T-Rex: Bad news, everyone! Feelings you experience without sharing them with LITERALLY EVERYONE AROUND YOU are over now. From now on, all emotions are performative emotions!
T-Rex: AHHH I'M SO EXCITED AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE I'M SCREAMING IN A RESTAURANT
T-Rex: Remember that feeling you'd have on your birthday, when everyone watched you unwrap a present, and you'd sit there knowing what response they want and hoping you can perform it to their standards lest you appear ungrateful or selfish? Well, it's mandatory now.
Dromiceiomimus: And you'd BETTER be posting about each feeling you have.
T-Rex: WITH PICS. Pics or it didn't happen to your emotional equilibrium.
Utahraptor: What about those of us who don't feel compelled to share our every feeling with -
T-Rex: SILENCE, THAT'S OVER NOW
T-Rex: Listen: the best feelings are the ones that get the most likes. You didn't sign up to social media to NOT get likes, did you?
Utahraptor: I - I guess not.
T-Rex: Well. There's your answer.
Narrator: AND SO:
T-Rex: Guys! When I opened up YouTube and turned on my webcam first thing this morning, I felt a long and sustained sense of endless, fathomless ennui!!
T-Rex: Alright my dudes, don't forget to like and subscribe
