April 9th, 2009
T-REX'S STORY BEGAN WHEN THERE WAS A GUY IN THE BATHROOM STALL, AND THEN HE SAW THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY (T-REX) IN THE BATHROOM STALL. THE FIRST GUY PONDERED, "WHERE DID THAT T-REX GUY COME FROM?" HE PONDERED AS HARD AS HE COULD.
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The haps: Many times I have complained to those near to me that if I were sent back in time I would be pretty useless. I am pretty handy with a computer, but it's not like I can build something functional from scratch. And if I found myself sent back in time, what could I tell people about the future except "It'll be fun" and "Your great-great grandkids are gonna love it"?

WITH THAT IN MIND, I have been researching all of the low-hanging fruit of civilization: stuff that doesn't take that much to describe once it's invented, but still produces a useful payoff. The basics of electricity. Radio. Modern medicine. That sort of thing! And I've put it on a shirt, which I am calling "the Time Traveler Essentials shirt".

This amazing garment has illustrations, how-tos and easy-to-understand information on how to recreate all the low-hanging fruit of the past 200 years! Don't worry about having to remember what penicillin looks like: it's right on your friggin' shirt.

This is how it's gonna go down:

Oh dang dang dang I'm trapped in the past! OHHH SHIIIIII-

oh wait I forgot about my shirt!!

While you can't read all the text clearly in that image, everything is perfectly crystal clear on the shirt - it's really gorgeous. And if you ARE the kind of person who likes to read what their things say before they buy them, click here for a larger version!

I hope you like it! And if you don't wear clothes these days, it's also available as a totally sweet museum-quality poster:

Note: this shirt was totally awesome to research.

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