Do you regret
trying to work out from the advertisements who the fuck actually watches TV these days, and suspecting that it's people aged forty to sixty five who wish they had less money and more youth?
yes    no    haven't done it yet

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recent regrets

Kentomari Deviancy
they got cars big as bars, they got rivers of gold
bottoming for Jessica Ten D Cells and Hume Cramin in #batteries now inserted
coming from a universe that had a #batteries not included sequel
Vera Coking later attributed her victory over Mr Trump to "the Fix Its"
Mr Trump, with the help of the city, tried to use eminent domain against the woman, Vera Coking, when she refused to sell
A dark blue stone resembling a diamond was found at the scene
Bill Clinton unloads on Bernie Sanders
cutting off a groin hourly
cutting off your dong hair
When he fuck me bad, I take his ass to Steak n Shake
if he fuck you good, take his ass to Red Lobster, if he fuck you bad, I'm not really sure, something about elimination, I guess just yell "You're fired!" at him
When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster
Drill My Gay Stepson!
fucking your Penn State date like a decade early and then not showering off
fucking your Valentine's date like a week early and then not showering off
fucking your Valentine's date like a week early and then not showing up
as if preparing to order a big plate of sardines
that "I am angry with you" and "I am in Kodiak all weekend" are the same silence
Record Holder Profile Video Colon Kurt J Mac and the longest journey in Minecraft
[ show all 110972 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) cutting off a groin hourly
(3) cutting off your long hair
(2) Drill My Gay Stepson!
(7) wondering if using pinto or black beans in chili will make it taste any different than chili with kidney beans
(1) horse to meet you
(1) they were both convinced that the innocuous looking, state run Milk Marketing Board and Egg Marketing Board were actually the enemies of freedom
(1) watching Perfect Body and feeling like it would have been improved by a scene in which Andie attacks a mirror, believing she is a bag of Doritos, mortally wounding herself just prior to winning Olympic gold
(2) Which Leonardo DiCaprio Character Is Your Soulmate
(2) that pictures can be hung, but people are always hanged
(1) eating two huge slices of beef pizza
(1) seeing a photo on wikipedia and wanting to give it the alternate title of "The Evolution of Guys Who Hang Around Children's Playgrounds Too Much"
(4) being cancelled with a mild but acceptable cliffhanger, then being brought back through the efforts of your fans and to show your thanks, giving said fans an even more frustrating cliffhanger in a bid for more episodes which obviously won't be made
(3) mashing the sack on a table with a hammer, BAMBAMBAM
(1) Terrorists caught in bikinis after performing bizarre midnight drag routine in the jungle
(5) learning all the elements in the periodic table in order
(7) the death of Sylvia Browne
(3) that, okay, to be honest your natural reaction to any kind of interaction initiated by the opposite sex is to consider forming a crush on them
(3) Raydiation
(1) unwittingly accepting an invitation to listen to nine sixth form girls talking about their bra sizes followed by the two next to you having a lesbian affair
(1) Homos with meat
(1) that the world will end in two thousand twelve
(1) introducing the Amazon Prime Regret Index, same day remorse, free and unlimited
(1) thinking you have brain cancer whenever you get a nosebleed
(2) feeding a recurrent neural network with the scripts for every episode of F#R#I#E#N#D#S#
(1) incorrectly guessing Jonathan Avildsen to be a Stunt Man Actor rather than A Terrible Actor Whose Dad Directed The Movie
(3) wondering what did happen to that guy Daniel punched in the face
(3) two grown men fixating on a teenage boy who runs a topiary store with the older man he lives alone with, a boy who can't seem to get a steady girlfriend despite pretty girls throwing themselves at him
(1) who are you his mother
(7) have you already started
(2) Hulk Hogan's skin
(1) accidentally befriending the neighborhood skunk, who now, when she sees you, bounds over to you cheerfully in an alarming way, although it's really quite cute
(5) guessing that you say The Karate Kid II once like maybe the year it came out
(1) wondering whether Home Alone III onward continued the trend in the first two of teaching young children that every creepy old person is actually really nice and has nothing but your best interests at heart
(1) rating the third and fifth installments of Home Alone as the best in terms of acting, the third and first as the most original in terms of story, the first and second the highest in terms of set piece violence and endearing self awareness, and the fourth
(1) the daughter in Home Alone V was also the murderous zombie girl in The Cabin in the Woods
(6) wondering if there is a glory hole equivalent for butt stuff where you just jam your cheeks up against a dinner plate sized hole and wait for people to come and do stuff to you
(1) wanting a Predator vs Independence Day crossover just for the line "welcome to erf GET TO DA CHOPPA"
(2) suggesting the Karate Kid series for your next movie binge, because The Karate Kid III is one of the greatest movies of all time
(2) shaving my ladyparts
(2) wondering how many people ever got a tattoo of shtn Ktchr and how that's working out for them
(2) shton Kutcher's inability to play Ashton Kutcher convincingly
(1) Bono's dog can't get an erection
(1) Earthworms the size of a baby snake, weighing as much as a small mouse, have been discovered on the Isle of Rum
(1) all those bad things we said about Bono a while back
(2) seeing a picture of Henry Kissinger jacking off in the shower over a bruised and bloodied Kento
(1) wondering if Home Alone IV is canon to adamDRIVER
(2) elbowing the president in the face
(1) wondering why you would need orange socks
(1) this is the worst website ever
(3) getting your fist sex girl rants, sir, buying them at the five and dime
(1) wondering why the British version of American Gladiators wasn't called British Gladiators, Cheerio, cheerio
(1) Trump should deport Nikki Haley
(2) Scientists Bust Myth That Our Bodies Have More Bacteria Than Human Cells
(5) wondering whether you would rather have sex with Donald Trump whose brain has been replaced with that of a duck, or a hideous chimeric fusion of David Cameron and Cameron Diaz
(1) sometimes missing taking baths as opposed to showering, because there's nothing quite as satisfying as farting in the bath
(1) Animals are crapping in our houses and we're picking it up! Did we lose a war
(1) not being able to think of a better name for a gay porn star than "Vin Diesel"
(1) the Pope's movie reviews are considered infallible
(1) spending an evening drinking Tropicana, watching Oz and the twentieth episode of season three of TNG for no reason
(2) 'The Movie Where Matt Damon Starves on Another Planet' Wins Comedy Award at Golden Globes
(2) Mr Penn wrote that the drug lord ironically called Mr Trump "Mi Amigo!"
(6) not having anything against Cameron Diaz but seriously wondering how she became the highest grossing actress in US box office history
(1) cushion for the pushin
(4) the murder of Lena al Qasem
(1) finding out that Richard Donner directed "Nightmare are Twenty Thousand Feet"
(2) I have had a golden shower before from a woman and it burned my eyes
(1) feeling like vegetable sex is one of the few areas we have yet to touch on the regret index
(1) I want to fuck you like q mineral
(2) special colon contributions
(1) I'd have called them chazzwazzers
(1) the texture of a sponge cake is heavily influenced by the mixing technique
(2) wondering who the hell eats a four pound cake
(1) stealing Paris Hilton's cake
(2) I get it
(1) Anne Hathaway beats the paparazzi to confirm pregnancy
(1) wondering whether Sesame Street has dialed back Elmo since the Kevin Clash scandal
(1) not being able to make things right
(1) knowing the Foreign Lydon wouldn't even ask
(4) wondering if the Foreign Legion would have you
(4) Man Cheats Credit Score
(1) wellie wanging
(5) happy new year
(2) Chris Lydon Grabs Kento's Crotch in Attempt to Show Paparazzo What He Really Thinks
(1) Michael Jordan Gatorade "Is It In You" Commercial Outtakes!
(3) playing Dungeons & Dragons with a severed penis
(2) she was tearing your teeth out with puckish glee and her inhumanly strong fingers the whole time
(1) hoping that Kento Claus, soaring through the Christmas night sky on his sleigh pulled by a team of flying walruses, delivers lots of depressing, lonely toys to your house this Christmas
(1) I'm not a chick
(2) bottoming for Beef Blastbody in The Fissure King VII
(1) Time labelled the White Castle slider the most influential burger of all time
(3) that apparently performing cunnlingus on Kat Dennings would require watching BOTH Thor movies, which is a commitment I'd rather not make
(3) HEY GUYS STAR WARS REALLY SUCKS LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT
(29) the actress
(1) An MEP from Denmark's centre right ruling party has defected in protest at government plans to seize valuables from refugees to help fund their stay in the country
(2) Han dies
(3) flying back to Kodiak tomorrow and knowing that your family is going to make you go and see Star Wars
(2) all star by smash mouth
(3) guessing that it's intended to highlight how little certain sections of the voting public actually understand of the geopolitics they profess to have solid opinions on
(1) wondering how many unique words appear in Butthumping but not enough to bother counting
(4) wondering how many unique words appear in Tubthumping but not enough to bother counting

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top regrets

kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
not being able to make things right (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12561/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2431/0.0004)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
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most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (4566)
Kento (4239)
turtles (2201)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (691)
your boobs buying food on ebay (681)
[ show more ]