T-Rex: Are you tired of nobody caring about your "tweets" on Twitter dot com? Oh no! Have you become gradually more aware that you're "tweeting" into a vast void of quiet indifference?

T-Rex: OH NO!

T-Rex: Luckily there's a solution that'll give your innermost thoughts (posted for free on a for-profit privately-owned corporate platform) more #viral #traction! The answer, friends and neighbours, is PREFIXED and SUFFIXED PHRASES.
T-Rex: Try "As a(n) x" or "If I die tomorrow, my last words will be:" in front, and for afterwards "AND I VOTE." or "RT if you disagree OR agree!"

Utahraptor: So where I might normally say "I think chicken wings are gross and stupid!!"...

Utahraptor: ...now I'd say "As a mommy blogger, I think chicken wings are gross and stupid. AND I VOTE."
T-Rex: Exactly!
T-Rex: And wow, is there a Twitter machine around here? Because that's something I'd love to "retweet"!!

Narrator: BUT SECRETLY:
T-Rex: 〚thinks〛 Wow! Never has a single sentence made me want to run and hide from its speaker more than right now, in this very moment!!
T-Rex: 〚thinks〛 WHILE ALSO CRAMMING CHICKEN WINGS INTO MY MOUTH