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he gets back on a straightaway, showing off a seemingly supernatural speed?
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recent regrets

you can, just, get blown up and tortured, get blown up and tortured
you don't, have, to live like a refugee, don't have to live like a refugee
that to be honest when you hear the word "refugees" you do get a little bit angry and distrustful of the intentions of those it represents, but only because you had to listen to all those Fugees records back in the nineties
Agent Double O Seven infiltrates the northern French coast to destroy a camp filled with nefarious rapefugees
I haven't seen any of the Bourne films so I can't comment
he does not stop
Jason Bourne wakes from a coma with no idea of who he is or where he received all his weapons training or how he managed to maintain a gym honed physique and immediately starts shooting everybody
wondering what kind of tone postTrump Bourne films will take
Agent Double O Seven is in another country living it up because he was apparently very rich all along, that's how you know he's better than you
Agent Double O Seven is sent to the Land of the Dead to reassure the Skeleton King that his daughter is safe as Queen of Little England
basically the same but the targets will be smaller and the women will be 'beautiful'
Agent Double O Seven is sent to Truro to disrupt unification talks with the New Gaelic Republic
Agent Double O Seven is on a mission to Scotland when he discovers a breakaway sect in the North of England is receiving funds from there, so he murders half of Northumberland with a variety of overpowered and outlandish weapons to punish the conspiracy
TELL Yukio Miyachi EVERYTHING
Ask Yukio Miyachi Anything
that you worry quite a bit that you may actually resemble Stephen Fry
that you worry you may actually resemble Stephen Fry quite a bit
Agent Double O Seven is tasked to prevent an assassination attempt on a failed real estate mogul turned failed reality TV star turned orange skinned Presidential candidate but is all like I don't give a fuck
Agent Double O Seven rushes to stop a Serbian warlord from staging false flag terrorist attacks in Rome, but is detained for twelve hours at Calais for discrepancies in his paperwork
wondering what kind of tone postBrexit Bond films will take
[ show all 116301 regrets ]

recent comments

(2) not, "per woman", that would be stupid, there's only one and a half gallons in each woman on average
(2) wondering if there is a special term for fisting two menstruating women at once
(1) Time Travelling Kento coming back to have sex with himself
(2) remember Trump, he's back, in GOP form
(8) checking this site after many, many years
(2) do you have any idea how much it costs to qualify as a padawan, let alone a Jedi Knight
(1) He liked to post innocent looking links that led to a photo of a My Little Pony doll he had jerked off on
(2) you should legally change your middle name to something really British like Crumpet or Boris or Benny Hill or something
(1) for me it's always going to be NPor, closely followed by RSte and EJac
(4) it's also possible that I might just change my mind one day for no real reason
(3) holding a party for Kento's birthday at the Sheraton Addis in the Omo Room
(4) that everyone keeps invoking a divorce analogy for Brexit, and you wish they would use something more appropriate, like, say, two dogs gradually decoupling after the knotting subsides
(1) going to that Sausage Festival
(2) Rick Moranis
(1) Five Hospitalized After Tony Robbins Urges Them to Walk Over Hot Coals
(2) Starsuckers
(2) wondering why it is that whenever an American newspaper seeks celebrity comments on an issue related to the UK they always cite JK Rowling first, and wondering if the Biritsh public likewise holds Ms Rowling's opinions in such esteem
(1) Donald Trump praises Scots for "taking back control of their country" by voting overwhelmingly to remain in the EU
(4) Pokemon Life As a House and Star Wars
(1) the two cartoon dicks JMW Turner painted on The Slave Ship
(1) that coming five or six times in about thirty hours makes it so difficult to masturbate
(2) straddling Kento and pounding his bottom
(4) naming your daughter Rooney
(1) screwing everything up so badly
(2) the incident has left me feeling tainted and worried that if I am caught short in similar circumstances there maybe someone hiding in the bushes filming me
(1) learning to say 'where is the bathroom' in every language so that when people ask if you speak any given language you can say "I don't know much, but I know 'where is the bathroom', that may be all I need to know"
(2) believing in god
(13) President Housekeeping, starring Hulk Hogan
(3) being perceived as a joke
(1) wondering whether Angel Colon is the gayest name possible
(1) your diet of verbal abuse and walrus spoff
(1) that wikipedia claims Eminem made extensive use of the feminine rhyme scheme in his early work, no homo
(1) you die of unspecified illnesses
(1) having a surfeit of lampreys in the bathroom at church
(5) being resigned to urine, Eminem, death
(2) really wishing journalists would write "his passion became aroused" instead of "he got angry"
(3) that you will probably not live for very much longer
(1) wondering how Kento writes his name in kanji
(7) wondering which will come first, reaching one hundred thousand regrets or Kento having sex
(1) feeling like you need to sleep with one eye open
(5) that you'd like to connect in an incredibly egotistical way with people but it's difficult on the regret index when there's years of pornographic lore built up around you even in your absence because nobody buys your narcissistic bullshit
(1) noting that it seems that Kento and rachel often show up at the same time and suspecting once again that they are the same person
(2) Kenchel
(1) it's hard to grasp
(1) remembering rachel as being legitimately great and wondering how it could be that she's still hanging around the regret index so much after so many years when she could do better
(2) demanding respect from a machine
(2) being the second most voted on regret, but only being the fourth most discussed slash spammed on regret
(5) being glad that Kento liked your regret about electroplating pennies
(1) V for Vladimir Putin
(1) my recollection is that she assumes the main character's identity after his death
(2) touching Leighton Meester's shit
(2) putting the ass in Jurassic Park
(1) Oasis
(1) any damsel that's in distress be outta that dress when she meet Jim West
(2) comments that make no sense
(3) shaving my head for this
(3) drawing a picture of a group of homosexual tearful Texans pulling down their pants after seeing Kento cross the border
(2) they travel in herds
(2) shaving my legs for this
(5) Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris 'have broken up' after XV months together, British man still doesn't know who either of them are or why this matters
(4) we're buddies
(1) we're bullies
(2) Go Ikeda alone having orally serviced over seven thousand men since the typhoon hit
(1) Donald 'Three Wolf Moon' Trump
(4) Donald 'Four Cock Mouth' Trump
(1) the terrifying prospect of being governed by people who think life is like the Wacky Races and what some people need is a good boulder dropped on their heads to sort them out
(3) that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them
(3) hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes
(1) wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
(2) this is a California Cheeseburger
(1) this is a rat burger
(1) honestly, fuck Sting
(1) loving Canada
(1) sniffing markers
(1) A raid is underway at Google's
(2) being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order
(1) being the map
(1) windowless vans
(8) that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more
(1) a California Cheeseburger
(1) The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed
(3) your body is a Disneyland
(1) the way that people at Wikinews pretend like they're actually journalists
(1) people who say 'eff' instead of 'fuck'
(1) that cut scene from THX OneOneThreeEight in which LUH ThreeFourOneSeven closes the bathroom cabinet too quickly and severs her other hand in the door
(1) Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump
(1) Twin Boob Jobs #Two
(3) jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt
(1) getting a job at Kento Burger
(1) getting a job as a Kento buggerer
(1) your gums getting sensitive when you have your penis gnawed
(1) Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots'
(2) ranking your meat
(1) Dipsy
(1) Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
(7) not going all the way
(1) enjoying Patty Duke
(3) if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it
(5) Collingwood Art Dolls
(1) The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good

search regrets

Look for regrets involving

top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
[ show more ]

bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
telling the Philippines authorities that Kento is a drug mule (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

turtles (4882)
being a minimalist (4567)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4418)
not having met ryan north (4257)
Kento (4240)
[ show more ]