T-Rex: I have come up with an excellent way to celebrate Hallowe'en: a date auction!
T-Rex: Featuring: me!
T-Rex: And since it's Hallowe'en, the prize is NOT ONLY a date with me (T-Rex!) but it's a HELLA CREEPY date with me (T-Rex!). I'll arrive two hours early, stand perfectly still across the street, and peer into your windows with binoculars. I'll ring the doorbell while pressing my eye up against the peephole. I'll ask you how your day was and whenever you use the pronoun "I" I'll suck my fingers. I will be only MODERATELY discreet about it. Happy Hallowe'en!
Utahraptor: And people will bid on you why?
T-Rex: Because of charity! It's all for charity, my good man!
Utahraptor: I feel like I'd prefer to give my money to charity directly, rather than go through this whole "creepy date" thing.
T-Rex: Well, alright, then I guess I'll just end up dating someone who WANTS a hella creepy date with a stranger!
Narrator: HALLOWE'EN NIGHT:
Off panel: We like it when you suck on your fingers, T-Rex. "I", "I", "I", "I", "I".
T-Rex: Aw, come on! You only bid like $20!
Off panel: So?
T-Rex: It's just -
T-Rex: Never has one man sucked on his fingers so much for so little
