T-Rex: The problem with Superman, and Spider-Man, AND Batman, and pretty much every other superhero, is that their stories don't have ends. They're all stuck in the same productive age range, 20-30 years old, and it's easy to see why!
T-Rex: Companies don't want their most popular characters dying of old age!
T-Rex: But the result is that their stories don't have ENDS. We don't know how Batman deals with a failing body and the rigours of old age, how Spider-Man reacts when Mary Jane loses her looks. I mean, we DO, because sometimes out-of-continuity stories explore this, but they're never for real - they don't count! Bats is always 30 again in the next story. It's like David fights Goliath, but they keep fighting every few issues for 50 years, and you never see how it ends.
Utahraptor: You know, there are a lot of interesting parallels here with soap operas!
T-Rex: How so?
Utahraptor: Soaps have long-running narratives, but characters die all the time. The difference is soaps focus on PREMISE rather than individuals, so they're not killing a cash cow when someone dies. They just bring in someone new!
T-Rex: So Batman dies, and the book focuses on his butler Alfred working for Spider-Man instead!
〚T-Rex imagines a dialog〛
Imaginary Alfred: Sir, I am old and conservative. You can't expect me to "loosen up" overnight.
Imaginary Spider-Man: Alfred, I'm young and liberal! I don't like your "rules"!!
Imaginary T-Rex: Gentlemen, gentlemen!! Please!
T-Rex: YES.
