June 3rd, 2014: This comic was inspired by a Twitter post I made the other night when I first opened my mind and stumbled upon this conspiracy! Thanks to everyone who replied for pointing out other inconsistencies in the "official history". Together we'll bring the truth to light, I swear it. One year ago today: One Hundred THOUSAND Years Of Solitude – Ryan
December 1st-4th: All shipping methods except U.S.P.S. First-Class Package International Service™ are safe. December 5th: International orders made not selecting U.S.P.S. Priority Mail Express International™ shipping will likely arrive in January. December 10th: USPS FIRST CLASS and STANDARD may not make it in time and neither will USPS EXPRESS MAIL INTERNATIONAL. December 14th: ALMOST NOTHING IS SAFE. USPS EXPRESS is the only safe USPS option. For FEDEX HOME/GROUND shipping it depends on where you are: refer to this map!
December 17th: A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (IF THINGS PLACED ON OR AFTER THIS DATE ARRIVE BY THE 24TH, THAT IS)
One year ago today: One Hundred THOUSAND Years Of Solitude