T-Rex: I've made another fantastic discovery: a discovery bound to send those music theorists back to their dusty ol' drawing boards (one dusty ol' drawing board per theorist)! For you see...

T-Rex: I've discovered how to turn most any song into a love song!

T-Rex: As long as the song mentions "life", you can replace it with the word "wife" and HEY PRESTO: a love song! About wives!
Dromiceiomimus: A love song featuring heterosexual relationships only?
T-Rex: Nuh-uh! If someone sings to the people of the world to spice up their wife, WHICH HAS HAPPENED, I WAS THERE, then it's not totally heterosexual any more!

Utahraptor: I feel like the "baby" to "matey" sea shanty conversion is more compelling!
T-Rex: I ask you to withhold judgment!

T-Rex: Consider "It's My Wife", "Wife After Death" (sometimes these songs get sad), "This Is The Wife" (a spouse may need pointing out), "Bring Me To Wife" (even GRAMMAR ITSELF cannot hold in the face of such raw emotion/transport demands), and "The Circle Of Wife". It moves us all, Utahraptor.
T-Rex: Through despair AND hope.

Off panel: Well in that case, I hope you had the Time Of Your Wife.
T-Rex: Yes!!
T-Rex: (Usually this is the same time as others keep, but SOMETIMES, wives may disagree with the consensus.)

October 5th, 2011: The first time T-Rex made a discovery that messed up those music theorists was back in 2004!

Listen, sometimes you want to leave your friends a note, but you know they'll take it way more seriously if it comes from the mouth of T-Rex! Sometimes instead of writing a note to your friends, you're writing it to yourself, but with the exact same expectation of T-Rex authority! And SOMETIMES, you want to stick these notes on things using a technology invented by Art Fry!

Okay listen I don't want to oversell this, but here we go:

THIS PRODUCT CAN TOTALLY MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

And then sometimes you stop to think about it, and you realize we're all taking a heck of a lot of risks, right? We're all living right on the edge. And you need to tell people! Have I got an apron for YOU and YOURS, my friend:

All this and more in the just-updated shoppe!

One year ago today: one very depressing room to wake up in. you wake up and you're all "aw man! thanks for REMINDING me"

– Ryan