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recent regrets

drawing a picture of Orlando Bloom bottoming for Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean, John Rhys Davies, and Sir Ian McKellen in Wreck Yo Elf VII
wrecking yo elf
Elf on the Shelf XIX Out of Elf Jokes Error Insert Fresh Spool
Elf on the Shelf XVIII Out of Elf Jokes Error
Elf on the Shelf XVII Elf Choice Awards
Elf on the Shelf XVI Barely Legal
Elf on the Shelf XV Puking Duck
Elf on the Shelf XIV le Roi Soleil
Elf on the Shelf XIII Curse of Freddy
Elf on the Shelf XII HIGH NOON
Elf on the Shelf XI Soccer Team
Elf on the Shelf X Sign on the Assembly Line
Elf on the Shelf IX Cumfart Tsunami
Elf on the Shelf VIII I Am I Am Elf on the Shelf I Am
Elf on the Shelf VII Elfin Gay Asians
Elf on the Shelf VI To Sell Toys
Elf on the Shelf V Superman
Elf on the Shelf IV League of Their Elf
Elf on the Shelf III Check Yo Shelf Befo U Wreck Yo Elf
Elf on the Shelf II Elf off tha Hook
[ show all 119202 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) all the people getting head on graciefilms dot com
(2) being c%l
(1) talking about poop poop poop muzik
(1) forcing yourself too deep
(2) our foreign and domestic policy is mostly going to consist of walking into doors
(7) Your comment must be in English or it will be removed
(2) that it's pretty much just racism
(1) semen slander
(3) applying for a job at Playboy
(4) crying while listening to Agadoo
(2) The trouble with a 'scientific' argument, of course, is that it relies solely on empirical facts
(1) naming your raggy do
(2) wanting to give Kento a butterfinger for his birthday
(1) shootin' some bystanders outside of the school
(1) this is exactly what I'm talking about, Eleanor has obviously programmed the Mk VII to choose banging a door and actually getting off on it over any kind of sexual activity with me, that whole site is a scam
(4) saving the life of a unmarried teen mother at the expense of two wealth creating cats
(17) moralmachine dot mit dot edu
(1) look at these cans
(1) look at this ass
(2) this ass
(1) that's quite the ask
(2) this ad
(1) Martian Anus
(2) I use my anus
(1) Martin Anus
(1) I use my penis
(1) the fact of almost incestuous breeding
(6) wondering what a half centaur would look like
(1) telling Olive Garden you left all its crap in a box on the sidewalk on your smartphone, leaving out that you kept that sweater that still smells of Olive Garden's musk
(1) wishing you had better computer skills so you could make a "Look at this Braff" Nickelback video
(3) that time you tried making Kento a wedding cake for his birthday and it all ended in tears
(1) twelfth of never on the sand
(2) love cuts just like a knife
(2) Air China receives criticism in the United Kingdom after it releases an advertisement warning passengers from visiting areas of London populated by blacks, Indians and Pakistanis
(2) the only fruit juice you had on han was Naked Green Machine
(4) The American popstar Madonna agrees on a settlement with her former consort Guy Ritchie over their heir
(1) the Imgurian daguerreotype of the horny podcaster
(6) Rob Schneider doesn't count
(3) fuck marry kill, Ash, Brock, Misty
(1) fuck marry kill, Jessie, James, Meowth
(2) learning just now that there's just one d in sodomizing
(1) which active actors have eaten the most cock in the past decade
(1) which active actors have eaten the most cod in the past decade
(2) wanting to double check with your low key girlfriend from when you were sixteen that she did not in fact get pregnant and never tell you, because maybe being a deadbeat absent dad is better than being forever alone
(10) Females are fifty percent more likely than males to switch hands while masturbating
(291) turtles
(109) your boobs buying food on ebay
(10) forgetting sarah marshall
(21) meeting Brian Peppers
(1) Apple Colon give us your fuckin' money
(1) An Ohio entrepreneur has filed an application to trademark the name of Harambe
(4) After she sent him a cartoon image of a pump bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues, he responded with a graphic, homemade text and emoji image of an ejaculating penis
(1) wondering whether Trump was bragging or y'know actually bragging about shooting a man in the middle of fifth avenue
(3) incendio
(2) fuck marry kill, Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie, Hayden Christensen
(3) fuck marry kill, Kento, Brian Peppers, Sylvia Browne
(3) reading a crap book about ready made Hebrews
(1) fuck marry kill, Lauren Tom, Kiana Tom, Tom of Finland
(1) delicious artisanal sandwiches
(2) using an oil based lubricant during really hot sex
(2) it you cut down the tree the hedges get more light
(9) what some people jack off to
(32) that Kento's birthday passed a week ago and you didn't even have a chance to make him a sandwich
(1) believing you can fly
(2) fuck marry kill, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle
(2) punching Sister Beech
(1) fuck marry kill, Harambe, Binti Jua, Jambo
(2) wondering what the worst thing anybody has ever written is
(4) fuck marry kill, eighteen year old Kento, twenty eight year old Kento, thirty eight year old Kento
(1) swimming in the same tank as Kento
(2) sleeping in the same bed as dago
(1) Oliveira booted the teen out of the room they were sharing at the Olympic Village in Rio so she could enjoy a "marathon sex session" with Brazilian canoeist Pedro Goncalves
(2) Pregnant Women Warned to Stay Away From Big Willie
(4) sleeping in the same bed as a dog
(2) wondering whether you would rather have a bisexual fourway with a wookiee, another guy and Princess Leia in a garbage masher on the detention level or get banged by Dickgirl Padme in the middle of the Dune Sea, without a reacharound
(1) fuck marry kill, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman
(1) fuck marry kill, Kim Il sung, Kim Jong il, Kim Jong un
(1) fuck marry kill, Kim Kardashian, Kim Cardassian, Nicolas Kim Coppola
(1) fuck marry kill, Fatworld Jewel, Dickgirl Jewel, and John Carpenter's The Thing Jewel
(4) fuck marry kill, Courtney Cox, Brian Cox, and Myke Hawke
(1) wondering what Bear Grylls spent so much money on that he still has to eat nutsacks
(2) wondering what Courtney Cox spent so much money on that she still has to work
(2) not eating the fucking rice
(1) Pokemon Extraordinarily Long Penises and Gonopores
(3) gonopores
(2) The entire refrigerator was smeared with what appeared to be a sludge of some sort, varying in color from red to yellow to black
(2) Kento came in and wrote one one seven seven three two and someone else with real feelings came in and regretted heart to hearts and there may have been an australian
(2) breasts
(1) I guess we'll both be spending a week whale watching
(1) not being able to stop Kento putting radiation in little retarded kids' gonads
(2) wondering whether you would rather have sex with Dickgirl Jewel or Fatworld Jewel, but not knowing whether your desire to spoon Jewel's boobs would outweigh your love of women by the pound
(3) wondering whether you would rather Eiffel Tower David Cameron with dickgirl Rachel Stevens, or be Eiffel Towered by dickgirls Cameron Diaz and Rachel Stevens
(2) really wishing you'd spent the past few years learning how Adobe Audition works and putting together odd little tracks instead of you know jerkin it to all that porn and such
(1) Californian Mayor Accused of Playing Pork Stripe With Minor at Youth Camp
(2) testing a hypothesis
(2) delivering Kento's package
(2) once the dj lets it spin it'll penetrate your skin
(5) As part of the Wiggles, Fatt became one of the "most popular Asian performers in the world"
(1) rumour swept London that a pig faced woman was living in Marylebone
(2) it's no wonder he struggles to grasp the bigger picture

search regrets

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (356)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]