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Couple Addicted to Coffee Enemas, Up to Four Times a Day?
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recent regrets

the death of Dorothy Stratten opening Mike Knight
Gene Roddenberry's estranged half sister, Belle Bookencandle
fuck marry worship, God, a potato, anything
Rod Roddenberry's estranged half brother, Berry Roddenberry
you have to accept that some people believe in God, some people want to worship a potato, and some people don't want to believe in anything
shaving the genitals of bears with PHOEBE Buchfellner
shaving the genitals of bears with Ursula Buchfellner
the pubes of Dorothy Stratten
British band Bush dedicated the song "Dead Meat" on their album The Science of Things to Stratten
Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her anuse douche
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter is mother of dragons and instead of creating the best meth recipe he gives birth to all the best dragons and also you have even less patience for the show than before
that ass
the breasts of Dorothy Stratten
the acting of Dorothy Stratten
bnpas
pubes
Brookong Bod
Breaking Bad except instead of chemistry Walter teaches driver's ed and instead of creating the best meth recipe he makes talking cars and also his name is Mike Knight
the death of Dorothy Stratten
opening Mike Knight
[ show all 129053 regrets ]

recent comments

(4) that a pretty brunette girl, late teens, stranded on the beach, wearing a becoming bikini bottom, flip flops and sweatshirt, to whom you lent your cell phone to call for a ride, smiled up winningly at you, batted her long lashes, then thanked you as "Sir"
(2) Teen Choice Awards Colon Miley Cyrus explains her absence
(4) something ribald
(4) getting the regret "all of these stupid regrets" but not having a Sometimes button
(1) remembering way back on THIS 'dex when we hit TWENTY thousand regrets and it seemed like an absolutely mindboggling impossible number
(4) having worked with Cambridge undergraduates and graduates for protracted periods and being honestly able to say they aren't as a cohort notably intelligent, just focused on their usually narrow special interests, and expecting the same is true of Harvard
(3) declaring martial law
(1) Secundus likes to screw boys
(1) once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back
(2) liking your women like you like your presidents, black
[ show more ]

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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
forgetting to feed your klinoppe (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
Owen and Mzee (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
tits (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
turtles (0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
breasts (0.0135)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0153)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0476)
breastfeeding (0.0526)
being the real deal (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
boobs (0.0606)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
demanding proof (0.0625)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0714)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
discovering webcomics (0.0769)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
defending the bullied kid (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
playing it loud (0.0769)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0816)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
questioning your sexuality (0.0909)
Digimon (0.0909)
Squirtle (0.0909)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
suckling (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
garlic (0.0909)
kicking it old school (0.0926)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
treehouses (0.0952)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
learning another language (0.0962)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.0968)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
butts (0.0982)
rocking out (0.0988)
less than three (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.1014)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
playing videogames while drunk (0.1048)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1127)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
starting over (0.1143)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
downloading music illegally (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1184)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1250)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
smoking weed (0.1266)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.1304)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
ryan north (0.1308)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
eating goat cheese (0.1333)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
qwantz (0.1356)
kissing her (0.1364)
holding hands (0.1364)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1379)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
lasers (0.1395)
singing along (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
ap classes (0.1413)
taking AP classes (0.1417)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
going to lunch (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.1429)
losing your virginity (0.1429)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1429)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
all those books you read (0.1481)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
breaking the law (0.1522)
going to the gym (0.1524)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1538)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
pie (0.1538)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1556)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
loving Batman (0.1579)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1579)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
Being born (0.1595)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1600)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1605)
reading the regret index (0.1613)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
wikipedia (0.1622)
eating bread (0.1622)
being meat (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
eating her out (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
having roast beef (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
not eating goats for a living (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
cheese (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
sexing her hardcore (0.1786)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
not switching to Geico (0.1786)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
insisting on protection (0.1795)
not smoking (0.1795)
brownies (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
road trips (0.1818)
dancing naked (0.1818)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
'buy one get one free' offers (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
lullabies (0.1818)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
sometimes squishing your own boobs just for the heck of it (0.1818)
hot bondage (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
drawing boobs (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
eating a huge marshmallow (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
hating swans (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
buying food for homeless people (0.1825)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1833)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
fry (0.1842)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
being an alligator (0.1852)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
listening to Beethoven (0.1852)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
going to college (0.1852)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
not joining the military (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
living in the city (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
the metric system (0.1878)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
being a meatatarian (0.1905)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1905)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
eating a noun (0.1905)
bondage (0.1923)
this picture (0.1923)
being afraid of Americans (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
milk (0.1935)
clockwork (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
being in a rad mood (0.1935)
chrono trigger (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
saving up some money (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
choosing adventure over security (0.1964)
signing up for Twitter (0.1983)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2000)
ghosts (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
revealing your nerdiness (0.2000)
how awesome broiling is (0.2000)
dandelion wine (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
donating to public radio (0.2045)
hot snogging (0.2051)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
swallowing (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2086)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
pancakes (0.2105)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
dinosaur wrestling (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
donating (0.2121)
playing chess (0.2121)
switching parties (0.2128)
post it notes (0.2128)
facial hair (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
being the lazer viking (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
standing the test of time (0.2143)
disagreeing with things (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
making your time (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
running with scissors (0.2151)
washing your pet (0.2157)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
having eaten dinner (0.2162)
watching the sunrise (0.2174)
ephemera (0.2174)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.2188)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
playing dress up (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
being too awesome (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
what you did last Friday night (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
being the bee's knees (0.2222)
good times (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2245)
xylophones (0.2250)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2258)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
takin it to the streets (0.2273)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
what happened in vegas (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
optical illusions (0.2292)
sticking with your major (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2308)
going to Spain (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
just wanting a sign (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
your haircut (0.2333)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
log cabin (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
eating babies (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
going to church (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
irony (0.2368)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2373)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
ice cream (0.2381)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
having sexy intestines (0.2381)
studying linguistics (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
penis (0.2407)
orthodontics (0.2407)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2411)
chocolate (0.2414)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
pictures for sad children (0.2432)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2456)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
buying a Wii (0.2471)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
making fun of fat swans (0.2500)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2500)
escaping out the back (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
making pies (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
ever reading books (0.2500)
meeting a possum (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
smoking pot (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
yogurt's laxative properties (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2500)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.2500)
eating a tasty salad (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
tickling her THERE (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
being necessarily clever (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2527)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2527)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2535)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
trying something new (0.2547)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
being (0.2558)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2564)
leaving the farm (0.2564)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
anonymity (0.2571)
The Princess Bride (0.2581)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2593)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
white text on a dark background (0.2593)
ATM machines (0.2609)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2609)
tapirs (0.2609)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
making love above the pub (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
starting that fire (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
having known love (0.2619)
sexuality (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
polygamy (0.2632)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2632)
your twisted desires (0.2632)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
going commando (0.2632)
eating tofu (0.2634)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
coconut bras (0.2667)
that all you know about Final Fantasy, you learned from a friend who really liked it when you were teenagers (0.2667)
mocha (0.2667)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2667)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
Dresden Codak (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
not having tiny brown birds live behind your air conditioner (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
eating food that fell on the ground (0.2667)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
crowdsurfing (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
Wagner (0.2692)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
going to graduate school (0.2697)
your First Time (0.2698)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
private school (0.2703)
everything (0.2708)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
having Clue in your list of Top Ten Favorite Movies of All Time (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
agreeing to casual sex with that hot friend who looks like that one movie star (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
gyrating your leatherwrapped genitals in the faces of those Japanese schoolchildren (0.2727)
eating something you found on the ground or floor (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2727)
changing your name (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
eating skinless breasts (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
tagging the Wikipedia article on irony as "contradicts itself" (0.2727)
spooning (0.2727)
the simpsons (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
watching Borat (0.2734)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
the final countdown (0.2745)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
opening the windows (0.2759)
eating macademia nuts (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
fasting (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
having that threesome (0.2766)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
being Ryan (0.2778)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
the moon (0.2778)
eating that last cookie (0.2778)
being a socialist (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
walruses (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2778)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2791)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2791)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
taking the boat (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
doing acid (0.2813)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
puppy dawgs (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
selling myself to science (0.2821)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2847)
using drugs (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
vowels (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
loving songs that have really depressing lyrics to go along with a happy beat (0.2857)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
winter (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
the ventures (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
not telling your parents (0.2857)
globalisation (0.2857)
not having a penis (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2857)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2857)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2872)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
thinking that the dude in the header of this website is kinda cute (0.2895)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2895)
going POOP (0.2895)
watching House (0.2897)
gazing (0.2917)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
not getting circumcised (0.2917)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
tackling her (0.2927)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
the flowers that bloom in the spring (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
being a child once (0.2941)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
taking it all off (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2960)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
living drug free (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
eating some vittles (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2973)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.3000)
believing in god (0.3000)
stealing Tucksworth's hamburger (0.3000)
looking through all the old regrets you made, using the cache (0.3000)
stuffing that lawyer in the fridge (0.3000)
the bird being a word (0.3000)
living on the edge (0.3000)
not thinking xkcd should get as much grief as it does (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
that everybody's footloose (0.3000)
getting milk faced and humming like rabbits (0.3000)
Friends (0.3000)
white type on a black background (0.3010)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (0.3019)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]