July 9th, 2014: If you're not starting every answer with "First off: how much do you know about sperm?" then all I can say is, wow, you're probably getting asked more questions than me, huh??

GUESS WHAT JUST CAME OUT: IT'S MY NEW BOOK!! If you've ever wondered what you'd do if you were stranded in the past, wonder no longer! With HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING, you'll reinvent civilization from scratch, no matter what time period you're in. You'll become the single most influential, decisive, and important person ever born. You'll make history...

...better.

Here's the trailer!

One year ago today: i actually don't spend that much time thinking about vampires. mostly i think about, like, dogs

– Ryan