← July 9th, 2009 →
originally god didn't have the "and"s in his list! it read "OH HECK TAKE YOUR PICK FROM CANCER HEART DISEASE STROKE ACCIDENTS", but then i saw i'd accidentally invented killer cancer heart disease stroke accidents, so, you know, TIME FOR REWRITES
The haps: Shortly after this comic went up, Greg sent me a link to The Odds Of Dying From..., which is very handy if you're an American and you want to know the lifetime odds of dying from, say, a "foreign body entering through skin or natural orifice", which are (just?) 1 in 103,004.
As Greg points out, the current odds of dying from being "bitten or crushed by non-venemous snakes and lizards" are at 0! The lesson here is clear, you guys: FEEL FREE TO ANNOY ALL THE NON-VENEMOUS SANKES AND LIZARDS YOU WANT, THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
FLASH UPDATE: A few readers pointed me to the WHO International Classification of Diseases, 10th Edition, which enumerates all sorts of problems you can have, more completely than the selection I linked to above. And it's only a hop skip and a jump from there to just reading this list as Tons Of Ways You Can Die. There's no probabilities, but it includes some fun ones like T63.9 ("Toxic effect of contact with unspecified venomous animal"), W.19 ("Unspecified fall") and V97.3 ("Person on ground injured in air transport accident"), clarified on the site as "Sucked into a jet".
FUN TIMES AT THE WHO AND DINOSAUR COMICS TODAY