T-Rex: Last night I dreamed I came home and there was a spy there! He was trying to steal my DOCUMENTS!
T-Rex: So we got into a fight!
T-Rex: Only this spy didn't realize that I'M really good at fighting in dreams, so I pinned him to the roof with one hand and called 911, and the dispatcher was like "we only respond to EMERGENCIES, T-Rex - and you've got this handled!" I thanked them politely and hung up and said "Did you hear that? I think they're only gonna come if YOU call." Then I crushed the phone with my other hand and said "Wow. You're having a really difficult day."
Utahraptor: Huh. I never thought of this before, but dreams are really fan fiction your mind writes itself, aren't they?
T-Rex: Nope!
Utahraptor: Yeah man! And YOUR brain writes these little stories where you're the greatest guy ever, and then shares its author-insertion Mary Sue fics with itself, and THEN, congratulates itself on such an enjoyable, compelling narrative!
T-Rex: LISTEN. YOU'RE MAKING ME SOUND SUPER PATHETIC.
T-Rex: WHEN I REPLAY THIS CONVERSATION IN MY DREAMS, INSTEAD OF "PATHETIC" I'M GOING TO SAY "SUPER AWESOME. AND I'M SORRY, I KNOW YOU WANT TO DATE ME BUT REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS TO DATE ME TOO. IT'S MY BURDEN TO BEAR AND I SHOULDER IT GLADLY."
T-Rex: THEN I'M GONNA FLEX, JUST YOU WAIT
