Narrator: FUN FACTS ABOUT... ARISTOTLE!
T-Rex: Aristotle is one of the biggest figures in Western philosophy! Dude basically invented it. Fun!

T-Rex: He also thought the Earth was the literal center of the Universe! Fun!

T-Rex: But we can't fault him for that, because he also came up with an objective and clearly defined method of accumulating and verifying knowledge whose descendant - the scientific method! - we're still using today. He also thought that women were a lower form of life, because he found them to be... um, physically colder?
T-Rex: F-Fun!

Utahraptor: He also expressed many of the fundamental laws of logic for the very first time!
T-Rex: Fun!

Utahraptor: And coming back to women, he argued they weren't fully human, AND he believed that slavery was natural. Fun!
T-Rex: Oh, history. Aren't there ANY figures from 2000 years ago that share all our current modern-day beliefs?

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: ...BESIDES the version of me that was sent back in time and left snarky-ass notes carved into rocks, which, when assembled properly, read "FUTURE" "ME" "I'M" "TRAPPED" "IN" "THE" "PAST" "SO" "YOU" "CAN" "JUST" "SUCK" "AN" "EGG"??

February 12th, 2010: Guys I've got a new shirt! It's actually a new version of one of the very first shirts I ever made, the EXTREME SHIRT:

Dudes skateboarding out of helicopters! THERE IS NOTHING MORE EXTREME. It's based on this comic from 2005, and while I kept the dudes from the 2005 shirt but upped the level of helicopter extreme by about 1 billion decaextremes!!

One year ago today: someone monitoring my google searches today would find "where are darwin's remains", "where is darwin buried", "how long does it take a skeleton to decay", and "okay but what if it was near an anthill though"

– Ryan