T-Rex: When some slugs and snails get horny, they try to spear each other with a spear grown inside their own bodies before actually having sex!
T-Rex: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT A METAPHOR.
T-Rex: It's called a "love dart" and they literally grow it inside their own bodies. Scientists were like, "oh, it delivers sperm" - but NOPE. Then they were like, "oh it's a... gift? Of... calcium?" but NOPE. Turns out the dart - that sometimes GOES STRAIGHT THROUGH THEIR HEADS TO STICK OUT THE OTHER SIDE - has mucus on it, and that helps sperm survive. Dromiceiomimus: Like we needed sex to be EVEN WEIRDER. T-Rex: I know!!
Utahraptor: Do they fire them like arrows? T-Rex: It's more of a... straight-up stabbing?
T-Rex: But here's the thing: snails that do this are NATIVE TO GREECE: the same place CUPID comes from! It's entirely possible we imagined Cupid up after watching these snails stab each other right before boning. And that's how one of our oldest and most central love metaphors is based entirely on horny snails.
Banner: Sex is weird Banner: And bodies are gross
What are the haps my friends
October 7th, 2015:Should've written this comic on Valentine's day, but you never know when Cupid will stab you with his love dart!!