Narrator: THE BEST THING TO DO
T-Rex: The best thing to do is to BE COOL! I know you want me to say "have satisfying consensual sex" but being cool is even COOLER than having satisfying consensual sex!
T-Rex: You know that SOMETIMES it is!

Narrator: ...IN A DARKENED ROOM
T-Rex: Be cool in a darkened room! Hah!

Narrator: ...WITH HUNDREDS OF STRANGERS
T-Rex: Watch a motion picture!!

Narrator: ...WHILE EATING POPCORN
T-Rex: Watch a movie. I just said.
Utahraptor: He just said!!

Narrator: ...AND DRINKING POP FROM A MOVIE THEATRE FOUNTAIN POP MACHINE
T-Rex: Is there anything to do in this situation BESIDES quietly watch a movie? You shouldn't have sex if you're eating and drinking at the same time.
Utahraptor: Your mouth is full of wet, pop-soaked food.

Narrator: AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX WHILE IN A MOVIE THEATRE. SURPRISE! THIS HAS BEEN A MOVIE THEATRE PSA ALL ALONG
T-Rex: It would've worked better if it was run before a film though!
Narrator: YES. YES, OBVIOUSLY, BUT WE DO WHAT WE CAN WITH WHAT WE HAVE