Do you regret
trying to decide which of your writings you should submit to the Brad Loaf Writers' Conference, and realizing that you should really write more?
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recent regrets

In an appearance at the University of Chicago on Monday, former President Barack Obama unloaded a relentless barrage of complete sentences in what was widely seen as a brutal attack on his successor, Donald Trump
musky, manly ladies
who needs empathy, human characters, good action, or witty banter when you can just leer at a woman from behind while she rewards an unworthy character with musky, manly, lady objectifying sex
wondering when we're finally going to get the BJ and the Bear reboot, most likely starring the Rock
Carrie Fisher taquitos
Debbie Reynolds vaquitas
you can take all the tea in China
fuck marry kill, Burt Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds
it's just the bear', that simple bear', forget about your worries and your strife
fuck marry kill, BJ, the Bear, a bear'
sitting around eating Kit Kats and Nik Naks because you're knackered, kid
fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
the death of Aunty Fee
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Insemination
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I Hardly Know 'Er!
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Star Trek Colon Nemesis
bottoming for Tom Hardy in Black Cock Down
[ show all 126260 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) fuck marry kill, Maureen Flannigan, Donna Pescow, Burt Reynolds
(1) fuck marry kill, Staci Keanan, Paul Reiser, Greg Evigan
(2) I want the BEST WOMAN, but I need the WORST CAT
(2) freezing a lump of peanut butter in secret, just to see what would happen
(1) sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm
(4) Donald Trump's lawyers have argued that protesters "have no right" to "express dissenting views" at his campaign rallies because it infringes on the US President's First Amendment rights
(1) putting a little false foreskin on your penis when you disguise yourself
(2) losing your dinosaur at a Virginity Jr concert
(2) voting yes or no on this regret
(3) not actually knowing what happens with menstruation in Star Trek, like is there a magical pill you take and it just stops or what
(1) seriously craving some Burger King, but not trusting the one by your house since he asked if you have a sister and whether she was "fun"
(3) def twins homo menage
(3) I don't think that's going to make the deli girl like you
(1) Report Colon Stephen Fry to Fist Prince William with Gay Rights Petition at BAFTAs
(2) chinnery
(5) face ass take on, The British Bulldog, Darth Vader, Kento
(1) the death of an eight year old child in Twickenham in MMXIII, who collided with a player of British bulldog while playing a different game
(1) that we're almost out of people born in the nineteenth century
(1) Utah judge calls ex Mormon ROOK convicted of rape a 'good man'
(1) managing to miss picture day almost every year in high school, and not being in any clubs, so that you weren't really in your yearbooks at all
(1) wondering if anyone has actually tried some of the sex acts listed on Urban Dictionary
(1) The posting notes that the assailant was "bouta fight her," followed by several emojis indicating that a person was laughing so hard she was crying
(3) constantly cumming in Constance Cummings
(3) pink mutt pubes
(1) having literally never heard of Robert Irvine until just now, cheerio
(1) I thought you'd stopped that chopshop body mutilation stuff
(4) Oscar asking if he can show you his cock
(2) saying "I just finished licking a pussy,,, and boy do I have a lot of hair in my mouth!" as a joke thinking the "hair in my mouth" would make people come to the comedic realization that you were licking a cat, totally forgetting vulvae have hair too, oops
(1) that you once wrote "bite my shiny metal ass" into a four hundred year old book, just because you could
(1) taking your best girl out to dinner at Chuck E Cheese
(1) Sopor Moroo Bros
(6) wondering what it is like to be a female celebrity and know that at any given moment there are at least several hundred guys masturbating to you
(2) SPOILER ALERT Kento dies after getting Eiffel Towered by Lex Luthor and the Death Star
(1) Kento requires full rectal reconstruction after being Eiffel Towered
(1) kissing that boy in Ithaca
(1) replicator meat
(2) not knowing offhand when babies begin teething
(4) having redundant sexual organs
(12) not being able to finish anything you've ever started
(2) meating J's wife, then finishing off on J's mom
(1) monstrous pike
(2) hearing Lose Yourself playing over the speakers in a supermarket and wondering if it is part of a subliminal ad campaign to boost spaghetti sales
(1) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly
(5) fmk, JLH, SMG, JTT
(1) Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs Worth $five Million
(2) registering 'my dick is ten inches long' as a trademark
(4) I'm really sorry about that, we really should have dealt with this by now
(1) divas can at least sing
(1) not choosing the wagon life
(1) not choosing the vegan life
(1) Mr Freeze
(1) laughing as you hew a rough wooden dildo for Mary Chapin Carpenter
(1) fuck marry kill, Princess Madeleine, Tinky Winky, Steve Harwell
(10) having sex with Oasis
(3) wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated being Eiffel Towered by Chris Lydon and a walrus
(1) wondering how long you stay conscious after being decapitated
(1) having a cardboard booty
(2) not realising that the best way to get a British bird to drop her knickers is to do bottomlessly stupid things, crikey
(2) trying to conceive of the enormity of a crime or series of crimes that would mandate incarceration for a billion years
(1) Orly
(1) that the fifth Google result for "Bicoid Babe" is "Bicoid Babe's asshole fountain"
(8) it's still better than having him sucking on your left one until you have a breastgasm
(2) the two ingredients of squirming babies
(1) replacing all vowels with o
(1) Pool McCortnoo ond Wongs
(2) facefucking Kento
(6) do you have a plan or do you just like to watch me like a zoo animal
(1) wondering if Woody Allen and Roman Polanski hang out much imagining Bill Cosby's jello slicked O face looming over you
(3) I am hardly a suing person, and yet that just got my goat
(1) David Dees
(1) just now realizing that you probably could have just poisoned the tea that you gave Obi Wan and Qui Gon, which they eagerly and willingly drank without so much as sniffing it, rather than trying to gas them
(4) making it with a redhaired girl in a Chevrolet
(4) but apparently you hate that
(1) Twin Long Ronnies #Two
(1) In snooker, swapping the cue from one hand to the other in order to gain easy access to an oblique shot was long thought to be disrespectful, though more recently it has come to be accepted, especially since Ronnie O'Sullivan has dominated the world game
(1) National Orgasm Day
(1) fuck marry kill, FDR, JFK, LBJ
(1) USA
(1) I, Zach Assymoth
(4) that if you fuck Kento the only option is to kill yourself
(2) fuck marry kill, Jewel with poisonous breasts that lactate acid when she gets excited, Emma Watson but naked she's like a Barbie with no genitalia and weird articulation points, young Julie Newmar but you're a child and she's a pedophile who abuses you
(2) fuck marry kill, fatworld Ellie Jackson, dickgirl Rachel Stevens, hirsute Emma Watson
(1) watching Black Mirror because of the pig thing but being three episodes in and thinking it's much less clever than it thinks it is
(1) realising that Juche has taken a hold of you and you have come to see Kim Jong il and Kim Jong un as the same Glorious Leader
(1) I agree but where are we going to find an animal with a large enough jaw
(1) The Bee Movie trailer but every time Cher tweets the volume increases lOO%
(1) Meowth that's right!
(1) Ki Adi Mundi
(6) fuck marry kill, a Vulcan, a Klingon, a Romulan
(1) wondering whether the abdominal pain you've been experiencing is a sign of Kentometriosis
(2) this extra who just has POOOOOOOOP written on her clothing
(1) excellent
(2) furry calk milk, Jenny , Sleigh Hero, Lewd Cunt
(1) she orders that coffee be boiled for five days, ready for their anniversary
(2) fuck marry kill, Winona Ryder, Ariel Winter, Jewel
(3) fuck marry kill, Garfield, Bob Geldof, the Bangles
(1) fuck marry kill, James A Garfield, Andrew Garfield, Garfield
(1) misleading the Senate, that's a paddlin'
(8) making a neutral face

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
banging a Tim Burton heroine (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2760/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (357)
turtles (291)
your boobs buying food on ebay (109)
the death of Sylvia Browne (70)
not getting circumcised (63)
[ show more ]