T-Rex: Shortly after you're born THINGS start pushing their way out of your face. You can't stop or control them. Your parents can cut them free in horror but more will keep coming because they've ROOTED inside you, deep within your skin.
T-Rex: If this sounds familiar, you may already be a human!
Dromiceiomimus: It's not just the top of their faces, T-Rex. They have it on the edge of their EYELIDS. Some CULTIVATE it around their MOUTHS. Their mouths! T-Rex: Organic matter that they can't kill because IT'S ALREADY DEAD is secreting out of their bodies, and you know what their response is? They STYLE IT. They say "oh neat, this dead stuff that INVOLUNTARILY PUSHED ITS WAY OUT OF MY HEAD would look really neato in a bun."
T-Rex: It's like always-on slow-motion Play-Doh Fun Factories, ALL OVER THEIR BODIES. Utahraptor: Sometimes they can stop it!
Utahraptor: Some humans develop "baldness", which prevents protein filaments from forcing themselves out of at least PARTS of their heads. T-Rex: Oh, what blessed relief. Utahraptor: But they can still emit from backs and knuckles and armpits and legs and necks and toes. T-Rex: AHHHHHH
T-Rex: "I wish the straight snakelike excretions coming out of MY body were more like your curly ones. One day I will spend ACTUAL MONEY on ones that other humans cut off of their bodies and wear them on top of my head like a hat" T-Rex: -- HUMANS??