What are the haps my friends

June 25th, 2009: I got a few emails about The Lyttle Lytton Contest, which is a contest where you make up the first line of a novel. If you're interested in funny first lines, I recommend it! The problem with funny first lines is that, if you're expecting a joke, often they're not AS funny as they would be otherwise - BUT THAT SAID, I still think this runner up from 2007 is great: "The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni’s crotch."

PRO TIP: the first time I typed that I wrote "unending holocaust of paint"

Okay so this movie has been floating around lately and GUESS WHAT I really like it too! Please Say Something. Enjoy!

GUESS WHAT JUST CAME OUT: IT'S MY NEW BOOK!! If you've ever wondered what you'd do if you were stranded in the past, wonder no longer! With HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING, you'll reinvent civilization from scratch, no matter what time period you're in. You'll become the single most influential, decisive, and important person ever born. You'll make history...


Here's the trailer!

One year ago today: i am on a diet and i now look at going to the bathroom as the easiest way to lose weight. it's gross! i know!

– Ryan

big ups and shouts out