add a new regret How much can you expect to regret ? recent regrets After meating Henry's new girlfriend, Ed realizes he has a strange connection with her After meeting Henry's new girlfriend, Ed realizes he has a strange connection with her slamming Jackson C Frank in the back door when you were a kid slamming your duck in the cat door slamming Jackson C Frank in the car door when you were a kid slamming your duck in the car door using ghee as an intimate lubricant slamming your dick in the car door buying lip balm made by a blue oyster buying lip balm made by a cult the Bicoid Option wondering how hard it would be to start a Shit Cannes Films Festival, showing films that once showed at Cannes but were quickly and rightly forgotten growing accustomed to her looks, accustomed to her voice burning your tongue on that dollar store microwave chimichanga, but being too hungry to care How To Avoid Huge Swans ghetto bus tours How To Avoid Huge Ships the Servant Girl Annihilator playing Hatoful Boyfriend getting your dick wet taking the heaviest dump [ show all 61582 regrets ] recent comments (1) playing Hatoful Boyfriend (2) totally getting what Frank saw in Nancy just from that one picture at the top of her wikipedia page (6) boobs (2) that swans gotta get BACK in tiiiime (1) swans falling in love with helicopters (1) Hugh Anthony Cregg III (3) reading about that guy who died after having sex with a hornet's nest (3) wondering what went wrong in Spambot's All American upbringing that it came to spend so much time here, filled with regret (1) that another recurring gag on Tanks for Nothing would be Kento asking the walrus if it would give him a hand, after which the walrus would clap its hands (1) I dreamt I sacked your mom and she was terribly screwed (1) I dreamt I screwed your mom and she was terrible in the sack (2) being an english major in college (3) quoting every regret as they contain ultimate truth (4) using ghee as an intimate lubricant (1) now understanding the Eiffel Towering regrets as the product of horrific human slash walrus hybrid research conducted by Bicoid Babe (1) thinking that Mentally Disabled Prostitutes would be a good name for a band (1) watching DSnine episodes more than a decade after the show ended and wondering what all the fuss was about (2) having to fuck a midget on your deathbed (2) drinking five margaritas on your lunch break then expecting to be able to spell atfernoon (2) having experienced shower sex (3) not buying a vibrator earlier (1) knapweed broomrape (1) the outstretched hand of the old man cannot be seen by the young man (1) that Noody is uglier than Goose Vilanch (1) partying in a dude's back yard (2) that of course that house centipede won't die when smacked with a ruler, it will fall to the ground and skedaddle, leaving you with no knowledge of where that creepy fucker will show up next, DICKASS (4) that noody like to see a swan with money (1) that the Dramallama Mama would be a recurring character on Tanks for Nothing (5) no longer being able to distinguish fictional pornography from real pornography (1) taking a massive, massive dump (1) not having that conversation (1) drawing a genderbent picture of yourself (2) that it really would be amazing if Chris Lydon turned out to be the perpetrator (1) remembering how shocked you were to learn about oil checking in high school, but that was before you learned that ninety percent of wrestlers are closeted faggots (3) craving some elephant ears, but not knowing where a good Mexican bakery is near your home (3) falling down the stairs (3) that Kento Ikeda is an anagram of "it need a kok" (1) really kind of wanting a Spooge Gun (1) watching a video of a dog eating watermelon (2) that the police were able to catch some wild teens (3) the high number of naughty girls in your area (13) having an idea to market Four Eighteen Thirteen NEVER FORGET t shirts with a picture of a steer with a single teardrop running down its cheek (1) e (3) strongly suspecting that after the things he's already done with Chris Lydon and the walrus, Kento would have absolutely no regrets about having sex with a dead man (1) staying up all night to watch an eighteen year old take the hugest dump online (2) wondering what you can tell me about Newcastle, because you've only met one person from there but she was the dumbest, sluttiest, most ethically and culturally voided person you've met in your life (1) buying tampons at the day old bread store (1) the catapult backfiring and shooting the watermelon into your face (1) that the last time we had external verification that Kento still posts here was when he was begging us to join his stoner forum (11) wondering what Kento did to deserve all the abuse he gets here (1) wasting a Sunday (2) planting a seed in lifeless soil (2) wondering how anyone could have cast Ben Affleck (2) thinking everyone here should listen to Chris Lydon's podcast, "Radio Open Source," and also comment on his blog after listening to some episodes (2) being slain by a fatling (4) that Kento's only chance at female love died with Margaret Thatcher (1) xHwmDwijnMWWIHjuZw (1) eating a poem (1) shooting a guy in the dick (16) that "no hits below the belt" isn't really fair for females because boobs (1) During intercourse, just before ejaculation, the woman bites the head of the mans penis (1) thinking that Kim Jong un is the absolute least qualified person to ever be a head of state in the history of the world, and that's counting the six day old Mary Queen of Scots (1) seeing a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand (12) that the gate to Hell was supposedly found (4) seeing what you thought was a marijuana plant growing by a drainage ditch near one of the main streets in your neighborhood (1) wondering what kind of sexual partner would demand payment for your own sex photos (1) not building enough missile turrets (3) finding a picture of Tim Duncan swimming with a beluga (2) that you really want to feel Go Ikeda inside you (1) thinking the girl on the Squishable dot com banner is cute, then thinking she is jailbait (5) wondering what the male equivalent of a cougar is (1) her rac (1) when you sneeze, your father says "fuck you" instead of "bless you" (17) that for all your adolescent fascination and talk of sleeping with midgets, you actually eventually slept with a midget, it wasn't that great, and you talked about wanting to so much that you doubt anyone today would believe that you got around to doing i (1) Colon, Nebraska (1) rectum (1) that having now learned about "synthetic knives" you may never leave the house again (1) lizardmen building a barricade in the streets of Paris (3) that every time you see your crap swirling around then disappearing into the inky void, you lose a little bit of your soul (1) how frequently walruses are mentioned or appear in futurama (2) that Kento is inscrutable (2) not registering grannywang dot com sooner (1) putting your wife in a headlock every time she gets too annoying (1) that lingering kiss on a CRAZY part of the body (6) getting a tattoo of a woman fellating a horse on your hip (1) holding your goose when you run down the stairs (2) that you can see agenty fifty seven or so having dinosaurish sex on or perhaps near the border of China or possibly Korea and one of the Mongolias, iirc (1) that we can add Rooney Mara to the list of people suing Ryan North for libel on the regret index, for implying that she lacks the set of genital and slash or elimination orifices standard to placental mammals (2) that if you tie enough helium balloons to the turtle, it will simply float around slightly above the ground (3) being unable to continue wearing your hat if you must wear headphones (1) that the fifth Google result for "Bicoid Babe" is "Bicoid Babe's asshole fountain" (1) Danny Mainus (1) getting a job as a fudge packer (1) being the other woman (3) Jamiroquai (1) buying your cap its own seat on a plane because you were worried it would get raped (4) that you actually find Yogurt Man to be a very attentive, if somewhat sticky, lover (3) Three Walrus Moon (2) she comes (3) expecting that report on your desk by ten am tomorrow

search regrets Look for regrets involving top regrets not having that conversation (1.0000) drinking the water in Mexico (1.0000) having all of the fun of a hangover without any of the fun of actually drinking the night before (1.0000) that, okay, to be honest your natural reaction to any kind of interaction initiated by the opposite sex is to consider forming a crush on them (1.0000) how quickly time seems to pass (1.0000) [ show more ] bottom regrets spooning Jewel's boobs (0.0000) Bicoid Babe (0.0000) Zooey Deschanel looks like a sandblasted Lucy Lawless (0.0000) using ghee as an intimate lubricant (0.0000) slamming your dick in the car door (0.0000) [ show more ] most voted regrets meeting Brian Peppers (12077/0.9998) turtles (2442/0.0004) that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2334/0.5070) breasts (1438/0.0135) taking the hugest dump (1324/0.8725) [ show more ]