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recent regrets

soft tacos
going down on Bahama Breeze during a trip to your parents'
trust me, you NEED a shower after fucking Eddie V's Prime Seafood
taking a shower after an evening of passion with Eddie V's Prime Seafood, only to hear your phone ring as you're drying off, then walking out to see Eddie V's Prime Seafood holding your phone with a pic of Olive Garden's dick on it
running into LongHorn Steakhouse for the first time since college, getting talking in a bar and ending up back at LongHorn Steakhouse's place getting hot and heavy when LongHorn Steakhouse's roommate walked in and you were all "oh hey Olive Garden"
getting a two am drunk dial from Olive Garden and Olive Garden was screaming so loud that Red Lobster, who was sleeping next to you, could hear it and Red Lobster decided to put his pants on and leave and he hasn't called you in a week
telling Olive Garden you left all its crap in a box on the sidewalk on your smartphone, leaving out that you kept that sweater that still smells of Olive Garden's musk
ordering Olive Garden To Go on your smartphone
samaroid dioramas
shitting in his or her mouth
the stoveOVEN could be received by a man from a god and then transmitted by him to a statue by taking it in his arms
the sa could be received by a man from a god and then transmitted by him to a statue by taking it in his arms
enbabling Firefox addons
Tyttenhanger Green
Patrick Stewart has a surprising number of fake nudes
Chris Lydon
wondering what celebrity ranks number one in the number of terrible fake nude photos people have photoshopped
so basically fuck firefox
I suppose that "overheat" was a poor choice of words because it's not like my computer shut down or even showed signs of slower performance, but it did get super hot and the fan turned on whenever I watch twitch or have some firefox addons enbabled
Harry Potter slash fiction
[ show all 93774 regrets ]

recent comments

(1) wondering if there was something in the recent comments that finally got Ryan a cease & desist letter
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feeling iffy from lithium (1.0000)
forgetting how to brake on an icy bridge and consequently totalling your reliable and beloved car (1.0000)
not realizing until you had wasted lots of time that when your ex said he didn't want a serious relationship, he meant it (1.0000)
your recent accomplishments leaving you feeling spent, used, and broken into smithereens, rather than joyous, celebratory or purposeful (1.0000)
having no way of knowing whether a new friend, a sweet but chaotic nutter, is alive or dead as of this morning, and having to wait thirty six hours to find out for sure (1.0000)
lolcode (1.0000)
failing to come up with a mutually acceptable third person (1.0000)
only barely trying anymore, not trying at all when your clothes are on (1.0000)
watching a British crime drama performed in English but set in Scandinavia in which you are taken out of the action every time the hardboiled cockney gumshoe is paid in kroner (1.0000)
culling the logical conclusion (1.0000)
being a jerky mcjerkface to the ones you love (1.0000)
drinking the water in Mexico (1.0000)
that you were going to buy that Tako piece that Agent FiftySeven made but you didn't because you couldn't (1.0000)
shows or other videos being offered for free on their official websites, but those website not working on your computer for some reasons, and you not being able to find less legit ways of watching said videos, because no one feels the need to repost them (1.0000)
synaptic misfires (1.0000)
being given the cold shoulder (1.0000)
needing a haircut and having a new, competent stylist you like, but really having no idea what you want to do with it (1.0000)
thinking of Kento as your token Asian friend (1.0000)
not minding your own bismuth (1.0000)
that your roommate is home once again, and once again you wish they were elsewhere (1.0000)
being first pleasured, then tortured, then killed by a machine (1.0000)
being bored (1.0000)
watching The Time Traveler's Wife and the Babysitter and the Pizza Delivery Guy and Also a Couple of Black Guys (1.0000)
shamelessly downloading music on your laptop for four years without any problems, but when you update Java on the same laptop that damned XP Antivirus malware slips through and nearly kills it (1.0000)
that if you wash your clothes, you'll have to stay up for another hour to dry them, but if you don't you'll be stinky tomorrow (1.0000)
having a painful eye, as though there were an eyelash or something in it, but not seeing the culprit (1.0000)
walrus ayn rand chris lydon nomos nomoi nomos nomoi nomos (1.0000)
stretching your legs and it feels so good until OH GOD CRAMP (1.0000)
that sometimes it feels like you will never be making enough money to break even, let alone actually get ahead (1.0000)
only having boring DVDs to (1.0000)
screwing Andy (1.0000)
waking up to a high pitched chittering sound coming from outside your window (1.0000)
misplacing your virginity and not being sure where you left it, though it was probably on the bus (1.0000)
that Juggalos are the absolute worst subculture the world has yet to produce, as though they were part of some kind of secret government project to create a genetically engineered Super Retard by combining the DNA of wiggers, rednecks, and goths (1.0000)
hearing thirty seconds of Kung Fu Panda through a closed door and deciding that not only do you not want to watch it, but that you never want to think "panda herpes" again (1.0000)
Fifty Shades of Grey (1.0000)
creating tongueseverance fetish porn without special effects (1.0000)
assuming that lamenting about a problem precludes any action to solve that problem (1.0000)
that rumors of a Sailor Moon movie center around Lindsay Lohan and not Alexis Bledel, I mean duh (1.0000)
telling your best friend that you've been in love with her steady boyfriend for months (1.0000)
that you tried to make a joke, but you bleu it (1.0000)
needing a cash infusion, stat (1.0000)
Gorean "philosophy" (1.0000)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, but never show it, not because it's part of their character but because the author or writers are too dumb (1.0000)
empty, hollow gestures (1.0000)
sitting next to someone who really stinks on the bus (1.0000)
waiting to let Obama jerk off (1.0000)
these bananas being shitty, s h i t t y (1.0000)
watching Eragon OMFG, what a piece of utter ass shit (1.0000)
uninvited implosive bachelor (1.0000)
Sonny John Moore (1.0000)
falling in a bottomless pit (1.0000)
Gwyneth Paltrow too (1.0000)
that sometimes its hard to know which way you're supposed to go (1.0000)
buying Team Fortress Two for your girlfriend (1.0000)
consuming Hardee's products (1.0000)
that you would get a tattoo, and you even know what it would be, if you could think of a place on your body that you liked enough to put it (1.0000)
being a Korean soccer fan now (1.0000)
Evony ads (1.0000)
meeting Brian Peppers (0.9998)
gangnam style (0.9991)
Kento (0.9970)
leaving the remains of that totally awesome chocolate bar you bought earlier in your car in the summer (0.9800)
the "hey guys, remember Jaylala" regret being on the top regrets list (0.9793)
realizing too late (0.9783)
having sex with Arthur Yehezkia (0.9737)
that Ryan is an inconsiderate jerk (0.9726)
only remembering hours later that you should have asked how HER day was (0.9714)
hey guys, remember Jaylala (0.9704)
letting the mildew get that bad (0.9683)
regardless, not knowing how to fly (0.9677)
that according to Wikipedia, Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid television writer and producer in history (0.9661)
spooning Jaylala's boobs (0.9655)
discovering in hindsight that you've been carting around the paranoia of a crappy high school relationship for years, leading you to act like everyone's going to hate you and call you a latent criminal, whereas in fact people trust and like you (0.9655)
not telling her how you really feel (0.9655)
not asking her out before she left forever (0.9643)
looking a gift horse in the mouth (0.9630)
forgetting to reply to correspondence (0.9630)
joining the military (0.9623)
not visiting a place that intrigued you before it closed or was demolished (0.9615)
telling him to go away when really you wanted him to hold you in his arms and make everything okay (0.9615)
leaving your passport in your pocket before doing the laundry (0.9615)
That there are no dashes on here, and therefore no good way to spell that oh so important Ryan alter ego T rex (0.9600)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9600)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9583)
Horatio (0.9583)
spray on tans (0.9583)
not being able to get up the courage (0.9583)
staying on the Internet until the sun rises again, even though you have school or work in the morning (0.9583)
giving your email to that sketchy website (0.9574)
really wanting to see some movies back when they were in the theater, and still not having seen them now that they are way past being on DVDstill having not seen (0.9565)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9565)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9565)
coming up with the perfect comeback, but only when it's far too late to use it (0.9565)
assuming people on the internet would know when you were joking (0.9545)
not getting the reference (0.9545)
delicious foods that are far too hot to eat, ands arren't cooling down fast enough (0.9545)
that your father asked you to help him find an external harddrive to store his porn collection (0.9545)
feeling kind of weird that all of the sudden you have such a strong interest in finding someone who could have easily just emailed you had she wanted to (0.9545)
not being sure where in your room that rotten food smell suddenly started coming from (0.9545)
oh my god, when did you stop being able to use the proper "too", it's late, you should maybe consider sleeping (0.9524)
blah blah blah angst angst blah blah (0.9524)
that you started using IDK, BB, DIAF and the like ironically, but they've just kind of stuck (0.9500)
only having crushes where you've resigned yourself to the fact that they will never work out (0.9500)
having no food (0.9500)
trying to make your calculator say OBOESHOES but failing because you can't fit the ninth digitletter (0.9500)
leaving the burner on (0.9500)
teh sneeze that revealed your presence (0.9500)
eating part of the sandwich before spotting the mold (0.9500)
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (0.9500)
not learning more languages while your brain still could (0.9487)
telling her you loved her that one time t new years eve when you should just have kissed her instead (0.9474)
mistakenly typing, for the first time every in your language nazi LIFE, the word "your" instead of "you're" in a very public forum, such as the Regret Index, for instance (0.9474)
swearing at really, really, really inappropriate times (0.9474)
that for every n in N there is a finite sequence a subscript k, of which every member is in Z and is nonnegative, such that the product for i from one to m, where m is the length of the sequence, of the ith prime to the power of a subscript i equals n (0.9474)
used the wrong verb form (0.9474)
signing up to receive MoveOn's email newsletters (0.9474)
the touchpad on your laptop causing all sorts of weird typos (0.9474)
liking video fighting games, the two dimensional kind, but never making any friends to play them with (0.9474)
starting watching that epsiode of that show now, when you probably have ten minutes before you have to pack up and head home (0.9474)
chewing on the inside of your mouth (0.9474)
going to the moon and not bringing any chicks (0.9459)
missing your chance (0.9459)
not knowing the appropriate number of times to call someone without them calling you back, when they call you back one time out of four, so maybe it's a hint or maybe she's socially careless (0.9444)
John Grisham's "The View" (0.9444)
being the whole bag in one sitting (0.9444)
spending ten minutes to make coffee this morning and forgetting to drink it (0.9444)
nurrr having the dumb (0.9444)
not knowing if acquaintances pity you, hate you, or think you're a pretty cool person (0.9444)
that apparently you're not leaving an impression on even your friends anymore (0.9444)
trying to get your working life back on track, but instead just losing track of everything that makes you happy (0.9444)
processed foods being so much cheaper than fresh and unprepared food (0.9444)
getting up early just to meet someone, who then doesn't turn up (0.9444)
furries giving regular old surreal animal headed figures a bad name (0.9444)
great quotes that don't work so well in text format (0.9444)
having the ability to finish a videogame that is nothing more than a grindfest but not being able to do anything productive (0.9444)
trying to use ebay to gague how much an item is worth, but finding only "buy now" prices that range from fourteen to a hundred and thirty dollars (0.9444)
that your adolescence was stolen from you by depression (0.9444)
unintentionally leading on a good friend (0.9444)
that commenting on an old regret with comments already on it doesn't bump said regret to the top of the "recent comments" list, making "recent" a misuse of the word (0.9444)
always choking down whatever feelings, beliefs and goals people attribute to you on the grounds that it's not like you can produce evidence to argue with (0.9444)
Contemporary Christian Music (0.9444)
not proofreading a comment before posting it and realizing you can't edit the mistake (0.9444)
forgetting to take the money dispensed out of the cash machine (0.9434)
knowing that you could have phrased that sentence more elegantly and it will haunt you forever (0.9429)
yelling at someone who didn't deserve it (0.9423)
failing to maintain a creative skill because you were too shy to show anyone your work (0.9420)
watching The Hills (0.9412)
jokes with friends (0.9412)
having thought of something that must be added to your story, but forgetting before next you work on it what it was (0.9412)
not being able to tell people to fuck off in business correspondence, without consequences (0.9412)
not being aware there was an eclipse to see (0.9412)
waiting until the last moment (0.9412)
that your name is "inherently funny" instead of being "inherently badass" (0.9412)
agreeing to work another person's shift during the airdate of the finale of the only show you actually watch on television anymore, because it was early and they took you off guard (0.9412)
watching Grey's Anatomy (0.9412)
having to wade through a ton of retarded regrets before you find something worth voting on (0.9412)
having nothing, I mean literally absolutely fucking nothing, to do (0.9412)
letting a fart slip and then realizing you just shit your pants a little (0.9412)
telling yourself two hours ago that you were going to go outside and paint or something (0.9412)
sliding down a very rusty and dirty slide (0.9412)
knowing that you have to stepp things up and puut more effort in, but just really not having a good time with motivation right now (0.9412)
boring season finales (0.9412)
not being a bad enough dude (0.9412)
having a moron for a landlord (0.9412)
only having time for a half a minute (0.9412)
not getting enough sleep last night, and history repeating itself tonight (0.9412)
working rather than time traveling (0.9412)
not being able to think of any food to make from the stuff you have on hand (0.9403)
snaring yourself in your own web of lies (0.9394)
taking out your anger on everyone but the person who caused it (0.9385)
realizing too late he or she wasn't just being friendly, that it was flirting (0.9379)
saying something stupid in an attempt to impress a hero with your wit and whimsy (0.9375)
being that really old meat (0.9375)
following that link even though you knew vaguely what it led to (0.9375)
not starting that project sooner (0.9375)
unfounded suspicions (0.9375)
losing your mind a little, just enough to be aware of it, but not completely enough to have loco bananas fun with it (0.9375)
leaving your first real relationship to your henchmen instead of spending more time on it yourself (0.9375)
waking up from a good dream and instantly forgetting what it was about (0.9375)
being so deeply embedded in the sexless, socially awkward persona you've created for yourself, probably as a defense mechanism, that now that you want to change you're really having trouble getting out (0.9375)
getting your sad all over the place (0.9375)
that the only quality reading time you get anymore is while you are in the bathroom (0.9375)
having no qualifications (0.9375)
more than anything, you just don't like feeling unproductive and unprofitable, and you especially have guilt over getting an education in something and then struggling to make it useful (0.9375)
that due to serverlag and games never finishing brokenpicturetelephone dot com has become the worst possible execution of the best possible idea (0.9375)
meeting Brian Peppers Kento (0.9375)
not being able to think of decent comebacks (0.9375)
when an ad or something similar uses an asterisk as if to call out a footnote, but doesn't include the actual footnote (0.9375)
not being able to do enough (0.9375)
Return of the Jedi was made (0.9375)
being tense and nervous and you can't relax (0.9375)
not correctly conjugating your damn regret (0.9375)
misjudging the color nail polish you bought and ending up with three bottles of the same color (0.9375)
that your housemate is taking like a billion years to get out of the bathtub, and you really have to pee (0.9375)
never having heard of metaplasmus before now even though you've seen it in practice countless times (0.9375)
forgetting the awesome regret you were about to add (0.9375)
giving her a second chance, only to have it dashed and crushed in a fiery dazzle of emotions and pain (0.9375)
being friendless, leaving you with nobody to ask to record your favorite show (0.9375)
playing one of your favorite songs so many times it ceases to be special (0.9375)
playing furcadia (0.9375)
not being able to play Zelda I like it's the first time (0.9375)
not knowing what love means (0.9375)
that someone will eventually start spamming the site (0.9355)
leaving your twelve pack of soda in the grocery store parking lot in the bottom of the cart (0.9333)
forgetting to wash the clothes you have to wear tomorrow until just now (0.9333)
giving up your pets for the sake of a partner (0.9333)
not realizing you misspelled a regret before submitting it so all the comments on it end up being about the error instead of the actual regret (0.9333)
clumsy fingers (0.9333)
taking an exam to discover it had little to no questions about the material covered in class (0.9333)
jerks (0.9333)
buying that expensive thing that doesn't actually work better than the cheaper thing (0.9333)
being unable to concentrate long enough to finish ONE PAGE of ANY book in a single sitting, let alone a whole book (0.9333)
being part of the vicious circle that lowers the price of illustration and design, because you don't know how to price and when you're that desperate to make a living off of something meaningful to you, you'll take the cheap jobs, and work for exposure (0.9333)
David Carradine dying in a puddle of his own Bill spill (0.9333)
forgetting that piece of chocolate on your poket so when you put your hand back in you find it almost melt (0.9333)
staying up in order to accomplish something, but just sitting around instead (0.9333)
having an unhappy friend who doesn't bring up directly what they're unhappy about, and not being sure how to make them feel better or if it's possible at all (0.9333)
being a passive aggressive roommate (0.9333)
realizing that she thought of you as a weird creep all along and you thought you had a nice conversation (0.9333)
being automatically associated with those who use reddit (0.9333)
lending your bees to a dishonest beekeeper (0.9333)
not being able to find your library card (0.9333)
marrying a person that you already knew was mentally ill (0.9333)
crying like a baby at the end of a DVD series, but at the moment barely having a life of your own (0.9333)
waking up today with a sore throat and possible lung affliction, after having no developing symptoms and not being able to think what you could have done to cause this sickness (0.9333)
meating Brian Peppers (0.9333)
minnesota (0.9333)
trying to writeth yon novel entire in Olde Englishe despite having thou only vaguest notion of what people hath conversedeth similar to in such times past , and abusing the suffixeth "eth" throughout, as well as the language in general, forsooth, verily (0.9333)
not finishing off the protagonist when he was weak and inexperienced, and instead sending a stream of minions on a shallow difficulty curve that perfectly matched his increasing power (0.9333)
a wild Thom Yorke appears! (0.9333)
taking a trip down memory lane, but then getting jackknifed on bitter regret turnpike (0.9333)
being at a loss for what to do until it's dark and cool enough for the writing frenzy to kick in (0.9333)
Open Office being frozen, and you can't just end the program and restart it because of your unsaved data which is in fact extremely important (0.9333)
weight loss ads where the "before" and "after" are clearly two different people (0.9333)
blowing it (0.9333)
giving yourself one thing to do all day and not doing it (0.9333)
having a sticky e key, apparently (0.9333)
your pen is exploding (0.9333)
finding a living six inch long centipede in your toilet (0.9333)
seeing so many idiots putting so much effort into being offended by things that are not even mildly offensive just because they crave attention or validation and they refuse to end themselves (0.9333)
even reading the term Brangelina (0.9318)
knowing what to do, and not doing it (0.9310)
not washing your dishes and letting bugs take over your kitchen (0.9310)
those song with a minute or so of silence at the beginning (0.9310)
failing at coming off witty when trying to befriend someone (0.9310)
forgetting to check on the pizza in the oven (0.9302)
reacting angrily to reasonable advice (0.9302)
a life of regret (0.9302)
watching the Dragonball movie (0.9286)
not knowing if you have a boyfriend or just a boy who is going through all the motions (0.9286)
posting on the regret index rather than manning up and just calling the damn could be sweety already (0.9286)
thinking of a good regret to add but when you finally go to add it having forgotten it (0.9286)
those other three Tremors movies (0.9286)
Sucking your thumb as a child and now you have to wear braces (0.9286)
not doing your homework a few times and realizing you may fail your course because of this (0.9286)
that soylent green isn't people in the book (0.9286)
never practicing the piano as much as you should, even though you like it more than you say you do (0.9286)
kidney stones (0.9286)
only having crushes where you're totally deluded that they cannot help but work out, then pursuing them with a full tilt zeal that would make the Luftwaffe seem like a buncha Luftwafflers, amirite (0.9286)
never teling her you've been crazy about her since you met (0.9286)
when a stupid band does a cover of a song that becomes better known than the awesome original, and whenever you mention the song people assume you're talking about the crappy cover (0.9286)
thinking of a frikkin' sweet regret, postponing adding it until you'd finished voting or commenting your current regret, then forgetting the regret you'd only recently concocted (0.9286)
not cleaning your room until moving out of the house and discovering that it was pretty big after all (0.9286)
hearing so much about how people fool themselves that you no longer feel able to authoritatively say anything about what you were or weren't thinking at a particular time (0.9286)
throwing up into your own mouth and tasting it twice (0.9286)
debating whether or not to go to bed before it is even dark out because you can't think of anything better to do (0.9286)
that all your loves have been unrequited (0.9286)
waking up just as it was about to be revealed (0.9286)
the long decline (0.9286)
letting the chips get soggy (0.9286)
letting out a fart, but accidentally following through (0.9286)
seeing a little puppy waddle past the window and not rushing out of the restaurant, bill unpaid, to make sure it wasn't lost (0.9286)
guessing you should probably give up on your dream for another year (0.9286)
leaving that personal ad about liking pina coladas & getting caught in the rain (0.9286)
losing the piece of paper that had all of your plans scribbled on it (0.9286)
watching a TV series online, then getting midway and being unable to find a working video anywhere on the web and not being able to carry on (0.9286)
buying fruit and not getting around to eating it before it spoils (0.9286)
being so friggin' hungry you start to feel ill (0.9286)
not having the time to learn more about something (0.9286)
not knowing which is more smug, a swan or a canadian goose (0.9286)
not having that conversation (0.9286)
not washing your hands (0.9286)
network decay (0.9286)
seeing someone change their art because someone else went out of their way to find something to be offended by (0.9286)
thinking, worrying, that the rest of the Regret Index considers you to be a grouch, a prude, a party hyphen pooper (0.9286)
being attractive enough to be hit on but not socially aware enough to do anything about it (0.9286)
being very bad at explaining your worldview to people, causing them to think that you're pretentious and judgemental (0.9286)
being too honest, or rather too bad at lying, to tell guys you're not attacracted to that you have a boyfriend, so they just keep talking at you anyway (0.9286)
not really being sure what happened to your sentence there (0.9286)
liking the idea of the new Johnny Depp gangster video, but the trailers you've seen look like they were all shot on unlit digital video (0.9286)
going through all the trouble of tracking and killing that sasquatch then slacking off and forgetting to zombify it (0.9286)
the time you lost five pages of something because you didn't save often enough (0.9286)
having what is about two hundred dollars to your name (0.9286)
the slow death of the regret index (0.9286)
that hardly anyone on here takes the Index seriously, so all you find is things like licking dead people (0.9286)
waiting until things are perfect, and since things are never perfect, never getting around to anything (0.9286)
constipation (0.9286)
not being able to email pancakes to other people (0.9286)
ugh, not putting more effort into it (0.9286)
po! po! po! po! popozao! popozao! (0.9286)
when something you intend to use just sits around sadly, reminding you of how lazy you are (0.9286)
that so many people are so stupid (0.9286)
finally finding a job to apply to, but having the listing removed right as you're about to apply for it (0.9286)
having all of these half drawn figures that you really like, but not knowing what to do with them (0.9286)
being too ashamed about something to even vent anonymously (0.9286)
finding some really fucked up fanart online (0.9286)
not building that giant robot when you had the chance (0.9273)
the sequel (0.9259)
The lip at the opening of the cheap bags of cereal under which all the cereal gets trapped while trying to pour it out (0.9259)
something you HAVE done (0.9245)
not being able to finish anything you've ever started (0.9239)
having contracted swine flu and now you can't stop oinking (0.9231)
accidentally washing your USB drive (0.9231)
traveling through time and accidentally materializing in the same spot as your past self (0.9231)
lying to her, leaving her, hurting her horribly, and then realizing you're still in love with her (0.9231)
the moment when your brakes lock and you slide towards the big truck (0.9231)
irregular bowels (0.9231)
that the thrill is here but it won't last long (0.9231)
being murdered (0.9231)
straining relations (0.9231)
that wine is not an emulator, only it is (0.9231)
crappy busted ass Earthlink (0.9231)
being woken repeatedly for no damn reason by someone or something irritating and trivial (0.9231)
that there's a restaurant in Tokyo where you can watch girls poo and then eat it (0.9231)
that so many actresses have such generically beautiful faces, that it's difficult to even describe them in terms of features in a way that will differentiate them from other actresses (0.9231)
what an enormous number of utterly crap Seth MacFarlane series somehow get greenlit for TV (0.9231)
not knowing whether it would be better to respond to an email or to ignore it (0.9231)
that if Ryan doesn't periodically tweak the 'dex, you have no way to explain the occasional changes, like the regret lists on the sidebar suddenly changing, or that thing last year when commenting on regrets temporarily bumped them up the recent comments (0.9231)
doing that thing that you regret (0.9231)
being betrayed by someone you thought you could look up to and admire (0.9231)
dwelling on regret (0.9231)
waking up with what looks like a crime scene in your pants (0.9231)
speaking PUNjabi (0.9231)
that you're probably pretty bad at interviews, but that's okay, since no one ever replies to your applications anyway (0.9231)
haha, I really screwed that one up (0.9231)
that Michael Cera plays the same role in everything he is in (0.9231)
not knowing how to accept a compliment (0.9231)
that employers can get away with writing job postings that pay no respect to spelling or grammar (0.9231)
that putting diamonds on the soles of your shoes is totally impractical because nobody will see them and they'll just fall off anyway (0.9231)
rediscovering shitty music at just the worst time (0.9231)
possibly leading someone you're not interested in on, as a result of your inability to be rude and truthful (0.9231)
that a douchebag is a hygienic product and so I will take that as a compliment (0.9231)
realising that the girl you love probably was interested in you, but now it's too late (0.9231)
failing the life school of life (0.9231)
that despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart (0.9231)
picking up that cat from the foreclosed home across the street because all it does is meow, constantly reminding you of your failures and shortcomings, like losing a house for example (0.9231)
not telling off your condescending friends (0.9231)
experiencing a sudden, crippling burst of writer's block, possibly due to sleep deprivation (0.9231)
regret index bromance (0.9231)
making up statistics about fridge deaths, but not bothering to write them down and forgetting them (0.9231)
getting all zonked on the angel dust and acting like a tough, but you ain't nothin' but a queer from Philly, see (0.9231)
losing that little bit of credibility for doing that one thing (0.9231)
not actually being sure what you meant by "that scene", you guess you maybe meant the hanging out in public spaces with other people scene (0.9231)
never learning to parallel park and now that you live in a city, it's kind of an important skill (0.9231)
finally meeting someone who was nice to you only to drive them off with your awful personality quirks (0.9231)
that someone on the old regret index made a regret about a sex dream they had about you, but they never told you who they were (0.9231)
wearing that LIVEstrong bracelet for six months straight (0.9231)
wrecking your own car (0.9231)
hearing a mix tape you thought was awesome but now realize was terrible (0.9231)
the relentless grinding toil of wage slavery (0.9231)
failing to duck (0.9231)
mistaking the glowy sky demon for the flamey sky demon and calling all your friends while they were asleep (0.9231)
being in love with yourself and not loving yourself back (0.9231)
this time around, being the person whp replied seriously to a joke, even though you had an inkling it was a joke, kind of (0.9231)
reading that one webcomic long after it stopped being funny (0.9231)
having to shave your moustache, despite being a chick (0.9231)
being mistaken for antisocial and so ending up with no friends, when really you're just incredibly shy (0.9231)
that you've always just gotten involved in something that takes up all your atention, when your friend says goodnight and leaves the internet (0.9231)
being too afraid to tell your partner where you want your relationship to go, thus giving the impression that you don't know or don't care (0.9231)
that your cat wants to play fetch, which is all fine and good and kind of cute, but you're trying to type as she walks across the keyboard to drop her little twist tie right in front of you (0.9231)
that your cat loves licking everything, such as the floor, the shower curtain, the box fan, and bottles of potentially dangerous chemicals if you don't put them away (0.9231)
not applying for that job sooner (0.9231)
your body wanting you to get pregnant every month, and tricking you into wanting to eat everything as a result, among other things (0.9231)
shitty advice (0.9231)
ever loaning anything to stupid fucking stoners (0.9231)
loaning your Magic Bullet to a fucking swan (0.9231)
wasting not, but still wanting (0.9231)
not being against doing art for free, but being overwhelmed by the expectation of it, from businesses who can afford to pay, and people who make demands and pretty much say they will treat you like shit in return for nothing more than "portfolio building" (0.9231)
thinking that you're rebellious because you listen to hard rock and watch violent movies (0.9231)
domain hacks (0.9231)
not being able to pick a lower quality video option in this one website so you can just watch the dang thing without it buffering every half second (0.9231)
only biking east (0.9231)
not studying for my exam, and not shoeing up to a single lecture all year (0.9231)
not sleeping enough (0.9231)
people spitting on the pavement (0.9231)
not baing able to curl up into a ball to protect yourself from predators (0.9231)
that you can't even express the flaws you find in that logic (0.9231)
needing money to make money (0.9231)
people who use the phrase "internship position" as a more positive way to say "unpaid position", even though there are such things as paid internships (0.9231)
that, if you think about it, the plot of "The Time Traveler's Wife" kind of reinforces the stereotype that a woman should stay at home and have babies and patiently wait for the man who is out having adventures (0.9231)
not floozing more often (0.9231)
counting on someone you thought was your friend, only to realize they only like you when you're available (0.9219)
not applying yourself to something you cared about (0.9216)
living through a terrible event yourself, but still being unable to think of what to say when it happens to someone else (0.9200)
wussing out and NOT kissing that attractive girl (0.9200)
washing your plane ticket with your jeans and socks (0.9200)
Not knowing exactly how to get to the results without voting, thus bumping up and down various regrets (0.9200)
not trusting your instincts (0.9189)
not knowing how to ask for help when you needed it most (0.9178)
not going to the bathroom before you left the house (0.9175)
the death of webcomics before their plot is completed (0.9167)
breaking the pendants you are working on (0.9167)
middle aged men with fake tans, bleached blond hair, and pink nailpolish (0.9167)
coming back only to find out that your craving for brains really gets in the way of forming a meaningful relationship (0.9167)
that the "asians" section on that porno site is full of pics of forty year old obese indians (0.9167)
that most vegan food smells like an infected glans (0.9167)
fucking ohio (0.9167)
believing yourself so smart anyone who disagrees with you must be stupid, evil, or brainwashed (0.9167)
always wondering if things were ingrained in your personality since youth, or if they're a result of the grief you went through, and if you'll ever really get over that, because you keep trying and ending up in the same place (0.9167)
that when you hit puberty and finally got your horns that they weren't the long cool black and twisted kind like Dad has, but the shorter goat kind (0.9167)
being tired during the day and wide awake at night (0.9167)
imagining that you must be exhausting to know (0.9167)
having no desire to sleep, but having an obligation to do so (0.9167)
being a hypocrite (0.9167)
that BAD sketch comedy has killed the parody (0.9167)
logging into Brian Peppers (0.9167)
that you make me feel like crying (0.9167)
having all of the fun of a hangover without any of the fun of actually drinking the night before (0.9167)
making a ridiculous sweeping generalization, then tacking 'to me' at the beginning of it (0.9167)
making jokes in base thirteen (0.9167)
freely using "ironically" when you mean "unfortunately" (0.9167)
people who leave stuff lying around in public places, like it's someone else's job to clean up after them, seriously (0.9167)
another stupid network website using the stupid Move player that doesn't work for you (0.9167)
trying to read Moby Dick once, oh god (0.9167)
that the killer what took me is entitilitis (0.9167)
contracting swine flu from your piggy bank (0.9167)
that there can't be just one Facebook app for all of these god damn quizzes, you mean you want to take some of the quizzes, but you don't want to add a new app every single time (0.9167)
recieving the wrong grade results and making life choices based on those, only to find out too late (0.9167)
catching a chronic but fairly minor disease while traveling (0.9167)
not wiping up that last trace of blood (0.9167)
getting eaten by a big fat cow that eats you (0.9167)
being scammed so repeatedly that it's become second habit to accept defeat as some sort of martyr's "victory" (0.9167)
regularly taking fish oil supplements (0.9167)
that you have some concerns about the way things are done at work, but you never say anything about it because you're convinced that no one's going to listen to you anyway (0.9167)
stepping on your music player because you left it in your coat pocket and your coat on the floor (0.9167)
falling behind on emails, deviantart submissions, and bill payment (0.9167)
spending way too much on groceries that will likely get all moldy and gross before you can reasonably use them (0.9167)
not getting enough sleep (0.9167)
failing to talk to someone due to embarassment (0.9167)
agreeing to help that person with building their website (0.9167)
not knowing where to price things you're selling, so that it's a fair price, maybe even skewed to your advantage, but not too expensive for people to buy it (0.9167)
loving chocolate, only to find that it sometimes gives you migraines if you eat it (0.9167)
clumsy brains (0.9167)
thinking that you've gotten even stupider in the time the Index was down, I mean you remember making a lot of mistakes then, but now it's just crazy (0.9167)
the Hypercritical Index (0.9167)
being too afraid to ask you partner where your relationship is going in case they give an answer you don't want to hear (0.9167)
Today's Sedentary Lifestyles (0.9167)
your bionic left arm that wont let you type askfj iowu vn fhlsdkajf (0.9167)
not understanding this thing Earthlings call "love" (0.9167)
working for a jerk (0.9167)
whining about regrets on the internet, where no one really gives a shit (0.9167)
leaving the milk in the fridge too long (0.9167)
following the instructions for growing a tail, but instead summoning a miniature bigfoot who slashes at your ankles with a razor (0.9167)
spending most of a night playing Lumines (0.9167)
getting no comments on your latest DA submission, because it isn't fanart, furry, or porn (0.9167)
downloading video where the sound doesn't match the visual (0.9167)
swans taking our jobs (0.9167)
being all shy for most of the year and as a result she is merely your good friend (0.9167)
having nothing to live for and no means to live with, but not wanting to die either (0.9167)
that people are so bad at taking direction and piking up on visual cues (0.9167)
actually, very nearly coming to terms with your body image as seen in mirrors and stuff, but still hating youself in almost every photograph you've ever been in (0.9167)
building an Ayn Randroid (0.9167)
collapsing in on yourself with bitterness and solitude (0.9167)
that Charlie Brown never gets to kick the damn football (0.9167)
that nobody seems to realize the "people suck" attitude is self perpetuating, because by living that way you're just contributing to the overall selfishness of society (0.9167)
not making a back up (0.9149)
writing poems you kind of like, but posting them on a nearly deserted livejournal, and then being scared of pointing them out to anyone because that might be obnoxious (0.9149)
not standing up for yourself (0.9144)
throwing away the amulet the old gypsy woman gave you for protection (0.9130)
spending the last of your money a week before payday (0.9130)
innocent actions being misconstrued by others as sexual advances (0.9130)
not knowing what to change your name to (0.9130)
not being able to edit regrets in order to correct spelling and grammar (0.9130)
not saving your game (0.9118)
wrongeous anger (0.9111)
failing to take hints (0.9109)
only learning to cut loose and have fun AFTER graduating college (0.9091)
buying a ridiculously expensive treadmill, only to have it sit unused in your garage (0.9091)
grumping up the place (0.9091)
not trying to make everyone feel bad for you, which you think it probably seems like, just not being able to keep the anxiety inside, because then it gets even worse (0.9091)
drawing that comet so that the tail pointed in the opposite direction of its motion rather than away from the sun (0.9091)
Captain Jean Luke Skywalker (0.9091)
that The goggles do nothing! (0.9091)
being sorta interested in trying a "beer float", except it seems like a terrible waste of both beer and ice cream (0.9091)
having blisters on your fingers (0.9091)
that your requited crush turned out, upon closer examination, to be a boring, self absorbed pain in the ass, and now the sticky problem of how to get rid of them without hurting their feelings (0.9091)
watching that video where a skinny guy sits down on like a three foot long dildo and you're all like "oh big deal it's just a camera trick, he just sat down in front of it" and then you can see it pushing around in his stomach and you want todie (0.9091)
only seeming to feel scared or motivated around three in the morning, when it seems impossible to do anything about it (0.9091)
fucking bastard sexists who come up with shit like "Man Law" (0.9091)
making an obvious, undisputable statement, then tacking "in my opinion" at the end of it (0.9091)
when a shitty band covers a great song, I'm looking at you My Chemical Romance (0.9091)
spending thirty seven dollars plus tax on that Che Guevera tshirt (0.9091)
losing your connections (0.9091)
that at least the old Evony ads were slutty in a fantasy sort of way, these new ones aren't even trying (0.9091)
hot grits (0.9091)
hank driving all the way to springfield to watch bart's peewee football game (0.9091)
being pigeonholed (0.9091)
dyeing in vein (0.9091)
having a rough nap (0.9091)
that pop country western seems to have adopted cock rock's regrettable irritating swagger, only with pot bellies and redneckery (0.9091)
that the tank thong combines the comfort of a tank top and the discomfort of a thong (0.9091)
never having had cable, therefore having missed the Mystery Science Theater craze, you little pampered Anita (0.9091)
not being able to cross between the two worlds (0.9091)
eating colon (0.9091)
not being able to find that clitoris (0.9091)
despising someone, except for with your penis (0.9091)
that some silicone sister with her manager mister told you you got what it takes, she said she'd turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky breaks (0.9091)
assuming that animal that looked like it was smiling was happy (0.9091)
the regret index having no edit function (0.9091)
El Cisne Loco (0.9091)
not knowing enough about writing, you feel, to know whether you've done it successfully (0.9091)
Kanye West (0.9091)
that it all seems like a stopgap (0.9091)
vladamir "romance novel cover" putin (0.9091)
the familiar sound of your cat vomiting in the next room (0.9091)
that five years ago you would have been thrilled to see a Tim Burton version of Alice, but now you feel it's just another movie with Johnny Depp in it (0.9091)
not being able to tell if you or the other person gave up on the friendship first (0.9091)
they literally had the poor bastard stuck in a corner with his back against the wall and sweat rolling down his face (0.9091)
getting so annoyed with yourself for the mopey pessimism, but just getting mopier and more pessimistic as a result (0.9091)
that you've gone from getting blown nightly to getting blown off, amirite (0.9091)
signing up for that MMO game (0.9091)
adding a comment to the wrong regret (0.9091)
making mistakes (0.9091)
SA no longer being readable by non members (0.9091)
dying your blonde hair dark brown (0.9091)
being a twit on Twitter (0.9091)
misuse of the word "epoch" (0.9091)
accidentally using than instead of then (0.9091)
taking social cues from a number of movies and television shows in which the protagonists are obviously very interested in each other, but must never, no never, admit it to each other, anyone else, or sometimes even themselves (0.9091)
fanwank effecting the plot of your favorite show (0.9091)
an angry bleeding mess of a swan (0.9091)
your bad memory (0.9091)
calling your boyfriend or girlfriend, just to say hi and tell them you miss them, but for some reason picking a fight instead (0.9091)
being a little afraid to post about your goal of eating your way through every street fair this summer, as your metabolism not only makes you thin but apparently also insensitive to others not so freakish in the DNA department (0.9091)
the binbag splitting (0.9091)
,,, ,'' ,' ', ,,, (0.9091)
not knowing morse code by ,,,, , ,' ,', ' (0.9091)
calling heads, but the sexy coin turned up tails (0.9091)
no one taking advantage of these excellent tatas (0.9091)
sending someone a couple of instant messages, only to have them sign off a few minutes later without even replying (0.9091)
that the only people you can really ask for advice are sleeping (0.9091)
having to move out of uni accomodation, since oh god there's so much stuff to pack (0.9091)
crying over a boy on the way home from school, only to have your aunt find out and tell your grandmother, who lectures you about it at work (0.9091)
losing your first love, which happened to be a sweet vintage bike (0.9091)
being unemployed, and feeling unable to become employed (0.9091)
that even if your attempts at logic are nonsensical, they're still enough to persuade yourself (0.9091)
knowing that it'll take your whole damn life to make this right (0.9091)
having trouble seeing the point in trying, when you get no response (0.9091)
being so tired, but half waiting up expecting a phone call (0.9091)
being hoisted by your own petard (0.9091)
lending your favorite book and your favorite comic to your girlfriend of less than two months only to have her dump you and never give them back (0.9091)
listening to the Sugababes (0.9091)
meeting that Fall Out Boy (0.9091)
wanting to introduce your friends to the Regret Index, but since, as you regard it as the internet's backward turned optic nerve of enlightenment, and these people dwell near the darkened rim of its asshole, you feel it would be a bad match (0.9091)
having a football shaped head (0.9091)
going to college or uni and somehow managing to be the only person to not make any friends there (0.9091)
cluttering Firefox with so many addons that, really, the browser portion of the window is so small as to be unuseable (0.9091)
finding the ANY key and then pressing it when you weren't specificially asked to (0.9091)
getting into an "open relationship" (0.9091)
only asking her out when it was too late (0.9091)
asking out the cute waitress at your favorite restaurant, because she said no and now you can't go to your favorite restaurant anymore (0.9091)
not making the city more welcoming to your friend who recently moved here and isn't liking it much, because you are too busy trying to figure out how to make a living, and being pretty miserable yourself (0.9091)
post nasal drip (0.9091)
Bandwidth limits in Australia (0.9091)
really not getting the pony eye blowing regrets (0.9091)
not smothering Sky Dayton with a Thetan infested modem when you had a chance (0.9091)
the Humorless Bland Agreement Bandit (0.9091)
forgetting which day your final exam is and subsequently missing it (0.9063)
receiving a fortune cookie containing no fortune at a restaurant (0.9063)
the bad taste in music of people in convertibles sitting at a nearby traffic light (0.9054)
burning the tomato sauce that you canned and have been eating all year (0.9048)
veneral diseases (0.9048)
debt (0.9048)
waking up earlier than usual, but then dicking around so you'll probably still be late to work (0.9048)
forgetting to check for typos (0.9048)
pressing the enter key instead of shift (0.9048)
that countries will enter a war without first setting definite goals and definite plans as to how to accomplish them (0.9048)
that once you get your scent on them, the mother won't take them back (0.9048)
letting your keyboard get filthy (0.9048)
that emo kids and angsty teenagers have warped people's view of what depression really is (0.9048)
that this thing doesn't cycle through all of the regrets when you're on a voting roll and you keep voting on the same ones over and over again (0.9045)
not putting away a small amount of money every month since I started working (0.9024)
that people don't laugh at your jokes, but they do laugh at your serious suggestions (0.9024)
that your love of synching video to music in interesting or inappropriate ways clashes with your hate of searching for a legitamate clip on Youtube and getting a hundred fan made music videos featuring Evanescence songs back instead (0.9000)
tripping and falling into Kento's GAPING ASSHOLE (0.9000)
feeling sleepy for the first time in months on a night when you should stay up to get some work done (0.9000)
mildewy (0.9000)
not realizing that underneath all that shit, he just wanted help (0.9000)
being depressed over your failure to achieve something that was implausible anyway (0.9000)
having problems at home, but not being able to move out yet (0.9000)
Eating way too much because if its gonna cost that much you're going to get your fill (0.9000)
assuming it was obvious (0.8984)
not running fast enough (0.8980)
being shy (0.8974)
drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth (0.8971)
being so screwed up by the past that you never give love a chance (0.8971)
telling a joke you hadn't thought all the way through (0.8970)
having no friends in the city where you live and turning to this site for some semblance of social intercourse (0.8966)
having rich inner monologues that melt away as soon as you begin to write (0.8966)
being unable to talk to people unless you have a "good" reason to (0.8966)
not saying at least "hello" (0.8959)
allowing xkcd to become unfunny (0.8947)
breaking her trust (0.8947)
that the person who did your job before you had no filing abilities and you have to spend so much of your time sifting through randomly named files all the time and the system (0.8947)
not being able to figure out if you are depressed (0.8947)
letting him break your heart again (0.8947)
not shaving your legs ever, but shaving your pubes for someone once, leading you to look mangy (0.8947)
being to poor to build your own robot butler (0.8947)
Jar Jar Binks (0.8947)
finding every interaction with this one person to be delightful, but not taking any action (0.8947)
losing what little nerve you had (0.8947)
regrets written in the first person (0.8947)
making mountains out of molehills (0.8947)
not kissing people, even if it's in your best interest to do so (0.8947)
being unable to think of indecent comebacks (0.8947)
being born too late for tall ships, and too early for space ships (0.8947)
that you didn't take more pictures (0.8936)
drying yourself with a mildewy towel (0.8929)
getting so awkward when you're caught off your guard (0.8929)
breaking your resolve (0.8929)
confusing your horniness for loneliness (0.8929)
bad speling and grammer (0.8919)
going through too much bullshit just to mess with the wrong person for you (0.8913)
that the good times are over (0.8913)
not making your move when you had the chance (0.8911)
staying in that dead end job because it required less work than following your dream (0.8901)
not backing up my data (0.8897)
calling someone by the wrong name in front of all their friends (0.8889)
cashing in a winning scratch off ticket just to buy some losing ones (0.8889)
waking up tired everyday (0.8889)
an hero lolwut facepalmjpg (0.8889)
forgetting passwords (0.8889)
misspelling you're as your (0.8889)
stepping on gum (0.8889)
that Captain K'nuckles is a dick (0.8889)
misuse of apostrophe's (0.8889)
learning your best friend was a closet furry (0.8889)
being expected not to offend anyone else, ever (0.8889)
anaphylactic shock (0.8889)
contractual obligations (0.8889)
making mistkakes (0.8889)
losing touch with old friends (0.8889)
orphaned puppies with a hurt paw crying alone in the rain (0.8889)
strangers telling you to 'cheer up' and smile when you weren't even aware of being anything less than fine (0.8889)
running late (0.8889)
risking going for a poop despite the small amount of toilet paper and then running out before youre done (0.8883)
hardly ever taking the dog for a walk (0.8871)
making a costly mistake (0.8870)
not letting the dog out to pee (0.8857)
getting fat (0.8857)
being so careless your scoop of ice cream fell off the cone onto the hot pavement (0.8846)
not telling the person you have a crush on that you like them, and when you finally worked up the courage, they're dating someone else (0.8846)
putting of that dentist appointment until it was too late (0.8846)
not tightening the lug nuts (0.8846)
not taking backups (0.8846)
abandoning your values (0.8846)
not sleeping AND not getting the homework done (0.8842)
not hooking up with Ryan (0.8838)
staying with an abusive boyfriend (0.8837)
hurting the only person who loved you because you were afraid of getting too close (0.8824)
starting a business with loans from your friends (0.8824)
dropping out of school for a girl (0.8824)
that Zorro stole all your zzzzz's, now you'll be awake all night (0.8824)
having the same cough for six months (0.8824)
being afraid that when you do stop being scared of other people, you will settle for a relationship you're not that into, out of low self worth (0.8824)
loneliness that can only be consoled with regret (0.8824)
not buying supplies before the dungeon run (0.8824)
hunting the wumpus to extinction (0.8824)
telling your ex girlfriend you loved someone else for a mojority of your relationship, then wanting to get back with her (0.8824)
reading a book in two days, because it was really good, but probably not being able to remember any of it a month after as a result (0.8824)
that monocles and top hats are not in style (0.8824)
needing a shower in the warst way (0.8824)
the absense of established customs and mores for online interaction (0.8824)
a lack of clarity in your regrets (0.8824)
when someone lives up to their stereotype (0.8824)
not knowing what to eat, and ending up eating nothing (0.8824)
not learning how to change a tire (0.8824)
hating yourself (0.8824)
not starting in your new sketchbook because you're afraid you'll mess up tremendously on the first page (0.8824)
making an unintentional typo when you were trying to make an intentional typo (0.8824)
having a bunch of books you absolutely love, but losing your nerve when it comes to recommending them to others (0.8824)
the assholish way that vegans get when you tell them you like tofu, as if it belongs to them and you're not allowed to eat it (0.8824)
trying to get along with someone, even though their idea of conversation is a running critique of everything you do, like, and believe (0.8824)
always starting to hate yourself whenever you suspect that anyone else has an opinion of you, whether that opinion be good or bad (0.8810)
your lack of telekinesis (0.8810)
that the trend of regrets that don't make sense with 'how much can you expect to regret' has returned (0.8800)
touching your eye after cutting hot peppers (0.8800)
not figuring out what you want (0.8800)
people blaming their own faults on you (0.8800)
failing to see the signs (0.8794)
saying you could start at your job earlier than they expected, then remembering later that you planned to visit your boyfriend that weekend (0.8788)
lending that rare comic to your sister's boyfriend just before they broke up and you never saw him again (0.8788)
leaving mould in a mug for so long that when you finally got round to washing it, it sprayed a blue cloud around the kitchen on contact with water and made you sneeze (0.8780)
that typo you will never be able to fix (0.8780)
not having any self esteem (0.8776)
living a life dictated by your phobias instead of your desires (0.8766)
failing to notice that the sad girl you just passed was actually a damsel in distress, and you didn't help her (0.8765)
something you HAVEN'T done (0.8765)
the Twilight books (0.8762)
staying in relationships even after finding out the truth (0.8750)
giving someone more attention than they deserved (0.8750)
leaving coffee for a week in your thermos (0.8750)
not trying more things when you were younger now that you know being in trouble is a fake idea (0.8750)
thinking someone is talking to you when they're actually talking to the person behind you (0.8750)
that subscription to US weekly (0.8750)
drying yourself after a shower with a mildewy towel (0.8750)
crotchrot (0.8750)
buying your first car, then immediately getting in your first car accident (0.8750)
the incident (0.8750)
moving to kuwait (0.8750)
that the DS has become a haven for shovelware (0.8750)
eatting undercooked eggs (0.8750)
not turning back to look at her one last time before leaving her life forever (0.8750)
world hunger (0.8750)
not having a miniature pet Utahraptor (0.8750)
that it's no longer cool to call the Internet "the tubes" (0.8750)
catching robot flu by going to that sleazy robot strip club (0.8750)
wasting your life (0.8750)
fried pickles (0.8750)
thinking it would be way more punk to get a hott pink "Hello Kitty" Squier copy of a Strat than to get another Gibson SG, but being unsure whether wooable girls will see the post punk transgressive humor or your artfully ironic act of overthinking things (0.8750)
that you are literally fucktarded (0.8750)
spelling gauge wrong (0.8750)
not going to the doctors sooner (0.8750)
hitting that wasp, but not hard enough, so it comes back and stings you (0.8750)
still not knowing what you want to be when you grow up (0.8750)
realising you've ran out of toilet paper after you've already finished (0.8750)
your feet, they're cold (0.8750)
that there is nothing fair in this world, babe (0.8750)
people who make assertions without citing evidence or examples to back up said assertions, a sure sign of a narcissistic personality disorder, the other sign being vehement denial of said disorder followed by attack or ridicule of diagnosis tenderer (0.8750)
having too much work or not enough (0.8750)
showing that person you were hoping would be a new friend something stupid because you thought they would appreciate it, only no one would because your interests are dumb (0.8750)
not being good at self promotion (0.8750)
not knowing what you did wrong (0.8750)
not having your own working portal gun (0.8750)
not making more of an outcry about bad things that are happening (0.8750)
Facebook applications (0.8732)
taking the hugest dump (0.8725)
Hitler's taking direct control of the German military (0.8723)
letting your ex have your Dreamcast (0.8718)
mistaking tears for repudiation of the rumours involving her kissing someone else (0.8710)
not asking your health insurance company how much an expensive dental procedure would cost before doing it (0.8710)
entering pointless religious debates that serve only to make both sides really irritated (0.8710)
not having hands for feet and also a tail (0.8710)
losing two portable music devices in less than two months (0.8696)
moving into that apartment that was infested with bedbugs (0.8696)
indecent exposure which does not result in the erotic frenzy that you had anticipated (0.8696)
flashing the dog, then finding out your dad saw you (0.8696)
homeowners associations (0.8696)
hannah montana (0.8696)
telling my roommate who plays his guitar all the time that I am really laid back and I love hearing music all the time (0.8696)
not being sure you used a word right (0.8696)
being born too late for tall ships and too early for spaceships (0.8696)
neglecting your oral hygiene (0.8696)
being a dick (0.8696)
forgetting just what the things were you used to enjoy so much (0.8696)
not checking the toilet seat first (0.8690)
being asked for important advice and not being able to give it (0.8689)
not finding more time to read (0.8686)
spending all day surfing the Internet instead of writing or drawing or whatever it is you do creatively (0.8684)
Being unable to fully trust him just because of my insecurities (0.8684)
games that you never finished and have long since lost (0.8684)
staying with the douche because you were too lazy to get out (0.8679)
waiting too long to let go of your feelings (0.8675)
not doing the thing you deliberately said you would (0.8673)
falling asleep while cooking with the stove (0.8667)
adding Roshan Patel to your Facebook friends (0.8667)
mispronouncing that fancy word (0.8667)
winning a pyrrhic victory (0.8667)
that, specifically, you want to know if it's proper to say "took an object from out the container it was in" or if you have to say "out of the container" (0.8667)
imagining that there's a cafe somewhere where all the american apparel models hang out and talk about philosophy and indie music, and the girls hang out with their nipples poking through their shirts and their drugged up expressions (0.8667)
that when people list regulars, you're hardly ever on the list (0.8667)
being so exhausted you can hardly keep your eyes open, for no good reason (0.8667)
not being one of those people who really finds it unfair that the other person doesn't make the first move, knowing that you are the cause of most of your problems, but still preferring the neutral position (0.8667)
May not being a fun month for you (0.8667)
being THAT guy (0.8667)
staying with someone you didn't love (0.8667)
that you aren't not doing nothing never even though you aren't not anywhere special (0.8667)
The Assassination of Jessie and James by the Coward Ash Ketchum (0.8667)
asking "hey, how's your dog," forgetting that her dog just tragically died (0.8667)
when your toaster wets the bed (0.8667)
finding out your cat is of the non yodeling variety (0.8667)
forgetting you had strawberries until just now (0.8667)
feeling sick when it's really nice outside (0.8667)
implementing synergies to verticalize your platforms (0.8667)
three am, when doctors say the body's at low tide, the soul is out, the blood moves slow, you're the nearest to death you'll ever be save dying, sleep is a patch of death, but three in the morn, full wide eyed staring, is living death! (0.8667)
knowing where you want your relationship to go but not having the balls to ask or talk to your partner about such (0.8667)
Beatallica (0.8667)
the way passport photos highlight every blemish and imperfection (0.8667)
that even though you know how to pronounce bass as in bass guitar, when you see it in writing you always automatically think bass, as in a type of fish (0.8667)
not helping that injured bird you saw (0.8667)
not closing your window, though you're quite cold (0.8667)
that the only thing separating grad school from grade school is e (0.8667)
having itchy gums (0.8667)
that it's nearly eleven again, sigh (0.8667)
lacking the courage to tell somebody how you really felt (0.8659)
using the wrong tense (0.8654)
not telling a person how special they were to you (0.8654)
losing that irreplacable item (0.8644)
not leaving him before he became a judgemental prick (0.8636)
not taking a spare (0.8636)
having either a knack for lulzy old timey jokes, postmodern merriment and general bonhomie, or wallowing in a fathomless dark hole of self abuse and hollow hearted self loathing, with no in between (0.8636)
searching frantically for something that ended up being in your pocket the whole time (0.8636)
Trying to eat chili straight from the pot with a ladel, and just spilling it all over your shirt (0.8636)
republicants (0.8636)
that clinging to the past hinders you from embracing the present, the old Regret Index is dead, long live the Regret Index (0.8636)
being unable to tell (0.8636)
offering tech support for family members (0.8636)
having a friend who is just nice enough to keep you around, but when it comes right down to it, if you ask her for some favor in return for yours, she just utterly sucks (0.8636)
awfulness (0.8636)
not seizing the moment (0.8636)
it taking so long to remember words (0.8636)
imagining how painful a hangnail would be if it rimmed the tip of your urethra (0.8636)
that your academic plans are GONE (0.8621)
ever watching The View (0.8621)
wasting time on the internet waiting for an email you might never get (0.8621)
going back on your word (0.8611)
finding yet another way to rehash past mistakes (0.8607)
not having met ryan north (0.8601)
answering a question without thinking about it first (0.8600)
sounding like a pretentious twit in your comments despite not meaning to (0.8600)
turning on the wrong burner and setting your cookbook on fire (0.8571)
staying in a problematic relationship for the sake of your children (0.8571)
being so lazy you refrained from cleaning up the dead insects on your kitchen and bathroom floors (0.8571)
lacking situations where you can say "rue the day" (0.8571)
tucking your dress into your hose (0.8571)
that papercut (0.8571)
Not thinking she could llove me as a function of not loving myself (0.8571)
pretending the molestation never happened (0.8571)
that you were born too late for tall ships, and too early for spaceships (0.8571)
having an OKcupid account you loser (0.8571)
neofolk (0.8571)
dying from food inhalation (0.8571)
eating everything in two seconds (0.8571)
that nobody seems to realize nihilists make the best RPG villains, case in point Kefka (0.8571)
tripping on DDR (0.8571)
not leaving work before it started raining blood (0.8571)
not discovering the Amazing Regret Index sooner (0.8571)
barf (0.8571)
that there still people alive in two thousand ten who believe the White Stripes were good (0.8571)
that in recommending something to someone, you mentally pick out all of the things that they might not like about it, which in turn tarnishes your enjoyment of it a little (0.8571)
puke (0.8571)
characters in works of fiction that are supposed to be geniuses, so the author feels obligated to construct situations to show off that genius, yet the situations are so contrived and unrealistic that they could only exist in fiction (0.8571)
dropping out of highschool (0.8571)
that Ayn Rand was such a fridged bitch (0.8571)
eating something that when eaten would result in the inability to post regrets that begin with "eating" (0.8571)
that the sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly (0.8571)
the orange burny thing make face burn ARRGH (0.8571)
Hitler (0.8571)
dissociating (0.8571)
the UK not having free speech (0.8571)
beating that final stage, only to realize the basic emptiness of the electronic experience (0.8571)
destroying something expensive because you can't control your damned temper (0.8571)
not having any idea whether you cover letters and portfolio are effective at all, or even reaching anyone (0.8571)
that no one votes on these anymore (0.8571)
living on the most isolated and boring campus ever (0.8571)
eating too much too often (0.8571)
having to wake up before noon (0.8571)
trying to make anything work in internet explorer (0.8571)
fighting between the feeling that you're not ready, and the feeling that you're running out of time (0.8571)
trying to do something in a bit of a hurry on a website that is extremely slow today (0.8571)
not looking both ways before you cross the street (0.8571)
that sometimes even the internet can't find something you want (0.8571)
being woken up early the one day you get to have a lie in (0.8571)
that one linguistics problem (0.8571)
being too tired to do something useful, and not having something useless to do (0.8571)
really believing that it's not how you look that's keeping you from a relationship, but you own fears, which somehow makes it even harder (0.8571)
that real life doesn't have an "undo" button (0.8558)
not kissing that person you really liked when you had the chance before they became a world famous popstar who is now totally beyond your reach (0.8542)
not telling the truth in the fist place (0.8531)
assuming that she would change for me (0.8529)
being afraid to live up to your full potentia (0.8529)
that you meet more interesting people in your dreams than you do in real life (0.8529)
saying something satirical and having people think you meant it (0.8529)
taking forever to get back to someone about a project that only takes five minutes for you to do (0.8525)
going to bed unsatisfied when she's not that far away (0.8519)
doing later the things you could have done earlier (0.8519)
pulling an all nighter to get work done and spending the whole night watching youtube videos instead (0.8519)
not wearing a hat or sunscreen (0.8519)
lolololol (0.8519)
that all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain (0.8519)
not practicing your instrument (0.8519)
not starting that final paper sooner (0.8513)
not telling the truth in the first place (0.8512)
waking up from that dream (0.8511)
grocery shopping while hungry (0.8500)
Pulling all the legs off that Grandaddy long leg (0.8500)
making a promise you couldn't keep (0.8500)
watching movies where the audio and video are out of sync (0.8497)
not asking her out, even though you know she'd say yes (0.8492)
believing the person who said I wasn't good enough (0.8491)
stepping on a slug barefoot (0.8491)
not standing up for yourself most times, and for some reason feeling like a jerk whenever you do (0.8485)
hearing what you want to hear instead of what was really said (0.8480)
not saying hello to someone (0.8479)
not getting enouhg sleep because you stayed up late on the internet for no reason (0.8478)
buying the crappy product off that enticing infomercial (0.8462)
something you have never attempted (0.8462)
forgetting (0.8462)
not saying "I'm sorry" before it was too late (0.8462)
reacting poorly to a confession of feelings only to realize much later how mutual they were (0.8462)
thinking that it's all fine if someone chooses to be a vegan, but you don't think that they have any ground for generalizing their personal preference to a moral truth, in fact you see this happen a lot, in fact you don't even believe in morality (0.8462)
being unhappy (0.8462)
that that regret didn't make sense out of its original context (0.8462)
biting your tongue while chewing gum (0.8462)
that the walrus is not, in fact, a Viking symbol for death (0.8462)
someone finding and returning you your virginity despite your not wanting it back (0.8462)
donloading videos that have a messed up aspect ratio (0.8462)
writing a kind of excellent cover letter for a job you're not one hundred percent sure you want (0.8462)
having to move back in with your parents (0.8462)
how few people realize that Hitchcock's "Dial M for Murder" was shot in three dee (0.8462)
not being able to tell if an idea is awesome or terrible (0.8462)
believing the gossip (0.8462)
being the last of your kind except for, coincidentally, your greatest enemy (0.8462)
tinkers (0.8462)
that more RPGs don't have Irish evil villains (0.8462)
getting lyrics wrong in a lyric regret (0.8462)
searching the president up old skool (0.8462)
developing a cold on day one of a densely scheduled workweek (0.8462)
being far more confident or gregarious via the internet or in writing than you are in person (0.8462)
not travelling before settling down into a real job (0.8462)
having no clue how people cope (0.8462)
not being sure if the same kid just passed you three times, or if there are triplets afoot (0.8462)
wasting your master ball on something shitty like Lisa Allarde Johnson (0.8462)
spilling that coffee on your white shirt (0.8462)
letting all that isn't limited to the ground come into your home (0.8462)
misspelling like (0.8462)
once again having angst in your pangst and wanting to dangst (0.8462)
that the grammer champeen been chosed unfairly (0.8462)
excessive asparatame consumption (0.8462)
finding only yoga listings for "healing, breathing, compassionate and gentle" yoga, where's my "fire eyed punk rock shit blood and chew glass" yoga (0.8462)
not really feeling entirely prepared for a job interview (0.8462)
that the Jack the Ripper case is still unsolved (0.8462)
not doing completely selfish and reckless things more often (0.8462)
that it bothers you how little anything seems to bother her right now, even important things that should (0.8462)
not telling her you like felt (0.8462)
screwing up the grumblecakes caper (0.8462)
that "hurting yourself" currently has an index of ZERO (0.8462)
coming down with a fever in the middle of summer (0.8462)
sexual frustration (0.8462)
turd too big (0.8462)
making typos (0.8462)
facebooking (0.8462)
that watching V for Vendetta is probably not going to substantially increase your chances of sleeping with Natalie Portman, and there's a commercial on average every eight minutes (0.8462)
not being sure how to feel anything is important (0.8462)
sweet mind rapes (0.8462)
what an enormous number of utterly crap films somehow get greenlit for screen (0.8462)
accidentally sending a bitchy email to the person you were bitching about instead of a friend (0.8444)
not reading more dinosaur comics (0.8444)
attending an unnecessary meeting (0.8440)
not saing goodbye (0.8438)
laughing along, and not telling them what you really believe (0.8436)
not telling off the kids that never stopped picking on you (0.8431)
fergie (0.8421)
not being able to find the reciept that proves your xbox is still under warranty (0.8421)
being the only guy from ZZ Top without a beard (0.8421)
shows that were never made (0.8421)
christian rock (0.8421)
making enough food for two meals, so that you could have leftovers for lunch the next day, but then eating all of it at once (0.8421)
apologizing too much in situations where you could have just said 'my bad' or something (0.8421)
that soylent green is people (0.8421)
not playing with your dog more often while he or she was alive (0.8421)
wasting ten years in a spiraling morass of unrequited love (0.8404)
staying with him even though I don't love him (0.8403)
Not learning a foreign language sooner (0.8400)
those actually being the droids you're looking for (0.8400)
hurting her (0.8387)
not keeping your promises (0.8385)
waiting for a phone call that you know will probably never come (0.8378)
misplacing an article (0.8378)
not telling her how you feel when you had the chance (0.8364)
losing the vitality of youth (0.8355)
getting HIV from unprotected sex (0.8333)
taking beloved pets to an animal shelter after being evicted (0.8333)
leaving a flash drive in a public computer (0.8333)
getting into that threesome with two other people who didn't know (0.8333)
sleeping in fergie after forgetting to wipe Mindless Self Indulgence (0.8333)
having written over ten thousand regrets only to have them deleted (0.8333)
not getting enough sleep because you stayed up late on the internet for no reason (0.8333)
ordering a number six when you know you wanted a number two (0.8333)
teasing that kid in school about being gay because you assumed he was straight, but then he grew up to be gay and started a program to help gay kids deal with ignorant bullies in school (0.8333)
when they fell out in the middle of the meal (0.8333)
not changing the oil (0.8333)
not shutting up (0.8333)
blarfing all over the place (0.8333)
making criticisms that so obviously reflect your own painfully banal insecurities (0.8333)
something that exists (0.8333)
games or series that make death a minor inconvenience at best, then try to create pathos with the death of a character (0.8333)
that your butt is kind of gross (0.8333)
being geeky enough, but not hot enough, for cosplay (0.8333)
blaming red herring (0.8333)
Waiting so long (0.8333)
that philosophy has no satisfying explanation as to why love of people exists, only biology does (0.8333)
country music (0.8333)
being SO SAD (0.8333)
nausea (0.8333)
feeling slighted by a friend, which causes you to become lonely and cranky and to lash out at your other friends who try to help you, thereby alienating them and perpetuating the spiral (0.8333)
your Sex Pistols tribute band, the Gender Rifles (0.8333)
hearing that a new season of a show is really good, and thinking you should watch it, but knowing you would feel the need to watch the previous, kind of bad seasons first (0.8333)

bottom regrets

using the word "waffletastic" (0.0000)
licking Danish remoulade off of Chris Lydon's erect penis (0.0000)
fisting Go Ikeda (0.0000)
telling that girl in second grade who insisted that you were "the boss of her" to show you her vagina (0.0000)
masturbating with your cut off hand (0.0000)
[ show more ]

most voted regrets

meeting Brian Peppers (12078/0.9998)
turtles (2607/0.0004)
the death of Sylvia Browne (2430/0.0000)
that you're suddenly very interested in the origin of the champagne out of a shoe trope (2336/0.5076)
breasts (1440/0.0135)
[ show more ]