T-Rex: Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!

Narrator: REALISTIC REBOOTS OF DAD JOKES

T-Rex: And it was true, he was rich. But money hadn't been - pardon the pun - the lifesaver he thought it'd be. It had been like winning the lottery, and if he'd been smart, he would've kept a low profile. Put the money in the bank, waited a year, talked to lawyers. Instead he told everyone, lived large. He made himself a target, and now he has to carry kidnapping and ransom insurance constantly.

Utahraptor: That's a thing?
T-Rex: Heck yes that's a thing!

T-Rex: And ironically, having it actually makes you a GREATER target for kidnapping, because now everyone knows you're definitely good to ransom. Anyway, Lifesavers ruined his life and his wealth was a curse and he couldn't even walk his dog without bodyguards now, the end.

T-Rex: That's right!! Sometimes "realistic" just means sad!
T-Rex: Welcome to adulthood??