T-Rex: You face your opponent on an empty grid of nine spaces. All seems eminently fair: you have Xs, they have Os, but both marks function identically.

Narrator: TIC-TAC-TOE
Narrator: AS SHE IS PLAYED

T-Rex: However, what you DON'T know is if your opponent goes first, you have already lost, unless your opponent makes some very stupid moves. There is absolutely no way for the second player to force a victory.
Dromiceiomimus: It is a simple game and a solved game, and therefore, it is a pointless game. Optimal play results in a tie EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Utahraptor: It's a game with no upsides, only downsides - and you will end your game no richer for your effort, and poorer for the time it took.

T-Rex: Even if you go first, winning STILL depends on your opponent making an error. However children do not know this, and they are the VAST majority of Tic-Tac-Toe consumers, so if you've ever wanted to absolutely RUIN a child's day then WOW, do I have a game for YOU!!

T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: ...That game is basketball, by the way