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recent regrets

it's gonna be big
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a dick named Darkwang
ils chantent, ils dansent, ils jouent la comedie
Star Trek Colon Tactical Assault
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a duck named Darkwing
A new game, simply titled Star Trek Colon Broken Mirror, is being developed primarily by a man named Darkwing
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Half Hawaiian Pizza
accidentally thinking there was something called Harry Potter and the Half Blood Pizza
John Barron's body lies a mouldering in the grave
old timey westerns and cop shows but every time someone says "throw it on the ground" they're dubbed with "put 'em on the glass" instead
LlamaTORQUE
John Barron's body
Llamathrust
pulling out correction, Smurfette can't be in eleven places at once
there are no easy things in this world, except Kento, and even then, you have to be around or otherwise experience Kento, which is kind of difficult if you're not a walrus
pulling out
correction, Smurfette can't be in eleven places at once
Smurfette can't be in two places at once
wondering how Handy Smurf got his name
handy
[ show all 136048 regrets ]

recent comments

(2) wondering whether Grover's carpet matches his drapes
(4) that you'll probably see Twelve Inch Jar Jar Binks next week
(1) X Men Burgers and Fries
(1) that regret number twenty nine on the old regret index was "X Men Three" with a hyphen between X and Men but it can't be replicated because hyphens are not allowed now
(3) living in sin
(3) drawing a picture of Kento being Bussard ramscooped by Geordie and Scottie
(1) only having one cup
(2) getting out of my dreams and into Myke Hawke
(1) I think you'll find it's unfeasibly large Richards actually
(1) drawing a picture of Eminem fellating Grand Moff Tarkin who evacuates his bowels in his "moment of triumph" if you know what I mean
[ show more ]

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top regrets

the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
your dyslexia flaring up (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
keeping Harry Mason alive through a whole game, only to have him go and get killed off in another game without you being able to do anything about it (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
Owen and Mzee (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
not eating out Kento (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
tits (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
turtles (0.0004)
breasts (0.0135)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0153)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0182)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
being the real deal (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
demanding proof (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0714)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
boobs (0.0746)
discovering webcomics (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0769)
playing it loud (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
doing Harambe jokes eighteen months later (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0816)
defending the bullied kid (0.0820)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
Digimon (0.0870)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
Squirtle (0.0909)
suckling (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
garlic (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0909)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
kicking it old school (0.0926)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0952)
treehouses (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
learning another language (0.0962)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.0968)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
butts (0.0982)
rocking out (0.0988)
less than three (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
breastfeeding (0.1000)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.1014)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
playing videogames while drunk (0.1048)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
downloading music illegally (0.1111)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1127)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1184)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
starting over (0.1206)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
smoking weed (0.1266)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
ryan north (0.1308)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.1333)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
qwantz (0.1356)
holding hands (0.1364)
kissing her (0.1364)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1379)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
singing along (0.1395)
lasers (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
ap classes (0.1413)
taking AP classes (0.1417)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
going to lunch (0.1429)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
all those books you read (0.1481)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
going to the gym (0.1524)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1538)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.1538)
pie (0.1538)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1579)
loving Batman (0.1579)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1579)
breaking the law (0.1583)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
Being born (0.1595)
losing your virginity (0.1600)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1600)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1605)
wikipedia (0.1622)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
being meat (0.1622)
eating bread (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
eating her out (0.1667)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
having roast beef (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
not eating goats for a living (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
questioning your sexuality (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
cheese (0.1667)
reading the regret index (0.1680)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1739)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1765)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
not switching to Geico (0.1786)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1786)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
drawing boobs (0.1818)
eating a huge marshmallow (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
road trips (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
having jiggly boobs (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1818)
brownies (0.1818)
'buy one get one free' offers (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
sometimes squishing your own boobs just for the heck of it (0.1818)
fry (0.1826)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1833)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
being an alligator (0.1852)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
eating goat cheese (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
not joining the military (0.1875)
living in the city (0.1875)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
the metric system (0.1878)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
buying food for homeless people (0.1890)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1905)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
being a meatatarian (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
bondage (0.1923)
this picture (0.1923)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
being afraid of Americans (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
milk (0.1935)
being in a rad mood (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
chrono trigger (0.1935)
clockwork (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
saving up some money (0.1951)
going to college (0.1951)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
choosing adventure over security (0.1964)
signing up for Twitter (0.1983)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
not smoking (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.2000)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
ghosts (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
revealing your nerdiness (0.2000)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
disagreeing with things (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
insisting on protection (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
donating to public radio (0.2045)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
hot snogging (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
lullabies (0.2059)
dancing naked (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
swallowing (0.2069)
sexing her hardcore (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2086)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
dinosaur wrestling (0.2105)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
pancakes (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
donating (0.2121)
playing chess (0.2121)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
post it notes (0.2128)
making your time (0.2143)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
listening to Beethoven (0.2143)
standing the test of time (0.2143)
facial hair (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
running with scissors (0.2151)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
washing your pet (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
having eaten dinner (0.2162)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
ephemera (0.2174)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
watching the sunrise (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
hot bondage (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
being too awesome (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
good times (0.2222)
what you did last Friday night (0.2222)
being the bee's knees (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
playing dress up (0.2222)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2245)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2245)
xylophones (0.2250)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2258)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.2273)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
eating a noun (0.2273)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
switching parties (0.2292)
sticking with your major (0.2292)
optical illusions (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
just wanting a sign (0.2308)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
going to Spain (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
dandelion wine (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
log cabin (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2353)
eating babies (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
irony (0.2368)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2373)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
how awesome broiling is (0.2381)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
ice cream (0.2381)
having sexy intestines (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2394)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2405)
orthodontics (0.2407)
penis (0.2407)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
chocolate (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.2424)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
studying linguistics (0.2453)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2456)
your haircut (0.2459)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
buying a Wii (0.2471)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
meeting a possum (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
escaping out the back (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
what happened in vegas (0.2500)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
smoking pot (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
making pies (0.2500)
eating a tasty salad (0.2500)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2527)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2527)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2535)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
trying something new (0.2547)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
being (0.2558)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
leaving the farm (0.2564)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
anonymity (0.2571)
The Princess Bride (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
white text on a dark background (0.2593)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2593)
tapirs (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
ATM machines (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
being necessarily clever (0.2615)
having known love (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
sexuality (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
pictures for sad children (0.2632)
polygamy (0.2632)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
going commando (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
eating tofu (0.2634)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
coconut bras (0.2667)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
being the lazer viking (0.2667)
Dresden Codak (0.2667)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2667)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
Wagner (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
going to graduate school (0.2697)
your First Time (0.2698)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
everything (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
gyrating your leatherwrapped genitals in the faces of those Japanese schoolchildren (0.2727)
eating skinless breasts (0.2727)
growing a beard (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
agreeing to casual sex with that hot friend who looks like that one movie star (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
changing your name (0.2727)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
spooning (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
the simpsons (0.2727)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
that ordinary sentences can take on a really weird meaning when you end them with an exclamation point! (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
the abortion (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
eating something you found on the ground or floor (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
having Clue in your list of Top Ten Favorite Movies of All Time (0.2727)
watching Borat (0.2734)
the final countdown (0.2745)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2750)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
opening the windows (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
eating macademia nuts (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
being a socialist (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
eating that last cookie (0.2778)
going to church (0.2778)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
the moon (0.2778)
walruses (0.2778)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
being Ryan (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2791)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
starting that fire (0.2791)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2800)
taking the boat (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
doing acid (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
selling myself to science (0.2821)
crowdsurfing (0.2826)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2847)
the ventures (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2857)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2857)
tickling her THERE (0.2857)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
globalisation (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
using drugs (0.2857)
not telling your parents (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
not having a penis (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2872)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
going POOP (0.2895)
private school (0.2895)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
watching House (0.2897)
mocha (0.2903)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
not getting circumcised (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
gazing (0.2917)
having that threesome (0.2917)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2917)
making love above the pub (0.2917)
takin it to the streets (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
tackling her (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
taking it all off (0.2941)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
being a child once (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2955)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2960)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
living drug free (0.2963)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2973)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2987)
fasting (0.3000)
Friends (0.3000)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.3000)
believing in god (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
stuffing that lawyer in the fridge (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
your twisted desires (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)
looking through all the old regrets you made, using the cache (0.3000)
stealing Tucksworth's hamburger (0.3000)
that everybody's footloose (0.3000)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
living on the edge (0.3000)
not thinking xkcd should get as much grief as it does (0.3000)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
white type on a black background (0.3010)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (0.3019)
leaving (0.3021)
liking shorts (0.3023)
telling people you listen to indie music (0.3028)
puppy dawgs (0.3030)
rolling around with dogs (0.3030)
everything after the age of eleven (0.3036)
going to that party (0.3037)
colour coordinating (0.3043)
pickling her (0.3043)
pushing it real good (0.3043)
Irish Evil (0.3043)
kissing that bearded man (0.3043)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12566/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2608/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (358)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]