency medical assistance
coughing up a bunch of blood
Ronald David Roberts
The tweet was later deleted from the Leave dot EU account but not before it had been retweeted about lOO times and drawn condemnation from remain campaigners
gonzo pornalism
really wishing pornalists would write "his penis became aroused" instead of "he got horny"
valse triste
False Dmitry II
ratitorhea
galactorrhea
thanks, you too
that you're a silly person, but you have some interesting characteristics
Clinton stated that the allegation was absurd because Willey is a small breasted woman and he would never pursue such a woman
Plan Kathleen
Pokemon Rool and Franjean
bottoming for Kevin Polack in Downmarket Polacks VII
finding agent fiftyseven having rough sex with a downmarket polack in your autofill cache
Downmarket Polack Monday
Premium Greek Sunday
Upscale Latin Saturday
Mateen's gayher was quoted as saying that he had seen his son's passion get aroused after seeing a fat couple killing at a festival marketplace in Miami months prior to the attack, which he suggested might be a motivating factor, yeah yeah yeah yeah Miami
really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry"
Mateen's father was quoted as saying that he had seen his son get angry after seeing a gay couple kissing at a festival marketplace in Miami months prior to the attack, which he suggested might be a motivating factor
being partially bananas
slowness
failing to grow
being the subject
the limits of language
that you want to use what little passion you have well
that you will probably not live for very much longer
that the fire burns so little in you
the inability to see
the look in my eyes
a love of peace
the unbearable
that which can only be known without speaking
personal meaning
the lovers
coach z
friend z
frenzy
my memories of you
that you may be a fool but not the kind of fool everyone thinks you to be
being totally bananas
that you're not even fixated on sex, what interests you is a deep, meaningful and terrifying relationship
wondering which will come first, Diablo IV or Kento having sex
that you're not a monster
the inexplicable charisma of the rival
wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred billion regrets or Kento having sex
wondering how it always comes back to this
wondering how Kento writes his name in kancho
feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open
betting Myke Hawke couldn't swallow all those batteries
a feeling at my fingertips that's pulling at Myke Hawke
a feeling at my fingertips that's pulling at my skin
it just happens automatically
you make Kento defile fog, eh
you make the knife feel good
Several people injured in harpooning at Florida fat club
Several people injured in shooting at Florida Asian club
Several people injured in shooting at Florida gay club
that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit
Pokemon Animals and Celebrities
that if you read BYOB XP, you'd be a hipster
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule
Hey its me kento i drink pee
bjork please post on byob
hej
most of our Kento memes here relate to you getting fucked by animals and celebrities
that if you read BYOB XP, you'd have learned about the Kento Is Tripping Sack meme
I take Myke Hawke in doses
let's start with webcam stuff and see where we want to go from there
Maybe one day we can fuck in bank
I take my drugs in doses
space nigga
who the fuck bitch is this
my erect anal olives
love, manatee lyrics
love, merely Satanic
violent camel years
young turtle the carbon god
fat straight asians doesn't really roll off the tongue
I'm straight
coming in third then changing up to a more appropriate gear
space roar
Samantha Fox donated her favourite bra to a charity auction
Ben Stein Colon Ferris Bueller Represents the Reagan Era
coming in third
straddling a pole between a pair of giant inflatable legs
and oh how they danced, the little douchebags of Stonehenge
their Brit Award was reportedly found buried in a field near Stonehenge
drawing a picture of the rachel being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
Love, American Style
Kenchel
noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person
wondering which of the many time wasting opportunities the internet provides would be better than the amazing Regret Index
Your potential regret of Christopher Lydon's Erection has already been added! It currently has a regret index of ONE
Christopher Lydon's Regretcion
Christopher Nolan's Regretcion
regrection
it's hard to grasp
wondering why anyone would be still talking about a joke that's like six years old
coming ON sounding a bit REINHOLDY
demanding ristet from a polse
electroplating Kento's penis
demanding R E S P E C T from a search engine
that fiftyseven is not a cute agent to have never fucked a dinosaur
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never thrilled a woman
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never held a woman
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never killed a woman
first demanding respect from, then being pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine
Animorphs, the most beautiful lie
coming off sounding a bit judgey
remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better
identifying strongly with homura akemi
anime, the most beautiful lie
anime has lied to you
that twentyseven is not a cute age to have never kissed a woman
demanding respect from a machine
that you'd like to connect in an honest way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence
Poor old Kento, he's gagging on a hard one
Poor old Rachel, she's gagging for a hard one
that it's been suggested that you are the Kento Ikeda of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Chuck Cunningham of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Judy Winslow of the Regret Index
that it's been suggested that you are the Poochie of the Regret Index
being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret
poor lung function
Pocahontas is at it again!
'Hobbits' probably barbecued minielephants on this Indonesian island
Jack Crusher
that everyone assumes you're a fag libido tool when in fact you're also a divorced swollen nit
that if you burp after eating cucumbers it tastes like watermelon
that everyone assumes you're a goofball idiot when in fact you're also inclined towards love
Operation Uranus's Pike
Operation Neptune's Spear
Geronimo's ninth and last wife was Azul
putting the Oasis in Jackie Ns
Jackie E I E I Onassis
Jack Atlas onanism
putting the Jackie O in O Ring Blow Out
Jack E Onanism
Jackie Onanism
that we joke about gay celebrities and shit all the time here, but in complete honesty you figure the chances that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen have never had sex are virtually nil
If you're an internationalist, you're gay
If you're gay, you're an internationalist
the image was among the first results returned in a Google search for "black family," and that the photograph was captured at the Midwest Black Family Reunion
ass stretch my pants
two hours' sleep
stretch pants my ass
Jackie O not being able to take the entirety of the Mr T branded "Gentle Giant" dildos you got her for Christmas
putting it in Jackie O's ass
putting the ass in Onassis in Jackie O's
free stretch pants inside
Jackie O's is a breakfast cereal which Lisa Simpson likes
The marriage brought her considerable adverse publicity, including talk of excommunication by the Roman Catholic church
V for Vladimir Putin
Portman still seems to believe that standing around with your mouth hanging open constitutes a performance
really looking forward to that Hobbit Potter movie
The DC Extended Universe
my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death
maybe her character died, I haven't seen it and I don't really give a fuck
wondering if Natalie Portman's Hollywood stock has fallen to the point where reprising her role in V for Vendetta II Colon Viva Rock Vegas for Vendetta would be out of the question
it's funny now but it's inevitable really
we're gonna get arrested, they'll shave our heads, and we're gonna have to make V for Vendetta II Colon TwoV, TwoVendetta
According to Julius Malick, the worker who submitted the lawsuit, they were given drinks containing uranium without medical supervision and without obtaining written consent or warning them about risks of side effects
we're gonna get arrested, they'll shave our heads, and we're gonna have to make rootbeer in the toilet
fatworld, where halvatarians are healthy eaters
drawing a picture of like three guys masturbating to the same disgusting mental image
imagining that at least half of all fatworld contributors would masturbate to that last regret
imagining that most "restaurants" in fatworld are just assembly lines in which the morbidly obese women are strapped in using heavy duty cables and a calorie dense slurry is piped down their throats, gavage style
wondering whether fatworld has restaurants or just feeding troughs lining the streets which double as open sewers
supersizing your California double cheeseburger meal after an especially long labor
California cheeseburgers are standard fare in nearly all fatworld restaurants
carlanetics
rebeccnetics
needing an epidural to cope with your child's girth
the miracle of girth
childgirth
almost typoing "girth" instead of "birth"
genuinely wondering how birth works in fatworld, because it seems like a lot of those women would be constantly surrounded by baby sized food items that they would shovel into their relentless maws without too much examination
having never seen a pregnant fat woman and wondering if there's something going on there
having never seen a pregnant gay woman and wondering if there's something going on there
having never seen a pregnant Asian woman and wondering if there's something going on there
tonguing Leighton Meester's shithole
touching Leighton Meester's shit, if you know what I mean
The Latest Colon Twink kissed in Alaska after possible bleaching, meow
The Latest Colon Bear killed in Alaska after possible mauling
Leighton Buzzard, Jedi Knight
Wii Play Colon Motion
Leighton Meester, Sith Lord
I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave
I learn to part with a smile on my face
bottoming for Shagger Sanders in It'll Do More Than Itch VII
United States Democratic Party takes back job offer after finding out candidate was a porn star
stealing that raptor's eggs from the communal laundry room
Its name is Latin for 'egg taker' or "egg seizer"
stealing raptor eggs
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his back to give a dumpster lick job
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his resume to give a dumpster lick job
sometimes wondering whether Kento gets passed over for jobs because of, you know, the walrus stuff, but then thinking he probably doesn't have to lie on his resume to get a dumpster lick job
putting the man sacks in Goldman Sachs Japan
The code of ethics at Goldman Sachs Japan does not explicitly prohibit former porn stars from working at the firm
Goldman Sachs Japan takes back job offer after finding out candidate was a porn star
putting your lips in the glory hole and drinking it all up
putting the lime in the coconut and drinking it all up
putting the golf balls into the glory holes
ponies that only blow about eight times per season
Aloysia triphylla
Not surprisingly for a ruler nicknamed "the Sot", popular legend ascribed this determination to his love of Cypriot wines
putting the pony penis in your mouth
putting the golf balls into the golf holes
putting the deliberately disabled modems into the customers
putting the straight guy into another straight guy
putting the champagne in a shoe
putting the bra in the communal laundry room
putting the bop in the bop da bop da bop
putting the Oasis in Jurassic Paroasisk
putting the Oasis in Juroasisc Park
putting the ass in Oasis
indefinite uploads
your bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger!
Optimizing your large GIFs
Pokemon Donald Trump Quotes and Will Smith Lyrics
imgur's arbitrary file size limit preventing you from uploading assicpark dot gif, even though it would be converted into a webm, which imgur also won't let you upload
Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican, Black, White, Cuban, and Asian
putting the arse in Jurarseic Park, cheerio
A prisoner in West Virginia has been given the go ahead to sue state prison officials for surgically removing batteries which he had had implanted in his urethra
West Virginia is the new Florida
A prisoner in West Virginia has been given the go ahead to sue state prison officials for surgically removing marbles which he had had implanted in his penis
Pokemon Migration and Terrorism
There is no basis in fact for this point and it is a very serious, even alarmist, conflation of migration and terrorism
Rose Cavena Wakeman
butane in my veins
you're not so bad yourself
you're perfect, yes, it's true
Paul Abdul
drawing a picture of Master P peeing on Paul Abdul's scalp while MC Skat Kat takes a dump on her chest
Dances With Cats
Paula Abdul Danced on by Overexcited So You Think You Can Vomit Contestant
So You Think You Can Vomit On Paula Abdul
Czterej pancerni i dzieckiem
Paula Abdul Vomited on by Overexcited So You Think You Can Dance Contestant
Czterej pancerni i pies
fucking Oasis
putting the ass in Jurassic Park
how weird it seems to you that all the problems of Jurassic Park, from a violent dinosaur perspective, could have been solved if someone had dinosaur sex and the wit to fuck some goddamn dinosaurs, yet agent fiftyseven doesn't even have it
how weird it seems to you that all the problems of Jurassic Park, from a violent dinosaur perspective, could have been solved if someone had a laser pointer and the wit to blind some goddamn dinosaurs, yet Malcolm doesn't even have one
maybe it's the power trying to come back on
even deinowsawhers
Anusis
Anus and Anusability
aeries
a chemist and sniper who works for Bellwether
Oasis
a laid back Yak who is the owner of the naturist club Mystic Springs Oasis
Aries
Ares
Jim West doped apes
Jim West, dosed rape
wondering what Jim West, desperado's policy on damsels in bulletproof vests, enchiladas is
comments that don't come to their anuses
comments that don't come to their senses
drawing a picture of Woody Allen out eating feces for Soon Yi
drawing a picture of Will Smith out eating feces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding faces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding feces for so long
drawing a picture of Will Smith out riding fences for so long
messing with Texas, then skipping town when Texas told you it was pregnant
comments that make no sense
writing a regret which you subsequently immediately regret
having impure thoughts about a hairless Natalie Portman
drawing a picture of Natalie Portman being shorn by Lana and Lilly Wachowski in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake
the Lifting and Separation of Brest
Septic Girls, Eh
the Union of Brest
they travel in herds
shaving my head for this
drawing a picture of a group of heterosexual tearful Texans and Mel Gibson pulling down their sign after seeing Kento cross the border
drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border
building a wall around Fat Gay Asia
drawing a picture of a group of heterosexual tearful Texans pulling down their sign after seeing Kento cross the border
unexpected Mel Gibson cameos
imaginando signos en la frontera de Tejas leer "Bienvenido a Tejas! Uno de los lugares mas heterosexuales en la Tierra!"
drawing a picture of a heterosexual Texan eating Virginia ham while listening to the Dixie Chicks
imagining signs on the Texas border reading "Welcome to TEXAS! One of the most heterosexual places on Earth!"
a friend told me that
you don't have to be gay to like Dixie Chicks
Fairytale Colon A True Story
finding it odd that Texas, whose native population ranks among the most heterosexual in the world, would produce a group called the Dixie Chicks
Waffletastic Spice
The Mostly Salt With Some Occasional Sourness Girls
finding it odd that England, whose native cuisine ranks among the blandest in the world, would produce a group called the Spice Girls, guvna
The Spice Girls
CLINTON SEASON!
TRUMP SEASON!
Hillary Clinton once again criticized Mr Trump's conduct in the presidential race, saying "meep meep"
Mr Trump said, his supporters should keep up the claims of bias against the federal mouse in the case, Speedy Gonzalez, and accuse reporters of being "racists" for asking questions about the candidate's criticism, according to the report
Mr Trump said, his supporters should keep up the claims of bias against the federal judge in the case, Gonzalo P Curiel, and accuse reporters of being "racists" for asking questions about the candidate's criticism, according to the report
the second rape is coincidence
the first rape is the deepest
besalting a clam
befriending a ham
befriending a baby
I'm asking for a friend
wondering what the baby to ham exchange rate is
West Virginia couple accused of trying to sell baby for ham
the last slice of Virginia ham is the best that you can eat
bragging about selling your baby in West Virginia
Swan Princess Colon Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today
The third rape is the most mysterious
West Virginia couple accused of trying to sell baby for drugs
JEANLUC fainted!
EXLAX used EXPLOSION! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Snorlax evolves from Exlax at level seventeen with a Cosbystone
drawing a picture of Snorlax tearfully clicking the unsubscribe button on TaylorSwiftVEVO before snorting coke and wrapping his Lexus around an oak tree while on the way to the strip club
Pokemon Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident
Calvin Harris Returns to Las Vegas Clubs After Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident, Chins Bellhop
Calvin Harris Returns to Las Vegas Clubs After Taylor Swift Split and Car Accident
An image purporting to show a young woman who was beaten by people protesting a Donald Trump rally is actually a still from a Mexican telenovela
and I hope you like jamaharon too, Mister Data
guessing that jamaharon is basically a blumpkin
having cat with a toblerone glued to it sex with agent fifty seven
wanting to give Kento's beard a fluffer for his birthday
IT'S SAD WHEN YOU BRAG ABOUT YOUR PET STEGOSAURUS TO FRIENDS AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY FRIENDS AND YOU'VE GLUED A TOBLERONE TO THE CAT
the men of the Ninth Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun
using Taylor Swift's bathroom and noticing a pair of paddle rests
using Taylor Swift's bathroom and noticing a pair of stepladders
bottoming for Taylor Shaft in Bad Blood
shaving Taylor Swift's minute pussy but accidentally getting clam salt in a nick
putting your money on a small cat
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "mall scat"
my money is on a small cat
not being sure what is in the box marked "small cat"
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "tiny tiger"
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "small cat"
ruining Taylor Swift's sanitary napkin with an unsanitary razor blade
using your parents' bathroom and noticing a box marked "clam salt"
ruining your sanitary napkin with an unsanitary razor blade
ruining your sanitary napkin with an unsanitary knife and fork
marketing a line of bluetooth ready smart sanitary napkins called iPads
Trying to make my own Crunch, Trying to get Crunch, Eating Crunch, if you know what I mean
Trying to make my own Crunch, Trying to get Crunch, Eating Crunch
Sugawara alleged that after four years of purchasing the product she had only recently discovered to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly colored cereal balls
finding Nemo in bed with your girlfriend
putting salt on your girlfriend's crotch to see if her clam will lick it FINDING NEMO like in those gifs
wondering if YouTube would have a renaissance period after rebranding as YoloTube
putting salt on your girlfriend's crotch to see if her clam will lick it up like in those gifs
seeing a bearded clam riding a dick
seeing a naked chick riding a clam
milk, milk, chocolate milk, around the corner chocolate's made
drawing a picture of Count Chocula peeing on Cap'n Crunch's scalp while Tony the Tiger takes a dump on his chest
seriously considering crossing berry varieties to produce something which can legitimately be called "crunchberries", just to fuck with Cap'n Crunch and or posterity
The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, claimed she had purchased the cereal Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries because she believed "crunchberries" indicated she was eating real fruit
Gay Daddy Turd Ad, eh
Daddy Daughter Day
Upper Sandusky
looking her right in the eye, smiling as she smiles back and saying "I'll see you next week" in mouse voice
Canadian Soccer Viols, Eh
Canadian School Service
Canadian Slit Shavers
working for the CSS
shaving slits for gym, eh
topping for Will Smith in Anali
electroplating my pennies for this
shelving my legos for this
having my legos for this
shafting Ryan privately
the death of Muhammad Ali
I mean shit, if you want it to be a bicep it needs more veins
look at my African American over here
saving Private Ryan for this
shaving Candlejack for this fu
shaving my LEGUMES for this
fu
shaving my nuts for this
of
drawing a picture Taylor Davis Baker cheating on her husbands with John Astin
Taylor Swift, Warwick Davis, and Kenny Baker 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
even a BENT clock is gay twice a day
even a walking clock is FULLY FUNCTIONAL twice a day
even a straight clock is gay twice a day
shaving Taylor Swift's privates for this
shaving Taylor Swift's head for this
shaving Taylor Swift's legs for this
Kivas Fajo stole Lieutenant Commander Data to be used as a walking clock
we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time, honk honk
tasting so good you make a dead man cum
Kivas Fajo stole Lieutenant Commander Data to be used as a walking dildo
solving a problem like Maria
tasting so good you make a grown man cry
hoping Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill all die within a few days
Time to go on ebay and buy hidden cams
even a gay clock is straight twice a day
hoping Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill all die within a few days of one another so that you can use that "they DO move in herds!" line for like, a year afterwards
this is the most heterosexual day we've had in years
a Texas town is taking selfies over a statue that depicts two girls doing Myke Hawke
a Texas town is taking selfies over a statue that depicts two girls dividing Myke Hawke
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two girls taking Myke Hawke
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two midgets shaving Myke Hawke for a selfie
it's like you suggesting I won the Myke Harke waffle
it's like you suggesting I won the Myke Hawke raffle
a Texas town is divided over a statue that depicts two girls taking a selfie
shaving Myke Hawke for this
it's like you suggesting I won the chook raffle
shaving my legs for this
By having all the men in the village shoot arrows into her body, the village men, embodiments of Morning Star, were symbolically mating with her
having a sudden craving for orange fudge
the Gilbert Gottfried Navel Orange Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Navel Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Naval Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Fudge Tunnel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Channel
the Gilbert Gottfried Fourth Base Tunnel
the Gotthard FOURTH Base Tunnel
the Gotthard Base Tunnel
bottoming for Hillary Clinton in Capitol Knockers VII
A young girl from South Los Angeles tries to make it to the National Spelling Bee
capitol knockers
capital knockers, madam
seeing Red Tails and wanting to paint them black
Dallas ISD fifth grade boys are seeing Red Tails right now, but girls were excluded
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific RIOT of knockers
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific TRIO of knockers
that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific pair of knockers
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
spooning Rosanna Arquette's Babs
all the Blake Edwards' in Springfield are SOB's
I want to fuck you like a Jedi, from a certain point of view
I want to funk you like a grand railroad
I want to yiff you like a human
I want to thread your bizarre, striated, earthwormlike penis through my insides
I want to orally service you like an Ikeda
masturbating with your cut off thumb
The actor who played Ugly Naked Guy was Jon Haugen, who was picked from a group of extras
Scientists working in the Austrian Alps discover that a glacier is leaking a liquid that appears to be affecting local wildlife
an American series of children's computer animated films featuring anthropomorphic fruits and vegetables in stories conveying moral themes based on Christianity
I want to fuck you like REX HARRISON
I want to fuck you like a pushmepullyou
Jon Haugen
Luke's hand once again refuses to be turned and the Emperor's foot attacks him with the Force, causing Luke's hand to lose its thumb
Newton has become the "patron saint" of the International Anal Karate Petunia Kill Day
LEIBNIZ has become the "patron saint" of the annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day
deconstructed flat white
Newton has become the "patron saint" of the annual International Talk Like a Pirate Day
trying to see it my way, do I have to keep on talking 'till I can't go on
I'm not your gay buddy
after
we should probably discuss that
we're buddies still not knowing who the top is and who the bottom is in a blow job and not knowing any gays you are comfortable enough with to ask
we're buddies
still not knowing who the top is and who the bottom is in a blow job and not knowing any gays you are comfortable enough with to ask
you cannot deny that A equals anal
that when you say "A orally serviced B" it means that B put his penis in A's mouth, but when you say "A anally serviced B" it means that A put his penis in B's ass, at least according to your understanding of the terms
a group of unwanted vegetables, fruits, legumes and nuts who were swept to the corner of a shop but ran away together and set up home in and around an old, forgotten garden shed
the King of Fatworld Queens, starring a skeletal Kevin James and his hot three quarter ton wife
having never reached a consensus on whether men in fatworld are obese, normal, or whatever
wondering if Fatworld Mark Wahlberg used to go by Marquee Mark and the Funky Lunch
bull willies
this guy's original, he's got the juice
we're bullies
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since this morning
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
You won't be thrilled if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be held if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be kissed if you don't do anything wrong
Donald Trump makes no such promises
You won't be killed if you don't do anything wrong
Their gimmick was that they were two construction workers turned wrestlers who wore jeans to the ring, and that Kanyon would cause the team to suffer losses by taking measurements with his tape measure at inopportune times
lundi forte et dure
peine forte et dure
topping for Donald Rump in Make America Gay Again VII
Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
Donald Trump Pleasures Bikers at Rolling Thunder Rally
He liked them and promised to use them every day until he didn't
Nuddie Naked Lady Golf Tees
Wolfsdonger
Donald Trump and Bikers Share Affection at Rolling Thunder Rally
Scrotum pultibus praegravatus
there is general complaint that they are nowadays exposed more to kids than to dongness
there is general complaint that they are nowadays exposed more to dogs than to kindness
Wolfskinder
Marie Angelique Memmie Le Blanc
Scotorum pultibus praegravatus
it was reported that the goat had died, having choked on a plastic bag
The former chief executive of Zurich Insurance has killed himself, the company said, less than three years after its chief financial officer killed himself
now I can drink milk EVERY DAY
until now, this was the only way to get tortillas from dough
flatev
bottoming for Daniel Gay Lewis in There Will Be Blood, Like Seriously, Even If You're Into Rough Stuff There's Probably Going to Be Too Much Blood For Your Liking VII
Damn Daniel I Wish I Was Your Lover Day Lewis
Damn Daniel Day Lewis
Kento, Son of Go
the death of Harambe
bondacious bodage
bodage
having bodage, latex, and Wham! fetishes, jitterbug
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Polar Bears on the Northern Yukon River, Scientists Say
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Coral on the Northern Great Barrier Reef, If You Know What I Mean, Scientists Say
Bleaching May Have Killed Half the Coral on the Northern Great Barrier Reef, Scientists Say
having a policy of not trusting anybody who cannot laugh like Muttley
the terrifying prospect of being governed by people who think life is like the Wacky Races and what some people need is a good boulder dropped on their heads to sort them out
All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy AND a dead girl and we are away
they cum for you
dead boys dead boys, what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they cum for you
dead boys are out of the question
All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy or a dead girl and we are away
ohhh
new offensive colin pokemon
seeing the headline "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon spokesman" and reading it as "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon pokemon"
livetweeting the death of tiny tiger
livetweeting the death of integrity
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
on the bright side, not having to choose between a homeless transsexual prostitute or a septuagenarian sado polyamorist blowhard and his team of WAM bondage sex walruses
don't even THINK about Jewel, she's mine
having to give up your bachelor ways and choose between Elly Astin, Rachel Stevens' arse, and Fatworld Natalie Portman
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam
it was good
I don't mind
fucking up an anagram and it looks like you cheated
wondering what kind of jackass interrupts their Sunday morning cunnilingus ritual to write anagrams
Myke Hawke the Marmalizer
cheating on an anagram
wondering whether a card which simply reads "You are my scanty clam, eh" would be a good idea
wishing that The Lobster were a documentary and you could be a pony or a walrus or something instead of having to worry about dating
wondering whether a card which simply reads "You are my last chance" would be a good idea
KFC at the Bat
Elon Musk the Marmalizer
struggling to ask out someone who is clearly into you but writing horrible things about ponies and dildos and poop and whatnot at the drop of a hat
drawing a picture of Dr Julius Hibbert blowing a pony
Darth Lickjob
giving Dr Hibbert a hot horse meat infusion
Darth Insanius
Darth Icky
Elon Musk, Jedi Knight
Dicky Mick the Marmalizer
Dicky Mint, Mick the Marmalizer, Stephen "Titch" Doyle, Little Evan, Hamish McDiddy, Nigel Ponsonby Smallpiece, Nicky Nugget, Sid Short and Smarty Arty
drawing a picture of P Diddy smoking French Stewart's cigarettes while Brent Spiner bakes him cakes
smoking his cigarettes and baking him cakes
way down yonder on the Chattahoochee It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie
drawing a picture of P Diddy peeing on French Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
R Kelly, P Diddy and Kelly Rowland announce new supergroup, DPRK
R Kelly, P Diddy and Kelly Rowland announce new supergroup, P Kelly
Pokemon Clive and Elmo
raping Kurt Cobain in the butt when you were a kid
weakly muttering "I like your hair" instead of boldly declaring her prettier than ever
Depp insists that he intended no harm and was merely rehearsing for Tim Burton's upcoming creepy adaptation of Casey at the Bat
Johnny then grabbed the cellphone, wound up his arm like a baseball pitcher and threw the cellphone at me striking my cheek and eye with great force
Scooter devises a plan to fake his own kidnapping to get his parents' attention and enlists the help of two bumbling crooks, Clive and Elmo
giving the chariot to R Kelly and Tom Cruise
being trapped in TWO closets
Pokemon Scrotumburg and Anusville
The prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville
Raymond Robinson
DeVito voiced the Grundle King in My Little Pony Colon The Movie
bottoming for Brent R Penis in I, FULLY FUNCTIONAL Robot
drawing a picture of Brent Spiner shitting on Will Smith's chest
topping for Will Smith in I, FULLY FUNCTIONAL Robot
topping for Will Smith in Seven Pounds VII
topping for Will Smith in I, Robottom
topping for Will Smith in Bitch
topping for Will Smith in Handcock
topping for Will Smith in The Legend of Bugger Vance
topping for Will Smith in Asshurt Girth
topping for Will Smith in Where the Gay Takes You
topping for Will Smith in Intheanus Gay
topping for Will Smith in The Pursuit of a Penis
topping for Will Smith in The Legend of Teabagger Vance
Duchess of Cambridge to be Vogue cover star, guest editor of Skeletons and Skeletonnage Weekly
topping for Will Smith in The Dirty Prince of Cum Hair VII
Women in Black Thigh Highs
topping for Will Smith in In Black Men III
wondering when we're going to get the inevitable Women in Black reboot
Mermaid Island UK Vs The Plesiosaurs, Cheerio
Mermaid Island USA Vs The Plesiosaurs
Pokemon French and Patrick
Pokemon Brisket and Hotdogs
Pokemon Scavenged Tubers and Roadkill
I love Hispanics!
What happens is the judge, who happens to be, we believe, Mexican, which is great, I think that's fine
after the break, the amateur chefs take on the hosts in a Jamaican cooking contest we like to call "Jerk Myke Hawke Off"
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast French Stewart as a Patrickman
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Gayman
just now reflecting on how utterly ridiculous it was to cast Patrick Stewart as a Frenchman
after the break, the amateur chefs take on the hosts in a burger contest we like to call "Flip Myke Hawke Off"
they could make it into a reality show called Cook Myke Hawke Off
wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
wishing Myke Hawke were here
wishing Ruth England were here
wishing you were a walrus
wishing Chris Lydon were here
wishing Nerd Baby didn't want any more bears
wishing Matt were queer
wishing stoveOVEN were here
being stuck in the closet with you
wishing Kento were dead
wishing rachel were here
wishing agent fiftyseven were here
wishing Bicoid Babe were here
feature dancer Jared Fogel
featuring Jared Fogel
wanting to make Ezra a Stuffwich for his birthday
The Stuffwich ads featuring Ezra are a reference to the Subway ads featuring Jared Fogel
Thunder Butte
the Iron Confectionary
the Iron Confederacy
horribly degloving Sting
honorably fingering Sting
The sexual act of a man or woman putting thier entire head into a vagina
this is a Canada Cheeseburger, eh
honestly stinging, fuck
dishonestly fucking Sting
honestly fucking Sting
this is a California Cheeseburger
honestly, fuck Sting
this is a rat burger
you really licked his ass
loving D'C'Naaa
pitching Demolition Man II, a Galaxy Quest style story in which Sylvester Stallone has been frozen for making Judge Dredd, Sandra Bullock has been frozen for Speed II, and Wesley Snipes has been frozen for tax evasion and all those shitty movies he made
how much funnier Demolition Man's premise would be if the main character was a fictionalized version of Sylvester Stallone, placed in cryogenic suspension as punishment for making Judge Dredd
being trapped in the closet AS IT FALLS THROUGH THE ICE OF A FROZEN LAKE
being closet tit parped, eh
that Roman Polanski's girlfriend's tenth birthday is this Monday
being trapped in the water closet
that the regret index's tenth birthday is this Monday
being trapped in the closet
The factors that determine the hierarchy are based on the size of the tusks, the overall size of the walrus, and aggressive measures
O, Canada, your skin just came right off
degloving Canada
glove loving Canada
tiny white ranger tiger power
white rape regret grin, ow
white ranger tiger power
The Pentagon's Huge Atomic Floppies
wondering how putting on aftershave could POSSIBLY compensate for having diamondless shoes
Aaahh!!! Real Assholes
wanting to make Kento a real asshole for his birthday last year
wondering how the walrus order is determined, whether its by age, weight, length, girth, stamina, or what
bottoming for Mark Sniffer in Panty Raid at Google House VII
sniffing panties
genuinely enjoying a lot of the performances in Synchronicity, but enjoying Sting's most of all
A panty raid is underway at Google House
time travel made that guy a real asshole
genuinely enjoying a lot of the performances in Synchronicity, but enjoying Scott Poythress' most of all
really enjoying Scott Poythress' performance in Synchronicity
a Native American orgy
huffing CONCENTRATED INFRARED TEN
huffing disperse red nine
marking sniffers
sniffing markers
Pokemon Peeing and Pooing
Pokemon Spot, Livingston, and Worf's unnamed targ
Pokemon Spot, Bootbrush and Kaz
Spot, Bootbrush and Kaz open up about their community
tonight there's going to be a roofie, somewhere in this meal
A rape is underway at Cosby's
A raid is underway at Kento's
you'll with fear to bottom
jackdaws
I seriously don't know how that last regret came out like that, it doesn't even resemble what I had in my head
I'll with fear to bottom
I'm filled to the top with fear
Kentoculus Fissure
New York Today Colon Ahoy, Sailors!
dat boi!!!!
The East Texas woman who claimed President Obama was a drug addicted gay prostitute in his youth was defeated in a Republican primary runoff election Tuesday, losing her bid to become one of the top education officials in Texas
tonight there's going to be a gay old time, somewhere in the Boston Aquarium
tonight there's going to be a gay old time, somewhere in Bedrock
A raffle is underway at Google's
the death of Myke Kwouke
you put the lime in the finger cut, you drink 'em both together
cutting your finger and getting lime juice in the cat
cutting your finger and getting lime juice in the cut
Kento is the one in the middle!
Eric is the one in the middle!
"Luke, the ground here on Endor is too full of roots to dig and there's a lot of Vader's remains left to dispose of, an open fire isn't a great method of cremation," said Han "Let's take him down to the riverbank and bury him in the sandbank" replied Luke
tonight there's going to be a raid, somewhere in this internet
A raid is underway at Google's
the death of Burt Kwouk
'cause if my eyes don't deceive me, there's something going wrong around here
Kento's milkshake brings all the walruses to the water park, and they're like, "orf", damn right, "orf"
Melania Trump's frightening lips
assface depot, eh
Star Wars Colon Episode IX Colon The Sad Space Foe
the sad space foe
the ace of spades
googling Johnny Carson's sex tape in Reno just to watch him fuck
Johnny Sexcans
The Curious Sex Cans of Johnny Carson
that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher
taping Johnny Carson's sex can just because you google
you must have had to beat off a lot of American men to get this part
taping Johnny Carson's sex google just because you can
that one time that you masturbated so much you ended up with exertional rhabdomyolysis
googling Johnny Carson's sex tape just because you can
that one time that you drank so much you ended up with exertional rhabdomyolysis
rhabdomyolysis
Anal Lad on John
Joanna Holland
the restaurant owned by me, Chuck Norris, Johnny Carson's third wife, and the Russian Mafia
wanting to make Kento a meat pie for his birthday and then eat it
eating Kento's meat pie
meating Kento's pa
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in CHAOS
meating the pa
Northern of the Ehpes
eating the map
being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order
being the pam
Porno of the Apes
Western of the Apes
Plantagenets of the Apes
Playboy of the Apes
wondering how many Planet of the Apes movies they will make before the apes are building their own smartphones and someone threatens to make a spin off sitcom about three loveless apes in the city and their kooky human servant
smelling sex and candy in the windowless van behind Steak n Shake
getting a dump job from Brent Spiner in the quarters behind Ten Forward
getting a lick job from Michelle Obama in the dumpster behind the White House
genuinely wondering why there isn't a Planet Rapes chain of theme restaurants, at the very least within popular theme parks, what are they thinking
the theory that Michelle Obama is a transvestite who murdered Joan Rivers
genuinely wondering why there isn't a Planet Apes chain of theme restaurants, at the very least within popular theme parks, what are they thinking
being the map
fuck, Daniel
Danieldore damns
singeing yourself singing happy birthday to you to a half blocked up tuyere
devil's own swans
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
damning the torpedoes, Daniel
yankee Daniel
damning Daniel if you do and damning Daniel if you don't
dentally damning Daniel
dentally damming Daniel
damming Daniel
damning Daniel
Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the windowless vans!
windowless vans
this is spinal kick
getting kicked in the NORTH
getting kicked in the penis
getting kicked in the THORN
getting kicked in the spine
it's just weird that there's all these apes in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes having a fight with police and nobody even tries the teargas
that's really racist
the Planet of the Apes scenario being completely avoidable so long as police forces have access to teargas
PGThirteen Violence of the Planet of the Apes
Cheap Reused Footage of the Planet of the Apes
Gollum of the Planet of the Apes
Tron of the Planet of the Apes
arresting her left one until she had a California bathroom waffle
Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre
you don't know that
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Carrie Fisher's dog Gary Fisher
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jaimee Foxworth's child Crave Foxworth
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jamie Foxx's child Redd Foxx
Biblical Baby Mamas
RIP Will Smith
LIVING Will Smith is now older than James Avery was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Will Smith is now older than James Avery was at the beginning of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Pokemon Stunningly Self Important But Numbingly Empty Cocktail of Romance and Insulting Refugee Porn
Penn threatened to tie his critics to a chair and subject them to hours of degrading sexual torture, just like he did to his then wife Madonna
stunningly self important but numbingly empty cocktail of romance and insulting refugee porn
Polly Wog Stew
Colon Rep Foxx Geldof, Jedi Knight
Colon Rep Foxx
Katie Holmes is not pregnant with Jamie Foxx's child Colon Rep
seriously considering moving to France and starting a tour guide business under the name Benjamin Buttocks but knowing Brexit would immediately happen if you did
there's always room for batteries
every now and then falling apart
Bill Cosby's three sexual batteries
ironically sleeping through a period of broken 'dex on a night that doesn't matter but being awake all the next night for no good reason at all when it does matter
Playboy's Hugh Hefner deposed in Bill Cosby's sexual battery lawsuit, lawyer says
that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more
pee, Earl Gay, hot
Star Trek Colon The Next Lemon Party
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Brent Spiner takes a dump on his chest
make it so
referring to your hair as your scalp beard because you're secretly gay for bald
referring to your hair as your scalp beard
the death of Alan Young, I'll chin ye, cheerio, eh, I'm walkin' here
descf cgffee