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Dan complainting like a whiny shewoman?
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recent regrets

You eat the blue turducken, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe, you eat the red turducken, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes
there is no spoon, just use your hands
entering the fatrix
wondering if our entire reality is just internet wankfuel for a world in which women weigh fifty pounds
fatworlds all the way down
nested fatworlds
wondering what people who live in fatworld call it and whether they fantasise about skinnyworld or whether they imagine quite naturally a world where the women all weigh upwards of a long tonne
Man! I feel like a Jackman
Santa with Muscles but Only on His Chest and Arms, Don't Look at His Legs
imagining an alternate reality in which Hugh Jackman played a series of thinly disguised idealised personas before ending his career with a racist sex tape, and Hulk Hogan won an Oscar for his singing, and all women weigh over five hundred pounds
imagining an alternate reality in which Hugh Jackman played a series of thinly disguised idealised personas before ending his career with a racist sex tape, and Hulk Hogan won an Oscar for his singing
wondering why there is no superhero named Jackman, and who would play Jackman in the movie if there were one
Hugh Jackman cheese
huge anus cheese
huge anus chess
Janus chess
Still Crazy After All These Buttocks
Take Back the Buttocks
starting a change dot org petition to force the scientific community to change the name "spermine" to "swanthol"
[ show all 107668 regrets ]

recent comments

(2) rape
(1) rook takes buttocks, check and mate
(1) turtle ships
(1) reading comments on the internet anywhere, ever
(1) The brawl continued backstage with Cool and Jesus eventually getting in a car and speeding out of Gund Arena
(1) being the hardest man in Ireland
(1) having never seen any of the new Batman films because they came out after Star Wars Colon Episode II Colon The One That Made You Stop Wanting to Go to Movies
(2) putting off seeing like thirty movies with one actor in common for almost a decade, even though most of them were at least kind of OK and some were really very good
(2) la Setmana Tragica turtles
(2) Kento being banned from the Regret Index
(2) wondering if it's too late to keep Alicia Silverstone in a curio cabinet so that you may marvel at her at your own leisure
(2) Pennsylvania Court Says Alien Romps Aren't Public Records
(7) wondering which you would choose given the option of either speed dating everyone on your Celebrity Bang List with the ability to mix and match, or cruising around on a luxury yacht all day with no more than ten of them
(3) bottoming for R Kelley in I Believe I Will Cut You If You Don't Stop Struggling VII
(5) not really understanding the logic of an organization that is going out of its way to make every nation on the planet with nuclear weapons pissed off at them
(2) Sixty One Percent Of Americans Pee In The Shower
(1) If you have a ticket for Wembley on Tuesday then it's time to learn La Marseillaise
(1) playing it til your fingers bled
(5) Colon cells have it rough colon They die off after about four days
(1) Unreclusive Rapist has modified the restraint system on some of the seats to accommodate smaller guests
(1) suspecting that all the spam comments are going to break the 'dex again
(1) Miley Cyrus is Full of Spunk
(1) Look but just wishing someone you showed interest in would and day show interest in you
(4) Ugh I just, I love her, but I get so sick of her sometimes too
(1) the relentless progress of the spambot
(1) Gary Glitter signs to produce soundtrack for Meaty Six Incher Colon The Jared Fogle Story
(1) not realizing that Norfolk was famous for inbreeding, cor blarst me
(2) Salmon milk comes from the males
(1) getting mayonnaise all over your face
(5) Lol no one ever
(1) Miley Cyrus 'Heals Physical and Emotional Pain' With Latest 'Bangerz' Tour Show After Death Of Pet Dog Floyd
(1) the secret sauce of America is innovation and entrepreneurship
(1) Wrecking Ball chatroulette version
(1) Shia LaBeouf Is Watching All His Movies At Angelika Film Center Right Now
(8) Jeb Bush Would Time Travel and Kill Baby Hitler If Given the Chance
(1) having at least three sphincters on your face
(2) that you would totally bang Clarabelle over Minnie any day of the week
(1) giving the chariot to Lucy Lui and Lucy Liu
(1) Lucy Liu kneads dough with boys at a reinsertion center in Goma, Democratic Republic of Congo
(1) going for a four whore drive
(3) thinking that butt chugging was the domain of dumbass frat guys, but realizing that it is actually probably practiced more often by the hopelessly alcoholic
(1) not being a big gay guy
(1) Donald Trump, a billionaire son of New York City, did not make a single charitable donation to any of the not for profit groups that provided aid to survivors, rescue workers, or the families of cops and firemen who died trying to save others
(1) fall over dongs
(1) fold over glans
(3) The pants were meant to say 'animal' but due to a factory error had the word 'anal' on them in large print, just above her bottom
(6) throwing a coin which inadvertently smashed the rear windshield of my teacher's car, btw kinetic energy is a bitch, and got me suspended
(1) Prince George tries to grab a bilby
(27) wondering whether the kids who are, say, three or four years old now will eventually develop their own interests or if they will be cursed to be nothing but proxies for their dumbass manchild fathers' lost youth and be doomed to like Star Wars for eternit
(1) Topless female protesters manhandled after disrupting Islamic conference in France
(2) Kento's nude, dismembered, entirely shaven corpse being found in a locker at a Topeka bus station last Friday
(2) having a sudden impure thought to milk Winona Rider
(1) #fresherelfshitanalgate
(5) I'm going to call you Simon from now on
(1) you're the expert on that
(2) the Islamicisation of Christmas
(1) you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
(11) wondering what happened to YOU to make you hat the french so much
(1) You probably have herpes, the WHO says
(1) tattooing PENIS on your penis
(8) drawing a picture of a female human of indeterminate age with an ass like a ten year old boy having her buttocks spray painted teal by Pikachu and Weedle
(2) Werewolf Colon The Apocalypse
(2) not having peed on Kento's face yet
(6) Watch All of Natalie Portman's Movies for a Chance to Perform Urolagnia on Her!
(1) Cthreepios's enormous erection
(2) hey guys, remember the Scissor Sisters
(2) I should really get some sleep
(2) meeting Brian Knobbs
(226) meeting Brian Peppers
(297) not getting circumcised
(1) shooting your infant child into space
(1) a great and incredible unit of eight individual females brought together by common interests of wine, cheese, and dark chocolate among many other indulgences
(2) taking the chewiest dump
(5) that movies would probably be ten times shorter if the characters didn't do something stupid once in a while
(1) that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the flume out of an anus trope
(2) wondering when and why it became gauche for the ultra rich to employ court dwarfs
(1) Disco Fries
(9) what you do for a living
(1) The kind of situation when you are standing at a urinal looking like your doing something perverted because you can't find the opening to your underwear
(1) wondering how the test went
(3) that Sandra Bullock is the female Jude Law
(2) ONE Rachel Steven, ah, ah, ah, TWO Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah, THREE Rachel Stevens, ah, ah, ah
(2) star whackers
(1) maybe I wanted us to be exclusive, but I was worried about losing you, did you ever think of that
(1) William Hogarth with his Pug, Trump
(4) being dickrolled, if you know what I mean
(1) that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope
(1) Rick Astley is probably not going to be my best friend by Monday afternoon
(1) putting things directly in Squirrel Girl's ass
(1) imagining Her to be a female version of Him from Powerpuff Girls
(7) not being Kento
(2) looking up adult dance classes but never joining one, if you know what I mean
(19) wondering what it is that you do
(1) wondering if the listing of Avril Lavigne on Marilyn Manson's "associated acts" page is vandalism, or if they actually did collaborate on something
(2) ICheckRaise
(4) I know, I voted for them
(3) special effects in Eighties propaganda movies
(1) giant floppy cocks
(10) wondering what the other three countries you've lived in are
(1) poetry, fuck

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top regrets

shows that only have eight episodes per season (1.0000)
bragging about being from West Virginia (1.0000)
kind of loving Gene Hunt, that magnificent bastard (1.0000)
Facing the dodo's conundrum, I felt like I could just fly, but nothing happened every time I tried (1.0000)
insecurity (1.0000)
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bottom regrets

sucking her left one until she had a breastgasm (0.0000)
arresting a king in his own palace (0.0000)
using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
rubbing one out in the bathroom at church (0.0000)
killing the California girls (0.0000)
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most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12560/0.9789)
Kento (2759/0.9993)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
[ show more ]

most discussed regrets

being a minimalist (3655)
turtles (2159)
Kento (1354)
your boobs buying food on ebay (671)
tricking a straight guy into dating another straight guy (663)
[ show more ]