T-Rex: Behold! The IDEAL product for busy people with ambitious goals for themselves - AND their families!T-Rex: Yes, my product is BUILT for those who make things - and CHANGE things!Dromiceiomimus: What is this product you're pitching, T-Rex? T-Rex: Oh, CONFIDENTIALLY, I don't actually know yet. But I figured if I advertise it with compelling-enough copy, people will be all "wow what is this amazing product?" and then speculate, and then I can just take one of their ideas! Bam! BUSINESS!T-Rex: I'm inspired by how the mysterious Segway was said to be a more important invention than the internet! Utahraptor: Neat!Utahraptor: Because THAT didn't set expectations way too high AT ALL, such that when the product was released people were so disappointed that we're still talking about it decades later. T-Rex: All I'm saying is MY product is for professionals who will NOT be satisfied with second place.Narrator: LATER, T-REX RELEASES A COOKBOOK THAT'S ALSO A PAINT-BY-NUMBERS: T-Rex: You use your food to PAINT, creating PAINTINGS that ROT!! ...Aaaand I'm bankrupt. T-Rex: *sigh* T-Rex: AGAINhttps://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=4167
T-Rex: Okay! Time to determine what my legacy will be!T-Rex: I'm thinking... maybe my work?T-Rex: Ooh! Or MAYBE I'll live on in all the lives I've touched! Or in the faces of my children!Dromiceiomimus: You don't have children.T-Rex: Sure, but like the saying goes, tomorrow is another day (to have reproductive sexual intercourse)!Utahraptor: That IS how the saying goes!T-Rex: Everyone knows it!Utahraptor: But I think what you're forgetting is that if you die in a memorable enough way, THAT'S your legacy. Can you tell me anything about the guy who owned Segway except that he died by accidentally riding his Segway off a cliff??T-Rex: I can after I go online and research this colourful character!!Narrator: BUT T-REX INSTEAD GETS DISTRACTED BY A BOTTOMLESS ALGORITHMIC FEED OF VIDEOS, ALL OF WHICH HE FORGETS MINUTES AFTER WATCHING THEM!T-Rex: No regrets!Narrator: SOME REGRETShttps://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=4120
T-Rex: I would like to have an inclined treadmill, so that I could build an indoor skateboarding track. Am I that crazy?T-Rex: Am I that crazy... TO DREAM?T-Rex: The idea is that it's like a moving sidewalk, but the speed is computer controlled! So you hop on your skateboard and get on the track, and within a few moments the speed of the treadmill is exactly matching the speed your board would otherwise be travelling at! You're not moving, but the board FEELS like it's travelling at speed.T-Rex: The slogan will be, "Yes. You can skateboard in your apartment in winter."Utahraptor: So it's like a reverse Segway, only the computer controls speed by moving the ground, instead of the wheels.T-Rex: Sure!T-Rex: But can you imagine how fun it would be, to have that sensation of movement indoors, while not actually moving?Utahraptor: And hey, if you fall, you'll be whipped backwards at the speed you were travelling at!T-Rex: Here's a solution to that! DON'T FALL DOWN??Off panel: But you're describing a virtual infinite hill. The treadmill will eventually have to be moving at terminal velocity!T-Rex: Oh yeah, NOBODY is gonna want to buy the TERMINAL VELOCITY SKATEBOARD SIMULATOR.Off panel: I just -T-Rex: EXTREME!!https://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1172
