God: HEY T-REX
God: TODAY IS THE DAY WHEN EVERYONE HAS TO TELL A STORY FROM THEIR PAST BEGINNING WITH "I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET TOPLESS"
T-Rex: Denied!
T-Rex: TODAY is the day we talk about meritocracy!
T-Rex: In a meritocracy all jobs, including government jobs, are assigned based on MERIT. So if you're the best at a job then it's yours, regardless of your sex or gender or race or stupid mustachio or anything!
Dromiceiomimus: But what if I'm awesome at set design while also truly despising all aspects of set design?
T-Rex: Then you wouldn't actually be the best! You'd get some other job you're better at. The result: PURE UNCUT UTOPIA.
Utahraptor: Yeah, the only problem is there's absolutely no way to accurately judge merit!
T-Rex: Sure there is!
Utahraptor: No way dude! You'd have to know the exact skills AND future potential of EVERYONE. If you had some omniscient and impartial third party then MAYBE, but you'll never get rid of cronyism when you have regular dudes trying to determine who's best. There's too much potential for authoritarianism and corruption!
T-Rex: God! Can YOU be an omniscient and impartial third party for me?
God: HEY YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN TALKING ABOUT MERITOCRACY
God: TOPLESS
God: FRIGGIN
God: FRIENDS
