Narrator: SO YOU'VE BEEN CURSED BY THE GODS AND NOW HAVE SNAKES FOR HAIR
T-Rex: Don't worry! This happens a lot, for some reason!

T-Rex: Maybe it's because we live in a world of wild capricious gods of limitless power; who knows??

T-Rex: CARE: your hair snakes are immortal, but will become ornery when hungry. Thankfully, hair snakes, like most snakes, eat mice.
Dromiceiomimus: Feed them by hand or by regularly submerging your head in a bucket of squirming rodents: whatever is more convenient for you.

Utahraptor: STYLE: positive reinforcement training can encourage your snakes into many fashionable positions!
T-Rex: Yes!

T-Rex: INTIMACY: many find the hint of danger when kissing someone with a head full of hissing snakes intoxicating.
Utahraptor: But remember: snakes, if startled, will bite. Be sure to approach sexual partners slowly and calmly, especially if they also have snakes.

T-Rex: RECOVERY: you have a head full of immortal GOD-SNAKES, you are feared by most and respected by all, and even in death hissing snakes will forever protect your skull. You have ALREADY recovered.
T-Rex: From MEDIOCRITY.