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but not John McAfee, unless he threatens to chin anyone who stands in his way?
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recent regrets

a group of unwanted vegetables, fruits, legumes and nuts who were swept to the corner of a shop but ran away together and set up home in and around an old, forgotten garden shed
the King of Fatworld Queens, starring a skeletal Kevin James and his hot three quarter ton wife
having never reached a consensus on whether men in fatworld are obese, normal, or whatever
wondering if Fatworld Mark Wahlberg used to go by Marquee Mark and the Funky Lunch
bull willies
this guy's original, he's got the juice
we're bullies
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since this morning
Kento Ikeda alone having anally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
You won't be thrilled if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be held if you don't do anything wrong
You won't be kissed if you don't do anything wrong
Donald Trump makes no such promises
You won't be killed if you don't do anything wrong
Their gimmick was that they were two construction workers turned wrestlers who wore jeans to the ring, and that Kanyon would cause the team to suffer losses by taking measurements with his tape measure at inopportune times
lundi forte et dure
peine forte et dure
topping for Donald Rump in Make America Gay Again VII
Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
[ show all 115179 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) we're bullies
(2) Go Ikeda alone having orally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
(1) Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
(4) Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
(1) the terrifying prospect of being governed by people who think life is like the Wacky Races and what some people need is a good boulder dropped on their heads to sort them out
(3) that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them
(3) hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes
(1) wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
(2) this is a California Cheeseburger
(1) this is a rat burger
[ show more ]

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

not eating out Kento (0.0000)
twats (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
pussy (0.0000)
shaving Jewel's bush, meow (0.0000)
smashing a birdhouse with your flaccid dick (0.0000)
having sex with a girl who looked a lot like Christina Ricci (0.0000)
slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000)
brunettes (0.0000)
sprinking chocolate chips on your beloved's breasts as you knead them (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
The Curious Cans of Benjamin Buttocks (0.0000)
holding your boobs when you run down the stairs (0.0000)
bellowing DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
stabbing Isabella Rossellini and ejaculating in the wound (0.0000)
not being Kento (0.0000)
having Gordon Ramsay voice an orangutan who does nothing but masturbate and defecate (0.0000)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Kimmie Gibbler (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
stealing that girl's bra from the communal laundry room (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
humping Jewel's bust (0.0000)
teabagging Raymond Burr (0.0000)
cornholing Willie Mays (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
turtles (0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (0.0004)
regret index greatest tits, Kento (0.0115)
breasts (0.0135)
buying multiple copies of the book "To Be or Not to Be" by the incredibly handsome New York Times bestselling author Ryan North (0.0161)
slamming your dick in Jewel's boobs (0.0185)
saying no when you should have said yes (0.0217)
having a lesbian crush on Alex Dainis (0.0233)
dongs (0.0297)
staring at Bicoid Babe's ass seriously (0.0310)
Twin Long Rods #Two (0.0345)
asian racks (0.0357)
fisting Kevin Bacon at home (0.0370)
hating reality TV shows (0.0385)
sexy makeouts (0.0400)
going to the Sweatiest Ass in the World world premiere with Kento (0.0408)
being awesome (0.0410)
going slightly out of your way to step on that crunchy looking leaf (0.0433)
consistent pubic lice (0.0455)
dinosaurs (0.0466)
Receiving from Jaylala (0.0476)
spooning Kento's boobs (0.0526)
being the real deal (0.0526)
breastfeeding (0.0526)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0541)
learning to play the xylophone (0.0543)
Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol (0.0556)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0556)
how weird The Regret Index becomes at night (0.0556)
being a nerd (0.0580)
drinking delicious lemonade and popping wheelies (0.0588)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0606)
building a castle out of the junk in a junkyard (0.0625)
boobs (0.0625)
demanding proof (0.0625)
managing to resist the perverse curiosity to see TwoGirlsOneCup, so far (0.0625)
making a fort in your living room out of couch cushions (0.0625)
this video (0.0667)
playing it loud (0.0704)
really not regretting the number one four two eight at all (0.0714)
wondering what penguin would tase like (0.0714)
having to wear glasses (0.0714)
sleeping with that slim ugly huge breasted double D cup bucktoothed seventeen year old national merit scolar bikini model cellist goth, and by the way, screw you MB (0.0714)
your love of eighties action movies (0.0727)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0732)
discovering webcomics (0.0746)
that Jewel has huge boobs, seriously (0.0769)
playing Dungeons & Dragons with Tim Duncan (0.0769)
defending the bullied kid (0.0769)
not wearing panties (0.0769)
getting FOUR fish hooks stuck in your scrotum (0.0769)
futurama (0.0769)
boobs, vaginas, asses, and such (0.0769)
choosing Squirtle (0.0769)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0811)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.0833)
having beautiful breasts (0.0833)
Bicoid Babe (0.0833)
drinking champagne out of a chimp anus (0.0833)
that wikipedia describes attending concerts as a "ritual" (0.0833)
dinosaur comics (0.0833)
"Allison Iraheta being voted off American Idol" being voted off the bottom regrets list (0.0833)
not supporting the President (0.0833)
soliciting a fourteen year old boy to pose for sexually explicit photographs (0.0833)
cuddling (0.0833)
that walruses, goats, and swans represent the Leviathan, Behemoth, and Ziz, respectively, of the regret index (0.0833)
disabling your crazy friend (0.0833)
saying, "boners ahoy!" (0.0853)
kicking it old school (0.0870)
rocking out (0.0875)
staying in college (0.0879)
sharing warm spiced cider with a loved one (0.0891)
nomming a hamburger (0.0909)
wondering if so many ladies turn to writing and reading smut because they crave porn but get turned off by the way it's made (0.0909)
baking bread (0.0909)
Squirtle (0.0909)
questioning your sexuality (0.0909)
Digimon (0.0909)
indulging your nerd side (0.0909)
hugging a tree like a dirty hippie (0.0909)
garlic (0.0909)
suckling (0.0909)
NOT kneeling before Zod (0.0909)
Bicoid Babe (0.0909)
making waffles (0.0918)
moving out of your parent's house (0.0941)
drinking delicious lemonade (0.0951)
holding hands (0.0952)
treehouses (0.0952)
fun times involving sushi (0.0959)
playing videogames while drunk (0.0962)
learning another language (0.0962)
publicly mocking Swine Flu (0.0970)
dromiceiomimus (0.0976)
butts (0.0991)
growing up in a nonchurchgoing family (0.1000)
not having seen Muriel's Wedding (0.1000)
sitting on the floor in second grade (0.1000)
less than three (0.1000)
buying a Dinosaur Comics tshirt (0.1017)
sleeping naked (0.1026)
defending cream soda (0.1062)
saying 'boners ahoy' (0.1064)
putting punctuation in your comment (0.1067)
the last time you drank (0.1071)
the very last thing you said (0.1071)
opening new cider (0.1077)
going to lunch (0.1111)
spending all weekend naked (0.1111)
following that white rabbit (0.1111)
having seen Star Wars all the through probably over a hundred times (0.1111)
that stuff getting eaten is inherently funny (0.1111)
hugging a tree like a koala (0.1111)
the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher (0.1111)
kissing (0.1116)
becoming an atheist (0.1124)
getting into firefly (0.1126)
World War Two's ending in Allied victory (0.1129)
party party partying hard (0.1136)
being meat (0.1143)
starting over (0.1143)
eating raised bread (0.1154)
closing the door (0.1154)
smoking weed (0.1154)
boners (0.1156)
friendship (0.1167)
the little wiggly things at the end of feet (0.1176)
making a little space for the cheese slices (0.1176)
that rachel is back (0.1176)
downloading music illegally (0.1176)
spending an evening eating spicy cheetos, reading language log, and masturbating to nude photos of your ex from five years ago (0.1176)
drinking your first drink (0.1183)
getting your hot cocoa on (0.1200)
skipping work to sit in the sun (0.1200)
accepting candy from strangers (0.1204)
the color of blood outside the body when one has iron based blood (0.1212)
thinking of rain (0.1212)
ryan north (0.1226)
drinking a cold beer in the shower (0.1228)
Voting for Barak Obama (0.1228)
breathing (0.1239)
that you tend to give money to buskers or not depending on their talent (0.1250)
hating family guy almost as soon as it was uncanceled (0.1250)
not meeting Emily Gray (0.1250)
reading the book that changed everything (0.1250)
popping wheelies with the boys (0.1275)
winning (0.1287)
having sex at seventeen (0.1304)
vandalizing Wikipedia's chicken page that one time (0.1304)
watching Mystery Science Theatre all night (0.1304)
Getting into Miles Davis (0.1304)
that groove is in the heart (0.1304)
talking to strangers (0.1311)
not getting the chance to meet the Mets (0.1311)
free speech (0.1316)
voting (0.1324)
eating goat cheese (0.1333)
Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.1333)
flushing that gallon of rotten shrimp down the toilet (0.1333)
attempting to lucid dream (0.1333)
not installing Safari Three on all your computers yet (0.1333)
obama (0.1348)
taking AP classes (0.1349)
loving Batman (0.1351)
qwantz (0.1356)
kissing her (0.1364)
making out with that girl dressed as a French maid at that costume party (0.1364)
making mud soup as a kid (0.1364)
being one of the very few people in your circle of friends to never really have the urge to smoke cigarettes (0.1389)
lasers (0.1395)
singing along (0.1395)
not wringing your parent's neck (0.1400)
not having kids (0.1408)
skipping the Harry Potter midnight release (0.1413)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of p subscript i to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.1429)
eating roast beef off of your own boobs (0.1429)
sexy spaceships (0.1429)
making out with that girl who turned out to still be in high school (0.1429)
paying for a whole seat but only using the edge (0.1429)
I don't know, always kind of liking narwhals yourself (0.1429)
in jokes (0.1429)
What is this I don't even (0.1429)
having impure thoughts about a teenage Winona Rider (0.1429)
liking michael showalter a lot (0.1429)
ap classes (0.1429)
not going to freecreditreport dot com (0.1429)
kicking everyone's butt (0.1429)
having erotic fantasies about Bob Dylan (0.1429)
going hog wild (0.1429)
polydactyl cats (0.1429)
being a rocker (0.1429)
not boning a donkey (0.1429)
dropping your first truth and beauty bomb (0.1429)
putting your jeans and socks in one load (0.1429)
losing your virginity (0.1429)
growing long hair (0.1453)
living abroad (0.1477)
sexing her hardcore (0.1481)
all those books you read (0.1481)
not being pretentious enough (0.1481)
breaking bones while snowboarding (0.1481)
passing yourself off as royalty (0.1500)
spending an entire weekend in your pjs (0.1500)
blowing raspberries (0.1500)
being a meatatarian (0.1500)
eating vaguely european (0.1500)
accepting a lower paying but much less stressfull job (0.1505)
burning that motherfucker down (0.1515)
breaking the law (0.1522)
going to the gym (0.1524)
keeping on trucking (0.1538)
physically assaulting that guy who can't even bother to tune in the easy listening station properly in his cubicle (0.1538)
that you always liked Mike more than Joel (0.1538)
The Middleman being cancelled (0.1538)
that "bottom regrets" and "most voted regrets" are white while "add a new regret" "search regrets" "recent regrets" "top regrets" and "recent comments" are all in blue (0.1538)
deep throating Stephen Fry (0.1538)
wearing two socks (0.1538)
sneaking around in a cardboard box, Metal Gear style (0.1538)
listening to music that no one else has heard of (0.1538)
pie (0.1538)
Being born (0.1543)
trying that exotic food (0.1544)
telling your parents you're an atheist (0.1552)
not kissing up to people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.1556)
memorising every Star Trek episode (0.1557)
keeping it real (0.1557)
getting drunk at a wedding (0.1579)
that "avril lavigne" in Canadia is a line of spring fresh canuck bidets (0.1579)
learning an instrument (0.1587)
gay (0.1587)
having a power level of over NINE THOUSAND (0.1591)
eating in a rad mood (0.1600)
reading the regret index (0.1613)
the indescribable beauty of simplicity (0.1622)
wikipedia (0.1622)
eating bread (0.1622)
eating meat (0.1628)
playing Starfox Sixty Four (0.1647)
how many times you went back over the archive for Dinosaur comics (0.1648)
Pretending to be asleep to avoid talking (0.1649)
visiting this website (0.1656)
just wanting a sign (0.1667)
christmas (0.1667)
always eating your skittles in prismatic order (0.1667)
eating her out (0.1667)
busting myths (0.1667)
cheese (0.1667)
randomly meeting people who fill your heart with glee (0.1667)
clockwork (0.1667)
sweetness (0.1667)
pudding (0.1667)
watching 'The Dark Knight' (0.1667)
eating left handed (0.1667)
meeting a possum (0.1667)
refusing to accept the modern sense of "tweet" into your vocabulary (0.1667)
having roast beef (0.1667)
chrono trigger (0.1667)
being in a rad mood (0.1667)
being the one kid in your nerd clique who instantly hated Return of the Jedi with a passion (0.1667)
being able to say 'when I was your age, pluto was a planet' (0.1695)
playing in traffic (0.1696)
being British (0.1698)
not switching to Geico (0.1712)
having eaten dinner (0.1714)
having a onesome (0.1717)
hugging a tree (0.1719)
ghosts (0.1724)
listening to Wagner (0.1739)
dancing naked ALL DAY LONG (0.1739)
neing a super freak super freak (0.1739)
wondering whether Kento, Document, Sarah, and Pseudonym have found the new regret index yet (0.1739)
not waxing your eyebrows in high school (0.1748)
that where we're going we don't need roads (0.1748)
preparing for the zombie apocalypse (0.1750)
a log cabin (0.1757)
staying up all night to watch the sun rise (0.1757)
planning for the zombie attack (0.1765)
putting on your robe and wizard hat (0.1765)
thinking of lettuce as just a delivery system for salad dressing (0.1765)
eating a huge nerd (0.1765)
dessert (0.1765)
getting a lick job from a trannie hooker in the dumpster behind Steak n Shake (0.1765)
Garfield Minus Garfield (0.1765)
not being one of those women who instantly fawn over babies (0.1765)
loving lamp (0.1771)
having a crush on the Utahraptor (0.1773)
peanut butter (0.1778)
that Venn diagramming is your favorite type of diagramming (0.1786)
painting the bedroom a color other than white or offwhite (0.1789)
not smoking (0.1795)
that the Index is back, and the old users are back, and it is amazing nostalgic times for all (0.1795)
bacon (0.1795)
still knowing the lyrics to eighties pop songs (0.1795)
insisting on protection (0.1795)
simple english wikipedia (0.1818)
wondering whether a centaur foal would suckle from the human breasts or the horse teats underneath (0.1818)
brownies (0.1818)
using the word "substitute" as a substitute for "replacement" (0.1818)
watching the sunrise (0.1818)
spending the Fourth in someone else's country (0.1818)
ever reading books (0.1818)
hot bondage (0.1818)
knowing you created one of the bottom regrets (0.1818)
losing yourself and dreaming of world that lie between her fingers (0.1818)
that, in a way, David Carradine's death from autoerotic asphyxiation could properly be termed "a fatal stroke" (0.1818)
not eating goats for a living (0.1818)
dancing naked (0.1818)
lullabies (0.1818)
that you wonder if rachel would be in your klan or hoard or guild or whatever when the pokemon mmorpg comes out (0.1818)
bringing up your distaste for Disney music (0.1818)
eating a huge marshmallow (0.1818)
pronouncing "Intelligentsia" with a hard G (0.1818)
road trips (0.1818)
recognizing the beauty of mathematics and logic (0.1818)
lovin' dem pizza rolls (0.1818)
streaking (0.1818)
not really liking MMORPGs (0.1818)
camping (0.1818)
trying to convince someone you are their Tyler Durden (0.1818)
buying food for homeless people (0.1825)
not living in Corvallis, Oregon (0.1835)
washing your pet (0.1837)
yelling "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes (0.1837)
fry (0.1842)
drawing penises on the worksheet (0.1842)
hot snogging (0.1842)
revealing your nerdiness (0.1852)
standing the test of time (0.1852)
being an alligator (0.1852)
having a huge weiner (0.1852)
listening to Beethoven (0.1852)
going to college (0.1852)
having a huge internet crush on Kate Beaton (0.1852)
being the bee's knees (0.1860)
not knowing every ABBA song by heart, yet (0.1860)
donating to public radio (0.1860)
wanting to be under the sea, in an octopus's garden, in the shade (0.1875)
not joining the military (0.1875)
using the word "retarded" as a replacement for "stupid" (0.1875)
not knowing more about Anonymous (0.1875)
eating a butterfinger (0.1875)
donating (0.1875)
living in the city (0.1875)
wearing white after Labor Day (0.1875)
foreplay (0.1875)
watching Captain Planet (0.1875)
feeling that Pepe is the cutes BYOB corner pet (0.1875)
being real and fantastic (0.1875)
iTunes somehow playing the same song around the same time every day despite being on shuffle (0.1875)
chocolate spread (0.1875)
the metric system (0.1878)
giving that dorky, but really sweet guy a chance (0.1885)
dowloading that song (0.1887)
choosing adventure over security (0.1892)
dinosaur wrestling (0.1892)
hooking up words and phrases and clauses (0.1905)
choosing cake instead of death (0.1905)
having a name that is fifty percent vowels (0.1905)
not actually being bitter or a nihilist (0.1905)
that the sea is deep and full of mystery (0.1905)
being the cat's meow (0.1905)
taking boat (0.1905)
shooting Scott Temple (0.1905)
eating a noun (0.1905)
waiting most of the morning for the time to roll around when you can go to lunch at the most awesome hot dog place ever (0.1905)
bondage (0.1923)
being afraid of Americans (0.1923)
telling your mother you don't want to have children (0.1923)
not watching the movie Pontypool (0.1923)
this picture (0.1923)
milk (0.1935)
earning a PhD instead of an MD (0.1935)
pretending you're a woman to get into nursing school (0.1935)
learning new and interesting things about skin and blood (0.1935)
holding cats (0.1935)
drawing a webcomic (0.1947)
saving up some money (0.1951)
reading pictures for sad children (0.1951)
not seeing Nicolas Cage after seeing Face Off (0.1951)
signing up for Twitter (0.1992)
how awesome broiling is (0.2000)
going on a bicycle tour (0.2000)
delicious ice cream (0.2000)
dandelion wine (0.2000)
buying the newer model (0.2000)
busting through the heavens with your drill (0.2000)
a glorious fart (0.2000)
making pies (0.2000)
being the hottest item on the regret index (0.2000)
British English (0.2000)
hooking up with ryan (0.2000)
not having played Kingdom Hearts yet (0.2000)
that larder is a pretty neat, word, a holdover whose anachronistic meaning specifically meant a COLD storage room, but post refrigeration came to mean simply a pantry, but it could also mean a supply of food, the thing itself (0.2000)
losing your religion (0.2000)
that crazy night in Pheonix (0.2000)
flipping off everyone you hated from high school (0.2000)
finally taking a chance and talking to him or her (0.2000)
someday wanting to own land, with fruit growing on that land (0.2000)
getting over your ex so quickly (0.2000)
jumping in that lake (0.2022)
buying a Mac (0.2027)
not going to dartmouth (0.2034)
making love to your hand (0.2035)
extra sprinkles (0.2037)
Fictional Jimbo Wales (0.2041)
being bigger on the inside (0.2045)
listening to the whole CD (0.2051)
giving a gift as a surprise (0.2055)
liking folk rock (0.2059)
finding the key to the secret garden (0.2059)
mARRIAGE (0.2059)
experimenting with new and interesting sandwich fillings (0.2065)
running with scissors (0.2065)
swallowing (0.2069)
the Lord of the Rings (0.2079)
singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs (0.2083)
spending two hours on the phone with your grandmother (0.2083)
the resurrection of the regret index (0.2083)
being mean to the neighbor's rude kid (0.2083)
ever reading that first comic strip on the Web (0.2083)
changing your cell phone number (0.2083)
thanksgiving (0.2086)
not going to prom (0.2088)
wearing a tshirt with a dinosaur on it to a dinosaur museum (0.2105)
pancakes (0.2105)
sleeping for thirteen hours (0.2105)
being Witty (0.2105)
wanting to take a girl under your arm (0.2105)
turning it up to eleven (0.2105)
correcting your friends everytime they misspell Dromiceiomimus (0.2105)
xkcd (0.2105)
the Dromiceiomimus' improbable colouring (0.2105)
magic (0.2105)
Dinosaur Comics' new layout (0.2105)
eating cows (0.2105)
staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old paint her nails online (0.2115)
feeling closer to people in this world of regret (0.2121)
watching the Donald Duck cartoon "Die Fuhrer's Face" (0.2121)
buying a motorcycle (0.2121)
playing chess (0.2121)
post it notes (0.2128)
switching parties (0.2128)
what you did last Friday night (0.2135)
using words that are not really words (0.2143)
not killing every faggot I've ever seen in my entire life (0.2143)
lying on a futon (0.2143)
going to university (0.2143)
wondering, if the death machine was made of organic technology, could it predict its own death (0.2143)
chocolate (0.2143)
Monty Python (0.2143)
facial hair (0.2143)
being the lazer viking (0.2143)
disagreeing with things (0.2143)
going to market (0.2143)
wondering if we can get back up to forty thousand regrets in a year's time (0.2143)
eating pizza (0.2143)
jerking off into your roommate's shampoo bottle, not just once but every day for like two weeks (0.2143)
the invention of custard (0.2143)
making your time (0.2143)
being really cool (0.2143)
masturbating at a Jessica Alba movie (0.2143)
air guitar (0.2143)
that consomme is broth with will (0.2143)
listening to music at a much higher or lower volume than what the artist intended (0.2143)
Jack Kerouac (0.2143)
using hugs, not drugs (0.2157)
going to the beach alone (0.2157)
being American (0.2160)
knowing why the caged bird sings (0.2162)
telling your brother he was adopted (0.2174)
this place smelling like brownies all of the sudden (0.2174)
taking care of knives (0.2174)
giggling over a heart's warm cockles (0.2174)
not eating Pizza Hut pizza (0.2174)
eating a tasty salad (0.2174)
punching that baby, despite it's rude behavior (0.2174)
ephemera (0.2174)
purposely deceiving someone who never listens to what you have to say (0.2182)
following Stephen Fry on Twitter (0.2192)
the death of Clippy (0.2200)
missing the NBA playoffs to watch the new episode of 'Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern' (0.2203)
almost always using the British spellings for things, even though you are an American and your spell check always tells you it's wrong (0.2206)
shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die (0.2211)
raspberries, om nom nom (0.2222)
painting your fingernails lime green (0.2222)
major tom (0.2222)
fighting the Nausican (0.2222)
pictures for sad children (0.2222)
PIN numbers (0.2222)
Loosing you religion or faith (0.2222)
getting a tattoo (0.2222)
looking at pictures of adorable puppies (0.2222)
feeding the ducks (0.2222)
becoming vegetarian or vegan (0.2222)
good times (0.2222)
being Anonymous (0.2222)
volunteering (0.2222)
tiger's belly (0.2222)
explaining to someone what the Regret Index is (0.2222)
being too awesome (0.2222)
wondering what the significance of the qwantz dot com domain name is (0.2222)
playing dress up (0.2222)
sending the President into exile (0.2222)
stealing the enterprise (0.2241)
crying during the first ten minutes of the new Star Trek movie (0.2241)
dancing all crazy (0.2250)
xylophones (0.2250)
EXISTING (0.2254)
escaping out the back (0.2258)
spreading your legs (0.2258)
staying on the phone all night (0.2273)
cooking bacon (0.2273)
ATM machines (0.2273)
tapirs (0.2273)
cut and pasting a webcomic (0.2273)
making love above the pub (0.2273)
takin it to the streets (0.2273)
quitting even though the job was OK, but just OK (0.2273)
writing slashfiction about webcomic authors (0.2286)
a lifetime dedicated to public displays of air guitar (0.2286)
not settling down when all your friends did (0.2286)
what happened in vegas (0.2286)
wondering if there's a way to extract all of these autofill regrets into a text file for saving and possibly choosing the better ones (0.2286)
optical illusions (0.2292)
the internet (0.2293)
eating lunch yesterday (0.2308)
reproducing via meiosis (0.2308)
having an affair with the flirty executive assistant (0.2308)
not knowing who Richard Dawkins is (0.2308)
running away from indie cred, even though you listen to some of the music (0.2308)
having an adolescent crush on Christopher Walken (0.2308)
studying linguistics (0.2308)
not having a penis (0.2308)
horseshoe crabs (0.2308)
filling your thesis with references to monkeys (0.2308)
having a cute little white butt (0.2308)
a French guy who looks like Janice Dickinson wearing a strap on under a fancy ball gown, just to piss off his rich bitch girlfriend and her annoying family (0.2308)
playing god (0.2308)
vaguely effeminate dancing frogs (0.2308)
leaving a legacy (0.2308)
birth control (0.2308)
puttin' on the ritz (0.2308)
actually finding pigeons more cute than vermin like (0.2308)
preferring women with body hair over women who shave (0.2308)
stories about elves and unicorns (0.2308)
that dreaming is free (0.2308)
the general awesomeness of blacklights (0.2308)
eating cheese just for the sake of eating cheese (0.2308)
extra cheese (0.2308)
being a pantyaire, like a millionaire but with panties instead of money (0.2308)
being your mother's child (0.2308)
reading every single Dinosaur Comic from beginning to end in a single sitting (0.2308)
that you like pie quite a bit (0.2308)
going to Spain (0.2308)
buying a chocolate bar without checking the label first, only to find it had peanuts in it (0.2320)
spending a whole bunch of time reading random articles on wikipedia (0.2326)
that your delicious cheeseburger was made from a cow whose cause of death was predicted by an infallible machine (0.2326)
chewing bubblegum (0.2326)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (0.2328)
getting a credit card (0.2329)
getting out of bed this morning (0.2333)
your haircut (0.2333)
referring to water as hydrogen hydroxide, as a means to both achieve maximal accuracy from the perspective of how the atoms are actually connected, and freaking people out (0.2333)
Grad school (0.2336)
only that you have but one life to give for your country (0.2340)
log cabin (0.2340)
sticking with your major (0.2340)
spending an entire day listening to the same song on repeat (0.2348)
deep frying boring healthy food (0.2353)
tapping her mana (0.2353)
comitting massive regret vote fraud (0.2353)
the moon (0.2353)
eating food that are high in potastium (0.2353)
thinking that dinosaur might be good to eat, depending on the species, but wondering if the size of the animal would effect the texture of the meat or something like that (0.2353)
growing a handlebar moustache (0.2353)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (0.2353)
anonymity (0.2353)
retiring early (0.2353)
wearing that outfit at the same time she did (0.2353)
writing the letter "x" backwards and upsidedown (0.2353)
eating babies (0.2353)
paying for something with fifteen dollars in quarters (0.2353)
going to church (0.2353)
dancing with the devil in the pale moon light (0.2353)
wearing hipster glasses (0.2360)
leaving the farm (0.2368)
irony (0.2368)
getting hooked on Harry Potter or Twilight (0.2375)
making fun of people who instigate fights in YouTube's comments section (0.2381)
ice cream (0.2381)
adding this to StumbleUpon (0.2381)
shit son, I don't know (0.2381)
buying a Wii (0.2381)
reading, that shit is crazy (0.2381)
selling your nintendo wii (0.2381)
being the latest in nerd technology (0.2381)
doing it for the lulz (0.2386)
Skipping the Fiance's family Easter Dinner to play xbox and go to a concert (0.2389)
missing Efterklang at the Dublin Docklands (0.2400)
losing your religion, like in that one song (0.2400)
Paris (0.2400)
falling in love (0.2400)
airing out your nughty bits (0.2400)
going to an Ivy League school (0.2400)
broken broccoli (0.2400)
inventing a maneuver (0.2400)
impersonating that person (0.2400)
helvetica (0.2400)
trying something new (0.2404)
orthodontics (0.2407)
penis (0.2407)
using flesh for digestive energy (0.2411)
Dresden Codak (0.2414)
still knowing the lyrics to nineties pop songs (0.2414)
not being on fire (0.2418)
my high GPA in high school (0.2418)
nothing (0.2421)
smoking pot (0.2421)
going through a Bob Marley phase in college, like EVERYONE else (0.2424)
love (0.2424)
tweed jackets with leather elbow patches (0.2429)
asking her out (0.2435)
the english alphabet (0.2436)
turning up at Ryan's door covered in mustard (0.2449)
giving up eating mammals (0.2460)
rereading all the harry potter books (0.2462)
dating someone much younger (0.2474)
breaking up with my first love (0.2482)
speaking in spoonerisms (0.2500)
being born during the hot war (0.2500)
being The One (0.2500)
picking up the banana phone (0.2500)
lesbians (0.2500)
thinking someone was hot just because they were good at maths (0.2500)
that aloe plants are awesome (0.2500)
using my mom's deodorant (0.2500)
answering the telephone in a foreign language (0.2500)
living and learning (0.2500)
not giving David Gwilliam kisses before he got married (0.2500)
the existence of the interrobang! (0.2500)
line dancing while drunk (0.2500)
a clandestine meating (0.2500)
eating a minimalist (0.2500)
girls, ewwwwww (0.2500)
that you never had a chance to tell Farty McCrablice that YOU LOVE HIM (0.2500)
knowing she was gay and still dating her (0.2500)
getting a liberal arts education (0.2500)
that English is your fourth language and you speak it better than your first but not your second (0.2500)
tickling her THERE (0.2500)
wondering what kind of girl would be impressed with somebody smoking, it doesn't seem that difficult to do (0.2500)
sexual congress (0.2500)
hugging a koala (0.2500)
having sexy intestines (0.2500)
having low pop culture IQ (0.2500)
your sudden urge to make brownies (0.2500)
life being so tasty (0.2500)
correcting people on their improper use of the subjunctive (0.2500)
ever saying "no fat chicks" (0.2500)
taking the boat (0.2500)
that Japanese people LOVE coelacanths (0.2500)
making fun of fat swans (0.2500)
the Pythagorean theorem (0.2500)
your very existence (0.2500)
considering eating two dollars and fifty cents worth of raspberries in one sitting (0.2500)
the first time you got drunk (0.2500)
falling in love with the majesty of colors (0.2500)
English (0.2500)
being scared of Kefka (0.2500)
the simpsons (0.2500)
having sex with your boss' underage daughter (0.2500)
books (0.2500)
deliberately misunderstanding offensive slang by taking it literally, ie assume when someone says 'faggot' that they refer to a bundle of sticks or twigs (0.2500)
being a huge nerd (0.2500)
deep fat frying a twinkie (0.2500)
being necessarily clever (0.2500)
not having balls (0.2500)
being crazy and or retarded (0.2500)
trolling the UK government petition site with stupid petitions you know would be rejected (0.2500)
all of the weird things you are a fan of (0.2500)
underboob (0.2500)
wondering what goes through their little kitty brains (0.2500)
Ryan getting the Regret Index back up (0.2500)
fluffy cats (0.2500)
never dealing drugs (0.2500)
yogurt's laxative properties (0.2500)
licking out a feminist (0.2500)
a b a a b a b b b a b a a a a b b a b a b a a b b a a b b b a a b b a b b b a b b a b a a a b b b b b a a b b b a a a b a b a b a b a b b a b a a b b a b b a a a a b a b a b a a b b a b b a b a b b b a a b b a a b b a b b a b b b a a a b a b a b a b b a a (0.2500)
getting divorced (0.2500)
ira glass vs philip glass in "glass warfare" (0.2500)
going the extra mile (0.2500)
girls with full lips and wide hips (0.2500)
socializing instead of playing video games (0.2527)
eating mexican food (0.2540)
unpacking my adjectives (0.2542)
dyeing your hair (0.2545)
not googling The Underfold (0.2554)
being (0.2558)
chromatic scales (0.2558)
wishing you could give yourself a blowie (0.2564)
tang (0.2564)
not trying alcohol sooner (0.2564)
not listening to Billy Zane (0.2564)
sexy times with a friend (0.2570)
being a socialist (0.2571)
not knowing what the big deal with Twitter is (0.2571)
puppy dawgs (0.2581)
telling him you had feelings for him even though you really didn't know whether he'd reciprocate (0.2581)
quoting that xkcd comic (0.2581)
going back for seconds on dessert (0.2582)
painting your fingernails black (0.2593)
being a Shakespeare nerd (0.2593)
eating macademia nuts (0.2593)
lying about how spicy it was (0.2593)
eating tofu (0.2595)
the final countdown (0.2600)
eating that piece of chocolate (0.2609)
eating out a feminist (0.2609)
eating all the royalty (0.2609)
bursting out into evil laughter in a crowded or public place (0.2609)
throwing your underwear onto the stage (0.2609)
going to graduate school (0.2614)
starting that fire (0.2619)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then talking like Ryan for the next month (0.2619)
having known love (0.2619)
learning lisp (0.2619)
being vaguely european (0.2632)
cooking hamburgers on my engine block (0.2632)
taking comfort in the regret index in any way whatsoever (0.2632)
giving your best when you know it won't be enough (0.2632)
living on the edge (0.2632)
going commando (0.2632)
everything (0.2632)
being there for her when she needed you (0.2632)
writing a novel (0.2632)
wondering what kind of feelings different animals feel (0.2632)
eating that cookie out of the trash (0.2632)
your twisted desires (0.2632)
being winsome (0.2632)
sexuality (0.2632)
polygamy (0.2632)
selling myself to science (0.2632)
wanting gummi bears and or banana chips right now (0.2632)
that shorts are comfy and easy to wear (0.2647)
insisting on precision (0.2656)
responding with Sassy Molassy (0.2658)
alligators in the sewer (0.2667)
taking the last brownie (0.2667)
slowly replacing every part of your body with machinery (0.2667)
cleaning out your bowels through the act of pooping (0.2667)
not having tiny brown birds live behind your air conditioner (0.2667)
loving your mama (0.2667)
popping the zits on your ass (0.2667)
letting her sit in the front seat (0.2667)
eating food that fell on the ground (0.2667)
being a dog person (0.2667)
mocha (0.2667)
buying one of each in EVERY COLOUR (0.2667)
The Princess Bride (0.2667)
that all you know about Final Fantasy, you learned from a friend who really liked it when you were teenagers (0.2667)
reading through the entire dinosaur comics archive and then tasting like Ryan for the next month (0.2667)
crowdsurfing (0.2667)
spooning Jewel's boobs (0.2667)
Peeing in someone's drink (0.2667)
pokemon (0.2673)
doing a favour that I knew would not be repayed (0.2674)
watching Borat (0.2681)
Wagner (0.2692)
that now that the Regret Index is back, you can go back to ignoring your Facebook, Twitter, Livejournal, Tegaki, and Deviantart (0.2692)
living drug free (0.2692)
white text on a dark background (0.2692)
not memorising every Star Trek episode (0.2692)
eating a vegan (0.2692)
listining to something when you know it'll make you cry (0.2692)
your First Time (0.2698)
private school (0.2703)
losing your virginity when you did (0.2703)
switching majors (0.2703)
a tiny woman (0.2703)
eating pistachio nuts (0.2708)
putting these dumb questions on here (0.2716)
changing your name (0.2727)
taking up the ukulele (0.2727)
theamazingregretindexing (0.2727)
Werther's Originals (0.2727)
making friends with a cat named Badger (0.2727)
sighing (0.2727)
boneless skinless chicken breasts (0.2727)
waking up late in the afternoon (0.2727)
challenging someone to a duel via a glove to the face (0.2727)
loving (0.2727)
going wee wee wee all the way home (0.2727)
uisng pirate insults in a real fight (0.2727)
pushing it well (0.2727)
opening a nice, refreshing Tab (0.2727)
joining community theater (0.2727)
saying the name of the Scottish play (0.2727)
drinking from the tap (0.2727)
not sleeping with that tranvestite (0.2727)
loving Canada (0.2727)
a giant cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmellows and cream (0.2727)
making references to poetry (0.2727)
banjo dueling (0.2727)
being the king of all cosmos (0.2727)
ripping off penis jokes (0.2727)
being childfree (0.2727)
eating something you found on the ground or floor (0.2727)
OGC Man (0.2727)
floating in a most peculiar way (0.2727)
eating bacon made from pigs that had swine flu (0.2727)
wondering where all these regretters came from (0.2727)
tagging the Wikipedia article on irony as "contradicts itself" (0.2727)
hide and seek (0.2727)
M C Escher (0.2727)
dating (0.2727)
hasbro (0.2727)
going to the fancy dress party as Batman, knowing full well that the theme had no conceivable connection to Batman (0.2727)
brutal legend (0.2727)
Taking an art degree (0.2727)
halving a seventeen inch long penis (0.2727)
not eating my shorts (0.2727)
going out to the woods today (0.2727)
sending emails using your friends emails when he or she leaves themselves logged in and are not looking (0.2745)
cooking yourself a lavish meal and not sharing it with anyone (0.2746)
eating that last cookie (0.2747)
having a winsome onesome (0.2750)
living with your mother (0.2750)
fasting (0.2759)
opening the windows (0.2759)
listening to a favorite song on repeat for hours (0.2759)
the venture brothers (0.2759)
flames (0.2759)
that your livingroom is full of dancers (0.2759)
for some reason having a bias against nicotine (0.2759)
coming on to the regret index (0.2759)
coming to this site (0.2763)
super fat hippos (0.2766)
having that threesome (0.2766)
using this site to admit your regrets (0.2766)
getting (0.2768)
asking them out (0.2770)
walruses (0.2778)
eating boxed triceratops (0.2778)
asking them to wait for you (0.2778)
looking at gross and fascinating things on Wikipedia (0.2778)
homographic homophonic autantonyms (0.2778)
liking fat thighs you can not lie (0.2778)
wondering why rachel has returned to commenting without using her name (0.2778)
your wares (0.2778)
being Ryan (0.2778)
not telling your parents (0.2788)
memorizing Monty Python and the Holy Grail (0.2791)
not knowing any ABBA songs by Heart (0.2791)
being well envoweled (0.2800)
that someone keeps looking at my submitted regrets and combining them to form hilarious new ones (0.2800)
coming out (0.2800)
being well endowed (0.2800)
that you were only referring to the subjects of ABBA's music primarily seeming to come from a feminine point of view, but yeah, you don't mind referring to longhaired blonde Swedish dudes as "chicks" (0.2800)
not owning a single pair of tube socks (0.2800)
learning so many digits of pi (0.2800)
liking songs that seem innocent on first listening, but end up being about serial killers or something like that (0.2800)
going back in time to punch nazis in da face (0.2800)
not having an abortion (0.2800)
spending the entire night going through the archives of that webcomic (0.2804)
zombies ate my neighbors (0.2813)
masturbating (0.2813)
wanting to discover life with someone (0.2813)
doing acid (0.2813)
boats (0.2813)
your gay experience (0.2817)
throwing your hands up in the air, waving them around like you just don't care (0.2821)
missing the Butthole Surfers concert (0.2821)
the successful launch of Sputnik I (0.2826)
eating too much at Thanksgiving (0.2836)
watching House (0.2847)
loving songs that have really depressing lyrics to go along with a happy beat (0.2857)
following a dream even though it didn't work out (0.2857)
wanting to ride your bicycle, wanting to ride it when you like (0.2857)
being born after Freddy Mercury died (0.2857)
throwing meat at vegans (0.2857)
only listening to good music (0.2857)
your fingertips tasting like garlic (0.2857)
the ventures (0.2857)
coconut bras (0.2857)
globalisation (0.2857)
pooping on a dog (0.2857)
being honest (0.2857)
never doing bad things (0.2857)
having a detachable penis (0.2857)
vowels (0.2857)
your double agency (0.2857)
taking the Amtrak (0.2857)
screaming I LOVE YOU from the top of your lungs (0.2857)
ordering from Amazon marketplace (0.2857)
using drugs (0.2857)
winter (0.2857)
having your memories backed up on a thumb drive (0.2857)
living in a country that doesn't have bagged milk (0.2857)
fucking his mom (0.2857)
taking an expectorant (0.2857)
tieing your best friend up (0.2857)
that your whole family is made of meat (0.2857)
the death of a disco dancer (0.2857)
eating snakes (0.2857)
your time machine (0.2857)
kissing him (0.2864)
deciding you are too cool to go to the prom (0.2867)
getting mushrooms on your pizza (0.2872)
telling the truth, even though it hurt him (0.2875)
secretly wanting internet fame (0.2877)
intentionally spreading Swine Flu (0.2879)
kissing that boy in Ithaca (0.2885)
rubbing my face in a tiger's belly (0.2889)
thinking that the dude in the header of this website is kinda cute (0.2895)
playing Spyro (0.2895)
going POOP (0.2895)
The Ten Second Rule (0.2917)
Philip Fry's eleventh year of living in the future (0.2917)
going on to hotornot just to give everyone a really low score to stop them getting big headed (0.2917)
your circumcision (0.2917)
loving chocolate so damn much (0.2917)
cathedrals (0.2917)
gazing (0.2917)
that Weezing is a member of both the Team Rocket Poison Type binary with Arbok, and the Cinnabar Mansion Pollution binary with Muk (0.2917)
not sleeping with him (0.2917)
flirting with somebody other than your significant other (0.2924)
picking Charmander (0.2927)
tackling her (0.2927)
sleeping with your best friend (0.2931)
taking the red pill (0.2933)
that fry is your favorite character on futurama (0.2941)
only wanting to see Wolverine because of the hot, hairy Liev Schreiber (0.2941)
peeing in the shower (0.2941)
taking it all off (0.2941)
not giving change to what you thought was a homeless guy but was just some dude in need of a shower (0.2941)
using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.2941)
being a child once (0.2941)
accidentally setting my balls on fire with a barbecue lighter (0.2941)
your internet name lasting this long (0.2941)
adding a new regret (0.2941)
rioting with the frenzied mob (0.2941)
coming from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow (0.2941)
driving all day in order to pick up your brother, who is coming home for the summer (0.2941)
the flowers that bloom in the spring (0.2941)
every sexual experience you've ever had (0.2941)
using only one pokemon (0.2941)
not voting for the President (0.2941)
wondering how one gets a job as a taxidermist and bone cleaner (0.2941)
going to a tiny college (0.2941)
giving that bum some money (0.2947)
waking up this morning (0.2954)
hanging out with strangers on public transit (0.2960)
eating some vittles (0.2963)
chewing on things (0.2963)
cutting off your long hair (0.2963)
geometry (0.2963)
forgetting sarah marshall (0.2963)
wondering if anyone has the old regret list (0.2963)
pressing that big button (0.2963)
not getting circumcised (0.2979)
laughing because you suddenly remembered something hilarious, then realizing strangers are looking at you (0.2984)
decimating this pie (0.3000)
can mine for fish (0.3000)
eating a child once (0.3000)
cleaning up after yourself (0.3000)
that there is no such thing as an original sin (0.3000)
attending your graduation ceremony (0.3000)
stuffing that lawyer in the fridge (0.3000)
getting milk faced and humming like rabbits (0.3000)
stealing Tucksworth's hamburger (0.3000)
Batman (0.3000)
sex with your best friend (0.3000)

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

turtles (4882)
being a minimalist (4567)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4416)
Kento (4240)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (4137)
[ show more ]