Sign: ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE
T-Rex: Today's letter to Professor Science comes from Alexis, who writes:
T-Rex: "Dear Professor, how much would it cost to buy the WHOLE DANG PLANET??"
T-Rex: Wow! I guess we need to know how much our planet is worth, then. I'm guessing... a kabazillion dollars?
Dromiceiomimus: What if we took the sum value of all the world's currencies? That'd tell us how much everything is worth, in total!
T-Rex: That works, right? Because money itself isn't worth anything, but we all PRETEND it's worth the value of the goods it's traded for, right?
Utahraptor: Except that doesn't include oceans and stuff - things you can't buy!
T-Rex: TRUE.
Utahraptor: Plus, buying the WHOLE DANG PLANET also means buying everything on it, and that means we now have to put a price on LIFE ITSELF.
T-Rex: I always knew this day would come, Utahraptor. I - I just never thought it'd be soon.
T-Rex: Alright! Life itself is, what - like twenty bucks?
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Professor Science, can we SCIENTIFICALLY PROVE that people are wrong for getting mad at me for saying life is worth like twenty bucks? It grows in crusty milk, it is like the most free thing ever!!
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: PROFESSOR ARE YOU EVEN HOME