Narrator: T-REX SOLVES YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS.
T-Rex: Hello everybody! If you stopped having relationships, maybe you'd stop having relationship problems!
T-Rex: Okay anyway!
T-Rex: Let's say you've got a problem with your partner: THAT SUCKS. But you two should talk about it, and if you can't reach a solution, resolution or compromise that's mutually satisfying and that you both believe will be acceptably implemented, then you should break up! It is a fail-proof algorithm for relationship satisfaction. Tada!
Utahraptor: So the relationship now hangs in the balance of every disagreement, no matter how small!
T-Rex: Of course not!
T-Rex: OBVIOUSLY, if you value the relationship and its potential future more than the sum of this problem plus all previous problems, then you should stay together! I folded that into "mutually satisfying".
Utahraptor: Ah.
T-Rex: All relationship problems ever: TOTALLY SOLVED??
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Dear audio diary: sometimes I worry that the only thing I'm not great at is modesty!
T-Rex: However!
T-Rex: These thoughts are, at best, infrequent
