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recent regrets

dead boys dead boys, what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they cum for you
dead boys are out of the question
All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy or a dead girl and we are away
ohhh
new offensive colin pokemon
seeing the headline "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon spokesman" and reading it as "US led coalition troops assisting Kurds in new offensive colon pokemon"
livetweeting the death of tiny tiger
livetweeting the death of integrity
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam SERIOUSLY GUYS PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT HERE BECAUSE I'M CONSIDERING THIS AND NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S WORTH IT
on the bright side, not having to choose between a homeless transsexual prostitute or a septuagenarian sado polyamorist blowhard and his team of WAM bondage sex walruses
don't even THINK about Jewel, she's mine
having to give up your bachelor ways and choose between Elly Astin, Rachel Stevens' arse, and Fatworld Natalie Portman
tweeting to Elly Jackson that she is your scanty clam
it was good
I don't mind
fucking up an anagram and it looks like you cheated
wondering what kind of jackass interrupts their Sunday morning cunnilingus ritual to write anagrams
Myke Hawke the Marmalizer
cheating on an anagram
wondering whether a card which simply reads "You are my scanty clam, eh" would be a good idea
[ show all 115128 regrets ]

recent comments

(3) that you, a sado polyamorist, have bondage, latex, and wam fetishes and tied your significant others up in catsuits then whipped them viciously while a slave poured gallons of thick gloopy translucent or opaque messy substances on them
(3) hearing about those horse meat infused burgers being sold in the UK, and becoming curious about how horse tastes
(1) wondering if a barbecue with Myke Hawke is all fresh killed bison cut apart with a hunting knife, scavenged tubers and roadkill, or brisket and hotdogs marinated in soda
(2) this is a California Cheeseburger
(1) this is a rat burger
(1) honestly, fuck Sting
(1) loving Canada
(1) sniffing markers
(1) A raid is underway at Google's
(2) being Eiffel Towered by all of the walruses in the water park in order
(1) being the map
(1) windowless vans
(8) that you were honestly kind of relieved when it looked like the regret index was broken because it meant you didn't have to think about things like Jonathan Frakes peeing on Patrick Stewart's head any more
(1) a California Cheeseburger
(1) The next thing I know, I'm on the floor and my arms are paralyzed
(3) your body is a Disneyland
(1) the way that people at Wikinews pretend like they're actually journalists
(1) people who say 'eff' instead of 'fuck'
(1) that cut scene from THX OneOneThreeEight in which LUH ThreeFourOneSeven closes the bathroom cabinet too quickly and severs her other hand in the door
(1) Jennifer Lawrence reveals the two words she wants to say to Donald Trump
(1) Twin Boob Jobs #Two
(3) jerking off with a crusty semen stained sock up your butt
(1) getting a job at Kento Burger
(1) getting a job as a Kento buggerer
(1) your gums getting sensitive when you have your penis gnawed
(1) Queen Elizabeth II caught on camera calling Chinese officials 'faggots'
(2) ranking your meat
(1) Dipsy
(1) Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles
(7) not going all the way
(1) enjoying Patty Duke
(3) if there were a John Astin Elly Jackson sex tape, I'd literally pay money to see it
(5) Collingwood Art Dolls
(1) The lady just looked at me, looked at my writing of mysterious formulae, and concluded I was up to no good
(5) trying to watch Open Windows but thinking you might turn it off because you've never seen a Sasha Grey film before and you're not really in the mood for double anal
(1) a beautiful summer's day
(1) Meaty the Cock Elf
(1) spurious precision
(1) writing crappy dialogue
(4) guessing that if the first page of google results for your name contains more than one video of you getting double penetrated, saying that you went through some "rough times" is probably insufficient
(1) being too sexy for your car
(1) Raccoon Tit Rape Inn
(1) Iran Contraception
(2) Tupac Shakur's mom dies
(2) wondering how big an anal ring needs to be to be considered "huge"
(3) inimically toothy sex ho
(3) Kate Upton losing her extremities to frostbite
(1) they're the worst
(4) wondering what the official butt rape tune of the Trump campaign is
(4) going to the mall and seeing a ten foot high poster for The Huntsman Colon Winter's War that had a huge picture of Liam Gallagher or whatever the fuck the name of the star is, and his "armor" appeared to be made of the same leather as women's purses
(5) eating moldy chocolate
(1) confusing hanukkah with bukkake
(2) wondering how a kid could possibly earn pesos
(4) that you like your women like you like your coffee, male
(1) wondering which will prove the better movie, Teen Wolf Too or Mr Magorium's Whorehouse and Toystore
(3) tell me your skype
(16) She neglects to mention that her grandson's withered, inbred cock lacked the power to successfully impregnate a woman naturally
(3) that the NYC police used to famously extort more money in fines from prisoner by posting "PLEASE DO NOT EXPECTORATE" signs all over the cells, a word spitting Irish toughs couldn't possibly be expected to know
(2) that intelligence generally has an inverse correlation with social skills
(5) British government pooh poohs winning 'Boaty McBoatface' name for ship
(4) it gives a woman the firm fanny of a twelve year old
(5) Nuclear Man
(2) tonight there's going to be a jail break, somewhere in this town
(6) not asking her out again, when she would have said yes the second time
(1) wondering if it is still rape if you go back in time and prevent it from ever happening but retain the memory like in tv shows where they time travel
(3) considering building a time machine in order to travel back in time and bang Lea Thompson but then realizing her daughter is way hotter
(1) I'm going to assume that you died
(7) I already have one, I'm not even using it, would you like it
(2) provocative and emotional pokemon
(1) provocative and emotional lesbos
(5) Big Fucking Gonads
(1) wondering what kind of things you often write so that "buggererbig" is in your autofill
(1) regrets, perod
(3) not getting your nice shoes cleaned after the orgy
(4) ITS A TRAP!
(1) M Knight Shyamalan
(2) that the swan regrets are not funny, stop it please
(1) that apparently it's okay to photoshop dicks into the mouths of some women but not others
(3) drawing a picture of Chris Lydon knotting inside Kento after oral intercourse
(3) Kento needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine, whenever Kento is not being posted about, all the other posters need to be asking "where's Kento"
(3) running on childrens panties time
(1) I'm gonna call you Charlie Brown
(4) the death of Amy Johnson
(8) not having any self esteem
(3) being froward
(1) I can't even put a finger on Uranus
(1) seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years
(3) seeing Demi Moore identified in an article as "the GI Jane star" then looking up her on imdb and realizing that her career has been dead for almost twenty years
(2) filling the bath tub with your own fecal matter and drowning a man in it
(1) Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eye are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye
(1) inexplicably weeping while touching a little girl down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain
(1) the idea that what we're doing right now is really remarkable or important just because, as far as we know, we haven't done it before
(7) constantly eating from a bag of lollies and being unable to stop
(1) Mortal Kombat Two Colon Annihilation
(2) having non consensual sex with a spring onion
(1) knowing that a swan still loves a woman, hoo, and a woman still loves a swan
(1) His brother Khalid blew himself in the Brussels subway
(5) the random regret generator is giving you blank regrets to vote on
(1) that's a helluva penis
(1) Frank Gaffney and Glenn Beck insist that COOKIE MONSTER Norquist is secretly a terrorist aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood and, for that reason, should be banished from the National Rifle Association's board

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
the goddamn deliberately disabled modems Earthlink sent out to customers in the early aughts, cannot enable DHCP without "paying" extra, and using PPoE plus a router with DHCP disables streaming video, FU Earthlink (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
regrets about pony blowing (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

turtles (4882)
being a minimalist (4567)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (4416)
Kento (4240)
learning all the elements in the periodic table in order (4137)
[ show more ]