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will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe?
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recent regrets

fuck marry kill, Courteney Cox's head on Jai Courtney's body, Jai Courtney's head on Courteney Cox's body, Courteney Cox except she has Jai Courtney's cock
fuck marry kill, Anne Boleyn, Mary Boleyn, Anne of Cleves
fuck marry kill, a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft, a Celtic homosexual with Mary, Queen of Scots, a guy named "Bill Choker" with David Carradine
fucking a boat made from an old printer with HP Lovecraft
minimalist, but also complex, emotionally raw, but still able to push the boundaries of what music can be
Jai Courtney, Hogwarts squash champion
Rowntrees Condoms, Hogwarts sex ed teacher
the death of Rowntrees Condoms so Jai Courtney would get famous
Rowntrees Condoms
wondering who had to die so Jai Courtney would get famous
I doubt that Joaquin Phoenix would have become famous if River Phoenix hadn't died, it's the Ted Kennedy Effect
imagining all the awful movies Joaquin Phoenix and River Phoenix could have made together
drawing a picture of Johnny Depp playing Samwise Gamgee like a slide whistle
that there is apparently a parallel universe where Johnny Depp never gave River Phoenix the drugs that killed him and he went on to play Samwise Gamgee
The Guardian suggested in two thousand three "it was likely that Phoenix would have followed Interview with the Vampire by appearing as Susan Sarandon's son in Safe Passage", a role that went to Sean Astin
mishearing Amber Disassemble
both, he's a very violent man
wondering whether Johnny Depp is kicking Jonathan Frakes's nuts or Patrick Stewart's
drawing a picture of Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's scalp while Johnny Depp kicks him in the nuts
taking the most violent Number II
[ show all 127375 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) Man Eats CCLV Peeps in V Minutes
(2) wondering what they put in the nonvegan olive oil
(2) fuck marry kill LaVar Ball, Lucille Ball, Ed Balls
(3) fuck marry kill, only weirdly cropped, pitchbent Family Guy clips in your YouTube suggestions forever no matter what you do, blowing a guy but he jizzes diamonds & you get to keep the diamonds, spooning Jewel's boobs but also having to spoon Rob Schneider
(9) wondering whether you would rather have your penis removed entirely or get to keep it but have pain every time you get an erection
(1) fuck marry kill, Myke Hawke, Bear Grylls, James Wesley, Rawles
(1) those times when you have a really intense, meaningful dream, and you try to explain it to other people but it comes out looking boring and retarded
(1) seriously wondering whether Bryan Adams knows how to pronounce 'Porsche'
(1) Buttadeus
(6) will no one rid me of this meddlesome prifefe
[ show more ]

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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

twats (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
Owen and Mzee (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
tits (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
turtles (0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
breasts (0.0135)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0153)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0476)
breastfeeding (0.0526)
being the real deal (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
boobs (0.0606)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
demanding proof (0.0625)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0714)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.0714)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
discovering webcomics (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
defending the bullied kid (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
playing it loud (0.0769)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0816)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
questioning your sexuality (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
garlic (0.0909)
suckling (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
Squirtle (0.0909)
Digimon (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0918)
kicking it old school (0.0926)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
treehouses (0.0952)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
learning another language (0.0962)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.0968)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.0982)
rocking out (0.0988)
butts (0.0991)
less than three (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
playing videogames while drunk (0.1048)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1127)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
starting over (0.1143)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
downloading music illegally (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1184)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1250)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
smoking weed (0.1266)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.1304)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
ryan north (0.1308)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
eating goat cheese (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
qwantz (0.1356)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
kissing her (0.1364)
holding hands (0.1364)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
singing along (0.1395)
lasers (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
ap classes (0.1413)
taking AP classes (0.1417)
losing your virginity (0.1429)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.1429)
going to lunch (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
all those books you read (0.1481)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1500)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
breaking the law (0.1522)
going to the gym (0.1524)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1538)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
pie (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1556)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1579)
loving Batman (0.1579)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
Being born (0.1595)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1600)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
reading the regret index (0.1613)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
being meat (0.1622)
wikipedia (0.1622)
eating bread (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
having roast beef (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
eating her out (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1667)
just wanting a sign (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
not eating goats for a living (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
cheese (0.1667)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
sexing her hardcore (0.1786)
not switching to Geico (0.1786)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
insisting on protection (0.1795)
not smoking (0.1795)
lullabies (0.1818)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
drawing boobs (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
'buy one get one free' offers (0.1818)
brownies (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
road trips (0.1818)
sometimes squishing your own boobs just for the heck of it (0.1818)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
hot bondage (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
dancing naked (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
eating a huge marshmallow (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
buying food for homeless people (0.1825)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1833)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
fry (0.1842)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
listening to Beethoven (0.1852)
being an alligator (0.1852)
standing the test of time (0.1852)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
going to college (0.1852)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
living in the city (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
not joining the military (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
the metric system (0.1878)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1905)
being a meatatarian (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
eating a noun (0.1905)
bondage (0.1923)
this picture (0.1923)
being afraid of Americans (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
milk (0.1935)
clockwork (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
being in a rad mood (0.1935)
chrono trigger (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
having eaten dinner (0.1944)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
saving up some money (0.1951)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
choosing adventure over security (0.1964)
signing up for Twitter (0.1983)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.2000)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2000)
washing your pet (0.2000)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
ghosts (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2000)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
how awesome broiling is (0.2000)
dandelion wine (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
revealing your nerdiness (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
donating to public radio (0.2045)
hot snogging (0.2051)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
swallowing (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2083)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2086)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
pancakes (0.2105)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
dinosaur wrestling (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
playing chess (0.2121)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
donating (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
post it notes (0.2128)
switching parties (0.2128)
chocolate (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2143)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
being the lazer viking (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
disagreeing with things (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
facial hair (0.2143)
making your time (0.2143)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
running with scissors (0.2151)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2174)
watching the sunrise (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
ephemera (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.2188)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
good times (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
playing dress up (0.2222)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
being the bee's knees (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
what you did last Friday night (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
being too awesome (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2245)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
xylophones (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
takin it to the streets (0.2273)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
what happened in vegas (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
optical illusions (0.2292)
sticking with your major (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
going to Spain (0.2308)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
your haircut (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
log cabin (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
eating babies (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2353)
going to church (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2364)
irony (0.2368)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2373)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
studying linguistics (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
ice cream (0.2381)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
orthodontics (0.2407)
penis (0.2407)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2411)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
pictures for sad children (0.2432)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2444)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2456)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
buying a Wii (0.2471)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
having sexy intestines (0.2500)
escaping out the back (0.2500)
tickling her THERE (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
ever reading books (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
meeting a possum (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
making pies (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.2500)
smoking pot (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
yogurt's laxative properties (0.2500)
making fun of fat swans (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
eating a tasty salad (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
being necessarily clever (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2527)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2535)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
trying something new (0.2547)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
being (0.2558)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
leaving the farm (0.2564)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
anonymity (0.2571)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
The Princess Bride (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2593)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
the final countdown (0.2600)
ATM machines (0.2609)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
making love above the pub (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
tapirs (0.2609)
starting that fire (0.2619)
having known love (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
going commando (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
your twisted desires (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
polygamy (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
sexuality (0.2632)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
eating tofu (0.2634)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
Dresden Codak (0.2667)
eating food that fell on the ground (0.2667)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
coconut bras (0.2667)
not having tiny brown birds live behind your air conditioner (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2667)
that all you know about Final Fantasy, you learned from a friend who really liked it when you were teenagers (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2667)
mocha (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
crowdsurfing (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
Wagner (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2692)
white text on a dark background (0.2692)
going to graduate school (0.2697)
your First Time (0.2698)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
private school (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
everything (0.2708)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
agreeing to casual sex with that hot friend who looks like that one movie star (0.2727)
the simpsons (0.2727)
spooning (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
halving a seventeen inch long penis (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
having Clue in your list of Top Ten Favorite Movies of All Time (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
changing your name (0.2727)
eating something you found on the ground or floor (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
tagging the Wikipedia article on irony as "contradicts itself" (0.2727)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
gyrating your leatherwrapped genitals in the faces of those Japanese schoolchildren (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
drawing a picture of Kento being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus (0.2727)
eating skinless breasts (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
watching Borat (0.2734)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
eating macademia nuts (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
fasting (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
opening the windows (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
having that threesome (0.2766)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2778)
eating that last cookie (0.2778)
the moon (0.2778)
being a socialist (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
walruses (0.2778)
being Ryan (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2791)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2791)
taking the boat (0.2800)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2800)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
doing acid (0.2813)
puppy dawgs (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2813)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
selling myself to science (0.2821)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2847)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
not having a penis (0.2857)
loving songs that have really depressing lyrics to go along with a happy beat (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2857)
globalisation (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
the ventures (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
winter (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
using drugs (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
not telling your parents (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2857)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2857)
vowels (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2872)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
thinking that the dude in the header of this website is kinda cute (0.2895)
going POOP (0.2895)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2895)
watching House (0.2897)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
gazing (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2917)
not getting circumcised (0.2917)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
tackling her (0.2927)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
taking it all off (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
being a child once (0.2941)
the flowers that bloom in the spring (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2960)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
living drug free (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
eating some vittles (0.2963)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2973)
getting milk faced and humming like rabbits (0.3000)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
believing in god (0.3000)
that everybody's footloose (0.3000)
stuffing that lawyer in the fridge (0.3000)
living on the edge (0.3000)
Friends (0.3000)
the bird being a word (0.3000)
not thinking xkcd should get as much grief as it does (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)
looking through all the old regrets you made, using the cache (0.3000)
stealing Tucksworth's hamburger (0.3000)
decimating this pie (0.3000)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]